Flux
by goodwitch08
Summary: Elena finds herself involved with the last person she thought would ever look her way: Rufus Shinra. Can she handle being with a man who's rumored to never have cried or bled? And what about everything else?
1. One of those Bad Days

_**Goodwitch08: This is my first FFVII fanfiction and the first story I've done entirely in first person point of view. Anyway, before you read the story, I just wanted to explain a few things. As I write, I'll try to keep true to the situations that take place during the game (and thereafter) which is half of the reason that Elena is infatuated with Tseng even though this is a Rufena story. I don't believe in changing **_**that** _**completely just to suit the story. IN fact, it's working quite well in my favor for the complicate-ness (not even a word!) it can cause. With that said, I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoy writing it!**_

* * *

**Flux**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_**One of those Bad Days**_

* * *

Convincing Reno and Rude that my feelings about my first performance last week are important and worth talking about at midnight over beers in one of the many bars that dot Midgar's upper plate is hard. Between Rude's disinterest sighs and Reno's cussing and ignoring me, my faith would have wavered by by now but this gross brown crap known as alcohol is starting to make me believe I'm invincible, and that this stuff actually tastes good. Which it doesn't.

"Are you two even listening to me?" I looked into the reflection of Rude's sunglasses. "Rude." He didn't look away but he didn't answer me either, Rude merely took another swig of his drink. I'm going to take this as an invitation to get an answer out of him. "You were there with me at the Mythril Mines when we ran into Ava--or um--Cloud and Co as Reno fondly calls them...do you think I did well? I know I accidentally revealed too much and the commander got all annoyed and told me I talk too much--"

"That's because you do." Reno cut me off so fast I felt like I'd been slapped. he downed his tenth glass, glanced around the bar, and then met my gaze. "Chill the fuck out yo."

"That's your philosophy?" I glanced at the ever so quiet Rude for support. He simply turned away, telling me I was on my own. "Chill out?"

A cigarette emerged from under the table, and met Reno's lips. Complaining about the unpleasantness of smoke mingling with the smell of beer crossed my mind but I held back.

"Yep." his eyes formed content slits, a stream of smoke escaped his mouth with each word. "Chill out, it ain't worth freakin out over, right big guy?" he gave Rude a sharp nudge.

"Maybe." was his only answer.

I frowned and pushed my second glass around the table. I nibbled my bottom lip quietly for a moment. "Yes it is guys. You two have been here longer. Tseng was disappointed in me... I can still remember that look he gave me, and I haven't been on assignment since. Who's to say I didn't fail? I can't chill 'the fuck' out Reno." I grabbed my glass and forced the entire thing down. I don't want them to ignore me, I want them to shower me with their wisdom. Or something. All I got was a scoff from Reno before he puffed again like a dragon.

"Elena, you didn't do much wrong."

Whoa did Rude just talk a lot in one sentence? Sure enough, he adjusted his sunglasses. It's great to have him finally talking to me tonight.

"I told Cloud and Co that we were following Sephiroth and trying to find the Promised Land. I told quite a bit. The worst part was having it overheard by the President when Tseng was scolding me in the hall..."

I can still remember seeing him watching us. If there is someone else at ShinRa that intimidates me it's Rufus Shinra. His presence had made me so tense even though he was completely silent until Tseng finished talking to me. I rarely see President Rufus, since he hardly leaves his office and I'm not important enough to talk to him it shouldn't really matter.

"Who Rufus?" Reno arched a red eyebrow. "He's cool."

"He's our boss--" can't he see how unprofessional it is to call his boss by his first name? For shame.

"So? Anyway, look Laney, stop whining about it. Let's toast to you joining us, sista."

A smile tugged at my lips, Reno and Rude raised their half-empty glasses.

* * *

I'd gotten home late and woke up with nothing short of a hangover. Not the best first impression, I know, but that's what happened. There was nothing normal about it, but it is to be expected when my two friends are guys that like to drink as a relaxation technique. The bad thing about that is drinking isn't something I do gracefully. Actually, I don't do anything gracefully, but that's not the point. The point is that I'm a lightweight. I can't really stomach more than two glasses. That doesn't really matter when someone is goading you on to drink and offering to pay. Reno can be persuasive and freebies are never something to turn down.

I woke up in my bed face down, fully dressed in my wrinkled Turk suit minus my boots and my last clean tie. I was currently standing at the arch that led into my living room. Immaculate, though it may not be, I wasn't junky either. It was constructed chaos. I think that anyone's mental state and personality can be determined by how they live, and I have decided that I am not exactly stable but I'm not crazy either. Everything was exactly where I put it. Except for my tie. I could remember myself coming through the front door with Rude, my calmer colleague, supporting me and saying bye to them. Then I'd gotten frustrated at how tight my tie was in my drunken discomfort, so I tore it off and threw it somewhere.

_Somewhere _being the key word. I have no idea where it could be. The idea of crawling on the floor comes into my mind, and I drop to my knees and crawl across the thick dark blue carpet, searching beneath my furniture.

"Oooh...I know it has to be here somewhere." I bite my lip and sit back with my legs tucked under me. "Definitely, I mean I remember...throwing it." My eyes scanned the room, hoping for a glimpse of black.

I really needed to find my tie. It was necessary. For my uniform. I prided myself on looking totally professional. Being a new Turk, I have to impress everyone in every way. Especially Tseng, but...that's another story for another day. I wonder what he would think if I showed up with no tie. Probably wouldn't notice or care, but still. I know while showing up half dressed with untucked shirts was acceptable for more prominent fixtures in the elite force (actually I doubt Reno's appearance is acceptable but they don't seem to complain) for me it isn't. Not to mention, it just isn't my style. That's why I'm on the floor right now, crawling around like a blind centipede.

At some point, I know I will have to make the choice between being late or tieless. I mean, the day couldn't get any worse and I know that a missing article of clothing isn't the end of the world. Kinda. Actually...I don't think my logic works that way.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind a raw smell filled my nose. "Damn it, spoke too soon!" I sighed, standing up quickly.

I barely made it down the hall before a loud shrill noise met my ears, indicating my fire alarm's first orgasm of the month.

"Shut up!" I screamed at no one in particular while heading into my kitchen. It wasn't the first time that the fire alarm had annoyed me but at least this time it was only doing it when it was _supposed_ to be. In the past I'd shut it up by lodging a bullet into it. I decided to avoid that in the future after the fines started getting expensive.

The first thing that registered wasn't the thick cloud of smoke that grew from my pitiful burned breakfast like a mushroom cloud, but the severe burning in my throat and nose. Eyeing the breakfast wearily I made my first mental note of the day:

_Don't multi-task. Doesn't work for you. Only leads to disasters._

I cut the fire off while fanning away fumes with a pot holder (with little Chocobos on it!) and coughing. My breakfast couldn't be salvaged. I threw it away and decided on coffee. Coffee's good. Coffee can't burn. Technically. I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them quickly after.

I reached for the coffee in an upper cabinet and pulled it down. As soon as I did it I realized my mistake: the lid wasn't tightly shut. I winced as coffee beans rained down upon me, hitting the faux wood linoleum like shotgun shells, each one making a pounding noise against my skull. _Pow. Pow. Pow._

No...not the coffee...please...not the coffee. I needed coffee. Every single bean was lying on the floor suffering from my own stupidity. I was desperate and I really needed something to get me going today. Chewing my bottom lip I looked hard at the beans deciding on my next move. The beans looked up at me expectantly. I gazed back at their caffeine- enhanced goodness. I could just pick them up, besides no one was around and my floor was pretty clean. I'd just have to pick up another can of coffee when I had free time.

Bending down I scooped up a logical amount of beans and put them in the coffee maker, adding necessary things to it and I pushed the start button with a satisfying beep. At least something was acting how it should today. Leaving the coffee to prepare itself, I scampered into my room to finish getting dressed.

Going to work without a tie was one thing, but going to work in nothing but my bra and black pants would be worse. Or...probably not. I guess it depends on who was looking.

I pushed the door open and entered my room. Quickly, I put my shirt on and buttoned it up as carefully as possible; I didn't have time for missing button holes. The shirt was shoved into my pants and the pants were zipped and buttoned. _Almost ready, _the thought floated through my mind.

"Almost ready, but not quite." I bit my lip and grabbed my suit jacket, putting that on too. My uniform was almost complete except for my boots and tie.

My eyes fell on my boots sitting near my mirror; A grateful sigh escaped my lips. At least my boots weren't hiding from me as well. I don't think arriving at the ShinRa building barefoot would be too much of a good impression either. My mother always told me that impressions didn't stop at the first impression, though that was the one that lingered for such a damnable time. That first impression would change but it would never go away. I never usually prided myself on contradicting her theories or changing them around just to make excuses for myself, but this was one theory that proved true time and time again. In fact, it wasn't even a theory it was more of an unwritten fact.

My hair was another thing that I usually ended up wasting more time than anyone should on. It was chopped into a style I'd like to call edgy and I always tucked one side behind my ear. When it was first cut it was sleek and sophisticated, it was a long away from my long blond schoolgirl tresses, but now it could sometimes get quite temperamental. The reason I'd gotten it cut in the first place was to appear more capable and mature because in the beginning there is nothing like being not only a newbie but a female among seasoned men and a boss that acted like you didn't exist. So I cut it. Wasn't it bad enough I was blonde (such cruel stereotypes), let's not make it obvious I have a vagina and breasts too shall we?

I ran the comb through my hair and then my brush, expecting strands to start popping up, but to my surprise they didn't. I was torn between taking the time to thank the ancients or just continue on with my botched routine and get to work on time.

My thoughts were halted by the best sound in the world: the coffee maker beeping, telling me it was finished. With a lingering glance at my hair, I put the brush down and slipped into my boots before heading back down the hall for the kitchen. The aroma was unmistakable and very pleasing, just the smell of it made me almost forget the throbbing in my head. I poured myself a cup and settled down at my table. I closed my eyes and breathed in the warm smell of coffee again.

For a moment I thought that maybe just maybe this day would be normal—as normal as it can be at ShinRa—and not at all bad or unfortunate. Though, my mother _also_ used to say that if a day started off bad then it was bound to end up good. That the powers that be never gave a person more than they couldn't handle. I like to think that she was a bit wrong. So far I have stuck true to my own version of her words: If the day starts off bad it's going to get worse. Maybe I just like arguing with my mother's words of wisdom. I'm not a cynical person, nor am I a pessimist. I'm just speaking from experience here. Well...as much as experience as someone my age could possibly have.

"Maybe this day _will_ be a good day…." I glanced out of my window. The sun could be seen more than usual through the thick grey clouds that usually hovered over the city. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe it was an omen. "Hmm…." I picked up my glass; my eyes still focused on the scene outside of my window, and put it to my lips.

"Damn it! Today is not going to be any better than it usually is..." I dropped the cup; my tongue was throbbing and felt like it was on fire. _Good job at scalding your own tongue, Elena. _

The worst part wasn't that my tongue was probably going to be scarred for a few days; the worst part was that my white shirt was now brown. I stared at the stain against my otherwise pristine top. I refrained from biting my sore tongue and began unbuttoning my shirt quickly, making my way to my bedroom once again.

I drug myself into my room once again, casting a glare at my unmade bed, and ripped open the closet. I pulled an extra white blouse off of a hanger, shoving dozens of other outfits aside, and there it was: my tie.

A quote from my mother about irony popped into my head, but I pushed it away. I grabbed it off the hanger and snatched a new shirt off of a different hanger and ran out of my room. I had less than two minutes to be at work. I would have to change my shirt in my office. The _last_ thing I wanted was to believe that this day would be getting any better. It was definitely getting worse.

* * *

I was thirty minutes late. Okay, no I wasn't. I was more like fifteen minutes late but what was the difference? Late was late, and for someone like me that wasn't something that I wanted noticed. Luckily for me, no one seemed to notice—or care—that I'd entered the building. I strolled through the front entrance, pausing to sign in, and headed quickly for my office. When I reached it, I shut the door quickly and stripped. That's something I never thought I'd be doing here at ShinRa Corporation. I never would have thought that I'd be removing articles of my clothing. But this time was necessary.

I threw the ruined white shirt onto my chair and quickly put the other one on, breathing a sigh of relief that I'd been holding in since I got in my car. A few seconds later I regretted that sigh. Adding to my proven theory and my mother's, if the day starts off horrible it is going to get much _much _worse before it even _begins_ to get better. I hadn't even buttoned my shirt to the halfway point before that came true.

My door swung open, my arms flew around my exposed bra. The last thing I wanted anyone to know was that I was half naked in my office. No, actually, the last thing I wanted anyone to know was that I wore sexy underwear to work, this time it was a particularly lacy black bra that showed enough hints at skin beneath to arouse the imagination.

My face burned with embarrassment whfen my eyes met those mischievous blue eyes. I looked away, but could still feel his gaze going slowly over me. Lewd little...

"Reno...really...stop looking..."I said without hardly moving my lips and getting over my embarrassment enough to quickly button up the rest of my shirt.

"Free show, huh?" a smug smile played on his face. Reno was tall, slender, and had wild red hair and eyes that struck me as strange because sometimes when the light hit them they seemed more green than blue. Reno was also above me in rank, being that he's been a Turk much longer than me and he's really good at what he does (though from looking at him no one would believe it.). But more importantly, job stats aside, he was known to enjoy being a pain in other people's ass. Today he seemed to have chosen my ass to cause discomfort to.

"Just…leave please?" I rolled my eyes to the ceiling while shrugging my suit jacket back on.

"Why?" he didn't give me time to answer. "You know...you could use those ladies to get on Tseng's good side."

My cheeks grew hot again. I hated for him to know that he'd pinpointed my crush so easily. Was I that obvious? What did he know about Tseng's good side? I don't know why I feel like I'm a school girl again when I see our leader. Maybe it's his deep chocolate brown eyes and long raven hair. Maybe it's the sound of his voice. Maybe I'm just a pervert that can't focus on her work because she has deluded dreams of desiring people she can't have. I only intended to admire Tseng from afar. I didn't want to know how he'd react if he knew about my silly feelings toward him. Unfortunately, Reno had already figured me out. How sad.

Of course, I'm going to deny and avoid the point and accusations. If I never admit it, it'll only be under speculation.

"What do you want Reno?" I tried to give him my best glare while adjusting my stupid tie.

"You're late for a meeting; we are in the conference room..." Reno checked his watch and ran a hand through that mess he calls hair. He was the only person I knew that could successfully pull something like that off.

"I am?!" my heart seemed to skip a beat in my chest. Yes, this day was definitely getting worse wasn't it! I couldn't be late for a conference. That would make me look terrible. I was trying to prove enough without having to answer for tardiness. What would that look like? What would Tseng think?

I was just about to freak out when I noticed the slight smile twitching on Reno's lips. I instantly felt a little stupid for believing him.

"I'm not exactly lying though." He put his hands up in defense. He must could see the look on my face. "It's about to start in about five minutes."

"Well let's go then." I shot him a look, waiting for him to lead the way.

I followed him out of the room, wondering if he could impale baby mammals with the back of his head. I could just see a little kitten getting thrown into the evil mass of red that is Reno's hair…

* * *

Anyone that has seen me during a tactical meeting, board meeting, or conference could probably argue quite confidently that I was usually the most attentive and the most vocal when we were asked for input. I did this to mainly keep a good grasp on the current situation, what assignments (I jump at the chance and usually am turned down) were pending, and to make Tseng realize how good I am (yes I am tooting my own horn..what horn? I don't think I have a horn) and to make others realize "The Rookie" is something to be reckoned with. I usually am always attentive, always volunteering to take notes, and sometimes I finish Tseng's sentences for him when he trailed off. Today, no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't capable of doing any of that.

Tseng was talking but I wasn't even paying attention to anything he was saying. If he knew this he'd be annoyed. If he knew what I was thinking he'd probably be flattered. Or at least disturbed. I can accept disturbed. I usually pride myself on ignoring my crush and normally went into 'professional mode' during meetings. Today that was turning out to be impossible. Every time he looked in my direction I blushed and fiddled with things. He didn't seem to take any notice, as usual, but continued on, talking with the others. I tried to rationalize that my unsavory dream about him was part of the problem. It was the first one I ever had about him and I was feeling a little guilty and like I'd violated him without him knowing. Sorta like my own subconscious traveled a life stream of sorts and found his and then promptly raped it like nobody's business.

Just the thought of what I'd dreamt made the heat beneath my skin increase. I stared at the conference room table for a long time before something he said finally registered:

"Alright, you're dismissed. Reno, Rude, Elena—you'll be expected back in a few hours."

I stared blankly at the glass ShinRa logo on the wall. The red shape blurred into my vision like a glob of blood while I listened to my colleagues stand. Something hit me on the head. Looking up, I realized Reno was looking down at me.

"You're so sprung." He whispered 'discreetly' before joining Rude on their way out.

_No...I'm not._ I wanted to protest but I knew it was a lie.

Instead I quickly rose; I didn't want to be left alone in this room with Tseng right now. One vivid detail of my dream was that the encounter happened on a long table, similar to this one. _How uncouth._

"Elena."

I stopped in my tracks and tried to appear neutral before turning around to face him. He was picking up a stack of files off the table; his hair fell around him and into his face like a sexy blanket. _Shut up Elena._

"Sir?" I clasped my hands together, and unconsciously nibbled my bottom lip.

"Are you okay?" he pushed his hair from his face, adjusted the files.

Of course I'm okay sir, I wanted to say, I just have a crippling crush on you that you seem totally oblivious to, as well as the fact that I keep staring at you more often than anyone should. Oh yeah, and I'm a little uncomfortable right now because I had a weird sexual (desksex!) dream about you just last night. And while logically speaking, it could just be the result of the alcohol I consumed but it could also be a product of my contained feelings. Or something like that.

Instead, I simply nodded. "Yes, sir. Why?" it was nice of him to be concerned. Though he was very serious, he was also polite (I'm assuming a trait he was raised with) to a degree—though he could get irritated fast—and did sometimes take notice when his Turks were acting strangely.

Except for Reno. Strange on Reno is normal. Normal doesn't exist.

"Hmm, are you sure?" he didn't wait for me to answer, he swept from the room.

I followed. "Yes, sir. So...what are we doing today?"

We walked abreast down a mildly busy corridor. I kept my eyes focused on other things but him.

"_We_ aren't doing anything."

"What do you mean?" I imagined that he wasn't going to be accompanying us on our next assignment at least; I hope that's what it meant. If he was going to stick me in my office with paperwork again that would only be yet another reason to hate today. "We aren't going on assignment? What about following-"

"What I mean is you're not coming along." Tseng stated simply.

Crap!

"Why sir?" I'm not sick or anything. I just have a bit of a headache…" I wanted to continue protesting but I knew it'd just make me sound like the rookie I am.

'It's not that, Elena." He handed me the stack of files. "It's just that it's not necessary to send you. It's just 'field research' among other things." He sounded slightly exasperated.

"But sir-"

"Elena. Part of being a Turk—or doing any job—is doing what is asked of you no matter how small you think the task may be."

I nodded begrudgingly. I would complain more but it was pointless and I could hear the irritation creeping into his tone. He was too polite to be outright rude sometimes (_sometimes_, because it _has_ happened before) but I knew he wanted me to shut up. At least about the subject.

I hugged the files to my chest as we continued our path, accepting my fate to be confined to my office for at least three hours.

We turned a corner and two things happened: a light bulb turned on in my head and someone emerged from an elevator. As soon as the someone spotted us—Tseng at least—and got Tseng's attention, the light bulb exploded and my mind was left in darkness.

"Tseng, I was looking for you."

The someone was none other than The President of ShinRa, himself. Rufus Shinra. He's young, cold, arrogant, and obviously good looking. I didn't say anything to him as they began talking. I rarely was near him to talk to him anyway, but he generally ignored my presence regardless. I tried not to take offence to this because it's not like he's obligated to say hello to me or even acknowledge my existence. He didn't have any official business reason to talk to me, I reasoned, so why should he say anything?

I felt myself blend in with the wall nearby while I watched them talk about something. Even though Rufus Shinra wasn't even looking my way didn't mean I couldn't observe him. With cold blue eyes, golden blond hair that hung perfectly (literally) in his face, and immaculate white suits that was set off with black beneath, he was clearly handsome.

Not that I want him or anything. I have enough problems breaking my own rules like "Keep it friendly", "Look. Don't touch.", and "Just because your superiors are hot doesn't mean you're allowed to like them". I just content myself with admiring from afar.

Quickly feeling awkward just standing there with nothing to do but be ignored, I decided to leave. _They wouldn't even notice that I was gone._

With that thought in my head, I took a step forward. At that exact moment Rufus Shinra's eyes met mine. The next second every single file slipped from my grasp, scattered, and floated to the ground in a spiral.

_Great. Yet another reason to hate today. Making an ass of myself in front of not only Tseng, but Rufus Shinra too._

Wincing inwardly, I dropped to my knees. "I'm sorry..." I quickly said, all the while I could feel them both looking at me. Their eyes practically boring holes into the back of my head. My face burned with embarrassment. I pushed my hair from my eyes and started gathering the white mess in the hall as quickly as possible.

What felt like it was going to take an eternity to retrieve was disappearing faster than expected. I looked directly ahead of me with a shock: Rufus was helping me! I stared blankly for a moment; barely half of the files in were in my own hands. He moves fast.

Before I knew it, he stood up. I looked up at him from the floor, confused. A distinct cough from Tseng in the background told me to stand up too. My face was practically on fire now. My tongue got tangled between a "thank you" and another apology.

"I...thanks..."I finally mumbled. Was this a trick? The angle of death was handing me an apple and I was supposed to take it? We all know what happens to people that took the apple: they died.

"You're welcome." He replied smoothly, closing the space between us. He slipped the folder from my hand. "Don't look so surprised. I don't bite..." he replaced the remaining files seamlessly.

"I..."

He handed me the files, taking a final step closer that simply couldn't be appropriate. He slid the folder back into my arms and placed a hand on my shoulder. I tensed.

"….unless asked." He murmured softly into my ear.

I bit my lip hard, my eyes widened. He didn't linger, the transition was so smooth and fast, I couldn't be sure that it even happened.

"I'll see you later, Elena." Tseng said from somewhere nearby, behind me. Had he seen that?

"Okay, sir..."

I watched, vaguely unaware of my surroundings, as the two men entered an elevator.

"Bye..." I waved feebly while trying to hold the files in one arm.

Rufus raised an eyebrow as the silver doors began to close. "I'll see you later, Edna."

_Edna!?_ The files fell from my grasp again but didn't scatter. The last thing I heard before the doors closed was a chuckle from Rufus.

Alone now, the normalcy of my surroundings returned along with a desire to choke my boss. I snatched up the files and stormed down the hall heading for the stairwell, almost running over people as I walked. My flash of anger faded into irritated disappointment. _Edna?_ Edna was the woman at the desk on the first floor that signed in all visitors and employees. We looked _nothing_ alike!

"And here I was thinking he was actually paying me any real attention. He could have just left me on the floor if he wasn't even going to attempt to get my name right." I slammed the files on my desk. "Edna. C'mon_, Edna_?!"

I opened the files and got started on my mundane task. Who was I kidding? He didn't give a damn about who I am, much less what my name was.

* * *

Two hours into it my initial feelings about being called the wrong name (and wanting to shoot Rufus repeatedly) were nonexistent. I didn't let my mind wander and focused on my work. I didn't let myself daydream about the assignment Reno and Rude were probably on; I didn't allow my thought to linger on Tseng. I didn't let them reflect on that weird clenching feeling in my stomach that I'd gotten when Rufus invaded my personal space. All I did was concentrate on work. Work. Work.

I continued on with this thought in my mind until there was no more work too soon. I put the files away and made a mental note to drop them off to Tseng whenever he returned, then I left, heading to the gym for some much needed release and a little physical training.

Ten minutes later I entered the main entrance. I'd noticed through the glass that surrounds the entire gym that it was empty. That was just as well, because I seriously didn't want to be involved with another human right now. I get a little self-conscious when working out in front of others.

I headed for the locker room, found mine, and unlocked it. Grabbing the first thing I touched, which included, unfortunately the exercise gear I hated wearing most: little black shorts with a white side stripe and a matching sports bra. I thought about opening the locker again and finding something else. I hated feeling exposed (even if I'm hot in it. Personal opinion!) and showing skin. But I decided to wear it anyway; I didn't have time to debate with myself. Besides, it's not like anyone else is around to catch a free show.

A few moments later I emerged, throwing my towel and water bottle on a nearby bench. I headed straight for the red punching bags in the center of the area.

I got started. Paying attention to my body and not entertaining thoughts of knocking certain people out. I'm proud of my combat skills anyway, even if I didn't get to use them yet on an actual person. Fiends don't count. I punched harder. Faster. Unaware of things around me.

My heart was pumping blood so hard I could hear it throbbing in my ears, muffling the sound of my hands and feet making contact with the surface of the bag.

_I just want them to see how good I am. If someone walked by right now, would they be impressed? I'm going to _make _them notice how good I am._

The bad thing about releasing frustrations was exhaustion. I slowed down, breathing hard. I liked to 'feel the burn', because it proved I was doing something, but this was a little too much for a day like this. My headache was beginning to threaten a comeback.

I looked around for my water bottle but caught a glimpse of someone passing in front of the window. My heart jumped painfully into my throat.

Rufus Shinra was walking past; he seemed to be unaware of a glistening, half-naked woman watching him go by.

"Oh whatever..." I tried to shrug it off, but instead I let out something very close to a battle cry and started in on the punching bag, full force. I did this for a while, even after he'd left. _Even if he did see me...he probably just glanced and went on about his business. Why do I care anyway what he's up to?_

My head started to hurt again; I stopped abruptly and brushed my stringy hair from my face. Turning around I eyed the bench for my water bottle and towel. Instead, I got another surprise, I gasped breathily.

"Sir.I didn't see you come in."

Rufus Shinra was leaning against a wall, looking all calm, near the same bench where my stuff was. He was watching me. I ran a hand through my hair and hovered uncertainly in place, while trying to catch my breath gracefully.

"I hope I'm not interrupting you." He flicked his hair from his face, something I'd seen him do often, which would be seen as significantly gay on anyone else. But on him, it was just significantly Rufus.

"No..." I took a deep breath; my heart seemed to be getting faster as opposed to slower. "you're not, sir. I was…finishing up actually..." my hair swung back in my face. I pushed it back again.

_What was I going to do? I can't just stand here, besides if I don't get some water I might just dehydrate right on the floor. _I couldn't ignore that logic, and besides, I had no reason to just stand near the punching bags anymore. Gingerly, I made my way to the bench, and ultimately to Rufus. From zero to sixty my face grew very hot by the time I actually made it to him—and my supplies. I grabbed my towel and dried my face; I feel his eyes on me. I wish, for like a second, that I could hide in the fibers of my towel.

"So…sir...how...long were you...watching?" I held the towel loosely at my side, there wasn't much more use for it now. I eyed the water bottle but decided against it.

"Not long." He got off the wall. "From what I saw though..." he trailed off.

"Yes sir?" I waited anxiously for the rest of that statement. I bet he thought it was extremely lackluster.

"It was mildly impressive."

My face grew a little hotter (if that's possible!), I glanced up at him and then stared at the ground. I wasn't expecting a compliment (!) from Rufus Shinra of all people. I would have to file this away into my personal accomplishments ASAP.

For the second time today, that weird feeling crept into my stomach and wrenched it around like tightening coils. Rufus's hand slid under my chin, cupping it, and tilted my face up to his. I looked into his cold blue eyes and noticed a smirk playing on his lips. Thoughtlessly, I bit my bottom lip. _Sensory Overload…_

"Sir..um..uh.." unfortunately, I lacked anything amazing to say.

"Perhaps we'll run into each other again."

He traced my jaw in an appraising manner, almost thoughtful. My stomach clenched again tightly, my cheeks burned. I wanted so badly to look away but couldn't. I tried to think of something witty to say, but the only thing that came to mind was poodles. _POODLES!?_

"I hope so..." I finally said, my words coming out more breathy that I'd intended.

"Hmm." He released my face. "So do I. I'll see you later, Elena."

With that, he strolled off. I watched him leave, dumbfounded. It wasn't even the fact that Rufus Shinra complimented me or remembered my actual name that had me confused. When he left I touched my face where the warmth of his hand still was. A small stupid smile tugged at my lips.

_Should I count the fact that I might be developing feelings for Rufus Shinra as a bad thing or a good thing? _

"Bad..." I answered myself, not believing a word I was saying. "Definitely bad."

* * *

--

* * *

_**Hi there! I'll get to the point. I was rereading the earlier chapters of Flux and realized how much they needed to be improved. So now I'm going about improving them. I completely rewrote chapter 1 and I plan on editing chapters 2 through 5 as well. I used feedback from you my lovely readers as well as my own to fix it. I hope that you guys enjoy reading it for a second (third, fourth, fifth, sixth...) time!**_

_**Because there are a few changes (or several) I'd love to get some feedback on what you think of the edits.**_

_**Whether you're new to the story or not, I suggest you review an join the party!**_

**Special Thanks to NarcissisticRiceBall for being my encyclopedia in the beginning. You rock hard!**

**-goodwitch2008**

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	2. One of those Bad Nights

_**Goodwitch08: This is the **_**redone****_ version of this chapter. Like I stated in um..chapter 15 (I think!) I am slowly, yet surely, redoing the older chapters because they..weren't very good and they didn't really set the same scene that's being set now. They were more "fluffy" than anything else. This chapter has some new scenes put into it and the existing scenes have been edited or omitted. I think at first this chapter and chapters three and four were more or less filler chapters and I didn't really know where it was going at first so I will definitely be editing those.. I hope you guys like the redone version, I sure do. I tried to allow more explanations as well...the other one was pretty vague. Also, if you see any glaring mistakes and typos please tell me, I know they're there but I can't find them!  
_**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**_One of those bad nights_**

* * *

Sometimes Turks attend meetings that would usually pertain to just the Shinra executives: Reeve Tuesti of The Department of Urban Development, Scarlet, a blond woman that always wore red dresses that looked better suited for a club than a professional setting and was the leader of the Weapons Development Department, Heidegger who was technically my boss's boss and the head of the Department of Public Safety Maintenance. He wore a green suit that looked ready to pop off and fly around the room like a burst balloon and he wore a big hairy black beard. The other guy was a big round balding man in a brown suit named Palmer. He looked like a scared ass-kissing rat and was the head of the Department of Space Exploration.

The most important executive sat at the top of the table: Rufus Shinra, The President. The same President that I refuse to have a crush on just because he complimented me. I was already interested in someone else anyway! Right!

Tseng. Who was writing down things that were being said. A "cute" frown was on his face that made me stare.

"You're supposed to be _listening_." a voice hissed in my ear, I jumped.

Up until now I'd thought Reno was asleep beside me. His eyes had been closed and his long lanky frame had been slumped in the chair.

"I _am_." I muttered from the corner of my mouth, weary of catching anyone else's attention.

"No you're not. You're lustin'." Reno shot back.

Someone cleared their throat. My face burned; Tseng had raised his lovely dark brown eyes from his writing to glare at us. I stared at the table top, suddenly wishing that I had on a pair of sunglasses too.

Rude was sitting across from me; he was the only man I knew that could get away with wearing sunglasses indoors. When I first met him I thought he just had to be blind. That is, until I tried to poke his glasses and he simply moved out of the way. That made us instant friends in my mind. He looks intimidating with that bald head and those multiple ear-piercings but I've never felt intimidation from him. In fact, I"m sure he's secretly a big cute teddy bear on the inside.

If there is anyone I feel intimidated by, it's Tseng. Maybe that's why last week had a dream about him and me doing really unsavory things?! I'm _attracted_ to people that either intimidate me or...technically own me?

My eyes fell on Rufus Shinra again for the second time since the meeting started. He's obviously very good-looking and equally arrogant. Which is hot. How can arrogance be hot when it usually pisses me off? Maybe it's not arrogance but merely extreme self-confidence. Yes. That's my logic and I'm sticking to it.

"Kya hahahaha!"

Several people at the table visibly winced at Scarlet's laugh. Reno warned me before that it was a laugh that could cause severe hemorrhaging and the urge to commit all kinds of violent acts on the person laughing. He was right.

Either way, I quickly tore my eyes away from Rufus and tried to focus on what the others were saying. I caught the word 'reactor' and knew they were talking about the Mako Reactors.

_Listen, Elena, listen! What will they think if you're dazed and not listening?!_

"...are we going to rebuild the area beneath sector seven?" Reeve, a handsome man with a black goatee (no I don't want him too!) and long black hair asked during the lull after Scarlet's ear bursting laugh.

"Not anytime soon." Rufus answered.

"More funding for the space exploration department." Palmer felt this was yet again a good time to throw out that subliminal messaging. Rufus looked at him like he was about to say something but left it alone. I'm sure the other man has just dodged a bullet. I don't' know about them but I know I was tired of hearing him say it. Someone must have stole Palmer's backbone and ate it or used it as a jump rope or for a good game of Tug-of-War.

The meeting went on as if Palmer hadn't even opened his "fat ass mouth" as Reno had said twice. My mind inevitably wandered once again. First it went to what I needed to grab from the store, including some coffee and ice cream. I blinked, and looked around the conference room. There was nothing special about it. It was big and corporate. The red ShinRa Power Electric Company logo was mounted on the wall in front of me over Rude's head.

My eyes fell on the black mug in front of me, also bearing the ShinRa logo. _ What's in it?_ I peered closely into the dark liquid into my brown eyes reflected on the surface. Maybe it's coffee? Or water? Hopefully coffee, it was always a good time for coffee even if it is in the middle of the afternoon. Should I drink it?

Nibbling my bottom lip, a nervous habit I adopted who knows when, I stared into the unknown cup. If its cofee I just hope it's not hot. I have first degree burns from that crap! I looked around, confirming that no one was paying attention to me—something that's pretty offensive since I'm not ignore-worthy but I know the world isn't revolving around me--. I brought the cup to my lips, parted them slightly, and allowed liquid in. Water.

_I wonder what Rufus is doing right now._ The thought floated into my mind and my gaze landed on him the rim of my cup. He was sitting back with his hands—wearing those black fingerless gloves—together like a teepee, watching the conversation continue on. He only offered input when there was something worth talking about. He idly pushed his perfect hair from his eyes and let it fall back into place.

_He probably just talked to me because he happened to see me. I can't like..like my boss. He doesn't even care who I am. Which sucks...but that's how it should be!_

H_is blue_ eyes suddenly met mine. I quickly looked away, face burning. I can't believe he just caught me staring at him! Hopefully, he'll just wave it off. He's probably used to people—especially women—checking him out. But I wasn't checking him out! Honest! Not once did I think that he looked really hot sitting right there, with that look on his face!

I closed my eyes, sipping more water. I couldn't help but feel like everyone knew I was just looking at our boss like I wanted to have him for dinner!

_Maybe he just waved my staring off and went back to participating in the discussion_. I put my cup down and looked at him again.

Our eyes met dead on. He's watching me! I wanted to look away soo bad but his gaze held mine. Excuses and random thoughts rushed through my mind. _Look away! Look away!_

Finally, he looked away smoothly, commented on something that Heidegger had said. He didn't seem the least bit phased by me. Grr.

Without thinking, I grabbed my cup again and sipped more water. Being caught in the act of blatantly staring at Shinra caught me by surprise, causing me to swallow an unhealthy amount of water way too fast. I looked away quickly, my eyes falling instead on Reno, who was sitting diagonally to me,and cursing at someone about something. I couldn't see Reno though, because my eyes were watering and my throat burning. What the hell was in that water?

_Please, don't let me cough, don't make me cough. _

I held it in as it bubbled and burned in my chest, begging to be let out. My throat itched as my mind raced to find a distraction that didn't happen to have blond hair. I held my lips together and tried to swallow down the feeling, but that just made it worse.

A small cough rattled my irritated throat. Then it got louder and louder and finally uncontrollable. I covered my mouth, trying to muffle the gagging/coughing that filled the room.

When I stopped, everyone's eyes were on me. Gosh..how embarrassing.

"I'm sorry.." a final cough set my face on fire.

"..." Rude shook his head.

A dark haired woman looked at me, her eyebrows raied. She blinked, and went back to writing—or drawing something.

Reno returned to debating something with Tseng about something I should have been listening to. Everyone else resumed talking/listening as if the random rookie Turk hadn't just started coughing like she had a terminal disease.

Except for Rufus. He was watching me, a smirk playing on his lips. I looked away, even more self-conscious than I'd been before, especially since I could still feel his gaze burning into the side of my face. He's making it really hard to not allow myself to enjoy a delusion or to about the allged attention he's giving me! What's up with that? Why is he looking at me? Maybe I'm thinking too far into it. I can't help it that Every time someone of the opposite sex looks at me I start speculating that they might just be interested in me!

_Just pay attention Elena!_ I straightened my posture and widened my eyes to ensure that I paid attention. The last thing I wanted was for people to think that I had the attention span of a child. I'm not going to let my over-active imagination get the best of me.

* * *

"Slow down, Reno."

"Speed up, Elena." the red-head countered, walking even faster on purpose.

"..." Rude didn't take up for me, nor did he linger behind with me. He easily kept up with his partner's steps.

It's hard enough keeping up with someone taller than me but I usually did a great job at it. The only reason I am falling behind is because I was thinking about Rufus Shinra. The meeting had ended about ten minutes ago and now I was following the guys to the lounge. I had no real reason to follow them but I didn't want to be alone either, wandering like an aimless Chocobo. I would have stayed with Tseng but he'd stopped to speak with Rufus (oh my!) and I felt awkward being the only other person left in the room. I also didn't want to fall victim to certain gazes that may or may not make me weak in the knees.

"...you suck Reno!" I wanted to yell as they disappeared around a corner, leaving me alone to go the distance. Instead I simply slowed down, I'd reach them eventually, right?

Wen I did reach the corner they'd turned, all I came across was an empty hallway. They left me! Sometimes I'd like to believe they only did this to pick at me in that annoying brother/sister way. Unfortunately, I already have had enough of sibling rivalry with my own actual sister. I didn't need surrogate brothers doing it too. Or maybe Reno just enjoyed making me suffer like the flaming sonova bitch he--

"Excuse me, Elena right?"

The woman from the meeting was coming towards me down the hall.

"Yeah, that's me." I met her halfway. She looked a bit worried about something. "Hi ..um.."

"Sara." she offered.

Oh yeah...that Sara. I'd been chatting with her earlier before the meeting started. Unfortunately, I'm not good at remembering names without reinforcement sometimes. Many times I have recognized someone in a store and wanted to remind them of my existence but couldn't remember their name and ended up avoiding them unless they spoke to me first.

"Sara. The one from the Weapons Department." I suggested, smiling slightly.

"Yes. Um..you were in the meeting right?" she ran a hand through long black hair.

I nodded.

"Can you do me a favor?" her composure was calm enough but her almond colored eyes danced with anxiousness. I've so bee n there before.

"Sure." I don't even know what the favor is but I have no intention of saying now. At least this will give me something to do. It'll be nice having someone depend on me at least once.

"Great." I left some very important diagrams and notes in the conference room on the table where I was sitting. Could you--"

"I'll be happy to get them for you." I nodded

"Thank you." she blinked, Probably surprised at how fast I agreed. "I'll be down at Weapon's Development...I have to get back. Scarlet doesn't know I left..."

"Alright."

"Thank you." and she left.

I smiled to myself, turning back the way I'd come. It's nice to be useful to someone.

Returning to the conference room, I realized it wasn't empty, but then it was too late. I was already half way inside. I hovered uncertainly near the entrance. Rufus Shinra's back as turned and he was on a cellphone from what I could tell. He was near the large window that looked out into the hall. _Should I go in? I can't just stand here!_

"So, Elena." he snapped the phone closed, surely cutting off whomever that was talking. "Are you going to simply hover there?"

"Um..no sir, sorry." I came completely into the room, wondering if he has eyes at the back of his head. "I am...um..I just...um.." I nibbled my bottom lip and gestured hopelessly. "I came to get something someone left here." The diagrams felt so far away from where I was standing.

"Really."

"Yes...so..I'll be out of your way sir.." I pushed myself forward, heading across the floor, focusing on the stack of papers. Crap! I should have just let her do this herself. What if..what if...

"It's nice to see you again."

All function ceased at those words. I'd barely even reached the table.

"...sir. Thank you." my heart throttled my chest." "It's nice too see you too sir." somehow I managed to grab the diagrams and hugged them to my chest. "I have to get back now..um...yeah..have a nice day sir."

I moved. My ankle hit a chair leg. My face hit the floor. Documents sprawled out of my hands and I could hear them land far way.

"Oh ..gods.." I couldn't move. Not because of the pain in my floor or face. "How embarrassing. " my lips were unintentionally making out with the carpet. Maybe if iI close my eyes really tight I'll disappear inch by inch. First my legs, then my torso,...arms...shoulders...neck...the hardest part will be my eyes...just ...a..little...more!

The feeling of a hand on my back brought me speeding back into existence. It's not so much that I just fell..but it was in front of Rufus Shinra, no less!

"You seem to have had an accident." his voice was very close to my ear.

Warmth spread across my cheeks in spite of myself. _ How can you be blushing at a time like this?!_

"I'm sorry, sir. I..I'm so clumsy..that's not a good thing I know. I mean what kind of Turk is clumsy? I bet Tseng has never tripped over his own feet. I wouldn't have but you..make me nervous--"

I did not just say that!

"Do I?" he chuckled lowly.

Somehow I nodded. Not happening! Maybe if I close my eyes then I'll disappear and he'll forget this happened.

"Elena..."

My face grew hot. The way my name sounded rolling off his toungue couldn't possibly be descent!

"...if i told you I was sorry for making you nervious I would be lying."

Wrapping my head around that statement was imposible. My heart spasmed beneath me. "Sir...I have..to dleiver something..."

I felt him leave my side. What to do now?

Before I could answer myself, i felt warmth cover one of my hands and I was pulled to my feet.

_Say thank you or something woman! _That little voice hissed in my mind like a snake.

"I um..you..um..sir..thank--" my eyes snapped close. _Regroup, regroup! Speak normally like you have a bit of sense so he won't think he's flustering you even thouh he really is!_

"Elena."

I stared at my feet;eyes closed. "Sir?"

"Open your eyes and look up at me."

Half of me wanted to obey but the other half just had to ask:

"Is...is that an order sir?" my eyelids twitcehd, almost beggintg to open.

"Should it be?" he asked, sounding closer than I hope he was.

"Is..that a trick question, sir?"

Suddenly, every muscle in my body tensed. Every strand of hair on the right side of my head shifted as if wind floated through them but instead it was his fingers.

"Elena.." my name sounded so...so..so..._sexual_ coming from him as he spoke. His tone low and mildly deeper. _Stop liking it!!_

"S-sir!" inwardly I winced at the sound of my voice. High! Shaky! _Weak!_

"We can play this game for as long as you wish. I don' have anywhere to be, fast."

Instantly, I bit my lip. Mostly for stability. "Of course...not sir. You're the President, time starts and stops when you command."

_How much extreme ass-kissing can a person do in a day before it becomes a sport?!_

He chuckled ironically. Deliberately.

"Not yet."

"Sir."

Is this actually happening to me or will I wake up again from yet another lewd dream with a weird throbbing feeling in bad places? Gah! No no nononononononono! I'll just...just open my eyes and go about my business to Sara's office. Yeah..

"Elena.."

Gah! Will he stop staying my name like that and get his Presidential hand out f my hair? If someone saw this they'd think all sorts of thing! Like breaking protocol and all sorts of Rules!! If he doesn't stop I might just have the audacity to like it..

"Sir."

"I've told you before.." the feeling of his lips brushing my ear set off alarms that rattled my senses and sent a shocking tremor through my body.

_Why why why?!_

"Sir?"

"...I don't bite."

"Unless...unless asked." my eyes opened slowly but I didn't look at him.

"Exactly. Or provoked."

"P-provoked?"

He chuckled again. "Minor details."

"Details..." I nodded, not really sure what I was agreeing with. Taking a breath to steady my beating heart, I lifted my gaze to meet his.

His eyes met mine. Warmth spread across my face.

"Now was that so hard?" he crossed his arms, a smirk played on his lips.

"No..no sir." I dropped my gaze again. "I have to..have to go..now. A colleague-sorta-needs me so..yeah. Sir..have a nice day and a stress free one as well."

"You too, Elena"

"Sir."

In a blur of grabbing sketches I rushed from the room, working to push thoughts from my mind. I have better things to do than be hit on—allegedly--by Rufus Shinra right? Even if i like being hit on ?!

* * *

"So, can you tell me about your sketches, Sara, or are they super-duper top secret?" my voice echoed.

"Actually." she smiled softly. "If it were top secret..you would be one of the few that knew about it, giving that fact that you're a Turk."

"True.." such as the potential coolness of being a Turk—or even for working for Shinra (in the actually important areas)-is seeing things one wouldn't usually see like a testing facility in the Weapons Department.

The walls are high, white, and lined with two large windows on both sides facing hallways. The walls are also riddled with bullet holes, burns, and a few spots that looked like ill-disguised blood. Who's blood? I'd rather not find out, and it's not like it matters. The flooring was white as well but wasn't padded like a cell. In the dead center of the room was a long silver table, on it was only one object, which Sara put away soon after I arrived.

"So can I see it?" I stuffed my hands in my pockets. I always get a little uncomfortable around people I've only met for a few minutes. And if that wasn't enough, her appearance was so perfect that it was intimidating—in a totally different way that what The President's is.

She's tall, slim, well dressed, and color coordinated in a gray dress suit, boots with slender unforgivable heels, and a black lab coat. Her hair fell long and black/brown down her back and her skin is a golden brown shade. Her face was so flawless that even though it looked like no-make up it just _had _to be.

Perfection _is _pretty intimidating._ Rufus! Gah!_

The intimidating feel faded quickly once her deep brown eyes showed warmth. Definitely something you don't see everyday at ShinRa. There was something weird about her..not saying because I know but because past experience demands it. Sara Lorcan just has to have a problem. Otherwise I'm throwing in the towel and calling life unfair and then sitting in on my couch with chocolate and romance movies and becoming a female stereotype that will set all women back one hundred years even more than I did the day I met Tseng.

"So yeah, the sketches looked so interesting." I nibbled my bottom lip. _Damn you nervous habit!_ "It's okay if you're not allowed to show me. I know I have a big mouth and I just want to live down that whole reputation with the whole telling Cloud and his friends where we were going and who we were following. I mean c'mon haven't I gotten sentenced to enough heartache? Having Tseng tell me that I talk to much in front of the enemy and Rude was embarrassing enough. I promise I won't tell anyone--"

"Elena right?"

I bit my lip harder, shutting myself up. Her hand landed on my shoulder, she gave it a light squeeze. I nodded, suddenly hoping I've been calling her the right name.

"Yeah."

"Don't be so nervous, I am not even worth it." her laugh was soft. "I'll be happy to show you what I was sketching during the meeting."

"Oh thank you."

She left briefly and returned with two identical silver gun looking things with edges that looked like crosses.

"I know I should have been paying closer attention but the meeting really didn't pertain to me.." she placed them gently down as if they were delicate, crumbling books and not a weapon. "I only came along because Scarlet wanted me to take notes. But..I started sketching a new diagram.."

A wry grin formed at the corners of her mouth. A light of understanding suddenly washed over me.

"Ahh! I get it." I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet. "You really enjoy your work too?"

A nod came from her. "And I just love technology."

"Me too.. I can't wait for new assignments to prove myself."

"Ah." she grabbed a char, ticked something off. "Make sure your actions aren't for personal glory..even if praise is great."

I bit my lip again. "It's not just that."

She nodded again. "I know, just know that compliments are harder to come by than compliments around here."

Quietly, I tried to see that.

"If you get no response, take that as something they didn't dislike."

She crossed the room smoothly and placed one of the weapons in my hand. It was heavier than it looked.

Sara led me into the area where they tested new weaponry. This was one of the few areas that had no windows what so ever. It was practically dead when we got there giving what time it was, most people were leaving.

"So what are you gonna show me?" I shoved my hands in my pockets to resist prodding something or trying out a new rifle I'd seen on the wall.

"Well...I've been developing something really neat, and I haven't had anyone try it out yet. Its mostly for Turks...it might be a stupid idea but.." she trailed off running her fingers over the one she'd given me. At first I thought it was a gun, but something told me it wasn't. I looked at her, puzzled.

She chuckled at my confusion. "That's exactly how Scarlet looked at me too.." she handed me the weapon.

"Scarlet..."

"Scarlet isn't that bad." she took the weapon from me. "It has no name, but I think I made it with safety in mind. Say if a person ever got thrown off a building or something and happened to have colleagues below.." she shrugged, she seemed unsure of her own invention.

"Well..can I see how it works?" little jolts of excitement attacked me. I can't help it if I like trying out stuff!

"Um sure.. well yeah. It works with a similar device, the two have to link together for it to have any real use." she picked up the identical one and led me further into the room.

"So?"

"You stay right there, I'm going to go down this way.." she walked away from me for about a few minutes, putting us a good distance away from each other. For a wild moment I thought she was going to shoot at me and see if I could dodge in an insane game of shoot-the-Turk.

"What now?" I glanced at my watch, _that store would be closing in two hours..._

"Pull the trigger when I count to three." she called out to me, holding up her weapon like a person would hold a gun. I mirrored her movement.

"One." her voice was steady but I could just tell she was as interested in the result as I am. "Two.."

I adjusted my stance and bent my fingers back ready to pull the trigger.

"Three."

Simultaneously two nets shoot out of each weapon ,with surprising force that would have knocked some civilian off their feet, and hooked together.

Definitely not what I expected.

"Neat." I stared at the net suspended a few inches off the ground. "Can it only work with two at a time?"  
"Unfortunately yes...I still have kinks to work out." she sighed. "And I haven't thought of a way for it to retract completely yet...but hey it could come in handy in the long run."

I didn't see this thing coming in handy anytime soon..that's for sure. There were too many loop holes and way too many possibilities, the weapon was too dependent. Besides...when would anyone be in a situation like that? What if no colleagues were there or what if there was only one colleague?

"Elena?" Sara had retracted hers and was coming toward me. "Do you have anything planned for tonight?" she took the other one from me.

"Um.." I hesitated. "No? Not really...I usually just go straight home after work, unless Reno and Rude invite me out to do stuff. I guess they like to bring me along, usually I end up being a victim to one of Reno's pranks or antics. He's--" I clamped down on my bottom lip. _Stop talking so much!_

Sara smiled. "Reno? He's the red haired Turk right? Always with the silent one?"

I nodded. Always was an understatement. "So yeah..where are we going?"

"To a bar?"

"Oh...alright..."

Maybe I should have told her no...two hangovers in a week doesn't seem like much fun. Maybe..this time will be different since Reno and Rude won't be involved.

I have never went anywhere with anyone that works at ShinRa other than Reno, Rude, and rare occasions, Tseng. So this was a new experience for me, for once it would just be me and some other young women going on on the town on a work night like ever other irresponsible adult in the world.

Sara might be a mildly quiet person but her friend was no where near it. Between bouncing in a weird away and her fast talking..I fond myself wondering why quieter people—like Rude—befriend talkative people—like Reno. Though, he's more of a "flaming psycho" in the most loving sense of the word. Maybe it's just for balance?

I wasn't able to mull about it long before Chaminade talked again. I nestled deeper into the leather back seat of Chaminade Daisy's car and stared out of the window. Buildings, billboards, cars, lights, and people darted past my vision and not a single tree. Not even those fake city ones by my apartment building. I have no clue where iI"m going but I'm excited to experience my first girl's night out since I became legal this year. Previous incidents involving alcohol aren't allowed to be disclosed.

"...so yeah anyway...I was born originally in Wutai where my father is from but I was raised in Costa Del Sol—where my mom is from...and now I'm a secretary. I have only been working at ShinRa for about two weeks. Have no clue what happened to late President ShinRa's secretary _but I plan to find out everything _"

"How?" Sara finally said her first word since introducing Chaminade to me.

Bounce. Shrug. Weird laugh. Bounce.

"My logic is that secretaries learn everything. Do you know that I was chosen because all the other three people ran away during the interrogation part? I just looked that tall red-haired guy--"

_Tall? Red hair?_

"--with the daring and weird blue eye in the face and didn't flinch. Even when his partner in the sunglasses was all '...' with me. Didn't flinch one bit.

No doubt about it. Reno. So that's what he came back manically laughing about a few weeks ago. Who's secretary I wonder? His? That wouldn't make much sense since we only have one assistant-person-thingie.

"Would you believe that I got hired? I think the guy's a Turk. He was dressed—however sloppily—just like you Elyssia."

"IT'S _ELENA!_!"

"Whoa, hah. Okay."

The jolt of irritation left faster than it came, I sank deeper into the seat. Gah..what's with people messing up the name Elena? And especially with that name? Of all names? How does someone even get Elyssia out of Elena?! Grawr!

"Elena are you okay?"

Sara's quiet question made me look up. She was peering at me over the front passenger seat.

"Whuh? Yeeeeah, course I am." I shrugged. Am I okay? Being technically thrown into horny first might just be taking it's toll on my mental stability.

I waited for a response that didn't come, so I leaned back into the seat and watched buildings go by and change as we left another sector and entered a totally different one. I sat up as we pulled to a stop.

"Here we are! There's this bar I just love to pieces..." Daisy looked back at me with a smile. "I hope you don't mind."

I shrugged, I really didn't. Bars, regardless of the type or status had only one objective in mind. Get the customers drunk before they realize they're wasting money on alcohol instead of paying that bill or buying a new outfit. The bar that she just loves to pieces must have been loved far too much by her because that's exactly what it looked like: _pieces_. This was even worse than the hell holes Reno drug us to.

Sighing I removed myself from the car and stared at it.

"This hole?" I almost said, biting my bottom lip before I could, my eyes said it all though.

"Its not as bad as it looks on the inside." Sara nudged me along, taking it upon herself to slip her hand around mine and pull me toward the building.

The bar was called _The Floating Dick_ and I didn't want to know why. It was a two story, the building above it being a motel. The building looked abandoned and seemed to be pulled out of a muggers magazine or something. The door was dingy and barely closed, hanging off its hinges. It had no windows and its sign was lopsided. _Hell am I glad I brought my gun along. _

"Why does she like this place?"I mutter to Sara, eying the secretary who was walking briskly ahead of us considering her shorter, stockier size.

Sara smiled brightly at me under the dim solitary street light. "I dunno, I usually pick the places, but this time I promised she could."

"Oh."

Saying nothing else, I followed the two inside. The smell of alcohol and ...cedar..met my nose first when the doors open. I realized that the place looks much better on the inside than what the outside would lead people to believe. The bar was relatively small and intimate, two men sat at the bar nursing drinks and another was sitting at one of the five round tables scattered throughout the room with his face down on the table singing softly.

"My woman don't want me no more.." he barely lifted his head to get another drink in. "She say she needed her time..."

"To clear her mind..." Chaminade burst into a more lively rendition of the song the man was singing. He looked at her with watery bloodshot eyes and frowned. Patting him on his head she pushed his drink out of his reach. "meanwhile I'm losing mine..." she continued to sing, trailing off and leaving the man glaring at her.

"Chaminade.." Sara chuckled, whispering a hasty apology to the man before he released his drunken rage on one of us. Sara paused to speak to the bartender while I continued to follow the secretary.

She found us a table nestled in a corner far from the door. I hadn't sat down good enough before she started in on me.

"So you're a Turk huh? What's that like? I was going to try and be one, but I'm 'fat' so...nah..no big boned Turks and besides..I would want a job that I can quit without consequences. I mean look at you, you're scrawny, that's what they like..fast agile people. Powerful people, not someone like me. I'd slow you all down. Not to mention they'd rather have somebody good to look at huh...all the Turks are good looking. I've only been here a week and Reno, that's the red head's name right? He hasn't hit on me at all. I hear he usually does that.."

"Yeah I'm a Turk..." I blinked. What is her problem anyway? The more I listened to her questions, and answered them, the more I realized how she seemed to be radiating a strange energy. Far too chipper, I feel sorry for whomever she files papers for. I mean...I like chipper. Chipper is fine, fun, and fresh, but this chipper was like ..._weird_.

Luckily, I have a hidden skill called "drowning out people." While she continued to talk about the bar and herself once again, I focused on her appearance instead. Chaminade's hair was raven black , shoulder lenght, and tucked behind her ears revealing two gold hoop earrings. Her face was round and her skin the color of vanilla pudding in a sense and freckles lightly brushed her nose. Beneath her mascara held dark green eyes that kept darting around the room as if she was expecting something or merely looking around. Her bust was definitely on display in a low cut black blouse with several buttons undone.

" Are you listening? I know I'm talking a lot but you have to deal with it, I can't ever talk when I'm at work because he ignores me and simply gives orders. I mean dang, the only thing I ever get to say is 'sir' or 'how many' or 'when' "

"Uh.."

"Chewing your ear off yet?" salvation in the name of Sara joined us again, holding three glasses of brown substances in her hand. She sat them down in front of us and settled into the only chair left.

I started in on my beer as soon as she handed it to me, silently sipping on it while listening to the two of them talk. Chaminade doing most of the talking that is. My thoughts wandered to little things and my eyes strayed around the bar and out of the only window until something worth listening to caught my attention.

"...since I am The President's secretary and all.."

"You're Rufus Shinra's slave? I mean ..secretary?!." I blurted, forcing down another gulp of alcohol. It's too early in the night to blame a loose tongue on being under the influence.

"I'm not his slave, I'm his _secretary_." Chaminade's entire demeanor changed as if she took insult to being called a slave. Her voice lost its annoying preppy quality and her eyes lost some of its brightness.

"Well how is it?" I prompted her, finally a subject I could get into.

"Well how is it being his bodyguard?" she countered my question, a small challenging smirk playing on her lips.

"Oh Chaminade.." Sara laughed softly working on her second glass of beer, she put her hand on mine warmly. "She likes to argue points with people.." she whispered loud enough for Chaminade to hear.

Smiling slightly, I rolled my eyes and looked at Chaminade, removing my hands from Sara's as well.

"Well?" Chaminade leaned back in her seat and stared at me unblinkingly.

"I'm not just a bodyguard." I chewed my bottom lip. "Turks do much more than that.."I trailed off, ready to go into a whole explanation but stopped myself. It wasn't her business what I did..or could do..or ..ah whatever. It's in my job description somewhere.

"Oh well." Chaminade's chipper side was back, she hopped slightly in her seat and downed her fifth glass of beer. "Being his secretary is fine...he hardly ever says anything to me that isn't an order and he's a bit cold. But that's okay because he's hot."

Sara snorted and downed another drink. "He's okay I guess." she shrugged.

S_he guesses? She GUESSES?! He is hot..what is she a lesbian or something? How can you say Rufus S-_

What am I doing? Why am I ranting and raving about him? Rufus is Rufus okay..he has no adjectives. I can't use adjectives for him. Its not right..its not normal. It's naughty, lewd, and totally unprofessional.

"He and the dark haired turk must be real close.." Chaminade's voice dropped in a tone that suggested scandal. Did I really want to hear this?

"Tseng." I supplied her with a name. It feels nice to be the one telling someone about someone at ShinRa instead of the other way around. Totally un-Rookie of me!

"Think they're fucking?"

Once again liquid took a vengeance upon me. Coughing and hacking almost uncontrollably until Sara patted me softly twice on the back.

"Are they?" Chaminade prodded, her eyes wide with interest.

"Of course not!" I gasped, my throat felt inflamed.

"What's wrong with that?" Sara shrugged and rubbed my back comfortingly. It was a little weird but I left it alone. I think the buzz of alcohol is starting to make me paranoid...

"Nothing, Sara, I'm just saying. That'd be hot..then again...he asked me a weird question today." she frowned with thought as if she was remembering the incident.

"Oh?" I pretended not to have much interest. Which of course I do! I mean..no..I don't. Rufus is simply Rufus. Which isn't simple at all.

"Like?" Sara was working on her sixth glass, Chaminade on her tenth.

I was still nursing my third, the hangover from this morning warning me of its return if I drunk too much.

Chaminade ran a hand through her layered hair. "Well...he told me to order flowers, I asked for who, and he just went in his office without answering. So yeah..I don't even know what flowers he wants me to order...so I decided on roses.."

"Every woman doesn't like roses." the thought floated across my mind and the words came out before I could stop them.

_Roses? For who? Flowers for who? I can't see him with anyone...is it that whore? Is it Scarlet? I'm sure Rufus...has..well...better taste than that. A homegrown natural beauty..with a nice blond haircut.._

"Then what should I get?" Chaminade downed another drink and slammed it down on the table. Half of me expected her to burp after that.

" If you get roses and he didn't want roses he might kill you." I shrugged slyly.

Sara raised an eyebrow. "Elena that's so not true.."

"Oh sure it is."I shrugged nonchalantly, ignoring Sara's stare. "he has such a horrible temper, you know the type. He's been given everything in his life without so much as a hassle. I mean look at how he became President so easy after our friendly neighborhood psychotic angel used his father as a pin cushion. You think he was sad? Nope. So just imagine what he'll do to you if you happen to pick out the wrong flowers? He'll probably stab you with those thorns on the roses and then throw you out of the window." I shrugged again at the end of my speech and sipped drank the rest of my third glass and reached for a fourth.

Vaguely I wonder what Rufus would think if he heard what I just said. Hey! It's not like it's...totally untrue or anything.

Chaminade looked horrified. I smiled smugly and downed that glass too.

"Seriously though..I'm just kidding."

She sighed with relief.

"He probably won't stab you since he doesn't like getting his hands dirty...I mean come on, I doubt the President wants to bloody up his white clothes with the blood of his secretary, so he'd probably just.." I trailed off, loving how she hung on to the suspense while I downed another glass. I'd lost count on how much I'd drank. "...he'd probably just hire one of us to do it. See how dark our suits are?" I prodded my ID tag. "blood isn't very obvious on them...see Chaminade..that's all in the job description." I laughed and downed yet another glass.

"I think you've had enough..." Sara muttered.

"You're probably right. I hope the dirty bitch that gets those impersonal flowers kills herself. Maybe when she pisses him off he'll ask one of us—hopefully me since I haven't gotten to do much yet—to dispose of her.. I will have the bullet ready..." I scoffed and drank another one.

Chaminade cocked her head to the side, eyes wide. "He'd kill me if I got the wrong flowers?!" she barely kept her voice as a whisper.

"Oh sure he would...come on now" I wagged my almost empty glass in her face. "You're a nobody like the rest of us, so you're disposable. If I were you...to ensure your life is a little longer..." I leaned forward.

She leaned back in her seat, her eyes wide.

"Elena will you quit it.." Sara's voice was a little slurred, or was it mine?

"To ensure your life is a little longer though.." I took her beer from her hand and drank that too, a short unamused laugh bursting out of me. "I'd suggest ordering every type of flower possible from every single shop. I'm sure they won't mind the orders, since Rufus Shinra owns everyone." I looked over at Sara. "Am I right or am I wrong Sara?! Kya ha ha!" I slammed my hand on the desk and laughed like a crazy person..or like Scarlet that is. That was what scared the hell out of me the most.

"Elena...think that's enough?" Sara blinked.

"Every flower possible, you hear me honey? Get every fucking flower you can think of.." I grabbed pulled her toward me with brute force causing the table to scrape. I was not in control of myself, but who's to say I wasn't? "Because he only expects the best okay?" my voice dripped with sarcasm, I wasn't used to hearing myself talk like this.

Chaminade nodded, her eyes wide from the crazy Turk grabbing on her like a madwoman. I let her go and burst into a fit of giggles...

"Woo! Should have seen your face!!"

* * *

"I'm soooooo not drunk!! WooooWEEEEHAHAHA You're pweetty! Hahhaha lalala""

Patience guided me up steps to my apartment. I leaned against the door, humming something, while she bent down to drop the cute sparkling door opening thingies that I dropped.

Then I was face down on my bed.

* * *

--

* * *

**_Goodwitch2008: Ahh yes, the second redone chapter in the set. I plan on improving/completely redoing chapters 3-9 as well. Three is coming up next. Rewriting them is such a breeze actually..I don't even know why these weren't the first drafts in the first place! What did you guys think about the newly added scene (for those that are already readers..if you are new..ignore that question) ? I'm trying to give more interactions (and sexual harassments..kidding..kidding...) to make things flow a little better in the beginning. Tell me what you think in a review? Thanks!_**

**_Your happy penguin pal,_**

**_GW08_**

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	3. Just Breakfast

* * *

**Chapter 3**

_**Just Breakfast**_

_**

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**_

_A bird is chirping outside. Why is there a bird chirping outside? Why doe s my body feel like I'm not attached to it? Am I dead? I hope not. That would suck because then I couldn't ..do stuff. No..nope..my toes are moving. Why is that bird singing outside so loud? What is going on outside? Have an entire army of winged creatures decided to harass me today? What's that glare in my face? Someone needs to cut off the lights seriously. Wait....I have somewhere to be..I have to get up._

"Oh...no......" I groaned and raised a sluggish hand over my burning eyelids. This isn't a good morning. Gah...and how did I manage to leave the blinds open. What time is it anyway? I wish I could stay right here in the snuggly warmth of my sheets but I know I can't. I forced myself onto my side. My temples throbbed threateningly, raising their drumsticks over the instrument called My Brain. Sun light—however dim—blasted through my fingers and painted the inside of my lids red. I know I have to get up but I don't want to. My body feels like lead and my neck is stiff;but most importantly, if I move an inch I'm going to have a drumbeat going on in my skull like nobody's business.

"I have to get up..." somehow I manage to roll onto my back, keeping my eyes closed tight. Gah..

_A bar..._

_Two women....._

_Too many weird drinks...._

_Laughing—threatening-shaking......_

I groaned. Rufus's secretary got man handled by me! What is she going to tell him?

Suddenly, a loud rhythmic noise rattled my skull. My eyes snapped to the alarm clock on my beside table. "Gah..." I stretched all the way to my toes, covered my ears, and then curled up into a tight ball until my stomach pressed against my chest. Now I_ have_ to get up. Darn alarm clock! Big stupid alarm clock! The first time it actually goes off at the time I set is the only time I'd rather not be hearing it!

The sheets crumpled to the floor softly. My knees buckled as soon as I tried to support myself. The room slanted under me, drums pounded in my head and my stomach slanted along with the floor. Running for the bathroom, I crashed into walls, potted plants, and doors as sick began pooling in my throat. I shoved open the bathroom door and dropped to my knees, expelling all the contents in my stomach into the toilet bowl. Every time I thought the horrible and slightly painful retching had stopped, it started up again until my stomach contracted from its supreme emptiness. Exhausted, I stared into the toilet bowl at the mass of vomit, swimming around clinging to its own disgusting filth, little chunks of yesterday's lunch was mingled with the majority of brown and orange liquid. I blanched at the sight, preparing myself for more awkward muscle spasms that came with the art of throwing up, but my stomach was empty so I couldn't throw up anymore. _Weird how disgusting it might be but it is also pretty neat..the way it only clings to itself.._

I tore my eyes from the toilet and reached the handle somehow. Shakily, I brought myself to my feet and opened the medicine cabinet. There was only one capsule left in the bottle.

Staring at it at it and chewed the inside of my cheek. Will this be enough to actually function normally?. It stared back at me with it's red and whiteness, promising that it would work just fine. Sighing, I dropped it into my hand...

And then the little capsule slipped between my fingers and fell directly into the toilet with a little _plop_.

"Not cool..." I threw the empty bottle in the trash and tried to focus on getting dressed.

Somehow I managed to grab a fresh one and made it back to the bathroom in a daze. Then the weirdest thought popped in my head. I wonder if Rufus is up right now, I bet his mornings are much better. What is his routine? How does he look when he's asleep? Better yet, does he sleep? Does he secretly have a stuffed animal that he sleeps with when it's late at night and his thoughts get distorted from the lack of rest? Hehe..or is that just me?

I peeled off my bra and underwear and stepped into the shower, turning the faucet on high.

"Hm...he probably has a ...AHHHHHHHHHH GOT DAMN IT!" scalding hot water washed over me, the sharp water feeling like needles in my skin. Quickly I turned on the cold water to balance it out, while suffering the consequences of my stupidity until the change took affect. That's what I get for thinking about that man. Today would be better, I demand it be better...I can't possibly have another coffee problem. Which I have yet to go purchase. I bit my lip and concentrated on scrubbing everything until my skin was red and lavender fresh.

Stepping out of the shower I blow dried my hair, brushed my teeth, and dried my body at the same time. I was definitely not going to be late for work today, regardless of how bad I felt and regardless of the fact that my head felt like an avalanche had fallen on it. I threw on the fresh suit, buttoning and zipping things as I ran into the living room.

Grabbing my keys I ran out of my apartment.

**

* * *

**The ground floor, the main entrance where normal people were allowed to come in during tours and stuff, was already a bit busy when I got there. No one looked twice at me, which for once I am glad. I glanced at the glass sign bearing the ShinRa logo and name and spotted pink and purple hair at a huge glass circulation desk. I sighed and made my way over to her, keeping my eyes downcast.

"Good morning, Edna."

_Edna_ is the receptionist for the ground floor, she handles signing people in and giving out information to tours (which haven't been going on in a while) and she has the mental stability of a pissed off rabbit. Her hair streaked a new color and it matched her nails. She wore huge 'fashionable' square shaped red glasses. How in the world did he even begin to call me Edna? We look nothing alike!

"_Good _morning?" she raised one tweezed eyebrow at me and slid a metal clipboard across the desk. "Have you seen the sky?"

Uh..? What?

"No...I didn't notice." Hearing her environmentalist rant today was not on my top ten list;my head feels like it was going to split in half. The nerve of her to complain about the environment. I would kill her if she started with me today. What good is it to sit there and talk about it? She could at least go stand outside with a picket sign and protest the environment..sure it'd be stupid to do so but she could still try it.

"I know you didn't. The nerve to say good morning when the sky looks like that."

I quickly scribbled my name and time and left talking before I had another case of shaking unsuspecting people. All I want to do was relax my nerves before I am assigned to do something. Just when I was about to find a staircase, a familiar figure emerged from the grand staircase that would eventually lead to the President's office. Rude. He was adjusting his sunglasses. I remember when I first came here, those stairs were covered in blood. It was a few nights after a _headless_ Jenova broke out of the labs and went crazy on everyone. That's when President Shinra was stabbed to death and that's when everyone at ShinRa knew that Sephiroth was back, because it was his sword that had did the deed. Then Rufus became the new President. It was so hectic when I came I never got a 'warm' welcome. I still haven't gotten one and by now I don't expect one.

"Hi Rude. You don't mind if I follow you do you?" I slipped beside him when he reached the floor.

"I'll take that as a no." I caught up with him.

We walked in silence and he stopped at an elevator. He pressed the button, sighed, and waited. Great. Elevators. Maybe I should have just taken the stairs? The doors opened with a soft ding and the city sat outside of it's glass casing. These are the worst elevators, sure they didn't stop on any other floors but the ground floor and the upper levels but they were made of glass and gave a clear view of the City which made me want to throw up all over again. The sky was overcast with dark clouds over the sprawling concrete jungle. There was nothing else to see for miles but city because then the walls would block the view of the outside world but then again there wasn't much to see there either because it was all dead. A person would have to completely leave the area where Midgar stands to see any form of vegetation.

The doors shut at the same time that Rude's cellphone rang. Rude was leaning against the other wall in the elevator and had his cellphone to his ear. Rude and a cellphone? He doesn't even_ talk._ Unless..the person on the other line is doing all the talking. How would they know if he was even listening if he barely said anything? Shaking the thought away, I closed my eyes and leaned against the cold glass. The elevator slowed and stopped. Rude stepped out and I followed.

Rude might not talk much but he's comfortable to be around. No once since I officially met him have I ever felt the urge to run in the opposite direction. I'm also convinced that despite his superior height (I'm not short!), muscular build under that suit, dark glasses, and bald head he's secretly a sweetie.

"Hey Rude?" I tapped his arm.

"Yeah?"

"You know I just got a word out of you right? Does this mean I win?"

He simply adjusted his tie and cleared his throat. We made a turn down our hall. It was empty for about two seconds because Tseng's office door opened and I got ready to say hello to him without spazzing out. The thing is, Tseng didn't come out into the hall. Instead, I feasted my eyes upon an immaculate white coat and blond hair. Rufus Shinra (!!). He paused at the door. He and Tseng were saying something. We got closer, Rude obviously isn't sensing my desire to stop before he noticed us and hide in the nearest office--Reno's.

"I'll be back Tseng." he moved out of the door way and...

His eyes met mine then narrowed. I quickly stared at the ground. Gosh! Not in front of Rude! Then he'll think all sorts of things. I could hear him take a few steps forward. I should say hello shouldn't I?

"Hello, sir." I said to the glossy white floor.

"....."

I glanced up against better judgment to see how Rude would respond. "....." and an inclined head was all even Rufus got. He didn't seem phased by it. Obviously everyone other than me, the short talkative rookie, knows that getting anything out of Rude was like pulling teeth.

He continued past. Our eyes met again, I quickly adverted my gaze. His stroll deliberately slowed as he passed by me. My face grew hot. Man! What's going on these days?! Did Rude notice?!

"Elena. Rude." Tseng's voice came from the open door.

"Sir?" my posture stiffened painfully and automatically. I followed Rude inside.

Tseng sat at his desk against the rigid back of his chair perfectly. His coal black hair spilled carelessly over his shoulders and his deep brown eyes followed us only briefly before his attention went on his monitor.

"Sir?" Rude stood near his desk. I hovered closer to the door trying to stretch myself into perfect posture and resist leaning against the wall to sooth the new wave of throbbing in my head. To seem even a little out of it would look bad and be totally unprofessional.

A frown etched across Tseng's face for a minute before it faded and he looked at us. My pulse quickened to join with my raging headache. Just when the heat from seeing Rufus Shinra was fading, it came back full force when Tseng simply looked at me. I dropped my gaze and crossed my arms around my self for stability. I have to focus on why he summoned us, not on how hot he is when he frowns.

"Elena, please close the door."

I jumped. "Yes, sir! Right away." I pushed it with a little too much force and it slammed. The sound blasted off the walls and into my skull. I winced. Tseng blinked. Rude cleared his throat and straightened his tie. He thinks this is funny doesn't he?!

"Sorry...about that sir." embarrassment was what warmed my face a third time.

Tseng didn't say anything, he just pushed some stamped and sealed files into an enveloped marked 'confidential', opened a drawer, and put them away.

"Rude I need you to do me a favor, take Elena to the Weapon's Department in about an hour and after that I need you to go find Reno."

"....."

"Weapon's Department, sir?" what about it? "And where is Reno?"

Before he could answer, his PHS ran. He glanced at it and his expression changed to an 'I'm-not-surprised' look before he slipped it open and put it to his ear.

"You _what_? Reno you have got to stop harassing Heidegger..." he raised an eyebrow.

Rude and I exchanged a look. Reno is harassing Heidegger? Why does it sound like that is a repeat offense on his part?

"....after all this time I'd think you would have grown tired of pissing him off.....well.." he glanced at his watch. ".....it's seven o'clock, I expect you here in thirty minutes....yes Reeve finished it...no you can't play with it..what are you twelve? Reno..I'll brief you then." he hung up.

Blink. What was that all about? Play with what? If Rude talked more he could tell me these things.

Tseng sighed. "Rude, how do you spend that much time with him?"

"I am still trying to figure that out." Rude muttered. I smiled at him. How _does_ he deal with Reno?"

"So...sir...what about the Weapon's Department?" I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

He ran a hand through his hair. "We've agreed that you should get acquainted with the simulated training."

The look that he exchanged with Rude made me question if this is a good thing. I didn't have time to ponder before he dismissed us. I followed Rude halfway out of his office before he stopped me.

"Elena are you okay?"

I nodded, turning around half way. Lies all lies! I bit back the urge to vomit (pun intended) my problems out on him and rant about my headache. "Yes, sir. Just a headache."

"Ahh, again? Perhaps you should try to avoid spending a lot of time out trying to keep up with the guys."

"But sir--" I almost launched into an explanation until I noticed a small amused smile on his lips. I stopped my mind from shattering at the expression and tried to remain calm. _Tseng just smiled at me! I'm so used to him being so stern!_

"Yes sir. Actually, in the defense of Reno and Rude I was out with a really nice woman from the Weapon's Department named Sara and President Rufus's secretary."

"Ahh." he glanced at something on his screen. "Get Roslyn to retrieve aspirin for you; you don't need any physical ailments distracting you."

**

* * *

  
**

Roslyn took five minutes to actually answer and when she did, her tone was as dry as ever and rude. If I'd been Tseng or Reno or (hahahah) Rude she would have been much less indifferent. I glared at the black speaker on my desk, using my brainpower to attempt bad karma.

"What do you want? You are interfering with a call from my sister." she snapped.

_Cow!! Screw you and your sister you good for nothing assistant! If I could I'd fire you!_

" Aren't we not allowed to take personal calls at work?" my unstable irritation is hard to remove from my tone. If I didn't have a blaring headache I wouldn't take such offense to her attitude. Reno already warned me that when her voice was this dry these were one of her good days, also indicated by how she wears her dark red hair.

"What do you _want?" _she sighed.

"Aspirin and water."

And she clicked off. I let my head fall to the desk and closed my eyes, wishing now that I'd shut my door. Voices echoed down the hall, signifying Reno's return. As much as I wanted to rest; curiosity got me. I lifted from the desk, leaned back in my seat, and listened to the firecracker down and across the hall.

"...watching his hairy ass get red like a tomato is a highlight."

There was no answer, letting me know that he is talking to Rude. Maybe they communicate telepathically?

"....yeah so Costa del Sol, huh? Who does that crazy fuck think he is? Hiding there? He knows he can't _resign _from ShinRa."

Costa del Sol? I'm missing out on Costa del Sol?! I haven't seen the beach in almost two years! And who is that 'crazy fuck' they're going on and on about?! Unfair....

"Yeah...oh baby sitting the rookie first?"

Scowl.

"I resent that remark Reno!!!" Risking a new pounding from my headache was worth it. There was a cackle of triumph and a deep chuckle. The next thing I heard was a door opening. Closing. Then silence.

I rested my head back on the desk and closed my eyes, willing the world to fade away and my head to stop throbbing. My thoughts scattered and jumped lazily from throwing up to Tseng to The President to Tseng to The President .......to Tseng.......to Rufus...

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

I sat bolt upright, my heart rushing suddenly and my headache coming back full force. There was no one at the doorway. The hall was totally empty.

"Roslyn stop playing tricks on me, it doesn't work for someone as vindictive and shrew-ish as you." First she's mean and then she wants to joke with me? Nope, can't have both. Either way, expected her to swing around the door frame and kill me.

"Vindictive Shrew. Hmm..that's one I've never been called before." a smooth masculine voice replied instead.

My heart jumped into my throat. Oh my gosh please tell me she has the hidden talent of changing her voice! But I didn't find out that Roslyn had a hidden talent. Instead, in a flash of white, Rufus Shinra stepped across the threshold and strolled across the room.

"S... gosh.."

I watched in disbelief as he sat a silver bottle of pills on my desk and then sat on the edge of it casually like a sexy paperweight.

"I...I..sir!" I almost sprang from my chair to bow. "I didn't know it was you! I didn't mean to say that to you President Shinra, sir." I trained my eyes to my desk.

"Don't worry about it....though I would prefer if it if you didn't call me President Shinra, that was my father. Not me."

I nodded, suddenly aware of everything from the way I am sitting to the scattered papers on my desk. Usually I would proudly call this "structured chaos" like my apartment, but now it feels so _messy_ with him here. "I'm sorry....sir. You told me that before and I forgot. I ..I wasn't expecting to see you sir. I thought you were Roslyn until I heard you talk and then I realized that you weren't and--"

_Shut up Elena!!!!! Shuuuut uuup!_

"I saw her returning on my way back down to see Tseng, and I decided to use it as an excuse to pay you a visit."

I risked a glance in his direction and met his eyes dead on. My face instantly grew hot. "You came to see me? That's...that's incredible."

He moved off the desk, disappearing behind me. "Is that surprising?"

How can it not be?! It's not everyday that The Rufus Shinra talks to me, let alone actually admits to exploiting a coincidental chance meeting with my --well ...Roslyn--to come see me. Maybe he's being sarcastic or ironic. I can never tell with him. He's confusing!

"N-not surprising but...unexpected. I'm not very interesting." I grabbed the pills and uncapped them. My logic: if I'm eating something then I won't end up getting my foot in my mouth.

"Oh I disagree."

Swiveling around in my chair brought him back to my vision. He was standing at the window looking out at the city with his arms crossed. His long white jacket hung just above the floor and added to his intimidating yet incredibly alluring presence. He seems to be looking over his City in an appraising manner. I don't want to look away but in order to avoid an overdose I have to. Two capsules fell neatly into my palm. I hate capsules because they rarely want to go down my throat. My gag reflex is the devil. They sit on my tongue, the plastic begins to get soft and melt. Wincing I force a swallow. They stop right in the middle of my throat. Quickly, I swivel back to my desk. My elbow hits something. The glass of water tilts dangerously and my fingers brush it a minute too late and it falls onto the desk. Clear liquid fans out slowly across the dark surface. Gah! Rufus is going to think I'm clumsy! Even though I am from time to time doesn't mean I want him to know that!

Swallowing hard and punching my self in the throat, I manage to get the pills down. I pull open the bottom drawer and grab paper towels.

"So..." water spreads on the towels. "Sir.." and what am I supposed to say?! "I'm kinda hungry."

_I'm hungry?! _Who says that?! What is wrong with me? Really?! I'm _hungry_? Yeah okay I am hungry...my tummy knows it..but that's still not a reason to reveal that to my boss and not just any ole boss but _Rufus Shinra_!? Maybe he'll just give me that look that Tseng gives me when he's trying to figure out how to respond to something completely off-the-wall (what wall?!) I just said; that whole raised eyebrow, running hand through hair, slightly sighing thing that he does. The one where I don't know whether to feel like a complete and total idiot or try to explain why I just said what I said. Maybe, even better, he'll pretend he didn't hear me.

"I forgot to eat this morning." he said instead, looking back at me over his shoulder.

"Forgot? How do you _forget to eat_, sir?"

"Sometimes trivial things like that get overlooked when one is busy, Elena." he said that like it was the most logical statement in the world. And I could totally not relate to that. I loved food, I would never forget to eat, regardless of what I was doing. But right now I don't think food shared the same sentiment with me, or at least not medicines and liquids because I can count within two days time how many times I've been abused by food.

"Oh...that's kinda weird."

Damn it. I can not shut up to save my life, my mouth has never failed to move before my mind could catch up with it. I expected him to at least be offended by the idiot that gets her foot in her mouth but he was was silent for a moment. Rufus Shinra chuckled softly at my comment, he turned around from the window and looked at me. The sunlight bounced off his hair giving it a lovely golden glow. At that exact moment he looked like some angel (is it okay to be attracted to holy beings?)

"And what where _you_ planning on doing?" he inquired, leaning against the window and crossing his arms.

I shook my head. "I was going to get a breakfast bar or something from the lounge, like maybe a bagel...I like bagels. But no I'm not a bagel person though.." I tapped my bottom lip. _Why am I telling him this?!_

"....I usually just eat some type of cereal, but that gets boring and I don't always want a liquid based food. Which makes me think of what happened to me yesterday morning, I-"

I barely realized he crossed the room; light pressure was suddenly against my lips and I was face to face with him. My blood rushed quickly to my face.I felt my eyes widen. My mind went blank. _He's so handsome..so so handsome!_

"How about you tell me what happened to you yesterday morning, while we get some breakfast?" he smirked.

Definitely incredibly handsome.

"I..um.."

Then my stomach growled.

"I'll take that as a yes." his smirk got more pronounced.

I take the handsome comment back. He's not incredibly handsome. Oh no those words aren't good enough. He's incredibly handsomely gosh darn sexy and I'm sure he knows it.

Somehow I manage to nod feverishly. The warmth of his hand wrapped around one of my limp ones and I was pulled to my feet. ...

* * *

My mind grasped for things to say and they slipped away before I could open my mouth. I walked beside him, focusing on the ground, and only looking up when a random person would walk by and say hello to Rufus—but not me. Where are we going? To his office? If someone had told me this morning that I'd be heading to The President's office for something completely not work-related I would punch them for lying like a dog (what's with that lying like a dog statement anyway?). But no, here we are going to his office. What am I going to do once we get there? Say? How can I function normally in his presence? This isn't just some guy this is Rufus Shinra. What am I going to do about this? What if I choke on something I'm eating and then he has to give me the Heimlich maneuver? Better yet, since we're heading towards an elevator, maybe he can watch me tense up even more as the elevator moves upward. Looking out at the City just makes it worse. Maybe he doesn't notice. Then I won't have to explain my disdain for the little evil boxes.

"You're afraid of elevators?"

My face grew hot. So much for hoping he didn't notice. He probably notices everything. It's his job to notice everything. "No..no sir...not afraid of them..that's ..that'd be crazy. I just.." I shrugged, hopelessly staring at my boots. "I don't like the uncomfortable...upward and downward feeling. I'm not claustrophobic or anything.."

"So you're afraid of heights."

"No..not that either. It's ...hard to explain, sir." chewing my bottom lip gave me little comfort. He thinks I'm a sad excuse for a Turk now I bet! I can't even _pretend_ to not have a problem. I'm so obvious!

There was a soft ding and the doors slid open. I took another deep breath which did nothing for my nerves and followed him out. There are more important things to freak out about than falling seventy stories via elevator. I still do not know what to say or how to act. Being totally silent would be weird. I still can't believe he has taken me all the way up to the Shinra Tower. I can seriously count on one hand how many times I've been up to his office and not _one_ of those times were for good reasons nor were they very lengthy visits for which I was always glad because that lowered the chance that I'd end up irritating him beyond repair. Or doing something equally as bad like ending up punching him. Not because I secretly want to assault the President but because sometimes my limbs flail out and hit innocent bystanders.

Before we reached his office we reached his secretary's desk. Or what should have been her desk. It was buried and surrounded by a mass of flowers of every different color and the conflicting smell of them hung in the air like a thick smoke. A guilty twinge rushed through me. I might not remember everything that went on last night but I do remember telling her that The President might kill her if she didn't order the right flowers. She was clutching a phone like it was a life-line and seemed to be on hold from the person on the other end. He cleared his throat and she looked up wide eyed.

"You're back...so soon..sir." her eyes flickered from me to him and back again.

"I told you to get rid of these."

"Yes..I..I was in the process of doing that, sir."she was talking faster than she'd talked yesterday, it vaguely reminded me of a frightened chipmunk. "But, they won't come get them. I'm sorry I misinterpreted what you meant yesterday..I thought you wanted them ordered for someone personal, not because ..." she ripped a sheet of paper from a notebook and balled it up in a twitchy manner. "Not because they were meant to be used in some kind of genetic variation experiment in the Science Department. I did end up getting one group of the right ones though--"

Rufus held up his free hand to shut her up. "Get rid of them."

So...they weren't for personal reasons? Hah...oops.

Her bun steadily sloppy dark brown bun bounced up and down as she nodded urgently. She didn't look at me at all. "But..but how..sir?"

For a tense moment she winced, figuring he was about to quite possibly tell her to pack up her stuff and get out. This is my fault for being a horrible guest and a even worse drunk. Have to admit though, it's kinda funny.

He released a low, exasperated sigh; my eyes left her and fell on a basket of blue gardenias. "I like those."

Silence. Chaminade blinked and relief washed over her face. Rufus raised an eyebrow at me.

"These?" she pointed to them, hopefully.

"Yes, blue is my favorite color." I shrugged. _Now she owes me._

There was a short momentary silence. Then Rufus instructed her to deliver those to my office (oh my crap! Does this count as a gift?!) and get rid of the rest. He continued on, I followed. Chaminade caught my eye, her eyes had narrowed considerably. I smiled apologetically. She glared. Okay so maybe I deserved that? All was forgotten as we walked through yet another set of glass doors in which our eyes were scanned by a laser as an I.D. Security into his office had be doubled after a certain leather clad swordsman used Daddy ShinRa as a guinea pig for a experiment on whether swords can impale fat man flesh. Then he led me into his office and left me on the threshold for a moment, telling me he would be right back. I crossed the threshold by myself and stood there awkwardly. What to do? I can't just _waltz _into his office.

_His_ office, is obviously bigger than anyone else's and had been drastically remodeled after his father's timely murder. There was a large black screen mounted on a wall, and it was currently off. I figured it could access every camera in the building or around it but I wasn't about to find out. Everything was either silver or black. The desk was a large half circle, glass, and spotless and the dim sunlight coming from the huge window behind it reflected on it. Not a paper, pen, or drawer was out of place. In fact..there were no papers..pens..or anything on the desk at all. _No paper clips?! _Then I noticed a private area set off to itself. A den-like area with black leather furniture, a glass coffee table in the middle. _Nice. It leaves one to wonder, though, the logic of putting the most important person in the most obvious place. It's like putting a highly desired and highly endangered bird right in the view of it's predators._

Then pressure landed on my shoulder. Gah. It was Rufus.

"Sir! You..startled me.." heat rushed into my face.

"Did I?" he stepped around me and crossed the floor to his desk. I ran a hand through my hair and rocked back and forth on the heels of my feet. What to do now? As if he could read my mind, Rufus added as an afterthought. "She'll be up sooner or later."

"Oh.."

Silence.

"You can sit down,you know."

"Yes, sir." somehow I managed to make it into a leather chair out of his view without tripping and breaking my neck. I watched him quietly.

What to say? Anything?

".....sir? I was admiring your office..before you came back."

"Okay?" was all I got in reply. He was settling at his desk, doing something on his computer; barely paying me any attention.

"...it's..so _clean. _I was thinking that a potted plant would make it less..clean.." what?! Can I rewind time and erase what I just said? What if he's insulted? Less clean?! Who says that?!

I fidgeted.

Silence.

"I'll keep that in mind."

And then he went right on to working as if I wasn't there. He tapped his pen on the desktop and checked something on his computer. He ran a hand through his hair; anything but actually talk to me. Being ignored is starting to make me uncomfortable all over again. I fidgeted, bit my lip, and stared out of the window. He turned completely away to his computer. A 3D model of the city was rotating on the flat screen. It's 6th sector was visible over his shoulder, showing how it was unfinished.

"A-are...is it ever going to be completed sir?" I picked up something else and nibbled at it. Rufus didn't bother to turn to me.

"Depends."

"On what,sir?" I really want to know. This is the first time I've been alone with _Rufus Shinra_ and he has all the answers to everything I've been curious about but never asked about because I don't think it'll look good for a rookie to be asking too many questions at a time. Tseng just sighs and gives me condensed responses, Rude is always "...", and Reno always tells me that reasons don't matter that I should just do what I'm asked but if I really want to know, then ask Tseng which then starts the whole process again. It maybe be a long shot but..

"Elena, tell me something." that voice of his has such an authoritative allure that I know I'll tell him anything. He's the kind of man that doesn't have to yell to get his point across. Kinda sexy. _Gods I have a problem...I can't call my boss sexy!  
_

"Sir?"

"Go look at the City and tell me what you see."

I stood, curious as to what he was getting at. Approaching the unbelievably huge window behind his desk. Midgar sprawled out before me so fast I almost felt as if I could simply walk forward and fall into the street. from this height the grayish sky was mainly visible and no other building reached this height to block the view. Below was a system of Mako reactors in the distance and a sprawling metropolis. The sky was the only thing that would make it obvious that the City of Midgar wasn't perfect from this level. Just beyond the window as a balcony.

"The City and it's sectors, sir." I shoved my hands in my pockets. "Is that what I'm supposed to see?"

"Does it seem complete to you?" pressure landed on my shoulder.

I jumped, realizing he was behind me. How in the hell did he do that so fast and so quietly? Or maybe I just have a noisy mind? I nibbled my lip and tried to regain the oxygen I had lost far too quickly.

"Um.." what am I supposed to say to that? "Well, sir, from this angle, I can't see _everything_, so I don't really know. I guess if it's ....out of sight then it's out of mind." I shrugged hopelessly. I'm wrong because I'm always wrong. Right?

"Exactly." he said from behind me, then added as an afterthought. "That's why he did it."

"Who?" I almost asked but bit my lip. Instead I stared out at the city below. People were probably doing the same routine every as they did yesterday, riding the train from below to here to come to work, or sleeping in late. I am standing in front of the most powerful man in the world that could change their lives as he sees fit. "Oh." I finally said.

"So.." my brain went blank; all I can think about is him behind me. Suddenly I wish my hair was a little smoother and that my posture was a little straighter. "Chaminade work here long, sir? Not that it's any of my business or anything...I mean I've met her, she seems like an um ...nice girl--woman. Sorry, sir, it's a horrible habit, calling women girls. It's so weird that we do that but we'll instantly call a man or a boy by his right title. Not trying to sound like a raging feminist or anything--"

"Are you afraid of me, Elena?"

My mouth hung open in mid-syllable, if any flies were around they would have a wide-open place to go in and out of for kicks. My mind went blank. What does he mean by that? Am I scared of him? No...just a little...run of the mill...flustered...intimidated...

"N-no...no sir. " I chewed the inside of my mouth. "Just a little bit...well...but no you said I shouldn't be..."

_Talk in normal sentences woman!!! He's going to think you're an idiot or something!!!!!!!!_

"You really should learn to relax, _Elena_." I felt deliberate pressure on my shoulders. My name oh so wrong--right--on his tongue. "I don't want you to be so tense."

_Stay pure evil thoughts! Back ye demons! Back!!!_

"I know...it's just that....I'm always just..." I grasped for words but the sentence faded into nothingness.

"You just?" he prompted softly.

_Think of something to say!!!! Don't admit that your brain is about to shatter into little pieces!_

"I don't know." I stared out at the City. I wish I had more to say than 'I don't know'. "Maybe you're right...maybe I'm just tense."

A different kind of pressure caressed my shoulders and neck causing me to tense painfully. "S-sir, what are you doing?" I _squeaked._

"Helping you relax. Calm down."

I laughed unsurely. He shouldn't be massaging me (and so well!) and I shouldn't be up here and I shouldn't like it! I have to tell him to stop! I've never liked massages before because they are usually weird,_ painful,_ and weird, so why am I liking it?! But if he tells me to calm down I should..I could lie to myself and say that it's an order. Yes! That's what I'll do!

"Sir, you shouldn't be--ooh" my muscles suddenly relaxed and heat rushed to my face.

He chuckled softly. "You know...you shouldn't worry about your little mistake."

Somehow I opened my mouth and formed words. "The one in the Mythril mines, sir? Oh.." I shook my head. "With all due respect, sir...that was not just a little mistake...I'm the reason they know what we're looking for--"

"I disagree. It simply makes things more interesting. Otherwise it would be too easy."

"Oh...you like a challenge...?" I nodded dumbly for no reason, out of the corner of my eye his lovely hands were working deftly into my shoulders. "I like his black fingerless gloves.."

"Well..thank you?"

Gods I thought I was thinking that in my head!! Do I talk so much that I can't even think silently?!

"Sorry." I focused hard on the darkening sky.

"Why?" he asked lightly.

I shrugged. "I don't know, sir."

"Hmm." was all I got in return.

_"Sir do you still want what you asked for?"_

Chaminade's voice shattered the silence. Suddenly, I became very aware of his hands on my shoulders again. What if she came in and saw that? I actually_ forgot_ why I was up here in the first place.

_**----  
**_

Out on the balcony the air stirred a little more fiercely. The sky spread above us like dark blanket. I stared out at the city below, only a leap away and wondered why the silence wasn't so weird now. I ate another handful of grapes while he rose from his seat and walked toward the edge. His coat billowed slightly in the wind.

"Sir...do you come out here often?" should I join him? Would that be invading his personal space?

The wind stirred again, my hair flew into my eyes; there was a brief whistle and then it whistled softly.

"Yes, actually." he sounded preoccupied with thought. Should I shut up?

"Oh."I chewed thoughtfully on another fruit.

"You never told me what was so bad about yesterday." he turned around and leaned against the rail.

"Oh!" I had completely forgotten about that. I couldn't even feel my headache anymore and today was definitely a big improvement on yesterday. Did he really want to know why my day was bad yesterday or is he just pretending to care? Why would he pretend to care? He doesn't have to waste time with making people like him, especially those that work for him. Either way, I told him in detail about the night before and about how I got sick. The end of the story was met with silence. Did I just reveal to him how much of a horrid person I am? I don't drink often really!

"Is today better?" he finally said something.

A grin tugged at my lips out of nowhere. I nodded, my cheeks burning. Oh heck yes it's much much much much much better. "It..it's definitely better." Did that sound just a little suggestive?

He chuckled softly. I can feel my smile getting bigger. He thinks I'm funny? This _has _to be added to my personal accomplishments. Without another word, he checked his watch. "We should go back inside."

I obeyed, springing up from my seat. He opened the glass door for me; he guides me inside; His hand goes to my back and my awareness flares. Gosh. Back in his office I remembered what had happened about twenty minutes ago. My face burned.

"Sir, I have to go....I need to go..I have some work to complete."

His hand left my back. "You probably should go, then." I felt myself turn around to face him.

"Yes..well..thank you, sir." I can't bring myself to look up at him, I'll probably forget my own name and start calling myself Edna as well. "I'll be going now...lot's of w-work to do..."

A single finger slid under my chin and I was guided to look up against my will. I met his eyes slowly, heat burning in my face. They're cold, blue, intense. Without saying anything at all he moves away, breaks eye contact, and goes to the door. I dropped my gaze, mumbled a something that should have been a 'thank you' and left. The door closed behind me, I glanced over my shoulder.

"Stop liking him..stop liking him..." I hissed repeatedly under my breath knowing the whole time it was no use. It isn't my imagination. I think I might be infatuated with my boss. I shouldn't be! I mean..it was just breakfast it wasn't like he asked me out on a date or anything.

* * *

---

* * *

_**Goodwitch08: I had fun writing this chapter. I had even more fun 'rewriting' it. I don't know if you guys remember exactly what was in the original copy of this chapter but I hope this one is better. Honestly, I thought something was off about Rufus and Elena's interaction in this chapter. It wasn't hardly what I'd envisioned. Even though I added a few new scenes (and altered some) and dialogue into this chapter, I tried to keep a lot of the things they said and did in check because I did find a lot of the random things I made her say and think pretty funny. My main nugget of problems with this chapter was that I think I made Rufus come off as strangely forward. Sure he's forward but he's a lot more subtle than what was written in the original version of this chapter(and the next few). I hope you guys liked this. Hopefully, this establishes things better. Tell me what you think in a review (it can be an anonymous one if you've already reviewed before or you can just tack it on to the review of the next chapter I update). Go ahead now and read the next!**_


	4. The Art of Losing

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**_The Art of Losing_**

* * *

Why did I go on an errand for him again? Oh because he insists that he won't be very friendly without cigarettes while he's on assignment and that by getting them for him I'm doing a public service. I'm not going to challenge Reno on that. This would have been easy if Reno wasn't so damn picky. He didn't want what I picked the first time. The second time he claimed he hated the picture on the carton. The third time he said he didn't want it 'unfiltered'. Screw that, if he doesn't like this kind I'm going to make him choke on these cancer sticks by shoving them down his throat. Or at least dream about shoving them down his throat.

"...at least I can fantasize about it." I stuffed the carton in my pockets; I feel like I'm smuggling illegal drugs. I stopped at the first elevator I saw and pressed a button. I hate elevators, but I don't feel like climbing the stairs _again_ to get back to my office.

The silver doors slid open and I stepped in and received a shock to my left that had nothing to do with the uncomfortable upward movement of the elevator. _Rufus Shinra _was the only other occupant, he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, his cold blue eyes watching the numbers change in a bored detached way. I shuffled in, taking refuge in the opposite corner and stared at the floor.

"Hi, sir." I offered meekly well after it was appropriate. I just don't want to reside in that long stretch of silence anymore. Something about elevators and silence is already awkward. All I can think about is how we talked yesterday up in his office and how I couldn't stop thinking about it. It wasn't as if he fed me and we made out on his desk or something. It was just breakfast and a chat. He probably doesn't even remember it! I'm not important to him.

He glanced at me, in recognition and I silently accepted it. Maybe he was simply in a good 'benevolent' mood earlier and now he'd rather not talk to me. I shifted my weight, closed my eyes, and wrapped a hand around the silver bar inside. The light, unnatural feeling of flying upward surrounded me along with the sound of wind passing. The silence is more amplified when the only other thing being heard is the machine and no conversation at all. Maybe I should talk to him about something. _Anything._

I snuck another glance at him, he'd changed positions but otherwise was consistent. I kinda wish he would have been sneaking a peak at me.

"So.." I suddenly found great interest in picking a loose fingernail. I laughed uncomfortably. "So...you _do_ remember my name this time, right sir? _Elena _not Edna?" I glanced at him. something tells me he didn't 'forget' in the first place.

He watched me from the corner of his eye, a smirk had broken his previous impassive look. What's he going to say?

"I never forget a beautiful woman." he answered smoothly. Oh well..that makes sense--

Wait what?!

"E-excuse me sir?" I bit my lip.

"Tell me, how are you managing these first several weeks?" he flicked his hair and eyed the rising numbers again. Maybe seventy floors was a mistake.

_He called me beautiful?_

"Well.." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "They're fine enough, sir. Thank you for asking; It was a little hectic the first few weeks but that's understandable. I wish it hadn't been under the circumstance of Reno getting injured but it's still good. I'm honored to be chosen to become part of the c-company..." I faltered as soon as I realized how much of a kiss-ass I must sound like. _Smooth, Elena, real smooth._

"I see."

Silence. I feel compelled to say more since the conversation has started. "What about you sir, are you enjoying being in complete control now?"

He gave me a _look;_ a mix between ironic honesty and something else. "Who wouldn't?"

I bit my lip. _I _wouldn't because then _I'd_ get blamed for anything that goes wrong_, including_ acts of nature. But I'm sure he's great at it. " I bet it's a lot of work, sir? I bet you're always busy; which would explain why you're hardly seen outside of the office."

"I'm not as busy as you would think--and that's hardly the reason why I rarely leave my office." he added as an afterthought.

Well..that's intriguing. Does he never leave his office because he's plotting secret dark plots? Or maybe he's got a woman up there?! Hmph, I don't like that idea.

"If I may ask, why then sir?"

Rufus sighed airily and glanced at the numbers again. We were finally almost at the upper floors. It stopped and opened for me. I'm torn between leaving and staying. I just got into a totally un-weird conversation with him that didn't involve sexual tension--okay maybe a smidgen. And he didn't answer me yet. But I don't have any reason to say.

"I'll tell you later, I'll be seeing you again."

"Really?" I stood between the threshold, keeping the doors open.

He nodded. "Really."

"Okay. Have a nice day, sir." my lips curled into a smile. He smirked in return. Heat rose into my face.

_Stop flirting with him you evil evil evil girl!_

"Aren't you supposed to be going somewhere." amusement crept into his gaze.

"Right. Sorry sir!" I managed and stepped out into the hall in the most normal way possible. The doors closed and I watched the numbers rise. "Gosh...he's so hot. He's great."

"Who is?"

My heart lodged itself in my throat; upon turning it threatened to choke.

"No..one sir."

Tseng frowned ever so slightly. "Right."

"So...what is up?"

_What is up?! What is up!? Seriously?!_

There was a brief silence in which he seemed to be trying to figure out how to handle me--yet again. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Well, I was looking for you. Rude is going to take you to the Weapon's Department."

_**

* * *

**_"You should have your name changed from Rude to Quiet because you're anything but."

Still nothing. He sighed lightly as if he'd heard every single stupid joke anyone could make about his name and adjusted his sunglasses. I peered up at him and bit my lip. Silence is not something I can do well, all I want to do is chat while we walk down this corridor. How can he stand complete silence? I bet Reno doesn't let him sit in this kind of silence for long, Reno isn't the kind of person that strikes me as allowing anyone to wallow in silence, no matter how much it's desired. Maybe if I talk about work he'll start talking back..

"So...why am I going down here again?"

He was quiet for a moment as if he were trying to figure out a way to say this with as few words as possible. "Weapon's training, sometimes we will help out the Weapon's Department by trying out there new weapons."

"And?"

"...And that's where you're going."

"You're coming too?"

"I'll be on assignment with Reno."

"Why can't I come along?!"

"....."

"Oh that's mean." I scoffed and crossed my arms. "So while you guys go off chasing Avalanche, I'm stuck here and being used as a guinea pig?"

A crease appeared at Rude's brow. I sighed inwardly, no use in making Rude exasperated with me too, I've already complained respectfully to Tseng about the same thing. I don't mean to tap dance on my superiors' last nerves, I just want a second chance or so.

"We're not chasing AVALANCHE." he corrected me simply, and being Rude, he didn't bother to explain any further than that. Darn you Rude!

"Okay it's the same difference. But do you admit that I'm being used as a guinea pig? Why can't a little soldier do it? I like weapons and tech and all but--"

Rude sighed. I bit my bottom lip and stared ahead instead as we reached the floor we were heading to. This isn't the Weapon's Department....this is where training goes on. We would have reached it quicker but since Rude was nice enough to let me avoid elevators we took the stairs. See that's why I like him, he's sweet and doesn't patronize me like Reno.

_**LV.49**_

I looked to Rude. "Have you ever done it before? And isn't this a training facility, not the Weapon's Department?"

"I've done it before." he nodded and pushed open a gray door, I followed.

The first thing I noticed was a station equipped with a computer and numerous buttons. Across from that station was another room, visible through glass and it was totally empty. Then my gaze landed on Sara. So she's going to be here too? She doesn't look sick at all. Lucky her.

She didn't notice us come in, or at least she was pretending not too. She is focused on a clip board in her hands and sitting on the edge of a silver table that's covered up by a sheet. Her long legs hung off the edge and swung back and forth, her black heeled boots sometimes hitting the nearest table leg. Sometimes she would tuck back a loose strand of her long black hair that was falling out of her almost perfect slick ponytail. She was wearing a black lab coat and a matching skirt that covered her knees. She seems totally put together and not at all sick like I was earlier. I hope she doesn't remember much of last night, I don't want her to think I'm...crazy. After a few moments she still didn't look up, she even started writing something on the clip board. Rude's sunglasses exchanged a look with me. I nodded.

Clearing his throat only once did the trick (if it had been me it would have taken five times). She looked up; slightly startled. Her eyes flicked from Rude to me and then a small smile materialized on her lips. She slid gracefully off of the table and strolled over to us; shaking Rude's hand first before grasping mine warmly.

"Elena...I didn't know it was going to be you. Hello...you were not standing here long were you?" she a strand fell from her ponytail and she pushed it back again.

"No, we weren't. " I felt a grin tug at my lips.

"….I'm going to go now." Rude slipped out of the room before I could reply.

She finally released my hand. "I actually managed to get this area today, can you believe that? You shouldn't be long here actually…" she didn't wait on me, but headed towards the table. I gave myself a mental kick and followed after her. "Well…actually that depends." She stopped and turned toward me. "Is this your first weapon's training?"

"No…" I bit my lip. She cocked her head to the side; clearly not believing me. "Yes..it is. Kinda. It's not like I've never…used….weapons of course..since..I'm a Turk and all. It's just that this is the first time I've ever done _this_…" I gestured, hoping I am making more sense that I think I am.

Silence. She looked down at her chart and tapped it once with her pen. "That's good, this should be fun."

"Oh?" I shoved my hands in my pockets and rocked back on the heels of my feet; fidgeting with lint in my pockets.

She nodded before putting down the clip board and pulling her raven hair out of its ponytail. It fell down her back and for a short-_very _short-moment I missed my longer hair. She slicked it back again and put it back in the style. "Sorry about that..." she picked the clipboard back up.

"It's fine. I used to have that problem all the time when my hair was longer. Even after cutting it...it still seems to find a way to…well….look like this." I ran a hand through my hair; I just know it has to be looking horrible right now. It always does."

Her eyes strayed to my hair, a little smile on her lips. It looks that bad?! Then she smoothed it down gently, leaving a tingling in my scalp. "It looks fine."

"Hah.."

Silence.

"So. We'll be practicing in a simulation...I'm sure you've experienced simulated fights before..." she went right back into business mode; I tried to catch up. "Your weapon will be this..." without much effort she removed the sheet from the table and picked up a hilt from several other weapons. A hilt?

I felt my expression change and quickly tried to fix it back. She chuckled softly. My face grew warm.

"Judging from the look on your face you're wondering why I'm giving you a hilt."

She extended it to me.

"Is it.._just_ a hilt?"

Once again she chuckled softly and I felt warmth creep up into my face. "Of course it's not just a hilt..that would be silly." her smile was warm and I felt just a little less stupid. "Let me explain..."

She held it out to me. I took it and my arm instantly dropped. It's surprisingly _heavy._

"I call it a snake sword."

"Why?" I looked at the long black hilt and imagined a wild red and black snake writhing at the end of it.

"Because...well you'll see." she smiled warmly at me and ran her hand lovingly over the hilt, the tips of her fingers brushed my knuckles before she let it go.

"You made this didn't you?" my lips turned up in a small smile.

Hell maybe she should be the leader of the Weapons Department..at least she was actually likable and didn't have a stupid laugh. It was a plus that she could actually create something that didn't go _boom._

"Well yeah..." Sara beamed.

So much for modesty.

"Actually...myself and the others under Scarlet are the ones who make most of the things...the things that are currently useful anyway." she shrugged, but then quickly backtracked her words as if Scarlet could hear her talking. "But I'm not saying Scarlet's creations are stupid and useless and just use up the company money by being so over sized and dangerous without a cause. Maybe she's looking to the future....we just make the things used in immediate combat. Honestly we all need each other. "she nodded. "Yeah, we're all a team."

I nodded, not knowing what to say. The hilt was like fire in my hands, I wanted to know what was so special about it. "So..how do I use it?"

"Move your hand like this.." she demonstrated a quick snapping up and down movement. "And it will emerge. It can change form if you focus, the idea is for the sword to work with the user's thoughts and feelings."

Oh really now?

"Thanks. Lets see what this is about.."

I repeated her arm motion. Suddenly my arm went rigid without my consent and a electric sensation bounced through it, crackling under my skin from my fingers ,through my veins, to my shoulder blade and back again. Now there was a long silver blade with a blue glowing edge protruding from the hilt. I looked back at Sara with wide eyes. She gave me a pleased thumbs up and waved me along to try wielding it. I noticed the heavy feeling I'd felt before had vanished. The sword vibrated gently in my hand, a move so fast I had no idea it had happened. The sword now looked like a limp metal vertebrae, it had the movements of a snake.

"Great, now you know how to use it." she slipped up beside me, a hand resting on my shoulders and gently prodded me in the direction of the glass room.

Before I knew it I was standing in the center of it and she was settling in at the control station.

"Okay Elena. I'm going to count to three then it starts." her voice seemed to be the only thing to fill the room. A jolt of excitement rushed through me and my hand tightened around the hilt. I nodded.

"I hear ya."

"Also." she hesitated. "If you feel you need any help, I can hear you. I'll stop the simulation and remember that the sword is equipped with restore Materia..." she trailed off.

"I won't need any help or magic." I looked up at the high ceiling. An uncomfortable feeling of distorted perception washed over me and I had to remind myself that I'm standing still and these are just four walls and a ceiling. "It's just a simulation right?" even as I ask, I looked over the hilt and spotted the softly glowing green orb nestled at the base.

"Of course." she didn't sound too sure. "Ready?"

"Yeah." I tightened my grip again.

"On the count of three then." she added as an afterthought. "Good luck."

"One..."

I bit my bottom lip.

"Two.." even her voice shook with excitement.

The hilt was becoming like a second skin.

"Three."

There was a blinding flash. The walls turned black and a grid appeared on them, they glowed green and seemed to be lined with Mako. They wavered and moved forward from the walls.

"Stand still for a moment, it's scanning you for us."

I nodded, trying to ignore the sudden claustrophobic feeling as the lines invaded my personal space. _Us_? Green lines ran up my hands, arms, legs, torso...then there was another flash. The walls are gone. An uncharacteristically clear blue sky materialized almost seamlessly; beneath my feet was black pavement and all around me were unfamiliar buildings. Suddenly my gaze was drawn back to the sky. Big black angry clouds scarred the blue and darkness shaded the entire area along with a thick white flog. I clenched the hilt again. A single disk of moisture licked my forehead. Then another and another until freezing rain sank through my bones and visibility became low. Over the drumming rain was the sound of slowly approaching footsteps. I closed my eyes and tried to remember Sara's words. _Snake.....snake....snake..._

A electric pulse burst through my veins, my arm jerked and a blade slid out of the hilt as gleaming pointed steel before it got like a broken vertebrae again and began to writhe like a snake. _Cool._

_Pay attention!_ I pulled my eyes from the sword; a black blur _flew_ past. Swinging around I could see nothing through the thick white clouds and curtain of rain. I drew my bottom lip into my teeth. How am I supposed to fight it if I can't see what it is?

A figure appeared in the fog. Clocked, long hair....long sword..._very _long sword. My grip tightened on the hilt and my heart thudded in my chest. They have _got_ to be kidding!

"Sara!"

The shadow was coming closer.

_"Relax. You do not have to win, you just have to try out the weapon."_ her voice came from the sky. The buildings. Everywhere.

And what if he turns me into something chopped up and unidentifiable, I wanted to ask, but I bit my lip instead. Metal sung very close to my ear under the pounding rain. I dropped down quickly; glad all I lost might have been a few strands instead of my head. I stood again.

Suddenly my vision dotted with stars, pain rushed through my skull. Is that blood? No...rain..it's rain.

"Don't you want to get to know me first?" I laughed to myself. Why am I laughing? He didn't answer.

Darkness stood over me. After a swift movement, pain blasted through my side and through my ribs. My arm shot up. Metal clanged in my ears. The snake went rigid. Weight pressed into my ribs, pressure caused my wrists to shake. A gasp, not of pain, escaped. Blank cat-like green eyes stared down at me, long wet silver hair framed his face. _Get up woman and stop being in awe of ShinRa realism!_ There is no point in struggling with him. I roll out of the way. Like lightening he is in front of me before I can stand properly. Screw just trying out the sword _I want to win_. Slash. Slash. _Slash._ Kick. Miss. Run._Run!_ Cold water splattered in my eyes. Am I face _down_ in a puddle? Then my hair is being ripped from my skull. Grasping and kicking doesn't work. The pain stops. I'm standing again. He is standing behind me when I turn; cloak billowing, hair waving like a flag, hardly visible in the fog and rain. My mistake is blinking, with a flash his sword is in the air. _Crap!_ My leg shoots up and in _between_. His eyes pan down.

"Hah! Would you look at that. How often does someone get to kick _you_ in the crotch--"

Wordlessly, his eyes flash. Crap. Crap._ Crap! Runrunrun! _

Force slammed into my chest. Wind sang painfully in my ears, rain blinded and stung me. I'm flying_ flying _flying. Then I crash into the street. A dull pounding in my ears reminds me to get up. I'm running again..._runrunrun. _He's behind me. When I stop he'll be _there. _He's too _fast_. Electric pulses jump in my arm,. The sword dances before me like an angry snake against the storm. The ground. _The ground?_ In a flash the snake extends and dives into the ground; making sparks as it goes. He appears. The head emerges beneath him and connects with his sword. A hard tug dislodges it from his grasp.

"So does this mean I win?"

Too _soon!_ The snake retracts. The infamous sword is retrieved before I can close my mouth. _Slashslashslash_! Slash! _Slashslashslashslashslashmoverightleftslashslashdodgeslash. _He's gone. Is he? A chill rushes down my spine. _Behind._ The snake shoots into the ground and I'm forced around facing the shadowed man. The snake coils around his waist. We're an inch a part. A tug tightens the grip;lessens the distance. Somehow my arm gets around his neck, grazing his hair. _Flip him?! _ Nononono..! Suddenly breathing his hard. Chunks of debris fill my lungs. _Don't drop the sword!_ With a painful thud, darkness is forced into my vision for a split second. Judging from that large hole above me...he threw me through a wall.

Silence. The rain is only a dull pounding above. No footsteps. No singing blade. Is my own still with me? My fingers curl around it. _Yes_. As if he could hear my victory, he appeared at the exit—the hole. _Getupgetupgetup_! There's no time for stumbling.

"You're not real! I'm gonna kick your ass!" The snake swung around like a propeller. Somewhere in me a _roar_ came and I threw myself at him. _Bad idea_. His grip is firm around my waist. Suddenly bricks stab my back. Everything flies past in a blur. The sky..buildings...rain...who is that screaming? It stops short. Am I bleeding somewhere? The sky is all I can see now. Large black clouds..torrents of freezing rain. A flash of _silver. _

_Warmth_ spreads from my head...it spills up and out of my fingers...my eyes?

A while ceiling? What happened to the rain?

The tip of a long gleaming sword is one inch from my _dry_ chest. I can see him clearly. Long black leather...silver hair..pale skin...a blank cold expression...green cat-like eyes. _He's not moving._ He glows; in a flash he fades into zeros and ones. I'm alone again. The pain is gone. At least I'm not dead..hehe..

Sara.

"You could have told me it would be_ Sephiroth_ of all choices..I'm not hopped up on Mako y'know!" I jumped up. An instant feeling of falling washed over me. I stumbled for the exit. Ouch. "Even if that was Artificial Intelligence it felt real. Why am I not bleeding?"

_"I healed you." _her disembodied voice answered simply. Like hell_. _

Somehow I walked out; my breathing increased suddenly instead of slowing. Sara is not the only one in the control room. Two things happened: the sword retracted and turned back into a solid blade. A smug grin tugged at my lips when I looked in his direction. I admit, wholeheartedly, that I know he just has to be impressed. I'm daring him to look at me.

And he does..

He raises an eyebrow.

For no reason at all, I realize how dry my lips are. I trace them with the tip of my tongue, thoughtlessly.

His eyes narrow.

"That was amazing Elena! See that's what I like..innovation, I'm writing the stats down so fast..that blade will be perfect!"

Huh?

The present came rushing back. I looked away first, my cheeks grew hot.

"How do you feel?"

He looked away first. I feel warm and exposed. How long was he watching? Was he impressed? Please say he was impressed! Rufus Shinra being impressed with me is the stuff that dreams are made of. I'm not saying I want him to be. Anyone at Shinra, especially my boss and my boss's boss giving me a compliment is huge. I can file it away in my personal accomplishments. Sure, he hasn't actually _said anything to_ me, he's just looking over Sara's shoulder at a monitor where I'm sure--

"Elena? Are you okay? Sweetie, you look dazed."

Whuh?

Tearing my eyes from him isn't easy. I jumped, realizing Sara was standing beside me. Oh.

"No um..I'm okay." lying tasted like air. What is Rufus doing right now? Watching us? I want to know but I have to pay attention. That's what the snake of Eden would want me to do: look at him. He wants me to go cow-crazy over him for his own amusement and just when my 'neurotic' tendencies get the best of me and the proof of my XX status is clear he'll leave me hanging. Or maybe it's just a coincidence. Yes. It's not like he plans these things. But how can it be on a whim? Shinras don't do things on whims.

"Elena?"

Blink.

"Sorry.." my face grew warm.

She nodded and a knowing smile twinkled in her brown eyes—what does she know? Her hand landed softly on my shoulder, she leaned in; muttering discretely.

"I was shocked when he joined me too. Apparently he was in this area, probably something to do with Scarlet, and his interest got peaked. Very intimidating to say in the least. Lucky us. Your talent, my creation, and hopefully his approval. Not bad for a day."

Almost as quickly as she did it, she slipped away, her eyes darting over my shoulder. "I'm going to be right back."

Back? My mind is still trying to grasp that Rufus actually spent minutes of his valuable life watching _me_. Sara slipped the sword from my hands, smiled, and strolled away and out of a nearby door. _Alone_. What now? Should I...

"S-sir.." I stepped forward. What if he doesn't want to be bothered? I stepped back. "Sir? What...what did you think?"

His gaze met mine again. " Come over here and I'll tell you. You said you weren't afraid of me, so why are you hesitating?" he's _challenging _me.

Instantly, I obeyed. Suddenly I feel unfit to be near his immaculate perfection with my mussed up hair and glistening (women _glisten._ We don't sweat!) like a buttered up turkey. Standing near him I don't' know what to say once again.

"...did...you like what you saw sir?"

"Of course." the way he said it just has to have a double meaning.

My face felt warm suddenly. "Oh..thank you sir..you have no idea how happy that makes me."

_Fidget. _Half of me wants to ask him to play the image of me getting my ass kicked by a computer generated Sephiroth, the other half wants to slap me. What to say now? He's getting up, dusting himself off, and about to leave. I can't just let him leave like that! I should say something, yes I should.

"Sir?"

His steps ceased and he turned around slightly with a raised eyebrow. I can't get flustered now, just say something. Anything.

"....um...I.."

He waited.

And then Sara returned, carrying a clipboard and marking off things. Relief rushed through me. He inclined his head slightly, a small smirk curved his lips and with that he turned away from me and made his way out. I stood there, watching him leave. _Were we just flirting?_

_

* * *

  
_

Man..." Reno sighed running a hand through his flaming hair. I knew that sigh. It was Reno's patented "I'm going to get sloshed tonight" sigh.

He was leading the way with Rude walking neatly beside him and me bringing up the rear. Tseng had been with us but decided to stay behind when the chopper landed, he said he had other things to do. We were just returning from an assignment to Junon that ended up taking longer than expected. I didn't mind but Reno sure in hell did. Maybe it's because he doesn't have nicotine?

"Rude...man lets get out of here..." Reno tapped his EMR against his shoulders.

"Hmm.." came Rude's agreeing reply.

"Get out of here" probably means going to a bar. I was beginning to pick up on Reno's careless words that he used often. Maybe one day I'll pick up on all of his traits. Whether I do or not, I should probably give him his cigarettes, I'd forgotten all about them until he slapped some ShinRa worker on the way up. He claims the guy is always hitting on him. I can see why Reno would be subjected to getting hit on by guys sometimes.

"Hey, Reno..." I prodded him on the back. "I think I forgot to give these to you."

He stopped. I held out the carton. Without wasting time, he whipped them from my hands and then peered at it with intense scrutiny. I changed a confused look with Rude's sunglasses. Wordlessly, I asked if Reno was serious. Rude nodded and replied silently that I should not try to understand him. A few moments later he made a 'tsk' sound and ran a hand through his hair.

"I guess I'll take them."

"Like hell you will, I had to run back and forth seven times for you."

I covered my mouth. Rude cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. Reno grinned. Okay so does this mean he likes being snapped at?

"Look, Laney, you should come hang out with us tonight." Reno draped an arm around me.

Drawing my lip into my teeth I thought on it. I was hoping he wasn't going to invite me along because if he did I could not possibly say no. It wasn't because I was afraid of them or something, it's because that's what they do and technically they're the only people I get to hang out with since I see them everyday.

"Uh.." I looked away. What could I say, what kind of lie could I possibly come up with to deter his attention from me? "Because Tseng...needs me to ...finish lots of work tonight."

"I don't remember saying that."

"Sir...?" I turned around slowly. Sure enough, Tseng had slipped up at some point and was in the process of entering his office.

Reno snorted. Rude cleared his throat and left us in the hall by going into his own office. My face burned.

"Sir, of course you didn't ..say that...I was..."

Reno's arm left my shoulders. He patted me on the head. "I'll see you in the morning chick." and with that he left me alone in the hall.

"Sorry, sir. I just didn't ...I was trying to..." I faltered.

He shook his head and pulled out his cellphone. "I know what you were doing."

"You do?"

I almost missed the corners of his mouth turn up in what could be seen as a smile. This is brain breaking stuff, he's smiled at me twice in a day! Sure it's just a polite, social smile, but it's still a smile.

"Yes."

"Oh." I ran a hand through my hair, unsure of what to say. Maybe I should go hug him really tight and then –hehe wait.

"Have a good night Elena. Try to get some sleep when you're done." he disappeared into his office and shut the door.

Sometimes I'd like to see myself as two forces working together in one mind. One of those forces wishes she could just simply obey Tseng's suggestion and get some sleep right now, but the dominate one would not let her until she finished her report about the day. I wouldn't call myself a workaholic but I _do_ have something to prove. I let my office stay dark and simply sat at my desk and turned to the computer. There was a stack of paperwork I technically had to complete too and I would have done it earlier but I was on assignment. I wouldn't have this much if I didn't stupidly offer to do Reno's and Rude's when they asked me to. They never asked me directly, it was always implied and I always want to help. Touching my mouse slightly, the resting computer turned itself back on, the monitor smoothly flashed to life. I didn't bother to turn on the lights in my office, and used the monitor's light as my sole luminescence. I double clicked the word program and stared at the white screen and the blinking cursor.

"One day technology will be so advanced that this thing will just hack into my brain and create the words itself."

Before I could start there was a soft knock.

"Hmm?" I didn't bother to turn around, there were only three people currently present in this hall and half of the ShinRa staff had already went home. I began typing while waiting for whomever to answer me.

"We're gone Elena, Tseng already left."

I smiled slightly for no reason in particular. "Okay Rude, I'll be fine."

"Okay." I added. "Oh and Rude?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure you're the designated driver, friends don't let idiots drive drunk."

Rude chuckled, I liked how he laughed. His laughter wasn't annoying like Scarlet's or Heidegger's. It was deep and comforting. "I'll keep that in mind."

He left then, I could hear him relaying my message to Reno as they walked down the hall further away from me. Reno's reply was a loud laugh. My grin got bigger. _Score one for me._

And then it was silent on the halls. I stopped typing and pulled my slim silver mp3 player from my bottom desk drawer. I loved this little thing, it was so easy to tune out people with it..but I rarely used it in the office. How would that look? Listening to music like some crazy teenager when I'm supposed to be working? Definitely not a good impression.

I pushed the bud earphone's in my ears and turned it on and got back to work. I nodded my head in tune to some songs, and sung along to others. The words flowed out of my fingers and onto the screen, something is mildly funny about talking about dramatic covert work while listening to a song about how much a singer is in love with some guy and can't help herself. Three five-minute songs later and my report was done. I glanced at the paperwork again.

"I promise I'll do it tomorrow." a yawn escaped. It's _late_.

I printed the file, slipped it in a folder, and left it on my desk and left the office. Down the stairs I went, and luckily didn't tumble down any of them. When I reached the lobby I realized something was _off._

"My keys.."

An image of them sitting by the computer flashed across my mind. Crap. Now I have to go all the way back upstairs and get them?! With a growl of frustration I whipped around and marched back up the stairs, retracing my steps. The halls were darker than usual, the lights usually were dimmed during the later shifts, I turned a corner and slammed into a shadow I hadn't noticed before.

"We've got to stop meeting like this, Elena." the _shadow _said.

My heart raced. Oh shit shit shit Rufus Shinra.

* * *

---

* * *

_**GW08: I guess three times is the charm? I dunno if you guys remember but this was the chapter that I edited twice, the first time it was a Dance Dance Revolution and Someone2003 helped me see that that just wasn't cutting it. The second time I didn't realize something else was wrong. I hope this time I got it right ...finally. A lot of scenes and things were changed in this chapter or added. I took the guys out of the weapons' training because it was so out of place to me now. I feel like this is much better, I just hope you guys don't mind that I let Elena spar with our friendly neighborhood One-Winged Angel. At first I wasn't going to really give her opponent an identity but then I decided that it'd be a bit cool if she got to get her ass kicked by Seph since he **__is_**_ technically part of this story (not so much right here but later..) Another thing I wanted to do was build up the interactions between Elena and Rufus a little more. As I said in the new Ch.3 Author's Note, I feel like their earlier interactions were too far and in between and some were just a bit weird. I wanted it to seem less like Rufus was trying too hard because that was never my intention, it was a mistake. I hope now it's evident that it's a more casual/unintentional/sexy than a "hot poker" kind of sexy. Well anyway I hope you guys liked the redo, I wouldn't mind if you left a review about what you thought, I definitely want to know. The new guys, you guys just review normally. The current readers (who I love so much I swear) you can just tack it on to the review of the next chapter I update, since I doubt any of you read this before you read the newly posted chapter 18. I hope you guys liked the fight scene, it's quite a challenge writing a scene like that in first person point of view.  
_**

**_With that said, be looking for the redoing of chapters 5,6,7, and some parts of 8 and 9. I'll tell you guys when they've been redone._**

**_Now to more important things:_**

**_How did you like "Sephiroth" getting kicked in the crotch?_**

**_And no, those words in italics that I bunched together aren't mistakes.  
_**

* * *


	5. Rain

* * *

Chapter 5

_**Rain**_

* * *

"Oh..oh my gosh..sir..I'm..I...I'll pick those up for you."

To my knees I dropped and started grabbing as many files as I could reach. He doesn't help me this time, I can feel his gaze on me though he is completely silent. Why is this happening to me again? Is this going become some sick pattern where I keep dropping things—or causing him to drop things—while in his presence? This can't be happening to me, I'm going to wake up and realize that I was dreaming. Yep. That's what's going to happen. Maybe I should pinch myself or something and wake myself up? But then I'd look pretty weird pinching myself for no reason if this isn't a dream and judging from the strain on my back from attempting to stretch to grab these last two..stupid..files...this is not a dream. This is real. This is unbearably real. This is definitely my life. Once they're all together I straighten them out and put them back into the folder.

"I'm sorry I ran into you sir."

Oh he doesn't know how sorry I am that I ran into him. I bet he's tired of seeing my face by now. Maybe I haunt in his dreams?

"Well.." I manage to stand and turn back to him. "....here are your ...files..I'm sorry they might be out of order now.....please don't fire me."

He was leaning against a window now, his arms crossed and a slightly amused smirk lingering on his lips. Behind him, the sky was dark and rain was sliding down the window pane. When did it start raining? Oh why do I even care? There are more important things going on right here! He was making no move to retrieve his stuff from me.

"Sir..don't you want your files?" they are like a weight in my hands burning to be released. The sooner he takes them the sooner I can run off with as much dignity as possible and get my keys from upstairs.

His smirk got more defined. "Those aren't mine."

What?

"….then who's are they sir?"

"Yours."

Heat rushed into my face as another image flashed into my mind along with a bolt of lightning outside. _I picked up the file...and had planned on leaving it at Tseng's door...but...I never stopped at Tseng's door....stupid...stupid…stupid!_

"Oh..." A tense laugh escaped me. G_ood job at being an idiot in front of The President, Elena!_ "I...okay..I'm...going to...go now…thank you sir."

"Hold on a second…" he took a step forward. I held my breath. Is he going to fire me for wasting his time and getting in his way? Ohh I can't be fired...I need this job. I will kill something if he fires me. Maybe I'll kill him! Oh…of course not...I'm being irrational. I'll just listen to what he's going to say...I doubt he's going to fire me. I haven't been here long enough.

"Sir?" I hugged the files to my chest and kept my gaze at the ground. "I'm sorry...for wasting your time. I'm sure you were heading off to some important nighttime meeting or something and--"

"Actually, no. I was about to leave."

"Oh..well...yeah...I..sometimes I forget that the company can run without you." I winced. "I mean..not _without you_ sir but like..you don't have to be here all the time; especially late at night. I…of course I didn't mean without you…_literally_--"

There was an exasperated sigh. I bit my lip and fidgeted. What did he want anyway? To watch my internal battle with a front row seat until I finally spontaneously combust and little bits of Elena rains down on him? "I talk too much..I'm sorry..."

"You seem …stressed. Are you okay?" a small, almost invisible smirk still played on his lips. Does he reeeeally care if I'm okay? I'm sure he has far better things to think about than whether or not I'm on the verge of pulling out my hair by the strands.

"Um..yeah. I just.." I hesitated. Do I really want to let my boss know that I sometimes have scatter-brained tendencies? Then again..he probably already knows that.

"You just?"

"Eh...I just left my keys sir. I'm going back to get them.." I thrust a thumb in the opposite direction—the path I plan to take. He just has to dismiss me.

"Well you go do that." he straightened up and walked away.

---

Silently, I cursed my lack of social skills when talking to my superiors that may or may not be of an attractive nature. Then I turned away and took the elevator up to my floor I left the documents on Tseng's door before heading into my own office.

"....okay the keys should be right here..."

Yet they weren't. Everything was in its place but my keys. With a sigh, I dropped to my knees and began a crawling search on the floor; moving things, shoving parts of myself into cramped places, and reorganizing things ultimately yielded nothing but a precious ten minutes wasted where the storm outside was raging at full force. With a storm like this, walking home is out of the question. I _can_ attempt something else though...

Thunder crashed and lightning flashed overhead; rain pelted my ill-held umbrella as my hands worked on the slippery door handle.

"I don't think I thought this through..." I grumbled. "It can't get any worse though..."

* * *

But it did. With a particularly hard tug—and a thought of breaking my window—my umbrella slipped from my hand and the reward was cold rain. Stifling a swear, I ignored the cold sliding down my back, into my scalp, and effectively drenching my suit so that it clung to every part of my body like a slippery second skin. Knowing that this was fruitless, I let go of the handle and brushed stringy strands from my eyes and paced around the car. On the second trip around the passenger window caught my eye; it was down slightly. This meant the interior of my car was getting wet...but more importantly I might be able to slip my wrist through the tiny opening and unlock the door! My fingers and most of my hand slid in effortlessly. The problem came with my forearm. My fingers hung close enough to the lock, just not close _enough _to grip it and pull it up. Another rumble came from overhead and yet another flash of lightening. Then the sound of tires on pavement and the undeniable, yet soft, hum of a motor. Turning around, a mysterious black expensive looking car with tinted windows purred idly beside me. I bit my lip and pushed my wet hair from my face again.

A window slid down and through the thick blanket of rain I received a shock.

"...R..Rufus, sir?" I couldn't believe my eyes. But sure enough, the person in the—warm dry nice interior—car was none other than The President with those cold blue eyes and handsome white attire. There was no mistaking that. Further proof came when he lifted a casual hand from the steering wheel and pushed golden hair from his face—only for it to fall back again.

"What happened to your keys?"

Rain continued to blind me, and soak through my clothes and skin, sending involuntary shivers through me. I feel like a drowned rat and I'm sure I look even worth. My bottom lip trembled from cold, I bit it mostly to stop it before ended up looking like a lost five year old on the brink of tears.

"I...I couldn't find them so...I contemplated breaking into it by..popping the lock or something." I stared at the ground and the ripples forming around my feet. "Sir...I'm sorry for my appearance. I dropped my umbrella...."

"Yesall minor details." He waved a hand. "Come. Get in."

"Get...in, sir?"

"Yes. Don't make me beg." a small smirk appeared.

"B-but sir..." half of me wanted to jump in but the other side was hesitant. This is Rufus _Shinra_ and I'm going to mess up the interior of his car with my wetness. "But..I.."

A brilliant bolt of lightning flashed overhead, sending a momentary blindness into my eyes as it lit the parking lot.

"Elena. It's doing you no good standing out here. And if you are worried about ruining the upholstery....don't be. There are more where this one came from." he seemed patient.

I thought this out. True, I've heard of his arsenal of vehicles on the grounds…so maybe it's okay?

"Why do you have so many?"

He doesn't strike me as the rich splurging type, oddly enough.

"For security reasons, they say." he rolled his eyes. " 'Never have the same one twice'. " he shrugged. "Now, are you coming? If not..."

"No! Wait. Okay...I'm coming. Thank you so much sir."

In seconds, I ran around to the other side and pulled at the slippery door handle. The interior light came out and despite the rain pouring down my back; I took a split second to admire the cream colored leather seats.

"Well are you going to get in?" his cold blue stare brought me back to reality.

"Oh..yeah! I'm sorry..I'm..yeah.." the painfully loud squeaks from water and leather—how mortifying!—made me wince as I slid into the warm interior of his car and shut the door putting us instantly into darkness. I stared at my lap and bit my lip.

Silence. My wet hair dripped into my lap.

_Ask him something! NO! I can't! Tell him thank you...again! No..I might say something stupid! Apologize for wetting up his car! No! He said not to worry about it…what can I say?! I can't just be silent the whole time! I have to say something!!_

"…um…sir...you know..you didn't have to do this."

He chuckled deliberately. "You're right. I could have just let you smash the window of your car and find a way in. I'm sure that was your intention right? Or were you going to just stand out there looking like a helpless wet dog?"

Despite the cold skyrocketing through me, heat rushed into my face.

"……Good point sir.." I mumbled, pulling skin from my lip with my teeth.

I leaned against the door and stared out of the window into the thick blanket of rain. The most I could see was blurry street lights and stoplights. Maybe..maybe something else completely out of the ordinary will happen? I mean he's already invited me to his office to actually consume_ food_ with him and now he's let me in his car without any business-y reason? Maybe he's fallen madly in love with me and he'll propose at the end of the road and we'll elope on Costa Del sol and then when we return he'll tell everyone that I'm the new vice president of ShinRa.

Yeah...right. That'll happen right after Rude grows hair.

I stayed silent instead of saying anything else. Soon I discovered that staring out of the window wasn't going to yield much interest and it had very little to do with the fact that the thick blanket of rain obscured my vision of the city...not that seeing buildings go by was actually worth watching. Then my attention caught two fat raindrops sliding down the window. They were neck and neck and I was sure it would be a tie until "Rude" got too close to "Reno" and they became a super raindrop together. Thus it ended in a lackluster tie.

_Say something! Stuff like this doesn't happen often..._

"…sir...you've been really nice to me lately."

_Not that!_

Rufus laughed softly and muttered something under his breath. I bit my lip and fumbled with a loose fingernail.

"Have I? I didn't notice."

"Well…."

"Maybe.." he ran his fingers rhythmically on the steering wheel. "…I am doing this because I expect something out of it. Perhaps an ulterior motive?"

"I—"

He chuckled darkly and ran his free hand through his hair; it fell elegantly back into place. "Surely the thought crossed your mind."

Once again, I nibbled my lip almost unconsciously. He was right, it definitely had crossed my mind several times and every time it did I'd push it far far away. In my defense, the thoughts were such light whispers that I barely paid any attention to them. "….No..not really sir."

"'Not really'." He glanced at me as we passed another streetlight; his blue eyes narrowed. " Do you always do that?"

We came to a stop at a red light. I looked away and ahead down the winding stretch of slick road. "…Do..what..sir?"

"That thing with your bottom lip."

I hesitated, and stared at the light. _Change damn it!_

"No..it's….just a nervous habit sir...I don't even realize I do it sometimes.." I fingered my I.D. badge.

We were moving again. He was silent; he seemed to be taking in my words. I risked a glance-okay a stare- in his direction. The light from the streets revealed he was smirking slightly. Such a sexy-

"So you are nervous right now." It was a statement in disguise as a question...or was it a question in disguise as a statement?

"Um...well...yes..." I bit on my lip hard and ran my palms over my thighs. My still quite wet pants felt like a second skin.

"So I make you nervous." his blue eyes flicked over to me again.

"Yes." I answered before I could stop myself. "Not...like...in a bad way...in an um...in a good way." _Oh shut up Elena. Shut up!_

"A good way?" Rufus glanced at the road again and then put his eyes on me. I looked away out of the window, how did I get myself into this one?

"Yeah..." I trailed off, there was no way I was digging my grave and putting the dirt on top too.

"Hmm..I see."

He sees? What does he see?

Silence.

"The storm seems to be getting worse...if that's possible." I didn't want that silence to come back..who knew what he could be thinking and 'hmm I seeing' about. "It hasn't rained like this in ages…I like storms...but I don't like lightning and thunder. I like to sit and watch it sometimes...especially if it's late at night and I can't sleep. Sometimes I read something or something..."

Or something?!

"...and then there are times when I will just lay in bed in the dark and use the moonlight for natural lighting and just stare at the sky and wonder who else is doing the exact same thing. When I was little I used to run around and play in the rain until one day my sister and I really sick and-"

"You also talk even more than normal when you're nervous."

I bit my lip. I am talking to much aren't I? Is he annoyed?

"I'm sorry..."

"In a good way, of course."

I looked up, he was looking at me again, and that amused smirk again was prominent. I blushed.

"A good way..?"

"Yes." he looked back at the road.

"Oh."

Once again there was a lingering silence. I ran a hand through my wet hair and wished quietly that I was dry and didn't in fact look like some wet lower animal that licks its own ass to clean itself.

"……um.." _No just shut up!_

"Yes?"

We turned onto another road, a more familiar one. Quietly, I wished we weren't already so close to my apartment building. How often do I get to be in a confined dark place with Rufus ShinRa? And no I don't mean in that weird dream I had the other night!

"N-nothing.." _Why is it so hot in here?!_

"Well it had to be something otherwise you wouldn't have said it."

"I..no it's nothing sir. I should shut up.."

"That's never stopped you before."

An odd little laugh filled up the silence that followed; sadly that laugh came from me. _Why can't I be DRY right now?! _"…you...you've noticed...sir?"

"Of course." He answered simply.

"…I'm sorry. I do have a tendency to talk a lot. Once my sister almost convinced my grandmother to convince my father to get my head scanned to see if there was some sort of neurological reason why I couldn't keep stop talking once I got started. Sometimes I'd strike up a conversation with strangers just to hear myself talk—at least that's what my sister told grandma—though they might have been on to something. Once it actually came to bite me in the ass because—haha—I approached this strange creepy man that camped out in a hole near our house and I talked to him a lot. He was really nice to me and offered me some weird black stuff but that's when my dad came and dragged me away. Weird really. I guess I do talk too much…I should stop talking so much huh? Like…right..now.."

"Hmm…"

"…yeah I should. Right now I'm thinking to myself that I should shut up before you throw me out of your car. Then again--

"Tell me something Elena, are you enjoying your job?"

"……you're not going to...fire me are you?" _I knew I should have shut up!_

"No."

"Oh.." I stared at my lap and thanked the heavens that it was too dark in this car for him to see the heat rising painfully to my face. "Um it's great sir. Reno, Rude, and Tseng are really…something. Rude is really quiet. Reno is..well..uh.."

_How do I describe him.…_

"You'll figure out a colorful enough adjective soon, I'm sure." He chuckled softly.

A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. So maybe I won't have to kick myself repeatedly for being a complete ass right now! "Yeah…"

'_Yeah'? Who says that?! For once Elena has nothing to say?!_

"You never told me what you wanted to say, Elena."

"Oh! Yeah...um..." I stared out of the window again, unable to look over at him for fear I'd self destruct. "I was just wondering…um.." I wracked my brain. What was it what was it?! "Oh! Yeah..sir..um..sir..I was…sir…wondering how you like…well...your job. You know…being President now."

There was a type of thoughtful sigh. "Hmm…there is no real difference from my old position. My father was a fool."

"Heh..."

"..but I must say, the best part is observing the undercurrent of disdain when the certain executives have to answer to someone half their age." He laughed derisively.

"Oh…I..I guess that would be…" what can I say? I can't talk disdainfully about my superiors! He can, he's the President, but I can't! I don't even really know them! They barely look my way! Maybe I should just…change the subject a little. "So...um...things are getting pretty busy lately huh,sir?"

"Not yet. Though…they should be.." he looked over at me at the same time I looked up, meeting my gaze dead-on. "Getting …_interesting _while we wait..."

"Interesting…sir?" _Something about the way he said that..._

"Yes, very." He turned his attention to the road again.

"Gah, he's such a…interesting man...I can barely take my eyes off him..."

"I'm flattered, Elena."

_NO! NO! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD!!_

"Nononononoonono I did not just say that out loud!"

"I'm afraid you did."

"Nononono I did not say _that _out loud too-"

Silence struck me as warmth covered my hand that was currently clutching my wet pants. I looked up to see his blue eyes looking down at me and free hand covering mine. Something unintelligible escaped my lips. Along the lines of _Bwugh.._

"You should relax. It's not life or death, Elena."

You're touching my hand and you're saying that?! DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU ARE?!

"Right...right...not...not life or death…not life or death….or…well…life....or death...really...because...it...well…if it was life then it'd be…but….you mean…that it's not a life or death thing…but….quite frankly sir—"

_SHUT UP!_

"—I don't think you realize that it's quite impossible to relax right now...at least for me. You see...you're freaking me out…."

_I'M DYING INSIDE!_

There was a soft chuckle and I felt my hand get lifted from my lap. I looked up to see my knuckles close to his lips.

"That's a good thing I hope?"

"I..I..shouldn't you be paying attention to the road?"

A slow deliberate smirk materialized on his lips. "We stopped five minutes ago outside of your apartment."

_We….we did?!_

"Oh..omg..I'm so sorry.." I made a move to unlatch myself from the seatbelt so I could tear from the car with some sort self-control intact and maybe a little dignity! But..he didn't let my hand go. "..Um..sir..I..I should go..you have stuff to do and..and and…well..and…I'm soaking wet..and…well….you..you're holding my hand…"

His gaze fell to my hand. "Yes, I'm aware of that."

"Hahehehhahahhhaheheh..okay..then..you should probably…uh..well…let it go? Unless you plan on keeping me...ha…ha…"

_Shut up!!_

"Perhaps I should..."

"Ha..ha..ha..ha..that..that…well..that's funny sir."

_SHUT UP !!!_

"I wasn't trying to be funny."

"Ha..ha…….ha…" came a weak uncertain laugh.

"I'm being serious."

_I'M LOSING MY MIND!_

"…that...that...that's entirely inappropriate sir."

"I guess this is too then?"

Before I could ask what he meant, he lowered his lips softly to my knuckles, sending an electric shiver through my veins that had nothing to do with the cold. A gasp escaped me. " Y..yeah that..that would be considered…inappropriate too.." am I being coy? I hope I'm being coy!

He merely chuckled deeply and released my hand smoothly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Elena."

It was almost as if what just happened didn't just happen; he was completely unruffled by it. I nodded and grabbed for the door handle. "You know..you ..didn't have to do this.."

"I know."

_Why won't' the door open?!_

"Then..um.." I can't just snatch it! "Why did you sir?"

I'm trapped!

"Well, of course I wanted to get you alone with me."

_What?! What?! He's joking isn't he!? I know he has a sarcastic way sometimes. He was definitely messing with my head. Right?_

That logic didn't stop me from trying a little harder to free myself from the straps while keeping a "cool" composure.

"What do you mean ..sir?"

This door! Come on now! Why are my hands unable to do something so simple like open a door?! If I start jerking at it he'll think I'm crazy!

"I'll let you come to **y**our own conclusion."

I jumped slightly. Rufus' voice was close to my ear, unless he could throw his voice..he was leaning towards me. He moves fast.

"I..I.."

My heart was thumping rapidly against my ribs begging to be freed from its cage so it could smash through the windshield and run off laughing down the rain slicked streets. I bit my bottom lip hard, pretty sure I was going to draw blood, and totally forgot my mission of opening the door and escaping to my apartment so I can slap myself in private.

"The..I…the door won't open…"

"You should probably unlock it first."He chuckled softly; so devishly close to my ear!

And then thunder rumbled over us and lightening flashed. My gaze zoned in on the lock that clearly needed to be _unlocked. _Oh..

"Good night, Elena."

"Goodnight...sir." I managed to speak while scrambling out of the car and into the rain.

I ran through the downpour, digging in my pockets for the keys, to the front door, without looking back. When I finally looked back, Rufus was already gone. Running a hand through my soaked hair, I exhaled. I haven't breathed since I got in his car have I?! Oh gods..this is so..

"…shut up..that's all I had to do.." I muttered, going inside the lobby and tracking water all over the floor and stairs. I rode the elevator up to my apartment, dripping the entire way. Luckily, no one else got on. Unlocking the door I quickly went inside and shut it. Leaning against it I exhaled again and closed my eyes. I ran my fingers lightly over my 'kissed' hand.

"That hadn't happened.." I stared into the darkness of my living room. That didn't happen. Why would it? He was just uh…yes! It was a total accident!

I was lying to myself wasn't I? When has Rufus Shinra ever done anything accidentally? But..why?

"I can't deal with that right now.." I flung my keys on the coffee table. It hit the surface with a satisfying clang. Going down the hallway I kicked off my boots in the process. If I didn't get out of these wet clothes I was going to be sick. I went into my room, heading straight for the closet, and pulled out my favorite dark blue pajamas.

Wow I look like hell.

My blond hair had gotten dark from the rain, it was in stringy ringlets all over head and the majority fell into my eyes. I looked incredibly tired and worried all at the same time.

"Oh, Elena, you're taking this far too seriously..he was just being nice and decided to take you home..no big deal.." my reflection spoke to me. I nibbled my bottom lip and grabbed my comb off the counter. I ran it through my hair twice and pulled it into a short slick ponytail.

Then I sneezed.

"And now I'm sick.." I sighed, I wasn't the kind of person that just got a cold and it went away in a few hours. When I got a cold it turned into a two week long ordeal. I hadn't gotten sick in three years. "Note to self...buy cold medicine tomorrow."

* * *

The only light in my room came from the random flashes of lightning. I glanced at the clock—telling me it was already 2 in the morning—and pushed myself further into the warmth of my sheets.

_Go to sleep..go to sleep..go to sleep!_

With a moan of disgust, I pressed my pillow firmly over my head and closed my eyes tightly. I wonder..what is Rufus doing right now? Is he asleep? What does he look like when he's sleeping? Will he talk to me tomorrow about tonight (last night?) or will he continue to treat me like I'm just that new Turk. Something tells me though….

He might have been making a point about me wondering if he had an ulterior motive but he probably does. My mother always said that people don't do something unless there's a reason behind it. And then there are people like the ShinRa. I wonder..what could he possibly want with me?! Or maybe he was just being nice..

"…Rufus Shinra doesn't …_just_ be nice.." I rolled over to my side and stared out of the window into the rainy darkness; only being lit up by the silver that struck across the sky from time to time.

_What am I getting myself into?_

* * *

_**Gw08: I had lots of fun writing (and rewriting) this chapter. Please leave reviews my children! How else will I know what you think?**_

* * *


	6. Completely Inappropriate!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Completely Inappropriate!!

* * *

What do I look like from another person's eyes when I stumble, fall, and end up almost getting myself trampled by a monster?Especially one in particular that I accidentally alerted to our presence on today's mission? Like an ass I'm sure. Or, maybe by the one of many nicknames that Reno has given me: Rookie. It's actually the mildest of the negative nicknames he could have given me and I've been called much worse. He sometimes calls me Laney but that's only when he's up to something. I mean, he couldn't possibly be attempting to treat me like one of them. It's only him and Rude and Tseng. I can't help but wonder;Do they see me as a little stupid? I didn't mean to make so many mistakes today on our assignment. I'm glad that Tseng wasn't there to see it. Maybe I can redeem myself by staying silent until we get back. Or at least that's what I'm hoping.

With my legs tucked close to the door and my cheek pressed against the cool glass of the helicopter that's reentering Midgar's airspace I'm almost certain that I have successfully turned myself into part of the seems to be working because Reno and Rude don't seem to be paying me any attention. This is a good thing I guess since that would mean having to endure more of Reno's …Renoisms. His Renoisms are good except when my head feels like it's near the final countdown to an explosion. A headache that I didn't have until I was out in freezing rain the other night. I haven't gotten a cold since I was like twelve. But, I can't be completely unhappy with this because I spent actual minutes in a closed in space with Rufus Shinra. He probably thought nothing of it but I sure did. Can he blame me? He's Rufus Shinra. I mean yeah I know he's human and all but there's something about him suddenly paying attention to me and actually _actually_ offering my a ride that'll make any girl wonder what's going on. And wonder I have. I wonder how _he _sees me. So far, the worst thing I've done in front of him was look like a drowned puppy but I am sure it'll get worse. It always does. My first impressions have ranged from "who? I don't remember her." To "Ohhh you're the dumb blond girl that ran into a glass window yesterday!"

I'd kill to be able to read his mind. Or..maybe not. If I read his mind then I'll know just what goes through his head when we happen to run into each other.

_Maybe I should ask the guys what they think about all this._

I opened my eyes slowly, glancing at the city far below. Reno and Rude are in a 'conversation' (Reno was the only one talking) and Reno is digging in his pocket for something, while his other hand controlled the helicopter. I _should_ be afraid that he'll crash into something and we'll die in a fiery explosion but…

"Hey guys—"

"Hey Rude?"

I bit my tongue and closed my eyes. Rude responded in his deep calm voice. How he manages to take any question Reno asks with such collected demeanor is a mystery to me. I always freak out when he's about to ask me something. Normal things hardly ever come out of Reno's mouth and I doubt this time will be an exception.

"Hmm?"

"If you were gay who'd you screw?"

Point proven.

"What?" Rude's voice didn't sound as surprised as my face looked in my reflection. He's used to Reno's weird questions.

"You heard."

That's just a weird question to ask someone. I rose halfway off my perch to allow both ears listening space.

"......"

"Lame." Reno laughed.

We were back in Midgar, getting ready to touch down on a helicopter pad.

They continued to talk as we got out of the helicopter, with Reno being adamant about getting an answer from Rude. He kept throwing out suggestions but Rude refused to answer. They left me out of the conversation; I lugged a few things from the helicopter and followed up behind them, trying to figure out a way to join the chat. But what can I contribute to a conversation like that?! Reno will probably say something perverted anyway. I can only imagine where he cooks up half the crazy stuff in his head. Maybe I can try to find out one day if they let me. They're the only people I see most of the time at work. If only I can get Reno to stop calling me 'rookie'.

"Hey rookie, what do you think?"

"Who..me?"

"Yeah, Laney, you." Reno kept walking alongside Rude. I rushed to catch up, excited that he wants my input despite how weird it all is. I can even get used to Laney being a nickname. Its better than Crazy Lame-y.

Dumb kids and their stupid 'clever' nicknames. Just because I scaled a 10 foot landmark to chase a guy who'd crawled up there running from me. Just because I broke his nose and he was the most 'cutest' boy in the neighborhood (until I broke his nose). Just because I was five and he was twelve when it happened. He started it. I finished it. They should have been worshiping me not pelting me with snowballs.

"....well.." I cleared my throat while falling into step with them (and holding back from skipping). "......I dunno. I...I don't really have options."

Reno 'tche'd'. I sighed inwardly, I'm so boring I couldn't even answer that. I had a few options right? Like maybe....

"Um..Scarlet?"

He snorted, casting a blue eyed glance in my direction.

"Way out of your league."

"Hey! Maybe she's out of mine!"

Scarlet, the big breasted probably forty-something golden blond bombshell executive that always wore questionable red outfits and pumps would never be my 'type'. Twice she almost sat on me claiming she didn't see me. She's always glaring out at people from under her too long eyelashes and her long curved red nails scare me. Not to mention she's vindictive. But every time I find it hard to believe she's the head of the Weapon's Department she makes it clear why she is. It wasn't just the red dress but the man parts and souls she probably crushed getting her position. So yes, while I can respect her I could never want her..._hypothetically._

But why are we having this conversation anyway?

Oh I know: Reno.

"You're right, Laney." he reached over and took the big black bag I was holding. "You're way cuter." a sly grin crept on his lips making him appear sultry, cunning, and cat-like all at once.

Did I mention he unnerves me at times?

"Right." I quickly stare at my feet. Heat rushes up in my face, creeping from my neck to my cheeks. "Whatever...you hit on everyone..."

I felt his hand on my shoulder. "No I don't. You are like a sister or somethin' to me..."

"Uh huh..."

"............."

"Which brings me back to you Rude. Dude, now you know what. I'm gonna be honest..."

I looked up; Rude opened the door to the roof. We headed down a short flight of stairs and headed toward a silver elevator. I winced inwardly and slowed down letting them pass by.

I hate elevators. I don't know when it started but I've always hated them. Is it the motion? Maybe. But I know if I get on that with them I might...hyperventilate or worse. I'd never hear the end of _that! _I'll be come that Turk-That-Swooned-That-Time-On-The-Elevator. Not good.

"....I'd choose you, man..." Reno was saying.

The elevator opened for them ad they stepped on. Rude held it open for me. A smile twitched on my lips at the gesture. He noticed!

"You coming?" he asked.

I shook my head and waved, wishing I could avoid answering. "I'll...uh...take the stairs..."

He left it at that. The doors closed. It's pretty quiet on the hall. I feel a little lonely all of a sudden. The contrast of their voices compared with the silence was apparent. I headed toward the door marked stairwell and pushed it open.

"Elena...!"

Am I hearing things?

"Elena...hey..."

I whipped around. Sara. Coming toward me briskly down the hall with clacking black knee length boots and long dark hair billowing around her. She's so pretty.

"Hey...Sara...um..." What's her last name?

"Lorcan." she smiles gently and stops, her light brown eyes are so warm; she's the nicest person I know here. How in the world does she work for Scarlet? "How are you?" her arms are crossed over a folder that reads CONFIDENTIAL in red letters.

"Don't you always wonder if that's reverse psychology?" The packet intrigues me. Things that tell me not to do something makes me want to do it that much more.

She tilts her head to the side slightly. "What? Asking how someone is doing?" her laugh is light and uncertain. Suddenly I feel like a moron. I should explain.

"The 'Confidential'..." I pointed. "It's like...if whatever in there was so important, why would they draw attention to it by putting that? It's the unsuspecting documents that'll fly under the radar. This'll just make people 99% more likely to peek."

"....good point..." her earrings shook with her light laughter.

"Or maybe." I placed my hands at my hips. "That's the idea. To outsmart. Maybe they want you to think it's not important so you won't think it is...or maybe! This is just a decoy."

"I guess that's why you're the Turk, Elena." she put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"Guess so. Though I...I'm not too great yet..."

"Oh?" she pushed the stairwell door open and we went in together.

In so many words I find myself expressing my concern that I'd never live up to the expectations I'm sure are on me based on the fact that my sister was a Turk and a damn good one from what I hear. I had no intention of expressing all this to her but down the echo-y private stairwell I felt like I could. She's just so easy to talk to. It's nice having someone—female—to talk to.

"...oh...Elena." she leaned against a door that would lead us to floor '6—something' and handed me the folder. "Here.."

I watched as she fished a pen from her long white lab coat pockets and took my hand. The felt pen top tickled my hand to the point of internal conflict. It awakened nerves and I started to giggle. When it stopped there was a string of black numbers etched into my palm.

"Your phone number?" a stupid grin dared to emerge. "Either that or the codes to some safe.."

She retrieved the package, put the pen away, and tucked her hair back in one motion. "Sure, why not? Maybe we can chat sometimes." she shrugged lightly.

"Yeah we can!!"

Too enthused!

She laughed softly. "Good. Sometimes these people get on my nerves. It'll be nice to talk to someone else other than Weapons people and the occasional secretary or a random guy hitting on me."

"I can't relate to that last part..." I followed her out. We walked side by side. She's taller than I am. "I haven't been hit on yet! Probably because I have the body of a twelve year old boy."

I felt her hand on my back lightly. "You're beautiful. And trust me...here you will get hit on at least once a week eventually."

"Maybe they avoid me because I'm a Turk..."

If so, they're wise! I've kicked countless guys in the crotch. If it's not teaching some frisky bar patron in the slums a lesson it's another thing. Sometimes it's just out of spastic surprise tehehe!

"Maybe. But don't you work with Reno?"

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Yeah...."

"Then most likely you've already been hit on..." she took her hand from my back.

"You know Reno?" as soon as it comes out I feel stupid. Of course she knows Reno. He's a Turk and he's crazy. Most people seem to at least know who he is.

She waved it off. "I've seen him a few times but never really talked to him. Not really. Though, I've seen him flirting around..." she chuckled lightly. "He's nice-looking but..." she trailed off.

"Yeah?" I pressed. Having extra insight on Reno and Rude would be great.

"...eh...nothing. I don't know." she stopped at a corner. People were milling around.

This floor is a bit unfamiliar.

"Well, see you later Elena. I have to deliver this to Heidegger. He's hard to find at times."

I watched her go and sighed, heading for the first elevator I saw. After a two minute wait of watching other employees go by the door opened and two men in an ugly greenish suit and a gray suit walked by. They glanced at me. I narrowed my eyes. They looked away quickly, seeming panicked. I smirked to myself but this smugness at their reaction faded soon when the doors opened. Good thing it's empty.

My floor lit up under my finger and a sense of dread washed over me. I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate elevators. Nothing good will come from this other than me turning green. Good thing no one else is in here with me. I won't have to conceal my terror and can cling to the walls as much as I like.

I step in with a sigh of relief and stumble backward to the nearest corner. With a sickening lurch it moves downward in what feels like its taking forever. I wince and hold on to the metal bars trying not to remind myself that half of this elevator is made of glass (I always seem to end up on the glass ones!) and that logically the likelihood of something like falling almost sixty stories to my death probably won't happen in an elevator because they are well maintained by Shinra maintenance.

To my horror it stopped again; quickly I straighten myself out, and stop from slowly sinking to the floor and fix my suit before it settled to a vomit inducing stop and the doors slid open to reveal...

"Tseng...sir...hi.."

Tseng. The last person I'd want to see me cowering on the floor in a heap for fear the bottom of this death trap might fall out. He says hello to me while putting away his phone. His gorgeous black hair isn't enough to make me feel better but I attempt a smile as the doors close behind him.

An unpleasant lurch and pull downward makes me wince. A groan of displeasure escapes before I can stop it, my legs feel weak. I tighten my grip on the metal handrail and lean against the glass. He didn't see that did he?

"Are you okay, Elena?"

Okay so maybe he did.

My face burns instantly in embarrassment; I nod, trying to wipe the grimace from my face. "Just a little....freaked out is all."

Usually, I'd like to be stuck somewhere with Tseng but this is not the time nor the place for me to fully appreciate his presence. I just hope I don't throw up on him.

"Is it the heights or the elevator?"

"Elevator...definitely...." I peeked over my shoulder. The city was so far away, the layout of the land is the big picture as well as an endless dreary sky that seems as if I could fall into it. I quickly look away, feeling disconnected from gravity. "Maybe both...a little.." I laughed lamely.

"You'll get over it." he said with authority. Maybe he hated elevators too? Somehow I can't see that.

I look up at him, catching his dark brown eyed gaze. A grin-mace twitches on my lips. "I'll take your word for it, sir." a weak laugh escaped me.

The elevator stopped again- I twitched involuntarily before taking a deep breath.

"It's over Elena...you can open your eyes."

I hadn't realized they were shut!!

"Right." I followed him out.

"By the way Elena, I'm going to need a full report from you about this afternoon." he said before disappearing into his office.

I waited for him to shut the door before figuring out how to respond. I stared at my own feet moving down the hall from his office, hoping that this position would ward off a potential Reno coming out of his office to harass me. The other day he waited until I walked by and then jumped out of his door screaming "Danger!!". What I should have done was kick him in his nice places or abuse him somehow. Instead I screamed quite like how my gender is known for, flung files into the air, and fell backwards into Tseng who was coming by. So now I know better. But he didn't come out, his door was half open and he was drinking something in a foam cup and writing furiously. When I passed by he looked up and followed me intently with his eyes until I gave up and looked away. One of these days I'm going to get him. Maybe I can get Rude's help for the job. I'm certain Rude has reasons for friendly vengeance as well.

Rude's door was closed so I knocked just for the hell of it. He told me it wasn't locked. I pushed it open halfway. He was doing his report, typing it up (what _is_ Reno writing then?). He looked up briefly, eyes fully hidden behind the dark glasses. I want to see those eyes one of these days.

"Hey Rude...just wanted to say...uh...hi..."

"Hi." he responded in a low tone (I've never heard him yell before), hardly looking from the screen.

"I'm sorry. I'm bugging you aren't...I.."

"No. It's fine. For a second I thought you'd collapsed on all those stairs..." he chortled slightly.

"Oh....hahaha.." he hardly talks so this is great. Is he getting comfortable with me? "Those are a lot of uh..stairs..."

"They are." he paused to adjust his glasses and resumed typing.

"Yep..." I backed out and shut the door.

I'm so stupid for interrupting him like that.

When I reached my own office I left the door wide open; sat down, moved the mouse around, and cracked my knuckles. I resigned myself to nothing else happening today. I'll just finish my report and go home and sleep unless I'm invited somewhere.

A paragraph into my hopefully highly detailed report, I got a buzz on the intercom. Secretly, I like when that happens, even though it's rare. It makes me feel all important. Which I'm sorta not. But still. The bad thing about that thing buzzing is that usually it's Roslyn. Except for that time when it was Reno being an ass.

"Yeah?"

"The President wants to see you in his office."

"Say what?" I stared at the intercom, certain it had grown two heads in the past minute. Is Roslyn kidding? What did I do? Why does he...want to see me?!

"_The President _wants to_ see you_ in his_ office_." she responded, putting dry emphasis on every other word. I wanted to reach through it somehow and strangle her. Why does she have to be so...dry? Doesn't she realize this is a crisis! What if I'm about to get fired!?

"Why?! Are you positive that's what he wants....." I felt dazed. I said it mostly to myself, not her.

"Pretty much." I can just see her shrugging, rolling her eyes, and looking back at whatever she was doing before that happened.

"What did he say?"

"He said.." I heard papers rustling on the other end. " quote...tell Elena to see me in my office when she returns. End quote. He called in a few minutes before you came. I forgot about it."

"But why?"

"I don't know, go find out."

**

* * *

**

"Oh shut up Elena and just see what he wants."

I could feel Chaminade's eyes following my repetitive path across the floor in front of her desk. She said nothing but the phones in her hand hadn't moved and I could vaguely hear the callers asking if she was still there.

"What are you doing up here?" she finally asked, hanging up on the people she was talking to. I hope those weren't important calls or Rufus will kill her.

I stopped pacing and took a deep breath and tried to smile at her. "Hi, how are you?"

Does she realize I'm not actually going to tell her why I'm up here because I don't know? But then again she wouldn't know that because she can't read my mind.

"I'm busy busy busy, so what are you doing up here?" her eyes stared unblinkingly at me. She's relentless! I would be proud but I'd rather her not be at the moment.

" President Rufus called me up here..." I ran a hand through my hair and tried to seem nonchalant.

She perked up and rested her chin on her hands."He did? Why?" she twirled a pen around her fingers over and over and looked at me. I suddenly feel like I'm being interrogated or interviewed.

"I have no idea."

"How come?" she asked like lightening.

I shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot."Aren't you supposed to be working?"

There was silence. She frowned slightly and seemed to have a conflict going on in her head. Finally she shrugged. "Yeah...let me tell him you're here." She pressed a button with a sigh and tucked a loose strand from her messy bun behind her ear.

"Sir?"

"What is it?" Rufus's cold voice filled the room and sent a chill of dread down my spine. Suddenly I felt sorry for Chaminade, I'm sure she flinches every time she has to interrupt him from whatever he's doing in his office.

"Someone is here to see you." she looked up at me. "Um...Elena....sir.."

There was a significant pause.

"Good. Send her up."

"Of course, sir." she ended the connection and picked up the phone. "I'll pull out the tissues.."

"What?" I stopped and looked back at her. An odd smile was on her face, it was hard to call it a smile because it was so weird. It was more of a frown with a smile hastily thrown in for good measure.

"For when he fires you. This is the second time you've been up to his office..must be a reason behind it. Are you not performing well? He threatened to fire me yesterday actually...just because I fell asleep...on the job." she finished her little confession by poking out her bottom lip in sorrow.

"He is not going to fire me." I shook my head. "But yeah, you should handle that falling asleep thing... people don't like that." I waved at her and tried to seem calm cool and collected.

There's a long hallway separating Chaminade's station and the door to Rufus's office. In the steps it took for me to reach it, my heart rate increased considerably. When I reached his door I sucked in a copious amount of air and knocked. The door opened before I could knock again, I pushed past it and entered the office of Rufus Shinra for the second time in a month.

"Sir?"

My eyes fell on his desk..which was clear and clean as usual. Not even a paper clip was out of place. Rufus stood at the window looking out over the city. I hesitated, wondering if he can hear my heart starting to speed up in ways that had nothing to do with the elevator or stairs. He turned around, walked forward effortlessly, and rested his hands on the back of his chair, idly tracing it. I really just want him to tell me what he wants and if I am fired for some reason (I'll be damned!). Being with him alone Is a little...disconcerting.

"Hello, Elena, shut the door ."

I nodded, silently pressing my hand against the door and closing it completely and suddenly felt like I'd voluntarily imprisoned myself. Despite this,my eyes fell on something that had not been in the room the last time I was up here. A potted plant? There was a nice blue potted plant sitting in the corner giving a strange but really nice new color to the room. A small grin was tugging at my lips in spite of me.

"...a potted plant?"

A soft chuckle came from him. "A potted Blue Hydrangea, actually."

"Oh...you listened to me?"

Rufus Shinra actually took my advice and got a potted plant? Is the world coming to an end?

"Well of course, women have good taste." he said, still watching me.

"Hehehe...not me not usually--"

"Elena." he spoke softly and leaned forward. His hair fell around and into his face framing his sharp blue eyes that were focused on me. "How are you?"

How am I? Is that a trick question? If not, should I answer honestly? Answering honestly means telling him that I'm two seconds from cardiac arrest! Why does it matter?

"I'm...fine...enough...sir...you?"

What else am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him that I stubbed my toe this morning or that I think I'm feeling the after affects of that whole standing in the rain thing? Or maybe I'm supposed to just...maybe it was a rhetorical question.

"Hmm...I'm fine. Though..." he ran a hand through his hair. It's such a smoothly executed move that I hardly notice it.

"Though?"

"You could come closer, Elena." he said airily.

Somehow, I nod and come over to his desk, and thus closer to him. "Well..um..sir thank you for last night by the way, you really didn't--"

"I have quite a problem Elena." he slipped from behind the desk and reached me in seconds.

"Oh...a problem?" so he did actually have professional reasons for calling me. I feel a little disappointed. Here I was thinking he was flirting with me. Guess not. "something I can help you with sir?"

"Actually, yes."

I felt myself look up, with the assistance of his finger lightly beneath my chin. Bwugh!! "S-s..ir?"

He shouldn't he shouldn't he shouldn't!

"I have a proposition for you." a smirk materialized slowly on his lips. His blue eyes seemed full of ...something.

"Really?" I bit my own and tried to maintain eye contact. What proposition?! Is this a test?!

"Do you have plans for...tomorrow night?"

Plans?

"Well.." _he's still touching me!_ "I was thinking about--"

"Ah, then you're free." he cut me off and applied pressure.

"Um, for what?" something about standing here with him touching me seems...

"You haven't' figured it out yet?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Figured.....what out?"

His gaze softened in a way that was incredibly disconcerting. It was as if I was some cute little endearing and confused animal.

"Elena, I don't pay this much attention to everyone."

"....everyone......" I echoed, my mind going blank. Bagh!

"Do you know what this means? You should be honored..."

"Honored...." is he stroking my jaw?!

He stopped and cocked his head to the side. "You're so attractive...in such an odd way...I can't figure it out." he sounds thoughtful.

Attractive?!

I danced out of his reach with a strangled laugh. He calmly sat at the edge of his desk, smirking. What is that supposed to mean?! Attractive?!

"Did I say something wrong?" he brushed his hair from his face again and waited. Smirking.

"You're not allowed...to find me attractive...." the words tumbled from my mouth. This isn't happening! If I pinch myself will he notice?!

He chuckled. "_Allowed?_ I'm Rufus Shinra. I can do whatever I wish." he stood, extending an arm to me.

_This is just like the apple...._

"But..." I stared at it, covered in those nice black fingerless gloves. Rufus Shinra finds me attractive?! Why didn't' I figure this out before?! I thought it was just harmless flirting on a whim to stroke his (and my) ego!!

"But? Admit it, you like the attention."

"I--" I do like the attention but I can't just admit that. Honestly, I looked forward to little interludes with him. Didn't expect this to happen though!

"And right now you want to take my hand, so do it. Nothing will happen."

"....yeah..."

"Much."

Not really hearing the last part, I stumbled forward and lifted my suddenly heavy hand and rested it in his. He took it and stood, tipping my chin up to him all in one swift move. My heart throbbed in my ears. Oh gosh what am I doing?! What about Tseng?! And..he's my boss! I'm agreeing to something that I don't even know what I'm agreeing to!

"....what now....?"

He smirked. "Eight o'clock tomorrow night." he lifted my hand to his lips; they brushed my skin softly.

"...yes....sir..."

"Hmm. I guess I should let you go before someone notices." he lifted his gaze. "Not that it matters."

I nodded, numbly. Is it possible to have nerves awakening and numbing at the same time? If so..then that's what's happening to me right now. "Hah. Right. Sir..."

He released me.

Somehow I stumbled from his office.

I think Chaminade called after me as I passed her office but my mind wasn't on her. It was only on him. I jumped on the nearest elevator,leaned against the wall, and tried to make sense of what just happened. Did Rufus Shinra just..ask me out? It wasn't just flirting, he actually...did it. He asked me out. He asked _me _out? When the doors opened to my floor—thank goodness no one else got on—I stepped out and headed quickly down the hall to my office.

Just when I thought I would make it, Reno came around the corner, heading toward his office and swinging that long electromagnetic rod around. He had a pleased grin on his face and I instantly knew he'd done something to a ShinRa employee that he had no business doing. For a second I actually believed he'd walk past me without saying anything. Instead he stopped and stopped me as well by holding out a hand.

"Hi, Reno." I shoved my hands in my pockets. "What were you doing?"

Reno rolled his blue eyes' innocently'. "Nothing of course.. where are you coming from?"

I shrugged and moved to open my office door. "Nowhere..."

"No. Where?" he crossed his arms.

"President's office.." I stared at my feet. Should I tell him?

"Why?"

"He..called me up there...to talk to me.." I laughed nervously.

"About what?" a new voice joined the conversation.

I hadn't realized Tseng was coming out of his office, with his cellphone to his ear. He paused and looked at us with mild interest.

"Um.." I looked away from the two men and moved to open my door and slip away. "about something."

"Something?" Tseng raised an eyebrow. He looked at me scrutinizingly..what is he thinking?

"Nothing really.."

I have to get out of this conversation! I know I I am not capable of keeping secrets most times and this is a really really big one! Though..is it even a secret? I mean he never said I couldn't tell anyone. Hell, how could I tell anyone if I wasn't even sure what was going on myself?

"Hmm..."

Tseng frowned slightly in thought and looked at me oddly. Reno lost interest in it and was heading into his office with a backwards wave in our direction.

"Bye..Reno.." I called behind him, avoiding Tseng's gaze. "Well have a nice evening Tseng, sir. I'm going to take it easy..my head is just.." I put my hand to my forehead for emphasis and frowned as if I were in pain. "..killing me..I'm going to just..medicate myself when I get home and go to sleep." I nodded.

It wasn't a complete lie. I'd had a headache when I got up this morning but it's just about gone now. Tseng narrowed his eyes at me, he opened his mouth like he was going to say something but decided not to.

"You should."

With that, he left. I let out a breath and fled into my office.

**

* * *

**

"Sara?"

I curled up at one end of my couch and clutched the phone; I glanced at the number on my hand again and hoped I'd gotten it right and some angry old woman wasn't going to pick up and curse me out. I have to talk to her right now. On my way home—after I stopped hyperventilating—I came to the conclusion that Sara would be the best choice to help me pick out something for tomorrow.

The phone rang again. I closed my eyes. Please answer! Otherwise I'm going to have to go shopping on my own and that wouldn't end well. Once I almost destroyed three changing rooms just because I was curious to see if I could jump into a pair of jeans instead of doing it one at a time. Me and shopping don't get along. Ever.

"Hello?"

"Hey! I've never been so happy to hear someone's voice..." I sat up and tried to figure out how to word this without sounding desperate.

"Hi, Elena. I'm surprised to hear from you so soon. You want to go hang out or something? I'm not busy right now..."

"Actually...um...kinda." I bit my lip and rushed out the next few words. "I'msortakindagoingonadatetommmorrownightandIneedhelppickingoutstuff..."

"Huh?" she laughed.

"...I'm..going on a date...and I need help...picking out stuff..this is all very unexpected for me."

There was a long silence. I fidgeted. Maybe she'll say no!

"...A date? With who?"

"I can't say...I..well..I'm not sure." I attempted, lamely.

"Its a blind date?"

"No...not really..no..we both definitely can see quite well."

She laughed softly. "I understand. Do you want me to help you pick out one tonight? Its not late out."

"Sure, yes I would love that actually. Thank you for understanding that I can't tell you.."

"Is it Reno?" she sounded a bit more pleased.

"What? No. You sound hopeful that it was..."

She laughed again. "Yeah....he saw me today and...well....you know how that goes."

"So Reno likes you.." I filed that away in my head.

"Eh.." she didn't sound too pleased. "Too bad for him because I don't like guys.."

"Huh?"

"I don't like guys _I work with._" she quickly explained.

"Oh..haha ...I know what you mean." I chewed on my bottom lip. I wish I had that same way of thinking...unfortunately I like guys I worked with. More importantly I like guys I worked _for._

"I know a nice place where we can shop, its in your sector actually..." she gave me the directions. "...meet me there in fifteen minutes?"

"Yeah..sure.." I sighed with relief. "I think I know where that is. Thank you so much for this."

"You're welcome. Hey its the least I can do after getting you drunk that time." she chuckled into the phone.

* * *

---

* * *

**GW08: Well this was a long time coming but I finally did a total overhaul on this chapter. I hope you guys you read the original like the remake and those who haven't..well..Haha you wouldn't know the difference. Thanks! And as always, please review.  
**


	7. Anticipating the Affair

_**GW08: I should have updated sooner actually, but Spring Break went away so fast! Now I'm out for Easter Break , which started Friday and will end Monday. Well..Tuesday. Aww shucks, ignore me. **_

**Sept 2008: This chapter is also getting some edits, nothing too major but we'll see..**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**_Anticipating the Affair_**

* * *

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep..._

What a nice sound..a little irritating but...its nice. I shifted slightly, turning my back to the thin curtains that shielded me from the sun. I was in a peaceful din of darkness, my closed eyelids kept me from the fact of the morning. The warmth beneath my sheets was more than enough to warrant a little more rest. I buried my face in my pillow and let my hazy consciousness drift and split again.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep twleeeeep eptweee eeep eep..._

A soft sigh floated from my lips accompanied by a small smile. Such a nice sound that was..it was definitely better than the harsh music from upstairs. Those people had been quiet lately though.._this_ sound was nice. A slight shift in my position ensured a new level of comfort. My face found itself completely in the pillow, I was laying on my stomach, my arms were spread out on either side of me.

I wonder how Rufus sleeps..if he sleeps.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep_

The position revealed itself to be uncomfortable and painful after a few moments in it. I rotated around, facing the window in a slight fetal position, one of my arms tucked beneath me and bent to prop my head up along with the pillow. The other was draped over my side and my fingers brushed the sheets. This was comfortable and warming. The sunlight was nice on my face..

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep_

What time was it anyway? Hmm..that sound wasn't that fun actually..it was actually kind of annoying.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep..._

Would it be so wrong if I shot it? Just put a bullet right through its throat? Damn bird.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep..._

After twenty minutes of this shit, I think that is a great idea. The world could do with one less bird. Hell...its pointless to lay here now..the stupid bird ruined my morning. At first its song was nice..but now...it has to die.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep_

"It mocks me..." I sat up abruptly in bed and pushed the curtains apart.

There it was. Perched on a ledge right outside of my window, its fat little belly poking out proudly as it continued its little singing. I tapped on the glass with my knuckles.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep-_

Shit its looking at me. Its beady black eyes focused right on mine before it opened its beak and started singing again.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep_

You're mocking me aren't you? Aren't you!?" I shouted unnecessarily at the bird. That's it, that bird was gonna get it.

I unclasped the window and pushed it open, grabbing my gun of the bedside table in the process.

I pointed it directly at the bird's plump belly and narrowed my eyes. I ran my tongue across my lips, my finger twitched with anticipation. I could just see the bird toppling off of its bitchy little perch and falling down into the street below, its feathers spinning around in its wake.

"Bye bye..birdie.." I muttered, pulling the trigger back eagerly. Awaiting the explosion.

Nothing happened.

"The hell..?"

Oh..no bullets.

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep_

Lucky bastard. What was I thinking anyway? Trying to shoot a bird? What, was I going to fry it or something? Let the little bird devil sing its song. I'll just put the gun down and get ready for work...hell that little demon probably woke me up an hour early.

I placed the gun gently on my bedside table and glanced at the clock.

"Oh...my...damn..."

I stared at the time in horror. No..no no no no no..I could not ...I could not be almost two hours late!

_Tweeellleep. Eeptwee eep eep...Twleeeep eepteep..._

I tore my eyes away from the clock and looked at the bird. If it wasn't for him I probably would have slept until the afternoon!

"Thank you birdie..thank you!" I ran to the open window and reached out for it without thinking. It fluttered its wings all in my face and took off into the sky. I stared after it in its wake until I couldn't see it anymore.

Screw that bird, I had to get ready for work!

* * *

"You know you're late right?"

I sighed. Clearly I realized that or otherwise I wouldn't be bouncing from foot to foot and making little twitching motions now would I, Edna?

The environmentally-conscious receptionist peered at me from her circulation desk. Her hair was streaked with pink today and her nails were as well. Why would anyone want her to be one of the first images of ShinRa they saw? What was that about?

"I know..." I muttered, pulling the silver clipboard from her hand and snatching up a pen. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Everyone is busy..as usual..."

"Oh..okay.. thank you.."

I quickly left her there, I had no intention of hearing a midmorning caw about the gloomy weather. I was used to it looking like crap, and I didn't like my attention being drawn to it. Why couldn't she be blissfully nonchalant about it too?

Besides. I needed to think about my plan of action. What lie could I tell to make my tardiness excusable to Tseng? I mean..what if he complained to Rufus and then Rufus decided not to take me out to "teach me a lesson."

Oh who am I kidding. At least I'm not sick anymore..there goes that excuse. But really? What could I say to Tseng to make him believe me or at least forget it and let it go? I couldn't say "there was this bird..that woke me up two hours late..after I was overdosed on meds..and then I wasted even more time trying to shoot it. I didn't know...so yeah..we can just move on..it won't happen again."

Besides..how often am I late? Next to never. I'm a professional..

Well..sometimes. No. Most times. But I was...well..no..that would be pushing it.

On my way up the stairs I realized it would be faster to take the elevator this time. It was the fastest way to get to my floor. Maybe then-- if I was lucky – I could slip in and pretend that I was in my office the entire time.

That plan was soon shot straight to hell.

Reno was strolling down the hall toward me, Rude's presence was not with him at the moment. A rarity at best. Those two guy were inseparable. He didn't seem to notice me..he was in his own little world. The red head had a cellphone to his ear and was swinging his EMR like a baton in the other hand.

When he reached me he stopped short.

"There you are, Elena, you know you are a hard girl to find." Reno snapped his cellphone closed and put his hands on his narrow hips.

"I ..know.." I shrugged. "I...was..."

"You slept in late didn't you? You know Tseng almost blew a gasket..we had some important stuff to do earlier this morning...he's pissed.."

"What?! Oh nooo.." I groaned, putting my hand to my head. I knew he was going to be mad! I just knew it.

Then I noticed the gleam in Reno's blue eyes , even though his facial expression was serious.

"Oh my gosh! You liar!" I punched him hard on his arm. "Ooh I hate you!"

Reno flashed a handsome grin my way and ran a hand through his hair. "But you know.." he draped his arm over my shoulder casually. "...you really love me. We aren't doing much of anything today so you weren't missed. I wanted to ask you something anyway..."

"Oh?"

Reno steered me toward the elevator I had been heading to in the first place, he pushed the button and we waited for the doors to open.

"Yep. I know you're cool with that hot girl from the Weapons Department..."

I figured he was soon going to ask me that. It was classic. The "go through the girl's friend and/or associate to get to her" move. Honestly I'm surprised Reno hadn't already gotten her to go out with him yet...he had crazy charm. Heavy on the crazy.

"You want me to ask her out for you?" I gave him my best snarky look. "Why can't you do that yourself?"

"She keeps avoiding me.."

I chortled. " With good reason, right?"

"You're mean." Reno laughed good heartedly. "so why were you late?"

"I got home late from shopping with Sara...we went shopping for a evening gown for me tonight for my date...and then I drank cold medication and I guess that was it.." I shrugged, busying myself with watching the numbers on the elevator glow, getting closer to our floor.

"Date?"

Damn it. I couldn't just for once not say something that I knew wasn't supposed to be said could I? Think fast Elena, what can you do to distract him?

"A ...little girls night out...thing..yeah you know..date..you can call it that.." I laughed nervously, moving away and walking toward a flight of stairs. I would just take the stairs and avoid-

I was pulled back in the direction I was leaving, by my collar. My necktie pushed into my throat causing me to cough a little.

"Reno!" I swatted his hand away.

"Date? With who?" he peered down at me, crossing his arms.

I could take off running...but no...that would be too much of a dead give away, and besides he was very capable of catching up with me without even trying. The man moved like a ..I dunno..something.

"Nobody Reno! Ooh look the elevator doors have opened."

In fact the silver elevator doors came apart showing the interior of the lift. I followed Reno in, throwing away my idea of physically avoiding him. Instead I would have a battle of wits and trick him into changing the subject. Preferably about Sara since he seemed to be so fond of her, or even to something completely random like what he liked a woman to wear under her clothes.

I kept my eyes trained to the floor until we got inside and the elevator doors closed. I leaned against the wall. While I was in my reverie about how to trick Reno into forgetting my date, I didn't notice someone else was in the elevator.

"Hey, Rufus, how is the midmorning treating you?"

Rufus?...Oh...no no no..

I was yanked from my thoughts, I looked up around Reno. Yes that was no mistaking Rufus Shinra. Perfect hair, perfect white suit with the perfect blend of black, perfectly reading some file. Perfect.._.perfect_..perfect. _Why_ did _he _have to be in this particular elevator? Especially when a particular red head was currently grilling me about who I was going on a date with...who just happened to be Mr. Perfection himself. Damn it.

"Hello, Reno."

"Guess what? Elena has a date. Wild isn't it..." Reno started his comment towards Rufus, but then looked over at my wide eyed expression and grinned. "C'mon tell us who it is! You know I'm going to get it out of you."

Worst case scenario.

I shifted uncomfortably from side to side and took to staring at the doors. The uncomfortable floaty feeling I usually got from riding an elevator was nothing compared to this.

"Its ...not really a date...Reno..."

"Well, Elena? Who is it? Does he work here?"

Think fast Elena. Do I lie with Rufus Shinra present? Or do I tell the truth? It is not like he ever told me _not _to say anything. And why isn't he stepping up to help me out anyway? I mean...he was involved in this too. Right?

"Um..no..." I chose to lie. Anyone that worked at Shinra could appreciate a lie. So I'm sure Rufus wouldn't take too much offense.

"Bullshit." Reno declared confidently.

"No it's not!" I was determined to make him believe me. Even if it meant raising my voice to squeaky proportions. "Why do you say that?!"

Reno looked at me smugly. "Because you, my dear Laney, have no social life outside of this company."

My mouth fell open, I was ready to protest. His smug look grew more defined.

"Don't look so offended, Laney, you know its the truth."

"Well neither do you!" I defended myself lamely but I knew he was telling the truth.

"Touché." Reno tipped an invisible hat to me and tapped his EMR against his palm. "But I'm cooler than you." he tacked on a final fact. "So he works here? What department?"

_Executive._

Darn you Reno who never believes me because I'm such a poor liar.

"He...I dunno. I guess he does a bit of everything." I glanced at Rufus.

He was still reading that document and seemed to be paying his Turks little attention. To the untrained eye, that is. Upon closer inspection, his blue eyes were no longer traveling across the page, but watching me from the corner, inconspicuously. I looked away from both men, my face was growing warm.

"Why does it matter? What about Sara?"

"What about her? She ain't the subject." Reno wasn't falling for it was he?

"Excuse me, Reno, but how is it important?" a new voice joined in.

Rufus Shinra's soft, authoritative and slightly sarcastic tone silenced Reno and I for about a good second.

"Because this doesn't happen everyday with Junior, here." Reno gestured toward me, making it worse by ruffling my hair.

I slapped his hand away and took a glance towards Rufus. The President was still playing calm and mostly disinterested. If he was acting he was damn good..

"True.."I muttered in agreement.

"So, Rufus, who do you believe she's about to go out with?"

"Hmmm...I can only speculate." Rufus looked directly at me.

I looked away, how awkward and embarrassing. Reno would be getting his ass kicked for this one.

And what was with that comment from Rufus?

"...maybe its Tseng..." Reno grinned impishly at me.

"What? No its not! Its--"

"Reno. I didn't receive your report about yesterday. "

Rufus Shinra cut me off just when I was going to have a typical Elena moment and blurt out exactly who the mystery suitor was. I cast a weary glance in his direction and let out a soft sigh. Thank goodness.

"Oh..that..well.." Reno was distracted now. Thank goodness. He scratched his hair sheepishly. "I..was going to get to that..."

Since the spotlight was off of me now, I could breathe. This had to be the longest elevator ride I'd ever taken in my life. I checked my watch.

I guess it had to be true, when you wanted to get away from something quickly, it felt like time trotted along at the speed of a turtle. Barely a minute had passed since we'd stepped into the elevator.

How disconcerting. Discerning from Rufus' reaction to my would-be faux pas, I'm guessing it is safe to assume that telling anyone would not be good. See! I told him it was against rules.

Once again I risked taking a look over at Rufus. A little jolt shot through me. I had no idea he was watching me now since Reno had finally shut up. He was watching me from the corner of his eye, a small almost invisible smirk was playing on his lips like he was in on some secret.

I pretended I hadn't noticed him looking at me, and I turned toward the wall. The floor Reno and I were getting off on lit us, indicating we'd reached our destination.

Yes. Now I could get out of here and hide out until I was needed. The elevator doors opened and I made a move to step out behind Reno.

"Elena."

Oh,damn,what now?

"Sir?" I turned around expectantly.

"Remember, eight o'clock." he ran a hand through his perfect blond hair, a signature move.

"Yes...I...I remember. Of course sir." stumbling over my words when he addressed me was becoming an everyday thing now wasn't it?

"I'll see you later, Elena."

I unconsciously bit the inside of my mouth, and nodded. Quickly I turned around, fully aware that the elevator doors were closing, I just hoped I didn't slam into them like an idiot. That would definitely win me points wouldn't it...

"Bye, sir." I exited the doors just before they closed, moving a little faster than necessary.

I came out into the hall.

"Watch it.." a brunette woman with extremely dark eyes glared and skirted around me.

"Oh..I'm ...sorry miss.."

The person stopped in their tracks and looked back at me. At first glance it was a woman, but upon second glance it was definitely a guy. Just a really..slim..really..effeminate...guy. I should have been used to being around androgynous looking men by now, I mean hell I worked _here _and this place was riddled with them, but I was thrown off guard. I blame this on my encounter with Rufus. Every encounter with Rufus made me less attentive than usual.

"Oh. You're a guy. Sorry..about that." I gave it a polite smile and turned away, hiding a little laugh.

Hey..its not my fault he looked like he had a vagina.

I let that go and headed towards my office.

* * *

"This was definitely an off day..all building up to something incredible isn't it.." I sighed, staring at my computer screen, all of the words merged together as I peered at it unblinkingly.

This _really_ was an off day. We had no really "fun" missions and I was in here doing paperwork. In fact..I'd been in here during paperwork for the past five hours, from my window I could see the sun beginning to get low in the sky.

_At least I had something to look forward to after work..._

"Oh gods...why did I agree to that..?" I sighed worriedly.

Why did I agree to that? Oh yeah..because he asked and I couldn't say no. Its not like I was regretting it. How often does Rufus Shinra ask _me_ out? Never. In fact...he's pretty unattainable...

I'm just a little worried. Part of me wishes something would come up --maybe an explosion or something-- that would make us have to cancel the date. And part of me wishes for a big ole fat cliché to happen.

Now that I had all this free time—minus filing papers and typing a few memos—that's all I could think about was tonight. I was waiting excitedly for the day to end..but then the other half of me was wishing it would not end because I was uncertain of what would happen.

I mean instead of looking forward to spending one- on- one time with Rufus Shinra I could be looking forward to going out for a casual little dinner with Sara Lorcan. But when those two options were weighed on the scale...the Rufus thing was probably a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I could eat with Sara any old day.

Besides...I had so much to ask Rufus. Well actually..just one thing in particular.

"...why are you suddenly paying little ole unremarkable me so me attention?" I muttered while watching a new document print. "why indeed.." nibbling my bottom lip brought me a little comfort and distracted me from the wild thoughts in my head.

"Oh...man..." I ran a hand through my hair and put my fingers to the corner of my eyes, pulling them back until I could barely see anything. I released them and expelled an exhausted breath of air.

How could I be exhausted when I hadn't done a damn thing all day, except for eating a bag of chips in the lounge instead of going to lunch? Maybe I was emotionally exhausted?

I wonder how that worked.

Maybe I wouldn't be so emotionally exhausted if ...I dunno..c_ertain particular things_ wasn't going on in my life as of late. What was that about anyway? When I signed onto this job I expected to do a lot of things..but definitely not catch Rufus Shinra's eye.

Oh who am I kidding? Catching his eye? I'm probably a little speck under his eye...but why then, did he ask me to dinner? To get in my pants?

I scoffed.

That's one thing that had been dancing around in my mind since he asked me out. What if he just wanted to add me to what I'm sure was a long list of names? I'm not calling him a man whore or anything..but I mean..its pretty typical of men in high power to..well pull shit like that. At least in the movies.

If that was the case..maybe I should bring my gun along, strapped to my inner thigh or something.

But then again. Why would he go through the trouble of somewhat softening me up, when he could probably just say one word to me and I'd swoon and let him have his way with me?

Wait what? I don't swoon..when have I ever swooned?

Something told me his intentions weren't that animalistic. He's too refined to sink to those kinds of lows. But than again..he's also quite the little...mind fucker. I don't know..

"Thinking about this is just making it worse...if I keep this up I'll end up having a panic attack before I even get home."

There was nothing to panic about..it was just a date. With ...Rufus ...Shinra...

Okay so maybe panicking a little would be expected. But I had a lot of time before the date right?

Apparently not.

I glanced at the clock in my computer. Not at all actually. It was six thirty.

Damn it..it was six thirty?!

Time always seemed to fly when someone was dreading something. Or in my case dreading and looking forward to the same thing.

* * *

I wasn't in the door good enough before the phone rang. For the second time today, a very unwanted sound was in my apartment. I didn't need this right now! I had to get ready, it was time to prove the myth false that it took a woman several hours to finally get ready for something. I didn't have hours, I had barely _one_ hour.

"Who the hell could this be..." I muttered aloud, marching to the nearest offending phone on one of my glass side tables. I put my keys down and sat on the couch, lifting the phone from the cradle. "Hello?"

"Hi, Elena.."

For some reason I just wasn't expecting her of all people to be calling me right now.

"Sara?" I held the phone against my ear with my shoulder, and used my free hands to take off my boots. "Hi...what's going on? You are aware I have a date to go on tonight right?"

"Well, yes of course I am. How are you?" I heard something rustle in the background on her end.

"I'm..well.." I gave a short laugh. "...anxious. I'm about to get dressed."

I was more than anxious, I was that kind of nervous that was painful and uncomfortable but also exciting. I hadn't felt like this sense...well...I've _never_ felt like this.

"Oh...I just wanted to call to bid you a nice night, good luck at wooing your mystery man." she gave a soft simpering laugh .

"I think I'm going to need it." I put my boots on the floor and stood up, leaving the living room and going down my hallway, flicking the lights on as I heading towards my bedroom. "...I am very incapable of 'wooing' a man. Got any tips?"

"Hmmm..." she sounded thoughtful. " Just be yourself, Elena, you're a likable girl, and you already caught his eye anyway from just being yourself right?"

I fell silent. I couldn't really answer that question honestly. If she knew _who _the man in question was I'm sure she'd be pretty confused herself. There was no logical explanation for what is going on tonight. Not the part where I'm getting ready for a date. Its not the fact that I, Elena, is going on a date. Its the fact that I, Elena, was going on a date with Rufus Shinra. That was the kind of stuff people could only dream about, if they were even that bold. I mean, it was only barely two or three weeks ago when I was still having that crush on Tseng. Now ..oh I dunno..its all very confusing. I doubt being myself would actually work well anyway...

"Elena? Are you still there?"

"Oh..yeah..yeah." I said distractedly.

"Tell me about how it goes alright?"

"I will...I guess..." I held the phone with one hand and opened my closet, pulling out the dress and shoes. "Hey, you have fun with Chaminade tonight too.."

She was silent for a moment. "She's working late tonight."

"Oh, right, I forgot about that...give me a moment?"

"Sure."

I put the phone down on my bed. Now that both of my hands were free, I took off my suit completely and was now walking around in my underwear. I picked up the phone again.

"Sara?"

"Still here.."

"I'm going to go take a shower.." I put my fingernails to my mouth and chewed on one. Nail biting..such a bad habit.

"Alright, bye. Good luck with your date. Don't do anything I wouldn't do twice."

"Twice?" I giggled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Sara chuckled warmly. "Good evening, Elena."

"You too." I hung up.

It was nice talking to someone about the date, but really all that did was made me even more nervous. I'm sure Sara was used to going on dates, she had men falling all over her. Well..okay..Reno. But still..I'm not the kind of person that gets approached...so naturally I wouldn't know how to keep a cool head about this.

Casting a furtive glance at my clock, I headed into the bathroom for a quick shower. There was nothing like a hot shower to calm someone's nerves. Too bad I wasn't everyone and my nerves weren't getting calmed anytime soon.

I stepped out of the shower ten minutes later and wrapped myself in a towel. Wiping the steam off of the mirror I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment.

"What have you gotten yourself into little lady?" I raised an eyebrow at my reflection.

I got my black hair dryer from the hook and plugged it in. The loud sound in my ears blocked out any other sound, which in turn made me paranoid. Just like in the shower, I hated for my senses to be temporarily obscured. I hated to have my eyes closed in the shower, for some reason I would feel like someone would be standing behind or in front of me when I opened my eyes, and I hated my hearing to be drained by the blow dryer because I would always believe someone would be at my door or calling me or breaking in and I wouldn't be able to hear them.

Now how would I be able to tell Rufus that if that subject came up somehow? He'd probably have me locked up or something. What are we supposed to talk about on a date anyway? I mean...how awkward is this going to be? What if we end up not talking to each other at all and then ...

Or! What if he ends up being fascinated by my undeniable sexiness and we get married the next day?!

Wait what?

"Ha.." my brown eyes rolled in my reflection. "There is no way in hell that is going to happen..."

Most likely not. Definitely not. I mean...really. This wasn't a movie...things like this take time. Things like what?

"Don't get it twisted...this will probably never happen again.." I sighed, cutting off the dryer. I touched my hair, it was almost completely dry and I wasn't going to waste five more minutes trying to finish the drying process. The night air would have to do that. "why'd it happen in the first place anyway..?" now that was something I really wanted answered. I'd slip the question in some time tonight...

After drying my hair I took off my fluffy purple towel. I was pretty dry now. I slipped into a new pair of underwear. I scoffed softly. If my fellow Turks knew what I wore underneath my uniform...

I wasn't what someone would call 'girly' but I loved lacy "sexy" underwear. This pair in particular was baby blue. I don't think I put too much thought into my underwear. Its not like I care if they match _all _the time. Just _this_ time.

Why am I thinking about something as random as underwear right now? Its not like I expect him to see my underwear or anything crazy like that!

"Slow down, girlie...you can't screw on the first date." I said sarcastically to myself.

I pinned my hair back, with the intention of doing something to it after I put on my evening gown. I left the bathroom and went back into my bedroom.

A few minutes later I had slipped into the dress, and zipped up things that needed to be zipped up. I crossed the carpet to my full length mirror.

Damn I look good.

Sara really knew what she was talking about when she insisted over and over again that I get this particular evening gown didn't she?

I ran my hand over the beautiful royal blue fabric. The dress firmly clung to my small almost 'nonexistent' curves in a very flattering way. If I was a guy I'd probably want to make out with myself right now. It had a very nice median between sexy and elegant. Sexy being the word that made me weary of this dress, but Sara said it showed off my accents very nicely. It was a slim halter dress with a plunging neckline, that, in her words, "showed off my cleavage". Did it ever occur to her that my cleavage didn't want to show off? For Rufus Shinra? Or any man for that matter? Maybe they did want to show off.._just a little_.

But it was pretty.

I really liked how it hugged my hips and fell down to the floor. I _really _was loving this long split in the dress that snaked up most of my left leg. I stuck my foot out and admired the strappy heels in the mirror.

"Damn I look good.." I spun around in the mirror.

My eyes fell on the time through the reflection. Damn. No time to admire myself vainly in the mirror, I had to go fix this hair of mine.

In the end I decided on wearing part of it in my face, with a few curls here and there. What more could I do with it? Besides..it was good enough right?

The last thing I had to do was the most important. I propped my leg up on the bed and strapped my gun to my thigh in a holster. Perfect. Now I was ready. All there was left to do was...

_Wait._

That was the hardest thing to do.

_Wait._

Should be pretty simple right?

I applied some last minute lip gloss—I don't own lipstick-- and left my bedroom to sit in the living room.

Sitting down in the couch facing the door, it was now that those butterflies started mud wrestling in my stomach. A nervous lump formed in my throat , my palms started to sweat.

"What time is it..?" I checked my watch. This watch wasn't the one I usually wore, I'd purchased it after Sara told me I couldn't walk around wearing that ugly watch I usually wore. Apparently it had to match with my dress and be delicate looking. Therefore. It wasn't the same one.

_He should be here any minute now..._

Oh gods why was I so nervous all of a sudden? Maybe he'd call and cancel...I'd probably appreciate it. But then again..I'd probably be mad enough to shoot his ass.

_Maybe I could watch T.V. Or something._

I cast a big eyed hopeful glance in my television's direction. I half expected it to turn itself on. There was no way I was reaching forward and grabbing the remote..my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even handle the thing.

This would be a great time for a cigarette. Too bad I didn't smoke. Besides I highly doubted getting a new unhealthy addiction would help my situation. If I can't think straight now how am I going to be able to function on this date with him?

I closed my eyes and tried to breath.

_We don't need any hyperventilating right now..._

I really didn't want another repeat of the rain incident. With me acting acting like something was seriously wrong with me. I still couldn't forgive myself for that.

_Its 7:58_

_Any minute now. Any..minute now. _

"Any..minute now..." I gnawed on my lip nervously and tried not to wipe my hands on my dress.

_7:59_

Oh dear goodness. Maybe he'd be late. I doubted that. He's Rufus Shinra. And I definitely couldn't see him being fashionably late. Sure he had an untouchable fashion sense but he's a man. And men don't have that excuse.

_Not even effeminate ones..._

I sighed softly, my breath sounded like a whistle coming through my almost completely closed lips. I drummed on my legs with my palms making out a random pattern.

My eyes landed on the nearest clock.

_Eight O'clock._

I jumped and almost fell off the couch. There was the sound I was waiting for.

Three soft, deliberate knocks.

I took a deep breath and crossed the floor to answer the door.

* * *

--

* * *

_**GW08: Well..then..there it is. I actually should be updating again soon, in fact I've already started on the next chapter, which I am having a lot of fun writing. Please leave reviews, not just to inflate my ego (it doesn't...), but to show me what you thought. How else will I know that you read it?**_


	8. Rendezvous

_**GW08: This chapter took me longer than expected to complete but it is finally done. There's not much I want to say about this chapter except that I took in some advice from some reviewers and I hope it paid off..I tried to bulk up my paragraphs while trying not to add in too many unnecessary things, just things that would help create more visuals. I used classical and jazz music to help me write quite a few scenes on this chapter as well. Before we start, I want to thank my friend EclipticNightmares for helping me with one scene in particular near the ending of this chapter, and I want to thank everyone that has been leaving constructive reviews and I hope you enjoy reading this.**_

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**_Rendezvous_**

* * *

"Breath, Elena, breath. Just open the damn door..." I mouthed silently to myself, reaching for my doorknob and turning it. I unlocked it and pulled it open. Peeking through the crack, I saw a figure standing there, I pulled the door open completely and there stood Rufus Shinra. How surreal was this? My eyes automatically went to his hands, I was happy to see he didn't bring roses or chocolates, I would have not known what to do with them. Next I surveyed what he was wearing.

He was wearing something even nicer than what he was seen in at work. If that was possible. And of course the major colors were white and black. He was in a suit, with several handsome –and all very necessary I'm sure-- layers of vests and shirts. All black in white in a perfect order. The suit jacket was white, the first vest thing was black..and so on. He wore white pants, black shoes. His hair was perfect as usual. It was perfection personified.

There was only one thing out of the ordinary.

He was at _my _door of all places. That's pretty..._extra_ordinary.

"Sir..." I was able to keep my voice surprisingly stable, not once did it crack or go above pitch. "...hi.." I stepped out into the hall and closed my door behind me.

"Hello, Elena." Rufus' cold blue eyes traveled over my body slowly. I shifted uncomfortably and unconsciously looked away, my cheeks grew warm. I can only imagine what is going through his head..what he is thinking about my ensemble. When his eyes fell on my chest they lingered for a moment, longer than I would have liked. Usually I would have been insulted but...well...I wasn't. I was flattered that he noticed that Elena has really nice perky breasts.

_I mean..what? That's probably not even what he was thinking! Oh shut up, Elena! Be cool._

"So...um..." I shifted uncomfortably in my heels, holding my hands behind my back.

"You look..." he trailed off for a moment. He put his hand over his mouth thoughtfully and stood back, surveying me a little longer. I hung on to his every word.

I look? Horrible? Like a tramp? A transvestite? Scarlet? A whore?

"...cute, idea, and fascinating. I've never seen you like this before. Its refreshing." he finished. He was pleased with his conclusion it would seem.

"Cute?" I smiled brightly. I'm sure I could light up this entire hallway if I wanted to. "...thank you..sir. You look really handsome and charming. As usual." I waved it away as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He merely chuckled softly. "Let's go."

I nodded. "Right." I turned around away from him, to lock my door and to hide my awed expression before looking back at him.

Before I knew it, I was being led by Rufus out of the building, his hand planted firmly in the small of my back. I was more aware of it this time than last time because of the severe lack of clothing I had on when last time I had on around two layers. No matter how hard I tried I could not stop from even grinning just a little and my face was extremely warm. I was willing myself not to think. I couldn't allow my mind to take the power away , and I would turn into a squealing giggling mess of stupid. That would not be good. Hell he'd probably shoot me to take me out of my misery, or better yet, he'd hand me the gun and let me do the honors my damn self.

When we stepped into the night air, a chill ran through my spine. It was incredibly brisk. Perhaps a jacket would have been a good idea. Maybe I should turn around and tell him I needed to go get one, but something stopped me, I didn't want to annoy him and besides it wasn't that cold, it was just a little chillier than the past few nights, and the thought raced through my mind that maybe he would be willing to lend me his jacket if I got cold enough. That would be great. I pulled myself from my reverie and scanned the line of cars outside of my building. The only car that could have possibly been Rufus Shinra's was a sleek, black, and expensive looking car. Just how many cars did he own?

Note to self: Check out car collection.

_Psh..yeah right._

He led me down the short stairs and to his car. I reached for the passenger door handle but he opened the door for me, like last time. Hopefully, unlike last time, I wouldn't end up forgetting how to string two sentences together. The sound of my slender heels echoed down the empty street, in fact they were the _only_ sound. I slid into the –this time-- black leather interior of the car. He shut the door and crossed to the other side. I took the few seconds he would take to get into the car himself, to close my eyes and breath.

_Stop being in denial, Elena. Yes that is Rufus Shinra. Yes you are in his car. Yes he is your boss. Yes you two are on a date. Yes..you're on a date with Rufus Shinra your boss who's car you are sitting in right now. Just have fun._

Unfortunately I couldn't take my own advice. Or at least it was going to be as hard as hell.

When we left my street, I tried to think of something to say instead of just watching street lights. I glanced over at him before looking away just as quickly. I did not want him to catch me in the act of ogling once again.

"So...sir...-"

"Rufus."

"Huh?"

He chuckled. "We're not at work, Elena. Call me Rufus. Not 'sir'."

Oh. Hehehe...

My face grew hot. I wasn't getting off to a great start was I? "Oh..of course..sir.."

"...Elena...what did I _just_ say?" he glanced over at me before looking at the road again. He tapped the steering wheel with the tip of his fingers.

"To...call you..Rufus.." I laughed softly, not because something was funny, but because I had to be the dumbest person in the area at this moment. Probably was.

"Exactly." a small almost invisible smirk played on his lips.

"Right. So...where are we going?" I played with my fingernails, which I realized now, with horror, that I should have painted them.

"Somewhere."

Oh. Alright..that told me _everything._

What else to say..what else to say? I could ask him the standard question of "What's your favorite color?" but then again..it was a bit obvious what his favorite color was. It just had to be white, right?

I'm going to go out on a limb here.

"So...what's your favorite color?"

"I'll let you figure that out." Rufus' tone seemed amused and slightly sarcastic.

"Um..." I nibbled a fingernail and pretended to think on it for a moment.

"The real question is: what is _your _favorite color?" he glanced over at me before putting his eyes back on the road.

_Oh. Way to turn the interrogator into the interrogated!_

"Well..." I trailed off. I didn't really know...I liked all colors I guess. I shifted in my seat and glanced out of the window. I hadn't noticed we were in a totally different area now, it looked like none of the areas I'd seen so far. I wonder where he's taking us?

"I think blue is a nice color for you."

He does? It is?

"You do? It is?" I stared at him for a moment. He glanced over at me, catching my eye, a small sideways smirk played on his lips.

"Yes, don't you? "

"Yeah..I guess..." I looked away out of the window.

_So..Sara made a good call with the blue dress..._

I gnawed on the bottom of my lip. How was it going so far? I mean..we've had a nice little conversation...and...I haven't said something completely retarded yet so I guess this was going pretty well? I hated the silence though. I was so loud! Was it just me? Maybe we should turn on the radio or something. I wonder what kind of music he listens to anyway? That would be a great question once we got inside the restaurant. I'm assuming we're going to a restaurant that is. I hope we were going to a restaurant..I am damn hungry. I didn't eat anything all day, I was way too nervous to eat anything.

After a while we made a turn off down a new road and he pulled to a stop in front of a building. It looked mysterious and expensive, and was nestled nicely between two taller buildings, unless someone was looking for it, they would probably drive right past it without noticing it was there. I unbuckled my seat belt successfully this time but didn't make any move to get out of the car.

"Elena." Rufus draped his arm over my shoulders and turned himself halfway towards me, a simpering smirk played on his lips. His fingers danced ever so lightly across my jawline, the gentle caress from the tips of them trailed across my skin, tracing the path of my facial structure and leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. My cheeks grew warm and I fumbled for something to say, I cast my eyes downward into my lap where my hands were, my fingers were interlocked like a school girl's. He took his other hand and guided me too look at him again, the expression on his face was unreadable yet seemed somewhat scrutinizing. I wonder what was he thinking?

"...sir..?" my voice was lost, I merely mouthed the words. I tried again. "sir?" I sounded unsure but at least not panicked. What was he thinking?

"Elena..." he said pointedly. Rufus shifted slightly and took my face in both his hands, the smirk on his face was a little more visible. My cheeks grew warmer, I wanted to look away from him so badly but his cold blue eyes demanded my attention. "Its, Rufus. Not _'sir'_. Or _'President'_."

"I...right. I'm sorry s-" the pressure of his finger against my lips stopped my words. My eyes widened slightly, he caressed my bottom lip—which I had been biting-- slowly as if he were giving it great thought. I shivered involuntarily.

"Rufus." his tone was alluring yet assertive. I nodded, I sure in hell couldn't talk right now.

"Of course, Rufus." I mumbled under the mild pressure of his index finger, I was staring at said finger and my eyes were going crossed. He seemed pleased with the first name basis and released me, moving out of my personal space.

"Shall we then?" Rufus opened his door, giving me a look that I'm sure implied something. I nodded.

Unlocking my door I pushed it open and stepped out of the car. I almost fell, I leaned against the car to catch my balance. I didn't realize how badly I was shaking, I could barely stand up on my legs and these long slender heels weren't helping. What was wrong with me? Ahh..there was no way to simplify the matter, it was all very complicated and I had to admit it was all very exciting. I wasn't trembling with fear, no I would refuse to believe that one, instead I was trembling with anticipation. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly until my nerves had calmed down enough to be just periodic tremors.

"Is something wrong, Elena?" Rufus was standing in front of me in an observant manner, his arms were crossed across his chest.

"No...I was just taking in the ..fresh air." I waved a hand at the surroundings and toward the sky, making my tone slightly comical and sarcastic at the absurdity of the statement. I'm sure he could appreciate that. Fresh air? Yeah right. Inhaling deeply of this air for an extended period of time would probably result in asthma.

"Ahh, I see." he spoke softly. "...lets go inside then, yes?"

"Yeah.." I nodded, unfolding my arms, he caught one of my hands which I had been intending to let hang loosely at my sides. I ran my free hand through my hair, tucking the loose bang back from my eyes.

He pulled me to him, closing the distance between us. Letting go of my hand, Rufus Shinra's arm halfway encircled my diminutive waist so that we were walking side by side. I blushed at the closeness and unfamiliar intimacy from this move. This was sure to be an interesting night.

I kept in stride with him and let him lead me towards the double doors of the establishment.When we went through the doors we came into an entrance area. The lighting was soft and ..well... _sexy_..and the sound of smooth jazz and classical music could be heard floating through the next set of doors. The floors were hardwood and really shiny, I could see the reflection of my dress in it. On either side of us were two staircases leading upward in a circular motion, I made a mental note that this place had more than one story, I wanted to check it out. In the direct center of the room was a very young looking woman behind a podium on a phone. She was in a black suit and her hair, dark burgundy, was tied in a tight up-do and on her adolescent looking face was black rimmed glasses and she wore a face full of makeup.

"Oh..wow.." I murmured in slight awe. What else could I expect?

"You're so easily impressed.." Rufus leaned in and muttered close to my ear, in a slightly lighthearted tone.

"...am..not..." but then I thought about it. "much.."

He chuckled softly. "_Much_ is the key word..."

_Well this wasn't bad at all...yes..my winning charm is making him hot for me. Wait what? _

We approached the the girl, she looked up at us, her forest green eyes widened.

"...yes...right..your reservations..for tomorrow.." she nodded fervently to the customer on the other line and then quickly ended her call, slamming the phone down into its cradle. "Sir, hello, how are you this evening?" her eyes landed on me, a little weird smile crossed her face, I grinned and gave her a little wave.

Rufus didn't answer her, he just watched her pointedly.

"Well..." she came from behind the desk. "Since you had reservations, sir, for a party of two, I..guess I'll show you to your area." she nodded in Rufus' direction, and added as an afterthought to me. "...its upstairs."

"Ah.." I nodded, glancing at her name plate. "Lynn..."

"Right this way, sir, we are glad you chose us." she led us through the double doors.

The sound of that classical and soft jazz music met my ears, I spotted the musicians themselves on a stage in the room. This was the dining area. About a dozen or so well spaced round tables were situated about the room, all of them draped in white table cloths. The soft lighting—or sexy lighting as I call it-- made the diners into nice mysterious shadows where they spoke to each other in soft tones that almost blended with the music. Before we were carted out of this room I spotted a area at the back that looked like a lounge. Nice..really nice. She led us up a staircase nestled in a corner. When we reached the next floor we were led into a new area. It dawned on me that this was going to be a private date with no one else watching.

_No pressure.. yep..no pressure.._

"Whoa..." my eyes fell on the windows on the far end of the room. From this height we could see the skyline of the city at night.

The room had the same soft shadowy lighting as the ones downstairs, a small circular table was situated a nice distance from the window, giving a pleasant view of the city. In the middle of the table was one of those really pretty candle looking things that weren't really candles but glowed a little none the less. I turned around slightly to get a better view of the room, I spotted a sliding door that blended in well with the windows, it probably led into a balcony, something also told me there was more to this area than just right here, the Turk in me wanted to investigate..maybe I'd do that later though.

"What are you thinking?" a hand landed on my shoulder.

I jumped, I must have been so absorbed in checking out my surroundings that I hadn't realized Lynn had already left. Rufus on the other hand was watching me. A sheepish grin crossed my features, I looked down at the floor, moved a little from side to side, and tucked my hair behind my ears once again. "...about nothing really." what could I possibly say? That I was admiring your taste..meow meow? Without confirming my answer, I headed to the table and sat down.

* * *

I shifted in my seat once again in the past five minutes, the sound of the waitress' pen tapping against her pad was getting on my nerves. Couldn't she see I was trying to decide on what I wanted to eat? I couldn't get any type of pasta or spaghetti...bad things happened during dates when someone ate that. I've seen it on the movies...the sauce...the slurping..no..not hot. I crossed and uncrossed my legs, nibbled my bottom lip, and reread all of the menu choices once again. Rufus had already ordered and I'm pretty sure he was waiting on me to stop debating with myself, maybe it was a stall tactic. Ahh yes, I am Elena, the great filibuster master of the world.

"...have you decided?" the waitress asked me once again, her tone was still extremely polite but I knew..I just knew...that she wanted to snatch this menu from me and order for me. Well hell..she's a waitress..its her job to wait..so wait lady.

"Um..no..." I didn't bother looking up at her. Hmm...what should I get? Something sophisticated..steak? Hmm..probably not...I don't think eating a thick piece of meat is actually appealing..and then there's the factor of it getting stuck in my teeth or something. Oh that'll mean no broccoli either, in fact I should probably avoid vegetables all together. While leaning back in my seat, I rescanned the menu once again. _Hmm..this was so hard_. Finally I looked up at the waitress. She smiled at me and shifted slightly, getting her pen ready. "Maybe you can suggest something?"

"How about the--"

"No...I don't know...hmm.." I shrugged and turned back to my menu. She sighed.

My menu was slowly removed from my hands. I looked up at the offending person. It was Rufus from across the table, he closed it, raising a unconcerned eyebrow at me and shaking his head, then he looked up at the waitress and said in a deceptively polite manner. "How about you surprise her?"

The woman sighed with relief and took the other menu. "Thank you sir."

Hey! That's so uncool. Who knows what the surprise could be! Not fair! What if she got me something that was so tiny that I'd die of starvation? I know how these expensive places got with their food proportions...from somewhat normal to unbearably small. I don't want pretty food, I want real food. Darn...

"Is that okay with you, Elena?" his tone indicated that it was one of those questions that weren't actually meant to be answered.

"Eh. As long as its not Spaghetti-y."

The waitress bowed and left us alone. Now the real fun would begin wouldn't it. What could I possibly say or do while we waited on the orders? What did people even do on dinner dates? Oh..that's right. They talked. I could do that..talking is good..talking is fine..talking is easy for me. Lets see how this will work..

"So..si-Rufus.." I looked up at him, he returned the gaze expectantly, he didn't seem surprised that I was already starting to chat. "So..what is your favorite music? I thought since we started asking favorites on the way here, we could continue. That's fine right? So what are your favorite genres?"

He sat back in his seat for a moment, and seemed genuinely thoughtful, he rolled those lovely blue eyes and looked up at the ceiling. I leaned forward with interest, what could he possibly be thinking on, wouldn't he already know that answer?

"Classical? Smooth Jazz?" I prompted him. A sly look crossed his features, he looked from the ceiling and at me.

"No, it irritates me."

"It does?" I had to admit, I was a little surprised, I thought he'd like it..I mean that was the theme in this restaurant right now. Or was he just pulling my leg? "You sure you're not being sarcastic?"

"Maybe I am." He leaned forward as well, his face was barely an inch from my own. "What about you?"

"Um..well I like virtually all kinds of music. I..sorta..opt for music with words..instead of...well.."

_Such pretty eyes.._

"Well?" Rufus prompted me. Oh. Right.

"Without. I lean towards music with words...as opposed to those without." a nervous shaky giggle passed my lips, this was far too close, and I giggled like a strangled kitten. "Yep.." looking away from him I studied the sky line instead. It was a pretty night considering, the city at night could be really beautiful from a distance. A few stars were visible against the black sky and the city lights made the metropolis seem deceivingly pleasant. "The city is beautiful from a distance."

"I know someone who's beautiful regardless of how far away or how close they are."

My eyes snapped back to him, he wasn't talking about me was he? Regardless that all to familiar heat crept up into my face. I adverted my eyes and stared at the table. "Oh.."

"Though...close is always better." he cupped my chin, bringing my face to level with his again.

I'm going to end up having a heart attack before we even get half way through the evening!

"...who..who...? Scarlet?" I said as innocently as possible, she was the only female I could think of at the moment.

Rufus frowned slightly. "What? No." his expression changed again, back to that all too familiar but extremely effective inviting look. "You know exactly who I'm talking about, don't you?"

"Um...? No..." I wasn't exactly lying, he might not have been talking about me. Surely I thought I was beautiful but just not in his eyes. Just to myself, in front of my bedroom mirror.

"..well _you_ of course..." he tucked brushed a strand of my hair from my face and placed it behind my ear and moved away, sitting back in his seat and leaving me frozen for a moment.

"Me?" I blinked, sitting back as well. I'm oh so sorry if I sound incredulous sir but...yeah...

"You seem shocked." he brought his hands together on the table in the shape of a tepee.

"...a little..." I barely could open my mouth, that had to be a first. New way to shut Elena up? Have Rufus Shinra touch her anywhere at any time and she will most likely be momentarily stunned into a libido'd silence. "...a lot.." I nodded.

"And why would that be?" he raised an eyebrow and leaned forward slightly with mild interest, propping his chin on his hand. Strands of blond perfectly placed hair fell into his face. So handsome...

"Urm..because-" putting my hands in my lap I interlaced my fingers and rolled my eyes up at the ceiling. How should I answer that...?

"Here are your orders sir, and ma'am."

Oh yay...the waitress was back. I didn't even hear her come in. Now I didn't have to tell him why I was a bit shocked. She placed glasses in front of us and then our dishes. I eyed mine suspiciously. Yes! It wasn't something completely unrecognizable or too small. Lobster Thermidor wasn't a bad choice at all, I'd had it once before--okay so maybe the waitress got a few points for this. She was was gone before her presence was incredibly noticeable, I wonder how they do that, they stay out of the way yet are there when needed at a moment's notice. Hmm..I guess that part of my job and hers were somewhat the same. Except I got paid substantially more and I could kidnap people.

I picked up my fork—I think that's the right one-- and prodded the cheesy lobster insides. Lifting some of the white meat to my lips I sampled it, it was actually surprisingly good, especially the cheese.

"So you actually like that? Would you call it one of your favorites?" Rufus prompted me, I hadn't been aware of him surveying my reaction with the interest of someone watching a mildly entertaining news report.

"Hmm..." I sucked on my fork, bumping my tongue against the tines and sliding it in between the metal. "I dunno...I like junk food better..does that count?"

"...not really..." Rufus picked up the wine bottle—white champagne actually, why would anyone expect less-- "No...not at all actually." he popped the cork off.

"I've gotten hit with a cork before." why did I have to bring up that of all things? "Yep..." I wasn't stopping either was I? "It was kind of funny too...I had black eye on both eyes."

"Both?" Rufus paused momentarily before filling our glasses half way with the sparkling beverage.

"Yep. You see, after I got hit in the eye, the cork had hit me so hard that I fell out of my chair and hit the corner of the table with my good eye. It hurt a little...but it was so funny.." I laughed softly to myself at the memory. "Never again did our father allow my sister to open the champagne. But it was pretty funny.."

"Hmph, seems embarrassing, not funny." he said, none the less a small smile was on his face. I grinned.

"I like laughing at myself, its better than getting all pissed off about it and then throwing a temper tantrum right? Anger is soooo useless." I tried the other little things on my plate. "Right?"

" I don't think so, other people's anger is pretty useful to me."Rufus shrugged and started on his food. I wasn't exactly sure what it was, when he ordered it, the name of it sounded foreign...at least it didn't have eyes. Mine used to have eyes. I could just see its beady black pupils looking at me.

"Oh..right.." I agreed, well I guess that made sense. He could use other people's anger to his own advantage giving the position he was in.

I picked up my champagne glass and moved it around, watching the liquid move around in a circular motion. Lemons..I wanted to put a lemon on it. I took the lemon from my plate and put it on the edge of the glass, sliding it around until I was sure the taste of lemon was on it, and then I put it back down. But then I picked it up again and ran the tip of my tongue across the fruit, trying to see just how bitter this thing was. Rufus coughed.

"What are you doing?" he put his fork down with a slightly blank expression.

"Nothing, don't mind me." I laughed and put the lemon down, picking my fork up again and spinning it around slowly in my hands. "...that was a little weird wasn't it..."

"...mildly. I wouldn't say it was 'weird'...just unexpected."

"Yes, I've achieved my goal of freaking out Rufus Shinra." it took me a moment to realize I hadn't said that in my head but very much aloud.

"Not yet, Elena, not yet." he chuckled warmly.

"Yet." I agreed.

Well..this was going great. Sure I didn't have any other dates to compare it against but yeah no one else could compare anyway. The best part is, I haven't done anything amazingly stupid, other than lick a lemon..which isn't stupid...just 'unexpected' apparently. I picked up my lemon lined champagne flute and took a slow sip, I didn't want to end up choking on it. I reflected at the vast difference in what I was drinking tonight as opposed to what I might have been drinking out with the guys or with 'the girls' (could I even call them "the girls" yet? We've only hung out once..). At least with this I wouldn't get drunk...I couldn't even imagine getting drunk while I was with Rufus, I'd promptly give him my resignation and go live in obscurity in a cave. The classical music was really nice as well...the way it surrounded us but wasn't gratingly annoying like wordless music could get after a while...well..any kind of music...

"You know, sir, when you asked me out..." I prodded the rest of my lobster.

" Uh uh?" he looked at me with an expectant gaze. I stared down at my lobster and poked it..poor little dead lobster...

"Well..I was surprised of course...I ...wasn't expecting it." I shrugged, maybe I shouldn't have brought up the subject.

" ...hmm..and what else?" he asked thoughtfully.

"...well...hehe..." I put my fork down and took a sip of champagne. "...I was just a bit shocked. I mean you barely had even said a few words to me and then pow..you're asking little invisible unimportant me out on a date. " I shrugged, hoping it came off as nonchalant. "So yeah...a bit of a surprise."

"Elena..."

"Yeah?" I took longer than necessary to put my glass down, looking into its contents instead of at Rufus.

"Hmm..nothing.." he said dismissively. I looked up at him, now I really wanted to know what he was going to say.

"What is it, sir?" I asked, but I didn't wait for him to answer. "I also was pretty excited and nervous.." I trailed off and concentrated on finishing my lobster off. We fell into a comfortable silence, which was uncomfortable to me because it was comfortable. My logic is undeniable. "So, what do you do when you're not working or wooing your employees?" I grinned slightly. "What are your favorite pastime?" playing with the corner of my napkin I glanced up at him.

"How about yours first." Rufus seemed mildly interested in what I was going to say. Maybe I could get used to this attention thing.

"Well.." I gave a small laugh, "...I don't know if I have an exact favorite, it really depends on the day. Sometimes I like to just stay inside and read or paint something or go on-line or eat—yes eating can be a past time-- or sometimes I will just dance around listening to music. When I feel like going outside though, which is usual, I might go jog—I like jogging early in the morning before anyone else is awake—and then there's ..." I went on and on, I don't think I was going to stop either. Someone should probably stop me, before I started talking about my newly picked up hobby of killing birds. Well almost killing birds.

Tonight wasn't the night that I was going to find out his favorite pastimes was it? He didn't really seem to mind that I was talking more than he was though. I was still talking when we ordered deserts—I had Lemon Meringue and Tiramisu...I would have ordered more...but sugar makes me crazy-- this time about why Vanilla is better than chocolate.

"...I'm right , right? What do you like better? Chocolate or Vanilla?" I was attempting to lick creme off my finger without it looking completely inappropriate.

"I'd say both, but I would prefer chocolate over vanilla..." Rufus trailed off for a moment "...what are you doing?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Oh..hehe.." my index finger was halfway in my mouth. "hehehe...trying to get creme off my finger without it looking entirely inappropriate."

"Its a little too late for that..." Rufus smirked slightly. That all too familiar warmth crept up into my face. I quickly removed my finger and used my napkin instead.

"Well we can make a toast to my inappropriate finger licking." how clever was I? I grinned almost flirtatiously at him and lifted my champagne glass. He grinned in return amorously and lifted his as well. "to really confusing and unexpected situations, that include but are not limited to what I apparently did with my fingers, but also includes this entire night. " I gestured at the skyline. " do you have anything to add?"

"Oh, of course not, how could I add to such a Shakespearean speech?" Rufus ' words were dripping with sarcastic humor. I rolled my eyes in mock irritation. When was I allowed to be this casual with him?

"You're so right..so right.." I matched his sarcastic tone. We laughed and lightly touched glasses.

Okay so maybe I had something going for me...if I didn't think about the fact that he was well Rufus Shinra, then I bet I could get through the rest of the evening without making an ass out of myself. We chatted for a while longer—mostly me of course...it was impossible for me to not talk..maybe I just liked to hear my own voice. But yeah..I liked to hear his much more. It took us a while to realize it had gotten pretty late.

"Its kinda late.." I stretched my eyes with my fingers and looked around. "Isn't it."

"Depends on what you call late.." Rufus said, rising from the table.

When we got up from the table, I took it upon myself to go look out of the large window at the city. I crossed the floor, watching my shadow move as the moonlight hit it, until I reached the window that not only provided a view of the city but a view of the balcony beyond it.

I pressed my palm against the cold glass, and looked over the city. It really was beautiful at night, how all of the lights from every building looked like little stars. Stars that were a bit absent in the actual sky tonight.

" Its really pretty up here.." I breathed out onto the glass, watching the fog gather on the window.

"It really is, especially with you." Rufus murmured in my ear. I jumped slightly, I hadn't known he was behind me.

"Oh..thank you..I guess.." I chewed on my bottom lip and continued to stare out at the city. "..."

My muscles tensed slightly, I could feel Rufus' arms going around my waist, the gentle brush from his arms through my dress sent an unfamiliar tingle through my spine and my skin. The warmth of his embrace is matched only by the sound of his voice in my ear. What was about to happen now? This closeness wasn't exactly appropriate right? So was it wrong that I really liked this right now? Everything was just perfect: the setting, the atmosphere, the embrace, Rufus Shinra, ..the only thing a little off about it was that I was here and not some other woman. Why me anyway? I still wanted to ask him...I just couldn't find the voice to form those exact words...maybe I was just a little afraid of the answer? There was no time like the present to ask..right?

"...Sir..?" my voice sounded a little too breathy to be normal. I coughed hoping to clear that problem up, it didn't help.

"Rufus, Elena, not sir, remember?" his voice caressed my senses, I trembled slightly and nodded. For a moment I was sure I forgot my own name.

"...right...I know..s-sorry.." my voice grew faint at the end. I heard him chuckle warmly, I on the other hand had a nervous lump forming in my throat. He was the only person that could put me on edge like this. Why is that? I was getting tenser by the moment. Great Elena, become stiff as a robot, maybe then you wouldn't sound like a squeaky church mouse or worse. I drew in a shaky breathe and tried to concentrate on the scenery night sky before me. That lighthearted banter was almost completely forgotten now.

"Why are you so tense? Are you scared of something?" he whispered in my ear,I was so deep in concentrating on the scenery that I barely heard his voice. A surprised noise escaped my lips. His hands were traveling slowly up and down the sides of my waist, I was being sculpted by his ministrations as he felt the contours of my sides. I was beginning to feel like some type of art work he was appraising.

"I...I'm not..sir..Rufus..uh.." I could barely speak, I tried to swallow but my mouth had went dry. I was trembling from his unfamiliar tracings, each move left a tingling sensation in my skin.

"Hmm..the evening is winding down isn't it." he commented softly in my ear, drawing me closer until my back hit his firm chest.

I nodded and closed my eyes, I needed to find something to say..if only I could find my voice that is. I rocked slightly from side to side in his embrace and kept my eyes focused on the city ahead of me. My nerves were suddenly so shot I could barely hear the music drifting inward anymore.

"I um..." I swallowed. "..we could take a walk...um..or something...it doesn't have to be over yet right?"

" It doesn't have to be...hmm..lets go then shall we?"

* * *

--

* * *

_**GW08: the date chapter was going to be split into three chapters, but then I decided to split it into two, so yes..the date isn't over. Please leave reviews, I really want to hear from everyone, and I should be updating sooner this time.**_


	9. Justification

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**_Justification_**

* * *

He pushed the glass doors open and I left first, Rufus followed me out of the restaurant and onto the balcony. I shivered involuntarily as the breeze-much cooler than it was earlier in the evening—met my bare shoulders. Crossing my arms I willed my body to stop responding to the chill in the air before he noticed. Once again I wish I had brought some type of jacket with me, but then again if I had, I would have had the tendency to keep it on the entire time and thus the main event—as far as my evening gown is concerned—would not have been up for admiring or showing off. I looked up at the sky, searching for a pattern, it didn't matter what pattern, I just wanted to see something remotely familiar in the sky tonight, so at least some sort of 'normalcy' would set in on this evening.

The wind's song met my ears and its breath hit my exposed skin once again. I rubbed my shoulders automatically and shivered, moving from one foot to the other. I quickly stopped, remembering that I had a very attentive audience. What was he doing anyway? I looked to my right, Rufus was leaning with his back against the rails of the balcony, looking up at the sky as well, and he was not paying me any attention. In fact, the way he was leaning against it was almost casual; it almost convinced me that he was average like me, for like a split second. I took this time to watch him instead. Strands of his golden perfectly placed blond tresses moved gently every time the wind decided to float past us, piercing blue eyes stared up at the sky searching it for something it would seem, he crossed his arms and furrowed his brow. I wonder what he was thinking about and if it had anything to do with me? Why would it have anything to do with me? I'd told him enough today about myself that he could write a novel on it, I doubted he was thinking about me of all people, there were far more pressing matters that could be on his mind instead of little ole Elena.

_Just look at him._ The way the natural and artificial lights around us hit him, setting him off in a mysterious and dignified glow, made him seem simply larger than life and all he was doing was leaning against a railing with a heel against it and surveying the night sky like I had been a few minutes ago. Everything about him was larger than life, especially larger than me of all people. Why did this man, the most powerful person in the world, find some sort of interest in me? Was there something about me or was he just doing me a favor? What kind of favor? Was I even aware that I was in need of a favor? How can someone do someone a favor if they're not aware that they are in need of one? Fact is: he's perfect and completely unattainable, even if I did believe that he was honestly and truly drawn to me for some curious reason, it would be impossible to do anything about it. I mean he's Rufus Shinra. I've been trying to tell myself since he was at my door that Rufus Shinra was seriously here with me and I wasn't just having another weird dream about men I work with. _Like Tseng_.

_Tseng_. That's a person I had been trying to stop thinking about, honestly it hasn't been so hard since the whole President-Rufus- allegedly-in-my-own-head-wants-me-and-I-think-I-want-him-too thing. But I mean who would I have a better chance in actually attaining if I had the balls or the nerve enough to pursue those insane desires? Probably Tseng, he's amazing too but nowhere near as important and impossible as Rufus Shinra. Even though Rufus and I have a few things in common like our age, the fact that we're both human, our place of business, and our species—at least I can mate with him if I so choose..wait what?-- I'd probably die in the line of duty faster than end up being his girlfriend. Wow..being Rufus Shinra's _girlfriend_. Something just hit me: that whole term just sounded _weird_. The term _girlfriend_ in association with Rufus, regardless of who the girl actually was just seemed a little odd. Sure, me saying "I'm Rufus Shinra's girlfriend." would sound weird to anyone that had any understanding of who Rufus Shinra was and who I was—a nobody-- but really..the term girlfriend just seemed wrong with his name anyway. Maybe it was because that word wasn't sophisticated enough for a twenty-one year old? But no..it's not that either. I could just never see him with a girlfriend..or at least not any old girlfriend. Or boyfriend for that matter. _Man, I would love to see what made him tick_.

Another breeze, more forceful than the last, made me tear my penetrating gaze from Rufus just before he felt me watching him. He'd probably known I had been watching him the entire time, regardless of if he had or not, apparently we were ready to actually go down a set of stairs leading from the balcony. How convenient, a way for high profile people to leave without having to go through the entrance again..why didn't we go through this way in the first place? It's not like anyone noticed our presence anyway other than the Maitre'd and the waitress.

"Isn't there a park nearby? I thought I saw a fountain on the way here." I asked innocently, he didn't need to know I was guilty of scrutinizing him. "I'd love to take a walk through it, we can talk and stuff, even though the night is late, I _really_ don't want to go home right now." I smiled, leaning against the railings.

Rufus wasn't fooled by my antics was he? He stared at me for a moment, it didn't take long for me to grow intensely uncomfortable and look away. I busied myself with picking at my short fingernails and shifting uncomfortably from one slender heeled shoe to the other. "So um.."

"Hmm, let's go then, shall we?" his eyes left me and went briefly to the sky.

"Yeah let's go." I headed down the stairs first, with one hand firmly around the railing. There was no way in hell that I was going to allow myself the chance to fall down a flight of stairs, which would usually not happen but it wasn't every night that I wore four inch heels. That'd be the worst thing possible: Me. Falling down stairs..in a dress. And let's not forget that gun I still have strapped to my hip. Hell I'd forgotten it was there for a while, that holster is pretty comfortable.

"You know.." Rufus said from behind me as we neared the foot of the stairs. "at first I was a little surprised that you wore your gun."

Could he read minds or something?! And here I was thinking that I had successfully hidden my gun on the side without the long split in it. I did,didn't I? I risked a glance. Apparently not, I could slap myself for that one, a little bit of the black strap could be seen where the fabric first parted every time I took a step. To the untrained eye it'd probably look like some type of weird lingerie, but to someone who is used to seeing them, like Rufus Shinra, it probably stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Oh..hehe...really?" was that a good thing or a bad thing that he was surprised?

"And now you're wondering if that is a good thing or a bad thing."

I seriously had to stop being so readable. What kind of Turk was that easy to read?

"Kinda, yeah..." my hair finally fell from behind my ear and swung into my face just as I reached the foot of the stairs, cautiously I stepped down. I let out a sigh of relief; I'd reached ground without making an ass out of myself. "Is that a good thing?" I pushed my hair out of my eyes.

"I'd like to think so. I'm not actually surprised that you brought it with you, it's more intriguing as to _where_ you chose to have it." he further implied the 'where' with a casual gesture and a raised eyebrow. I blushed and self consciously ran my palm over the gun strapped to my hip. He chuckled softly at my expense.

"Aww well...now I feel a little silly." I dug my heel into the grass until it sunk into the dirt beneath and pulled it out to examine the tiny hole created by them. I had a tendency to do subtly random things at random moments didn't I...?

"Oh, you shouldn't, you should always be prepared." with that said, he opened the left side of his suit jacket in one very suave manner. I giggled and eyed the new addition to his firearms. So apparently I wasn't the only one packing, he was carrying, not his shotgun of course, but a black pistol. He smirked slightly and hid the weapon away again.

Very sexy. Very sexy in deed. Which one? Rufus Shinra or the gun? Then again both were definitely interchangeable, they both were hot. There was nothing wrong with calling an inanimate object hot, especially when it was attached to someone superbly attractive.

"Very nice." I nodded in approval. "Very unexpected, yet totally expected." I grinned. How cute was _I _right now?

"A paradox." he commented, airily. With that he walked past me and I followed.

The trees rustled every so often causing some of their leaves to fly off and into the air around us. I caught one of them in my hand and ran my fingers across the smooth side and traced the lines on the back. The dark brown leaf felt so light and fragile in my hand. Why were the leaves brown anyway? I looked beyond the trees that lined the wide concrete path. The City surrounded us. Tall dark skyscrapers and their millions of lights made me think, for a wild second, of fairies. I wonder what they're doing in those buildings. Getting ready to sleep? Shaving? Engaging in late night work and responsibilities? Watching television? Or..engaging in a bit of forbidden office affair? At that thought my cheeks grew warm and I suddenly felt embarrassed. _Forbidden office affair? _Hehehehe, what should I call this? I glanced over at Rufus. What could this be called? It wasn't necessarily an affair. I mean we haven't done anything affair-like! And whatever it was couldn't be forbidden because well he "makes the rules."

Rufus looked over at me from the corner of his eye. I looked away quickly and instead stared at the ground. Our shadows walked ahead of us using the reflection from the street lamps that lined the path.

"It's pretty here." I commented softly. I wasn't really intending for him to hear me. "I remember..." I stared at the leaf in my hand before crushing its brittle structure in my palm. "When I was little..." the broken leaf fell between my fingers and littered the sidewalk. I walked on their remains as we continued forward. They were crushed under my heels with a satisfying crack. "..oh you probably don't want to hear it. " I laughed softly. "Sir, I am sorry that I talk way too much." I tucked my hair behind my ears and took another glance in his direction.

"No...continue. " Rufus wasn't looking at me but at the scenery around us. I felt a little put-out. I wanted him to be giving me his undivided attention! Who am I to demand that anyway? I'll just keep talking and assume he's listening.

"Oh." I smiled and looked down at the ground. It was littered with leaves. I watched my feet move. "Alright. Well when I was about twelve my sister and I were at a park it was like far from any city and we were with my parents. Anyway, it was really windy that day and the leaves were being blown from the trees just like this. It just reminded me of it is all. "I shrugged. Should I keep going? Or , should I be smart and shut up? Rufus didn't want to hear what I had to say I'm sure. By now he could write a encyclopedia about all the stuff I've told him.

The wind blew again. Right across my bare shoulders and arms. I shivered and crossed my arms, running my hands up and down them to create some sort of friction. I was seriously wishing I'd worn a jacket or something practical and smart. I wasn't one of those people that sacrificed comfort and general health for beauty or to look sexy. What if he was thinking I was one of those shallow airheads? I cast a furtive glance at him. I _could_ ask him for his suit jacket. Yes that's what I'd do.

I opened my mouth and formed the words in my head then I promptly shut it. How cliché was _that? _Besides if President Rufus Shinra seriously wanted to give me his jacket he would have done it by now. Besides, what's with that whole men-have-to-give-jacket-or-soul-to-provide-warmth-for-half-naked-woman thing? What if the guy was cold his damn self? What gave her the right to do that just because she wants to not only be naked enough to turn him on but also to prove that he'll sacrifice for her? That was some nonsense. I'm not going to be one of those Damsels in Distress. If I was cold I should have brought my jacket. I will happily feel the slight chill in the air. Its not bad. Not bad at all.

"What are you thinking about?" Rufus' mildly interested voice broke my train of thought. We stopped at a fork in the path. Where to go hmm..

"Oh nothing really. Just about being cold and about how stupid it is for a guy to give a woman his coat just because she was too dumb to bring her own." I answered before I could stop myself.

Rufus raised an eyebrow and eyed me for a moment. Now I feel a little stupid. I bet he's trying to figure out why the hell he even asked my dumb ass that question. He'd probably expected a one word answer or one sentence maximum.

"Are _you_ cold?" his frigid blue eyes traveled pointedly over my gown. I crossed my arms tightly under my breasts and shook my head. "I think you are." a small smirk played on his lips. What was going through his head?

"Well..kinda." a surge of hope shot through me. Secretly I would love if he'd let me wear his jacket and it had very little to do with being cold.

"How about we try something different."

Different? What did he mean 'different'? Did Rufus mean for us to switch outfits? I don't know about that! He wears so many layers I might get lost halfway through. And I didn't want to see him in my evening gown. Wow..how absurd can I get?

"Different, sir?" I looked away innocently raising my eyebrows and widening my eyes. Maybe by different he meant?

"Yes, different."

Rufus pulled me close to his side and put an arm around my shoulders. The tip of his fingers traced my arm sending a mind numbing tingle through me. Heat rushed up to my face. Surely I was comparable to a tomato now. Well one thing was for certain this definitely beat being a little cold. Taking complete advantage of this I rested my head on his shoulders and smiled slightly to myself. How many people could open their mouths and say that Rufus Shinra volunteered to be their own personal jacket so to speak?

Not any!

Shielded somewhat from the cool night air my mind was free to go into overdrive. As we continued at our own slow pace down the left path I tried to think of something to say. I could hear the sound of falling water in the distance.

"Sir, have you gotten a new pet?" I asked tentatively. Rufus had enough information on me to write a trilogy while I still knew exactly what I knew about him an hour ago: practically nothing. It was only fair. I knew about Dark Nation, his black panther that had always been by his side, so it was worth the shot of asking. Pets, regardless of their cuteness—or in Dark Nation's case their not so cuteness-- always held a soft spot in my heart. Rufus with a pet made me want to believe that he was warm hearted some kind of way too.

"No." he sighed slightly. If I hadn't been so close to him the sound would have been washed away into the wind. Did that make him sad? I know that guy, Cloud, had done something to Dark Nation to hurt it but I wasn't sure exactly of all the details.

"Why not? Do you like animals a lot?" I closed my eyes and waited for his answer.

"Not particularly. If they're useful then perhaps. Why are you asking me about animals?" he inquired softly against my ear.

So he only liked his pet because it was useful? Was I only liked because I was useful? Well..probably…kinda. I mean I'm a Turk. But I'd like to think he didn't think I was just a tool. Is that naive of me? I don't think so. Who came up with the word naive anyway? Whoever did, they're the naive ones. Hell.

"I personally like kittens though puppies are great too. I don't really care for them by the time they get all big and adult-like. They get lazy. Honestly I don't think I can really take care for anything for prolonged periods of time. I had a pet fish once and it barely lived a week. Haha I stopped trying to get pets when I was twelve."

There was silence at the end of my speech other than the low distant hum of traffic. I groaned internally. How often do I fail to realize that I haven't shut up?

"And why's that?" Rufus apparently was paying attention to my rambling. So diplomatic.

"Because my sister told me that I'm an animal killer." I shrugged. "How about you?"I quickly went back to the subject at hand. It is hard to stay on subject when Rufus keeps

directing everything towards me. Oh I noticed...I noticed. It's nice of him to want to know more about me but hey I want to know more about him too.

"Did you have Dark Nation since you were like a kid?" it was kinda hard to imagine Rufus Shinra as a kid with a cute cuddly younger Dark Nation. I bet he had a unique childhood.

"You could say that." he muttered airily. Was he losing interest in our conversation? Or did he just not want to talk about his dead pet?

Regardless of what, I had to think fast. Can't have Rufus becoming disinterested now can we?

"So..."I trailed off and looked at the street lamps for inspiration. I stared over at them until weird colors dotted my vision. Blinking furiously finally I looked away. "Tell me something about yourself Rufus, sir."

"You already know enough, Elena." He replied. Drat. I could never know enough.

How fair is it that he barely answers the questions? Then again I might just think that because I talk too much. Eh, but no one could ever know "too much!" Right?

"Oh come on Rufus, sir. Don't you think that lil ole me deserves to know something?" I asked lightly with a laugh. Rufus chuckled softly but otherwise did not answer me.

I gave up for the time being and contented myself with listening to the sound of water that was getting louder. Maybe he didn't want to muck up the evening by talking? Eh, wishful thinking on my part. I don't know if he was that much of a romantic and at this rate I wouldn't know. Damn sexy enigma.

It was then that we came upon the source of the water I had been hearing: a fountain. A rather big one at that. It situated right in the middle of the park and clearly was the focal point. Water came from four women statues with wings. In their heaven stretched hands they held up some odd symbol which is where the water fell and pooled at the hem of their robes in the base of the fountain. Light behind them set the statues off in a beautiful but eerie blue glow. I bet it was deep. I wanted to find out.

I released myself from his hold and walked ahead of him towards the fountain. Sitting at the edge of it I leaned over slightly and peered into the dark water. The only thing that was reflected in on its surface was my jewelry, appearing as little sparkles. Extending my hand I let the cold water run into my palm and spill between my fingers. I allowed my arm to disappear into the water up until it went past my elbow. My fingers barely touched the slick base of the fountain. Before I risked falling in I pulled back slightly. I noticed Rufus sit down too from the corner of my eye and for some reason I felt the urge to smile to myself. There was no hiding the grin tugging at the corners of my mouth. Sometimes I would smile for no reason. This must was one of those times.

"Sir?" I asked while running my hand in circles in the water. "how is your new secretary working out for you?"

"Why do you ask?"

I shrugged. Why _did _I ask?

"I've met her before, she seems..." I trailed off. How do describe Chaminade? Hmmm.

"Overly curious." he finished.

Looking up at him I cocked my head to the side. "Curious?"

He nodded. "Curious."

Being curious wasn't exactly something someone working for Shin-Ra would want to be. Or at least not be obvious with. We all know what curiosity killed.

"You know what I'm curious about?" I scooped some water into my hands and briefly watched it fall and make new ripples.

"Go on..."

Grinning I kept my eyes focused on the water. "You and Tseng. Are you two like friends or something? Reno is the one that came up with the idea. I asked him if he and Rude were friends and he replied with a very affirmative 'hells yeah'"

" Reno comes up with lots of things. " he scoffed. "In this world and especially in your line of work it is not wise to grow 'attached' to anyone. Am I right?" his question wasn't actually meant for me to answer it but being me I answered it anyway.

"So...that's a no. But I mean...sometimes people just get attached right? There's nothing wrong with that." So what did this mean then? Was he not attached to me? Of course not! I mean...of course not. This is not some fairy tale or something. Stuff was happening right now probably and I could easily get shot up or something tomorrow. Of course he wasn't attached to me. I wasn't attached to him either. He had barely spoken to me up until about two weeks ago. And that raised a million other questions. But I had to admit, his answer still put a damper on my mood.

"It will just cause unnecessary grief and undirected rage. Why would you want to put yourself through that?" he asked me like it was the most logical thing in the world. Once again I wasn't sure if I was supposed to answer that but I took a stab at it anyway.

"I dunno. Have you ever had that problem? Like when.." I trailed off and played with the water. Bringing up his father wasn't exactly something I wanted to do. He hated the guy, that much was obvious but still there had to be someone out there that he'd boohoo for right?

"No. That only happens when you _actually care_ about someone."

Probably not. How depressing.

"Oh.." I gnawed on my lip, and sucked on it a little between my teeth before talking again. "...oh...okay. So that means.."

_That means he could never...?_

"Don't over analyze things, Elena."

Nodding I drew my hand from the water and shook it from my hands. "You're so right."

It still put a damper on my mood anyway. That was not what I had wanted to hear. Call me a hopeless romantic but hell. Maybe I had wanted to believe that he really cared about me or something? Maybe I didn't want to live in the real world for a moment. I know its impossible. I know it's silly but hey why else would he ask me out? I still didn't know the answer to that question. The real question was: did I really want to know the answer to that question? Probably. Then again probably not.

I guess I'll have to take that chance and find out now won't I?

"Rufus, sir?" I looked over at him.

Rufus had been looking thoughtfully at the water. When I addressed him he looked my way and his chilly blue eyes met mine. I lost my nerve then. He looked at me expectantly, waiting on my question. I opened my mouth slightly but closed it just as fast. Shifting uncomfortably I looked away instead at the ground. For some reason I felt really insecure now and very transparent as if he could see what I was thinking right now. Knowing him he probably could.

"Well?" he prompted me with an air of exasperation.

_Why me?_

I wanted to know what this was all about but I couldn't find it in myself to ask him. Gah, great job Elena at being too much of a wimp to ask a simple question. Regardless, I better answer him right now before he got any more annoyed with my silence.

"Oh nothing.." I shrugged airily. "I was just thinking about..how..the uh..." I knocked my heels against the side of the fountain walls. "...yeah."

"What?" he didn't sound confused at my weird string of words. Just exasperated.

"Oh I dunno. I was just thinking about how it's getting later...er.."

Yes folks that's her. That's Elena that can not only perform amazingly bad under pressure but has the uncanny ability to string unrelated words and syllables together. To top it off she has about as much courage as a kitten. Actually kittens probably have more courage than her. Shit. Just when everything was going so well..though it was probably in my best interest to get back home before I ended up getting my foot so far in my mouth that even the Jaws of Life couldn't remove it. So far I had been lucky. I can only imagine what's going through his head. He's probably wondering why the hell he asked me out. Ha..what do you know..I was wondering the same thing.

"Ahh. I'll bet you were." his tone was slightly sarcastic though he didn't seem at all annoyed with me.

Yeah I knew he could read minds. I just knew it. I was probably the worst liar since who knows when.

"Heheh..." I giggled uncertainly.

"Let's get you back home before your bedtime." he stood up and held out his hand.

"Very funny. We're the same age so if this is my bedtime its yours too." I latched on to the change of subject with the little amount of charm I was delusional enough to believe I possessed.

"Well then, since we have that established." he went along with my comment coyly.

I nodded and took his hand, allowing him to pull me to my feet. I walked silently beside him with my arms crossed to fight the slight chill that still hung in the air. This time he did not offer to help me with this problem. I didn't really mind though, the cool air didn't bother me as much now which probably was linked to the fact that I was radiating more heat than was necessary. Touching the side of my face I confirmed this theory. Dang it, how often to I blush these days? As a matter of fact, how often would I blush once I returned to work?

Man! I hadn't even thought about that. I was too busy freaking out over the fact that Rufus Shinra seemed remotely interested in me to even really reflect on the kind of impact this would have on the work environment. Way to put priorities in order, Elena. I guess I'd find out how things at work once I got back to work? Ooh I don't like suspense.

"What were you going to ask me back at the fountain?" Rufus inquired. There was something in his tone that made me wonder. Sure he talked like he always talked but _something_ seemed different in the way he asked it.

"What do you mean?" I knew exactly what he was talking about but I opted to play dumb.

"You know exactly what I mean." Rufus pushed his hair back only for it to fall back perfectly into place. Man that move right there might be a little pompous but it was a lot of hot. "Tell me."

I nibbled my bottom lip and tightened my arms-crossed position. Why did he have to be so persuasive? Darn. Quickly I weighed my alternative options: I could lie to him. But then again that wouldn't work because I am not good at deceiving anyone especially not him. I could change subjects but then again he would catch on to that. I could just avoid answering him. But yeah right that's not going to happen. I was compelled to answer him anyway. Because if Rufus Shinra wanted to know something then, damn it, he would know it.

Bah.

"Um." I shrugged. "I don't remember...er..okay. I do but it's not really important."

"It must be important to you or you wouldn't have looked so concerned." he regarded me with a suspicious raised eyebrow. Okay maybe it wasn't suspicious. Maybe I was paranoid. Why was I paranoid again?

"Concerned? When did I look concerned? I don't look concerned. I'm totally unconcerned." I topped off this load of crap with a weird little laugh that was supposed to come off as nonchalant.

"..."

Fine. I tucked my hair behind my ears and took a deep breath. I'd wanted the answer so there was no time like the present. In the time it took for me to get around to opening my mouth again we had reached his car. It wasn't parked where I remembered.

Anyway..

That short beeping noise told me he'd unlocked the doors before we'd actually gotten within a foot of the vehicle.

"I'm still waiting on your question." Rufus reminded me while walking around the car to the passenger side. He opened the door for me.

I made an uneasy sound and slid into the car. After I moved the hem of my dress out of the way he shut the door.

Okay this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to just ask him without hesitation. Its just like pulling off a band aid. I'm sure I'm the only person that can compare something totally harmless with something potentially painful. Who even came up with that Band Aid shit? That stuff hurt regardless of how you pulled it off. Fast or slow didn't really matter. _Wait what?_ Why am I thinking about band aids?

Rufus joined me in the car. There was no hope in thinking he might have let the question go of course. He looked over at me expectantly. Even in the semi-dark interior of the car I could see an almost invisible smirk playing on his face. It was almost as if he knew what I was about to say even before I really knew what I was going to say.

_Okay here we go. _

I adverted my gaze to the scenery outside of the window, bit my lip, and drew in a small breath.

"Why me, sir?" as soon as the words escaped my reluctant lips I wished I hadn't asked. I stared at my lap and waited for the answer. Maybe I didn't want to know the answer now. What if it wasn't what I wanted to hear? I didn't even know _what_ I wanted to hear.

He was silent. Was he going to answer me? I'm not sure if no answer at all was better or worse. Definitely worse. I would drive myself insane not knowing. Was he going to even answer me?

"Sir?" Still biting my bottom lip I dared to look at him but lost my nerve halfway through. I could feel his eyes on me. "uh..well..you don't have to answer its silly really." I mumbled.

Finally he answered me. With another question.

"Why do you think?" he inquired smoothly.

"I.." my eyes traveled to the scenery outside of the window again. "I..don't know. I don't really get why you would..." I shrugged. What was I supposed to say? I honestly had no idea what he was thinking.

"Why I would...?" he prompted me to continue.

I was silent for a moment. Then I spoke while barely opening my mouth.

"Why you would be interested in me of all people, of course. I mean you could have anyone and then I'm not even worth remembering. I'm not amazingly beautiful. I'm not remarkable or powerful. I'm a junior Turk. A rookie. I am nowhere near your status..." I sighed and stared out of the window intently. "Honestly...I'm surprised you even know my name... " I stared down at my lap. I didn't want to say anything else. What now?

Silence met my words. I was seriously regretting answering him now. Only one of two things could really happen logically. He could ignore my questions and take me home or he could...well...answer me. I'm not sure which would have been better.

"Elena. Do you really believe that?" he questioned me.

I nodded and practically gnashed on my bottom lip. "...yes...a bit.."

The warmth of his hand came against the side of my face. He guided me to look at him. My eyes met the generally cold blue ones that belonged to Rufus Shinra. My cheeks grew warm. I had that familiar urge to look away that everyone had when they were in a confrontational situation. He didn't say anything and he didn't have to, he merely studied me silently. I suddenly became very aware of my body and what every part of it was doing--or not doing. What was I going to do with myself? Just sit here with my hands in my lap until he said something? Yes. That's exactly what I am going to do.

"...tell me something. Do you not think you are beautiful?" he asked softly, his eyes never left mine. "Or eye-catching? What do you think the standards are to be that way?"

_What am I supposed to say to that?_

"I...yes. I do think I am but...just...not to anyone else. I don't try to be beautiful or stunning or amazing...sir. Everyone knows I'm just average...and.." I trailed off.

"Clearly, I am not _everyone else_. Elena."

"...true..." I agreed uncertainly.

What I thought was going to happen next did not happen. He did not get out of my personal space and drop the subject since we had come to some sort of an agreement. _Rufus kissed me._

His lips met and covered mine softly with their warmth. A jolt of energy shot through me. My eyes closed gradually on their own. I was still biting my lip. His hands found my waist and I was guided closer to him. I froze. What was I supposed to do? Wait, when did this start happening? I was not allowed to kiss or be kissed by _him_. It was against some kind of unwritten rule! There was a little more pressure against my mouth; it was then that I realized I wasn't breathing. I parted my lips to allow some air. A soft gasp as a totally new sensation clouded my mind. He'd coaxed my lips to part a little more and deepened the kiss. I tensed. This is _Rufus Shinra. _Thoughts flashed across the blank canvas of my mind. What was I supposed to do? Kiss him back? What was I going to do with my hands?!

It was as if he could read my mind. Inside of the darkness of my eyelids I felt his hands cover mine. He moved them to his shoulders, released them, and found my waist again. Another sharp tingle rushed through me. I found myself fading tentatively into the moment and giving into these new and unfamiliar sensations. My arms went around his neck, and my fingers brushed his soft hair. I kissed him back.

_Was this really happening? Was he really? Was I really? I don't want it to end. What's that sound? That doesn't make any sense. That shouldn't be heard right now. Its ruining the moment. Ignore it. Ignore it. Why do I hear a cell phone ringing?_

The kiss ended. I stayed in his embrace, stunned. My chin rested on his shoulders, I stared wide-eyed into the night outside of his window. I wasn't really seeing what I was looking at. Slowly, I became aware of my surroundings even though my mind was still in a fog. When he released me from his embrace I leaned back in my seat silently. It was then that I realized that I was trembling.

The ringing phone had finally stopped. I looked over at Rufus. He flipped open his cell phone with a intense glance in my direction. I adverted my eyes. _What had just happened?_

* * *

--

* * *

_**Goodwitch08: This chapter took me a little longer than expected to complete. I had gotten off to a great start but then I had to do some school related things and club related things. The ending scene was a little hard for me to write. I say this because though I practice these scenes I can't help but feel that I have not perfected my ability to write them. I did not go into detail with that particular scene because at this stage too much would have been "out of character" for them per say. Not to mention, giving the fact that she wasn't expecting this to happen her actions are somewhat stiff and she can't think straight because she can never really--in that moment , at least-- become accustomed to the fact that this is happening to her.**_

_**Don't forget to leave reviews. I really appreciate feedback.**_


	10. Normalcy

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**Chapter 10**

**_Normalcy_**

* * *

Even thought sunlight wasn't present and its beams were not crossing the white ceiling I knew it was now daylight. There is a bird outside of the window, its mouth is moving yet there is no song coming out. Something that would usually be annoying..I can't hear it right now..no music and no beeping. I know its there but I can't hear it. I'm in my own little bubble. A part of the world but not really. Totally vulnerable but completely protected. I'm lying on my back with that empty feeling a person gets when they feel like they have not gotten any rest but they are pretty sure they went into a sleep cycle. Its a new week. That's why I can't hear anything but my own thoughts. The same thoughts that had been circulating through my mind all weekend.

What was going to happen now? What am I going to do about what happened between Rufus Shinra and myself two days ago? I couldn't just act as if nothing had happened now could I? Something major had happened. We'd shared a –rather mind blowing-- kiss. I know that traditionally at the end of a date that is supposed to happen. But not like that. Not with him. Ever. None of that was supposed to happen. I never was supposed to go out with him. It broke unwritten rules and that was bound to be dangerous. What if I pissed him off and so he got rid of me? This was not like I had kissed someone remotely near my level or in my department. This was the President. This was my boss. Its a little too late to think about that now though isn't it? What happened has happened and I'll just have to suffer the consequences.

He's not a predictable person at all. Who knows what he will do? And then what about me? How am I supposed to act now that I've spent an evening with him and ended up kissing him? There was so many things inappropriate about that wasn't it? So many. Undeniably. Three weeks ago I wouldn't have ever seen myself in this situation. I wouldn't have ever seen myself lying on my back at six o'clock in the morning staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out how I'm supposed to conduct myself now that I had spent some time with Rufus Shirna. I mean were we in a relationship now? No..of course not. I mean..no. Going on one date with someone doesn't constitute a relationship. I just happened to share a rather exhilarating kiss with him. That doesn't mean we're in a relationship.

"Gah! How frustrating." I sat up in bed , finally, and drew my knees up to my chest. It brought me little comfort. I had been running around these same exact thoughts since that night. I'd tried to distract myself all weekend with other things but Rufus was the main thing on my mind. All I want is a little certainty for once. Was that a bit too much to ask when my life was full of 'what ifs'? Probably. "man.."

I covered my face in my hands for a moment and let out a long unnecessarily dramatic groan. I knew I didn't have much more time to sit here and contemplate about this. I had to get going. Something told me today would be a busy day for me. I threw the sheets off of my self and crawled out of bed to start my morning routine.

* * *

Somehow I expected something to be noticeably different today. I was wrong apparently. Everything seemed perfectly routine when I entered the ShinRa building. Perhaps I was expecting something to explode or perhaps to be promptly executed on the spot. Regardless of how stupid that sounded I expected something to be different. But it wasn't. At all. Sure here at ShinRa nothing was ever exactly routine or normal but that in itself was ..well..routine and normal. Nobody looked at me funny or anything. I just expected something to be different. I was painfully discrete and overly nice just in case somebody in particular was watching. I even allowed Edna to pester me about the state of the sky today without totally ignoring her while signing in. To anyone looking I probably looked like I had a pocket full of sunshine. Which...honestly, I did but it wasn't a pocketful as it usually was. It was more like a small, dim, and worried ray of sunshine.

So I decided to act as if nothing was amiss and like I had not just made out with Rufus Shinra two days ago. I can only imagine how long this will last. My silence, that is. Would I end up blurting out this secret to the first random ShinRa employee I saw? Let's hope not.

After avoiding all elevators for more than just paranoid reasons I reached my floor. The first thought on my mind was coffee. I wanted coffee. I needed coffee. I couldn't shake that feeling that I hadn't gotten any sleep for the past few days even though I was well aware of loosing consciousness. Good thing we have our own something of a lounge up here, I really didn't want to take another trip down any stairs and especially not to the heavily frequented areas where I might run into an awkward situation. So instead of heading into my office I took a left down an adjoining hall. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as well as the sound of low casual conversation as I neared the slightly ajar lounge doors. I paused and listened.

"...about time. I was beginning to think those idiots had gotten away from us." Reno's voice was the first one I recognized.

"...of course not Reno." Rude's voice was much calmer than Reno's. I liked how he talked.

"...we'll find out later." Tseng's voice joined the conversation.

What were they talking about ,I wonder? I pushed the door open. The first thing I realized was that the lounge had been 'remodeled' again by Reno. The two arm chairs and sofas now sat in their own little area along with the coffee table. They were near the window and were now set up like a living room. The coffee machine and the table full of random edible things were on the other side of the room. The snack machines and drink machines sat at the center of the room. The second thing I realized was that the conversation had stopped and three pairs of eyes fell on me. I instantly felt paranoid. They all knew about the date didn't they!? They knew I kissed Rufus Shinra and now they've branded me the company whore haven't they!?

"Look who it is."

The speaker, Reno, wore a lazy yet smug look on his face. His tall lanky frame was leaning against the table that held the coffee machine and nursing a cup with steam floating out of it. His blue eyes stayed on me for a moment before taking time to peer into his mug as if there was something very interesting about it. "...hmm.."

I raised an eyebrow and waited. There was also something more to come of this 'hmm' of his. There usually is.

"Good morning, Elena." Rude was sitting in a very comfortable looking dark red armchair that was part of a set. His black shoes were propped up on the coffee table and he too was nursing a cup of coffee. Thought I couldn't be sure, because he wears sunglasses all the time, I think his eyes were closed. He seemed like he had not gotten much rest last night. More than likely this was because of something his partner, Reno did. Hell, most definitely.

"Good morning Rude, Reno." I smiled brightly at them. "Good morning, Tseng."

Tseng was leaning against painting on the wall and pressing buttons on his cellphone. He looked up briefly from it and acknowledged my presence. Wow, don't I feel special?

"Good morning, Elena." he seemed preoccupied with a function on his phone.

"So what were you talking about?" I wasn't asking anyone in particular. I headed over to the coffee machine. Yes, perfectly made coffee without having to worry about burning my tongue. I reached for a mug only for Reno to put a hand on the stack.

"Hold on." Reno peered down at me with a sadistic little gleam in his eye. Oh no. I was beginning to know that gleam all too well.

"Why?" I withdrew my hand and crossed my arms.

"What's my favorite thing to put in coffee?" he challenged me. Was he serious? Of course. An impish grin crossed his features. That little red haired ..

"Uh..I dunno." I shrugged. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Reno sighed and removed his hand from the mugs. "You were supposed to check out my surroundings. If you had you would have spotted eighteen--" he opened a pink packet and pour it into his mug. "--nineteen open sugar packets littered on the floor. That's how you would have figured it out without too much thought."

"Oh..I didn't think of that." I nibbled my bottom lip and silently counted the sugar packets.

"I know." Reno poked me in the middle of my forehead sharply and took another sip of his drink. "you have to pay attention to stuff like that."

Picking up a spoon Reno stirred his drink and then added ten more sugar packets. "Bah this stuff is still not good enough. There is so not enough caffeine in this shit." he muttered to himself. I found myself raising another eyebrow. He looked at me as if he was surprised I was still beside him. "Like I was saying, Laney, you have to notice little things like that. Sometimes its the little things that tell the story. C'mon now rookie you're supposed to know that."

Another Reno training session. He's right of course. He did these ever so often to me to see if I was on top of my game. I had successfully failed every last one of these tests. Poor me.

"...you're so right." I nodded and reached for a mug again. My fingertips brushed the edge of a particular blue one before he slapped my hand away. "Oh come on now!" I protested. This was soo not cool.

"Wait I have another question for ya." he grinned.

"Maybe caffeine for you isn't a good idea." I sighed lightly and leaned against the table. "What is the question?"

Reno finished off his drink and pour himself another cup. I watched in mild amazement as he dumped several spoonfuls of real sugar into the cup, then cream, then finally thirty packs of the other packaged sweetener. He never ceased to amaze me. How could someone function on that much of a rush?

"Alright, chick." he stirred his drink. "..how was your date the other night?" he laughed. Looking up mischievously he added. "Has our Laney been deflowered?"

"What?!"

"Maybe we should find the punk and kill him." Rude added calmly. Man it was really bad when Rude joined in the torturing of me now wasn't it.

"Definitely , Rude. Elena's like a little sister to us." Reno blew into his cup causing the smoke to disperse.

"I feel so loved." I pushed his hand out of the way and got myself a cup. "My date was fine.." staring at the brown liquid going into my mug was the only way I could avoid looking in Reno's eyes. He would easily force me to tell him what he wanted to know: who was the guy. That's what he wanted to know and that's what I wasn't going to tell him. "...he was fine. I was fine. It was fine. I wore a nice blue gown, very nice. It v-necked in places and I believe it had a split in it." I poured some cream into my cup and watched the white merge with the brown. "I think I was really pretty in it. The heels were a little painful after a while though. These heels in these boots have nothing on those heels in those dress shoes." I picked up a silver spoon and stirred my drink silently.

"So who was the lucky guy?" Reno left my side. He lay his long frame on a couch across from Rude and sat his drink down.

"Er..no one in particular." I brought my drink to my lips and took a cautious sip. Slightly sweetened liquid with an aftertaste of coffee beans flowed down my throat. It was warm but definitely not scalding. Unlike that terribly memorable morning where everything just seemed to go wrong up until a point. "...no one in particular."

Reno was quiet for a moment. "Bullshit." he muttered almost to himself. "Rude she's lying to us." he grabbed a pen off of the coffee table and tossed it at Rude who caught it without even trying. "..can't you tell?"

Rude nodded.

"You're supposed to be on my side, Rude..." I mock-pouted for a second and took another sip of my drink. "Besides, Reno, how can you tell if I'm lying or not?"

"Oh my dear sweet naïve rookie, you repeated yourself. That is one of the key signs that someone is lying. And then your voice has this way of getting a little high pitched and squeaky when you're hiding something." Reno stated in a lazy but matter-of-fact manner. How did he know these things? Was I asleep during this part of the training or something? Then again..

" So..that doesn't mean anything Reno." I took a long draft of my coffee. I could already feel the caffeine kicking in towards my nerves and brain cells. Or maybe that was just the tiniest hint of adrenaline I got from Reno's interrogation. Fight or flight they say. I think I want to try the flight part this time.

"Means a lot. Who's the lucky guy? C'mon tells us. Its not any of us in this room so who is it?"

"And how do you know that?" I countered stupidly. Well duh he'd know where he and his partner Rude was because they were inseparable. I was inadvertently putting poor Tseng in a bad situation wasn't it?

"Well lets see."Reno sat up on the couch. He tugged on his ponytail before beginning to chew on it thoughtfully. "...Rude was with me Friday. Tseng was here late being a workaholic moron..so that leaves any one else but myself, Rude, and Tseng. Try again." he winked at me smugly. Gotta love that Reno, regardless of how much he insisted on picking at me.

"It's not important." I shrugged and took another sip of my drink.

"It's so is. This way we can track the fuckwad down and threaten to cut off his testicles and feed them to him after gouging out his eyes if he ever hurts ya. You're one of us so you're our girl and we can't have you dating any ole body." Reno picked up his coffee again and held it up in the air.

"I guess so.." I raised mine too in salute. "But.." I put my half empty cup down. "He's not any ole body. He's.." I trailed off for a moment. "He's pretty neat. Maybe you should have chaperoned if you are that worried."

I giggled to myself. Imagining Reno and Rude chaperoning Rufus and I was something I would love to witness. We would promptly tie them up and put them in the trunk of course.

"Great idea." Reno stood up and stretched.

"I'm pretty sure I don't need a chaperon." I giggled into my cup.

"Why not?" Reno pretended to be innocently confused.

"Because." I rolled my eyes with another small laugh. "I'm a grown woman who is very capable of taking care of herself and I'm twenty-one not twelve. I'll have you know that I wore my gun on the date. Yep it was strapped around my hip. He thought it was very attractive that I wore it. He had one on too in his suit." I nodded.

"Oh..really now?" Reno had become more interested. Darn.

"Pretty much." I shrugged. "Stop asking me Reno. I don't want to tell you who he is because then he won't want to see me again because you'll be all mean and give him a black eye and stuff. He's soo defenseless and not capable of taking care of himself." I bit my lip and made my eyes get really big and concerned. I might not be a great liar but with a little exaggeration of facial expressions I could come off as a little persuasive with my innocence that everyone says I possess. Sometimes I manipulated this trait for my own advantage. Rarely, but this time was as good as any.

Reno rolled his eyes and scoffed. "I highly doubt that. What is he like a secretary or something? Works in the library?" he chuckled.

No, Reno, he's not any of the above. He's your boss's boss's boss. He's the President. Take that!

"Yep." I nodded while taking a sip. "Totally."

Reno was back at the table beside me and deliberating between dough nuts and cereal bars. He stroked his chin in deep concentration and furrowed his brow. I watched him for a moment, a small grin tugged at my lips. "How about both?"

"I'm on a diet." Reno said without missing a beat.

"Being that skinny I would hope not."I giggled softly and grabbed a bar for myself.

Reno gasped in mock offense and covered his mouth. "So mean!" then he took three dough nuts and went back to Rude. He was still nursing that same cup of coffee. I raised an eyebrow.

"Reno what did you do to Rude this time?" I asked , unwrapping my choice. I looked up at him. Reno was grinning from ear to ear now with a gleam in those blue eyes of his.

"He shouldn't have tested me." was all he said. I was about to ask for more information when Tseng spoke for the second time since I'd joined them.

Snapping his cellphone closed was like cracking a whip in my ears. I fell silent and looked over at him expectantly. Reno and Rude were talking amongst themselves now, I could hear their quiet chatter in the background.

"Elena, I've already informed them so now I'll inform you." he flipped his cellphone open again, read something on the screen, rolled his eyes, and then shut it.

"Sir?" I leaned against the coffee machine lightly. I didn't want to end up knocking it over that wouldn't be good for me now would it?

"..we've been tentatively preparing to go to to a new location." he put his cellphone away. I nodded.

"Why?" I am so glad that we've gotten something else to do I can barely contain my excitement. I can't stand sitting around being useless I don't see why Reno almost always complains when we have a field assignment. Its fun to me! Maybe that's because I'm a rookie, or at least that's what Reno said on the first mission they took me on with them. I remember that mission very well..I single-handedly let our apparent enemies know where we were going and who we were following and where he was too. I had caught so much hell for that one. This was a chance to prove a little more useful!

"I'll give the details later." he said simply. I watched him head for the door to let himself out. Suddenly I wanted to say something to him, I didn't want him to leave just yet.

"Si-" I opened my mouth to call out to him. My intention was to ask him how his day was or to bid him a nice day.

"Hey, Elena."

I turned around to Reno. What did he want now? I cast a furtive glance in Tseng's direction but he had already left me with these two.

"Huh?"

"Did you finish that stack of paperwork from the other day?" Reno cracked his knuckles and peered at me with odd interest. What was he getting at?

"Uh... yeah." I nodded and threw the rest of my cereal bar in the trash. I didn't really feel like eating anymore, which—according to Rude-- is the first sign that something is 'off balance' with me. He was usually right. I'm sure he was watching me under the scrutiny of those sunglasses but I didn't check in his direction to see.

Reno sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Man...I didn't even get half way through. Neither did Rude. We were so busy..and.." he sighed again dramatically. "they just have us doing so much y'know. You're lucky you're a rookie, they don't expect so much out of you."

Rude agreed. Well if that was the case I could..do their work for them. They probably did work harder than myself and I wanted them to like me so..I decided to do their work for them. It didn't matter who did it, all that mattered was that it got done.

"I'll do it for you guys. If you want me to. I don't really have anything to do right now." I smiled slightly at the red head.

* * *

_Those two tricked me into doing their work for them._

When I got into my office I set out and got to work on the identical stacks of paperwork that had ended up on my desk. Compliments of Reno and Rude. I don't know why I let them pass their mundane responsibilities on me. Its not like I mind at all, I like to help out wherever I'm needed. It made me feel useful. It didn't even feel like work when I turned on my iPod and absorbed the variety of music while pouring half of my concentration into what I was doing.

"The last time I listened to this particular song.." I thought aloud to myself. I put down a document I was getting ready to read and sat back in my chair. The last time I had listened to this song Rufus had come into my office behind me. That had happened during the night though with a quick glance outside most of the time it was hard to differentiate between day and night here in Midgar. I wonder what Rufus was doing right now? I doubt he was thinking about me. I mean why would he be? He was probably busy doing something. What did he do anyway? Other than..make other people do things? Hmm..maybe I'll ask him the next time I see him. Or maybe not.

I pushed that thought to the back of my mind and continued on my work. I focused hard on the task at hand that seemed to have no end in sight. Editing, sorting, resorting, re-editing, paper cuts, and short breaks in between to check out something on-line or in the database. This went on for a while before I got a hand cramp.

A sharp pain ran from my wrists simultaneously and spread out to the tips of my fingers. I put down my pen. Stretching them seemed to do the trick. I got back to work. Who knows how much time was passing. I was half expecting Tseng to call me or pop in at any moment to tell me that we were about to leave.

There was a soft knock on my door.

My heart jumped. Was that Tseng? Or was that Rufus? Either way I quickly smoothed a hand over my hair and straightened my tie.

"Its not locked.." I called out while keeping my eyes firmly planted on paper work before me. It had not occurred to me that I had actually almost finished everything. See,I knew I was efficient.

The door opened, I looked up expecting one of my partners or ..well..him. Not Sara. I was not expecting Sara to be in my office. But there she was. Sara Lorcan stepped gingerly into the room and stayed near the door, a small smile played on her face.

"Hi, you seem disappointed. Were you expecting someone else?" she ran a hand through her hair that hung loosely around her.

"Wha? No.." I laugh. That was probably the most unconvincing laugh ever. It sounded like a drowning chicken or something.

"You sure?" her eyes left me and traveled around my office.

Yeah I'm sure there wasn't anything potentially fascinating about my average office space. Save for that kick ass blue plant that now decorated the other side of my desk thanks to a certain young President.

"I'm sure." I put my work down and swiveled my chair in her direction. Leaning forward on my desk I gave her my undivided attention. "So, how's it going?" I couldn't help but smile.

"Fine, enough..." she crossed her arms. She seemed like she wanted to add something to that sentence. I knew that feeling of not knowing what else to say even though you wanted to say something. Hell I felt that almost everyday.

"Oh really? Scarlet giving you a hard time?" I ask kindly with a small smile playing about my lips. If it were up to Sara she would probably lead the Weapons Development Department instead of that woman. But it wasn't up to Sara. Just like it wasn't up to me either. If it was, Scarlet would be in a strip club doing what she does best. Or so I heard from Reno and we all know how reliable he can be.

"No, of course not." I wouldn't expect Sara to insult her boss of course. Who would be crazy enough to do that. I knew the walls had ears and she did too, it was in our best interest to be pleasant about those that lead us. Actually, I didn't have much of a problem with being pleasant about my boss. Though Tseng had a boss too, he was pretty much the only person that talked to me and gave me orders directly and I obviously had no problem with him. Woo ,none at all. "I am going to go get lunch.." she checked her watch again as if to confirm that it in fact was time for her lunch break. "I was wondering if you wanted to join me."

I cast a glance at the remainder of my paperwork. "Sure!" I jumped up from my chair. Reno and Rude's papers would just have to wait until I got back. It was not as if I were slacking off, otherwise I would have turned Sara down. I was merely doing something I hadn't done in a while and that was eat. When was the last time I ate like I usually did? Normally my plate was piled with food wherever I went. Why? Because food is great and without food we'd all die. But with all morbidity aside, I just love food.

Oh wait.

Now I remember why I hadn't had a good filling meal in the past two days! I couldn't hardly bring myself to eat anything. Anxiety will do that to a person. What was I anxious about anyway? I mean..its not like Rufus was going to send a team of highly trained foot soldiers to my house to get rid of me or something around those lines. Nor had it been likely that Rufus was going to show up at my doorstep over the weekend and I would open the door in nothing but little shorts and a t-shirt with my hair all over my head in ridiculous slippers. That would be horrible.

"Elena?"

I blinked. Sara was peering at me, clearly perplexed, with a perfectly arched eyebrow raised. I giggled and waved it away. Sometimes my own internal monologues got the best of me, I had not realized I was standing there in the middle of my office and looking up at the ceiling as if I'd seen a dead bird hanging upside down off of it.

"Sorry about that. Let's go." I shrugged and ran a hand through my hair.

"Right. You don't mind if we go to a little Cafe a few miles from here do you? I don't feel like eating here today." she reached for the door but paused to get my answer first.

"Sure, we can." mentally I muttered to myself that it would be a great opportunity to avoid anyone who could potentially make me blurt out my little secret I was toting around. Was it even a secret? Could I tell anyone I wanted to? Then again probably not. I would have to ask Rufus that question when I saw him. Then again..maybe not. I barely have the balls to talk normally around him let alone ask him a question in a straight forward manner without forgetting what my name is. Throw in the fact that I kissed him the other night and well..

I shook the thought away and followed Sara out of my office, pulling the door closed behind me.

* * *

When we entered the cafe I remarked at the severe contrast in the place Chaminade had taken us almost a month ago. The place was well kept, clean, and had a modest feel to it. There were round tables situated throughout the quaint sized restaurant. A large menu board sat near the entrance with lunch specials written in cursive in chalk. The smell of different breads was the most prominent in the air. It mingled with the soft chatter of voices and laughter that bounced off of the light brown walls of the place. The majority of the people that were here were by themselves and nursing a cup of something, a sandwich, and maybe reading a newspaper or writing down something with a felt tip pen. Sara took my hand and led us through the tables to a perfect little spot in a corner near a window that faced the sidewalk.

"I never knew about this place here. Then again..hhaha well I hardly ever have time to explore the city y'know." I pulled my hand from hers and sat down in one of the two chairs at our table. I gazed out of the window where I could see the ShinRa building in the distance. It felt mildly peaceful to be away from that place for a little while. Not that I hated it or anything. I loved going to work.

"Mmm I know." Sara replied. I checked in her direction to see what she was up to. The woman was reading her menu silently, a small smile played on her lips.

"So what's good here?" I prompted her. The menu in front of me was a dark red color and bore a strange word on it that I had also seen outside of the restaurant. I'm assuming that it is the name of the place.

Sara peered at me over her menu briefly before looking at her menu again. " It depends. Are you a big eater or a little eater? I know girls your size usually seem to have bottomless stomachs." she laughed softly.

"That's so true." I nodded. She'd be surprised how much I could eat. Maybe I should show her. I opened my menu and scanned the choices. Before she had even decided on what she wanted, my mind was already made up for four different things. "I'm done."

"Almost, for me, you can call the waiter over if you wish." Sara sat her menu down and continued to read it. She put her hand over her mouth. She had very slender fingers, like myself, but unlike my fingers they were adorned with three or four rings and her nails were manicured and designed for an office setting.

While she decided I took it upon myself to call a waiter over. The nearest one was a man with raven black hair which was pulled into a short ponytail. He had warm green eyes and a young face. He couldn't be over nineteen. What was with the overly young restaurant staffers these days? Sure, who am I to call someone overly young, but at least I was twenty-one. Old enough to have a license to kill, eh?

"Ah, hello beautiful ladies." he had a strong accent to match his handsome features. I had never heard it before.

"Aww.." I blushed slightly at his flirting. It was sweet. Sara on the other hand looked at him blankly and raised an eyebrow. Okay so flirting didn't work on her. Did that make me one sad and gullible individual?

"What may I do for you two?" he grinned from ear to ear, whipping a pen from behind one of them and poising it over his tablet.

"Oh um.." I told him my choices. He did not seem phased by the surplus I had ordered, or at least he didn't say anything about it. I watched him secretly for a moment while Sara still silently deliberated over what she wanted. "nope.." I thought softly to myself.

"Hmm?" he looked over at me expectantly. I shrugged and waved it away.

Nope. He could never hold a candle to the men I worked with. Or..should I say..worked for. Just one in particular.

"Okay I'll have the grilled chicken wrap and a medium fruit salad." she closed her menu with an air of finality and handed it to him. He took it gracefully from her hand, bowed slightly, and walked away.

"Cute guy." I commented, expecting her to agree with me. It was just something that women seemed to do: make comments about guys they would never be interested in dating. Unless..well...they wore white all the time, had blond hair that was never out of place, and piercing blue eyes and owned the world.

"Eh..I guess so." Sara examined her nails with little interest in our waiter. I shrugged.

"I guess Reno is the only cute guy you want, huh?" I joked with her.

A waitress approached our table and set down our drinks without really making her presence known. Sara picked up her drink and sipped it but didn't respond to my banter for a moment until well after she'd sat her glass down.

"Reno?" she grabbed a wrapped straw off of the table and put it in her drink. "I've told you, I don't like guys."

"That you work with." I finished for her with a nod. "I know what you mean."

"Sure you do. Wasn't the guy you went out with one of the ShinRa employees? How was your date anyway?" she took another sip of her drink. I picked up one of the straws from the previously placed silverware as well and put it in my cup of lemonade. One would think after my last experience with this drink I would have avoided getting it to avoid memories. But I liked those memories.

I smiled to myself and took a sip of my favorite drink to order when I was eating out. "It was really nice."

"How so? Can I get details?" sat back in her chair and put her hands in her lap. I leaned forward and put my elbows on the table.

"Well.." I blushed. "...after we had a long nice eventful dinner..we..took a walk through a park of sorts. Then he well.." I giggled before I could stop myself and quickly stifled the sound with a gulp from my glass.

"...ahh." Sara nodded sagely. "I know what that giggle means. He kissed you. So does this mean that there will be a second date?" her eyes sparkled warmly. She's such a nice woman. Maybe we could be friends or something. Maybe I could confide in her and only her about my situation. She didn't seem like the kind of person that would tell her friends and colleagues about the Turk that went on a date with "some guy." Now if I told her who that guy was..then that's a whole new ballgame.

"I dunno...he didn't say. Kissing him was...nice though." I bit my lip and felt heat rise into my face.

"You are too cute when you're flustered." she reached across the table and lightly slapped the side of my face causing my cheeks to get redder.

"Oh, stop." looked away out of the window until I was sure my blush had faded.

The waiter came back with our lunches. He placed her dish and salad in front of her and then put the majority of the food in front of me. A chicken burger, a large serving of fries, a sub sandwich, and a nice assortment of fruit in a medium sized black bowl. Not bad at all. Not bad. To top it off I had an apple pie. I should have gotten ice cream too...aww well I can't have everything I want now can I?

"So do you like him?" Sara begun our previous discussion again. I sampled some of my seasoned fries before answering.

"I guess..." did I like Rufus Shinra? Of course..I mean..what's not to like? "Yeah..I'd say I like what I have seen of him. I don't know him too well though, he's the type that never answers questions in a straight forward manner." I nodded, remembering how he kept changing the subjects back to me every time except for a few.

"That seems nice." Sara nodded. She picked up her fork and stabbed an unsuspecting grape in her fruit salad. "This is so good." she closed her eyes for a moment, apparently savoring said grape's juices. Shit, maybe I should have gotten a fruit salad too. I did have fruit but mine didn't come with yogurt as the salad dressing.

"Mine rocks too." I started in on my chicken burger first.

We chatted about random things for a moment, none on the subject of my date. That's one of the things that I liked about Sara that I'd begun to notice: she would not linger on a subject if she knew it made me uncomfortable. She also came off as the kind of person that didn't like confrontation, conflict, or physical danger. I had noticed when we participated in weapons' training how she stood far away from us near the exit. In fact, she always stood near the exits. She'd done that in my office as well. It struck me as funny that she created dangerous weapons of destruction but didn't particularly like being around them when they were in use.

"Hey, Sara?" I swallowed the rest of my burger. She looked up at me and put her fork down.

"Hmm?"

"Do you like the weapons you make?" I picked up a handful of fries and bit them in half at the same time.

"What do you mean?" she asked, picking up a napkin and dabbing her lips with them even though there was nothing on them.

"I dunno, I just noticed that you don't seem to actively participate in the usage of the weapons you help create." I shrugged.

"Oh..yes..great observation." she smiled softly. "I love to make things. Weapons just happens to be what I make. I know my way around machinery and metal I guess you could say. I don't see them as merely tools of pain, sorrow, and suffering or of revenge. I see them as tools of peace and power too." she looked out of the window. "But yes..I do love to see my creations used—my favorite is that ivy blade that I let you use-- but I am weary of being near those who wield them when they are in use." she looked back at me a little apologetically. "Honestly, this is a little sad, but I don't use the weapons I make. The only thing I can really use is a gun and I'm fine with a sword but nothing amazing. I wouldn't last a second in a fight against Sephiroth or someone-"

"You and me either." I scoffed warmly. "Anyone for that matter." Save for Cloud Strife that is.

"Yeah I know right. Anyway..yeah its sad but I don't use weapons. I just make them."

That was kinda weird but not sad. She was an inventor not a fighter..nothing wrong with that. Kinda..sorta.

"Nothing wrong with that Sara. You're an inventor not a fighter. Besides if it wasn't for you we wouldn't have such kick-ass weaponry." I grinned and ate something else. "But honestly.." I giggled. " When someone first looks at you they wouldn't probably believe that you were part of the Weapons Department. Then..again...they probably wouldn't believe that about your boss either."

"Good point."

We were silent for a moment. Sara gazed out of the window with a thoughtful frown on her face. Sometimes she would move her necklace around from side to side or mindlessly move around one of her other pieces of jewelry. I looked away from her and busied myself with finishing off all this food I had in front of me. Though we were silent the busy chatter around us still went on. It didn't get annoying, it just signified the beginning of a lot of other people's lunch hour. The majority of course all worked for ShinRa.

I worked for Rufus Shinra too. Gah and here I was thinking I had successfully stopped thinking about him for the time being. I can't help but wonder what he's doing right now. Does he take lunch breaks? If I recall correctly, he told me that he sometimes forgets to do unimportant things. I just hope he was exaggerating..he probably was. My thoughts found their way around the other night once again. I couldn't help but wonder what he did after he got home. Did he lean against the doors of his house and cover his mouth in shock? No I highly doubt that he did but I know I did. I stayed against that door for quite some time before I remembered what my name was. More importantly, who was that calling him and ruining our moment? He never told me who it was he just seemed a little miffed that he had gotten interrupted. I would have asked him who was calling but I was too aware of myself to even talk or look at him. How many people could honestly say that they'd been kissed by and kissed Rufus Shinra? Probably a very narrow number. Personally, I would like to believe that I was the only person that he'd ever kissed. Wishful thinking on my part perhaps. Yes, I'm a selfish person. Sure I have no claim on him whatsoever but that didn't mean I wouldn't have the slight urge to be territorial. But I'm sure from the way he kissed me that he'd had to have had some practice somewhere in the past. Was it a little wrong that I wanted to find said girl or girls and choke the living-

"What's on your mind?" Sara's voice broke my increasingly violent reverie.

"What? Oh..nothing really. Just thinking about the other night." I shrugged and finished off the rest of my apple pie. "...I'm a bit sprung I guess." I laughed softly and shrugged.

Sara nodded and said something, thoughtfully, under her breath. She checked the thin silver watch that adorned her wrist—which had thought was a bracelet at first-- and then looked over at employee that was cleaning the counter top.

" Scarlet wants me to bring her a salad back..." she took another sip of her drink. "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure, we can. If you are then I am." I shrugged.

"Alright, let me get her a salad first." she stood up and put several gil on the table as a tip.

On our way back to headquarters we talked about things off the top of our head. Mainly myself. We could have walked in silence but there was just something in me that really liked to talk. Silence was a waste of time. Why be silent when you could talk about something?There was _always_something to talk about. So I talk. She doesn't seem to mind, in fact she seems very interested in all that I have to say. By the time we made it back to the ShinRa building I had told her all about my favorite animal and why it was my favorite. When we got inside of the building the two of us went our separate ways and I found myself wandering the hallways on one of the upper floors.

There wasn't many people around right now, though usually everyone was busy in an office anyway, but the lack was more noticeable this time. It makes me wonder how often I've actually ventured out of my office during the lunch break. Usually I would merely run down to the cafeteria area of sorts and grab something sustaining and go back to my office to do some sort of work. There was always something to be done.

"Like the rest of Reno and Rude's documents.." I mutter to myself.

I took a left turn down a hall way and stopped short. _Rufus Shinra_. He was down this hall. In fact he was in the middle of a conversation with some other employee that I couldn't careless to recognize at the moment even though I knew he was somewhat important. Regardless sit did not matter. This was about Rufus being in the same place at the same time as I was. Should I wait and then say something or should I just walk past and act as if I don't see him?

My heart starts beating a little faster than it had been a few minutes ago. My palms were beginning to sweat and a rush of scenarios flashed through my mind. How should I walk past? What if he expects me to say something to him? Should I say hello or would that be unexpected and would that rouse suspicion in the other guy's mind? Bah!

_What is my problem? Its just..Rufus Shinra...my boss..who I happened to...kiss..yeah this isn't helping my anxiety._

Closing my eyes I took one sharp, deep breath and mapped out my plan before leaving my refuge behind the corner that I was currently peering around. I would walk past him and the employee guy without uttering a word. Why Because, typically Rufus Shinra would never talk to me under normal circumstances. Anyway, while passing by him I will not look at him but seem preoccupied in my own little world as I would usually be. Hopefully, he will continue to converse with guy-that-I-know-I-know and all will be fine. If not and he happens to look in my direction then said plan will probably be shot to hell. _Let's be positive here, Elena._

They say you are supposed to dive right into something like acting or..well..walking down a hallway in which your make out buddy/boss happens to be located. That approach, I know, is the only way I'm getting from behind this wall and not taking a Rufusless route to my destination.

_Lets do this, girl._

I take a step forward, hesitate, and then literally push myself from behind the wall.

See I can be brave! I'm just making a big deal out of nothing. I know that the anxiety will only worsen if I continue to hesitate.

I walked. My eyes stayed focused on what was ahead of me. Out of my peripheral vision I could see that I was nearing Rufus and 'guy-I-swear-is-familiar'.

"...if we could only find a way to fix that, President Rufus..." the guy-that-I-swear-is-familiar was saying. His back was turned to me but I was sure he had something of a goatee of sorts.

Rufus' eye caught mine before I could look away. When those cold blue eyes met mine an oddly familiar chill went down my spine. I stopped momentarily before realizing that I wasn't moving anymore. His eyes followed me though he seemed inclined to whatever the guy was talking about. A small devilish smirk played on his lips. I feel the heat rising in my face as my own eyes forget how to blink. I stood there even after his conversation with Reeve was drawing to a close. He broke eye contact with me.

"...look into that, then." he said to guy-I-now-recognize. Reeve, the head of Urban Development, nodded and made his leave. I said a very small hello to him and watched him leave me alone in the hallway with Rufus. Then I turned my attention to _him._

"Hi..." I smile slightly and find myself putting my arms behind my back.

"Hello, Elena." Rufus merely said before leaving me as well.

I open my mouth to say something else. I'm not sure as to what but something. Rufus continued to walk away from me. I bit my bottom lip, shoved my hands into my pockets, and watched him disappear into an elevator. I wanted to be a little disappointed but then I reminded myself once again that this kind of distance is appropriate. But I still didn't like being practically ignored by him.

* * *

_I had other things to think about than being practically ignored by him. I mean what did I expect, for him to break all kinds of protocol and reinvent our kiss right in the hallway in front of Reeve? Bah, pay attention to something else Elena. There has got to be something else you can waste brain power on. Ooh what's Rude's doing? He's always..interesting._

Rude sat back and adjusted his sunglasses. The epitome of calm, he was. Unlike myself. I want to say something across the table at him but he will probably prefer that I not annoy him. I glance at the clock. Where _is _Tseng? He's the one that called us into this room but he's not present yet. I stare at the table but a creaking noise catches my ear. Reno. The man—or should I say boy-- has his chair leaning back on two legs with his goggles over his eyes and his arms crossed. I wonder what'll happen if I startle him, will he fall onto his head or what? Lets find out.

"Reno!" I slammed my hand hard on the table in his direction. Rude, who was in front of me, looked at Reno to my left.

"Try again, sister." Reno muttered and stuck up a slender middle finger. Rude coughed as if to prevent himself from laughing.

Sheepishly, I grin in Rude's direction. I wish I could see his eyes but I still haven't convinced him to take off those sunglasses and let me see his face. Reno told me once that it is impossible. I am going to take a stab at it anyway.

"Hey, Rude?" I lean forward and smile brightly.

"Hmm?" with Rude that was equivalent to asking me what is it that I want.

"Under what circumstances would you take off your sunglasses?" a larger smile threatened to grace my face. "If Reno crushes them during a battle? If they get scratched? Mysteriously stolen? If a bird craps on them?"

"He's got several backups, Elena." Reno scoffs.

Why am I not surprised.

"That's supercool. Are they on you right now?" I just know my eyes are sparkling with interest.

"Good. You're all here."

Tseng's voice grabbed my attention. There he was, closing the door behind him and holding a file. He put the file down on the table and looked at all of us with those chocolate brown eyes. I smiled at him and then looked up at the clock again.

" Hi, Tseng, sir."

" Hi, Elena." he looked briefly in my direction before opening the file he had brought with him. He scanned it for a moment and then shut it. "The preparations are final. We're going on an assignment of sorts."

"Yes." Reno cracked his knuckles beside me. His sound of celebration did not sound as cheerful as mine (or a little grunt of acknowledgment like Rude's) it sounded more like a malicious little chuckle. I cast a weary glance in his direction and it proved my suspicion. The red head, in fact, had bit of a gleam in his blue eyes. "So we've caught up with those sons of bitches, huh?"

"Yes, Reno. But.." Tseng flipped through the file again. "That's not the only reason why we are going. Scarlet will be joining us."

I groaned inwardly. Rude shifted in his seat. Reno rolled his eyes and made a tsking sound. Tseng didn't say anything but the expression on his face tells me that he probably slightly shared the same sentiment. I don't hate that woman or anything, I just didn't want her coming along with us. I was already anxious enough and her laughter would definitely send me over the edge. I wonder if they'd mind me throwing her off of the helicopter?

"So where are we going?" I smiled up at Tseng's blank face.

"Gongaga."

* * *

-

* * *

_**A/N: I was surprised at how little time it took for me to write this chapter (I completed it two days ago) though this is my longest chapter to date. I was unsure as to whether I wanted to update it at this moment or wait because I know some people haven't had the time to read the previous chapter. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and believe me when I say I will be updating very soon once again. In fact I've already started the new chapter. With that said, I want to ask something of you. I know there are some readers that have not read or reviewed the previous chapter. I want to ask of you that you review this chapter and the previous chapter**_ separately.


	11. Later

* * *

**Chapter 11**

**_Later_**

* * *

"Land, finally!" My voice was caught and whipped away by the loud drumming of the spinning helicopter's propellers. I jumped down and landed, with my legs apart for balance, to the ground. The brownish green blades of grass whipped around violently until it was given the appearance of ocean waves. My hair whipped wildly in my face as I ran a few feet from the helicopter behind Rude. Reno, who had been piloting, jumped out of the cockpit. I could see Tseng taking his place at the controls beside Scarlet.

The helicopter flew back into the air smoothly. Eventually, the sound of the blades became distant.

"Alright, action!" was the first thing Reno said. He cracked his knuckles and neck neck with a popping sound. I'm sure he had been all over the village that we were on the outskirts of. His blue eyes held a gleam in them and narrowed. He looked around. "We are going a few miles east, quickly. We want them to be surprised." with that, Reno whipped out his EMR, before I could even blink, and spun it around. He was scary when he got like that.

"Bitter, much?" Rude muttered to his partner and adjusted his sunglasses. I giggled softly.

"Fuck you Rude. Fuck you." Reno rolled his eyes and swung his EMR at his partner. Rude ducked. He seemed pleased with his sly stab at Reno.

"Let's go guys!" They could be coming any second now." I reminded them. I turn on my heel and walk ahead of the men down a beaten path.

There are two things that are obvious: Reno is really ready to settle the score with Cloud and his crew. And I am very excited. This assignment was the energy booster that kept me from being too worried about Rufus right now. I checked over my shoulder to ensure that Reno and Rude were following me. Rude was. Where was Reno?

" In front of you." Rude must have read my mind.

Reno, in fact, had found his way to the front of the pack without me even noticing. Damn. Now I am safely in the middle again with Reno in front and Rude bringing up the rear.

"You guys did that on purpose!" I shouted accusingly at Reno's back.

"Get over it, Laney. And shut up,yo, what if you give us away?" that little red head dismissed my complaint.

"Mean." I grumbled, crossing my arms.

The rest of our twenty minute hike was filled with the sound of a few rustling leaves every now and then. Sighing I bite my lip to refrain from saying something to fill the stealthy silence. I looked up through the canopy of trees. The sky was bluer and brighter here in Gongaga. It was a rare day indeed for Midgar to have even a sky that proved it was daylight. Migdar's sky would only lighten a few shades but never to a normal daylight hue full of fluffy clouds. One of those rare days was last month.

My thoughts were cut short by an abrupt connection with a solid object: Reno's back. Stumbling backward I brace myself for the connection with the ground I know is about to come. Wincing, I know that any second now I'm going to fall on my ass and make an idiot of myself.

Oh no the pain the pain..its gonna hurt..there are rocks on this ground.

Er..? Why haven't I hit the ground?

Rude caught me. His hands were wrapped around my elbows firmly, causing me to fall into him instead onto the ground.

"Thank you, Rude!" I let him steady me before I turned around with every intention of hugging him. He caught my outstretched arms and put them down at my sides silently. I grinned sheepishly, I could feel the warmth of embarrassment creeping onto my face.

"You're welcome." Rude let my wrists go.

A smile spread across my features."You're sooo sweet, Rude, you know that?"

Rude shifted slightly and adjusted his glasses. He coughed and looked away from me. Patting him on the shoulder I nodded. I know he doesn't like to talk and is uncomfortable in certain situations but I just couldn't help myself. I just had to thank him. If Reno would have been behind me he might have let me fall just to make a point. I shrugged and let him be. Besides, we have more important things to do right now then discuss how I want to demand a hug from him.

"You done?" Reno called my attention as well as Rude's. Turning around I saw that he was watching us with a peculiar expression. His eyebrows raised and was almost in danger of disappearing into his hair. What was that about?

"Yeah.." a small smile tugged at my lips.

"Yes." Rude agreed.

"Great." Reno stepped out of my line of vision.

Before us was a split in our path. We could either go to the left or to the right. I looked at Reno again for instruction.

"More than likely this is the way they're coming." Reno unconsciously ran a hand over his EMR that was hanging off his slender hips.

"They" meant the people we were supposed to be keeping watch from. We knew from a very reliable source (does it count if I don't even know who or what the source is..?) that Cloud and his party were coming here and should be arriving today. I have to admit, I am even more excited than I had been at Headquarters. I'd met them once before , however briefly, but maybe this time instead of running off we'd get to kick someone's ass. I haven't gotten to fight with them yet so I'm freaking ecstatic.

"Hey, Elena." Reno was leaning against a tree with his foot propped against it. He was watching me shrewdly. "How would you like to be lookout?"

"I'd love to!"

His blue eyes rolled to the back of his head until he looked possessed. "Never mind. Rude you wanna do it?"

I turned around to Rude and put my hands on my hips. Drat. I should have hidden my excitement a little more. I knew Reno would do that if I acted like a kid in a candy store. Was it my fault that I was deprived of action and wanted some? How hard could being a lookout be? All I wanted to do was prove a little useful and try not to need any help.

"Let her do it." Rude shrugged.

"Now she's all sparkle eyed and ready to kiss you Rude. I'd run if I were you." Reno got off the tree. "Alright, Elena. Go ahead of us, we'll be right here." he ran a hand through my hair. "You have your PHS and all that to tell us when they come, right?"

I nodded and tried to stop from smiling at Rude. He did seem ready to run from me now.

"I've gotten everything under control." I said while I mentally reassured myself that I, in fact, had everything I would need for this assignment. I had my weapon, my PHS, and my wits. Okay maybe not a lot of the last one.

"Let's hope so." Reno didn't seem very sure of that. I thought of reassuring him but decided against it. Reno wasn't getting reassured and I knew it. What did he think I was going to do? Burn down the entire village? I mean, hell. I'm not _that_ incompetent or crazy.

"I'll go on ahead." I saluted them in a way that was more in a joking manner and less about respecting their rank.

"Don't stand out in the open either." Reno called after me. Did he really think I was going to do that? Heheh...yeah..it did cross my mind.

I left the men behind and continued cautiously, yet quickly, down the dirt path. I kept one hand firmly on the butt of my gun and the other swung loosely at my side. I paused when I reached the end of the path here, there was a slight incline that led into an expanse of field. I am not sure how they are arriving but I'm sure it'll be through here. Biting my bottom lip, I raise my eyes to the horizon. They sky, though it had a slight red scar, was pretty out here. I tore my eyes from the heavens and checked out the greenery around me. I needed a good place to hide that would provide me with a good view of them but make me completely invisible.

"Hmm..." I tapped my chin. _The trees and grass to the left was a bit thin. Right it is then._ I walked through the dirt and twigs and tried not to snap or crush anything to avoid making any noise. I stopped, knee deep in grass and dug my toe into the ground. It was soft enough, I guess. I took my PHS from my pocket and lay down on my stomach. The grass provided me with a somewhat soft cushion from that hard ground. From here I knew I was fully hidden by the vegetation and I could see anyone passing by on the path.

_Good job, Elena!_

Hey if no one else was going to give me a pat on the back, I had to do the honors. After sitting out here by myself, though, I realized something: that sitting out here was a bit lonely. But..I had to look on the bright side. At least there weren't any bugs and crap out here.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, a sharp pain went through my neck. Bah! I spoke too soon! I let out an irritated growl and slapped my neck hard. Rolling my eyes I checked my hand to see if that mosquito had rejoined the Lifestream. Yes! I smiled to myself with satisfaction at the crumpled black body laying in blood in the palm of my hand. I rubbed my palm against the grass until it was cleaned off. Hopefully, its friends will take the example and back up off me. Maybe I should have brought bug spray.

The bugs didn't stop buzzing in my ear, climbing up my pants and down my shirt to molest me, sucking my blood, or almost causing me to go blind. Eventually, though, they just merely became part of my own background between bug-molesting intervals and I became lost in my own thoughts.

_I wonder what Rufus is doing right now in his comfortable office while one of his worker ants suffers for, essentially, him and his company?_

Was he thinking about me? Worried about me? Probably not. Why should he be?

I sighed and rolled over onto my back and gazed through the canopy of trees. The sunlight streamed through the leaves and created little stars in my eyes. Closing them was the better option. At least I wouldn't be blinded before Cloud and company went by.

_He could have at _least _paused and held a conversation.._

He _could_ have but this was probably all for secrecy or something. Maybe he was aching for more interaction with me, other than just saying hello, but he knew that it would have been out of the ordinary. Wishful thinking on my part? I hope not. I don't really know what I want to come out of that but I do know that I don't want it to end. Is that so sad of me? Rufus' almost complete disregard of me earlier actually makes me even more eager for a bit more contact. It was just like with Tseng. I wanted both of them to pay so much attention to me. I know its a bit wrong and kinda sad to like two guys at once especially when they're totally unavailable. Then Tseng, though he can be polite to me on occasion, has never _kissed_ me or expressed any kind of interest in me before. Rufus, on the other hand, started paying me all sorts of attention, took me out on a date, and –I reiterate-- kissed me. Bah..who am I to have a buffet of emotionally unavailable men who just so happen to be of higher ranks than myself. Hell, one of them is my boss! The two could never really want me of all people and besides it was unprofessional.

"...so says the girl that shoved her tongue down President Rufus' throat, willingly." I rolled my eyes and ran my hands through grass. The little blades ran across my fingers and palm like a dull knife. I bet it would be so neat out here with a lover or something..

_Crack._

I put my thoughts on hold and halted my breathing. Clutching my PHS in hand I heard yet another twig break under pressure. I strained my hearing and caught the sound of voices getting closer. The first thing I heard was a chipper young girl.

"...I'm hungry. You think they have food?"

There were several footfalls. This must be a group of more than one or two. It was a moment before someone answered.

"They might, but let's not take their food, Yuffie. Gongaga Village isn't as it used to be when it had a reactor." a more mature young woman's voice replied.

From what I could remember from the brief background, this place _had_ a reactor, which is where Scarlet and Tseng had went. What did they mean by "had?" Shoot..its sad that I work on the inside and don't know half of Shinra's goings on.

A softer, irritatingly docile voice took me from my thoughts again.

"You ate only an hour ago, sweetie." she laughed softly.

"Girl's gotta eat." a gruff man's voice held a joking tone.

Hmm. Maybe I should follow them? I saw them—their legs at least—cross my vision. Their voices grew faint as they continued down the path. I stuffed my PHS back into my pockets and scrambled from my hiding spot. Maybe the positions I'd chosen were a bad idea. My back was going to give me hell tonight. I picked up my walking and speed until it became a jog.

"...and then there's a type of rice.." the girl, who I'm sure was Yuffie, was still talking.

I paused to allow a little more distance between us and then took another well placed step. _Crack!_

Or not_._

I threw myself behind a tree and held my breath. Maybe none of them heard that.

"...you guys hear that?" Yuffie asked.

" Couldn't hear anything over you talking." one of the other girls answered.

"...maybe it was my imagination." Yuffie went right back to rambling on about her favorite types of food. Wow she talks so much..she reminds me of someone..hmm..who though? Who..? Hmm..aww well it doesn't matter. I need to keep up!

Stepping from behind the tree I followed behind them at what I believed was a safe pace. I eyed the group from behind. There are seven people in all. Well five people, a weird cait sith thing, and a red dog.. Three were girls, one wore a pink dress and had a brown ponytail, one wore an outfit that had no business being in the forest and had long black hair, the one that was doing all the talking was clearly the youngest and had her hair cut in a short dark style. The other two humans were men, one muscular with a gun on his arm, one with blond hair. Then there were the two weird looking party members: a big odd pink Mog of sorts with a black abnormal cat on it's head, and a red dog that I could have sworn was talking.

The group stopped abruptly and I stopped too and slunk behind a tree across from them. The blond guy, who's hair reminded me distinctly of a Chocobo, held a finger to his lips and told the rest of the party to shut up and stand still. Yuffie settled on the ground beside the weird cat thing and the dog. Barret leaned against a tree that was too close for comfort, The older girls found a spot on a tree directly across from me. Was it just me or was I a little bit too visible?

I inched around the base of my tree to find a spot behind it that was out of the girl's line of vision.

_Crack._

Oh crap.

"Is someone there?" the blond guy said. I was sure that he was referring to the twig I'd just broken but then voices caught my ear. I strained my ears to hear what he was hearing too. It didn't take long for me to recognize the speakers as Reno and Rude.

"..hey Rude? Who do you like?" Reno asked.

Rude apparently was silent. I could practically imagine him shyly looking away and turning his back on the red head. I was probably right.

" What are you getting embarrassed about? Come on, who do you like?" Reno pressed on.

Wow, what kind of conversation have these two been having since I've been gone?

"...Tifa."

Whoa, what? I felt my mouth fall open. One of the girls on the other side of the path coughed silently. I glanced over at the dark haired girl and noted her mini-skirt and rather endowed chest. Tifa, huh? Wow,Rude..

"Hmm.." Reno made a slightly shocked noise. It was rare to hear him surprised. "That's a tough one." he muttered. I wish I could see his face right now. "But poor Elena..she..you..."

What about me? I leaned forward without making any noise. He thought that...? I mean Rude's very good looking and all but..

"No." Rude said flatly. "She likes Tseng."

Heat rose in my face. How did he know that?! Was I really that obvious? I wonder if this meant that he also knew I like Rufus too.

"I knew that!" Reno scoffed.

_Poor..obvious..me..._

"..but Tseng likes that Ancient..." he continued.

I frowned ever so slightly. Bah..

"What are they talking about?"

The blond at the middle of the path had finally spoken. He put his hand to his mouth, it seemed, and muttered thoughtfully.

_Maybe I should tell him. He'd probably think its interesting. Besides..I want to clear my name from those two. Its not wrong telling a complete stranger something.._

Walking froward, and ignoring the others, I came up silently behind him.

"Its so stupid!" I rolled my eyes and earnestly smiled at him.

The guy turned around and jumped in confused surprise. What was so surprising to him?

"They always talk about who they like or don't like but Tseng's different." I explained. Tseng definitely was different. He didn't talk about casual and juvenile things..

_Wait..a moment.._

This guy, and his party actually, was oddly familiar. His eyes were a weird blue color...his hair..that look on his face...hmm.

_Gah! _

"Ah! Oh no!" I jumped back. He jumped back too. This was definitely Cloud Strife and his party! Shit shit shit why didn't I recognize them at first?! Oh...that's right..I was too busy thinking about my personal life! I ran around Cloud towards my partners. "They're here! They're really here!" I yelled at them while waving my arms wildly. Anything to get their attention.

I skidded to a halt before them. Rude raised an eyebrow while Reno's eyes narrowed. He looked over my shoulder at them. I waited for instruction.

"...hmm...then its time." Reno turned his attention to Rude for a moment. They nodded to each other. "Rude, don't go easy on them even though they're girls."

Hey! What is that supposed to mean? Wait, Elena, focus!

"Don't worry.." Rude adjusted his sunglasses. "I'll do my job."

Did they forget I was here or something?

"Then, we're counting on you! I'll report to Tseng!" with that I turned on my heel and ran off in the opposite direction.

I continued down the path and the sound of fighting became distant. I wish I could have stayed behind and helped out or at least watched but that's not what I was assigned to do. Well..actually..I'd assigned it for myself. I sighed and kicked a pebble. Watching it fly I realized something: I've never really gotten to fight them. Like ever. What's up with that? Did they still think I wasn't ready for that kind of combat?

"Oh come on...I've kicked asses before. Its not hard.." I rolled my eyes to the sky. Swinging my leg backward I aimed for a small boulder in my way. "...maybe that wasn't a good idea!" pain slid through my left leg but I ignored it and kept on walking. My mind went back to what Rufus had said the other night. He was right about what he'd said: undirected anger is useless. Bah. There I go again, thinking about him. I wonder what he'd say if he knew I'd almost temporarily crippled myself by kicking a boulder. He probably wouldn't be surprised. He could probably deduce from my antics that most of my wounds were self inflicted and accidental.

Where was Tseng anyway?

I looked around. Hadn't I passed by those same trees a few minutes ago? And this same boulder? Where was I? Please don't tell me that I'm lost! I refused to admit to being lost. That wouldn't look good at all. I could call Tseng on my PHS and ask him to lead me to wherever he and Scarlet had flown or I could find them myself and not seem like a child that needed her hand held every time. I could do this by myself. How hard could it be to find one man? I mean..really. I would just continue walking until I heard their voices, saw the chopper, or ran into them. So after much deliberation I decided to continue my limping search for Tseng and perhaps, Scarlet.

When did it get so... _hot? _

Little beads of sweat was beginning to form on my forehead and my shirt and pants was beginning to stick to my skin. The balls of my feet were hurting and my mouth was dry with thirst. Once again I pulled my shirt away from my body and moved it around until it generated air. Only temporary relief. It instantly stuck to my skin like a glove as soon as I let it go. Bah! I ran a hand through my hair. Where were they? I knew I wasn't walking in circles anymore that's for sure, now I was just lost. I am so lost that I don't even know how lost I am. I can't take this anymore, I'm shedding some clothes!

I pulled off my suit jacket and tied it around my waist. My poor white blouse was matted to my body like a second skin, I am grateful I wore a white bra today so at least I won't flash Tseng, Reno, or Rude with my underwear.

After another ten minutes of this I decided it was time to ask for some directions. If I wasn't walking in circles I was walking in areas that yielded nothing but grass and bugs. I now had several whelps on my neck, cheeks, and hand from getting those little blood sucking bastards away from my sweaty skin. I tucked my hair behind my ears and took a glance at the sky. The sun's position had changed. How long had I been out here? I wonder. Sliding my hand into my pockets I made a startling discovery: my PHS was gone.

"Oh nooooooooooo don't tell me I lost it!" I was ready to slam my head against a tree or throw a temper tantrum. I hear its very therapeutic in times like this. I would have to retrace my steps and find it now, won't I? The bad thing was..I don't even know where my steps are! I'm so lost that I can't retrace them even if I wanted to. Tseng would not be happy that I lost that thing. This wasn't going to improve my image as a rookie. I would be known as: The-Rookie-That-Lost-The-Communication Device-After-Failing-At-A-Simple-Task. I don't know if that was better or worse than my previous title.

Sitting down to the left of the path on a rock, I put my head between my knees and waited. If I stayed in one spot maybe they would find me. I'm sure they were wondering where I was, right? I wonder what Rufus would say if they returned without me and I was reported as 'missing'. Would he be concerned? Probably not. Why should he be? He's not my husband or lover or something and he doesn't like..._care about me_ or something. He'd probably just tell them to write up a report and send a small search party to find me, the idiot. In the back of his mind he'd probably wonder why did he go out with a moron that couldn't even find her way on a marked path back to her colleagues. How sad is that?

A few moments passed before the sound of gravel moving met my ears. I looked up wearily expecting to see Reno and Rude or Tseng. I was right...just not as right as I thought I would be. Rude was walking towards me by himself. Reno was no where around. He didn't die or something did he? Haa..who am I kidding? I think he lives just to piss people off.

"Rude? You're not a mirage are you?" I brushed sweat from my forehead and stared at him. Black suit, sunglasses..yeah probably not a mirage.

"No." a small, almost invisible, smile crossed his features. Despite my current situation, I added that to my mental tally of 'times I've made Rude smile'.

"They sent you to come get me didn't they? I'm so sorry! I was lost." I stood up from my place on a tree stump. I wobbled slightly before righting myself.

"Its alright." he crossed his arms and watched me silently.

"Did you and Reno win? Against Cloud and them?" I untied my suit jacket and put it back on.

Rude shook his head. "No, not at all."

"Oh that sucks..maybe if I'd gotten to help, huh?" I walked over to him and nudged him with my elbow. "See you guys needed me."

"Maybe we did." he turned away from me and started in the direction he came. I sprinted after him to keep up and soon was walking in stride with him.

How far from the others were we anyway? We couldn't have been far if they had Rude walk to find me. I don't know what I will do to myself if I find out that I was a mere mile or two away from them and had been walking in retarded circles for hours. That kind of crap would make someone choke a Chocobo or something...

As it turns out, I was right to some degree. Too bad there was no Chocobo around. The chopper was sitting in a clearing, I'd heard its propellers before I'd seen it. Reno was no where to be seen so I am guessing he was inside. Tseng was leaning against the helicopter and Scarlet was looking out of the window from the inside. I didn't have to be close enough to him to know that he was probably not pleased with the fact that they had to send someone to find me. I stared down at the ground. As we got closer to the helicopter, its wind did a small part in cooling me off but I didn't' really care. I just didn't want to get lectured by Tseng right now.

"I'm sorry sir.." I mumbled when we reached the helicopter.

To my relief he didn't say anything. He merely thanked Rude for finding me. Rude, as usual, didn't say anything but I could see him nod out of the corner of my eye. I sighed and bit my lip. If I was a crying type of person I would burst into a bit of tears or something right now. I didn't feel teary, just hot, dirty, and incompetent. And hungry.

Rude's hand bumped against mine before I reached up to climb into the helicopter. I looked at his hand. There was a black device in it. I looked up at him, he nodded. He'd found my PHS. It was probably on the path when he came looking for me. I could just hug him right now. But I refrained and merely smiled rather brightly while discreetly taking it from him.

Once all of us was back into the helicopter (Scarlet took it upon herself to rub in the fact that I was lost and it accompanied her annoying laugh) we lifted off into the air. Reno was doing the driving up front and he was virtually silent minus a few expletives here and there. I can only assume these came from his irritation at loosing to them again. Tseng was in the cockpit, thank Shiva, with Reno. Scarlet was somewhere, where I couldn't careless. I was sitting near the back with Rude.

I didn't realize how tired I was. I felt drained and ,not to mention, discouraged. The cool glass provided me with relief to my hot skin as I pressed my forehead against it. A soft sigh escaped me and fogged up the window. I really needed a nap or something.

"Tired?"Rude asked quietly. It took me a moment to realize he was talking to me. It was rare for him to address me, usually it was me that started conversations.

"Mmhmm." I nodded and closed my eyes. Even that made me tired. "a little. Not really though..I just got all lost and stuff. I'm really sorry you had to like come get me and stuff..and then I lost my PHS..." I banged my head against the glass and growled. "...gah, so frustrating...I just feel a little useless right now is all."

I fell silent, not expecting Rude to say anything in response of my childish pouting. Okay, yeah, I messed up a little-lot- that doesn't mean I have to bitch about it. I don't like feeling bad, its no fun being mopey, but I couldn't shake it right now. I just couldn't be all happy when I couldn't find a reason to be. I'm not the one to fake a smile or a laugh. Well, not often. Sometimes, I just find it easier to pretend to be happy to avoid the whole "What's wrong?" and "Are you okay?" looks. I guess I would just have to wait until next mission to prove a little more competent.

"Anyone could have gotten lost..."

I lifted my head from the window and looked over my shoulder at Rude. He was sitting back in the standard issue black helicopter seats and looking at me from under his glasses. I raised an eyebrow and grinned in spite of my mood.

"So you're the one!" I pointed at him accusingly, my smile getting bigger.

Rude's eyebrows pointed down in confusion. "What?"

"You stole my sunshine!" I reached over and slapped my palm against his knee a few times. I bet he was trying to figure out if he should request that I get psychoanalysis or if he should play along.

He must have decided on the latter.

"Right." he shifted away from me slightly.

I removed my hand and giggled to myself. And Reno thought that we secretly wanted each other or something? Crazy sonova...

"Thanks, Rude." I smiled brightly in his direction before leaving him to his silence that he loved ever so much. Instead, for the next hour or so, I watched the clouds go by.

* * *

Everyone went their separate ways when we landed. Tseng went to attend "important business." Scarlet went to report her findings, or lack thereof, in the Weapons Department. Reno went to "release internal frustrations" and train along with Rude. I, on the other hand, was left alone and without a goal. Now what could I do now with all this time? Whatever it was I wanted to be useful for the company. They didn't need me lofting around lazily and using up valuable work hours. Or, at least that's what Tseng would say. So I continued up a random corridor that I am sure would lead me to my office where I could write up a report and finish Reno and Rude's work.

"Maybe when I'm done I can work on my sense of direction." I rolled my eyes at the ceiling. If "_get lost" _was my mission this afternoon I would have done perfectly. Bah, there is not one time that I haven't made mistakes is there? During each and every mission so far.

"I should stop channeling negative energies from thingies."I mutter to myself. Shaking the thoughts from my head I continued down the hall.

A blue lady in a skirt caught my eye. Man, I really needed to pee! Why hadn't I realized that?!

I pushed the bathroom door open and strolled into it. The bathrooms here at Shinra were all clinically-almost asylum-like- silver and white. The floor was the only balance, being black tile. The stalls, sinks, toilet, and mirror linings were all cold silver steel. The walls were white. No paintings. No odd instructional posters about feminine care and hygiene. No flowers. Nothing but what was necessary.

"Come in. Pee. Washing your hands. Get back to work." I observed, looking around and pursing my lips. "I should tell Rufus to get some flowers in here. He seems to listen to my flower choices." I paused at a steel dispenser.

At least they have tampons and pads in here. Not completely genderless at least.

I went into the first tall by the door. Unzipping my pants I stopped in mid-strip. Someone else had entered the bathroom. Rapid heels strolled across the tile. I peered through the crack between the door. Black tight slacks and a dark green tank top. A braided dark ponytail fell down her back. Checking the reflection, my suspicions were confirmed: Chaminade Daisy. Rufus' secretary. I hadn't seen her in a while. I watched her undo her hair and dig into her purse for something. I bit my lip, forgetting that I had to pee for a moment. Watching unsuspecting people was much funner. People always seemed to do some odd things when they thought no one was watching.

Holding my breath, I watched her pull a brush from her purse. I thought she was going to begin doing something mundane, like brushing her hair, but instead she continued pulling things from her purse. A matching comb, three different shades of lipstick, a compact, make-up brush, powder, mirror, five mascara tubes..

Got damn! All that make up?! She must be some kind of ugly to have all of that makeup. Hell, I don't even wear lip-gloss unless it's necessary. If she's gonna just apply makeup I can go ahead and make my presence known.

I reached for the door handle but stopped. Chaminade had produced a cellphone. Yes! Score! The only reason why a person would use a cellphone in the bathroom would be to gossip or something equally as 'sinister'. Now what was she about to talk about? Maybe she'd turn out to be some sort of spy and I'd get permission to--

"Yeah, hey!" her voice echoed through the whole bathroom. Eww, surround sound. She had clipped a mobile phone headset to her ear. Now she was able to use her shit—makeup--freely. While applying mascara she continued to talk. "...hi! Yeah! I'm at Shinra as usual. Do I like my job?" she gestured at her reflection.

What that a habit or did people really think that the person on the other line could see them? Then again, I've been known to nod or shake my head when I know no one can see me. Anyway..

"Of course I do. But sometimes it's hard. Yeah.." she rubbed a little pad into some pink crap and pressed it again her skin, and began rubbing it into it. "Uh huh. Rufus Shinra is my boss, duh. Yeah I'm his secretary. Hah..yeah lots of things pass under my nose but nothing even remotely interesting. He doesn't let me see the good stuff. Probably doesn't trust me." she paused. "Yeah, and with good reason too! Hah..mean. I am not that bad. I know how to keep a secret." her heels clacked against the floor,. She silently applied makeup and listened to whomever she was talking with.

Chaminade glanced over her shoulder. I leaned back from the crack and slid my feet from the door silently. It was too soon to be noticed.

"So anyway..yeah." she was applying mascara. "yeah I'm gonna ask him out ...I've got nothing to lose.."

I felt a particularly nasty frown cross my face. Ask who?! She doesn't mean who I think she means does she?! Ha! She could never even begin to be deserving of his attention! Poor girl is delusional. She should do herself a favor and—whoa whoa whoa simmer down Elena. Who are you , yourself..pot calling the kettle...

"What?" she laughed loudly. "No..I don't have the balls for _that_. Rufus Shinra? Ha no. Why? one,He's my boss and its just cliché for the secretary to be getting done by the boss and two: he might be physically hot but he is pretty damn cold. I don't see him opening up to options anytime soon."

I let out a small breath of relief. Oh..and here I was ready to shoot the girl. So who was she talking about?

"...though there is _something_ I want to get to the bottom of..." make-up clanged. "I can't be certain but I think.." she trailed off. Think what?! C'mon now! Unfortunately, for me, she changed subjects. Her voice got low and she sighed. I leaned forward with interest.

"I now. Yeah I'm doing my job and having fun. Stop being so serious." she rolled her eyes at her reflection.

Hmm and what was that all about? My "Turk-Sense" was tingling. And that usually led me astray. Maybe that's my bladder that's tingling and telling me to release the flood waters.

"Yeah, yeah I do what I'm told." she spoke with the air of a teenager being lectured or scolded by a parent or over-protective friend or sibling. I wasn't exactly dying to kn ow who it was so I kept my mouth shut until she hung up and finished her makeup. When she left I sighed with relief and got down to business.

I left the stall and went to wash my hands. As usual I put the soap in my right hand and turned the water on with my left, then I slapped them together forcefully, causing my skin to sting. The warm water passed through my fingers and between my palms, I rubbed them together a little vigorously than what was necessary, and checked my reflection.

"Damn." I was taken aback. Not because I looked horrible, but because I'd expected to look much worse than I did. My hair was frizzled and full of twigs and grass, my suit had one or two bits of dust on it. That's it. There was no dried blood or anything that would reveal a rough day. Hmph, better luck next time. Sighing, I plucked the twigs and leaves from my hair and dusted off my suit with my damp hands. "Not even a wound.." I rolled my eyes and caught sight of my helpless hair again. Maybe I should take a page out of Chaminade's or Sara's book and carry a purse with hair and make-up maintenance products in it. Or maybe not. Purses weren't exactly practical for a Turk. Or an Elena. I was a whole 'nother kind of woman. Or at least that's what Reno says. I decide to take that as a compliment.

I tore myself away from the mirror and made my way out of the bathroom. I headed down the first hall I found and let myself get lost in my thoughts.

I caught a glimpse of myself in a window that leads into a conference room. The blinds are drawn, so I am assuming someone is in it. Regardless, I stopped and attempted to brush the wild strands in my hair down. _Maybe I should carry a little bottle of hair lotion around with me or something._

"Need some help?" a smooth voice whispered against my ear.

I jumped, my heart began to speed up it's rate. What is he doing here and why didn't I hear him come up behind me?!

"I...hello sir...sir, hi." I stared wide-eyed at our reflection in the window. His hands were resting on my shoulders firmly. "Hello, sir." I couldn't think straight anymore and I felt like my heart was read to burst from my ribcage and bloody up his nice white suit. Where the hell did he come from?! And, more importantly, why wasn't I aware of him coming? Had I been that self-absorbed? "Sir..hi.."

"Hello, Elena." he murmured.

I bit my lip. "Hi. It's nice to see you again..."

"Likewise." his reflection smirked slightly.

My reflection's cheeks grew slightly pink. Oh gosh, why was I blushing! He could totally see that.

"Yeah.." what to say?!

Rufus reached up suddenly and pulled something out of my hair. I groaned internally. A damn Gongagan twig!

"Hard day?" he seemed amused.

I nodded, the heat grew in my face. How embarrassing. "Um..not really...I got lost a little..but.."

"I know."

Of course he knew! He knows everything. He's Rufus Shinra.

"Um.." I was about to ask him how did he know but I was stopped. Rufus turned me around to face him and then released me from his hold. Rufus' eyes met mine. I blushed and looked away quickly. It's a little hard looking him in the eye anyway. Throw in some a moment of hot kissing and ..well yeah.

I stared at the floor. "So how are you?" I forced myself to make eye contact, however brief, with him.

Rufus ran a hand through his perfect hair in the usual manner. "Does it really matter? How are _you_?" a small smile-no..smirk-- danced across his lips. Did Rufus _really_ want to know how I was doing? There seemed to be a hidden meaning in the way he asked me.

I smiled, or at least tried to, but I seemed to have developed a little nervous twitch in my bottom lip. I bit down on it instead. Totally inconspicuous right? Giving the fact that I usually bite my lips anyway.

"Uh...I'm good. Sir." I nodded, adverting my eyes from his, to the floor once again. "I...have been good enough I guess. Sir, its nice to see you again."

"I know..you said that already." Rufus chuckled softly.

I wanted to slap myself against my forehead. Duh! Duh I'd already said that! Maybe this would be easier if I actually looked up at him. I want to look at him so bad but I really can't. This is a bit awkward for me, but I'm sure it was just as normal as any other day for him. What would he have to feel weird about? Oh gosh--

His fingertips brushed my chin. Head rose into my face as I was guided slowly to look up at him. Reluctantly I raised my eyes to level with his, without him asking me to. I looked away quickly at a random wall before maintaining eye contact with him. I unconsciously gnawed at the inside of my cheeks. Rufus, on the other hand, seemed satisfied with the new arrangement. I felt compelled to say something.

"Um...about last night.." I laughed, my nerves causing it sound a little forced and probably deranged. "well..haha..not _last night_ but the _other night_--"

"What about it?" Rufus raised an eyebrow. I shrugged, unsure. I dunno, maybe the fact that we virtually made out? But hey, if you don't wanna talk about it, Rufus, then that's cool too.

"Well...you know-"

"Hmm..perhaps I don't."

What does he mean by that? Was that like..code for something? Or was I really just that forgettable? But if I was _that_ forgettable he wouldn't be talking to me right now.

"What do you mean, that you don't?" I asked before I could stop myself. I didn't actually want to know the answer to that question but I guess it was better than guessing. I tried to read the expression on his face but that deemed impossible.

"Elena.." he tilted my face up and looked down at me. My breath caught in my chest. What was about to happen? He guided me a little closer to him. " about last night..." he trailed off.

The distinct, even though it was soft, sound of elevator doors opening caught our attention. His expression changed slightly into a frown and he checked over his shoulder. I followed his gaze. Several ShinRa employees were coming out of the elevator on the other end of the corridor. At this moment I would have taken delight in them all getting fired.

"Elena." Rufus looked at me again, pointedly. He discretely put his lips to my ear and spoke very low, he paused momentarily, causing me to cling on to his every word..or lack thereof.

"Sir?" I managed without squeaking like a mouse.

"We'll talk _later_." he pulled away from me smoothly and walked away in the opposite direction before I was able to respond.

Watching him go in rare silence I bit my lip and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Hey, I guess a little contact is better than none. At least he didn't completely ignore me like earlier. That moment was just a little too short for me. Man..this has been a long day. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair after he disappeared into an elevator. After I was virtually alone again, I took my leave and headed for my office and the work that awaited me.

I finally reached my floor. I walked down the hall and noted the usual: Tseng's office door was closed, Reno's office door was wide open, and Rude's was slightly ajar. What was a tad unusual was that Reno wasn't in his junky office doing something that didn't involve actually working.

I paused at Rude's office and pushed the odor open silently. Sure enough, Rude was at his desk, filing away documents at a decent pace. But, woo, he had a lot more to go.

"Hey Rude!" I leaned against the door frame and crossed my arms. "Whatcha doin?"

"Hey, Elena." he looked up behind his sunglasses and acknowledged my presence before going back to what he was doing.

"Where's Reno?" I stayed near the threshold, half expecting the red head to unfold from a file cabinet or something.

"Still training." he put another file in the 'finished' pile.

"Oh.." I eyed that skyscraper of documents. I reeeeeallly didn't want to be in my office alone right now finishing the remainder of Reno and Rude's stuff and anything else that might have ended up on my desk while I was out doing things on behalf of the company. "Hey!"

Rude jumped slightly.

"Oops...sorry. Hey! You wanna work together? I still have a whole-lotta crap to do, so how bout it? It'll be like some sorta alternate study group or co-ed slumber party without the beer, sex, scary stories, night time, pajamas, beds, pizza, popcorn, candy, movies, sleeping, pranks, or music."

Rude was silent. I took that as a yes.

"...well technically." I got up from the wall. "I have music. Its on my iPod."

"I know."

I left him in his office for a few minutes and grabbed my unfinished work. Lugging the work from my office to Rude's took a little longer than I thought. And damn, had I underestimated just how heavy that much paper was! But! I refused Rude's two and a half offers to help me.

"So this is nice." I grinned and pulled up a chair across from him. Our work sat between us.

"..." I detected movement from behind those dark sunglasses. Rude looked at me and continued working.

I shrugged. Aww well, if he wants to work in silence, I can dig it. Dig it? Who comes up with that stuff? Oh whatever, I'd better get to work. With that thought in mind, I grabbed some files from the first stack closest to me and went to work filing them away among other things. Doing work like this wasn't very mentally or physically stimulating. My body and a small part of my mind was doing the work but my eyes wandered over Rude's office. Wow, this was the first time I'd really been in this office for more than ten minutes.

It was definitely bigger than mine. I mean, my office wasn't craptasically small like one of the nameless workers on the lower floors but it wasn't exactly very big either. Rude's office wasn't junky like Reno's or neat like Tseng's. It wasn't 'clever' like my own or disturbingly perfect like Rufus'. It was just like Rude, himself in a sense. Neat to a fault, professional but casual-ish, and ...quiet. Yep, just like Rude. There were a few things out of place in his office none the less, and not like out of place: Rude's but like out of place: _somebody else's._

"Hey, Rude? Who's stuff?" I pointed to a black folder on the corner of Rude's desk, a cut up magazine on the floor, several ball point pens tied up by a hair tie, and gum wrappings, gummy candy by the trashcan, and a small fridge in the corner that was surrounded by two or three odd looking devices.

Rude paused from his hard working and followed my hand with his eyes. "Reno's." he said simply.

"Haha, figures. Why isn't it in his own office?" I asked with interest. Learning about Reno and Rude was more interesting than these files.

"Have you _seen _Reno's office?" Rude quirked an eyebrow.

I grinned. Yes! I made Rude say more than one word. I'm glad he has a sense of humor. "Good point. But you better watch out before he turns your office out as well."

Rude chuckled. I smiled to myself. I really like his laugh, it was deep and smooth and made me think of a neat little brown teddy bear in a suit with martial arts capability.

After that we went back to working in silence. I wonder how he sounds when he laughs full out. I'm sure that if anyone knows, it'll be Reno. I wish I had someone that close to me that was one of the same gender. Too bad that I'm technically a 'newbie' and there are no other female Turks. Not saying there were _never_ any. Heck there were several female Turks before me when there used to be _more_ Turks. Like my sister-

"Elena?"

"Yeah?" I looked across the table at Rude. He was watching me with an odd expression.

"Hmm. Nothing. I thought something was wrong."

I cocked my head to the side and blinked. "Why?"

His broad shoulders went up then down in a shrug. "You suddenly frowned."

"I did?" I touched my face. I felt around for traces of a negative expression but it wasn't there. Hmph..wouldn't be the first time. "Oh.." I laughed in a way that I hoped didn't spark suspicions or questions. I looked back at the file in my hand and then placed it down on the desk. "I was just thinking about how we—Turks--are made to do work that would be fit for someone else. Sometimes I just feel like a glorified secretary."

Rude was silent. I peeked up at him. He was leaning back in his seat and stroking his goatee with his index finger. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. It was one thing receiving a scrutinizing look from Reno or Tseng but it was a whole other thing to receive that look from someone who's eyes I couldn't see.

"What?" I demanded, sitting back in my seat too and crossing my arms. I couldn't hide the small smile dancing on my face though.

"Hmm." Rude looked away and went back to work. "We are given the files that are...important."

That makes sense, I guess.

"So you are saying that we are given the files and documents that are too classified and stuff for someone like a secretary or a file clerk to handle, right? So they are given the crappy, boring files and errands. Huh," I chewed my bottom lip thoughtfully. "That makes me feel important. Buuuuut...it still doesn't beat field assignments."

"Yeah." Rude agreed.

With that settled we got back to work. There was complete silence minus the occasional sigh from me and the rustling of paper. That silence, however, just wasn't gonna last long enough for Rude's tastes. Silence just wasn't one of my strong points.

"Hey? Rude?" something had been on my mind anyway, there was no time like boring paper filing to bring it up. I just hope he didn't kick me out of his office. "Why, Tifa? Like, why do you like her?" I wasn't _just_ being nosy. Maybe this would give me some insight on how male minds work. Shiva knows I needed some help.

"..."

"Okay. Thanks. Have you liked anyone else?"

"..."

Maybe I should stop. "C'mon Rude. It's funner when you talk."

"..."

"Aww Rude, Why are yo so quiet? I like talking to you when you actually..well..talk."

I tossed another finished file in one of our several cardboard boxes that would make transporting these documents a whole lot easier even if we wouldn't be the ones transporting them. "Well?"

"...I don't know. Yes." It seemed like it took him a lot of energy to answer me. Okaaaay, that "yes" did especially. Maybe I should change the subject. I didn't want to make him relive some potentially painful memory of a love long lost or something around those lines. Especially since nine times out of ten she was either dead, missing, or worse.

"Oh." I shrugged. "If you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask anymore."

Rude sighed. We worked in silence and in that silence we progressed through the greater half of our workload. The working just made my thoughts wander even more, of course. Who was the girl and how much in common did she have with Rude? As much as Tifa? Ha! That's quite a strain isn't it. Having feelings for someone that was against you and you'd probably have to maim, injure, or kill if it came down to it? Maybe, it was better to fall for someone you knew was expendable so it wouldn't hurt if they had to die. It would be easier to keep from letting guards down and becoming attached. I guess that's one way people in that situation could look at it. Maybe...I'm like that too. Expendable to him...oh hell, I need to stop over analyzing things.

"Hey...Rude? What do you think about love? Think it can change people?" I nibbled my bottom lip and continued to work.

"Why? Are you in love?" Rude asked quietly. At least he didn't _seem _to be prying into my alleged love life like Reno had been.

"No." I shook my head. Love? No. No. No. I don't know how i feel but I know it's a little too soon to use that word. That word was like a taboo or something. It could end marriages, friendships, and lives. That word could make a grown mind (other than Rufus, of course) cry. That word could hurt more than anything. Man. Actually...love is kinda neat. But no..not me..I haven't. "Love is fantastic and all but nope. Not yet. So what do you think? How do you feel?"

"You are cute but-"

"Rude!" I laughed. "You know I didn't mean it like that."

A ghost of a warm smirk played across his face. I bet his eyes were smiling too. Unfortunately, I couldn't see them.

"I don't know. It could." he answered slightly seriously.

"Yeah. Hey, will you take your sunglasses off for me?"

"No."

"Can't say I didn't try."I shrugged.

We settled back into our silence. I wonder what Rufus is doing right now and what did he mean by 'later'? Did he mean, like, tonight?! It was already getting dark. Or did he mean later like 'never'? Or like as in 'whenever'? Dang, maybe I'm over-analyzing things. Reno would call that a typical "Elena moment." He has told me before that I think too much. He says thinking can get you killed.

"Rude, do I think too much?" I put another file folder in a half-full cardboard box.

"Why?" he dumped several into the box as well.

"Because, Reno says I do." I rolled my eyes and began filing away another document type. "in fact, he says I do a lot of things. Why does he pick so much at me? Is it because I'm a rookie? Or a girl? Or am I just being hyper-sensitive?"

There was a momentary silence. I half-expected him to go into some sort of dramatic speech with the accompaniment of music. With drums...and a guitar. Definitely a guitar.

"Reno is a lot of things, but he is not a sexist. He has never met a girl in any profession that he didn't like, even if she's trying to kill him. When we told him that a girl would be joining us, he was really excited."

That was quite a bit of talking to say it was from Mr.Tall, Dark, Handsome, and Slightly-Enigmatic.

"So why does he seem to pick at me more than at you and Tseng? I don't mind it since I have a sense of humor but..." I slid some files into a small brown envelope.

Rude nodded. "He does it to make you better, mostly."

I felt myself breaking into a smile again. "Oh, I know. I appreciate it too. It's neat that you know too." I tucked back a strand of hair before picking up a new file. "you guys have been friends for how long?"

"A while. But not really as long as you'd think."

Oh? What, did they hate each other at first? Or were they just partners who bonded a while?

"So...hey...can I ask you something? I've been wanting to ask since I came in here. You're a smart man so I'm sure you have something wise and Rude-like to say. Kay?" I focused on not seeming suspiciously uncomfortable right now. I continued working to seem nonchalant and to have some use of my hands. "Okay. What do you think about being in a relationship with a coworker?"

"A coworker?" Rude muttered thoughtfully.

"And noooo I don't secretly pine for Reno before I go to sleep at night." wow, that wasn't too far from the truth though. All he had to do was change the name...whew.

"I know." he said simply.

"You do?!" I almost dropped the yellow file folder in my hand. But then I realized something. He _does_ know. Hah..funny thing was that he didn't realize that Tseng's who I was thinking about when I asked that question.

"Yeah." Rude wasn't going to go into detail for my sake, it would seem. Points for him!

"So? Your opinion?" I examined the desk. We only had two baby stacks left. So, we have proved the life-long belief that four hands are better than two.

"I don't think that's a 'good' idea, giving the circumstances, but if you can manage it, then fine."

"That's all? That's your words of wisdom?" I eyed him with mock disappointment. "Rude!"I slammed my hands on the desk, causing him to jump slightly. Points to me for startling Rude twice in one day. "That's all?!"

"...you are frightening."

"Thanks! That's something I don't hear everyday." I beamed. "But c'mon give me more than two sentences." I placed my and on his and petted it briefly until he pulled it away.

Rude sighed in defeat. Yes! I conquered the mighty Rude of the Turks.

"...I think you'll probably end up getting hurt, especially if you don't know this person as well as you'd like to. Or if you hold him in too high of esteem and forget that he's only human. Worse, if you go into it too fast..."

I nodded. "And..and?"

"...is this '_coworker' _in a '_higher position' _than you?" the way he stressed those words, I know he was implying something. He paused for me to answer.

"Urm...well yeah." much, much, much, higher. Like seventieth floor higher. Like Presidential, higher. I know who they thought I was referring to though. So, had they come to a collective conclusion that Tseng was the "mystery man" I'd gone on a date with?

"Hmm. Just be careful with that. You don't want to realize something when it's too late." Rude finished what he had to say.

I nodded. I guess he was right even if he really had no clue as to who I was truly referring too. I _could _tell him. I look up at Rude again, thoughtfully. He's working in his comfortable silence again. I could tell him. He's not judgmental or biased and he wouldn't tell anyone else. It'd be nice to let someone else in on the 'little scandal'. Then at least I'd have one confidant. I would have told Sara but I don't' _know_ her that well and she's friends with his loud secretary. Rude was the best option. If he responded well to it, then maybe it was okay. Right? I feel like I can really trust him, anyway.

"Rude?" I cast my eyes downward to my work. Whatever he'd be able to read in my eyes..I didn't want him to. Maybe a pair of sunglasses of my own would be a great idea.

"Hmm?"

I opened my mouth but closed it. Maybe it wasn't a good idea. I mean I didn't even really understand the situation and for all I know he might never talk to me again. It was just one little night and stuff, that doesn't mean we should start picking out china patterns. I still had yet to figure out what "later" meant anyway.

"Hey, what do you think of our boss?" I made myself seem totally unconcerned—I think.

"Our boss?"

"Yeah. President Rufus. What do you think about him?" I looked over the desk's surface. "Have any gum?"

Rude silently opened a drawer and tossed me a stick of gum in a bright green wrapper. I unwrapped it and popped it in my mouth while reveling at my genius. Gum made people seem completely careless so maybe he'd not think too far into my question. Right? Right? _Right? _

"So?" I asked again while chewing away. I attempted to blow a bubble, something I couldn't do since I was born, and failed at it. "What do you think of him? President Rufus?"

"I don't know." Rude answered, non-committed.

"Oh come on. Don't give me that. What do you think?"

_Let me tell you Rude, personally I think he is working those white ensembles and he can kiss better than anyone else in the world. I know! From Experience! Yep. He also smells really great and I have his fragrance committed to memory after I inhaled it when my head was on his chest. He's also got such a nice voice and it's got hidden, raw, sex appeal._

"Elena?" Rude's eyebrows were raised.

Something was in that gum! Had to be..otherwise those thoughts wouldn't have just flashed across my mind!

"Hmm?" my cheeks felt warm.

"Did you hear me?" Rude rested his chin on his hand.

"What did you say?" I blinked.

"Are you seeing Rufus Shinra?"

The gum became lodged in my throat like a block of gooey cement. It pushed against the walls of my esophagus painfully, I gagged and coughed.

"What?" I swallowed hard several times before it went down. So that's seven years right? Thanks, Rude. "Why would you even...say .." I coughed violently. "that!" I coughed yet again.

Rude stared. "Want some water?"

"I'm good." my eyes stung. "you think _I'm_ seeing _him_?! That's...crazy talk!" I coughed again.

"I know." Rude smiled slightly. "I was joking."

"Oh." I hid a sigh of relief behind a forced cough. Stupid Elena, you almost told on yourself! "So...what do you think?"

"He is a lot different from his father." Rude shrugged.

"Different how? Like youthful.." _sexy.._. "smart..." _really sexy.._ "...and not a big old red-wearing asshole?"

"Elena.."

"Did I say that out loud? Or is someone standing behind me?" I checked over my shoulder, luckily no one was there. "I wouldn't know personally since I never worked under him though. At least Rufus isn't an asshole, yes?"

Rude raised an eyebrow, shook his head, and went back to work. I would say I'd rendered him speechless but that would be just too much irony.

Once again we fell into a comfortable silence. I wanted to strike up another conversational topic but talking would slow us down. So instead, I continued to work. What Rude had said about "finding out something when it's too late". What did he mean by that? Was it like one of those subliminal messages that would actually become useful? I dunno..I guess it doesn't matter right now..it's not like I'm in a relationship or anything. Either way, it's nice to talk to Rude one-on-one. I still have yet to crack the reasoning behind those sunglasses though...

"Well... it looks like we're done here. Too bad." I glanced out of a window. It as pretty darn dark out there now. All I could see was the city lights and the dark, smoky sky. I leaned over the desk to view our finished labor. "Yep."

"I guess, so." Rude agreed. He adjusted his sunglasses and cracked his knuckles.

"Well." I felt a yawn coming on. "I'd better go. Long day, huh?" thoughts of curling up with some ice cream, cookies, chips, and maybe some little cakes crossed my mind. I stretched.

"Yeah." Rude opened a drawer and began rummaging through it.

I stood up and stretched again. "Hey Rude, want me to take those files where they need to be?" I rubbed my neck, it was getting kinda stiff.

"Oh? No. They will come pick them up." Rude's voice came from behind the desk.

I shrugged. "Oh, alright. See you later, Rude."

I waved and headed for the door. Opening it, I leaned into the empty hallway and then stopped before leaving.

"Hey, Rude?" I chewed my bottom lip.

"Hmm?"

"You know how they say President Rufus has never cried or bled? Think that's true?"

Rude was silent for a minute. I checked over my shoulder at him. He was writing something on a sticky note. "I doubt it. He's human just like anybody else.."

"I dunno about that." I muttered mostly to myself. Someone that's _never_ cried or bled..I dunno..I mean I cry when the feeling hits me and I bleed all the time because I have a tendency to either harm myself accidentally or run into something or someone. Could someone like him even tolerate someone that was like me? Would that mean that he's never like gotten hurt emotionally or physically? We're just way too different then, huh? Something just seems a little off about that.

"Bye, Rude." I smiled and let myself out.

I really don't know how true the whole crying and bleeding thing is. I mean ..that would just be a rumor or something. Either way, one thing I did know was that I was going to find out what "later" meant.

* * *

--

* * *

_**A/N: I know I said I was going to update sooner but I had gotten busy with 4-H club congress and graduation and all of that so I decided to wait until I had absolute free time to complete and post this chapter.I can not believe how long it is! The beginning, which was about the Turks in Gongaga, was following the scene when Cloud and Co. run into them and that little moment happens. I attempted to stay completely true to the dialogue and I used the game itself as a reference. I didn't want the whole chapter to be only about that one incident because the chapter wouldn't have been very long or interesting. I wanted specific interaction between Rude and Elena as well and I decided that this chapter would be a good time to do it, there will be subsequent scenes involving Elena and Reno as well as Tseng in later chapters. It is to help along the character's development because the story isn't just about Rufus and Elena's interactions , eventual relationship,and character development but it's also about the people that Elena is surrounded by.I know that I haven't had Rufus appearing much in the past two chapters but that was for a reason, of course. I wanted to add more to this note but it's already getting a bit long so I will say the other things in the next chapter or the next. With that said, I hope my work paid off and I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Please review after you read, how else will I know what you think? Even a few sentences is better than saying nothing at all, right? **_

_**Don't forget to review!**_


	12. This

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**_This_**

* * *

Later must mean never. Seriously. He did not say a word to me the day after our encounter. I saw him three times the next day and each time he walked right past me as if I didn't exist even after I said a hasty hello to him in a hallway full of people while I was running an errand for Tseng. I keep telling myself that he's just waiting until both of us aren't busy but something tells me that's not entirely true. I mean..he's Rufus Shinra..he's only busy when he chooses to be. Did later seriously mean later or did it mean like..not ever. Was his later just code for me to back off? Why am I the one that has to back off anyway? He's the one that started this ..._right_? Or did "later" mean ...just later. Well regardless..I feel like I've given later long enough to come. He's given me so much to look forward to and I'm not a person that can wait for too long for even the climax of a movie. I have been known to fast forward it just so I can be sure as to what's going to happen. So this is not cutting it for me what so ever. I feel like later should have happened waaay before a brand new week passed. Maybe I should do something about it. Take some of my own initiative. Well..but first I have to actually...well..uh..find some initiative. At least where Rufus is concerned. Yeah...this might be a little harder than I expected. But, hey, if he's not going to come to me then maybe I should come to him--

"Elena are you going to eat that or stare at it like you're in love with it?" Reno asked, taking me roughly from my thoughts.

"Reno, you know I only love you..." I said, my tone dripping with sarcasm.

Reno, Rude, and I were in the lounge having lunch. Tseng would have joined us but he was busy and probably was going to have lunch in his office. I was sitting on a window seat with my knees drawn up to my chest and looking over the scene below. My lunch sat at my feet. Reno and Rude were sitting across from each other playing chess in the sitting area.

"I believe that too." Reno muttered, he seemed to be in slight concentration. He stroked his chin and frowned. "hmm.."

I watched them silently, waiting for Reno to make his move. Who knew Reno could even play chess? He didn't seem like the kind of person that would put deep concentration into something, but apparently he did. He could easily be underestimated, I guess he enjoyed that fact so then when people thought he couldn't, he'd reveal that he could do it _and _better than them.

"Reno…you are so easily underestimated." I picked at my sandwich before looking up to see his reaction.

He laughed slyly and made his move, taking one of Rude's white chess pieces. "And you, Laney, are too. You come off seeming all innocent but least when someone expects it you shoot them in the face."

"I agree." Rude commented while silently deliberating his next move. I bet it was hard to read his expressions since he wore sunglasses for reasons I am still not aware of. Reno was definitely at a disadvantage.

"I dunno about that..." I shrugged and turned back to the window.

Hmm...maybe I should ask them their opinion of what I should do about this dilemma of mine. They might have some pretty wise stuff to tell me. I just hope that Reno doesn't start interrogating me about who the guy is, once again.

"Hey, guys?" I was a little reluctant but it was a little too late to stop now, besides it was definitely worth hearing what they had to say on the subject.

"Ooh...you know what?" Reno suddenly interrupted me while dangling a chess piece over the board. "We should go out tonight."

"...oh...okay..." I took a bite of my sandwich. "How about I bring Sara along?" I suggested offhandedly.

"Sure! That'd be great." Reno grinned and his blue eyes got a little brighter.

I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't expected him to take to my idea so strongly. Did he really have it bad for Sara or was he just enjoying chasing her? Tonight would be a great way to figure that out, just by watching them. Maybe I could put my investigative skills-or lack of-to the test. I wonder, does Rufus and Reno have anything in common? Is Rufus just paying—or _was_ paying—attention to me just because he wanted a little thrill of a chase? Nah..I don't believe that. I might have to end up cutting someone's shit off. Besides, I'm sure there are more thrilling women to chase. Like Scarlet.

"What were you going to ask us, Elena?" Rude asked quietly, while taking one of Reno's chess pieces captive.

"Oh..." I pointed to myself and then shook my head. I didn't even know they'd heard me at first. "Um..I was wondering...if someone...like if this guy is like paying you all this attention but then suddenly he stops and he doesn't even talk to you anymore even though he said he'd talk to you later…what does that mean? Like what would you do about that?"

Reno stroked his chin for a moment and furrowed his brow in deep thought, then he gave me his deep conclusion:

"I'd be glad as hell."

"Uh…why?" I laid my head on my knees and watched him. Why would he be glad that he was getting ignored? Wait...

"Because I don't want some dude checking me out, anyway."

I grabbed a napkin and balled it up, ready to aim for his head. He held up his hands in surrender.

"Hold up, I'm kidding. Naw, really I'd be curious as to why...I dunno..I'm not good as this stuff. Ask Rude." he shrugged.

"Rude?" at least I knew he'd have something introspective to say, though I doubt I can get as many words out of him today as I did several days ago.

"If you see him, pull him to the side and ask him."

_Well Rude, I just can't pull Rufus Shinra to the side and ask him something. That's unheard of...that's not natural...no one would be expecting me to talk to Rufus Shinra in a demanding fashion. I wouldn't even expect me to do that. No, Rude...just no._

I sighed, leaning against the glass. "Thanks, Rude."

"Or!" Reno suddenly shouted. If I didn't catch myself I might have fallen out of the window. "You could go where he is frequently and demand answers. I mean hey, if he promised you a talk later then you deserve it now. Right?" he frowned for a moment, watching as Rude takes one of his last standing pieces, then he looked up at me. "If you really like this guy, then you have to take some initiative sometimes, chick."

There was no doubting the serious—okay, half serious—look on his face. I could tell he still wanted to know who the guy was so he could probably jump him in the lobby and be like 'yo'.

"Don't look at me like that." Reno laughed, running a hand through his mess of red hair. "You'd be surprised what I can come up with."

"No I'm not surprised." I shrugged and tried not to smile.

"Or..." Reno sat back silently in his chair and watched me. "You know...he could just be over you, Laney. Have you ever thought about that? He might just be over you and maybe you should just _let it go_?" he shrugged.

I frowned. I hadn't wanted to think about it like that, but maybe Reno was right. But if he was truly 'over me' then why didn't he just tell me?

"Laney, don't look like that, it's just an idea." Reno said. "I mean...if you want Rude and I can go to him personally and fuck him up."

I shook my head and smiled lightly. "No Reno, I'm going to go to the gym, maybe kill two Chocobos with one stone."

* * *

Rude offered to do my paperwork for me today, for which I was glad because I wasn't thinking straight. I usually wouldn't have accepted such a rare offer because I have a strong work ethic. Regardless, after he relieved me of my duties I went to the gym, mostly to think more than tone my body.

Around this time of day, the gym is occupied by only a small amount of people. When I came in I noticed a dark haired effeminate guy at a punching bag, hitting that thing with more strength than what one would expect of a guy with a build like his. A few others were on the bottom level on the rock wall that extends to the second level and ceiling, the treadmills, weight stations, and gymnast mats.

I looked away from two shorter girls doing odd, uncomfortable bends, and made my way to the locker rooms to change. I emerged in black shorts and a tank top, stopping at the mirror to force my hair into a short ponytail. Looking around, I decided on running the track on the second level because I really wanted to be alone, somewhere I could 'zone out' without having others around. Jogging with thirty pound weights wasn't something that really required much concentration. I really wanted to think about what Reno and Rude had said to me.

I sprinted up the stairs to the second level. The only thing in this area was a large red track, looking down I could see a basketball, tennis, and racket ball court as well as a fight training area directly below. The track was surrounded by thick glass on both sides.

After stretching and warming up for five minutes I grabbed some weights.

Running onto the track, I started at a slow jog. Breathing evenly, I let my body work without my mind. It took me three full laps to become completely disconnected from my surroundings. All I could hear was my blood pounding through my ears, my rhythmic breathing, the sound of my feet hitting the ground, and my thoughts.

Rufus. What _did_ he mean by later?! Did he really not want to have anything to do with me anymore? Should I even be worrying so much about it? I mean he's my boss; I have no business even fantasizing about this. But…maybe Rude is right. I can't just pull _Rufus Shinra_ to the side though. Then there's Reno's even more radical idea. _Demand _answers? Who I am to demand anything from Rufus Shinra, eh? Regardless, I'm still confused, torn, and downright perplexed. Let's see now…

The first time Rufus acknowledges me –and calls me Edna-- was while Tseng was present. The next time he saw me in this very gym and complimented me—and I wish that he'd pop up right now. Anyway, next he coincidentally came to my office, took me to his office...finally he asked me out...and well…kissed me. All of this...and then no answer. I hope he has not lost interest in me. I am a very interesting person right? With layers. Like an onion. But...maybe I'm not interesting enough for The President. He could have at least given me a hint instead of "later". That unfairly leaves some false hope. False hope to what? What would I do if he was serious and we ended up together? I don't know how to act with a 'boyfriend'. I've never actually had one...

The windows were a blur now; I couldn't see my feet beneath me.

…maybe I should just forget about it. It would be in my best interest, probably. Besides, what would I do with the President as mine? I've never...gah my thoughts are going in a circle. Did it matter now that I reaeeally wanted his attention and actually looked forward to the occasions when he acknowledged my existence? But...then again...he might just be busy and later meant "when we are both not busy." I like that scenario much, much better. It gives me a more positive outlook on the situation. Even then though..._can I handle a relationship with a man like Rufus?_ I can't even handle hot coffee! How can I handle that when even the potential..._the idea._..freaks me out? I am much more comfortable just fantasizing from afar about the men I am attracted to. I dunno…maybe...

Was running under the influence illegal?

...I could handle it. I mean I handle being a Turk pretty well so maybe I can handle that well too. I mean he's just a human...or at least that's what Rude said. I don't quite get how Rufus Shinra could qualify for "just a human." But I want him so bad! I want him sooo bad. Or maybe I'm just _in love with the idea of him_? I've clearly been known to do that before.

Someone else had joined me on the track. They were running at a much slower pace. I slowed down and came to a complete stop when I reached my bag and water sitting against the wall. Sitting down beside my bag I grabbed the bottle. Then something hit me. Maybe it was the adrenaline but my thoughts were clearer than they'd been all day.

I opened my water and sipped the cold liquid thoughtfully. "I'm gonna do it." I nodded to myself.

"Huh?"

The other jogger slowed down, with a confused look on her face. Oops, my bad.

"Nothing. Just thinking..."

"Oh." she jogged away, her dark hair billowed behind her.

Anyway. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to take a page or two from Reno's advice. I'm not going to demand anything but I am going to ask him about 'later'.

* * *

That whole adrenaline infused revelation must have washed away in the gym showers because my nerves are kicking in, one by one, with each step. Who, in their right mind told me to do this? Oh..yeah..Reno and Rude did. Well there was no turning back now, even if I wanted to. I had reached the top floor and Chaminade was looking at me expectantly. Damn secretaries! Why couldn't she be nonchalant and uncaring like my normal, worthless, one? If I took off in the direction I came, most secretaries wouldn't care. But not her. She had a phone in one hand, a pen in the other, white out in her mouth, and an unfinished chicken salad before her scattered desk. Her eyes, however, focused tightly on me.

"Hey, Chaminade." I approached her desk.

She blinked in greeting and continued her business call.

"Uh..I came to see The President."

She spit her White-Out bottle out and reached for the intercom to tell Rufus. I pushed her hand gently away from it. She looked up at me with confused and curious eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Um..he'd rather you not call. Trust me. Earlier he was already in a secretary- choking mood He knows I'm supposed to be here, sooo it's not necessary anyway." I rearranged the paperweight, in the shape of a dolphin, on her desk. "Trust me, he is not in a great mood."

At least she isn't able to tell all of the quirks I have that revealed that I am lying my ass off.

Satisfied with Chaminade's wide eyes, I continued on my way, my confidence dropping with each step. How would Rufus react to my surprise visit? I couldn't have him know I was coming because he might deny me. That'd really suck to supremely epic proportions. I left her at her desk and tried to imagine the shocked curiosity that was probably on her face. My smugness didn't last long, however. Before I knew it, I was in front of the imposing doors of Rufus' office. What was I going to say to him?! How can I justify coming to his office unannounced?

"It's okay."I closed my eyes, hoping when I opened them that I would wake up in my office and not in front of Rufus's.

Unfortunately...I lack '_Teleport_' Materia.

I sighed softly and raised my hand to knock, silently praying that he wasn't viewing his surveillance outside of his door right now. He'd spot quite a sight, that's for sure. Gah, the longer I wait, the more anxiety will build and the more I will shake. I can't let him see me shaking and stuff.

Taking another deep breath, I straightened my suit and ID tag. Okay, here we go. The sound of my knocks against the metal door felt much louder to me than what it probably was. My throat felt tight, my stomach fluttered, and I couldn't breathe correctly.

The door opened suddenly. Rufus Shinra emerged. His blue eyes widened for a rare moment. So he was surprised that I was here then?

"Elena?" he frowned slightly. Crap.

"Hi..." my voice came out steadier than I thought it would be.

"What are you doing, here?" he crossed his arms over his chest.

"To talk to you...about..._something._" I put my hands behind my back. "Sir."

He was silent. I looked away. Maybe this wasn't a good idea?

"Come in." he moved out of the doorway.

"Thank you, sir." I walked past him over the threshold and into his perfectly perfect office. The door closed behind me and it was then that I realized that I was once again locked in Rufus' office with him. I became very aware of the fact that he was standing near me.

He walked past me and I followed. I sat down in one of the four chairs that sat on the opposite side of his desk. I suddenly feel like I'm about to have one odd business meeting with him instead of a discussion about whatever I was going to talk to him about. I shifted uncomfortably in the black leather chair and stared at the surface of his desk. Rufus sat down across from me. I glanced up at him; he was not paying me any attention! He was..writing something down on a document.

Um... Maybe I should just be silent until he finishes whatever he was doing before I came in. With that thought in mind, I sat back in the chair and folded my hands in my lap.

_Boy, this is uncomfortable. _

Ten minutes have passed since I came in here, I silently checked my watch. Is he going to acknowledge me? Or...

"Um...sir? Rufus, sir?" I cleared my throat softly. "Sir?"

Rufus looked up at me from whatever he was writing. "So you're ready now?" he searched my face, for what I do not know, before a small self-satisfied smirk crossed his features.

"I...guess. Yes." I was a little confused now. I ran a hand through my hair.

Rufus flicked his blond locks from his face, importantly, and pressed a button on the intercom that rested on his desk. "Chanda."

"It's Chaminade, sir-"

"I don't care, Cherie. That's what you fail to understand." Rufus cut her off curtly. "If anyone comes to see me, send them away." he glanced at me. "And answer my calls. You understand?"

"Why, sir? I will need a reason to give them if they ask.." Chaminade's voice filled the room.

"They don't need a reason. That'll be all, Chanelle."

I covered my mouth to stop a laugh that was bubbling to the top. I wonder how many times he has called her the wrong name. I have a feeling it was more on purpose than anything...or maybe he just didn't care what her name was. She was here to work for him, not to have a name, I guess. Not that I condone that kind of treatment or anything.

With that, Rufus turned his full attention on me. "Elena, I must say, I was not expecting you_, today_."

"Oh...I'm sorry...I should have...told you I was coming, sir. Scheduled an appointment, sir. This was...a bit on the whim actually...and I know that's not really acceptable. Sorry, about that, sir." what did he mean by the way he said 'today'? Doesn't matter, I guess.

"...you think so?" Rufus didn't stop to let me answer. "So...what is it that you want to talk about?"

I didn't expect him to be so direct about it and put me on the spot like that. Secretly, I wish he would have adverted my purpose for being here for a little while before the question of my coming was addressed. No such luck, I guess. That was a good question though. What was it that I wanted to talk about again? Oh yeah...I know now.

"Um...well. About ...'later'." I paused and waited for a reaction.

"Later?" Rufus was scanning the document he'd been busy with when I came with a nonchalant air about him.

"Well...yeah..." I leaned forward, resting my elbows on his desk. "Later. You'd told me you were going to talk with me later...but you never did. Um... and I wanted to talk about 'us'. I mean..."

"_Us_?" If he wasn't commenting, I'd believe he wasn't listening to me.

"Well..." I watched him pick up his pen again and scratch out something. "Not...'_us'_ literally I mean there is no '_us_' right? I meant that figuratively and potentially I guess. I...it's not every day that I..." I trailed off and bit my lip. I can't help but feel like he's not paying attention to a word I'm saying. It's just a little off putting and mildly irritating. I'd like him to give me his undivided attention...even if I really shouldn't be demanding that. "Sir? Are you listening to me?"

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" he continued to write. I can see myself flinging that pen out of the nearest window.

"Oh. Well...anyway...I am beginning to get a little antsy. I know that's a bit sad but...I can't help it. I really want to know...well...what's been going on, I guess. This is all very new to me and...I'm confused, I hate to admit it, but it is true. I am more confused about this than I'd been about anything. And that's a lot...because...well...I'm very... loopy."I finished lamely.

"I can't see why you're allowing yourself to get ...confused." he muttered softly, still doing whatever he was doing.

"I feel...I dunno." I ran a hand through my hair. This wasn't the type of conversation I should be having at work with my boss.

"I think you do know." Rufus pulled open a drawer in his desk, and produced a paperclip and a black stamp with the ShinRa logo on it.

I waited for him to do so before I said anything. I wasn't so sure about this anymore. I didn't even know myself well enough to even understand myself, let alone this.

"Elena." Rufus pushed the work to one side. He leaned forward and rested his chin on a fist. His hair fell gently over the left side of his face; he pushed it from his face. "Tell me, what are you feeling?"

"What...what I am feeling...sir?"

"Yes."

"I...I am not sure..." I shifted uncomfortably. This wasn't supposed to be this hard. I was supposed to be in control of the situation, I'd had the element of surprise! But now I was the one answering questions. The ball wasn't in my court anymore. Was it ever, actually?

"I think you are. You can relax, whatever you say..." he gave me an odd look. It seemed a mixture of a smile and a frown. "...it will not leave the walls of this office."

He is so convincing...it's hard not to believe him. And why shouldn't I believe him? He has no reason—at the moment—to lie. Honestly, my words being told to others wasn't what worried me. It was _him_ hearing them that bothered me. I have no experience with expressing my feelings and when I do express them they usually come out in a breathy jumble that ends up making very little sense. I'm not really comfortable, I should say, with expressing my feelings to someone like _him. _

"It's..." I stared at the desktop. "...I feel...confused." If I stopped I wouldn't be able to start again. "And...I don't really get why you...would even find interest in me. Then...I guess...uh..." I bit my lip and rubbed my sweaty palms over my pants. "I feel...intrigued I guess? I really think you are ...really...um...handsome and interesting. For that, I can't stop asking myself if this is even really happening to me or am I dreaming. I...I'm just so very confused, and I'm sorry that I came unannounced but it was driving me a little mad that you hadn't _really_ talked to me since our..since we...since I….since you..." I gestured hopelessly.

"Kissed." he supplied indifferently.

"Yes." I nodded, unable to look at him. I intertwined my fingers in my lap and held them together.

"Elena. Are you aware of who I am?"

What did that mean? I was very aware of the fact that he was the President and my boss. Or did that question hold a double-meaning? Or maybe it was rhetorical? Or maybe...I'm over-analyzing again.

"I...yes." I added under my breath. "I think."

"Do you realize that I have the power to do whatever I want and to get whatever I desire? If I wanted you fired, or dead, it would happen."

"I...am aware of that, sir." I could barely speak; my words came out as a whisper. What was he saying? Was he trying to psyche me out? If he was, he was doing a great job. He was serious, wasn't he? Perhaps, perusing this instead of waiting or letting it go hadn't been a great idea. All I'd wanted to know was if this was actually real or not or if the world was just playing some really mean joke on me.

"If we were to continue this..it would not be like being with someone else. So, tell me. Do you wish to pursue this?"

Do I? Was he asking me if I wanted to be his...um...yeah...whatever _this_ is? What about Tseng? _Truly, what about him?_ It's not as if he actually is attracted to me. All he sees me as is the overly-talkative, new addition to the Turks. So, now that the question had vaguely been raised...

"Answer me, Elena."

I was suddenly guided to look up at Rufus. He'd tilted my face up with barely a touch. He was watching me expectantly. So much pressure!

"I...think so. Yes, sir..." I mumbled. I can't even think straight right now.

"You _think_ so?" he raised an eyebrow.

I nodded. What else could I say? He stared at me for a moment, his cold blue eyes searching my face, then a small smile—or what seemed to be one—cross his features.

"Well, this should be interesting." he said almost to himself.

"I...I guess so, sir." I adverted my eyes as my cheeks grew warm. "I...should probably be going now, sir." I said, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Yes, you probably should."

Rufus sat back and watched me silently. I got up quietly, and tried to make it my business to make it out of the room without tripping over my own feet or worse. Knowing that he was sitting there and watching me intently was almost like a little test, in my mind. I was barely five inches from his desk before he stopped me.

"Elena. Wait a moment."

I stopped and spun around. "Yes, sir?"

"How would you-" he didn't get to finish that because the intercom on his desk buzzed. I wished that he'd ignore it and finish what he had to say, but he didn't.

So, I stood there silently and waited. I just knew it was his secretary calling.

"Chaminade, did I not give you clear and direct orders?" his tone was laced with irritation. Poor Chaminade didn't know what she was interrupting. I don't know if I should be irritated as well with her interruption or grateful for it, as it made the tense air grow dense. Maybe she'd get fired? I had nothing against her but...I don't think Rufus liked

being interrupted. I've never actually seen him too annoyed before, but I know he can give people quite a hard time.

"Yes..but he insists that you had an important meeting with him scheduled and..he-" she was beginning to sound just a little frantic.

"Enough, Cerulean." Rufus rolled his eyes.

I crossed my arms and waited quietly, still. Perhaps I should go? If someone is supposed to be coming to meet him?

"With all due respect, President Rufus, it's Chami-"

"I don't care. Send him up." with that he cut her off in mid sentence and the room fell silent again for a moment.

"I should...go?" I felt really awkward standing here without a reason.

"Yes, you should." the irritation that had laced his tone with Chaminade was gone now. That made me feel a little better about barging in unannounced in the first place. I'm sure I was being a major inconvenience to the normal flow of the workplace. I shouldn't even be up here, actually, I should be doing something that was in my job description, and I'm sure my job description did not include unsolicited flirtations with The President.

"I'll let you out."

Rufus rose from his desk and came around to me. His hand found the small of my back and he led me to the door. Before opening it for me, he paused. I looked up at him expectantly, trying not to get flustered by the closeness. "We'll talk later."

"When...you say later...you mean..?" I asked before I could stop myself. I didn't want another repeat of 'later' and then he never talked to me again.

Rufus seemed slightly amused with my question. He got my point. "Soon."

I guess that was good enough. I'd take that. I nodded.

He opened the door for me and let me out. I was barely halfway down the hall before Rufus' 'guest' arrived, complete with a file folder and a slight frown.

Tseng.

"Elena? What are you doing up here?" he stopped. I stopped and glanced back down the hall, I'm not sure if Rufus could see us from here or not. I just wanted to get back to my office. How could I explain why I was in Rufus' office to Tseng?

"Um..."

He waited.

"Uh.."

His frown got deeper.

"Er.."

He raised a speculative eyebrow.

"He was asking my advice on something." I lied, focusing on straightening my ID tag to avoid looking him in the eye.

"He was asking for advice?" the tone of Tseng's voice proved that he highly doubted that fact. Rufus wasn't the kind of person that seemed to ask for advice, especially not from _me _of all people. I'm sure that's what he was thinking too.

"Yeah. Can't tell you anymore than that. Well, sir, I have to get back to work..I don't want you to be late for your meeting with The President, sir."

Before Tseng was able to reply to that I walked away as quickly as possible without actually breaking into a run.

* * *

Many times I have heard people tell others to expect the unexpected. So I do. But is it really unexpected if you're expecting it? And if so, then why would it be expected? Point is, I've expected millions of things that are unexpected. I expect to get shot, maimed, strangled, stabbed, and an array of other things all the time. They never happen. Now, something I never would have expected….kinda happened. If I'd been expecting it then it wouldn't have happened right? If someone told me two months ago that I would be in some sort of relationship with Rufus Shinra, I probably would have kicked their ass for lying. But no one need get an ass kicking now because it seems like it's sorta true. I can't wait to see him again actually. I'm still confused.

Seeing him again will have to wait though because after I left work, Reno, Rude, I, and Sara went out together. So it was something of a double date—with no one dating. We were going to go to a bar but after much complaining from Sara and me, Reno was forced to compromise. Now we were at a nice, casual place called Anya and Bee's that was something of a Bar and Grill restaurant. At least here, I didn't have to worry about having a hangover the next day.

We got a table nestled in a corner by a window that overlooked a nearby bridge leading to another part of the city. Sara was sitting on the other side of me, Reno in front of her and Rude across from me. I am happy with the arrangement and Reno hadn't started hitting on Sara, yet. Or maybe he was hitting on her but I hadn't noticed. _I _was busy watching car headlights go by in a steady stream, but I had one ear open to the conversation they were having. Reno, Sara, and Rude were talking about explosives. Well, Rude wasn't actually doing much talking but that was normal for him. It was I, who I'm sure was getting silent scrutiny for not talking as much.

It's weird how that works but I couldn't really eat right now. My mind was on Rufus and I was extremely anxious for no apparent reason. Every now and then my eyes would leave the bridge and go to the ShinRa headquarters in the distance looking like a big and imposing shadow. Hard to believe that only about seven hours ago that I'd been up in Rufus Shinra's office discussing _possibilities._

"Elena?" a voice said.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over at Sara, she pointed to Reno, and he was watching me expectantly.

"Huh?"

Reno tapped his chin and glanced over the busy restaurant briefly. "You're acting weird tonight."

"You got my attention to tell me _that_?" I laughed softly and spun the straw around my half-full glass of punch. "How am I acting weird?"

"Simple. A slightly less weird 'Laney would have eaten her Briscotta burger and ordered seconds already and she'd be talking a whole lot. So tell me, yo. What's up?" Reno leaned back in his chair with a smug expression. His blue eyes focused on me, humor jumped around behind his eyes.

"What's up?" I shrugged. "Nothing, except that you're insane." I rolled my eyes in a way that I hoped was nonchalant. The last thing they needed to know was that I was taken. Well...kind of taken. Actually..I'm not sure what I am with Rufus. He didn't actually ask me if I wanted to be in a serious relationship he said something close but rather elusive. Drat. And here I was thinking I'd actually gotten somewhere. I'd have to ask him about it later. Wait...what was Reno asking me? Oh...yeah...

"Obviously. C'mon 'Laney. You're our buddy aren'tcha?" Reno flashed a devilish grin.

"Well...yeah...but..."

"You're very introspective, Reno. You seem to know her very well. How long have you known each other?"

Sara looked from me to Reno and back again. Thank the Ancients for Sara Lorcan, right now. There was no way Reno would overlook the chance to use his powers of persuasion on Sara.

His grin became a full-on smirk. It was very cat-like and mischievous, I could just see hidden motives written all under his convincingly hot pseudo-charm. He leaned toward Sara, so close that any move would make their noses touch. I exchanged a glance with Rude.

"..."

"I know right." I mouthed in agreement.

"Not very long." he glanced over at me. "But in the Turks we're just like one big dysfunctional family."

Rude and I chuckled.

Reno continued. "I would love to get to know you as well as I know them, too." he put his hand over hers.

"Um.."

Poor Sara. Getting hit on around all of these people. I guess it was only a matter of time. Her cheeks glowed red beneath her pretty golden brown skin. I couldn't tell if she was flustered or just embarrassed.

"Well..I guess." Sara used her free hand to pry his off and looked over at me.

" Hey, you should go for it. Bring a knife if he gets too frisky." I leaned over and muttered warm-heartedly in her ear.

"How about this weekend?" Reno prompted. He knew he'd already won her over.

"Sure." Sara poked at the remains of her food.

I envy Sara, now. Not because she's going on a date with Reno but because she didn't freak out about it and turn into a babbling pile of goo. I also envy Reno for being so confident about the way he can just ask out any pretty girl without having a panic attack.

"Great. Since that's done." Reno turned his attention to me. "Tell me what's got you all weird, Elena."

Damn. Relentless Reno.

"Excuse me, guys." Sara rose from the table and smoothed a hand over her skirt. "I'll be back."

"Alright."I smiled.

"I'll be back." She repeated, she seemed a little flustered. I gave her a sympathetic smile.

We watched her head to the other side of the restaurant where I'm sure the bathrooms were located.

"Damn, she's hot." Reno muttered almost to himself, taking a drink of the brown substance in his glass. It was tea this time. Perhaps he knew that ordering alcohol here wasn't the key to a girl's heart. At least not a girl like Sara's. "But something is off about her."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"I dunno. It's hard to put my finger on." Reno looked over at Rude. "You know what I mean, big guy?"

"Hmm." Rude agreed.

"Or maybe you two are just crazy?" I suggested and sprinkled my fries in a little more salt.

"Maybe." Reno waved it off. "So tell me why you're acting weird."

"Can we just drop it?"

"No. C'mon 'Laney."

"Fine." I sighed in defeat. It wouldn't hurt to give them the gist of it. "The guy I was telling you about ...well..I took your advice..." I shrugged and tried to keep a neutral expression. "...he and I kinda--"I gestured.

Reno gasped and clutched his heart, for a second I thought he was having an attack. "You fucked him in your office?! 'Laney say it ain't so!"

"What?! No you idiot! I'm his -" I trailed off. Girlfriend? Um..no. "It's hard to explain. We're going to talk about it later. We were...interrupted."

Reno looked smug. "You're so easy to ruffle. I bet if you were about to get tortured you'd be the first one to tell everything that they wanted to know and then some, before they even hit ya."

Dang. One of these days I'm going to beat Reno at his little reverse psychology game.

"No, I wouldn't!" I protested. "I personally think I'd be able to keep my mouth shut no matter how bad the pain got."

"Sure you would." Reno rolled his eyes, his tone was dripping with sarcasm. "Anyway." he perked up. "Now can we know who this guy is? This is a little unexpected, Elena." Reno drained the rest of his third glass of tea.

"Expect the unexpected, they always say." I shrugged. "I don't think telling you who he is, is in my best interest. I'm still not..really..convinced it happened."

"That what happened?"

Sara had returned and slid into her seat.

"Elena's got herself a man." Reno rolled his eyes. "And won't tell us who."

"Oh."Sara moved the ice around her glass. "That's nice." She sounded a little put out.

After that I paid a lot more attention to my briscotta burger. Reno finally lost interest in my love life and went about talking to Rude and Sara. I threw in comments every now and then when it was appropriate...

The string of traffic on the bridge got lighter until only a few cars passed by at intervals. The din at the restaurant got softer until it was only us left and it was near closing time.

"Man, it's late." Reno stretched and rubbed his eyes. "Who knew sobriety was so much fun."

There was a collective laugh. Reno would take a long time to get drunk anyway but we know—other than Sara—how 'fun' Reno could get once he was under the influence.

"It really is." Sara played with the fork in her empty glass.

"Well, we should get going. We all have work in the morning." I cast a sleepy glance out of the window towards the ShinRa building.

Reno called the only waitress left on duty. The woman had already taken off her black apron and looked like she had a bad day. While Reno talked to her, I dug into my pocket and took out several Gil for a tip. Sara and Rude did the same.

"Alright. Give me a moment." The woman left to get our bill.

"I just want to curl up and go to sleep." I stifled a yawn. And maybe fantasize a little...

The waitress returned with our bill. We paid, left a very generous tip, and went our separate ways. Good thing we'd all came in our own vehicles.

When I got home, I mustered up enough energy to take a shower and climbed into bed. Even though I'm exhausted, it took me a while to finally begin falling asleep. I can't stop thinking about Rufus and the conversation I'd had with him. He'd asked me if I'd wanted to continue 'this'. By 'this' did he mean a relationship?

* * *

--

* * *

_**Goodwitch08: I'm sorry I did not update sooner. My internet connection was destroyed after a storm fried my Network Interface Card (NIC) so I had to get it fixed. I've had this chapter, and the next sitting in my files just a-waiting. Anyway! I want to ask of you what I always ask of you: please leave a review, how else will I know what you thought?**_


	13. Hypothetically

* * *

**Chapter 13**

_**Hypothetically**_

* * *

Today has been fine enough I guess. But then again, I should be worried. If a day is going fine, or normal, something out of the ordinary usually happens or something negative. The negative has already happened right? I mean...Reno and Rude did some pretty stupid shit today already that almost made me lose an eye. It wasn't their faults though. Either way, all I wanted to do was go back to my office and get back to work, after a very eventful weapons training session, silently working in my office seemed like a very good idea. Now, all I had to look for was something out of the ordinary. With that thought in mind, I headed up the stairs--no elevators for me--and made it halfway down the hall before someone's voice stopped me.

"Elena, come here." Tseng called out from his office, the door was open.

I wonder what he wants?

"Uh…alright, sir." I turned around and ran a hand through my hair, almost without thought.

I stood at the threshold and looked in. His office was bigger than mine, Reno's, and Rude's but mine was easily the smallest. It was neatly organized but not up until the point where a person began to wonder if the occupant had a bit of an OCD problem. Tseng was looking out of the window with his back turned, his long black hair hung straight and loose behind him. I opened my mouth to get his attention but waited, instead, until he addressed me which, after a moment, he finally did.

"Elena, are you busy?" he asked. He asked me this often, and it really didn't matter if I said yes or no because I'd do whatever he'd wanted me too anyway. So I always said 'no'.

"Not really sir, I just returned from another 'weapons training' session. Reno and Rude nearly shot each other with the new gun that the Weapons Department created. They said it was actually a very small prototype for something else." I remained at the threshold, wondering if he'd explain to me what the Weapons Department meant by that.

Everything seemed to be kept silent from me these days didn't they? I knew there was stuff going on but I didn't really know exactly what was going on unless it was necessary for an assignment. I usually got the gist of it. I'm guessing this has something to do with that little mistake I'd made on my first assignment when I told Cloud and his friends exactly what we were doing, why, and where. And here I was thinking I'd lived that down.

He muttered something to himself before addressing me.

"Good. I want you to take this down to the Reeve, the head of the Department of Urban Development." He turned around and gestured towards a thick sealed envelope sitting against his computer's monitor.

"Oh, okay sir. I'd be happy to." I entered his office and took the document off of the desk. It was surprisingly light to say it looked so heavy. "I'll be back soon with any response from Reeve, sir." I gave him a small smile and began to leave the room.

"Elena, are you okay?"

I blinked and stopped in my tracks. "What, sir?"

What kind of question is that? Did I look pale? Did I have odd green blotches growing on my skin? Am I stumbling? Is my skin suddenly pallid and sweaty? Do I look like I'm about to swoon?

"Hmm, never mind." He seemed a little uncertain still, I could hear it in his tone.

"Really sir, I'm fine." I laughed softly; it was mostly an uncomfortable laugh. He stared at me for a moment and looked as if he wanted to say something. Something told me that hadn't been what he was going to ask me at first.

"Okay. That'll be all, Elena." Tseng turned back to the window. "You're doing a great job, by the way."

My cheeks flushed. "Thank you, sir."

Leaving his office rather quickly, I reminded myself that I was over Tseng. I really had to be, honestly. I knew it'd never get anywhere and besides who gave me the right to like two people at the same time? I can't just have a relapse every time he throws a little compliment my way about how my work might be improving and how I seem to be keeping Reno and Rude in check instead of the other way around. Well...it makes me happy. It's okay to be happy about something. I worked hard anyway, but getting praise every once in a while was just a bit of a perk. Just because I might blush a little and thank him doesn't necessarily mean I want him anymore. 'Cause I don't. He doesn't even really want anything to do with me unless its work related, so that's how it'll stay. Or so I tell myself.

I am trying really hard to sort that one out. It's really hard when two very good-looking men are involved, even if one of them didn't know he was involved. Or maybe he did. Sometimes, I wonder if Tseng is aware of my random school-girl crush on him and he just acts like he doesn't notice. He is a very perceptive person, I'm sure my incessant odd laughs and staring raised quite a few red herrings every once in a while. Thankfully, now I was keeping myself in check with that. A little. Crushes apparently didn't end in a day.

I hadn't ever actually been down to the Department of Urban development but once before. What did they even do in the Department of Urban Development? From the title I would knew that they had something to do with the design of the city but I could be wrong. The Department of Administrative Research has a title that is quite misleading, so this title could be too. Though, I doubted it.

I stopped at the first circulation desk I saw, a dark haired woman was sitting there, watching me as I entered with her almond brown eyes. I gave her a smile, making my way up to her.

"Hello miss; I'm here to see Reeve." I smiled.

She frowned. This woman was oddly familiar.

"Reeve's office is at the end of the next hall, you can't miss it." The woman answered….in a rich masculine voice. 'She' rolled her eyes.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I thought you..." I looked around, hoping no one heard my mistake. No one else was around but a bored looking man near a water-cooler.

"Happens all the time." He waved it away.

"I'm sorry…um…what's your name?"

By now I should be used to the effeminates, I'm around them all the time, but he was one extreme. Now that I was directly in front of him, there were minuscule hints at his masculinity hidden beneath his soft feminine features.

His phone rang; he gave me a look and answered it. I let it go and went over his directions once in my head. There was no sense in irritating him more, I guess, I'd already called him a woman twice. Leaving him there, I left without another word and headed down the hall and then the next.

Surely enough, after a few minutes, I came upon the office that was surely to be Reeve's. I knew this because of two reasons: One, it had his name on the door and his title beneath it, and two, the door was open and he was sitting at his desk working on something in deep concentration. I stood at the threshold in silence for a moment and watched him work. Something was very odd about what he was working on. It was a machine…no a robot. It was a black and white cat lying on its back and he had a screwdriver in its stomach, he seemed to be tweaking something.

"..That looks just like the cat I saw in Gongaga with Cloud and his friends. But it was sitting on top of a pink Moogle and it talked with quite an accent." I said before I could catch myself.

Reeve looked up, he seemed surprised that I was standing there, but then a small warm smile crossed his features. Reeve is a handsome man, with a goatee and a nice fashion sense; it was hard to tell if it was his uniform or if he'd just chosen to dress like that. He seemed to be very nice, or at least patient and not quick to anger.

"You must be Elena."

I nodded. "Tseng sent me."

"Come in." he waved me in.

"Of course, sir." I entered his office and looked around. Other than a few things here or there that were out of place, he had a nice office. It seemed to have his own personal touch to it. Once again, it was much _much_ bigger than mine…but I noticed it wasn't exactly as spacious as Tseng's.

"I'm Reeve Tuesti, we were never properly introduced." He shook my free hand before going back to tinkering with the Cait Sith.

"Yeah, I've heard of you, sir. Nice to meet you, sir. I never really got to meet any of the heads of Department…so I just meet them when I run into them. I wasn't given a 'ceremonial' entrance, because I was made a Turk so fast after Reno got hurt during that Sector 7 incident. I was actually supposed to be temporary, I think. But now I'm not, they just can't get enough of me I'm sure." I slapped myself on the head. "I'm sorry I'm talking too much, again. Here sir…" I placed the mysterious file on his desk.

"Thank you. Your talking is no problem at all. I like hearing what others have to say." Reeve picked up the envelope and opened it. He put his hand under the seal and a small CD slid from it and into his palm. "Thank you again, Elena."

"You're welcome, sir." I nodded and left the room. I really wanted to stay behind and watch him work on that cat but I knew that was unprofessional. I left his office.

I like Reeve. Not like that! I like him as a person. He seems really nice. As I left his office I couldn't help but feel like he was a tad bit out of place here at ShinRa. I expected all of the executives to be cold, heartless, sadistic, slightly psychotic or have a mean streak out of this world. Or all of the above. Good thing I'm wrong.

When I reached my floor again, I stopped at Tseng's office, his door was shut. I knocked once before he opened the door. He didn't seem surprised that I was the one standing there. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked up at him.

"Reeve told me to tell you 'thank you', sir." I said. I ran my fingers across the keys in my pockets and tapped my foot on the floor. Realizing what I was doing, I stopped the foot tapping.

"Elena, come in for a moment. I want to have a word with you." Tseng frowned.

A word? What did he mean by a word? People usually said that when they wanted to be confrontational about something or another. Maybe I should go back to my office. Ha, who am I kidding? Tseng asked me into his office, so I have to go in his office.

"Oh...okay sir."

Tseng turned around and went back inside. I followed, uncertainly. There was an air about this whole thing that didn't seem like whatever he was going to say really had anything to do with work directly. Whatever he'd wanted to say before he sent me to Reeve, he must have gotten the nerve to say it now within those twenty minutes. I closed the door behind me, as he instructed, and took a seat in one of the two chairs on the opposite side of his desk. He, however, did not sit down. He instead walked slowly across his office, back and forth.

"Elena, at first I felt it was none of my business but really, I think it is." he started and paused for a moment.

I shifted around in the seat, propping my arm up on the back of the chair and watched him curiously. What was he talking about?

"Excuse me, sir. What are you talking …about?" I began to bite my bottom lip. I was a little confused. I wish he would just come out and say whatever he's thinking, he's usually blunt about most things...or at least very frank.

Tseng sighed and leaned against the wall, keeping his eyes on me, he frowned slightly. "Elena, is there something going on between you and Rufus?"

I was silent. I did not expect him to say that at all. What was I supposed to say to that? He'd know if I were lying! This was the last thing I wanted, and from all people! Ironic, no? My palms began to get a little wet, but I didn't dare rub them against my uniform. He would know exactly what I was going to deny if I did that. Finally, I decided to answer him before he demanded it.

"What do you mean, sir?" I tried to keep eye contact with him. "What do you mean by that?"

Tseng pushed some of his hair from his face. "If there is, something going on, you need to tell me." he crossed his arms.

"Why? Sir?" I didn't have time to stop myself from questioning him, but I was curious. How would he have even come to that conclusion?

He frowned. "Because, Elena, if there is, this could put your job in jeopardy as well as the well being of the company and the President as well. You can't start falling in love with someone you are supposed to protect—"

"I'm not in love, sir." It wasn't a lie, actually. I didn't even know what love felt like so how would I be in love? "Excuse me, for interrupting you, sir…but there isn't anything going on."

Tseng's expression softened slightly. "Are you sure?"

No.

"Yes, sir. Of course I'm sure, sir. Why…would you think that?"

"That's not important. If you say you're not then, I'll just have to take your word for it. Watch yourself, though, Elena." He lowered his tone as if he didn't want anyone that might be listening to hear, other than myself.

"Why, sir?"

"Because, Rufus…" he trailed off. "It's not my place to say or pass judgment. You can go now; I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No…sir, please, tell me what you were about to say."

Tseng gave me an odd look. He left the wall and came around me, to sit at his desk finally. I turned around in the chair and sat correctly, with my hands resting in my lap. There was an uncomfortable silence; I glanced out of the window and back at him. Was he going to tell me or not? I really wanted to know, this might actually help me understand what was going on so far.

He sighed, finally, and ran a hand through his raven colored hair, causing it to fall in a way that framed his face nicely. "Elena, Rufus Shinra is in a position of power and he definitely knows how to use it. If he saw something in you, that interests him—hypothetically of course—he could easily use his status over you to his advantage-" he stopped.

"And, sir?" I frowned slightly.

"Rufus is very charming, clever, charismatic, and manipulative—"

"I know…" I muttered under my breath. Of course he is manipulative but what did that have to do with me? '_Hypothetically'_?

_Where was this going? I do not like where this is going._

"—and he could very well be using that on you. You are serious to a fault as well as naïve, innocent, and very much like an open book--"

"I'm not _that_ naïve, sir." My tone was a bit defensive, was getting a bit irritated. I could feel it coming. I did not like being told that I was childlike or naïve. I have enough sense to know if someone's lying to me. Besides, Rufus would have no reason to manipulate me because my attraction to him was all on my own. You can't control someone's feelings. How could Tseng be implying something like that? Even if it was _hypothetical_? I'd like to think that he was just being a prick right now because he was slightly jealous and wanted me all to himself.

"Elena..." Tseng didn't seem convinced.

"With all due respect, sir, I am not naïve. Nor am I 'innocent'. It's not like I'm five years old. You are making it sound like-- hypothetically—of course, that Rufus is some wolf and I'm a little innocent lamb that's about to skip into a trap."

"Elena..." that tendency to rattle off at the mouth and talk a little too much was getting the better of me.

"…Or maybe like I'm some happy girl dancing in flowers that suddenly get's stabbed to death in a dark alley..."

"Elena..."

"I think it is mighty rude of you to judge him and think he has ulterior motives. Is it such a weird occurrence that I'd be called up to his office? I mean I _do_ work here, I don't see how that is weird. I know I'm just some dumb rookie, sir, you don't need to point it out—hypothetically…"

"Elena."

"I'm not some idiot that thinks the world is all nice and happy and that no one would seek to do me harm or hurt my feelings. I also don't think you have the right to bother me about something that has nothing to do with you...I mean just because I've been to Rufus' office once or twice doesn't mean I'm about to become his office whore and sleep with him on his desk during lunch breaks. I mean, sir, don't you think you're being a little--"

"_Elena._" He said a little more forcefully.

I flinched at the sound of his voice. I hadn't realized he'd been trying to get me to stop ranting. I stared at my lap silently. My surprising burst of irritation faded away as quickly as it had come.

"I'm sorry, sir…" I barely opened my mouth.

"Why are you so defensive?" he muttered almost to himself. I did not answer because I don't think he was actually talking to me.

Why was I defending Rufus, anyway? I'm sure he could take care of himself. Everything Tseng had said…probably was a little true. At least, where Rufus' character was concerned, I'm quite certain he could be very manipulative. But he hadn't acted like that with me or maybe, like Tseng said—hypothetically—I was just too naïve to realize it. I dunno..I can't believe I just got my feathers ruffled right at my superior. Talk about unexpected. I wasn't expecting him to call me back into his office about this and I wasn't expecting to get testy about it.

"Its okay, Elena." Tseng's tone was very level and calm.

"No...no it's not, sir. I shouldn't have done that and I shouldn't have kept interrupting you, I'm sure you only have my best interest in mind, and that of the company. I just tend to ramble on and on. I just got…I guess irritated because I felt like you were assuming something that's not true …but...I'm sorry, sir-"

Tseng held up a hand. I fell silent.

"We'll act as if that never happened." He tucked his hair back from his face.

"Yes, sir."

"But…."

"Sir?"

"If you ever talk to me like that again, you will have to be reprimanded." his words were not to be taken lightly.

My face flushed with embarrassment. How could I have gotten myself into trouble for flying off at the mouth? That was Reno's job to piss Tseng off with his rudeness, not mine. I nodded.

"Sir." I said softly.

"You can go now. We have board meeting soon; we will have to be present." He dismissed me, impersonally.

"Yes, sir." I rose from the chair and headed for the door. Opening it, a sigh escaped my lips; I realized I hadn't been breathing for the past few minutes. _That_ was unexpected. Before I shut the door I heard Tseng mutter something that sounded like it was along the lines of "That got way out of hand."

"Sure did." I muttered to myself, closing his door completely. I leaned against the wall near his office and ran my hands through my hair. "Sure did…"

"'Laney? What's up?"

I opened my eyes; standing across the hall was Reno with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth and a lighter in one hand. The little smile he had on his face slowly changed into an expression that can only be described as concerned. Did I really look as bad as I felt right now? Then again...I'm an 'open book' so I guess he could tell I wasn't in my typical 'Elena mood'.

"Nothing really…" I smiled bleakly. "…Tseng just had a 'word' with me." I shrugged noncommittally.

"A word, huh?" Reno took the cigarette out of his mouth and crossed the hall to me, raising his hand to knock—or bang—on Tseng's door. "How about I have a word with him about why he has you looking ready to get all girly on me and sob uncontrollably?"

"What?! No!" I pushed him away from the door. "I'm fine, Reno." I eyed his cigarette. "Didn't the President make a new 'no smoking inside' policy?"

"Yeah...I think he did it just to spite me." he rolled his eyes. "I have to go give Rufus a piece of my mind about that. I'm going to go outside and smoke this, actually." He spun the cigarette around like a baton between his index and middle finger.

"Oh…well I'm going to get back to research..."

"No you're not." Reno put an arm around my shoulder and nestled me against his chest, warmly. "You're coming outside with me so we can have a little chat." He rocked me from side to side.

"What? No we're not! I wanted to get into that research...you know we have a lot to crack down on—"

"Don't care. C'mon, a few moments out of your work life wouldn't be the death of you."

Before could protest, I was whisked away.

* * *

There was yet another area that I had never been to. It was a nice little balcony of sorts complete with a railing. It overlooked the city far below and the air was a bit cooler up here. The sky, even though it was a bit depressing looking, was even kind of nice to look at right now. A few splashes of gold could be seen through the dark clouds, signaling that the sun was beginning to set. Reno was leaning against the railing with one foot propped against it. He was smoking his cigarette with his silently. His ponytail hung over the other side of the railing like a flaming snake swinging in the wind. I, on the other hand, was sitting on the railing with my back against the wall of the building; far enough away to avoid smelling that cigarette smoke and close enough to talk to him.

Reno blew out another stream of smoke and tapped the cigarette against the railing; little ashes fell down towards the earth. "So, Elena, tell me what's up."

"Do you really want to know?" I asked skeptically, I didn't see Reno as the type that would like to listen to them. My problems, that is.

"Course, I do 'Laney. You're my sister now, and other than that, I just think that hot girls shouldn't look so glum." He responded casually, putting his cigarette back into his mouth.

"You think I'm hot?" I raised an eyebrow, a smile tugged at my lips.

"You must don't own any mirrors at your house." Reno laughed softly lightly.

My cheeks burned in spite of myself. I just can't take a compliment without blushing can I? It's not like I want Reno too now, even if he is very good looking. Reno's just Reno, he has this way of making anyone blush with the things he can say sometimes.

"Well..." I shrugged, eying the light at the end of his cigarette. It flickered as he inhaled. "Hey….does Rude hate that? Your smoking? Since you two are inseparable, I'm sure the subject comes up….right?"

Reno shrugged and inhaled some smoke in the shape of a ring. "He's never complained about it so I can only assume y'know?" he put the half-gone cigarette to his lips. "You sure you don't want one?" there was a hint of teasing underneath his tone. He knew I'd probably cough up a lung if I did that.

"Haha...no. I almost coughed up an unborn child once when I attempted to smoke one of my Father's cigars. Which...Y'know he never actually smoked them himself except for during holidays-"I stared out at the setting sun hidden by the clouds. "Reno, how's Sara doing?"

What better way to avoid talking about what just happened with Tseng than to bring up his new lady?

"Sara?" Reno chuckled and threw his cigarette off of the balcony. "I'm sooo glad you are her friend, this way you can put in several good words for me."

"…."

"Cruel. Anyway, after weapons training, I arranged a place for our date and then we exchanged cell numbers. I asked her if she had any friends or sisters that Rude could date…" he rubbed his right shoulder and frowned for a moment. "Rude punches harder than you'd think."

I laughed; I would have paid serious Gil to see Rude almost knock Reno's shoulder out of place. "I do too. I'm sure you deserved getting hit by him."

We were quiet for a moment. Just like with Rude, it was a very comfortable silence. He quietly flicked his black metal lighter open and closed, the sound floated through the air. I shifted my weight on the banister while chewing on my bottom lip. A short burst of wind floated past us, my hair blew in my face while Reno's moved only slightly, giving it the appearance of a dancing flame for a moment. He shifted positions so that he was facing the horizon. The setting sun's glow hit his fair skin and made his eyes seem very bright.

"Reno?" I picked at my fingernails, at this rate they'd never grow out.

"Sup?"

"Do you ever feel………well….incompetent?"

"Explain." He looked over at me while constantly clicking that lighter on and off.

"..I dunno." I shrugged. "Sometimes I just feel a little...like no matter how hard I work...I can never even do halfway as good as I feel like I could. My work is hardly ever even noticed, I feel like sometimes, y'know. And…I work so hard Reno, I really do. I stay late most nights to finish up work instead of leaving it for the next day, I am always available when I'm needed and sometimes I even offer to help when no one asks me to and stuff-"

"Elena, how many times do I have to tell you that anyone that gives themselves up for a job is a fool?" Reno's smile was gone.

"…so I must be one big fool huh?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying you can't expect praise for everything you do, it don't work that way. You are not five and this is not some kindergarten. And you can't please everyone, Elena. Don't run yourself crazy trying to keep up with everything." He stopped clicking his lighter open. "Let me give you some words of wisdom..."

I leaned forward with interest. Words of Wisdom from Reno?

"Laissez Faire." Reno said calmly, looking very proud.

"….what?"

"You don't know what that means?" his eyes widened like I was a little stupid.

"Of course I do! I'm asking you _why _that is your words of wisdom."

Reno crossed his arms, leaning against the banister again. "Look, Laney, when I'm off duty it doesn't matter who in the hell calls me from here. It could be Rufus himself and I would not budge. Want to know why?"

"..Because you're a lazy S.O.B.?"

"No, hardly. I do what's expected of me and I take my job seriously-"

I raised an eyebrow.

"—hey don't give me that look. I really do."

Both eyebrows rose.

"Fuck you, Elena. Fuck you." He scoffed. "Anyway, what I'm saying is, if I'm not on the clock then there is no way in hell I'm coming to work. Work is a world all its own Elena, you shouldn't let it rule your life, you'll just be wasting your time." He finished in a wise but self-satisfied tone.

I was silent. I guess he was right about that. But I wouldn't call myself a workaholic, I don't obsess about work all day long on weekends...I just…like to do a good job. Right?

"I guess you're right." I shrugged.

"I am. Don't make yourself expendable but don't make yourself a damn doormat, either." He looked off at the horizon again.

I nodded and eyed the darkening sky as well. Reno is making a lot of sense; I can't say I'm not surprised. Usually he just says off -hand things at random moments that are disgusting, perverted, lewd, rude, or sarcastic forty-five percent of the time. The rest of the time he's silently observing people in that weird way of his or talking about other things. I didn't know he could be so …introspective. I guess he's got layers too, like an onion. Everyone has layers, like an onion, I guess. That's what I was trying to make Tseng understand! Just because Rufus might be a cold, callous, arrogant, manipulative, and controlling leader doesn't mean he's like that all the time. Right? Or am I sounding a lot like that girl that is in complete denial because she's got hearts in her eyes? Ehh...

"I'll think on that, Reno."

"You remind me of your sister, you both can get pret-_ty _serious about work."

I frowned. "I remind you of my sister?"

"Yeah! The hair even almost looks the same. But yeah..." he trailed off. "…If it's any consolation, your similarities begin and end there." He tried to assure me.

"Because unlike her, I'm incompetent?" I got off of the banister and leaned against the wall, staring at the ground. Can't even escape comparison with Reno, huh? I like to forget that they used to work with her, before she—

"Of course not, you two are just...different." he said airily. "You are looking waaay too deep into what I said, yo."

Maybe he's right. Since we're on the subject I might as well ask him opinion about something else as well. "Reno…am I naïve?

Reno didn't answer me; he sat on the ground with his back against the railings and looked up at the sky without blinking. I repeated my question.

"Define naïve." He merely said.

Was he avoiding the question?

"Reno…"

"By some definition it means inexperienced…so yes, you are a bit naïve when it comes to the job. As a person, I couldn't answer that." He said while blowing at the flame on his lighter. The fire flickered but stayed on.

"Oh." That didn't sound as bad as Tseng had made it sound. Then again, he wasn't using the word in a professional sense; he meant that I was inexperienced with relationships and maybe life in general. "Well...Reno...I would get more experience if we did more. So far I haven't seen any real action, and I haven't even got to fight yet, and fiends do not count. I didn't get to fight Cloud and his friends with you guys…I've been a Turk for long enough, I think that I should be able to fight. I just can't wait until something big happens so that I can feel a little more useful."

"You should be glad." He said, his tone slightly brooding. "Trust me; you'll get what you're asking for sooner or later. The current situation with Sephiroth and all that and Cloud and his friends interfering with us and all that, it probably isn't going to end squeaky clean. So you'll probably get your wish." He shrugged, tossing the lighter into the air and catching it.

"Yeah…you're right."

We sat in silence again for a moment.

"So, what did Tseng say to you to have you looking all angry and depressed, huh?" his tone was curious and light again.

"Well..." I sighed, lifting myself from the railing and sitting down beside him. "He...called me naïve…"

"Ahh..."

"And he...well...it was so...stupid really. He called me into his office after I had delivered a CD to Reeve from the Urban Development Department for him. He sat me down and demanded to know if I was dating anyone because it could "turn out to be a problem" for the company and everything…."

"He's just jealous." Reno interrupted my rant.

"Doubt that, highly. Why would he call me into his office for something like petty jealousy? He claimed he was worried about my well being as well as the company's." I guess I am not completely over that conversation, I could feel my face getting hot with resentment. I did forgive Tseng though, really. If I hadn't gotten psychotic, he wouldn't have had to practically yell at me to settle me down.

"So did you tell him where to get off?"

"No. I got a little out of hand though...made an allusion towards being an office slut and I was a bit sarcastic and irritated." I stared at my shadow.

"Oh that's nothing, you're too hard on yourself, doll. So..." he poked me on the shoulder. "Who was the guy he accused you of wanting to screw?"

"Guess." I sighed softly and looked up at the sky.

"Reeve?"

"What?"

"Guess not." He rubbed his chin. "Heidegger?"

"Ewww!"

"Um….Sara?"

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I rolled my eyes. "Men..."

"Um...ooh I know! Hojo!"

"I'm going to kill you." I pretended to reach for my gun.

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay okay. Just tell me."

I rolled my eyes again. "He never accused me of wanting to sleep with anybody..." I bit my nails. "He just accused me of...well...having some secret love affair going on with Rufus Shinra."

I looked over at Reno for a reaction. He was quiet and his eyes wide.

"Uh...Reno? Did you hear me? He accused me of having a secret love affair with Rufus Shinra just because I went to his office twice—"

"HAHAHHAHAHAH!!" Reno's loud and addictive laughter filled the air. I had never heard him laugh like this before, I wouldn't be surprised if tears of mirth streamed down his face and he clutched his side. "Tseng must have been smoking crack on that one!!"

Okay now I'm offended. "What's so funny?!" I gave him my best 'not amused' face. Reno caught glimpse of my expression and tried to stop laughing. I waited for his laughter to become fading chuckles. He wiped his eyes, though they still twinkled with glee.

"What's funny?" I demanded.

"C'mon now, Elena." He laughed softly, his small frame shook with another session of suppressed laughter."You and Rufus? I just couldn't even see that happening...I can't see you two together. Tseng was high."

"Why couldn't you see us together_? Hypothetically_?" I hoped I didn't seem too concerned with my question.

Reno shrugged. "You're just so'Elena' and he's just so 'Rufus'. It just …nooooo I couldn't see that happening."

"How very eloquent. I'm just so 'Elena' and he's just so 'Rufus', huh?" I nibbled my bottom lip. What is being so 'Elena', anyway!?

"I know." He chuckled softly.

I fought the urge to put my fist in his mouth. "So...anyway...what does that mean?"

"Well..." Reno laughed to himself softly. "You're so open and warm and secretly a dominatrix—"

"Reno!"

"Okay okay. You're just so different from him in the personality. I could see him dating some big -breasted—"he glanced down.

I crossed my arms over my chest. They might not be huge like some people but they weren't acorns either.

"—tall-"

"I'm not short."

"But you're not 6'1 either."

"Why would he want an Amazon woman? Who wants their girlfriend to be as tall as they are, if not taller?!" I scoffed. "Continue..."

"Anyway, Miss Defensive, I see him dating someone that looks more like a trophy-wife. Y'know the big fake chest, sexy body, long beautiful hair–"

"Stupid logic...stupid trophy wife…"

"—not someone who's just cute and average." Reno shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, Elena, you're good looking but yeah...I just couldn't see it. Not to mention…honestly I couldn't see him with a woman at all."

"You think he's gay?" I frowned at the possibility. An image of Tseng and Rufus kissing almost entered my mind. "Bah! Continue..." I really didn't want him to finish but I did at the same time. It did hurt a little that he didn't see Rufus wanting someone as average as I am but...

"Naw, not this time. I say that, because I can't really see him with anyone. He's cold towards people, doesn't smile often—unless of course it's a coveted self-satisfied smirk--which I love to do myself every once in a while—he doesn't actually seem to enjoy other people's company unless it's necessary, and he's a bit distant, I mean how often does he actually come and chat with all of his little worker ants? Hardly, he's usually in his office if he's not in a meeting or something, right? And then not to mention high-maintenance. I couldn't see him dating anyone...especially not any one person. They'd reeeeally have to get under his skin for him to even look twice at them." Reno looked at me from the corner of his eye.

I looked away silently. That was a bit true...but…Rufus _is _interested in me, so Reno's theory isn't exactly flawless. Right? But...how did I manage to '"get under his skin"?

"You think so?" I asked casually, I couldn't let him see that it was getting to me.

"Yeah, but hey, I could be wrong. Everyone apparently has "layers", right? Who says the side that I usually see isn't the side that he has when he's not busy controlling the world?"

"I guess…"

Reno stood up suddenly and stretched. "Well, let's go get back to work before Tseng comes out here and thinks we're making babies." Reno joked sarcastically.

I smiled slightly, in spite of the thoughts rushing through my head, and stood up as well. Together we reentered the building and went back into our separate offices.

* * *

I decided to stay in my office after the board meeting and do some research for ShinRa and a little extra work as well. Reno wouldn't give me his work though this time and neither did Rude. Either way, by the time I looked up from my computer screen, it was very dark outside of my window and inside my office. The only thing that provided light for me was my computer's monitor. Other than working, I was thinking about none other than Rufus Shinra.

My thoughts were going around in a circle once again. I wanted to know more about him and his personal interest in me, I had to find a reason to talk to him alone and find out if I'm really his type. I could ask him, I guess. Asking him was one thing but would he actually answer me? Then that whole Tseng thing earlier, I can't believe how he virtually hit the nail directly on the head; at least he didn't seem to talk about it anymore. He visited me in my office before he left for the night, to make sure I was fine with it and there wouldn't be a problem. But what if Reno and Tseng were both right? I definitely have to find out, I don't like not knowing. Speculation isn't one of my favorite pastimes.

"What time is it..." my eyes were tired and strained and my fingers ached badly. I checked the clock at the bottom of my screen. "…wow...it's almost midnight..." I stared at the time, willing it to go backward. No such luck.

Getting up from my desk, I stretched my aching joints buttoned up my suit jacket. I should definitely be getting home right now, there was probably hardly anyone else here—though the ShinRa building was never really completely empty of course—and I wasn't very fond of being on some of these floors alone. I'm not a superstitious person but I have heard odd things on this floor in particular sometimes.

I yawned and flipped the switch on. I closed my eyes and opened them slowly, the sudden light made them hurt. I flipped the switch off. I cut the monitor off, leaving the computer running, and left my office. I closed the door behind me and listened to it lock from the inside. There was actually more than one reason for me to stay behind at this hour. I'd planned, during the board meeting to linger until everyone had left other than Rufus, and then I was going to…ask him _something_. That plan didn't work out because he was not the last person to leave and Tseng was watching me intently, even though he didn't say a word. Well...actually I'm not sure he was watching me, I am assuming he was because I felt a tense and uncomfortable air throughout the room and it wasn't because Reno kept whispering to me about what he thought me and Heidegger would look like as a couple (A cheeseburger and a French fry. A watermelon and a seed. A missile launcher and a hand grenade). So...I had been hoping since then that an opportunity would represent itself.

And there it is.

I spotted Rufus heading in the opposite direction of me as I headed for the exit into the main parking lot. I know exactly where he's going. As he disappeared around a corner an idea struck me like a bolt of lightning:

I could follow him!

And then he'd be so surprised that I am behind him he'll just have to listen to me and what I want to say to him. It's perfect. It's fool proof. Kinda. I should have thought of this earlier, I knew he'd probably leave around this time and I knew where his entourage of cars was. I can just simply make it my business to wander over there innocently and chat him up. It's not stalking. It's taking charge of a situation.

_Hypothetically_, this should work.

Why Rufus doesn't have body guards or soldiers around him while he goes to his car this late at night beats me. Perhaps it's because no one can really get on the grounds unless they have clearance. Or, perhaps it's because he knows he's fully capable of taking care of himself. The thought crossed my mind several times as I watched him walk the same path we'd walked together, I was following closely behind him in what I hoped was a very stealthy manner. Only once had I actually almost made him know I was here and that was during the beginning when I stubbed my toe against a trashcan. I'd prayed with all my willpower that it did not tip over...and it didn't.

I continued to follow him, keeping my distance close enough but far away so that he wouldn't "feel" someone behind him. Before he reached the hidden car garage, I would have to make my presence known. It had occurred to me several times that I could lose my job over this, but I hoped that he'd appreciate a good ambush.

Rufus turned another corner. I waited near the edge of the corner for five seconds, he should be at the garage now. I turned the corner swiftly...

And came face to face with the double barrels of a shot gun.

"Oh god, don't kill me!"

"What the hell." Rufus muttered."Elena?"

"Yeah...it's me..." I tried not to sound like I was just about to get my face shot off. It didn't occur to me that he might just decide to use his weapon.

The gun left my vision, replaced with a slightly surprised and confused Rufus. I quietly celebrated surprising him for a second or two. Rufus put his gun away.

"Do you realize I knew someone was behind me the entire time?" he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"No, sir, not really." Stealth really isn't my forte. "You're not..." I looked around. "Annoyed are you?"

"No. I'm not, I should be, but I'm not. I'm _intrigued_, why are you here?" a small smirk played on his lips.

My cheeks grew warm; I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Well...I guess...I should just say it since you already caught me stalking you."

"I agree." He brushed his hair from his face and eyed me something like interest.

"Well...I..." I shifted from foot to foot. "Iwantedtoaskyououtlikeonanotherdate."

Rufus was silent for a moment. He's not going to say no is he?! Could he even understand what I'd said? _I_ couldn't even understand what I'd said.

"I..." I felt the need to explain. "I was going to ask you after the board meeting or something but none of those times seemed appropriate at the moment, though right now isn't actually appropriate either, seeing as to the Turks was almost just reduced to three again, but I just…"

He put a finger to my lips. I looked up at him, my face burning.

"I would, Elena. We seem to have a lot to discuss."

* * *

--

* * *

_**Goodwitch08: Well here it is. This chapter has been waiting to be posted! I hope you guys like it, I should be updating again soon. I've noticed all the readers that are favoriting this story and I just want to say thank you for loving it enough to stay with it. I would love to hear what you guys hidden people think about what you've read, please leave a review. They're not only helpful, but they make my ego swell, and it's almost big enough to deserve it's own zip code. I'm kidding, but really I appreciate everyone's feedback. I'd love it if you'd take the time to leave a few (or several!) words. If I beg would you do it?**_

_**Anyway, thank you guys and I hope you liked this chapter. Once again, please review.**_

* * *


	14. Something

* * *

**Chapter 14**

Something

* * *

I finished up work earlier than expected, so I decided to get something done that I hadn't did in a few weeks: target practice. After Tseng left, without saying goodnight to me as he usually would (I'd like to think he's avoiding me subtly just in case I would fly off the handle again. I'm going to have to fix that….), I left my office and headed to one of the several shooting ranges. I wasn't alert enough to do something that was too fast paced like some of the shooting training could be, so I went to the "normal" one. I entered our indoor firing range, grabbed some safety equipment for my eyes and ears, and got started.

There is something therapeutic about holding a potentially dangerous object. There is also something very nice about being at work late at night when more than half of the staff was probably at home getting in enough hours of sleep to not become zombies. The ShinRa building is never actually completely empty at any part of the day, but it is noticeably less people around during this time. It's almost like its empty. With each shot that I made I felt like the explosion of the bullet from my gun was making more noise than necessary. It was almost disrespecting the sanctity of silence. But then again, last time I checked, I usually disrespect that same sanctity all the time when I open my mouth during totally comfortable lulls in a conversation. I did that several times today, mostly to get my mind off of a certain someone.

After I followed Rufus and almost got my face shot off, I asked him out on a date. He told me to come up with the plans, because he'd be interested to see where I'd take us. I had every intention of asking around for good suggestions and I think I may have gotten one from Reno. He suggested a nice new Wutai themed restaurant. I'm not too sure about that. Hell, I'm not too sure about anything. I'm still not too sure about Rufus's alleged interest in me, nor have I paid any attention to the little voice in my head that barely speaks above a whisper. Every time it tries to get a word in, I automatically block it out. I don't want to even think about why I don't want to listen to what it has to say, nor do I want to listen to what it...well…has to say. That little voice, unfortunately, is usually right. Maybe that's why I don't listen to it.

The voice had tried to creep up several times today but right now it was very easy to ignore it with the satisfyingly loud noise my gun was making. Sometimes silence is better when you make noise.

Unfortunately sometimes noise is halted and needs to be reloaded. With a sigh I put the gun down and took off my ear protection and eye protection. I spotted a box of bullets where I'd placed my gun, and opened them a little too fast. Several of them hit the floor with a loud popping noise and rolled around for a few moments before grouping together. Coffee beans popped in my head for some reason.

I bent down to pick them up.

_Look up._ The little voice might speak softly but when it did there was no mistaking it. Did I really want to listen to it or ignore it? I quickly shot that down, reminding myself that ignoring the little voice usually resulted in unfortunate things happening to me or things in my possession. With that thought in mind, I quickly grabbed the bullets and bunched them in my fist before standing up. My eyes instantly focused on what the little voice meant.

The shooting range, like many recreational parts of the ShinRa building held several large glass windows on the sides where guns weren't used. They were always in plain sight,and they looked right out into several corridors. Coming down one of those corridors, around a corner was none other than Rufus Shinra. He seemed immersed in something he was reading. My heart instantly fluttered; oh gosh I wish I could get his attention somehow. What's the point of the little voice telling me to look up if it wasn't going to give me hints or tips on how to make this moment worth it? Such a cruel voice it was. When I didn't listen, the consequences would mock me. When I did listen, it proved how heartless it was.

I could throw one of these bullets at the window, bang on it, or simply let him pass on by and about his business. He's probably about to leave or something anyway. I'm sure he doesn't need me bothering him once again. With a sigh I went on about my business, knowing that in about a minute he would have disappeared down one of the next corridors or into a room or something. Besides, he didn't need me bothering him, right?

I reloaded my gun thoughtlessly and aimed at my next target but I didn't pull the trigger. Instead my eyes left the marker and went back out of the window. Rufus was passing the glass nearest me now; I could see him so close. I could almost touch him—if it wasn't for the thick glass, that is.

People can tell when someone is watching them. It's just something in our human nature that gives us a sixth sense. My sixth sense, I'm sure my little voice was related to it, told me to stop staring at him before he ended up sensing me watching him. It told me to go about my business. I didn't. And he did.

Look up, that is.

Rufus paused and looked up from whatever he was reading with a slight frown. His blue eyes met mine through the virtually invisible wall that separated us. I lifted a hand and waved. A small smirk seemed to materialize on his lips. Suddenly, quite self-conscious, I smiled and took my attention back to my target. I pulled the trigger before I knew I was doing it, my brain took a minute to catch up with my body's actions. After the sound of the blast faded and I realized I missed my target by about ten inches, my sixth sense started tingling. It wasn't in that way that told you to either break into a run or prepare yourself for a fight. It was the one that was actually quite nice. My body must know what I do not, my cheeks grew quite warm and my hand tightened on my gun. My stance straightened and I bit my lip. I pushed down on the trigger again lightly and watched as that bullet also missed my target by an even worse margin than before.

"How are you this evening, Elena?"

My cheeks felt like they were on fire now. My sixth sense was right then, there was definitely someone else in the room now, and he was standing nearby and watching me.

"I'm okay. Sir. You?" I fought to keep my eyes focused on my target. If I look at him in all his handsome glory I knew I'd probably miss every other shot after this and then he'd began to wonder why in the hell I was a Turk if I couldn't even shoot straight. I bit down on my lip harder and repositioned the gun.

"I'm fine." He responded casually. I wanted so badly to look at him and see what he was doing. How he was standing and what expression was on his face. Was he impressed? I wouldn't be if I was him. Missing twice in a row isn't exactly impressive.

I nodded and pulled at the skin on my bottom lip with my teeth. I glared at the target and pulled the trigger again. A sigh escaped my lips, three times apparently wasn't the charm. Unless the charm including my aim getting worse with each shot.

"Are you always like this?"

I winced inwardly. Oh gosh, how embarrassing. "No...not at all. I was doing fine until…you came, sir. I guess I don't seem to perform well under pressure."

"Your job description practically requires you to perform well under pressure."

I nodded and at the same time I felt a thick piece of skin on my lip be pulled from the surface and it now resided between my teeth. I licked my lips, tasting blood and feeling a bit of pain. "I know, sir, it's not all kinds of pressure that gets me all ruffled…"

"Oh? Then what is it?"

I sucked on my bottom lip and tightened my grip on my gun with no intention of firing. "You, sir, just you. You kind of make me crazy. Heh, I'd probably forget my own name if it wasn't on my I.D. card against my chest right now."

That didn't come out right. He wasn't supposed to hear that.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, sir. Actually it's a bit. You um…you are very distracting sir. It's nice.." I swallowed and prodded my upper lip with the tip of my tongue. Probably should stop talking…

Rufus didn't say anything. All I could hear was his soft, almost inaudible, and deliberate steps. Where was he going?

"Well, Elena, if I said I was sorry for making you feel that way, I would be lying." He said from somewhere behind me. I could hear him closer; my sixth sense didn't have to tell me what one of my normal five already knew.

If blushing has a ten-point scale and ten was the highest, I'd say I was doing a seven right about now. I attempted to focus in vain. "True…" I willed myself to pull the trigger again but couldn't. Not with his perceptive gaze on me. Even that wouldn't be too bad if I didn't feel like this about him.

"Let me see if I can help you." As he spoke, I felt a hand land on my shoulder gently.

My vision wavered momentarily as my eyes tried to cheat and look from the target to him. "Sir, I can probably do it myself..." I'm not going to turn him down though. "It's just that you make me feel…" I trailed off. I had no business expressing feelings I had avoided dwelling on for too long.

"We'll see." Rufus said from behind me, from the sound of his voice, he was _directly _behind me. I wanted to look back so badly but I knew I would probably spontaneously combust if I laid eyes on him too quickly.

My finger twitched on the trigger. I forced myself to relax even when my sixth sense started to tingle. Or maybe it was my ESP. Or maybe the tingling was my body reacting to something a little less abstract.

Rufus put his arms around me and I instantly started shaking. I wouldn't have known I was shaking if the gun hadn't been shaking too. I stared at the moving black edge of my weapon and willed it to stop. I swallowed and felt my eyes close then open again, the gun was shaking even more. I laughed unsure; it came out sounding like a drowning cat on speed after being dehydrated by the glow of the sun. Or…something like that.

Rufus chuckled softly; close to my ear...I'm not sure if he was laughing with or at me. Why are we laughing anyway? There wasn't much funny. I'm sure he was laughing in an ironic manner. Almost positive.

His hands covered mine and steadied the gun. I blushed a full out ten, almost in embarrassment that he'd saw my weakness and fixed it. Temporarily. I knew full well, the moment he released them I would bear witness to even worse nerves. The only thing suppressing them was his control but it was his presence that had me like this. I was completely calm when I was alone. I wish he could see that Elena for once. The one that was somewhat strong, calm and a lot less of an accident waiting to happen. Instead of the Elena that lost her senses whenever he was around. I want to impress him. Even scare him a little.

"Are you always so nervous when holding a gun?" he asked softly against my ear.

This was too close. Too intimate. Especially at work! Anyone could see us through these windows. This was not what it looked like, I had to tell myself. I knew I was lying. This is exactly what it looks like, exactly what it feels like. It would be up to the potential witness to create their own reality out of perception.

"No, no I'm not, sir. I'm usually a great shot." I said earnestly. I wanted him to know that I was actually very competent and worthy of my Turk status. It mattered more than anything to impress him and not because of who he is. I'm not sure why.

"I believe you."Rufus merely replied, to my disbelief.

"You do?"

"Mmmhmm."

Then he pulled the trigger for both of us and the bullet exploded from the gun and into the center of the target. A smile tugged at my lips.

"Finally." I sighed a bit dramatically.

"Hmm."

Together, with him leading us, we shot a few more rounds. So I was right, there _was _something therapeutic about firing a weapon or at least calming because beneath the warmth of his hands I could no longer feel my own hands shaking. I don't know if I leaned against his chest after the fifth round or the first, but it was comforting there. I tried not to remind myself that anyone walking by could see what was going on. It was nice being in his arms while we fired off together. After my initial nerves settled down, I could appreciate my feelings a little more. While chewing on the inside of my mouth I inhaled the nice light scent of his cologne.

We fired another round, I'd lost count now.

"You know, I am very attracted to you." Rufus said in a matter-of-fact manner.

I didn't know what to say, so I let him continue.

"…and I'm not entirely sure why. I've asked myself 'why her?' just as you asked me that night…"

I bit my lip and looked at him from the corner of my eye; he was watching me as well. Our eyes met, I looked away, back at the target. "I...don't know what to say..."

"You seem surprised. Are you more surprised that I am telling you this or that I don't actually have an answer to your "why me?" question. Honestly, I never had an answer to that question. The question had not even formed until you asked it." He chuckled softly to himself. I wanted to know what he was thinking.

"….and now?" I hesitated to ask.

"I'm beginning to figure that out. Slowly, yes, but I am."

We were in silence for a moment. It was not an uncomfortable silence but more of a thoughtful one. I don't know if he was giving me time for thought or if he was the one thinking or if it was both of us that were.

"My Boss is attracted to me..." I said to myself, purposefully aloud, with a hint of humor and irony in my tone. That was just something I still could not wrap my head around. Rufus Shinra is attracted to me. "My Boss has a crush on me."

"I'm a little too old for a crush." He laughed softly.

"You might be a little too old to call it that but that's what it is, no?" I glanced at him from the corner of my eye again, smiling slightly. Then I looked at the target and made us pull the trigger.

The time it took for the bullet to reach the middle of the target gave me time to think. Had he really just openly admitted to actually having feelings for me? I know I'm not supposed to be overjoyed by this ,for professional reasons, but I am. The little voice wasn't telling me to not be overjoyed but it also wasn't telling me to be either. I don't know what to think, but I do know how I feel.

"I suddenly want to tell you more than you should know." Rufus said, admittedly. "But I won't, it's not the time for that. With that said, Elena, you should know you _do_ have my attention."

More than I should know?

"I don't even know _how_ I got your attention." I nibbled my bottom lip and tried to remember to aim. We weren't really shooting anymore to be shooting; it was more or less just part of the conversation and the moment. In fact, I don't think it actually is part of the conversation, just a prop or an excuse to be right here. Or something like that. "Sir…." I trailed off.

What am I supposed to do with this information?

Rufus released my hands and put his arms around my waist silently. It was almost as if he was answering my unspoken question without saying a word.

_Whatever you want to._

I put the gun down and turned around in his arms. He looked down at me; an invisible smirk was tugging at his lips. I took in a shallow breath.

It's hard to say who started it, but it doesn't really matter. Our lips met right in front of the whole company, anyone could see if they wanted to. If anyone was actually here to witness it. There was something exhilarating about the potential of being seen. Something was different about the way he kissed me this time, and something was definitely different about the way I kissed him back. The answer wasn't solid but at least it seemed real this time.

* * *

I had a dream about Rufus. I don't understand it and I gave up trying after it began to make my head hurt. All I remember from the dream is a bird chirping spastically at the foot of a bed occupied by two people playing chess. By chess I mean not playing chess. By playing chess I mean the bird got shot by a rifle and then the two people—Rufus and I—continued not to play chess by _playing _chess.

I'm ashamed of my lewd subconscious. Which seemed to still be bent on reminding me what I did last night. Or didn't do. Or did do. All I did was kiss him. Which is a lot. But it was nice. _Really_ nice. Woo scandal. I can't even concentrate on what's on my computer screen at a moment like this. I keep thinking about kissing him again. Which is a bad bad thing. I think.

Suddenly I feel like saying that ridiculous line from some ridiculous television show about how if "Lovin him is wrong I don't wanna be right." Oh whatever. I'm not in love so that stupid line can't apply to me.

"I don't even know where _this_ is going so…love is probably a very faraway thing. Too soon..." I leaned back in my office chair and stared at the diagram on my screen. "He's so hot though."

"Aww, Elena, really?"

What the hell? I spun around in my seat, expecting exactly who I saw.

"Sup."

"Reno!" my heart thumped wildly in my chest but I was determined to shoot him my best death glare. How dare he sneak up on me like that? "Was that really necessary?"

"If I was your lover boy you wouldn't be acting like that." Reno grinned smugly, crossing his arms. Little flaming weasel. If I didn't like him so much I'd kill him sometimes. He was right though, if he'd been my "lover boy" I wouldn't have reacted that way. If he'd been my "lover boy" I'd probably be twitching on the floor in a puddle.

I'm not giving him the satisfaction of a reply, I sit back down in my chair and turn back to the computer. What's worse is that he heard me fawning over Rufus--aka: lover boy-- like a schoolgirl.

"Don't you want to know why I'm here?"

"Nope." I looked back at him to show him my rolling eyes and turned back to the computer.

"Fine." he headed for the door.

"Fine." I began typing, trying to concentrate on the document.

"Fine." He said simply and opened the door.

"Tell me!"

Reno has a little laugh that I like to call the Cackle of Triumph. Though I refused to look at him, I knew he was looking at me with smug satisfaction while he performed said cackle. I can only imagine what he put poor Sara through on their date.

"Oh shut up." I cut him off mid-cackle. "I hope you didn't do Sara like that. She's a smart girl and might just not take your charming crap like Rude and I." I swiveled my chair around to face him, and put my hands in my lap. No point on continuing to work—or pretend—until Reno was gone. "Speaking of Sara, how did it go?"

Reno shrugged. "Oh I dunno, don't you types gossip to each other about that kind of stuff? You tell her about how you did whatever with that guy; she tells you how I did her. Right?"

"Oh god, you didn't sleep with her did you?" I knew my mouth was hanging open now. I couldn't see Sara doing that on the first date. What would I know?

Reno laughed softly. "No. It was a joke."

"So how did it go?" I'm going to ignore his comment about 'us types'.

"How about I tell you at lunch? You've been holed up in here since the morning. Let's go get something to eat; Sara and Rude are already down stairs. I told them I was coming to get you. Sara insisted." He rolled his eyes.

At the mention of food, I suddenly felt my stomach tighten and then emit an almost inaudible rumble of discontent. "You know what, sure." I got up and followed him out of my office. "But I want details..."

Lunch went fairly well; I kept looking around expecting to spot _someone_ though. Does liking someone make a person paranoid? We asked Tseng to join us, but he was busy. As usual. Actually, I didn't ask him to join us, because he still won't talk to me. Or at least, he hasn't said anything to me that wasn't business related. Tseng isn't the type to do the cold shoulder thing; he's a bit too mature and polite for that. Then again, maybe it's _me_ who's not talking to him. Either way, it was nice. We had lunch inside the Shinra building instead of going to eat out like I usually do. Sara and I sat across from each other, as did Reno and Rude. Apparently, Reno took Sara to a rather expensive Wutai themed restaurant in the next sector. At that point, I looked at him shrewdly and he admitted—with his eyes—that he'd hoped I would have taken the bait and went to the same restaurant. He'd suggested that one on purpose so he could get a glimpse of my "lover". Anyway, to my surprise Reno was generally a gentleman the entire time. I know he's planning something, I just know it. I wanted to tell her to run for the hills but the little voice told me to shut up. I am toying with the belief that Reno found a way to communicate with me through neural pathways and told me that so he can stick to whatever scheme he's planning. After about an hour we said bye to Sara and headed back to our own floors.

"You know..." Reno said thoughtfully, leading the way toward—unfortunately—an elevator. For a split second I thought that Rufus would just so happen to be in it again, luckily he wasn't. I don't know what I'd do if I saw him in one of these hovering deathtraps again.

Reno leaned against a wall and stared up at the light in the ceiling. Rude stood by the buttons—which he pushed for our floor—and seemed to be watching Reno, probably wondering the same thing I was wondering. I was the last one to enter and winced at the uncomfortable little jolt every elevator has before it makes a descent or climb. We waited for Reno to finish what he was saying.

"…Reno?" I reached over and slapped his shoulder after a few seconds of watching him stare the light down. "Tell us what you were about to say."

Reno shrugged, sighed, ran a hand through his hair, and then finally looked away from the light. He blinked a few times and then fell back into his usual nonchalant mode. Thoughtful looks odd on Reno but he still wears it well. "I just can't shake the feeling that something is off about Sara."

"What because she won't sleep with you yet?" I countered with sarcasm dripping on my tone. "Reno: Part time Turk, Part Time Conspiracy Theorist/Womanizer."

"Bite me." He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned on the wall at an odd angle. "Anyway, I think something's a little off about her, and not just because she wouldn't kiss me. If I didn't know better…" he trailed off again, looking at the light.

I sighed and looked over at Rude. "Why does he do that?"

"I stopped trying to figure that out." Rude adjusted his sunglasses. I laughed softly.

"You know, there is no elevator music in here." Reno said suddenly, his voice raised a couple of octaves in surprise.

"What?" curiously, I looked up. "Heh, you're right…there aren't even any intercoms or speakers. But...when you think about it...are you really surprised? I mean this _is_ ShinRa we're talking about."

"True true...I can't believe I'd never noticed that before." Reno shrugged.

There was a ding from nowhere and the elevator doors opened. Grateful, I stepped out first. A short woman smiled, walked past me and into the elevator. I turned around to see Reno and Rude looking back at me with raised eyebrows.

"Oops..hehe.." I hurried back toward the elevator.

"We might as well walk the rest of the way anyway. It's only two more floors up." Reno shrugged and came out of the elevator as well. Rude followed.

The doors closed. I watched the numbers light up as it took whomever that was to the next level, while trying not to feel just a little bit stupid. How often does someone actually end up doing that? Not often, I'm willing to bet on that. Not often.

"Can we...forget that just happened?" I slid in-between the two men. I looked from Reno to Rude. One had a smirk on his face that could only be seen as evil, the other was sporting a small smile.

"Sure." Rude's smile got a little bigger. So cruel.

"Totally, I mean it happens every day doesn't it." Reno's impish grin got darker. So very cruel.

"Oh come on."

"Nope." Reno put an arm around my shoulders. "As your friend and coworker we have to insure you against future stupidity."

In spite of me, I could feel a grin pulling at the corners of my mouth. "You guys just love me oh so much. You just hide it by being a pain in the ass-"

"So there you are!" Reno suddenly cut me off.

The person in question was emerging from an intersecting corridor. Thoughtlessly I bit my lip. It was Tseng. He stopped at the sound of Reno's voice and came down the hall toward us. The thing is, someone else was with him. None other than Rufus. I instantly felt my cheeks grow warm, what an uncomfortable day this has just become. I cast my eyes down to the tip of my black boots.

"Hey, Rufus, Tseng. So you must were too good to eat with us Tseng?" I could hear Reno's sarcastic but friendly voice above my head.

"I'm glad I found you three." Tseng replied, ignoring Reno's initial statement. "I have some news for you.."

I think I said something that sounded like a hello but I'm not sure if anyone heard me. I'm not even sure if I actually opened my mouth. Unlike Rude, I can't get away with complete silence without someone thinking something is wrong with me. Maybe I should try again, and say hello. Or not. I'll just..continue to stare at my feet in silence.

_Look up!_ The little voice was nagging me at the back of my head. I listened, of course. The last time the disembodied voice told me to look up, something great happened. When I looked up I was a little disappointed, Rufus wasn't paying me any attention. He was talking with Tseng and Reno (and technically Rude. He has a knack of saying nothing but everyone understands it) about something.

"…..you and Elena will probably go there…" Tseng was saying to Reno and Rude.

Oh god what did I miss? I bet this had something to do with an assignment...now I'll have to ask for repeats later. I glanced at Rufus.

"…and then you with Rufus…" Tseng continued on.

Somewhere with Rufus? Where's Rufus going? I want to ask him right now, but that would raise so many eyebrows. Shifting from foot to foot, I try to draw my attention back into the conversation without much luck.

"I'm going mostly on personal interest." Rufus was saying. I'm assuming someone asked him what I'd been thinking.

"Personal?" Reno sounded intrigued.

Rufus looked at me, his eyes lingered on mine. I felt a smile tugging at my lips but tried to remain neutral.

"Virtually, yes." He looked away first, putting his attention back on Reno. If I looked close enough, I could see a smirk forming on his lips. Oh gosh, what if Tseng noticed that?

Biting my lip, I glanced over at Tseng; he was telling the guys whatever I was missing out on. Pay attention, pay attention pay attention! Can't, can't can't! Barely twenty four hours ago I was kissing him and now I can't even say anything to him. Couldn't anyone else feel that tension in the air? My left foot began twitching, making my foot tap on the floor. Tseng caught my eye, with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry...continue on, sir." I looked away again, saying the first words I'd said to him all day. I forced my foot to stop tapping. My eyes landed on Rufus again.

He ran a hand through his immaculate blond hair; it fell gently into his face. He's just too attractive for words. "You know..." his eyes met mine again, briefly. No one seemed to notice. "I think Elena should accompany me, instead of Rude."

Whoa what?

"Sir?" I managed to cough out the words.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Tseng interjected, calmly. What are they talking about?!

"I think so, I doubt anything..." his eyes fell on me again. "Exciting is going to happen. If it does, I'm sure we can handle ourselves."

"Right, sir." I feel myself nod.

"So we'll be ready in an hour?" Reno cracked his knuckles.

"Apparently." Tseng crossed his arms. Something tells me he isn't exactly happy with Rufus's choice.

My confusion was definitely written all over my face, but no one seemed to actually care.

"I'll see you in an hour, Elena." Rufus spoke directly to me, putting a hand on my shoulder briefly.

I nodded wordlessly and watched him pass by me, along with Tseng. I watched them leave, not blinking until the two turned a corner and disappeared.

"C'mon Elena." Reno called my attention.

"What?"

"Try not to end up getting Rufus shot, though I know it might be tempting." Reno chuckled and put an arm around my shoulders again, as if the interruption hadn't happened. "How's that for a surprise. The rookie is going to be Rufus's bodyguard."

"I am?" I wanted to ask, but didn't want to reveal that I hadn't actually been listening. I had been too distracted by Rufus's presence and the way he kept looking at me. I'd just have to play it by ear. "Where are you two going again? You and Rude?" I said instead.

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you weren't paying attention." Reno dug in his pocket and produced a stick of gum. He unwrapped it with one hand. "We're going to Junon for field research. You, on the other hand, are going somewhere else. Rufus nor Tseng didn't say where."

"Oh..." I stayed silent, trying to absorb the scant information he'd given me. I'm going to be with Rufus on some type of assignment. What was he planning, choosing me of all people? I doubt he would have chosen me if he ..we..and…stuff.

We walked in silence, with me biting my nails and Reno blowing bubbles with his gum. I'm excited that I get to go on some type of assignment at least, I'm anxious about being with Rufus. I shouldn't worry though, I guess, since we'll be in a business setting and there will probably be other witnesses. This should be interesting at least.

I stayed in my thoughts until we reached our floor.

"Elena, are you and Tseng still boohooing at each other?" Reno stopped at his office door, hand on the knob. Rude left us alone, going into his own office.

"Boohooing?" I laughed softly. "Where do you get that stuff, Reno?"

"Are y'all still bitching at each other?" he gave me a look. "How's that?"

"No..why?" I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"I felt a tense atmosphere. I mean, it's like you could cut the sexual tension with a knife."

"Sexual tension?!" I gasped, my voice getting louder than necessary. "There's no sexual tension!"

"Either that or y'all are still annoyed with each other. You'd think you'd be over being accused of having an affair with Rufus hahaha. But now, it just seems to be made worse since Rufus specifically chose you to join him over me or Rude, or Tseng." He shrugged, running a hand through his mess of red hair. "I'm just sayin."

"Well you're wrong. Tseng doesn't dwell on stuff."

"Hmph. Either that, or it's sexual tension. I mean who are you fooling? Besides, how do you know what Tseng wouldn't do? You don't know him that well."

"I think that nicotine is getting to your brain cells, that's something I do know. I've got to get ready."

I left Reno, who was laughing to himself as I walked away, and entered my own office. I pushed Reno's comments out of my head, there was no sexual anything between anybody. I know I shouldn't be as excited as I am about this assignment. I think I'm actually a bit more excited about me being out of Midgar with Rufus as opposed to actually doing the assignment. How messed up is that?

I settled down at my desk and stared at my computer monitor. It was still on exactly what I'd left. It'd take me about thirty minutes to finish the rest of this. With a sigh I set off to work, avoiding all of my thoughts that didn't pertain to ShinRa tasks.

After a while, I felt myself going back into the mold of work. Even if desk work was boring at times, there was one good thing to say about it: it could make you forget things briefly if you narrowed your mind to just the task at hand.

Soft knocking met my ears. Someone was at my door…_again. _

"Reno!" I called out. "Please stop bothering me. Lunch was fun and all but I really want to finish this before I have to go with the President. I mean really Reno, I love you and all but you get on my nerves sometimes. Can you just let me be for a twenty minutes? Especially, if you're about to bother me about this alleged sexual tension you swear in between Tseng and I! Go bother Sara or something until we have to go okay? Pleeease? If you lay off for the next twenty minutes I won't tell Rude to punch you for me anymore when you annoy me! So pleeeease, no more talk about sexual tensions and stuff?"

I waited for his reply.

"You don't have twenty minutes, actually."

Oh damn it!

"Tseng? Oh god, sir, I'm so sorry, the door is already unlocked." I let out a breath and stared at the screen. I just said 'sexual tension' to Tseng! About Tseng! Is this one of those bad days again that's really in disguise and it's a good day..kinda? I don't know if I can live through another one of those!

The door opened. "Elena, we don't want to keep Rufus waiting." Tseng gave an exasperated sigh. Which was unusual, he rarely sighed like he was annoyed of something, if he could help it. What was he annoyed of? Me?

"Oh...sorry, sir." I stood from my desk. "I was trying to finish up this..." I gestured toward the computer. "And I kinda forgot….sir..I'm sorry. Really." My hand went up and through my hair before I could even register that my arm had moved. "I'm sorry, sir. Really, and I'm sorry for the other day too. I haven't been talking much to you today or yesterday because I thought you were probably a bit tired of me..."

I can't stop talking. It just keeps coming...

"...and….so I distanced myself a little. I know I was so out of line the other day, I know you were just concerned and you were totally right. I have so much to learn and everything about life and stuff..I'm just really sorry."

Tseng stared at me for a moment; his brown eyes searched my face until I looked away.

"Elena that's not...that doesn't have anything to do with anything."

"I...I feel like it does, sir."

"We don't have to talk about this right now." He sighed again; something was slightly frustrated about his manners today. He seemed polite enough, but there was an edge to his voice, I don't even think he notices it.

"Yes, sir."

He nodded curtly, moving out of the way of the open door and waited. I walked forward and left first. He shut the door behind me. "If it pleases you, we could find time to talk about it later." He added as an afterthought.

I nodded. "Thank you, sir."

We walked side by side in a thick silence. Maybe I'm just imagining that something is going up. Maybe we'll talk about it later after this assignment. I pushed Tseng's behavior out of my mind, maybe I'm just over thinking things. I have something to look forward to.

* * *

--

* * *

_**A/N: I know some might be confused as to what happened to the day before. It wasn't important so I skipped to the night of the next day following Elena's "ambushing" of our Rufus. I really had fun writing that part. I'm still working on getting my kisses down pact, but that scene wasn't really about how the kiss felt but about how she felt and how it was different some that make sense? I hope it does a little.**_

_**I want to thank all of my reviewers for your input. I know there are more people that read, and I wish you'd make yourselves known and leave a review! I would love to know what you think and how everything makes you feel. I respond to every single comment that I get, I love talking to my readers. So, with that said, like I say in every chapter: please review.**_

_**Thanks for your support,**_

_**goodwitch2008**_

_**Also if you spot anything that is extremely off (like missing letters in words) please tell me so I can fix it.  
**_

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_**Question of the day: Do you think Rufus knows that Tseng is suspicious?**_

* * *


	15. Just Between Us

_**Goodwitch08: (I try to avoid putting A/N's at the beginning of chapters now, for my own obsessive reasons) Hi guys. I'll keep this short (that's rich) and sweet. Alright, there is an assignment during this chapter that is quite short. It's short mostly because it's only setting the scene for things leading up to the Temple of Ancients and things that go on there. The story is far from that happening (not that far but far enough) but I wanted to set that up. Also, I wanted a reason for these two to have some time alone. Another reason that it's a short assignment is because Rufus doesn't like to linger unnecessarily. Don't you just love him?**_

**_I hope my facts are all straight here about the Temple and the Keystone and Aeris's mom. I've played the game, of course, (hmm, albeit recently)and I even combed through some of the script to make sure I wasn't making something happen incorrectly. If you spot a mistake please inform me by PM (or_ review._.) so that I can find a way around it and fix it. Other than that, I wish you all happy reading and __reviewing._**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

_**Just Between Us**_

* * *

Reno was right. I hadn't noticed it before but there was definitely a tense aura around Tseng and me. As we walked down to where the others were waiting, no words passed between us. I tried to strike up conversation about anything to make it a lot less uncomfortable. I talked about the assignment, Cloud and his friends, even the menu from the day. Nothing. Tseng either gave me two-word answers or he didn't say anything. What did I do to make it all like this? Or maybe I'm just letting what Reno said get to me and its making normal Tseng behavior more amplified. Technically, Tseng was generally quiet unless he felt compelled to interject during one of my ramblings. Isn't that what I liked first about him anyway? That he was silent, mysterious, serious, and good at listening? Or maybe I thought he was all those things as a part of his personality. If there is one thing Reno is right about it's that I don't know Tseng. Not really. But I don't really know any of them, either. That's why I'm trying to get to know them, which is harder than one might think.

As far as Rufus and Tseng are concerned, I don't know much about either of them. The difference is maybe that while Tseng simply doesn't offer information about himself, Rufus is almost completely guarded. Maybe I can get past that wall he has up, since we are in a relationship. I guess, finally he'll have to stop being an enigma.

Unfortunately Tseng's current irritation was getting under my skin. I can't help but feel that he hasn't forgotten our confrontation about Rufus. He doesn't believe me? Or is it Rufus he's still paranoid about? While I want to feel offended that Tseng thinks it's weird for Rufus to pay even a 'little' attention to me, I can't help but feel flattered that Tseng is concerned about me. And if not me, then at least my position at the company. I know it's not the smartest thing to do, getting involved with my boss, but it's not like I started it. There are so many questions I still have about Rufus's interest in me. Maybe Tseng's questioning it as well isn't something to be upset about. I don't know. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to ask Rufus that. Maybe I can get a solid answer on the "why me" question.

"I promise, sir, I will do my best, no harm will come to the President." I almost wanted to assure him, just so we could have something normal to talk about. Only here would promising to risk my own life for that of someone who _might_ not actually deserve it be considered normal. It's like saying, "Yes, my corpse will be bloody enough for your approval on how many times I got shot/stabbed/maimed so that the President could be insured to live yet another day."

All of that would be better than silence. I'm going to go out on a limb here.

"Tseng, sir, is there something wrong?"

I can't take the silence anymore. I stop walking and face him, my hands on my hips.

"Something wrong?" he raised an eyebrow. Genuine confusion and interest swam in his dark brown eyes. Maybe I am just imagining things. Maybe he's not all upset with me about something we'd already fixed. Maybe I'm just feeling a bit overly-analytical.

"Yes, sir." I started. My words suddenly got caught in my throat. I cleared it, making a retching sound. "No…Tseng, sir. Never mind. It's stupid." I turned away from him and stared walking again.

Before I knew it, I was facing him again. My eyes fell on his hand around my wrist, firmly. I looked up at him, speechless. The skin-on-skin contact made my stomach feel funny like tightening coils. Like how it used to when Tseng would merely walk into the room. The fleeting feeling only lasted for a split second. I was reminded that he doesn't—and never has—felt like that about me. Probably. No tightening coils. No flushed cheeks. No lack of breath or dry throat. No infatuation. But overall that, I think the feeling left because...

Actually, this is the part where I'm supposed to have a dramatic and wise revelation but really I don't know why the feeling left. Maybe it was because I don't have a conclusion. I don't have an answer.

"Sir?" my voice came out disappointingly weak. Bah.

"Elena, I told you, we'll talk about it later." He released my wrist and resumed walking like nothing had happened. "I promise." He called over his shoulder to the stunned blond behind him.

"Yes, Tseng, sir." Said stunned blond quickly caught up with him and fell back into step.

The actual walk was about five minutes but felt like so much more with Tseng. It is almost like tense situations dragged on just because The Powers That Be wanted to screw with me. I was more than happy to go through the airtight doors that led to an outside helicopter launch pad area.

The first thing that caught my attention was the one dozen soldiers at the edge of the launch pad, guarding it. The second thing I noticed was that Reno and Rude were already gone.

A stiff wind blew my hair into my eye. I quickly brushed it off, ignoring the burning sensation. I looked over at Tseng. He merely gave me a stoic look.

"I'll expect a report when you return."

I nodded, seriously, and kept eye contact. I didn't know how "yes, sir." could convey the professional determination (Yo! Tseng! I'm not _not _in a relationship with the President! Your accusation was totally right but I want you to be well aware of the fact that I'm going to be nothing but professional with our boss. Unless he makes a pass at me. No, I'll behave and prove your totally accurate theory wrong!) that I had, so I hoped my body language would.

His expression softened slightly. "Good. Rufus should be out soon." He stood near the entrance back into the building.

We didn't have long to wait.

Rufus, when he joined us, told everyone else that he didn't need them. That just one Turk would do. As he said this he looked directly at me. I reminded myself that this is about pleasure. I mean business. I _meant_ business. Even while reminding myself, I accepted that Rufus looks good in daylight too. The sun--which wasn't too dim today--hit his blue eyes in just the right way.

He thanked Tseng for escorting me, saying that he was doubting I could find my way alone without help. He said the building would probably take a while for a _rookie_ to get familiar with. I should be insulted, and I was far a brief second until I reminded myself yet again that he's Rufus Shinra and he would probably say that even if I wasn't slightly romantically involved with him. I'd like to believe that he said that for my sake. His own stake. Even Tseng's sake. It wasn't a big deal. Kinda.

We approached a black helicopter bearing the ShinRa logo, together. The pilot was a middle-aged looking man with salt-and pepper hair. Something tells me that this guy's hair aged prematurely from stress that was probably job related. Hopefully, I wouldn't be joining him anytime soon.

I was only a little pleased that we wouldn't be completely alone on our trip.

"You. What's your name?"Rufus suddenly addressed the man.

The pilot stood a little straighter off the side of the helicopter. "My name?" he seemed surprised to be addressed for such a question, or even at all. I wanted to scoff warmly and tell him to join the club.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Rufus cut the man off. "We won't need you."

"What?" I said, my words were echoed by the nameless pilot. Actually, I'm sure it's on his I.D. card but I didn't care either right now. I wanted to know who would be flying our helicopter, if not him. Tseng? I glanced over my shoulder. Tseng had left us as far as I could tell.

"Who's gonna fly it then?" the man was confused but I could tell he was relieved.

I looked at Rufus quizzically.

"She is." Rufus glanced at me from the corner of his eye, indifferently.

The pilot stared at me for a moment before saluting, muttering formalities, and leaving.

I rounded on Rufus. "Me, sir?"

"Yes, you can do that right?"

I nodded, biting my lip. So were going to be totally alone. For a wild moment I thought he was about to waste company time and take us somewhere for personal reasons. Only for a quick moment though. Rufus knows time is money, and money isn't something you waste on unnecessary things.

"Oh..okay. Sir."

With that we boarded the helicopter, with me in the pilot's seat. This was totally unexpected. I'm not sure if this is what they meant by expect the unexpected and how true that has been this past month and a half. Maybe the people that come up with those things are wise.

"So..sir.."I stared at the controls while adjusting my headset. "Where are we going?

* * *

I wasn't so much as worried that I'd kill us both once I realized we didn't have to fly far. I'd imagined, in the short time it took for me to turn the aircraft on, various fatal scenarios involving an ocean, a sharp mountain top, and a forest. Luckily for me none of those existed in the city of Midgar. There was just…lots of streets and buildings and reactors to cushion our fall. I'm sad that we aren't going somewhere outside of the city, but I'm happy that I'm not doing desk work. Being with Rufus is a plus. Secretly, I'm hoping to sneak in some lip action at some point.

I'm ashamed of myself, really I am. No..not really. Well a little. A bit. Kinda. Just a smidgen. No, a lot actually. No..then again..

For the first five minutes we were both silent—minus me doing the routine of telling headquarters our current status-while I concentrated. My body, I'm glad, had great muscle memory and knew exactly what to do, leaving my mind to wander freely.

By wandering freely I mean it went right to Rufus.

"Rufus..sir…I'm curious." I relaxed slightly, staring at the expanse of buildings below. "Why are we going there of all places?"

"I want some answers." He was looking out of his window.

"How does it feel having all of this, and virtually the entire planet under your control?"

Rufus scoffed. "I don't see much difference from the old position."

"Some say control is an illusion." I adjusted our altitude.

"Others say perception is reality."

I grinned slightly, looking over at him. He had a devilishly handsome, smug look on his face. Suddenly, I wanted to relieve our late night kiss that just felt so different from our first. So much…_realer_. Which is crazy. I toyed with the thought though I knew I would do nothing especially several thousand feet in the air.

"Speaking of perception, does this trip have anything to do with The Promised Land?" I glanced at the controls. "I haven't heard much about it because I guess I'm a peon-"I chuckled ruefully to myself. "-with a big mouth."

He didn't answer me. I focused my eyes back on my task. I'd rather not end up hitting something. "Care to tell me about it? Sir?"

Honestly, I wouldn't have ever thought to ask him, especially since he didn't tell me anything even about himself. I want to find out how far I can go on a casual level with him, though I am always aware of our places in the world. Plus, I just wanted to know more about it. The Promised Land, that is. All I knew for certain was that Sephiroth was looking for it too, apparently, which was a whole 'nother thing completely.

"Hmm, you can get all of your answers from her." He replied simply, flicking his hair from his face and staring out of the window.

I guess I would. Who better to tell me than the person themselves? Whomever this 'her' is.

The rest of our flight was silent. I decided not to bring up last night because the moment didn't seem appropriate. We are on business. I'm his bodyguard/pilot/whatever else. He is The President. We weren't together right now even though I really can't see the lines that make the difference between then and now. I don't think it's ever going to be easy telling the difference. Maybe I should ask him about that later.

* * *

There was a little girl staring up at me wither cheeks puffed up like a blowfish. I've been trying to ignore her for the past ten minutes and keep a totally professional expression on my face. Barely a foot away from me was Rufus talking to a woman named Elmyra. She apparently was Aeris's mom. Or adoptive mom, per say. Rufus didn't explain all the details when we landed. He told me to listen to his conversation with the woman if I wanted to know.

We were in the Sector 5 slums but when we reached the area where her home was located, I almost doubted that fact. The house was about two stories high and pink; it was situated in a field of _flowers _and even had a waterfall. Patches of _sunlight_ from the world above even made it through. So yes, I was a bit confused for a moment. When we'd stepped inside (the little girl let us in and then ran and got Elmyra) I found myself feeling like I wasn't in Midgar at all, but in some nice country home in their nice country kitchen. I doubt Rufus shared the same sentiment, he simply went straight into the reason that he'd come here and didn't bother to sit (neither did Elmyra or me...or the girl).

So right now I'm trying to listen and pay attention while avoiding the little girl circling my ankles like a shark.

"….the Temple of Ancients...has she ever told me about where it may be?" Elmyra had repeated the question that Rufus asked her. The woman has brown hair pulled back into a messy ponytail; dark blue eyes, and was sporting a green dress and an apron. She'd had a broom in her hand when we first saw her, and for a wild moment I thought she'd hit us with it and chase us off once she realized exactly where we were from and who we were. Imagine that: me protecting Rufus from a broom handle.

Rufus responded by not saying anything, he just narrowed his eyes.

"Um...she never told me _where_ the Temple could be located. Why do you want to find it?" Elmyra ran hand through her hair. She seemed extremely uncomfortable with the current situation. But who could blame her? I'm sure if The President and a Turk had come into _my_ house and started demanding answers…

My gaze fell on the little girl again. With short brown hair and brown eyes of slight defiance, something told me that she wasn't actually related to Elmyra. She was still staring at me through her bangs, though now she was sitting for the first time since we came in here; her little legs were dangling off the edge of a wooden chair. Her eyes met mine and she hopped off the chair and came towards me.

"Tell me about what you _do_ know." Rufus was saying.

"What's your name?" the little girl demanded at the same time. Whatever Elmyra was saying, I was totally missing.

I wanted to ignore her and stay professional but the girl was just so cute and I couldn't stand to be rude anymore.

"What's yours?" I tried to speak as softly as possible to not draw attention to myself.

"I asked you first." The girl countered, grinning openly,.

_Wow, she's smart to say she's like five._ I silently looked over at Rufus and the woman again; he caught my eye then looked pointedly at the girl. I realized then that Elmyra was also watching. My face grew warm.

"Sorry about that." I glanced apologetically at Rufus again, and then stooped down to the girl's level. "My name is Elena." I whispered.

"Emena." She put her little hands on my knees.

Above our heads the conversation had started again. I vaguely wonder if Elmyra could even detect that Rufus and I were sorta kinda _together._ Probably not, since he was good at being indifferent towards me sometimes, if I didn't know better, I'd have to wonder as well about where we stood. Wait...I _do_ have to wonder that. Heh...heh...heh...

"…she told me she sometimes sees visions of an area off to itself...maybe some forest." Elmyra was saying.

Once again, at the same time, the girl was talking as well.

"Emena, my name is Marlene." She was obviously proud of that fact.

I couldn't help but smile. Little kids rock hard. Especially the ones that looks tooth-rottingly cute.

"So I'm _Elena,_ and you're Marlene." I ran a hand through her hair. I suddenly wish I had a piece of candy or something to give her.

"Yep. I'm Marlene and you're...Emena...Elrena..." she puffed up her cheeks again, obviously frustrated that she couldn't say my name correctly.

"_Eh-LAYN-ah _" I touched the side of her face, a smile tugging at my lips. Cute..

"Elena." She nodded. "Elena!" she gasped triumphantly.

The grin on my face brightened. "Yup."

"Elena." A totally different voice interrupted. It was Rufus.

"Sir?" I stood up, glancing apologetically at Marlene. The girl puffed up her cheeks, took one look at Rufus, then marched off in protest down a hall.

I hid a smile. "Yes, sir?"

"We're leaving now." He said simply.

_Already?_ I wanted to say, but I merely nodded and followed him, saying an awkward goodbye to Elmyra on the way out.

* * *

"You seem to have a way with children."

We'd been back in the air for about five minutes. The air wasn't tense but it wasn't exactly casual either. I'm torn between whether this is still business related or if it's more romance related. It's kinda hard not knowing whether it's appropriate now to start ...batting my eyelashes or something.

"Sorry about that, sir." I laughed softly, adjusting the the helicopter's position slightly. "I was trying to pay attention to what was being said but the girl was just so cute." I smiled to myself. I wish we could have stayed a little longer. I haven't had a pet—I played with a little kid or a cute animal since I was like sixteen.

"I'm not going to say I can relate." Rufus replied a bit coolly.

I glanced over at him; he was gazing out of the window. _Gosh, he's so hot._

Quickly I put my attention on my task again, allowing my mind to wander on anything that wasn't lust—which I totally don't do—related. I found myself thinking about our surprisingly short assignment.

"Rufus, sir." I was thoughtful.

"Hmm?" so was he apparently.

I focused on the path of sky ahead of us. "Why didn't you just send a Turk to gather information alone?"

Rufus was silent for a moment. "Sometimes, I'd rather do things myself."

I mulled this over. Hmm, I could kinda relate to that. His words seemed to have that "if you want the best results, do it yourself because other people can be unreliable" undertone. I could appreciate that. It's nice to know that he doesn't like to just sit back, give orders, and demand results _all _the time. Can't blame a person for wanting to get away from headquarters sometimes, either.

"Me too." I agreed. "So…what were we asking about?" I was slightly sheepish. I knew I was admitting to not paying as much attention as I should have. I blame Marlene.

"She told me hardly anything useful, and the things she did say we already knew. The only truly new information was about a 'keystone' that allows entry into the temple."

"The Temple of Ancients?" I chewed at a loose piece of skin on my lip. "I thought it was just legend or didn't exist?"

Rufus scoffed, almost to himself. "All legends have a ring of truth; some are just too narrow-minded to believe."

I nodded. "Oh true. I guess I've thought about it that way before." I tore the skin on my lip off. "So...what do you think is in the Temple?"

Rufus seemed mildly thoughtful. I watched him for a second but looked away quickly. I don't want him to catch me staring at him.

"Something about The Promised Land…" he seemed mostly confident in that statement.

The Promised Land, I'd heard about it and had to do a little research on it sometimes. One of our 'targets' , the infamous Sephiroth was also looking for it. We were following him at first for that reason but we kinda lost him. So we decided to follow Cloud Strife and Co. because surely they were going to find him first. All sorts of things were going on these days but not enough to make me feel that thinking about Romance was a bit too frivolous right now. Things are still pretty slow. Either way, The Promised Land-according to the talk around ShinRa-is supposed to be land filled with Mako. I have never said anything about it but I've wondered: what would Sephiroth want with mako? I've entertained the thought that The Promised Land might just be a little more abstract that that. Either way, I'm secretly glad that we aren't following the one-winged angel directly anymore. I am a little weary that the thought of meeting him face to face (though it would be cool under different circumstances). I feel a lot better having to potentially fight Cloud and his party instead of someone nothing short of superhuman.

"Oh..how are we going to find the keystone?"

"How do you think?" he questioned me.

"By following Cloud and his friends."

There was no point in actually asking, I'd just wanted more to say. We flew in silence again. The more the tower of the ShinRa building came into view the more I wished we could at least drop the business attitude—total blasphemy—and try out my new relationship muscle.

Momentary silence. I let out a sigh before I could stop myself.

"What are you thinking?"

For once, I wish he wasn't so attentive. What if it got all awkward if I told him? There's no way I'm not going to tell him though. He might be kinda...sorta..romantically involved with me but he's still my boss, therefore I'm obligated to answer him. I think…

"Nothing, really." I lied anyway, knowing it was a futile attempt. The 'business-y' feel left the air and now it was waiting to be filled depending on his next question/statement and my answer.

"Tell me. It clearly must be something." He countered my lie head-on. I could feel him watching me now.

"Rufus-sir-did you actually…mean what you said…last night?" I bit my bottom lip.

"I always say what I mean, one way or another."

"Oh..." that wasn't good enough.

"Elena, why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that I have feelings for you?" I could his eyes on me. I kept my eyes on the clouds.

I shrugged. "…it's not that...I don't know." I stared at the controls. It's like my body is doing the routine while the rest of me is talking to him.

"I think you do know, Elena."

He's right; I should tell him about my lingering thoughts and misgivings. It's already impossible for me to keep my thoughts inside for too long anyway. Besides, aren't relationships and...stuff supposed to be built on trust, right? Or something close to it?

"It's just that..." I bit my bottom lip and focused on the wide expanse of air around us and the city beneath. I couldn't look at him right now. The air in the cabin changed finally. "I dunno...I just it's still pretty unbelievable to me. I mean..." I tucked my hair back; shifted uncomfortably. Anything to distract me. "It's just all still pretty new and confusing. Though I know it's new for you too...I've never had a relationship with anyone before….and well…just a few months ago..." I trailed off, not willing to go on. I put my attention back on my task, now hoping we could be landing a bit sooner.

"A mere few months ago?" he pushed me along.

"Well..." I bit my lip. "A few months ago you didn't even talk to me. I don't even think you knew my name."

"I'm pretty sure I knew your name."

I looked over at him, meeting his eyes. It was something that always had bothered me, the way he acted like I was insignificant earlier that day and then paid me so much attention later. I wanted to know what was going through his head, like when I asked him why he chose me. He still hasn't given me a direct answer. I wouldn't demand one now...but maybe one day I might.

"No...you didn't. And even if you did…." I shook my head. "You called me Edna. And...I know I might just be being silly and overly-feminine for like the first time in my life but I notice how you call others by the wrong name all the time because they are insignificant to you—though that may just be deliberate. I-I'm not doubting you're..." I looked ahead again. "Your feelings or anything, I guess. I just want..." I shrugged wishing the movement would convey everything. "I dunno…reassurance or something that you, Rufus Shinra, actually are interested in me of all people somehow and I'm just not fabricating things as I go along." I stopped myself, realizing that I'd said more than I wanted to.

The silence is deafening but it doesn't last long.

"Elena."

"Sir?" I tried to seem neutral and totally calm. It didn't work. _Pleeeease don't say you'll talk to me later._

"I will not reassure anything to you, Elena. You'll just have to get over your insecurities."

"Right..." that's not what I wanted to say, I wanted to argue the point, I don't think I got my thoughts across correctly. I just nodded stiffly and paid attention to what I was doing. We were already close to landing anyway. "Sorry about that."

"About what?"

I glanced over at him, he was watching me with his arms crossed, I expected him to be frowning or something, but no his face was practically devoid of any obvious emotion. "About…what I just said."

Rufus shrugged ever so lightly. "There's no need to apologize. _You're_ not the only one that questions my motives."

I looked back at the sky and adjusted our altitude. Mostly, to have something to do other than watch him. I can't help but wonder...does he know what I know? Or does he know that I know that he knows I know? Or...wait...what is it that I know I know that he knows? Or does he know that I know what someone else knows that he knows that I knows what he thinks I know that he knows I know? I'm confusing myself.

"Um…really?" I bit my lip.

He didn't answer me. Maybe because we were about to land and he was waiting to answer me after both our feet were on the ground and he could have my undivided attention. I stayed silent too, and guided the helicopter down onto the pad.

* * *

"Sorry about almost killing us...I hope the bird that hit the windshield can sympathize." I joked softly, unbuckling my seatbelt, sliding open the door, and jumping out. I stumbled slightly, and decided to lean against the helicopter for a moment.

Yes. I hit a bird.

"Let's hope it will." Rufus said airily, looking around the landing site with a slight indifference. He cast a look in my direction. Abrupt shivers shot down my back.

"Well…back to work…I have to report to Tseng, right..." I attempted to be business like. "Sir?"

Rufus ran a hand through his hair, tossing those usual strands from his face. "Of course. You know...we got back earlier than estimated."

We began to walk toward the door that would take us back inside. We were talking business but the air around us didn't feel anything like business. We entered the building. If anyone was around, I wonder if they would have noticed the air around us. Or..maybe it was just a private thing that was either reserved for my twisted mind, or the both of us.

"Um..Rufus?" I stopped before we reached the end of the hall. I had something else I wanted to get off my chest; I figured I might as well ask him now so that I won't have another unexpected 'outburst' or something. I can't help but feel just a bit vulnerable after pouring out a few of my innermost thoughts about the guy in question _to_ the guy in question. Especially when his reaction was not anything what I would have expected.

"Yes?" he stopped too, regarding me with interest in his eyes.

"Um..." I bit my bottom lip and looked down at the ground; sometimes it was hard to hold eye contact with him.

His hand briefly entered my vision; he cupped my chin and lifted my face up to his so I could meet his eyes. My stomach clenched uncomfortably. I could include butterflies but that's just a little too much. _Am I going to be like this every time he touches me?_

"I'm listening, Elena. Try to look at me when you talk." that ever-present smirk played gently on his lips.

I swallowed, feeling his fingers trace my jaw line. I managed to nod somehow. "I'll try...sorry about that." I coughed.

"So what were you saying?" he continued to trace my face.

_I wonder if he realizes how hard it is to think when someone is doing that?!_

"Um...are we allowed to tell anyone else about us?"

Rufus raised an eyebrow. "Why should we? What would be the point?"

"Because..." I gestured hopelessly. "I don't know...I mean...because…"

He pulled me close to him, my heart started beating just a little too fast behind my ribs, almost painfully so. Instantly I wanted to protest that we could definitely be seen by anyone that bothered to walk by. I wanted to ask him if he realized that this was a very busy part of the day and no one would be expecting to see him and one of his Turks standing this close together…more importantly with their lips almost touching…but I didn't say of a word. Of course.

His arms circled my waist; he drew me closer until my chest was pressed against his. Heat rose into my face as our lips met for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. Though, I can't lie and say my mind was going blank and all of my lingering thoughts were suddenly disappearing, I was beginning to forget the fact that we could be seen by anyone heading down this hall or _coming back from assignment_ as he deepened the kiss.

An unexpected rush flooded my nerves and a little noise escaped me. I blushed in spite of myself, hoping he hadn't heard that. My arms found their way in place around his neck, my fingers brushed the soft hair resting at the nape of his neck. My body was relaxing and my senses totally engaged to what he was doing to the inside of my mouth—and hopefully vice versa—when he ended it.

I didn't want to let him go, but I did. We don't need security thinking I was molesting him or something.

Looking up at him, I'm sure my cheeks are glowing. I could never get used to this feeling. Especially not when sharing it with Rufus Shinra of all people. I vaguely wondered if anyone walking by could tell something was going on. We were still in quite close proximity from each other. I mean really, the smell of his really nice cologne was probably on my uniform, just waiting for me to get home and sniff it like a stalker.

My thoughts scattered from my mind.

"Elena..."

"Sir-"

He put a finger to my lips and ran it slowly across, causing an involuntary shudder of nothing short of pleasure to run through me.

"..this stays between us."

I might have wanted to protest this but all coherent thought became jumbled like yarn. I nodded.

"Of course." I finally agreed when he stopped tracing my lips.

"I'm glad we agree." He pushed back a strand of my hair. "You should go file your report.."

I blushed, nodding. "Yes." I tried to regain business-like composure. I stopped back a few inches from him, mostly so I wouldn't dissolve into a puddle. "Sir. Um..you're right. I have to report to Tseng."

"I'll see you later then, Elena. Try to have a passable afternoon."

I wanted to proclaim that his kissing had already made my day more than passable. Instead, I attempted to keep my business-like stoic manner.

"Of course, I'll try. You too, sir."

He smirked, for the second time today I wonder if he can read minds. He left me standing there for a sweet stunned moment, until I realized he was leaving and rushed to keep up with him.

We continued down the hall in relative silence, the air about us was calm enough I guess. My mind was reeling. I don't know why hearing him tell me that our relationship is going to stay only between us made me wonder why. I had figured he would want it to stay that way, but I...just...I dunno. Anyway, when we parted ways I headed for my office, feeling only a little lightheaded. I definitely am not looking forward to my mandatory meeting with Tseng, but at the same time I am.

* * *

I made my way up to my office alone, thinking about Rufus the entire way up the winding stairs. As I expected, when I reached the area, Tseng's office was closed, but I knew he was in there. "Sir?" I knocked softly then put my hand on the knob and turned, pushing the door open slightly and peering in.

Tseng was sitting at his desk, reading a file, a few strands of his long black hair hanging down in his face. He looked up at me, then back at his work. I came in silently and shut the door, standing there with my arms behind my back, waiting on him to say something. Finally, he put the document down.

"You're back earlier than expected."

"Yes...I know. Tseng, sir, I just want you to know I'm back and I'm about to write up my report about my assignment with The President." I waited for him to answer.

"Okay." Tseng didn't bother to make eye contact and for that I'm glad. I knew I would have instantly began defending and explaining how nothing _but_ business happened the entire time. Which is a lie.

"That'll be all then..." I moved to close the door then paused. "Sir, do you know if Reno and Rude are back yet?"

"No..." Tseng looked up finally. "Do you wish to talk about it now?"

I shifted from one foot to the other. I want to but at the same time I don't. It's not as if I can tell him the truth. Not really.

"But...sir? Don't you...aren't you busy?" I eyed the few documents on his desk.

"Not really. I have a little time." He rested his head on his hand and watched me calmly.

_You're really making it hard to leave, Tseng!_

"Oh thank you so much Tseng, sir." I closed the door, walking toward his desk I wondered how I would put this. I sat down and stared at my folded hands in my lap.

"Well?" Tseng sounded patient enough.

What was he thinking? Did he think I was going to confess something or am I just being paranoid?

"I just wanted to apologize…for getting my feathers ruffled when you accused me of—no not accused, that sounds so bad. "I laughed in a weird way. Absentmindedly, I moved his glass paperweight around.

Tseng's hand was suddenly on mine, heat rushed into my face. My wide eyes stared at his hand on mine, and then looked into his eyes.

"Sir?"

_He's not about to profess his love to me is he?!_ The thought goes through my head for a split second and my stomach tightens. Then I realize he was just trying to make me stop my irritating fidgeting.

"You're right, Elena." He took his hand off mine. "I think I _may_ have let my imagination get away from me." He didn't seem to want to admit that, a slight frown graced his features.

"Oh sir, I'm..." I chewed inside of my lip, drawing blood from the already abused skin. "Sir...thank you."

If only he knew just how right his imagination was. A twinge of guilt flashed through me. I wish I could tell him about Rufus and I. I can't help but wonder _why _he wouldn't want anyone to know. Security reasons? Somehow, I highly doubt that.

"You're welcome." He smiled slightly. I filed it away in my memory.

My stomach did a weird flop. I swallowed, feeing my face flush. "Um.." a feeling I hope is a rush of gratitude toward Tseng made the heat in my face increase.

"Sir, do you have anything you might want me to do?" a hand through my hair. "Like get you some coffee or some late lunch? I doubt you've had any. You work so hard sir. It's admirable. So um...so anything?"

Tseng's eyebrows raised, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I _do_ have something to receive from Reeve and something else from the Weapon's Department...but I'll do that myself." His gaze dropped back to his work. "Go complete your written report." He waved me away.

I nodded and stood up, but otherwise didn't move. I looked down at him working hard as usual. A smile tugged at my lips. He sighed thoughtfully, scratched something out, then continued to write.

"Elena."

I jumped slightly, forgetting he was aware of my presence. "…sir?"

"You _are_ dismissed, you know." He didn't bother to look up at me, he turned to his computer instead.

"Of course. I'm sorry. Bye, sir." I headed for the door—luckily not tripping—and opened it.

"Have a nice afternoon, Elena."

I could feel the heat rise into my face before I stubbed my boot against the wall. I coughed. How said, I can't even walk straight when he merely tells me to have a nice afternoon. "Thank you sir. You, I hope, have a nice a nice afternoon too." I laughed for no reason and hurried from his office to mine.

I went to my office. I tried to concentrate on writing an accurate report about today. Several times, however, I wrote about how hot Rufus was instead of something less incriminating. My mind was in a jumble of emotions, thoughts, and remembered sensations. By the time I finished it was dark and kinda late. I could hear Reno and Rude returning to their offices. My first mind was to greet them but I wasn't ready to face any crazy questions Reno might have while I was already filled with so many of my own.

* * *

I adjusted my grip on the heavy plastic bags on my arms and attempted for the second time to get my keys out of my pocket. The option of bothering my neighbor across the hall entered my mind, but I shot that down. I never talked to them, so it would be weird to talk to me now. What would they think when the random girl with the job that requires her to wear a dark suit, came to their door and asked them to dig in her pants or hold her bags? I wouldn't respect them at all if they didn't slap me and/or tell me where to shove that key.

"Ooh, I could kick the door down." I grumbled sarcastically to myself. I put the bags down and dug my key out of my pocket. "Maybe I should give in and start wearing purses."

Technically, I own purses. I just hardly wear them. Not because I'm making some dramatic self-involved stand against the oppression of females and purses. They just aren't practical to me—unless I was going to slap someone to death with it-and I have this adorable totally _un_-harebrained tendency to lose purses. A lot. I _always_ leave them behind. Always. There are no exceptions. _None._

Pushing the door open I ran my hand along the wall and found the light switch. I sighed wearily at my purchases. I really don't feel like picking them up. I grabbed them and carried them inside, put them on the kitchen counter, then went back for my key and shut the door. I flung the keys on the coffee table—they skidded and fell on the floor—and cut off the light, and turned on a lamp instead.

I feel unsettled. I don't want to unpack my groceries, and my mind is still reeling.

_Sara_. Maybe I can talk to her about things until I get tired. People say that 'girl talk' is good for the soul or something. I've never had girl talk because I hang around guys...but it's worth a shot. I picked up the phone, found her number on a slip of paper, and dialed it. I listened to the phone ringing on the other line. I chewed my lip and waited. What if she's busy? What if she wasn't expecting my call? What if she thought I was just being totally frivolous? I'm never comfortable calling people on their personal time.

"Hello?" her voice suddenly filled my ear.

"Sara? Hi. I hope its okay that I called." I put a finger to my teeth and bit at the nail.

"Elena?" her neutral tone brightened suddenly. "I was just thinking about you. It's definitely a pleasure to hear a friendly voice. It's no bother at all."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I had such a bad day." She sighed. "Scarlet rejected my second prototype for the snake sword, asking if it was even a necessary weapon. I thought that was very rich coming from someone that loves having us design things out of her fanatical and destructive fantasies. But, I digress." She let out a breath.

"Oh, I see." I laughed softly. "You must be really down if you're openly annoyed with her. I personally think your sword rocks. You're amazing." I grinned to myself.

Sara was silent for a moment. "Thank you. I'm glad to hear it from you."

"Aww shucks, you're just saying that." I laughed, shifting on the couch and drawing my knees to my chest slightly. "I'm sure you have much cooler friends."

"Not true." I could hear her moving around. "You are definitely worth talking to."

I smiled brighter, listening to her doing whatever she was doing. I could hear music in the background.

"What are you up to?" I asked, trying to imagine.

"Oh. I'm outside on the terrace walking around and looking at the sky. I'm just restless right now. I'm thinking about eating something.."

I nodded to the phone. "Me too actually, I was thinking about chocolate cake. I just went shopping after work. Speaking of work and coworkers, how are you and Reno?"

Sara sighed airily.

"That bad, huh?" I pulled back the urge to say a very girly "aww".

"What?" Sara's voice got flat, which made me laugh. "I don't...no. No.._that bad_ is far from correct."

I chortled softly. "So you and Reno aren't going on another date?"

"He hasn't asked." She didn't sound especially sad about that fact. Maybe she doesn't really find herself fond of Reno. I can't say that's a bad thing. It would be weird if they started dating, got into a fight, and then I had to stand between them and their awkward silences.

"And you're not encouraging it?" I tore the tip of a fingernail off and chewed thoughtfully. "Don't you like him?"

Sara sighed. "He's likable and all..."

_Lucky her. She only has one man to worry about. I have two_.

"I had a...eventful day too, if you're curious."

Sara's tone sounded relieved. "Tell me about it, please."

I got up off the couch, pushed the speaker button, and put the receiver in the cradle. "Alright, I will." With my hands free, I slipped out of my jacket and boots. "I went on assignment with President Rufus."

Heat rose into my face in spite of myself. How glad I am that Sara can't see me.

"Oh?" she seemed interested.

"Yes." I picked the phone up again and fell back in an armchair, draping my legs over the arms. "It was a pretty short assignment…." I nodded, touching my lips almost without thinking. I wish I could add that we shared a kiss sometime after.

"What is Rufus ShinRa like with you?"

I nibbled my bottom lip. "He's like he always is I guess. Though I was nervous at first. He was generally more concerned with business than talking to me."

Which totally isn't a lie.

"Oh, I've had a few encounters with Rufus Shinra myself. He told me he was impressed with my weapons once." She sounded proud of that fact.

"He knew you designed them?" I ran a hand through my hair.

_I want some icecream. Or cake. Cake works too. Anything completely unhealthy for middle of the night eating is fine._

"Yes, I think his exact words were…'that idiot woman, Scarlet clearly didn't create it' Then he went on to say that she often took credit from her department. He said he also knew that she couldn't have made it because she enjoys draining a lot of company money into her projects which are always big and useless. He apparently knows everything that goes on at the company."

"Really?"

_Points for Rufus._

"Certainly. I'm not surprised he's not fond of the other executives." I commented, grinning broadly. I was a little happy with that bit of knowledge about him.

"Yeah, probably. Can I ask? What do you think will happen with you and your guy friend you're so fond of?"

I was silent. I didn't expect her to say that at all. _I couldn't really answer that, I need to think on it._

"Elena?" she said, bringing me back to the present.

"I'm still here. Give me a moment? I want to grab something out of the kitchen."

"Okay."

I put the phone down and got up, heading for the kitchen. Her question ran through my head like a marquee. I got a pint of newly purchased ice-cream and a spoon. By the time I returned I still had no answer. I settled this time back on the couch, nestling my pint near the arm of it.

"Back. I have the answer to that question." I opened the top and shoved the spoon in. "I wanted to know first what provoked that thought." I spun the spoon around in the white cookie-filled goodness.

"Oh..." Sara was quiet for a moment. "I was just wondering how you viewed commitment and possible future plans with him. If you don't want to tell me...that's fine."

I wish I could see the look on her face.

"I don't know..I haven't thought _that _far into things yet. " I ran a hand through my hair. I wonder if she can detect the tone of my voice. Would it reveal that I was a bit confused?

"Technically isn't everyone a person dates a potential candidate for marriage?"

"Marriage?!" I almost choked on the second spoonful. I swallowed and winced at a slight but short headache.

"I'm sorry..maybe I'm jumping the gun…" she said almost to herself.

Marriage?! That's the farthest thing from my mind! I don't even know much of anything about him, and I barely even know myself, and …Marriage?! I am surprised I'm not hyperventilating right now. _Marriage?! Mrs. Elena Shinra?!_

"Maybe you are…oh my gods.." licked the spoon thoughtfully. "Hmm...Mrs. Elena Shinra..."

"What? Did you just say Mrs. Elena Shinra?"

"What?"

"Maybe I'm hearing things..."

"Heheh…maybe you are. So... I ask your advice on something? Or your opinion." I quickly said, it was better to change the subject before she put one and one together and got five. Or something like that. "I'd really appreciate it, you seem like a really smart girl and stuff. Unless you're tired….then I'll let you go to sleep.." I brought the cold ice-cream filled spoon back to my lips and licked off the top. This is almost better than kissing Rufus. _Almost._

"I'd love to give you advice, though I'm not that wise." she sighed softly.

I licked the empty spoon before shoving it back into the mass. "You're very wise I'm sure."

"Compliments will get you anywhere." She chuckled softly. "So, how can I help you?"

"Well..." I paused and ate more ice-cream. "Okay, hypothetically, what if there was a man that wanted to kinda hide your relationship with him...what do you think your reaction would be?" I spooned out a bigger amount of ice cream.

Sara drew out her next words as if she was thinking while she was saying them. "Well..I would…ask...him...why. Perhaps you should ask him why?"

"It's not about me its hypothetical-" I demanded, knowing that she didn't buy it.

"So your boyfriend wants to hide your relationship?"

"Well he didn't...exactly _say_ that. And it's such a new relationship...sometimes...I have to remind myself...and convince myself that it's real."

"Well...he's trying to hide something? Wait…..how would you know?" she 'hmmed'. "Do you want the relationship to be hidden? Or do you _want_ your colleagues and friends to celebrate such an occasion?"

I was silent once again. "Well I like the excitement of being secretive, but at the time I would love to be able to tell you and Reno and Rude and the world that _I _might just have him."

"Well you should discuss it with him. In fact, you should discuss everything with him. Relationships are supposed to be about communication. Did you tell him your wishes?"

"Well.." I hesitated, knowing she wouldn't like the answer. "No. Besides, isn't it too soon for us to be having heart-to-hearts? I mean..we've only been together officially for like..." I gestured hoplessly.

"For like?"

"Actually…I'm not sure." I mixed the ice-cream around mindlessly. _I have more questions than answers._

"Ahh…..you aren't sure where you stand with him even now? You know a date doesn't merit a relationship." She commented softly.

"I know _that_." I felt just a little defensive. "It's just that I am…I barely know him and I just can't help wondering why he would genuinely all for me of all people." I ate more ice cream just to numb my thoughts, and possibly my brain itself.

Sara spoke so softly I could barely hear her. "Anyone would want you Elena."

"You're speaking too softly, I can barely hear you."

"Elena." She sighed. "You two have to communicate. Don't let him express his wishes without stating your own. That could cause an unwanted pattern in your relationship's potential."

I put the empty carton of ice cream on the coffee table, my hands were cold. Leaning back I closed my eyes and continued to talk.

"I…know. I'll try to tell him if I don't get distracted." I bit my lip. _I always seem to get deliciously distracted._

"Good. Elena…do you like _him_ or whatever he may stand for?"

"What do you mean? Are you saying I only want Ru-him because of his potential status?" I could feel my voice getting a little tight. I'd never thought about it like that, but it still sucked for her to be suggesting it. I know how I feel about Rufus, at least. Kinda. I'd love it if I didn't have to start questioning _that_ too, just because of a simple suggestion.

"Please don't get defensive. It's merely a thought." Sara sounded painfully soft.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth until it got sore and threatened to bleed. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's just that…I _know_ that's not the reason. I always….he's a mystery, that's for sure, but I think I could get him to open up to me. I know I sound like one of those crazy women that end up as sad stories because they think they can change the man they love…" I trailed off, trying to imagine myself as one of those types of women and failing horribly. The dead silence on the other line was suddenly obvious. "Sara?"

"You don't _love_ him, yet do you?"

"No." I quickly answered. "Not at all. I admire him, I'm attracted to him, I think he's really interesting and intelligent and I badly want to know more about him, and he makes me feel good sometimes.." My face grew hot. "But, I don't love him. Not yet. It's too soon for _that_...wow..too soon."

Honestly, I couldn't even imagine what that felt like. How would that look? Me telling Rufus that I..wow..just wow. And what would he say? I couldn't see those three words coming out of his mouth even if I could see myself saying them to him.

"Good." She sighed to herself. "I was worried that you were one of those types that thought they were in love after about two days. Love doesn't work that way."

"What about love at first sight?" I joked softly.

"Lust. Infactuation. Temporary insanity. Maybe...but _definitely_ not love."

I vaguely wondered if she believed in soul-mates but I didn't ask. That'd just make me sound incredibly naïve.

"You seem to have experience with love." I stared at the ceiling.

I heard a wistful sigh, very unlike what I was used to from Sara. I raised an eyebrow.

"You could say that." She finally responded.

I wanted to ask, but my mind was already full and she probably wasn't willing to tell me. I want to respect her privacy as she does for me. Pressing people for answers isn't something that would make people want to tell me things. Maybe I could teach that lesson to Reno?

"Oh. Hey, have you ever had totally different yet totally similar feelings for two people at the same time? Did it make you feel guilty?" I bit at the sticky coating on my fingers. It's true…I can't deny the weird feelings that occur still when I'm around Tseng. Unrequited and maybe unwanted, they may be, but they still existed.

I couldn't help but feel that Rufus was oblivious to none of it. Maybe I should bring that up too? Or not.

"Yes and no. It's hard to explain, right?"

I nodded dumbly at the phone.

"Elena?"

"Yeah. Sorry, yeah." I shifted slightly and stifled a yawn. "Think that's a bad thing?"

Sara laughed softly; her mood seemed to have lightened. "Definitely not. When you get more familiar with yourself and your heart—excuse me for sounding so cliché—you'll make the right choice, right? Tell me, does the other guy in question also have interest in you?"

I scoffed. "I don't think so."

"Ahh..I see." She was silent for a long time after that. I wanted so badly to ask her what she was thinking but I stayed quiet.

When she finally spoke again, I jumped in surprise.

"Well..my only advice to you would be.." she trailed off muttering something to herself that sounded like 'surely the pot is calling the kettle black, I can't even take my own advice'. "..don't put too much stock into the one that doesn't realize your lingering affections. You already have someone that might just desire you...and you shouldn't jeopardize that with wishful thinking. Besides.." she sighed lightly. "You tell me you like your 'boyfriend' a lot, so there is really no point in still dreaming of the other. Let it go, though it may be hard." She scoffed warmly to herself. "I should follow probably take a page out of that book as well."

I sat up with interest. "Oh? Who do you have unrequited feelings for?"

"I..you...wouldn't understand..." she faltered. "..No one."

"You're not going to tell me are you?" I smiled up at the ceiling. It's nice to talk to someone like this. I guess 'girl talk' is okay, if not exhausting. "Maybe I wouldn't understand.."

"I'm sorry; no…I don't think it'd be such a good idea to say much more about that."

We lingered in silence for a moment. Her words weren't allowing too many hints. For a moment I tried to figure out who it could be, for a split second I wondered if it could be someone I knew like Rude or something, but I dismissed that thought. Finally, the silence got a little weird and I'd rather not waste dead air, so I changed the subject to something less …iffy..

"So…have you updated that net thing you showed me when I first met you?"

"Oh! Yes I have!" her tone brightened considerably.

We continued to talk about various things, mostly pertaining to electronics and other gadgets. Though the talking was fun, in the back of my mind I couldn't wait to finally have some time to mill over the thoughts brewing in my head. It was almost one o'clock in the morning when our bodies wouldn't let us stay awake any longer. I told her goodnight then hung up. After putting on my pajamas—the same drooling Chocobo on the top—I fell into bed face down.

I didn't think I ever was going to get to sleep, I couldn't understand any of my thoughts, and they rushed together in a jumble. Finally, I gave up on logical thinking and just took the 'love-struck schoolgirl- route: fantasizing about Rufus kissing me again. I just hope it doesn't lead into any lewd dreams about "chess"……

* * *

--

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_**Goodwitch2008: Well how are you enjoying it? I hope you guys liked it. I wasn't expecting this chapter to be so long but I'm sure you guys don't mind. I'd love to know in a review what you think about this chapter. What did you think about Sara? Marlene? Rufus? I want to remind you all all that almost everything he says has the potential of having double or even triple meanings.**_

_**I'd love to hear your answers in a review (see how I keep "cleverly" coming back to hinting at you guys reviewing?)**_

_**I want to give a thank you to Lin Hikaru-7 for dealing with me (only you know how crazy I can be) and my confusing trains of thought. Mainly about the section of this chapter I'd asked for a little assistance with and then decided to change all together.**_

_**Am I getting better at writing kisses? I surely hope so...I think I've found my problem though.**_

**_Oh yes, before I forget. I have something I want to tell all of my readers and potential readers. I'm starting college (omg freshman!) in less than a week. I might _not _be able to update as _often _but I still will update trust me._**

**In addition, if you're interested, I'd like to bring to attention that I completely edited chapter one so if anyone would like to refresh their memory and reread it, by all means do so. I would love to hear your feedback on the minor changes and edits of chapter one in an effort to make the first few chapters better than they are.**

_**-goodwitch2008**_

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_**Question of the day: How do you think Sara would react to finding out about Elena and Rufus?**_

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	16. Irrational

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**Chapter 16**

_**Irrational**_

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Before I knew it the meeting was over. I was listening but it was hard to do while my thoughts were chasing themselves around in circles creating an endless cycle that I'd been cursed with since I woke up this morning. Stuff I'd talked to Sara about had triggered thoughts in my mind that I'd rather not think about and they were all involving a certain blond President. I tried not to stare at Rufus for too long, especially when he was addressing the executives and I tried to stay as silent as possible. Luckily, Reno didn't harass me today, he was too caught up in what was being said because most likely it would result in him and probably Rude going on an assignment—without me. I listened and took mental notes as they discussed the next set of plans and Reeve mentioned that Cloud and his friends are now nearing Nibelheim. Every time I thought I was completely focused, my eyes would catch Rufus's and I felt like everyone else noticed it too. Keeping something like this to myself wasn't easy, especially when he _requests_ that I keep it to myself. He didn't seem affected by it, but I certainly did. I fidgeted, coughed, looked around the room at various things but never at people.

When the meeting ended I wasn't able to leave as quickly as I wished.

Now I'm trying to gather my things fast enough to leave before the last person leaves, which was the weird guy that is the head of the Space Exploration department. Palmer. I didn't say anything to him and he didn't say anything to me, for that I am glad. I ended up lingering at the folder Tseng gave me before we entered the conference room, acting as if I were straightening documents and looking for something until he left first.

Tucking my hair behind my ears, I grabbed the folder and mentally sentenced myself to desk work while heading for the door. I went out into the hall and received a shock in my peripheral vision. My fingers almost released what I was holding; I tightened my grip and turned to him.

Rufus was coming down the hall alone. I hugged the folder to my chest as if it'd give me the ability to speak without asking him to retract his sexiness or something along those lines. It's too early in the morning for this! I managed to keep myself walking forward.

"Sir." I nodded, trying to be as normal as possible, which is a long shot.

"Elena." he responded, and walked on past.

I bit my lip and continued on my way, half of me really wished he would have said more than just my name in such an employee-that-you-haven't-sexually-harassed way.

* * *

"Hi, Elena. I'm glad you could make it."

Sara's smile was so soft and real that I felt almost weird to have her looking at me so warmly. Maybe it's because people don't smile often around here as opposed to sexy/evil smirks every once in a while. She was standing near the door , immaculate as ever with her professionally perfect clothes and lab coat. She held a clipboard in one hand and was tapping a pen against it with the other.

"Hey." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "When Tseng told me to come down here I was glad. At least I don't have to do paper work—which is okay too but I just feel so very useless and ignored sometimes you know?" I bit my lip, stopping myself. "I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want me to talk your ear off once again. I bet you had enough of that last night..heh...thank you for listening by the way..I'd never had a girl talk before." my face grew warm; I pinched my thighs through my pockets. "Now you think I'm weird or something."

She must think I am! She hadn't said a word yet.

"Please say something...the staring is creepy." my left hand resurfaced from my pockets and through my hair.

"Sorry." she shook her head, smiling. "You're just so cute." she tapped her clipboard. "And trust me..I don't think you're weird and I enjoyed listening to you..."

Sara placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled down at me; suddenly I realized that she is a bit taller than I am—not saying that I'm short or anything. Maybe it's the heels. Whatever it is, it's nice to have someone that's normal and not all confusing. Being around people who are always saying one thing and meaning another makes my head hurt sometimes. So yes..it's nice to have someone that is at least halfway normal—no one that works here is allowed to be totally normal—even if she looks like she should be strutting some catwalk or something. Wait why are they called catwalks? What cat? There's a cat? Walking?! What's sexy about a cat's walk and why would...okay whatever. The thing is, I'm glad there is nothing weird about her whatsoever.

"You know Sara, I'm glad you're normal." I grinned.

Her pencil tapped the clipboard in her arms. She glanced up at me and then back at the board, flipping a sheet, letting it fall back into place, and then making a mark on something. "Heh, normal is overrated but thank you." the tapping stopped, she looked around the room. "Ah, guess what? We have new weapons to try. One really—and I worked on that net prototype again."

I nodded, watching her walk around to a small table and grab the sheet though she did nothing to it. I eyed it, I can't wait to lose myself in some dangerous weaponry that shouldn't even be legal or in existence! Hah! Take that guys! You might be on assignments and Tseng might be busy but I am—ahh never mind. At least I'm not doing desk work.

"_I_ am the alpha dog of paperwork." my fist pumped in the air.

"What?"

"Nothing." I brought my fist down."Ignore that."

"..."

"Really."

Sara raised an eyebrow and blinked. "Right..." she trailed off pulling out a big black hair tie and putting that long dark goodness in a loose ponytail. "So...here we go."

The weird silence passed and my attention was once again on what was beneath the sheet. There were only three weapons and then her net thing that looked a little different now. It's not a mystery to anyone that knows me very well that I like technology; several times I've fondly called myself a Technology-whore. That is the only time the W word can be used affectionately towards me. Because I am one, a low whistle escaped me before I could stop myself.

A soft laugh was heard from Sara as she disappeared from my vision to the wall where she could observe at a safe distance.

"Hey...Sara." I headed to the only familiar weapon first. "Won't you need to help me with this?"

Silence. Turning around I saw her already writing things on her clipboard.

"I think it's really admirable how you're so into your work." I picked up one of the net guns...it's surprisingly lighter, almost like a feather.

She looked up—only at the net gun—and wrote.

"New lightweight frame may be practical." she muttered.

Cute. All into her work like that! Makes me feel a lot less like a workaholic. If I know anything about getting someone out of that mode ….yelling is very effective.

"SARA!"

Her shoulders tensed slightly. "Elena. Please." she looked up. "My hearing hasn't been damaged _yet_, don't do that."

"Heh. Sorry. Um..." I swung it around. "Won't I need you too?"

She blinked as if coming out of a very understandable trance. Laughing softly she put down her clipboard and joined me. Sara picked up the other one and explained the changes she'd made to it since last time while we fired them. In addition to it being lighter and a bit smaller it was a little more accurate because it apparently has microchips inside that will detect its partner regardless of distance or location—providing the operators are at least in range of each other and release the nets at the same time.

"So...how do you know if the net can hold a person falling at a high speed?" I asked as we watched them automatically retract.

Sara looked slightly sheepish, which was a weird thing I usually expected on the face of people like Reno. Mischievous, naughty, and up to bad things. Maybe he's rubbing off on her?! Bad.

"Well.." she placed her Net gun down. "I haven't told Scarlet yet, some colleagues of mine experimented."

Interesting. The way she said it told me that they probably weren't in lab coats and goggles.

"How?" I traced the cold metal contours of the weapon, not really paying attention to what I was doing.

Her brown eyes focused on the ceiling. "Two men of totally different sizes..er...jumped and then two female volunteers were shoved off."

"Of _what_?" I couldn't hide my surprise if I tried.

"Buildings."

"_What _buildings?" the image of happy leapers jumping into uncertainty...

"This one actually."

"Wow. But..you don't mean.." I sat down on the weapon's table.

She nodded. "The ShinRa Tower. Right off of the seventieth floor."

I couldn't imagine Rufus actually _allowing _it, let alone n_ot knowing _about it. Rufus knows _everything _which should disturb me to some degree. Eh..yeah..

"Don't worry, The President was completely behind it after we all signed waivers about how he or the company would not hold any responsibility if anyone should slam into the unforgiving pavement and suffer a swift death afterward."

"Ahh..." I slapped my forehead. "Sounds just like him."

Sara nodded. "Yes, he's very ambitious and open to new ideas that could benefit the company."

"Eh.." I kept the flood of opinions to myself.

"Yeah, I know right. So...there are the other three."

One was a magic enhanced laser gun. The other was a Gunblade, with the 'blade' part having snake-sword tendencies. The last was a...nail gun.

"A nail gun?" I tried to hide my confusion.

Sara shrugged from her safe distance. "I have nothing to say about that, it's not my invention, idea, design, or enhancement. In fact I have no idea why the creator calls it a nail gun."

"Right...and it makes it interesting which is why I'm going to try it first."

It was heavy and a dark red color. Sara gave me a 'reassuring' smile and returned to her clipboard, jotting things down before I even got in a position. I aimed at a target in the shape of a person on the opposite end where no glass windows were. My eyes focused on the red dot at the center, my finger twitched on the trigger.

"Ohh..Scarlet's walking past." Sara suddenly commented, her voice so soft I could hardly hear. "And she doesn't look pleased so that's not good...but she's busy so maybe she won't stop by.."

Curious, I looked up towards the windows that showed into the annex of the Weapons Department and caught a shock: Rufus was with her. They were coming to a stop. Rufus was talking while the older blond woman in red was trying to hold herself back from either interrupting or carving a hole in him.

"Probably asking for more funding for this Department for some new random scheme..." Sara muttered.

We watched as Rufus did something _else_.

He took a document from her hand, calmly, and then handed it back to her—in pieces. The ripping process was so smooth I'm surprised she caught it. He seemed pleased with the look on her face.

"Think he gets enjoyment out of pissing people off?" I muttered, watching him deliver the last few—cutting I'm sure—words. _Gosh, he's hot even when he's being a cocky, arrogant, bastard of a human._

"Possibly."

"Yeah me--"

He looked directly at me causing my words to get caught in my throat. A second later he strolled off leaving Scarlet to march off with bits of torn paper floating behind. I knew I was supposed to be doing something but for the life of me I can't remember what that is. Suddenly, I want to follow him and talk to him about...

"Well that's done. You can shoot now."

Her voice registered somewhere and my eyes fell back on the target. I pushed the trigger, there was a click and I expected to see the end result on the target. Instead, pain shot through my hand and up my arm.

"Ahh!"

The gun clattered to the ground. I stared in disbelief at the thick red blood sliding down my arm, across my hand, and dripping steadily onto the floor. A long medium sized piece of nail shaped metal sat in my torn skin. Through the haze of pain and confusion felt Sara steer me into an adjoining, smaller area.

My hand throbbed as each pulse sent more pain searing through my nerves and more blood down the red streams. _How in the world did I just do this?_

Sara led me to a chair and somehow I sat down. I watched her hands take my bloody wrist, push back my sleeve, and hold out my hand painfully. "This will hurt but I have to get it out before using Materia." her voice said, a slight edge to it. I stared at the wound and vaguely noted the blueish glow around the 'nail'. Ice?? Would that explain the painful feeling up to my elbow like having one's hand in ice for far too long? It burns!

"Did...I just shoot myself in the hand?" I wasn't really talking to Sara, just asking the pain sitting there in my hand.

"It almost went clean through." she muttered.

Discomfort shot through my arm again, I winced involuntarily.

"Ouch.." I bit my lip. The blood didn't seem to be ready to stop, the pain worsened.

"I'll make it as quick as possible."

"How does someone shoot themselves in the hand?! I had no idea that I'd even put my hand in front of the gun. Gods, who does that? Not Reno, Rude, or Tseng I bet..."

"...it was just an accident.." she pulled at the nail. The fresh wound cried as the nail began to rise from my hand at Sara's command. It was much longer than it looked at first.

"An accident that other people wouldn't make! Oh my gods if he hadn't walked by I wouldn't have suddenly gone retarded and shot myself. I mean come on!"

"You'll probably be laughing about this by tomorrow..."

She was trying to be helpful but it just made me feel all the more stupid. I opened my mouth to protest but instead bit my lip a little harder. The nail was starting to come out faster, revealing more of it's length that was coated in a layer of my blood. I closed my eyes, knowing that seeing it would make it worse. _Don't whimper ouch ouch!_ I tried to keep myself from wriggling and carrying on.

And it was gone. Soon to be replaced by a cold wet feeling above the angry hole in my hand, then a better feeling of pleasant warmth flooded my veins. I opened one eye, then the other.

Cure Materia.

Sara's eyes were focused on my hand. Her own was glowing slightly greenish blue like the color of the magic, as well as her wrist where the orb was sitting, thus giving her the power to cast cure or some more powerful form of it.

I refuse to be happy about shooting myself just because the pain is weakening to periodic throbs. "I will not be laughing about this until tomorrow..."

"Probably will." she waved it off.

As the pain faded, I began to feel tense and even more embarrassed. I can't get over the fact that I just shot myself in the hand. She must have sensed it because she commented about how it's okay and how I was just distracted and that she's seen worse. While she talked she rubbed each part of my hand. It felt like internal stitches closing the wound and calming the irritation.

"Sorry."

"Ahh its okay." she was very quiet. "You can leave after this."

I nodded, feeling even worse. How can someone even manage to shoot themselves? What's worse is that Sara saw it! I think she was the only one that didn't know about my "underlying unconscious motives to harm myself". To make things worse, it's too early in the morning to be inflicting wounds.

"But..."

"No really. You'll have to do an accident report before you leave though." her hair fell out of her ponytail and cascaded into her face; she didn't move it.

"Okay." I nodded. Reaching out with my free hand, I tucked her hair behind her ears, I mean surely it was obscuring her view.

She paused momentarily and looked up at me. I looked away; she continued healing my hand. We sat in a weird silence while she healed my hand.

Then I began to realize where I was. We were sitting in some type of medical closet, in two silver chairs facing each other with a small table between us. Little bottles with no labels at in cabinets on the walls, as well as a few medical instruments and wraps.

Sara adjusted her position slightly. I bit my lip, half of me wanted to explain to her why I probably shot myself in the hand. It wasn't just because of distraction! It was because of Rufus. Of course, I can't tell her..but still..at least then she wouldn't think I was accident prone. She'd just think I was sleeping with Rufus. Wait...that's not a good thing either...is it?

"Nature will heal the rest of the wound, the important parts are sealed now." she released my hand, placing her own in her lap.

"...have _you_ ever shot yourself in the hand?" I stood up and looked at the almost invisible wound. All that was left was red scarring which would be gone by tomorrow.

Sara shook her head while putting away things. "Never in the hand, but then again I've never shot myself anywhere."

So that means I'm the only strung out idiot around here? See! This just reinforces that stupid stereotype that blonds are completely retarded sex kittens. I'm not a sex kitten. Why would a kitten even be sexy?! Whoever coined that term was into extreme beastation. Ick.

"Thanks again, Sara." my fingers traced the red scarring, prickles of pain shot through my arm.

"You're welcome." she stood as well, grabbing her clip board and jotting down something. I wanted to ask what exactly she is always writing on that thing, but I left it alone.

"Please don't think my hair color had anything to do with me shooting myself. Blond is not a personality trait..."

"Trust me, I never thought that. I just assumed it had more to do with Rufus Shinra."

"What?!" my heart pumped faster under my ribs; thoughts raced with clever lies to tell her.

She blinked. "Yeah...I assumed that you were distracted by his presence and therefore, ended up shooting yourself. Why..so..surprised?" she cocked her head to the side and eyed me, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.

Waving it away, I laughed uncomfortably. "Nothing...nothing.."

* * *

What told me that Reno and possibly Rude were back was the fact that Reno's door was wide open and he was sitting at his desk with his feet propped on it, reading something. Against my better judgment I stopped at the door and leaned in, trying to see the title. I couldn't see anything but it confirmed my suspicion that he was actually reading a novel. This was weird. The only thing I've ever seen him read is magazines and then he usually ended up throwing them at me or another object. Or rolling them up and hitting people with them.

Curiosity welled up and getting the best of me. I just have to say something.

"Reno? What are you reading?"

"A book." he flipped the page.

"Well duh. What's it about?" I took a step over the threshold. _Now I'm trapped._

He didn't answer me, he just went through ten pages in about two minutes.

The differences between Reno and Rude are immense; I'm sure this one is the most obvious: their offices. Reno's was downright junky. I'm surprised the floor is so clean. His desk was covered in all sorts of things like paper clips, scattered documents. Colorful sticky notes(that look oddly like the ones I lost yesterday), pens, chewed pen caps and pencils, scraps of metal, and gum wrappers. It was so weird that I couldn't even understand the pattern even though I just know there has to be one. All I know is that Rufus would probably hate to be in Reno's office.

The weirdest thing was how _neat _somethings were as opposed to others. I'm going to try not to dwell on it because Reno is not normal. _No one here is normal._

"Reno...I'll leave you to your reading then." I backed away towards he door. In the back of my mind I just knew he was going to stop me.

And he did by snapping the book closed and swiveling his chair around. "I don't' like my desk being this close to the door." he stroked his chin, blue eyes traveling around the room.

"Um..yeah..so..what were you reading?" I'm not going to pretend I know what he's talking about.

He suddenly looked at me, a grin gracing his face. _Maybe intruding was a bad idea after all._

"What am I reading? Well what does it look like?"

"...a book. A novel probably." I came around the opposite side of his desk to get a better look at the it. "I was a little surprised that you were reading--" Pulling a chair from under his desk, I sat down.

"Tryin to say that I can't read? That hurts you know." he sighed, putting his face in his hands.

Did I just hurt his feelings? Noo..

"Reno! I didn't say that!"

Before my fingertips reached his shoulder he looked up and slapped my hand away.

"Hah! How gullible are you?! Too easy.."

"No I'm not!" I winced and glanced at my hand. The one he'd slapped already had a hole in it a mere twenty minutes ago. To avoid questions and Reno's "scrutiny" I placed them both in my lap.

"You are but that's not the point." he grabbed the book, opened a drawer, and put it away thus taking me away from the chance of seeing the title. "The point my little rookie is that it has three sequels."

"Okay?"

I'm glad he's confident in his logic because I'm very confused and lost Not in the same way I am with Rufus. Reno's version made me feel batshit crazy. Rufus's made me feel like I would have to ram my head into a brick wall to understand what I should understand but I don't because there is no understanding the un-understandable. But Reno's is definitely batshit.

"Actually no that's not the point. The point is that I got it from Sara's bookshelf."

"Ooh...Sara has a bookshelf in her office?" I pulled a chair from under the desk and settled in.

"Office? I've never been her office." for some reason, he grinned even more.

"Then where? She has a personal shelf in the library?" I felt stupid as soon as I said it. The _library?!_

"Every time I think ya can't get anymore stupid, you prove me wrong, yo. Her own personal shelf? I'm talking about her shelf at her apartment."

Ignoring the insult, I zoned in on what that was implying.

"You were at her apartment?!"

"Yeah. So anyway she said I could take it and then bring it back when I'm done. Her place is as nice as the way she dresses, yo."

"You were at her apartment!?"

Reno snorted "You still on that? What's the big deal, Laney?"

"The big deal is that you were at her apartment! _Alone_!" a shrill voice met my ears. I was surprised that it was me. "Reno what did you do?! You had sex with her?!"

Oh my ..is that what was so weird about her today?! That's it isn't it!? She and Reno! Reno and Sara got it on!? Nooo!! Say it isn't so--

"Calm down, chick. Nobody had sex—unless it was you."

"What?!" my fingers found themselves at the bridge of my nose.

"Figures. Anyway what are you so upset about? The end result of any non-platonic relationship is inevitably sex. Maybe lots of it. Lots of hair pulling, name calling, nail biting, toe curling, sweaty, heated, --"

My face felt like it was on fire. I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. _Don't think it! Don't think it! Too late! Sex with Rufus..Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!!NOO!!Bad..bad. Shut up! Why won't he stop! How may adjectives and verbs are there for sex!?_

"--hard, rough, passionate, sex."

I shook my head until my thoughts dispersed. "Um.." I coughed. "Reno..you're saying you're going to.."

"Probably." he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. _Lewd..little.._

"You can't. Sara's my friend." even I'm not sure what that has to do with anything.

"That's not a very justifiable argument." smugness was written all over his face. "I hope you don't believe that, otherwise you're incredibly naive."

I frowned. "How come?"

"You don't see me saying to your alleged "man" that he couldn't deflower you--"

"Hey!!"

"--just calling it like I see it. Anyway you don't see me telling him that he can't fuck you--"

"Reno!!"

"--gah why so sensitive? You don't see me telling him that he can't hit that--"

"You're sick!"

He laughed; a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth in spite of his comments.

"Okay, okay." he picked up ripped pieces of paper almost unconsciously as he continued. "Point is, just because you're my.." he paused thoughtfully, as if trying to find a word.

"Friend?" I supplied hopefully.

"Eh." he shrugged non-committedly.

"Cruel." I rubbed my sore hand under the desk.

"Because you're my--" he put up two fingers on both hands as quotations. " 'friend', I wouldn't deny you some fun."

"But still!" I wanted to argue the point but merely nodded. Reno and Sara going at it was not something I would want to even think about. Gah! That'd be weirder than the time I imagined Reno and Rude going at it. Well..no..it wouldn't be weirder because it wouldn't involve Reno saying "Yo partner, I neeed you real baaad." Ick!

"You're right I guess." I shrugged. "Well I have work to do." I started to pull myself from the chair.

"Who's the guy, anyway?" I'm curious."

I fell back into the soft cushion with a sigh. "I can't tell you. He wants us to keep it to ourselves." as soon as the words left my lips I slapped myself mentally. I just opened a whole door for questions and Reno would definitely come in.

"Um..so where's Rude?" maybe I can get the door to shut, quickly before he waltzes in.

"Getting lunch. That doesn't change the fact that your "boyfriend" doesn't want you to tell about him. Is he even _really_ interested in you?"

"Yes, he said he was." my wounded hand seemed to throb in offense.

"And you actually believed him? Man you _are_ naive." he rolled his eyes.

"No I'm not! Why shouldn't I believe him?"

"Why are you yelling, yo? I'm just saying, you shouldn't believe him because he's a liar."

You don't even _know _the guy."

"_Everyone _is a liar and _anyone _who says they aren't is an even worse liar because they believe their own lies."

He leaned forward suddenly, I leaned away. Reno watched me shrewdly until I gave into fidgeting and avoiding his gaze. An empty trashcan on a wall caught my eye. I resolved to state at it instead, at least it wasn't disturbingly calculating. If I didn't know better I'd think--

"Are you sure he's even real? You sure you didn't fabricate this all in your head?"

"Of course I'm sure!!" I imagined ramming the trashcan into his face.

"Calm down, before Tseng thinks we're fighting." he laughed to himself. "Then he finds you hanging from your hair outside of the window."

"Oh my god! Are you threatening me?!" I lowered my tone anyway. I've heard quite a bit about Reno, I'm not looking forward to be on the receiving end of _that_.

"Course." he shrugged as if it was obvious. "So..since you're getting defensive.."

My hands were choking each other by now, the pain in my left amplified. I don't care. "I'm not getting defensive."

Reno was very proud of the reaction he'd gotten out of me. I could just tell from the smug smile on his face and in his eyes.

"So...does he even care about you? I mean who's to say he isn't just playing with you? Stringing you along for shits and giggles until he tires of the little game and then leaves you all fucked in the head and then we all know it'd be so easy to get your little naive heart into it; so once he's through with you you'll be just sooo hurt you'll become a sobbing pile of mess."

"That's..not true." I tried to keep my face blank. Really, in the back of my mind, I was wondering if Reno was saying anything valid. "Besides..I wouldn't react that way--I'd probably pitch a fit and end up shooting something-- and why would he go through all the trouble if he was just being an asshole?"

Reno shrugged. "Doesn't need a reason. People are sometimes self-centered, self-serving, arrogant sons of bitches."

"Like you?" I was happy that he had no answer for that.

"Exactly." Reno ran a hand through his hair and grinned ever so lightly. "Anyway, seriously Elena, you aren't telling me that you just blindly agree with everything he says? I thought you had a pair down there."

"Did you just say that you think I have testicles?"

"Don't change the subject." he scoffed.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"You're right."

"See!!"

I briefly rose a centimeter or so out of my seat and grew tense. My heart beat a little faster from surprise. The sudden outburst wasn't very heart healthy! "What?"

"You agree too much. You should demand that Tseng-"

"It's not him!" I pinched my brow, a headache threatening to come.

Reno laughed darkly. "--I know. I just wanted to see what you were going to say."

"Gah!" it took everything in my power not to grab his neck and squeeze it until his eyes popped out and rolled on the ground. _He's lucky I like him..._

"But like I was saying. You should probably ask him _why _you guys can't tell anyone." he leaned back in his chair again. "Tell me something, does he ever tell you anything?"

"Well...no not really. I'm usually the one talking."

"Figures." he scoffed.

"True..." I didn't even bother to disagree. I talk more than anyone should. Tseng told me once that I talk too much and boy was he right.

"I just don't want you to be sobbing on my lap one day expecting comfort sex. That's incest, man." he grinned, losing his semi-serious tone.

A smile tugged at my lips in spite of his words. "Don't worry, I won't."

He stroked his chin, checked his watch, and ran a finger across those weird red marks on his cheek bones in the shape of crescents laying on their back.

"Hey Reno, what are those? Tattoos?" I bit my lip and loosened my grip on my hands.

"Huh? Nooo...why would I tattoo my face?" he frowned thoughtfully.

"What are they then?"

"I'll tell you when you're old enough."

"Hey!"

"I'm just calling it like it is." he shrugged. " Anyway..I'm serious chick. And the fact that you're getting defensive means I'm right."

I sat back against the short cushioned back of my chair. "Reno, do you think he doesn't give a damn about me?" my lip was bleeding in my mouth. Maybe I'm jumping ahead when it's only just started. I do tend to do that sometimes--overreact and over analyze. Do you think so-"

"Do you? I didn't say that. I just said you might have deeply thought about what you've already gotten yourself into." he pulled open a drawer and produced that book again. He opened it. His hands purposely covered up the title.

Silently, I watched waiting for him to add something. He merely rearranged his position and flipped a page.

"Um..Reno?"

His blue eyes emerged over the top of the book.

"If you see Rude tell him that I'm in my office."

"Sure.." I stood, glancing at the back of my hand. It was red. I headed for the door.

"Good job at shooting yourself in the hand too."

Grabbing the doorknob, I growled and let myself out.

* * *

The screen was still empty. A blank page waiting for input that would never come at this rate. documents were still neatly packed in a black envelope: untouched. My fingers were posed on the home-row keys but nothing was happening. Which brings it all back to why the screen is blank. I can't work, or think about anything but Rufus. I am angry with myself for being so distracted like some kind of love sick idiot. I'm not _love sick! _And I'd like to think I'm not an _idiot._ A little clumsy maybe, but not an idiot. I might have shot myself in the hand today but that doesn't mean I'm stupid and incompetent. And for the last time, I'm not an idiot. I just want to know what's going on. Does it make me an idiot to even be soooooo very confused that I don't even know how I got to this point with Rufus?

Yes. Rufus. It always seems to come back to him. Maybe, I need him to tell me that Reno isn't right. But what if he is? And what about all the unanswered questions? I refuse to go "crazy" wondering about it. I'll just ask him about _everything_.

"Right now." my hands left the keyboard, I stood up as if on a mission, straightening my suit before I left my office.

It wasn't until I reached the elevator and watched each floor light up that I realized that I abandoned my work to go see Rufus. What if he didn't even want to see me right now? I had no actual business reason to go to his office. Maybe I should turn back.

The elevator doors opened. For a split second I thought Rufus would be there, but no, it was simply a hand full of random people that I'd have to share an evil cramped box with. With a sigh, I joined the masses, dreading the sound of those airtight doors closing.

"Which floor?" a man standing near the buttons asked.

All eyes were suddenly on me. I stared at my feet, wishing I could escape. Maybe I could if I hadn't already asked that black widow spider of a secretary to tell Reno, Rude, and Tseng that I stepped out.

My throat suddenly got dry. "sixty-ninth." I nibbled my bottom lip.

Saying that number brought on an even weirder atmosphere, as if everyone just knew that I was going to Rufus's office to be bad and naughty. I closed my eyes.

The subtle feeling of movement was enough to make me throw up on someone. I hate elevators! Who can stand being in a cramped box suspended in the air? What was worse was that elevators forced people to stand in awkward silence with strangers for about two minutes. The good thing was that if it crashed one wouldn't die alone. I wouldn't have gotten on the elevator but this was the only way I could ensure that I actually went through with it. Thus, my logic is undeniable.

My stomach somersaulted uncomfortably as the elevator stopped and everyone got off. I wanted to follow, but instead I watched the doors close on me. Being _alone_ in an elevator is even worse. I gripped one of the metal bars mounted on the wall, closed my eyes, and focused on the pain of the cool metal cutting into my sore hand. Anything to avoid the sensation of falling as the elevator moved again. The higher the numbers lit up, the tighter my gut clenched. I bit my bottom lip hard, almost drawing blood. Before I knew it I was pacing across the small area. When it asked for my I.D. to allow access to the top floor, my hands were shaking.

Good grief!

"Okay...here we go.." I took a deep breath as the doors opened. I want to go back to my office but then that wouldn't help anything.

Chaminade was in the middle of a phone conversation at her post when I reached her. I hovered uncertainly a few feet from her desk. She would have to notice me after a while right? She hasn't really talked to me since that weird moment in the bar that feels like ages ago. I didn't mind, but it became obvious to me that I would have to talk with her often to get to Rufus. Unless, I simply shot her and rolled her out of a window.

"...I haven't really gotten anything interesting yet they're--" her eyes met mine. She hung up abruptly. "You again? Elena?"

"Yeah..me again.." I ran a hand through my hair and took another calming breath.

"You seem nervous. Care to explain why?" she grabbed a loose stack of papers and put them together noisily. "You know, to say he swamps me cruelly in all sorts of work and file sorting, there is never anything interesting about any of it. Do you think he does that on purpose because he doesn't trust me?"

Stuffing my hands into my pockets was all I could do to stop from slapping the "dis-interesting" documents from her desk and stomping on them. Not because I was annoyed but because it would make me feel better.

"Um...I don't know. Maybe he doesn't..I mean..who knows..maybe he's protecting you because he knows if you saw what was on some of the documents around here then he'd probably send one of "us" to blow your brains out and watch them slide down that white wall behind you...if he was to fire you one day."

Her mouth fell open.

"I mean..." I am taking such corrupted joy in causing paranoia for her. "You _are_ pretty much expendable. I'm pretty sure you aren't his first assistant. Probably won't be the last."

Maybe it's wrong to release my frustrations on her. I'm sure she doesn't need any more crap. I'm sure Rufus tortures her enough for everyone. But...

Her eyes were as big as saucers, she visibly swallowed.

...I like to take out my frustrations on other people.

"So. I need to talk to President Rufus."

"About?" she leaned forward, grabbing a pen and twirling it around her fingers.

"Stuff." I adverted my eyes, glancing at the standard black clock on the wall behind her.

"What kind?"

"Business." my eyes want to roll so bad.

"What kind?"

"There's only one type of business."

"Not true."

"Damn it!"

My fingertips were inches away from her throat before I stopped myself. She was leaning back in her chair like a deer in the headlights.

"Heheh...sorry about that. I'm just a little on edge and subconsciously I want to choke someone. Personally, the voice in my head." I crossed my arms. "so yeah."

She didn't move any closer to me than she already was. I don't blame her, I'd be scared of me too.

"Well.." she didn't move any closer, for her sake. "Rufus isn't in right now...and I'm about to rush and grab lunch before he returns."

Relief was the first thing that washed over me. I was secretly glad that he wasn't there, now I didn't have to talk to him about anything. I'm pretty sure he's tired of me being so "insecure" about it. This. Whatever _this_ is. What came second was alarm. I don't want to be caught up here if he returns _and _I would rather not make it known that I abandoned my work. Just what would they think?

"Oh...well thanks. Don't tell him I was here." I waved, turning on my heel. Not waiting for a reply, I headed back for the elevator.

Something my mother once said about fate punching you in the eye and then waiting for you to stand up again to kick you in the stomach came to mind when the elevator doors opened and out stepped the man I was trying to avoid seeing. _Curse all elevators to hell! If I hadn't used it I would have avoided him by taking the stairs as usual!_

"Sir." I gave a curt nod and headed for the elevator. Maybe we'd just walk by each other like last time. Maybe he would act like it was totally normal that I was up here and treat me like any other employee. Like how it used to be maybe?

My heart jumped; fingers curled around my upper arm.

"Elena." he turned me around; his expression impassive. It didn't offer anything. "What are you doing here?"

"Um..." my bottom lip found its way between my teeth. "I was um.." I adverted my gaze. "Visiting.."

"Visiting?"

"Chammy...um Chaminade."

"I see." he released my arm.

Blinking, I wondered how did he actually believe that?

"Yeah.." I pressed the elevator button to call it back down.

Silence. He crossed his arms. I tapped my hands against my thighs. Silence.

"Gah! Okay. I wasn't visiting her. I hardly even talk to her." I breathed, focusing on the lit up elevator button.

He was smug but said nothing.

"..you didn't even believe me because I'm the worst liar in the world." I shifted uncomfortably. He can read my mind can't he?!

"Why are you up here?" he stepped into my vision. Suddenly I was looking up at him, his fingers beneath my chin.

"I...um...it doesn't matter sir, I just..." what am I supposed to say? Should I have prepared and brought flashcards along with me to have some type of control? Control that was pretty much surrendered when I'm around him. Then again...I probably never had any in the first place. Should I tell him that Reno thinks I should tell him that I want to know stuff?" Ooh..I need to leave and regroup and do serious soul searching.

"You just what?" he took his hand away.

" I don't know. Nothing...sir." I bit my lip. "I was just coming to see you about...I'm sorry sir, I'm sure you're busy and you'd rather not be bothered with me. " I looked away. "Sooooooo ...I'll be going."

Though I was not looking at him I could feel his eyes on me. Unconsciously I rubbed my injured hand.

_That elevator sure is taking long!_

"Well, Elena, wouldn't it be a waste of your time to come all the way up here just to go back without saying anything?"

My mouth opened and closed, I bit my lip. "It's okay, I just...don't have any clue as to what I want to say..I mean..I know what I want to say sir, but I don't know how to. I'm just feeling a bit..." I eyed the floor, my cheeks burned

"Elena."

The way he said my name made me look up automatically. "Sir?" I all but squeaked.

"Have a nice day."

I didn't know how to respond to that. I was floored. He strolled off. The elevator doors opened.

"You ..too, sir?"

* * *

Going up there just made it worse. Not only did I get nothing accomplished but that pair that Reno thought I had? It's definitely gone now if it hadn't been before. It seems that I get even more freaked out every time I encounter him. Maybe it's because I've never ..

"Gah...soo stupid. He's probably wondering why in the world he even deals with me.." black and white filled my vision. The keyboard.

It didn't help, going to see him. It only made it ...well..worse. I still can't do my work, I didn't get anything accomplished. In fact..I don't' even know what I was supposed to be getting accomplished! I just went up there on a whim! I mean c'mon!

"GAH!"

_.Bang._

"Gah gah gah gah.."

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

"Crap crap crap crap crap...I'm losing it!"

_.Bang. ._

"Grrrr"

_.--_

"Elena, are you okay?"

"Stupid stupid.." I stopped, my bruised forehead hovering a mere inch from the keyboard. My eyes, head, and hands, throbbed.

"What are you doing?" it was Rude.

"Um...writing a report." I eyed the screen. The majority of the words was jumbled up letters. I don't actually remember even getting to my office or starting the report. Maybe I'm having a mental breakdown or something. No..but I can't be because I'm aware of it and crazy people are usually in denial. I'm totally not in denial. I'm stable.

"By slamming your forehead into the keyboard?" he raised an eyebrow.

I sighed, rubbing my sore forehead. "If I said yes, would you believe me?"

"No. Are you okay?"

Rude was standing near the door, hovering between the threshold and the hall.

"Yeah." I pressed a key, causing the weird letters to begin disappearing. "Sorry. Um..Reno wanted you to know he was in his office."

"I know. That was about an hour ago."

"So she's unconscious?" a new face emerged from behind Rude. Reno. Great.

"Obviously not." I sighed. "The show is over guys. Don't worry, I won't slam my head into keyboards..walls..or books anymore. I was thinking."

"What's going on?" Tseng appeared on the other side of Rude. He also raised an eyebrow.

Gah! Now everyone is here!

"Nothing...sir." I wanted to slam the door in all of their faces.

"..."

"Lyin ass, you were freaking out about something."

"Reno." Tseng gave Reno a look.

"Hmph." Reno dismissed it.

"Can I ask, sirs?" I stared at the computer screen. It was only two paragraphs long again. "With all due respect Tseng, sir and Rude, sir..what do you want?"

"Hey!!" Reno definitely was protesting the lack of respect I'd given him. Too bad Reno! If it wasn't for him, subconscious thoughts wouldn't have wreaked havoc on my brain.

"..." Rude had been walking by and saw me in action.

"Hmph." Reno had followed.

"I was wondering why they were crowding your door. " Tseng answered. "Besides, there is some things I need you three to do this evening."

"Really?" I perked up.

A good assignment is definitely what I need to get my mind straight, and maybe keep Rufus off of it for at least two hours.

* * *

--

* * *

_**A/N: I missed y'all, did y'all miss me? College is fine, thanks for asking. I would have updated last week...and the week before that but wow you wouldn't believe! First I kept getting stuck on this chapter. I wrote over 10 different versions of this chapter, some of them with some pretty drastic scenarios. Finally I came back to the first version of the chapter, and figured out what was wrong and changed it. Then! The lights down in my hometown went out because of Hurricane Gustav ( candles are romantic though...cough) and since I come home on weekends...well yeah. Then the Internet was weird for a week. And so finally..this chapter has gotten published**_

_**The premise for this chapter, is , Elena is starting to realize that she might just have cracked up. Kidding. She's starting to freak out about the fact that she's in a relationship with someone that is her boss (though she's not reached that conclusion yet). She has no idea how to act in such a situation, but she'll figure it out I promise. I have a lot planned for the next several chapters so I promise they wont' be stalling. IN fact, they will be propelling the main FFVII storyline forward(not too quickly though) AND the main 'romance' storyline. Also..Rude will wear a pink thong and boots just for everyone's personal pleasure.**_

_**...anyway.. on a side note:**_

_**Thanks for waiting on me guys. I'm doing revisions on chapters 2-9 now. Chapter two is almost complete, so when I post the next chapter, I'll tell you guys if it's done or not. I've added new scenes to it so it'd be a good idea to read it over once I post it. Chapter one was also redone a few weeks ago before I left for college.**_

_**Well..with that said..c'mon guys. Leave me some reviews! You know I like to hear what you guys have to say.**_


	17. That Little Nagging Feeling

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**_That Little Nagging Feeling_**

* * *

Rude and Tseng are heading off to Mt Corel . Reno is getting the pleasure of "dragging along a rookie" with him to Wall Market in the slums beneath Midgar, to have a chat with a "fat pig bastard" by the name of Don Conero.

"I'm warning ya, Laney." Reno said, putting on his helicopter-pilot headgear. "He _is_ a pervert."

Reno's warnings usually are pretty crazy even if they're pretty true so I'm not willing to take his word on people's personalities and stuff when he's known to have one that a psychiatrist would have a field day with. That, and the fact that he once told me that Hojo was flamboyantly gay with Scarlet and when I asked him how was that possible when Scarlet is a woman he said she is actually a pre-operation transvestite. This was around the time when he was incapacitated and I was asking for advice on how to get on everyone's good side. Needless to say, it didn't end well when I asked Scarlet (I sure in hell wasn't going to talk to Hojo!) when her final operation was . So yes, I avoid believing too much of what Reno has to say about a person's character. But, does that mean I shouldn't listen to him about Rufus? Well..actually he doesn't _know_ it's Rufus so technically it's not valid?

"I'll wait and see for myself." I closed the helicopter's seatbelt with a snap.

With Reno flying I couldn't help but do a quick run through of emergency protocol just in case something weird happened. I'd be much more comfortable with Rude or Tseng as the pilot;at least then I wouldn't have to worry about some freak accident.

"Suit yourself." he took us into the air.

I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes. The flight shouldn't be too long but a bit of rest would be great for my mind. If _that_ hadn't been the prelude to a meltdown I don't know what was.

"Elena, you know what I just realized?" apparently Reno wasn't going to allow me to rest my mind or eyes.

"What?" I opened them, and stared out at the dreary horizon ahead of us.

"You have a form of agoraphobia but you're totally fine with aircrafts. I mean where's the logic in that? You are scared of elevators, which is controlled and has safety features and all that but you're totally cool with being in something controlled by accident prone humans and is exposed to the elements."

"I have no control over my fears Reno." I rolled my eyes and closed them once again...

Then I slammed into the side of the helicopter from a sudden unexpected movement. Pain shot though my head as it hit the window. Rubbing it, I looked over at him.

"Hah!" Reno grinned smugly.

"Bastard!" I growled before I could stop myself. My hand fell over my poor tortured heart.

"Why thank you."

Running a hand through my hair, a sigh escaped me. "Can you tell me why you pick at me so much?"

"I wouldn't pick on you if I didn't like ya, sister." he flashed a "charming" grin.

Irritation faded, a smile tugged at my lips. "How touching."

"Which is also why I want you to be happy with whatever you're involving yourself with."

"Aww.."

How "sweet" of him to be concerned. Too bad it's more like the pot calling the kettle black. Kinda. What _pot_? What _kettle_? Why are kitchen appliances even insulting each other? Some saying...ah..yeah ...um..

"Reno?"

"Yeah?" he was digging a lighter out of his pocket and had a cigarette between his teeth, making him sound muffled.

"Didn't President Rufus say that smoking in the aircrafts was also prohibited?" I can't help it, I want to pick on him even if it's not true.

"He can kiss my ass." he flicked the lighter on, staring at the yellow flame for a moment like he was a moth drawn to it. "Maybe if he smoked sometimes he wouldn't be so damn uptight."

"Reno, he said it and therefore it is law." I reached out, my palm facing upward, directly below the freshly lit stick. Personally, I hate smoking and I can only tolerate smokers if they aren't in a confined space.

He surveyed the situation, took a puff, and filled the helicopter with the unloving smell of smoke.

"You know what?" Reno's blue eyes sparkled with the most evil of mischief.

"What?" I asked, cautiously but curious.

"I think.." he grinned.

A pang of discomfort shot through my wounded hand. I pulled it away to see ashes cooling on the once-again irritated wound. Closing my eyes tight, I let the cigarette drop to the ground and tried not to concentrate on the burning sensation in my nerves.

"Son of a b--"

" I think that Tseng was on to something about you and Rufus." his cocky-ass voice said.

My eyes remain firmly closed. No need to draw suspicion. "And what would that be? That The President should suggest a trip to a psychiatrist for you?"

"Too late for that. Testy, aren't you? If I were you I'd get that bitterness out of your tone, this could change everyone's work experience."

"..."

"I think if you two would actually have some hot, passionate, hair pulling, name-calling, ten hour long sex--"

"WHAT? _TEN HOURS_?"

"--that you would stop being such an uptight, jumpy,naive wimp of a virgin and he would stop being such an uptight, controlling, arrogant, cocky, manipulative, neurotic, sociopathic, asshole of a President. But then again that's what I love about him. "

Ooh I want to say something but I decide to bypass what he said. "Whatever." I forced a scoff. Truly my mind was rushing for a comeback to defend my hard-earned virginity. Damn you Reno!

"Eh...either way, sex does the body good."

We landed a couple of miles outside of the heart of the Sector's slums. Reno got out first, I paused to check my PHS before jumping down to join him. We walked for a while, in silence, until we reached Wall Market.

"Eh..." compared to sector 5 slums this place definitely looked better (not counting Aeris's home which defies ...logic..). _Better_ being if a person liked tacky neon lights, shady looking businesses and a weird smell that hung in the air. It's a mix between construction, alcohol, oil, and something else.

"So we're going there?" I pointed towards the most eye-catching building.

"Eye-Catching" isn't always a good thing. it had the most neon lights of all: Pink glowing naked bumblebees. Odd music was coming from it's doors and a stream of odd looking people..mostly men..went in and out.

"Uh no..that's the Honey Bee Inn...unless you _want_ to go in there.." he nudged me in the ribs and raised an eyebrow.

"...no. We're on assignment anyway." which was an excuse.

"Uh uh." Reno nodded, glancing at me from the corner of his eye before producing a white box of cigarettes. "You remember why we're here?"

I nodded, eagerly. I'd been going over the things I know (I have a feeling that they withhold information from me) about the assignment, mostly to stay focused and keep my mind off Rufus.

"Yep, I do. We're supposed to question um..Don Conero--also known as Fat Pig Bastard-- about somethings including learning about any possible connections in retaining knowledge on the whereabouts of the keystone and we are also--"

"That wasn't a cue for you to answer." he blew out a ring of smoke.

I looked away from his "glare"; "Oh..right, because anyone could be listening." Duh Elena, remember that!

"Rookies."

"Haven't I been here long enough to be past Rookie status?" I want him to say yes. Only then can I--

Reno put the cigarette to his lips again. The top glowed orange. He exhaled and tapped it; ashes fell to the from the edge and faded away onto the dark,trash strewn, street. "Nah. You ain't even been here half a year and you act like a rookie therefore you are. And you haven't had enough experience to not be a rookie."

To Reno's surprise (I'm sure) I didn't say anything in return. What could I say? Instead, I stared up at the sky. Or..well..uh..not the sky but the bottom of a half-constructed plate with pieces of metal hanging down. From this distance I couldn't see the night sky even if I tried. It was all just black. It music really suck not being able to see the sky--even if the sky above isn't anything worth seeing on most days. It was grayish-green on good days when the sun made it's feeble way through, and it was a darkish green otherwise. Either way, I couldn't live down here--even if it wasn't a slum--because the feeling of being trapped doesn't sit well with me.

As we continued our walk I noticed how several people seemed to be avoiding us. I dunno, I just hadn't really thought of the reactions of seeing two Turks walking around down here. They made sure they weren't walking on the same side of the road with us and avoided eye contact, though it was obvious they were watching us. Unconsciously, I rested my hand on my gun.

"Alright, Elena." Reno's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "When we're inside, I don't want you talking."

"Why?!" offense crept into my voice. Who _wouldn't_ be offended?!

He didn't answer right away, he simply took another irritatingly slow drag of his cigarette. How can he be so calm at a time like this?!

"No offense but they told me that I should do all the talking." he blew out a stream of smoke.

"Tseng told you that didn't he?" I sighed and crossed my arms. One would think I would have lived a few slips of the tongue down.

"Yep, can't disagree with him either." he inhaled. I want to smack that thing out of his hand but..yeah..not a good idea.

"And why not?"

"Because he's right. Don't you remember your most infamous and recent 'Elena Moment'?"

I rolled my eyes. "You weren't even _there_. You were sprawled out in a hospital bed after you fell from the sector 7 pillar."

He grumbled darkly, I almost regretted my words. Almost.

"I _know_ because Rude-and Tseng-told me. _And_ you told me too." he flicked ashes from the tip, giving it a new full glow. "And for the_ last_ time, I did _not_ fall. I_ jumped."_

"Details, details." I waved it away. It's nice to ruffle Reno's feathers for a change.

He laughed softly. "You're learning.."

Though I'm no where near understanding the mind beneath the goggles, I think he actually likes when I insult him. I didn't have much time to mill over that fact though, the street was getting a bit more narrow, and the litter was getting a little heavier. I glanced at him, he was strolling along calmly, kicking beer cans and trash out of the dirt and watching them slam into the walls of shady looking buildings clustered nearby. A thick yellow fog engulfed us briefly, along with a heavier smell of metal and an odd sweet smell. By the time we left the smoke my gun was completely drawn and we were near an awning with a tacky neon sign on top that appeared to be in...Wutainese.

"Reno...do you ever get the impression that this part of Wall Market is something of a creepy red light district?" I looked around, tightening my grip on my gun. Who knows, maybe at any moment I could get stolen and sold to be a sex slave.

"Heh, what you scared?" he snorted.

"No." I defended myself a little too late, he was already walking ahead of me, beneath the awning.

There was another cluster of even shadier looking buildings in this area. I followed Reno closely, trying to make sure I didn't run into him if he stopped abruptly.

Which he did. And I did. He shot me a look, I put my gun away and shrugged. A beady eyed brown haired man was standing in front of two big golden doors with his arms crossed. Beneath his green shirt he seemed to have quite a bit of muscle but I wasn't even the least bit unnerved by that. I have to admit...I'm itching to kick someone's ass.

"Sup." Reno took a final smoke and dropped the stick onto the ground. The man opened his mouth to say something-

"We're from ShinRa--" I stopped him, only to have Reno put his hand in my face.

"We're gonna have a couple words with your boss." he tapped his foot to a beat that I couldn't hear. In fact...I don't think anyone could hear it but him.

The man's eyes darted from me to Reno and back again. He opened his mouth to say something once again, but this time Reno cut him off.

"Get out of the way." he sighed. "I wanna get back before it's too late to get smashed."

"..." it took a lot of will power not to say something to Reno about what he just said. His words seemed to have an affect on the confused looking man though, the guy moved out of the way. "..."

"This shouldn't take long."

I followed Reno inside.

We entered a semi-octagonal shaped room. The first thing I noticed was that everything thing in it was a deep blood read color and in the center of the floor was a circular rug with a dragon on it. A set of red stairs rested against a wall, leading up to something, to a ornately decorated balcony that sat above us and a red desk sat near the door with a red haired man in a black suit watching us. If I didn't know any better I'd think he looked like Reno, except ..he didn't.

"...so..what now? Is that him?" I tapped Reno's shoulder.

Reno's rolling his eyes to the ceiling told me otherwise. It was then I realized we were in a waiting room or entrance area.

"Where's that fat bastard of a boss of yours?" Reno slammed his hand on the desk, causing the man to jump back.

Should he be talking to people like that? A moment later, my question was answered. Apparently it was quite alright for him to be talking to people like that because the man told us to follow him. Maybe they were used to Turks demanding stuff here...

I rested one hand on my gun, once again, and racked my brain with various ways to defend myself—and Reno if it came to that. Which it wouldn't, right? I mean..who would be stupid enough to attack two Turks? Reno and I walked side by side down a overly decorated hall behind the man from the desk. He was trying to keep his composure but several times I noticed him looking at us over his shoulder like he'd rather take off running instead of actually lead us. Twitchy guy. He led us up a set of stairs that looked like the others ones, and we ended up on the balcony that I'd seen at first. I resisted the urge to look down at the ground floor from over the balcony, and continued to follow the man until he stopped us at a big set of red and gold double doors decorated with that weird overly-done Wutai theme as well.

"Here we are." the main glanced at us again and raised his hand to knock.

"Hold it." Reno practically nudged the guy out of the way. "Don't knock. I want to surprise the piglet."

If I was that guy I would have told Reno a piece of my mind and demanded that he not refer to my boss that way. But I'm not that guy, and my boss is hot. I mean..wait..that's..not what I meant. The point is: Reno has no respect for other people's authority. What if he upset the guy or something and then we didn't get the information we wanted or something? Maybe I should just...let him do what he will. I mean, he has probably been pissing people off effectively for quite some time now. He's an expert at it. The man sighed tightly, as if he honestly wanted to say something nasty to Reno, but simply backed away from the door and crossed his arms.

The doors were pushed open by Reno's boot.

A big round man in red with a ugly blond Mohawk jumped up from a desk, almost in surprise. Two men on either side of him tensed as if ready to attack. Reno laughed to himself. The men didn't relax their stance but didn't move either. I looked from Reno to the man in the middle.

"Sup, Don, did I startle you?" Reno sidled lazily into the room, swinging his retracted EMR around like a baton. I followed behind closely.

So that's Don Cornero? He doesn't seem like a pervert...yet.

"Turks? Hmm--hmm what are you doing here? I told you I didn't know anything about--"

"Shut up, it's not about that. We just have a simple question and then we'll leave." Reno tapped his weapon against his shoulder in a relaxed way.

I crossed my arms and allowed myself to become just a tensy wensy bit distracted by the overly-vibrant reds, golds, and greens in Don Cornero's room. On the floor was a thick red carpet, ornately decorated with a writhing green serpent. Statues lined the walls, random Wutai-styled pictures and characters. Two flames sat near Reno and I, dancing around inside of sconces. His desk matched the style, it was also a--

Eww why are his beady eyes looking at me?

The weirdest feeling of disgust and discomfort washed over me, I crossed my arms a little tighter over my chest until certain things were completely flat. Don Cornero's beady black eyes lingered and a sick grin crossed his face. Ew! Gods! Stop looking at me!! I feel so violated right now!!

"Yo, I'm talkin to you, keep your eyes on me. 'sides I'm sexier than she is anyway."

Relief was short lived, Don only looked at Reno for five seconds before those creepy hungry looking eyes focused on me again. I shifted uncomfortably and focused on one of the flames instead, the image of burning him alive came to mind. I heard Reno snap his fingers and growl.

"Got a question for ya, dumb ass."

I looked away from the flame. Reno has his attention. Don Cornero gave Reno a look of pure contempt but he waited for the question.

"You know anything about the Temple of Ancients?"

"No." he answered. For a moment I thought all would be normal until he leaned forward like some beady eyed pervert and leered at me. "What's your name?"

_EWW!_

Reno sighed and walked into my vision, grabbed my arm and began dragging me off to a corner. "Elena." he hissed quite loudly.

"What?" I peeked over his shoulder. Don Cornero waved. Ew! Gods! "Reno he's creeping me out." I whispered back.

"Yeah yeah whatever. Look, I want you to go stand outside."

"Oh okay. Why? To stand guard just in case?" I didn't risk peeking over his shoulder again. The urge to bathe in bleach when I get home is already starting to bubble up. So..so very violated.

Reno blew a strand of hair out of his face, it landed right back where it was. "We're not going to get any actual answers with you in here, sorry to tell you this Laney but I think he's trying to impress you. He's a freak, I told you, he probably wants to slather you in hot butter."

"Gross!"

He grinned. "Yeah well go outside."

"Why do I have to go outside just because he's the one being weird?" I hissed back. "That's so unfair. It's...sexist is what it is."

"Sexist? Gah, and here I was thinking that you wouldn't throw that word around. Just go outside."

Ignoring the first comment I tried to keep my business attitude. "Do you mean outside of the door or like..._outside_ outside?" my left foot started tapping lightly against the floor.

"_Out_side." he looked over his shoulder. So did I. Don was watching us, looking all weird and pleased. He probably could tell we were having a 'spat'. Crap..

"But Reno--"

Before I knew it I found myself outside of the door back in on the balcony.

"Oh? Hello?" the man from earlier was standing there,his arms crossed.

_GRRR Reno!_

I shot the man my dirtiest look as if he was the one that kicked me out of a meeting just because I was getting leered at. Without saying a word I marched past him, down the stairs and out of the front door.

_This sucks...there should be some rule against being ordered around by Reno and kicked out just because some pervert thinks I'm hot. But then again...I'm getting the sick feeling that it has nothing to do with hotness. If it looks like a woman and walks like a woman then he'd probably want it. Ew...like the whole cross-dressing thing..._

"..." I sighed again loudly and shifted my weight. There was nothing to do, nothing to look at , nothing to see. The only thing around here was those shady little places clustered a few feet ahead on either side of the road and that big stupid neon sign. Aiming at it with my gun and shooting it was out of the question, though at least it would pass some time.

_Five minutes passed._ I'm starting to get restless. What if Reno is in trouble and like..needs me or something. Wouldn't it be smart to go back inside and see?

_Ten minutes..._

_Fifteen.._

"Gah!" I threw my back against the door.

"Hey there cutie." a hand landed on my shoulder.

The man's wrist was thick when my hand went around it but he ended up on the ground with a thud fast enough. My boot found itself in his ribs three times before I recognized the quivering, wide-eyed heap. It was the guard from the door. It finally clicked that he hadn't been standing there when I came outside, maybe he'd left for a break or something.

"What the hell.." he groaned, he strained to sit up, failed, and ended up on his back again.

"You shouldn't sneak up on people like that!" my adrenaline still pumping through my veins. "You could have gotten hurt, you know."

He grunted and closed his eyes. "Crazy.."

Maybe I should help him up? I mean...I _did _attack him..

Kneeling down was as far as I got because a stream of light crossed between me and my victim. The door had opened. I looked up into the blue eyes of Reno. He blinked, looked from me to the guy, and then a grin.

"I didn't know he was behind me..."

He made a 'tsk tsk' sound. "I can't take you anywhere, just violent."

The man groaned. I looked from him to Reno, who shrugged. I want to help him up but Reno didn't really seem to care. He walked past me and of course I had to follow. I gave the man a hasty apology and ran after Reno.

When we got back into the helicopter, he didn't say anything until we were in the air and almost back at the ShinRa headquarters.

"So he didn't know anything about it..." he shrugged.

"You mean to tell me I was sent out for nothing?!"

Tseng is very reserved sometimes. Most times, actually, which is probably why he didn't really seem to concerned with the 'colorful' verbal report we'd given him. Or maybe it's because he's used to Reno and knows that he embellishes a lot. Reno did most of the talking--which was all over the place--and I filled in the blanks where I thought was necessary. The part where Reno claimed that I had 'knocked a guy out' really brought his attention to me.

"Is that what happened to your hand?"

Warmth spread rapidly across my face all the way to my ears. I wish I could tell him that my hand was a result of hitting someone. It's pretty embarrassing to recount the truth to him, especially with certain red heads present. Reno nudged me.

"No...sir."

"What happened?" he asked.

"She shot herself, boss. " Reno piped in. I shot him a look. He gave me back a thumbs up.

"Yes." I returned my attention to Tseng. "In the hand sir, with a um..nail gun. You see, it wasn't on purpose, it wasn't as if I was trying to harm myself or..haha..anything. I'm not crazy sir, please don't refer me to the company pyschiatrist. It happened earlier when um I was in the Weapons Department with Sara--"

"Sara?"

"Hot chick that we see sometimes with the long hair--"Reno offered.

"...anyway...yeah I got distracted." I bit my bottom lip. It was then that I realized that Tseng would have preferred a simpler, condensed, explanation. Crap. I really have to do something about talking too much.

Reno chuckled. I sighed and stared at the floor. There was a short silence before anyone said anything.

"I'll be expecting a written report from both of you." Tseng finally said.

It was Reno's turn to sigh. "Oh c'mon, we've already told you what happened, why do we have to do that too? Why document it?

Reno, I've come to notice, is very lazy. Or at least that how he acts. But he actually does do his work and he's very good at it, even though he complains. Tseng clearly is used to it by now. Maybe one day I'll be able to ignore him too. Tseng didn't bother to respond to REno's whining, he simply sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Sir, is there anything else that you need?" like a hug or a kiss? I mean..um..I want to be helpful and useful of course. Hehe..

Tseng pulled a small stack of papers into a black folder. "Yes, actually. Take these to Rufus."

He's kidding right?! I don't want to go back up there! I already almost had a breakdown of sorts last time. Maybe I _do _need to pay a visit to the company psychiatrist.

"Nah, let me do it, I wanna talk to him about that smokin policy anyway." Reno cut me off before I could say anything.

Unfortunately, Tseng told Reno no and he shrugged and left, muttering about something that sounded like 'nicotine'. I shifted uncomfortably and tried to think of a way to get out of going up there as well. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and rocked back and forth.

"So...sir, how's your night been going?" he was adding a few more documents to the file.

"...fine.." he looked up and held it out. I took it. "Tell me what he says--if anything--when you return.

"Sir."

The elevator was the only way I was going to make it to his office--again--without freaking out and running. It's not that I wouldn't want to see him right now, but the whole art of avoiding confrontation is to avoid the person. I don't know, but I would think he's still wondering, however vaguely, about why I popped up earlier and then suddenly left with no explanation. If he doesn't say anything about it I would be surprised, and a little miffed. I'm all complicated like that, but I have the right to be because I'm a woman. Or so that's what my sister used to say. And my mom. But then again, I shouldn't really be taking notes from them. They weren't here right now, and they sure weren't going to help me _not _find a way to avoid him as much as possible. I wish I hadn't even went to see him earlier, then I wouldn't have a pile of butterflies fighting in my stomach. The lurching of this _box_ didn't help me feel any better. When it stopped and the doors opened I let out a sigh. _Well..it can't be too bad._

At least for once I actually have an actual reason for Chaminade to let me see him.

His secretary was rubbing her eyes when I approached, her hair was falling out of it's style, a cup of coffee was sitting at arms reach, and several energy bar wrappers were dotting her cluttered desk. It's so weird how different Chaminade's desktop is from Rufus's. I'm surprised he doesn't make her clean that up. She looked up at me, her mouth opened in a wide O and a long drawn out yawn came. She sighed.

"Tired?" I smiled lightly, it wasn't very late, but I bet she's been working pretty hard all day.

"I can't complain." she shrugged, running a hand through her hair. "Come to see The President, _again?_ That'll be the second time today and the ..hmm.." she ticked off her fingers. "fourth or fifth time since I've been up here. "

I showed her the file in my hand. "Tseng sent me. Can you tell him I'm here?"

She blinked slowly, sipped some coffee, and pressed a button on her desk. "Sir?"

Hearing his voice made my heart speed up just a little.

"What is it?"

"Elena is here to see you, she has something from um..Tseng.."

"I'll be waiting."

"Hehehe..." a weird little laugh came from me. Chaminade returned to whatever she'd been doing on the computer. I left her and headed down the long hall that lead to his office.

On the way up I tried to think of the first thing I would say when I made it inside but that all was shot to hell when I saw him. He was sitting at his desk, against the back of his chair. I glanced up at him briefly and then kept my eyes on the floor. Maybe we'll just have this little business transaction and then he'll dismiss me and ...

"Um..sir. Tseng wanted me to bring this too you and asked me to um..tell him if you ...um.." I fingered the papers, my nerves are getting the best of me. "had anything to say about them." I snapped my mouth shut.

"Okay."

Walking toward his desk without looking up made me feel all the more vulnerable. I know he can tell, and his silence is just making it worse. I placed the file on his desk lightly and swallowed a shaky sigh. Gah!

"Will that be all sir?" half of me wanted him to say that it wasn't all. The other half wanted to escape to the sanctity of my office and the insanity of my guys.

He didn't say anything. I watched him read over the files that I'd given him briefly, his blue eyes moving across the page. I picked at a piece of lint on my suit and fidgeted. _Gah the silence is driving me insane. Maybe I should just leave, it's not like he's paying me any attention._

Rufus put the papers down. Some of them misaligned with each other, he straightened them perfectly so that all of the corners were at the same point. It was so subtle that I hardly caught it.

"Sir...will that be all?" I nibbled my bottom lip. "I mean I'm not trying to rush out, hah, or anything, I just want to know if there is anything you wish for me to tell Tseng, sir?"

Nothing. He merely sat back all smug looking and calm, and brought his index fingers to a point like a tepee. I dropped my gaze. _Gah! He's torturing me!_

"Sir, is there anything that I can do?"

Stay professional and calm perhaps? But that's all shot to hell! My nerves are already making me vibrate!

"Look at me, Elena."

His tone held that 'subtle' hint of authority. Biting my lip a little harder was all I could do to keep a mildly level head. I raised my eyes slowly, dreading and anticipating the end result.

"Sir."

There is something to be said about looking someone that you share mutual interest with, in the eye. It's weirdly fascinating, scary, intimidating, and stuff. Once again, I dropped my gaze, instead looking out of the large window behind him at the city and the skyline.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Elena?" he called my attention again. I couldn't help but look at him again.

"No sir, nothing."

"Nothing?" his expression was impassive.

"Nothing, sir."

"I think there is."

"Truly sir, there isn't." the high-pitched voice that suddenly filled the room unfortunately was mine.

"Is that so?" his tone dropped even lower, he leaned forward. My heart throttles my throat.

Stupidly, I nod. "Yes,sir. I'd only came to your office earlier because of something ...silly."

"Elena.."

_Gosh! Why must he say my name like that?!_

Squeaking like a mouse, I answered. "Sir?"

"There is something you want to tell me." it wasn't a question, it was a statement. Can he read minds, I have to ask again.

Finally, I was able to tear my eyes away. "Sir..there isn't anything—really, sir."

"Elena."

"Fine!" I ran a hand through my hair. "I was...I'm...I...I.."

Then comes the pacing. I moved back and forth before I even realized it, and I'm too nervous to stop myself. _Gods!_ If Reno hadn't undug what probably had been hidden at the back of my head I wouldn't be here right now! How am I supposed to--

"Elena."

"Sir?"

"Stop pacing."

I brought myself to a full stop behind the empty chair opposite him; my hands rested on the back of it.

"Sit."

And I did. The desktop was all I focused on. My fingers curled around the fabric of my pants that covered my thighs. My heart was definitely prepared to explode from my chest and leave a bloody streak on the desk.

"Sir..."

"How is your hand?"

I looked up. How did he know? Did Reno tell Rufus about "The Misadventures of Elena The Rookie" while at the water cooler?

"My hand? Fine. I"m...um...I shot myself. How did you know, sir?"

A smirk finally crossed his lips; a hand went through his hair to push it from his face, and then it fell directly back into place.

"I know everything."

That makes sense I guess. Kinda.

"Oh...is that all you want to know?"

I winced inwardly. That question was pretty redundant. It's like asking "are we there yet?" when ya know full well that ya aren't.

"That's a stupid question isn't it.." I nibbled my lip.

"Maybe." he gave me no hints.

"What's on your mind, Elena?"

My palms start sweating just a little. I bit my lip a little harder and rub my hands against my pants. "Um...don't you thin...we're..going to cross a line?"

"Elena, we crossed that line well before now."

_Like when I kissed my boss!_

"Well before even _that_."

Wow, how does he know what I'm thinking!

"But.." I gestured hopelessly. "I don't know, maybe we shouldn't continue crossing it until one day we're so far from the line we can't even see it."

"You're afraid of something, Elena?"

Am I afraid of something?! Um...actually I've never thought about that. I guess I should be afraid of something. I mean...I could lose my job over something like this. Oh my—I could_ lose_ my job! Something tells me—hehe--that Turks aren't simply "let go" and then they can go and find another job. Uh uh..noo..once again, the impulsive nature my father claims I have has pimp slapped me in the face. So..am I afraid? I wouldn't exactly say afraid but...I've never had a boyfriend because men are scared of me, I've never told anyone how I feel about them (otherwise Tseng would have known by now!!) and I've never dated _someone I have to answer to! _

"N-nothing sir." I swallowed painfully. "I just.."

"You just?" his calm, expectant gaze is frying my logic and speech.

I just don't know what to say! I should just go.

"...I should leave sir. I'm sure you're busy and I'm sure Tseng is expecting me to report back." I jumped up from the chair.

"Sit down."

So much for that!

"Yes, sir." I sat back down stiffly, keeping my posture as straight as possible and trying to avoid fidgeting. Once again, I stared at the desktop, my face burning. The sound of papers being moved met my ears and then silence.

Lots of it. _Maybe I should say something. He's probably waiting on that. Maybe it would be in my best interest to...like..end it? Wow, why didn't I think of that? He probably wouldn't even give a crap, either. Unfortunately._

"Maybe..." my voice came so soft I could barely hear it. Why is it that times like these are when I lack balls?_ Balls?_! "Maybe we should stop sir.."

"..."

"Sir? Hehehe, please say something. When you do that it um..well..scares the hell out of me because well...it's..um...well..." I bit my lip, mostly to shut myself up until I could form normal words.

"Um..please say something. Am I just losing my mind and overreacting and freaking out? I...I know I've done it before...several times...like the time that I thought I was going blind at age sixteen or the time when I thought I was a hypochondriac because I thought I was going to die, or the time when I thought I was a lesbian because I kept scaring guys off..." once again I bit my lip hard, my teeth sunk into my skin. It's all I can do to stop myself from continuing that statement.

"Elena.."

As much as I wanted him to say something I don't know what it is. What if he dismisses me from his office with the receiving end of his shotgun?! What if he tells me I'm a headache and leaves it all alone?

"Sir?" I asked the desk.

"What do you _want_?"

Is that supposed to be a trick question? I opened my mouth, then faltered. Fidgeting made it worse, I know he can see all of my vulnerable, nervous, habits! He probably already knows what I'm going to say before I even say it..

"What ...do you mean?"

"Rufus, sir." Chaminade's voice suddenly interrupted over the intercom on his desk.

Relief spread over me. Finally! A reason for me not to torture her! Rufus didn't seem to share the same sentiment though. He pushed his hair form his face casually and pressed the button. "Chaminade" he said coolly.

Wow the first time he got her name right. It was then that I realized, while he was distracted, that I was painfully tense. I unclenched my hands and tried to sit back quietly. The tension in the air had faded since his secretary had called.

"Sir? Yes it's me...there is someone here to see you--"

"You're fired."

"WHAT?!"

"Whuh?" I whispered to myself. "Is she really?"

Chaminade's shrill voice was suddenly cut off by the press of a button. He turned his attention back to me as if that hadn't happened.

"Is she really?" I chewed on the inside of my mouth and ran my hands across the desk. "Fired?"

"No, I don't feel like getting a new one."

"Oh..." that makes sense I guess. He just enjoys torturing the hell out of people accidentally on purpose. Have to admit, it's a bit fun when one isn't on the receiving end of it. Even though the tension in the air is lighter, what am I supposed to say now?

"I love when you do that."

My eyes met his again. When I do what?! Go into a random thoughtful silence?

"...do what sir?" my right fingernails dug into my left arm.

"When you bite your lip like that." he replied airily.

_What?! Gawd! Does he want me to swoon into a heap?! _Heat rushed into my face, I stared at my lap.

"Oh...um..really? I...I..I..didn't even realize I was biting it. Tseng and Reno tell me I should stop because it gives away what I'm thinking and shows my nerves."

"I know, but that's not why."

"Why then, sir?" I can't help but wonder if I want to actually know the answer to that.

"No reason."

"You're not going to tell me are you?" that's like asking if Rude has a hidden stash of sunglasses. Of course a straight answer isn't going to happen, but it's heavily implied.

"I'll save it for another time." he sat back again, calmly watching me, an almost invisible smirk on his lips. _Such nice lips..._

"Um...so I guess I'll go?" a nagging feeling launched. There was some reason why my visit to Rufus' office lasted this long but I don't really remember why, ow. Was he asking me something? Or was I? Oh shucks, it doesn't matter!

"Not yet." he smoothly pushed a red folder I hadn't noticed across the desk to me. The small stack of documents I'd given were sitting neatly in front of him again. "Take that to Tseng."

I nodded so hard I felt like one of those really-neat-makes-ya-feel-special figurines that bobs their heads around in the back window of cars. "Sir, will that be all?"

"Yes."

Grabbing the folder, I rose from my seat—without tripping—gave a totally professional glance and turned away from him. _Is he looking?_ I wondered as I crossed the floor.

With a quick pause I glanced over my shoulder to see him reading over the documents again. I kinda wish he was watching.

"You can go now, Elena.."

I coughed. "Of course, sir. Have a good evening."

An overwhelming feeling of pseudo-relief caught me as I left his office. I pressed my back to his door and hugged the folder to my chest, closing my eyes as well. A light sigh escaped me. I wish he would have said a little more than dismissing me. I don't think we even got to the bottom of what I was there for..earlier._ But...I'm glad we didn't. I don't really know ..._

Suddenly the support behind me was gone and the sound of a door opening startled me into turning around and being held—blush--around the waist. My poor, abused, heart began to play a really loud drum beat in my head.

"Sir...is..is there something else you want?"

"Yes, actually.."

The folder slipped from my fingers as an afterthought. My mind disconnected slowly from everything around us but the warmth of his arms and the softness of his lips. My arms went around;fingers curled around hair at the nape of his neck. Blush warmed my face his finger;his fingers traced it, floated through my hair..down my back...

Then the world slowly came back and my eyes lingered on those sharp blue ones of his.

"What was that for?" I can barely talk. Recovering from one of Rufus Shinra's kisses isn't exactly easy...

A smirk,once again, tugged at his lips. His embrace tightened around me, his gaze holding mine. "This weekend; I want to see you."

As in a date?!

I nodded, only half listening. Once again, I must reiterate that it isn't easy to recover from that. "...yes..si--"

He put a finger to my lips briefly, I fell silent.

"Yes, Rufus." I corrected myself, nibbling on my bottom lip unconsciously.

"Great. Have a nice night."

He released me and returned to his office, closing the door. Gathering all my will power was all I could do to hold an eruption of "girly-freaking out" back and retrieve the folder off the floor. Somehow I managed to walk forward without falling. Chaminade was typing when I passed her desk. I got on an elevator for a full two seconds before realizing it, hopped out exactly before the doors closed, and headed down the stairs instead.

Tseng called me in after the fifth knock. He looked up at me briefly when I entered his office, then at the folder, then back at his computer.

"You're back." _Finally._ Seemed to be a missing word.

It's so uncomfortable even if he's not scrutinizing me. "Um, sir, President Rufus wanted this delivered to you."

Tseng clicked something with the mouse. _So hard working!! Can't I have both of them? Have y cake and eat it too?! I'm greedy...fine.._

"Put it on the desk."

"Right. So..." I put it down. "Where are--"

Tseng tucked back a strand of hair. "Reno and Rude went out drinking."

"Oh. Okay, sir." I watched him work silently for a moment until he gave me that "you're still here?" look.

"Goodnight, sir."

"Mmhmm."

Suddenly, a giggle escaped me. He looked up, eyebrows raised. The image of him getting drunk with Reno and Rude had crossed my mind, I couldn't help it.

"Sorry sir...I just.." I shrugged. "It's just that you work so hard too..it's great. Don't you ever go out with Reno and Rude? Not saying that you should go and establish bad habits. Work is great..."

Tseng chuckled ever so lightly to himself and then eyed me politely, his rich brown eyes seemed thoughtfully amused. _Something else to file away in my personal accomplishments!_

"I have before."

"Really?"

"Rarely."

Ooh really? I have never seen him outside of work. Maybe it's the high of just being with Rufus that has me buzzing outside of comfort zones. "Oh, have you ever gotten sloppy drunk to the point where you wake up in some strange place with no recollection of what happened, sir?"

"No, but Reno has." he glanced at the screen. "A very complicated situation."

Complicated? Sounds like a great story..

"Well.." I shoved my hands into my pockets, fingering my keys. "If I beg, will you go with us one night? It'd be a great experience for me."

He seemed to study me quietly for a moment. I fidgeted and blushed. Finally, he answered.

"I'll think about it."

Yes! I convinced him much faster than constant begging from Reno! Maybe I'm just on a weird high?

"Great, sir. Well...have a nice evening." I waved while backing away to the door. "I'm going to finish up my leftover work, sir, then I'll leave."

"Okay."

"Okay."

And that's exactly what I did: worked until midnight. I left only a few minutes after Tseng. My mind reeled as I rode the elevator (oh noes!) to the parking lot and one thought stuck out most as I slid into the front seat: If for any reason Rufus wanted to end our ..um..relationship..what would happen to me?

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--

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_**GW08: A faster update this time huh? Aren't you glad? Well anyway. I just wanted to thank you guys for waiting on me, and remind you that I have posted a redone version of Chapter 2, and in that new chapter is a brand new scene involving Elena and Rufus. Good stuff..I hope. Tell me if you spot any obvious formatting errors, something is creepy about Open Office right now (my trial ran out on Microsoft 2007 so I'm back to using them..what kind of crap is it when you're a Microsoft user and they won't let you use their stuff for free?) so I can fix them! Anyway, tell me what you thought about this chapter! You know I love hearing from you guys, so please leave a review , eh? I have lots planned...so stay tuned? Review my children! **_

_**Did you guys notice how easily Rufus distracted Elena (after Chaminade ruined the conversation) from what she was trying to say? **_

_**-goodwitch2008**_

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	18. Uninhibited

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**_GW08: Just so I won't confuse anyone, the italics merged with the normal text is because Elena is thinking while getting dressed._**

**_

* * *

  
_**

**Chapter 18**

_**Uninhibited  
**_

_**

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**So maybe I didn't handle the other day very well. It took two hours of sleepless thought for me to come to that conclusion. Maybe, somehow, he quite simply wants to pursue a relationship with me ;regardless of how hard that is for me to wrap my head around. Maybe he has no ulterior motives. While he might not be the most honest man in the world, he has no reason to have ulterior motives in this regard.  
_

The pearls, being part of the dress, slipped easily up my shoulders and across my back. They were the only thing covering my otherwise exposed skin in this Little Black Dress (does it count if the dress sweeps the floor? Can it still be called little?). I turned toward the mirror directly and adjusted plunging neck-line and vaguely wondered how cold it would be tonight to be wearing a backless evening gown..

_Maybe. Reno isn't as great a judge of character as I thought? Maybe he just gets a kick out of screwing with me and I took the bait. It's not his fault that he decided to tap dance on my emotions during a certain time of the month when my mood can change drastically. Is it fair to hold nature entirely responsible for my overreactions? No.  
_

Sara told me to keep it simple, that's what I'm trying to do. I just want him to notice. I'm glad she suggested a Little Black Dress. Apparently, I didn't know that every woman is supposed to have one in her closet. After zipping it ,I sat at the edge of my bed and slipped my feet into the strappy black heels..

_And maybe I'm kinda happy to be in a secret relationship with my boss. It took me three hours of non-sleep and an epiphany the next morning to make me realize that I didn't want to tell Rufus to uh..break up with me. Then I wonder, does one date and some kisses even merit a relationship to break? I think I jump the gun too much...I am never on the same page with others._

The brush's gentle bristles ran through my still slightly damp hair smoothly. I tucked one side back and secured it with a tiny black hair clip. Outside the sun finished setting, the sky was dark except for a new full moon which cast a silver light across my bed. Triumphantly, I grinned at myself. Now all I need is for him to not be able to keep his eyes off me. "I hope I don't trip over this gown.."

_Not only would 'stopping things' had made it really weird at work but I probably would have gotten fired. Then again, I dare anyone to fire me. That wouldn't even be fair. But anyway..I'm glad I'm here right now, how else would I find out what's going to happen? I'm going to attempt seeing him as someone that's _not_ my boss. Just a normal guy who happens to be attracted to me. Maybe he should get his head examined..why is he attracted to _me_ of all people?  
_

" And remember." I frowned at myself. "No tripping over your dress, shoes, or saying asinine things. Fight all of your natural impulses!"

I nodded at the beautiful woman in the mirror. That couldn't possibly be me. Maybe if I try to be normal the whole image won't be ruined.

After one last glance in the mirror, I left my apartment. Down the stairs and into the lobby I waited, pacing back and forth, trying to remind myself that it is not okay to be jittery and pessimistic about whether or not I will fall over my own feet. I didn't have to wait long, he arrived at the exact time he said he was.

"Hey." is all I can think to say. Heat rushes into my face.

He takes my hand and leads me out into the surprisingly warm night air. Outside he releases me and rests his arm loosely around my waist before murmuring, "By the way, you look great."

"I was waiting for you to say that." I sighed in relief before I could stop myself. "Thank you." a soft laugh faded in the night air.

"You're welcome." maybe he thinks my inability to censor my thoughts is winsome and that's a good thing to him? I'll be sure to ask.

* * *

A few minutes later buildings are flying past as blurs of light; There is barely anyone on the roads. The silence isn't uncomfortable, it's.. just..._silence._ I nibbled on my lip; what to say what to say? I have all night to attempt unlocking the mysteries of Rufus Shinra, might as well start now. Using the intervals of light against the dark interior of the car, I stole another glance in his direction. His sharp blue eyes seemed thoughtful too. What is he thinking? About me? About me thinking about him thinking about me? Or is he thinking about work and the new information that we've received from our spy, Reeve's Caith Sith and how he can exploit that information and make it useful for the company? Or maybe he's thinking about something else. He meets my gaze. Quickly I look out of the window again. That's the second time he's caught me staring at him. I locked my fingers together in my lap and watched my thumbs go around each other, starting over every time they brushed.

"Are you going to tell me why you keep fidgeting? Something is on your mind, what is it?"

"Just thinking." I shrugged.

"About?"

"The thirty minute pep talk I gave to myself in the mirror before you came."

"What?"

I laughed tersely. "Nothing at all. I was just thinking about the future, sir. I mean Rufus.."

"Hmm?" he obviously hasn't forgotten my weird confession about the pep-talk in the mirror.

" By future I mean...we should go bungee jumping for our next date. Or scuba diving off the coast of Costa del Sol, or maybe..." I felt a grin coming. Yes, I am saying insane stuff on purpose. What if he actually agrees though? It's better than sitting driving in silence. Silence makes my thoughts wonder and I'd rather not let my thoughts get me right now.

"....."

"Or better yet we could just go to the Gold Saucer."

"No."

"Why not?"

He laughed derisively. "Just ...no."

"Bad memories there of cotton candy incidents and a huge Moogle chasing you around demanding a hug? Or maybe—Oh wait! Can we stop please?"

Without asking why, Rufus slowed to a stop. Across the street was a merchant's stand and as soon as I saw it an idea struck like a bolt of lightening. I shrugged at the raised eyebrow he gave me and climbed out into the night air. With a purpose, I marched across the street toward the vendor. It took me a moment to realize that Rufus had joined my side. I looked at him with what I hope is an apologetic visage. He says nothing.

"I won't take long I swear..I just have to see if it's over here..nine times out of ten it probably is."

A short old man in all black was sitting behind the table, rearranging his items. I smiled briefly at him and then dropped my gaze to the merchandise. The wind rustled my hair; I could feel his patient gaze on me. Maybe it's not here. Just when I was about to turn away and feel really stupid for wasting time, the corner of a book caught my eye hidden beneath a jewelry set. I pulled it out.

"You have got to be kidding." Rufus whispered against my ear. "We stopped for this?"

"It's_ Loveless."_ I met his gaze. He _actually _rolled his eyes. "You don't like _Loveless? _You can't tell me you haven't seen the play. I know you have."

He gave a derisive glance at the book. " Eighteen times actually, and not once was it because I wanted to."

The image of him sitting through the play eighteen times in disdain brought a simpering smirk to my lips. Rufus hates _Loveless_?

"I lost my copy a few weeks ago...actually no I kinda..accidentally threw it in the trash. Anyway, don't you think some of the poems and acts are just so mysterious and melancholic?" I flipped the book open and it landed on a poem. "Like this one... from Act three" I cleared my throat.

The old man stopped rearranging his things. Do I suddenly have an audience? Okay then. Tucking my hair back, I bring the book up a little higher to let the street lights catch the words.

".._'As the war sends the world hurtling towards destruction the prisoner departs with his new found love and embarks on a new journey. He is guided by hope that the gift will bring bliss and the oath that he swore to his friends. Though no oath is shared between lovers in their hearts they know they will meet again.'_" the book closed with a snap.

"That was lovely.." the old man had a teetering laugh.

Rufus said nothing.

"You don't think it's painfully overrated garbage do you?"

Judging from the slight look on his face, the answer was yes. Quietly, I filed away a new challenge: Make Rufus appreciate_ Loveless_ even if it _is_ actually painfully overrated and cliche. 89 Gil later, I tucked the book under my arm and walked beside Rufus back across the street. We got back in and continued on our way, with me flipping through various pages of Loveless and reading silently. Heh, something is odd about tonight..I feel strangely uninhibited..and I'm not even drunk. With a little effort I can stay that way all night I hope.

* * *

We pulled up to a nice little building nestled between a art shop and an unoccupied building. I let him pull me from the car and guide me into the restaurant.

"You're not mad that I abused on the job resources for this are you?" I grinned in what I hope is the cutest way at him. I hope he doesn't mind. I picked it out myself without any help; I know everything there is possible to know about the restaurant and the person that owns it. The place is relatively new, owned by some girl around my age—so said the research database—and is set up like a lounge.

Light pressure met the small of my bare back and heat rushed to my face. He pulled me a little closer to and muttered discretely. "That's the last thing I'm thinking about right _now_. But I like your choice."

A grin exploded onto my face and I tried to tame it. Music twisted through the air as we walked in, it was a mix between almost everything. A woman dressed in black led us in. The lights were low and little luminescent orbs sat on each table creating an illusion of intimacy as they cast a dim glow on their occupants. We were led through black sheer curtains, separating us from everyone else. The first thing that caught my attention wasn't the similar lights on our table, or the nice lounge-like curved seating designed in black and white leather but the view of the city behind us from a large window.

"Nice…" I watched the girl leave us and drew my lower lip between my teeth. _Well we're here now._

The group of lights reflecting on the glossy black surface of our table caught my eye. I stared at it as it seemed to sway with the music. Maybe he'll answer something for me now that we're here alone. My fingers locked together in my lap. "Sir? I mean Rufus..."

"I'm listening."

"Ummm…" I met his gaze across the table and instantly forgot what I was about to say. "I was thinking about you.."

A smirk began to slowly materialize on his lips. "I'm flattered."

That didn't come out right! Is it hot in here or is it just me? I nibbled my lip while a self-satisfied smirk ghosted across his. "I'm just wondering..what it is about me--"

His gaze flicked to my hands which were fidgeting with the black menu in front of me. I stopped instantly and his eyes met mine again.

"…that's so attractive?" hopelessly, I shrugged. _Stupid..stupid me._ "I didn't know there was anything compatible about me. How did that happen? More importantly, when?"

We fell into silence. Rufus seemed thoughtful. I let my gaze fall on the city behind him and beside me out of the window. It was so clear that it gave the illusion that I could jump out freely and be able to touch the few stars that were able to peek out of the otherwise grayish black sky.

"Elena?"

"Yes?"

He looked at me through a light gold curtain before pushing it away with a flick of his wrist. "What if I told you it's been for quite some time?"

"R-really? Quite some time? What does that mean? Days? Months? Years?! I haven't even technically known you that long..though...technically I have met you before but that was so brief and I was like fifteen...and you were like fifteen..and... " that was before either of us were in the positions we are now and my sister was around. Is that what he means? does he actually remember me from _then_? "Unless it was that other time..."

My thoughts are chasing each other in wild circles.

"You're flustered. Why?" mild amusement showed in his eyes. My face burned.

"I'm..just glad you .._noticed_ me?." I ran a hand through my hair.

The warmth of his hand covered mine causing me to suddenly meet his intent gaze. A ghost of a smirk danced on his lips. " You don't seem so sure. Besides, I notice everything."

"Everything?" What does that mean?!

"Hi there."

Rufus's gaze traveled up above me over my shoulder, a slight frown graced is features while the smirk was fading, I looked back. A different girl sidled up to us, a big scarlet smile on her face that stood out so well on her pale skin. She obviously has never learned that looks like ours directed toward her could kill. Her smile didn't even falter. Why does it seem that we are always interrupted at the worst possible moment?

"Hi. I'm Rose." she whipped a pen from out of nowhere. " I will be your server today. Orders?"

I blinked. I _knew_ I were forgetting something. I quickly flipped my menu open and the next second it slipped from my grasp. I watched blankly as Rufus handed both menus to the girl.

"Surprise us." he said smoothly.

The waitress turned as bright red as her hair and almost dropped the menus. I hid an eye roll and bit my lip. The eye roll being for her (_who _acts_ so_ flustered?! Ooh I know I don't do that.) and the lip biting because I kinda wanted to order for myself. I have to hand it to him though, Rufus sure knows how to fluster people and judging by ill-disguised self-satisfied look on his face, he knows it. The girl fumbled painfully with the menu again, mumbled something, and scurried off.

She disappeared around a corner. "Well.._wow_...she's something else. She all but fell all over herself."

"Reminds me of you a little."

"What?!" I all but gasped. _He_ merely sipped wine. "I'm nothing like that."

"Oh you are." he assured me so gently that I nodded in agreement.

"Is that a bad thing?" I leaned forward slightly.

Rufus lightly shrugged. "That depends.."

"Ah, it depends." I try to seem unconcerned and casual. Maybe it depends on whether or not I can manage normalcy this time? I can still remember our last date and the things I said during it. My mind had went blank and I couldn't think of anything to say, I mean there's not like a _manual_ for good conversational topics. I cringe every time I remember some of the things I asked him. Gah! I mean, 'what's your favorite color'! What are we twelve?! Fourteen?! Who says that?! More importantly, why would it matter?! I bet he was wondering why the heck he asked me out after that. Hell, I'm surprised he actually sorta kinda answered them.

"Something is on your mind." It wasn't a question; it was a fact.

I shook my head and traced the thin white border on the table with a single finger. "Just about how stupid and school girlish you probably think I was last time. I mean I didn't know what else to ask.." I coiled hair around my index finger.

A resurrection of a smirk graced his features. "Why would you say that?"

I shrugged and sipped some wine; my thoughts bounced against my skull. "Because, I was acting like a big love-sick prepubescent girl. Don't you think so?"

The smirk comes to life. he leans forward; his hair fell into his face hanging just above and in front of his eyes. "Honestly..." he trailed off. I hung on to his every word.

"Juvenile right? A total indication that my experience is limited--please don't take that the wrong or right way--or I clearly wasn't prepared. Infatuation is hard on the health. Not saying it's still --" my words die like a flame in a storm, my entire attention focused on the sensation of his finger against my lips. _Shh, Elena, shh._ I looked in his eyes.

"That's not what I was going to say." he withdrew his finger; the tingling lingers.

"What...were you going to say?" I tried not resort to giggling into a heap. Every time he does that I receive a 'jolt' that becomes such a delightful tremble even _if_ he _is_ just telling me to shut up in a nice (_reeeally_ nice) way. I can't get offended when it's _nice_. In fact, it could be like operant conditioning..I _could_ start talking more just so he'll do it again.

"Hi again!"

We both frowned. She has got to stop sidling up like that! Freaky.

"You told me to surprise, so I hope you are pleased. The Chef took extra care." her excitement bubbled up and spilled out all over me. _Yay?_

She sat before us two beautiful white plates lined with swirly greens and blues and oranges. there was a cute, tiny, square that looked like it _could_ be part of some animal and it had a decorative plant on top and was surrounded by equally tiny and perfectly proportional globs. The server's bright face beamed down at me. She smiled, bowed slightly, and walked away. I eyed the _portion_ again. Surely this was a joke and there was more than this?

"What is _this?_" I prodded it with my fork.

Rufus chuckled softly, meeting my gaze over his glass.

"Seriously, it can't be food." I stared at it. Sure it was pretty. Call it art, but it isn't food. It looks like something food's food would eat. It looks like they cut a calorie in _half._ Food would be like twenty of these. I can't believe I chose a restaurant that charges a lot for an _atom_. Screw quality, I want quantity.

"Actually...I'm quite certain it is." he regarded his with little interest.

"I'm going to die of starvation." I grinned (charm?) and poked it with my fork again. "They would be shocked to see how much I can put away. _This_ is blasphemy."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Is that surprising?" I nibbled my lip. "Am I horrible?"

He shook his head. "Why would you be? You're just .....different."

I blushed and looked down, busying myself with the 'food'. "I'm different? Usually when people say that about me it isn't a good thing. What makes me different?"

"Hmm..you're different because.." he leaned back and eyed me with light scrutiny.

Because I make him wonder why someone hasn't locked me up yet? Or because I get my foot in my mouth more than normal people? Or maybe because I can't ever seem to shut the hell up?

"The suspense is killing me."

"Try not to let what I'm about to say go to your head."

"I won't, I won't. Nothing ever goes to my head except for blood. I'm totally headless, well not _headless_...hahaha..Then I'd be dead. I won't let it go to my head I promise, I'm too used to being a victim of..." I ticked them off on my fingers. "...Karma, ill-fate, sheer clumsiness, bad luck, and I think they call it a slight inferi--"

He raised an eyebrow. I snapped my lips closed. "Sorry..continue on."

And he did like I hadn't just said all of that. "Usually, I lose interest in anything, rather quickly, if it is _useless_ and not _worth_ my time."

"How fast?" Useless and not worth his time? How long does it take for him to lose interest in something or someone? Does he ever lose interest in me? Like last time when all of a sudden he wasn't paying much attention to me anymore until I stalked him outside and almost got my face shot off? I don't see the dots connecting..maybe he can help me.

"In less than a week."

I leaned forward over the glow of the lights, the warmth caressed my neck. "A week?"

"Usually."

Right there it sunk in like water on oil. I stared at him, his gaze never wavering. I blinked. "Is that _why_?" I bit my lip. He offered nothing, he merely watched me. I'm _different?_ But does that mean it's inevitable that he'll finally lose interest in me too? Does that comment apply to his personal life too. There was a pseudo-silence; others talked in murmurs in the background, their voices merging with the music like an undercurrent around us. Then it hit me. Suddenly, I grinned...then _giggled_.

"Now I feel special!" I giggled on and on, burying my face in my hands. "gosh this is a lot of pressure you're putting on me, hahaha, I didn't even mean to.....so hahah I have a lot to live up to in and out of work." it won't _stop_. "Gosh I can't stop blushing! And ..Oh gosh...I'm so sorry for freaking out earlier..this week! It's Reno's fault! I got weird the other day. Forgive me..omg.." my hands covered my face; how can I stop _giggling?_

"Is she okay?"

Forcing an end to the giggles I looked up to see our server looking down at me, beaming like a tree covered in lights--another giggle threatened to burst out. "I'm -ahahaha--fine."

"Everyone has their moments." Rufus raised his glass to me. I blushed harder, I could feel it threatening to burn my skin off but I managed to raise mine too. The girl strolled off.

"Sorry about that." I finally said after drinking half my glass to drown out the spasmodic laughter. "You have no idea the effect you have on people."

"I'm quite aware of it."

I blushed all over again; connecting anything is hard right now. I looked out of the window to collect my thoughts. I have not laughed--or giggled--like that in a while. "Once I laughed so hard I almost choked on a carrot. Thing is, the carrot was put in my mouth by my sister _while_ I was laughing. Classic sibling rivalry."

_Why did I just share that?!_

"You don't say."

"I bet you're glad you don't have any siblings. An only child..." the city's lights winked back at me.

"So they say."

I looked up; he too was staring out of the window. I _would_ ask but...changing subjects seems better.

"I had a dream about you last night."

_No! Not that much of a subject change!_

"Oh?" he watched me now instead of the horizon. I bit my lip and stared into the fire. Maybe the dim lighting is hiding how red my face must be.

"Yeah...it wasn't sexual ......or anything." Did "sexual" just come out of my mouth?

"Now why would I think that?" Irony crept into his tone.

"Because usually people think when someone dreams about someone else, especially of a different gender...well..." I gestured hopelessly. How do I always get my foot firmly in my mouth?

"Well?" he prompted me.

"Weeeeeeeeeeelllll they usually think that it involves something ..._sexual_." saying that word around him brings up the comment Reno made about how every relationship inevitably leads up to _that_ sooner or later if it lasts long enough. Darn him and his red hair.

Somehow I manage to change the subject work only for him to tell me not to discuss that here. The music floats around us, changing once again to a slower song. Something made me check over my shoulder and sure enough, silhouettes of people were coming together and _dancing_.

"Hey, let's dance." I chewed the corner of my lip and watched the couples sway.

"Excuse me?"

I looked back at him. "Dancing, let's."

He pushed his hair from his eyes again. "What?"

I grinned. "I doubt you've suddenly had a bad case of hearing problems..." am I even allowed to say that to him? "Let's dance, you know 'moving with music'?" I moved my arms around a little.

"..." he stared for a moment;

I turned away from the dancers. "Because it'll be fun!" I answered his unspoken question.

He's not as enthused as I would like. Grr. "How would that be considered fun?"

_Because I wanna have an excuse to feel you up! Can't you see that?!_ Actually..heh..there's an idea...

"Oh come on. I know can dance and you can't tell me that you've never jumped around in your room and simply went wild to all sorts of music!" I stifled a giggle at the thought. "You know my argument is a winning one."

He glanced out at the city. "You never cease to amaze..."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." _something must be in that wine... _"So if I never cease to amaze, let me amaze you with my totally un-clumsy skills." I held out my hand. There is something definitely in that wine! Woo...what's with me and why do I like it?

He rolled his eyes and his hand took mine. "Fine, let's."

Whoa what? My eyes widened. I was pulled to my feet so smoothly that I forgot I was even sitting. "I didn't think you'd actually agree!"

I was pulled clear of the table and without warning we're swept up into movement. Somehow I managed not to step on his feet and kill us both.

"Rufus are you sure about this?" he pulled me to him.

"Backing out are you?"

"No....kinda?"

The song changed and then it started..

My heart drowned any other sound; the music was just background noise in comparison to the steadily quickening pulse in my ears. My fingers intertwined with his at his dictation, and the others curled around his shoulder. Heat rose into my face as I felt his hands slide around my waist.  
_Gosh, I think I'm going to have a heart attack. _I'm too far gone to even _attempt_ to lead us,; he leads instead. song changes up tempo, and he smirks daringly. Suddenly the room spins and I'm at arm length, a laugh escapes me before the room spins again and my back is pressed against his chest, his arms around me.

"Are we having fun yet?" he murmured in my ear, the warmth of his lips brushing against my skin.

The room suddenly felt hotter than it could possibly be. I nodded and tried to calm down my heart but no such luck; I was spun around again to face him. The music molded with my heart beat. He pulled me toward him effortlessly; I fell against his chest; our lips amazingly close without touching. I blushed again and looked away. He chuckled and his fingers curled under around my jaw and I found myself looking at him again.

"You were right, Elena.." the way my name rolls off his tongue _can't_ be appropriate. What was I right about again? I can barely remember my own name even though he just said it.

Then, the music slowed considerably, but my heartbeat still worked in a faster tempo. I felt myself draw closer to him, his arms slipped around my waist, sending electricity through my skin as his arms contacted my back. I placed my own where they should be, on his shoulders, linked behind his neck brushing against his hair. Taking in a deep breath was all I could do to remind myself to relax; I leaned against the support of his chest and rested my chin on his shoulders. His fingertips are trailing lazily up and down my back, setting my skin on fire. What is he trying to do to me, make me end up melting on the floor before the night is over?! A single finger, followed by knuckles, pressed against my spine, following the contour of my back and bone, my eyes close suddenly. It feels so good. Is that supposed to feel like that?

Other than the music, there is silence. Time is forgotten. _I can't get this stupid smile off my face, I'm glad he can't see it._ Every thought that tried to come into my head, I quickly blocked it out. The song ended, I lifted my head, figuring it was over. I felt his grip loosen on mine until our eyes met, then it tightened again. A new slow song started with a more melancholic melody, he drew me_ closer_ and we swayed on the spot, the warmth in my face slowly increasing all over again....

* * *

On the way out I couldn't stop talking. He was silent the entire time, listening to me rattle on and on about who knows what. It took me a moment to realize that we were coming to a stop outside of my apartment building again. He got out and came around to my side. The door opened, I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet. Smoothly, just like with the dancing, I found myself at his side, with his arm loosely around my waist. I blushed and stole a glance in his direction. He met my gaze at the same time , a small smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. I looked away and blushed. _He always catches me staring at him! _I watched out shadows move in front of us, courtesy of the street lights that dotted the area. Even with the street lights, it was still almost too dark to see much more than a few feet in front of us.

"I wish I knew what you were thinking right now." I bit my bottom lip . We crossed the empty street. That's an understatement for I wonder if he ever wonders if I wonder if he wonders what I'm thinking too? He probably doesn't have to wonder with me being an open book and all.

"Oh?" was all he said in response.

I nodded. We began to climb the stairs up to the dark glass double doors of my building. "I wish I was like you, gosh, you're so good at keeping all of your personal thoughts to yourself, while I can't even keep my mouth closed for a minute, just like right now. I mean I've been told that I'm an open book so much that I just want to rip out all of the pages and hide them somewhere. I mean.." I glanced at the sky. "You can't possibly think that my talking all the time is endearing...that would be just insane..."

"What if I did think it was endearing?"

His question stumped me. I shrugged thoughtfully, doubting he noticed small motion. What if he does think it's endearing? Does that mean it's okay for me to be ....well.._Elena_?

We reach the doors. Under the soft glow of lights the comfortable silence becomes expectant. Unsure of what to do, I walked out of his semi-embrace and wrapped my hand around the door handle. A stiff, unusually warm wind blew across my exposed skin like, my bottom lip found it's way between my teeth and I stared at the ground for a moment. Our shadows merge together a I warmth surrounds me. My bare back brushes against the cool glass and my throat tightens with anticipation. I want to say something cute and clever but nothing comes and I swallow the meaningless words instead. Without thinking I lean forward, my lips brush softly against his. His move against mine , sending delightful pulses through my nerves, as he comments softly about how ardent I am tonight. My face gets hot, I part my lips to apologize. I don't want him to get..annoyed or anything or think the wrong thing. The thought shatters at a gentle caress between my lips. Warmth and pleasure bursts through my nerves and over my skin; his fingers trail my spine and through my hair, across my scalp. His hair is soft through my own; I know I shouldn't like how good this feels but I can't help myself. It lasts, it lingers...but not long enough.

Then I'm just _me _again. Rufus runs a hand over his hair, though I couldn't see a strand out of place. More heat creeps into my face; my gaze dropped. His arms left me. "Sorry about that.." I muttered.

He chuckled softly; a single finger slid under my chin, I bit my bottom lip hard and looked into his eyes. He didn't seem nearly as affected as I feel right now. "Good night, Elena."

"Sir....I mean..Rufus, you too." e

"I'll see you tomorrow." an almost invisible smirk danced on his lips as if he was in on a joke that only he knew. Once again, reading his mind is extremely desirable.

Nodding was all I could do. With that, he turned away from me and made his way down the stairs effortlessly; always with an air of purpose and authority. My bottom lip found it's way back into my mouth, I nibbled it and turned toward the glass doors that I was just pressed against and virtually making out with my boss.

"Oh Elena..you naughty devil..." I walked halfway inside and checked over my shoulder. He was already gone.

Somehow I made it to my apartment, unlocked the door after dropping the keys _only_ sixteen times, and walked inside. I flipped on the switch and the living room was instantly bathed in light. I ran a hand through my hair and released the first sigh since the sun had set. My nerves are no where near settling, I'd be lucky to get any sleep tonight and dream about anything that didn't involve Rufus Shinra. I found myself pacing back and forth down the hall, trying to _not_ act like a "lovesick" schoolgirl is harder than it should be. When I finally did get into bed, I rested on my back and stared at the ceiling. The night replayed over and over in my head. "I wonder if he's thinking about me right now.."

Probably not.

* * *

--

* * *

_**Goodwitch08: It's been a long time coming, huh? Sorry about that, I was busy. The good thing though, is that it gave me lots of time to think over and rewrite, revise, review the chapter. Ooh I really hope you guys like this chapter. I don't know why I wanted to add a pun at Loveless in this chapter. I just hope that is actually correct. What else? Oh, just a reminder, keep in mind that because Elena is the narrator everything is almost how she perceives it. It's all about perception and therefore she isn't always a reliable narrator. Also, about characterization, remember that none of the characters were anything like how they are two years later on Advent Children (especially not Rufus..strangely enough.) and I'm trying to keep that in mind as I write. Character Development will happen as the story progresses and they will begin to grow into their later selves by the time the story reaches that part. So anyway, please review! I have to hear your thoughts.**_

_**Note: **_**I've redone chapters 3 and 4 now as well and they've been altered a lot. If I beg will you guys reread those chapters? I really want you too! There are completely new scenes in both of them that I hope give more early interaction between Rufus and Elena.**


	19. Observations and Word Associations

* * *

**Chapter 19**

_Observations and Word Associations_

* * *

Today I didn't get away with saying good morning to the receptionist on the ground floor even though technically this is good weather. Seventy floors above that, I still think its good weather. The sky is overcast with gently-rolling gray clouds and the sun leaked through causing a golden halo to form between the layers of darkness. That same weak but sufficient gold streamed unbroken through the huge glass window that occupied most of one wall before slithering stealthily across the clear surface of the desk and resting boldly on his back, white sleeves, and the document placed coyly on his desk; the best thing was how it found a way to attach to every strand and cause it to shine light gold. He paid no attention to it though; his eyes focused only on the document, taking in each word without giving away any reaction or change except when to blink where his lashes brushed gently against his skin. He flipped a page, and hint of a frown furrowed his brow. A light rhythmic drumming came from his fingertips on the glass. With no invitation to sit, there was nothing to do but stand there and wait. The blaring silence—save for the slow, possibly deliberate, soft drumming-- is mind shattering. First comes a gentle gnawing on my bottom lip, then the picking of a loose index fingernail. Fidgeting is something I don't want to do but I need _something_ to do. The drumming stops; his gaze raises to me; heat rushes to my face. What now? Am I supposed to say something?

"Sir--"

"Elena, isn't Tseng expecting you back with my reply? Why are you still here?" he waits, an eyebrow rising; a finger releasing the corner of the page he was about to turn.

The heat under my skin turns up a notch. My fingers curl around the slip of paper in my left palm. He's caught me virtually staring at him when I should have been leaving! "I'll...go right now ...sorry."

Blond strands sweep across his face only to be met by a careless push of his hand. A small smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth. What is supposed to happen now? Do I leave or stay? This is still a business interaction right? Soooo soo confusing.

"Elena..." he released the document and gave me his full attention; the smirk grew. His tone held an irony to it. So I stay? At least for now?

"Sir?" I lost contact for the floor instead. Something about looking my _boss_ in the eye after last week...knowing there is a mutual interest that I still don't understand...being totally sobered from my night of unhibition...

My gaze snaps back up from the slightest movement. He leans forward smoothly, his hair catching sunlight as it collectively falls forward; his fingers come together forming a tepee. "_Why_ are you still here?"

"I...um..."

The life of the smirk reached his eyes. "Be honest."

"Sir...I..."

"Well?"

Can I cover my face and hide the red I'm sure is flaring up or will that be too obvious? Then again, I'm always too obvious. "Sir...it...hehe...it wouldn't be appropriate." _And neither would making nice with his tongue but hey sometimes the line is erased so be honest woman!_

Rufus chuckled, almost to himself, and sat back against his chair. "Humor me."

"It's not..._appropriate_ though..." how can I make him go along with it?

"Appropriate? Why, Elena, that gives me reason to believe you are being lewd."

What?!

"No!" I took a step back before stopping the beginning of a pacing episode. "I swear that's not it! Not saying you're not worthy of lewd fantasies sir, because you are very handsome and--" I drew my lip into my mouth and chewed on it again. And then it hit me. "Sir...were you being ironic?"

The fading smirk flickered back to full life again. Crap! I'm so gullible and I can't do anything about it! There was no saving face; I simply resorted to crossing my arms and trying to seem less affected. "So...?"

"Seriously though, why are you still here?" his smirk faded into non-existence. So he wants me to leave?

I fidgeted with my jacket zipper; it brought little stability. "I...I didn't realize you wanted me to leave automatically." I stared at the ground. Why can't I do this one right? I should have known better than to stand in his office after my purpose was gone. He didn't summon me and I wasn't sent for any other reason. Gah gah gah...!

"Is that so?" he furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Because...because...um...well you see...I got ...it's kinda hard to explain."

"Is it?"

How can I tell him that I was unsure of how to end this would-be totally normal business moment when I was hoping there would be some sort of "unwritten" rule breaking since there came an opportunity. How am I going to be able to tell if it's okay to do one thing and not the other? Once again, I fail to be on the same page with others.

"What do you want me to say sir?"

He pushed his hair from his face and returned his attention to the documents, fingering a corner and flipping the page. A soft tapping filled the room; I looked down to see it was my foot. Quickly, I stopped it and waited. Finally, he sighed and rose from his seat, dusting himself off. He came around the desk furtively and then he was in front of me, eclipsing the sun. Automatically, I inclined my head to the floor only to be made to look up at him gently; his fingers curled around my jaw. Heat rushed to my face once again. Gosh.

"I want you to relax."

Everything about that is complicated! Relax how? Why would he want me to relax? That...that would mean he actually doesn't enjoy watching me squirm which isn't true unless it's a double double meaning to confuse me and he really is just saying that to make me squirm because he really doesn't care if I'm relaxed or not or..

"....relax, sir?"

"Yes. Now go, I have work to do." he released me as smoothly as he'd come.

I nodded and headed for the door.

Refusing to let myself think until I made it to my office, I tried to make it past Chaminade's desk without her noticing me. Under her breath she whispered something along the lines of "that's the second time this week she's been to his office.."

Don't tell me she's keeping count.

* * *

I rushed back to our floor only to find that Tseng was gone, and he left no note or anything. I left slipped Rufus's message in my pocket and headed for the lounge, feeling the need for coffee or _something _to give me an excuse to think to myself in peace. I've been trying to only drink dark coffee now, I don't do cream or sugar anymore—since yesterday—after Reno called me soft. I pushed the door open and went inside. There was perfect silence, the furniture had been rearranged again and the sun had found its feeble way into the room and across the set of black chairs and couches on the far end beneath a picture of overhead picture of Midgar at night. I headed for the coffee machine. Two mistakes later (adding cream is a habit) I stared into a strong black cup of coffee; the steam making my eyes water a little. Murky and dark brown with a matching eye floating around in it, split in half by the ripples of my breath hitting the surface and it still won't send in the secrets of the universe like why the weather is steadily inconsistent, why Reno and Rude are always gone on assignment without me, or most importantly: how I never would have saw yesterday or last week or the week before coming and if someone said that I'd be officially _involved_ with –okay what's with that term? Involved with? It just sounds so dramatic and mysterious. Why? That's just so--

The door opened again. Tseng stepped in, his dark eyes meeting mine briefly before he continued on into the lounge. I felt my posture straighten automatically from my slumping against a wall. A polite smile tugged at my lips;Maybe I can attempt being calm, casual, and contemplative in his presence.

"Good afternoon, Elena."

"Good morning, sir."

He paused; a small curve in his lips made my face burn. _Idiot it's not morning!_

"Sorry, I meant afternoon." So much for cool, calm, or collected Elena. "Sir..."

He nodded, ran a hand through his hair, and slipped his phone from his pocket. I hadn't even realized it was _ringing. _Tseng walked across the floor and stopped at a window, his back turned to me. Quietly, I bit my lip. And that's another thing that my possible change in relationship status doesn't affect: Tseng. Well _not _Tseng, per say, because Tseng couldn't care less what I was doing in my allegedly non-existent "love" life. In fact, since I've stopped bringing it up to them they've become silently convinced that "he" has "left me". They meaning Reno. The thing about Tseng is, my vital organs—mainly my heart—still wants to spasm out of my chest when I see him. Like right now, I can only hope he doesn't see my eyes boring into the back of his head.

"You found nothing again? Were they around?" he fell silent again, listening to whoever was on the other end. He asked a similar question earlier in the week, I am figuring he's talking about the location of the Temple. Then the call was over and he hung up. He put his phone away; running a hand through his hair again. Quietly, I made my way over to him.

"Sir?"

He looks out at the city; something tells me he's not really paying much attention to it. He's seen it a million times before, it's the same skyline. "Yes?"

"What if--" how to form it so it doesn't sound redundant? "What if we follow Cloud and his friends again? They're looking for Sephiroth too who is looking for what The President is interested in, which is connected to the Temple of Ancients...we're bound to end up in the same place. They might have already found the keystone, sir."

Tseng closed his eyes momentarily. "We are already doing that Elena."

Oh right. Duh. Duh!

"Right sir, how again?" he's going to think I don't pay attention.

"Reeve infiltrated their party with a robot." His gaze searched the ceiling for an exasperated moment.

The silent question of "do you listen at conferences?" floated into the air for a moment. I _do._

"Oh...and after Vincent Valentine joined....what are they doing, sir? Searching?" What else can we talk about other than work? Ponies? _Ponies?!_

"Does not seem that way."

"Why, sir?" my bottom lip found its way back between my teeth; I stuffed my hands in my pockets. My fingers brushed the almost forgotten note from Rufus.

"They are wondering around on foot—and have been for a while-they are training and gathering supplies. Anything else you want to know?" he looked over at me; his brown eyes meeting mine.

Heat crept into my face along with all too familiar and equally uncomfortable butterflies batting around against the confines of my stomach. I have got to stop that. I can't go around liking them _both. _That's...bad and ...stuff.

"Elena?"

"Sorry..." I tore my eyes away and to the city. gods. "Yes...I was wondering if that pervert Don Cornero was any help, he seems to know a bit of everything."

There was a moment of silence. I didn't look at him. A helicopter appeared in the sky.

"I take your first impression of him wasn't well received?"

Don's beady pervert eyes flashed and burned through my mind. "Hello no. That disgusting bastard son of a bitch"Quickly, my hands flew to my mouth so fast I hit myself in the teeth. "I'm sorry sir!"

Tseng gave a short laugh. "Don't be, I've heard worse from Reno _and_ Rude. And I am not a saint, either."

Hmm, well when he puts it that way. Wait Rude actually speaks enough to utter bad language?

"Thank you sir. Um....will I be getting any assignment sir? Outside that is?" I crossed my fingers around the slip of paper. Please say yes please say yes...

"Maybe. Be patient."

Biting my tongue was all I could do not to complain. "Yes sir. Um..." I might as well give him what I am supposed to now. "Ru—The President wanted me to give you this. He says you'll know what it means...I didn't read it." I held out my hand.

Tseng took it, his fingers brushing lightly against my palm causing the butterflies to have a fit. He unfolded it and read over it silently; his brow furrowing as he read on. Then he folded it back and put it in his pocket. Now I wish I'd broken a rule and read it. Of course I wouldn't! That's not me! That's not cool!

"That reminds me." he crossed his arms. "You actually do have an assignment."

"Oh my gosh-"

"I need you to go in the basement and find a specific record."

"....oh......" Oh no not the basements.

* * *

There was the sound of escaping air and then the door opened inward. Inside was the less creepy of the basement floors. It had no windows and held the smell of dusty old records and new ones alike. Dim fluorescent lighting set the expansive room off in a shady glow. Rows and rows of files lined the floor in file cabinets. This should be easy to find this 'specific record' but...the things aren't' in alphabetical order. With a weary sigh I settled in and began reading the file cabinets for a 'specific' subject. Between the weird sounds going through the pipes from either the floor above or below and the strange feeling of being watched I wanted to get out as quickly as possible...

An hour and thirty minutes, a cramped back, and strained eyes later I found what I was looking for.

"Yes....thank the Ancients...." without opening the file—he never said I could—I hugged it to my chest and stumbled toward the exit. The key pad lid up after I pressed the right combination, the door opened with the sound of escaping air once again and I stepped out...

"Ahh!"

"Crap!"

"Ouch!"

"Watch where you're going—Elena?"

The file skidded to a halt several feet away from my outstretched hands, its contents sprawling out across the hall. Chaminade and...some guy...were standing there, with her getting off the ground with his help. What is she doing down here? More importantly who is that guy? Wait no...more importantly what is she doing down here?

"Hey what are you doing down here?"

Her eyes flickered to the guy. He had brown short hair and a mousy appearance. "Well, Davis here..."

"Dennis."

"Dennis here...sorry about that, all of those 'd' names. Dennis offered to show me around, he's got access to some of the other floors and well..." she shrugged. "I was curious. I'm not in trouble am I?" she ran a hand through her hair, which was tied back in a messy knot.

My eyes fell on my scattered files. What am I going to do about that? Wait until they leave or pick them up right now?

"Let me get those for you..." before I could make a move she moved with surprising speed, dropping down to the floor and gathering them up slowly. Is she ...reading my stuff? "Well anyway...yeah...sorry I hope its okay that Dennis decided to show me around he's such a nice guy..."

Danny...I mean Dennis was looking down at her in a way that could only be describe as "gaga" eyes. Ew. Just ew. Is he in _like _with her? Does she know it? I wonder if Sara knows about this ...this...Daniel. I mean...um...Dennis. She jumped up with the files intact and thrust them into my arms.

"...thanks...um...question."

Chaminade stopped and turned back around; Drew stood in the background quietly. "Yeah?"

Maybe I should just shut up? "If you're down here...does The President know?"

She crossed her arms and looked up thoughtfully towards an almost completely hidden black camera over the basement door. "Yeah he knows. He told me I could leave early, so...yep."

Right. Okay.

"Okay ...I'll see you ….later then." I dropped my gaze to my shoes and turned away for the nearest elevator.

"Hey!" she called after me. "You'll probably see me again when you return to the President's office huh, for like the twelfth time?"

Grr. "That depends..." I called back over my shoulder without stopping.

"On?" she inquired.

"On whether or not I'm sent to his office..." such nosy people. Why are some secretaries like that? Well...other than Roslyn...she's ...she's something else.

Turning a corner I missed whatever her reply was and found myself right in front of an elevator.

* * *

"...idiot."

"Heidegger."

There were two types of laughter that joined together melodiously, one was deep and quieter, and the other was louder as it traveled out of an open door down the hall. So they're back? I stopped at Rude's office door and sure enough he and Reno were in there eating something that looked like Wutai take out. Reno was leaning back in a chair, his feet propped up on Rude's desk. Rude was spinning noodles around his chopsticks. What _are_ they talking about?

"Okay okay, now you have to start and I'll try to use a word based on the ending of the previous word." Reno spun his sticks around before stabbing something in his carton.

Rude propped his elbow on his desk and rested his chin on his fist. "Stealth."

"Health," Reno said without missing a beat. Wow health? I would have said ...actually yeah...I would have said health too.

"Heathen."

"New."

"Wing."

"Gin."

"You alcoholic." Reno snorted. "Uh...Nymphomaniac."

"_You _pervert." Rude chuckled to himself. Wow he's actually...t_alking?_ "Core."

Reno paused and stuffed a huge amount of noodles in his mouth. Rude adjusted his sunglasses. "Eve."

"Elena."

"Absent Minded."

Hey!

"Dumb ass."

Reno craned his neck, his eyes widened and then narrowed. A gleam filled them. "Good one. How long you been standing there?"

"About ten minutes." Rude answered before I could. He'd seen me?! Those sunglasses make it impossible for me to know where he's looking.

"Well get your ass in here." Reno waved a lazy hand.

"I have to give this to Tseng--"

"Tseng left to go do something." he cut me off, jumped out of his chair, and pulled up another one. "Now join us." he smacked the leather seat.

"Well...ok..."

Rude went on eating. I could feel Reno watching my every move as I sat down—and almost missed the seat which would have resulted in yet another reason for Reno to tease—and put the file in my lap. The spicy smell of the take out made my stomach grumble softly but I ignored it. There are more important things like: what were they playing and why?

"So what were you guys playing? Word association?"

Rude nodded and turned his head towards the window. It was night now; the sky was cast in a dark gray state. The moon's light was muted today by gently rolling black clouds in the horizon but enough light hit the metal of several of Rude's totally painful looking earrings making them glisten when he moved.

"And we're not done yet..." Reno propped his boots back on the desk, leaving smudges of mud on loose papers. Where did they go that involved muddiness and why wasn't I invited? "So since you used Dumb Ass....I'll start and then it'll be Rude's turn then yours." and with that he went back to his food.

"Alright..." I leaned forward and out into the hall. Still no Tseng. "Go."

"Menma..." Reno swallowed.

"What?"

"I said 'Shinra'."

"Application." Rude loosened his tie.

"Newbie?" I shrugged. Reno snorted.

"Ego." Reno stared into his carton. "Man...I should have gotten the other kind..."

"Opened."Rude said without missing a beat. "And you should have."

"Door." I looked out into the hall again. Still no Tseng. "You should have picked me up some too."

"Rufus." Reno shrugged. "Shoulda asked."

"Shinra."

"Attractive." my face burned. Gosh I hope they didn't just hear that. "I would have if you would have told me."

"Evil." Reno sucked on his chopsticks. "Well whose fault is that?"

"Lethargic." Rude adjusted his sunglasses.

"Cruel." I glared at Reno.

He ate more noodles and licked his lips. "Long."

"Grown."

"Noble." I shrugged, crossing my arms and sitting back. This is kinda fun.

"Eager." Reno shrugged.

"Regal." Rude drummed his knuckles on the desk for a moment and I thought of Rufus. And the drumming on the desk...I wonder if he does that sometimes and doesn't realize it. Oh my gosh that'd mean I've actually spotted a" Rufus Quirk." That is ....amazing. I'll have to look further into this.

Reno cleared his throat and nudged me. "Your turn."

"Oh yeah hehe I was just thinking about. Yeah okay. Lithe."

"Easy."

"Young."

"God-like."

"Empty Headed."

"Dark."

"Knotted."

"Doomed."

"Dreary."

"Yeast."

"Tongue."

"Emu."

"Urinary."

"_You_ all need lives."

Jumping, I swiveled around in my seat until my neck muscles popped. Reno and Rude looked up and back as well. A small derisive smile played at the corner of our interrupter's lips. He leaned against the door frame causing his long dark hair to ripple and fall in a new way down his shoulders and back. Tseng's gaze traveled from Rude, to Reno—who was preparing a comeback—to me and I looked down at the file in my lap. My face grew hot. How long had he been standing there? And at least he answered my word with a '_y'_.

"Says you I have a life..." Reno snorted. "Where have you been boss? Elena almost pissed on herself trying to find you. She was about to chuck a spazz."

What?!

"Oh my gosh I was not!"

"Yeeah she was. Ask Rude. The girl was about to soil herself in a fit. She was flailing her arms and her face was redder than it is right now...eyes rolling to the back of her head. I swear she's attached to you at the hip, boss. Tseng you have to let that kid get out more, she's beginning to lose it. The only way to distract her was to--"

A half eaten box flew at Reno's forehead and made perfect contact; golden noodles rained down on him.

"Oops." I pulled the offending throwing hand back. Reno dusted himself off and shook his head.

"See what I mean?" Reno waved it off, grabbed a napkin, and continued meticulously dusting himself off. Rude continued eating like that didn't happen.

I put my attention back to Tseng. His gaze fell on me again. What does he think of us acting so casually at work? And what about me throwing food at Reno? That's bad isn't it? What if what if what if...

"Elena." his eyes went to my lap. "Is that it?"

Without thinking, I jumped up and crossed the room to him. "Yes sir, this is the thing you told me to get from the thing."

He raised an eyebrow. Crap! There was a snicker in the background. Double crap!

"The...the file thing. The record you told me to get after I gave you the note from The President...yes...it only took me an hour to find it but I couldn't find you so I just decided to hang out with them until you got back I hope that's not a bad thing I don't want to waste company time by dawdling like this one--"

"I don't dawdle." Reno scoffed.

"..." Rude complained.

"--and so yeah. I hope it's the right one you specified. Something did happen though, I saw President Rufus's secretary down there with some guy and she bumped into me and I dropped the document and she picked it up for me so it might just be out of order and so I want to apologize in advance for that because I want you to know that I didn't look at the file at all because I wasn't sure if you would want me too or not because I wasn't sure if it was my business. Tseng sir, I'm sorry am I talking too much? I'm going to shut up right now. Unless you want to know something els--"

Tseng held up a hand and shook his head. "Please, Elena. That's...entirely unnecessary."

My face burned. I wish Reno and Rude weren't an audience! "Of course sir, I'm sorry. Sometimes I just have the habit of running off on a tangent like that. Forgive me sir, I'll try to learn to censor myself and edit my words before I just ramble on and on like a fountain or something. I am glad you stopped me sir, some people would just let me go on and on and on and pretend to listen and then walk off while I'm in the middle of a sentence. But I guess it's better to say too much than not enough at all though right? But then again it's really not in a line of work where being silent about important things is most important. I still feel bad about blabbing to Cloud and his friends about what he was doing...so I've been trying to put a bandage on the wound called my mouth...you know? Is that clever sir? Wound...mouth--"

"For the love of hell, shut her up."

I winced and closed my eyes tightly. Reno sighed in relief in the background. Crap! Upon opening my eyes, Tseng was still standing there in front of me patiently ignoring Reno's outburst with an 'are you done?' look on his face. And here I was thinking I'd conquered my mouth. Awkwardly, I thrust out the file instead. That's what he wants right? Then he can go on his merry way and forget that I almost talked myself into a coma.

"He tells me he wants it sent up to him personally. How about you take that up to Rufus?" Tseng looked up at me from the file. "Then you can go home, there's nothing else left for you to do today, even though the night is still young."

I nodded. "Oh...okay sir." another trip to Rufus's office? Hopefully Chaminade won't be there to keep count! "Yes sir. Thank you sir."

He moved out of the way and I attempted to walk away with as much dignity as I could muster but I couldn't help but here them discussing something in the background. Them meaning Tseng and Reno and maybe...maybe Rude.

"...we should go out tonight. It's early."

"Hmm..."

"Hey you said it yourself...the night is young...you promised..."

* * *

Her desk was empty and dark when I walked past, thank goodness. I raised my hand to knock on his door and tried to think of something cute to say about me returning once again in the same day. The door opened before I could even knock and there he was.

"...Elena?" he stopped at the threshold.

"Oh...are you heading out sir? Tseng just wanted me to--"

He held up a hand. "You wait in there; I'll be back in twenty minutes. A meeting..."

"Oh...okay..." I bit my lip and watched him leave. "Wait! Am I supposed to just leave it here, sir?"

Without answering he disappeared around a corner. What now?

I peeked around the door frame. Inside, his office was dark except for the moonlight shining through the window and casting a reflective glow on the glass of his desk and cast shadows on other objects...even without him being in there, it's a bit intimidating and mildly creepy. So what am I supposed to do? I was hoping he'd be happy to see me again; I was so ready to be cute about it. I doubt he wants me to stay...he probably has better things to do than hit on me today right? So do I stand out here and wait for him to return from a nighttime meeting that might actually span over twenty minutes? Or do I just slip into his office and leave the papers on his desk and then get out of his way? I mean what else can I do? I'm not up here on any kind of business but official and while Tseng isn't expecting me back, judging from Rufus, he doesn't have time to play nice with me. At least not right now. He's not going to drop everything just because I graced him with my presence. So, yes I'm going to just leave this on his desk and go on my merry way. Yes, that way _ass_ume wont' make an ass out of me. Besides, there is something good about this:

I'm in President Rufus Shinra's office _alone (ooh naughty thoughts...not.)_. There is something to be said about that. Does this mean he trusts me? Or.. I'm thinking too deeply into this. Yeah...

"Sooo.....I'm gonna just..." I stepped over the threshold and held in a breath.

Nothing. Okay so maybe I'm not going to suddenly be shot to death by machine guns. And..._exhale._Ooookay...

Another step forward and I'm still in one peace. I think it's about time to accept the fact that he doesn't have his office booby trapped and if he does they're not activated on account of my undeniable sexiness.

I'll just put it on his desk and go on about my business that's what I'll do. Yes, I'll curl up on the couch, eat ice cream, and quite possibly talk with Sara again on the phone. She is the only new addition to my routine which makes up my sad little life outside of work. Aside from the rare outing with my _boss_-let's not forget that--I do the same thing almost every night depending on which day it is.

"Thanks for pointing out that I need a life Tseng." I muttered, reaching his desk. "...I'm trying to get one I swear..."

Placing the file near his computer I turned to move away. _Paperclips._

_ "_Oh my gosh..."

He _still_ has no paper clips on his desk. No nothing except for that computer--with no dust on it--and the file I put down. No smudges on the glass. No gum wrappers and no pencil holder thingies. No cute sticky notes with little messages like "call Elena" (sue me I've got wishful thinking), or "fire Chaminade." or "grab lunch with Tseng." or "strangle Reno." or even "Pressure Rude into having a chat lasting more than two minutes." on them. As a matter of fact, there are no pictures on the walls (the ShinRa logo and that huge flat panel screen mounted on the wall don't count) or any potted plants--

"It probably died." a quick glance in a corner confirmed it: the potted blue hydrogena is gone. This office is cold and intimidating and shiny in all the right places. No wonder most people freak out in here. Then again, they probably freak out because of how Rufus--the most powerful man in the world--is giving them cold looks. The office is just an accessory to the intimidating-ness. Aww well, so his office is unbelievably clean, that doesn't mean I'm allowed to stay.

So...I'm gonna leave. No wait! I _must_ know if there is dust on his computer screen. This is crucial. I'll just go around his big half-circle desk and take...a...peek....

"_Oof_!"

_ Not again!_ I did not just trip over his chair and fall flat on my face!

I opened my eyes slowly. Eight chair legs on the other side of the desk were all I could see. Yes. Yes...I've fallen. Sad! What if he comes in here and realizes I'm trespassing behind his desk?! Blindly, I reached up; my fingers brushed a corner of the desk. Gripping it and ignoring the throbbing pain in my forehead I pulled myself up.

_ Clatter._ I looked down. Oh what's this? I hadn't noticed this on his desk. This slim black remote with dozens of buttons on it. Without a second thought, I picked it up and placed it neatly on the computer. What's that new artificial light in here?

Oh ...no...

The ShinRa logo lit up the previously dead screen mounted on the wall...

Feeds from the lobby appeared on the screen. Figures milled around, some coming in and going out. The receptionist on duty was reading a book. I bit my lip. What now? How do I cut this off? I looked down at the remote and tried the most obvious button that was round and red. Instead of shutting off, the screen went dark for a split second and a new feed came up. Several different screens of various hallways--all labeled--showed up. The majority of them were empty except for one near the bottom where a figure dressed in black was walking with a purposeful stride. Heh. This is interesting. What else does this do? Pressing another button the screen changed to several empty interrogation rooms. Click. The recreational areas. I moved around some arrows on the remote and one of the tiny screens lit up and took up the entire space. Ahh. Close ups. click. People working. Click. People on the elevators. Click. Several screens smaller screens of The Weapons Department. On one of them, Sara was talking with the only person that wears a red dress to work: Scarlet. Click. The Library—a dark haired woman was shelving books. Click.

"Ohh...wow."

My department showed up. With a well placed click I found myself looking at my own office. Well..then...heh it does look kinda messy from this angle. I wonder if he ever checks out what I'm doing. Probably not. That would be stalkerish and last time I checked I'm the one that unintentionally stalks people. Click. Ohh..back at the Turk offices. Tseng's leaving down a hallway..where is he going I wonder...

"Anything interesting on there?"

"AHH!"

The remote clattered onto the glass; I jumped up from its surface and grabbed my heart beneath my clothes. Leaning against the desk was Rufus. The moon cast a silver glow on him; his blue eyes glittered with...humor? Or is that thinly veiled irritation? I can't believe what I've been caught doing! Ohmygodohmygosh...

"I thought you would be gone." With a casual sweep, his hair momentarily left his face before falling again.

"I...I...I was about to!" how can I make him realize that I didn't intentionally disrespect the sanctity of his office?! "I...I got distracted. It's no excuse I know, sir. Please...please don't ..." my palms came together as if in prayer. ".. Don't fire me."

"That wasn't my intention." he straightened up; his arms crossed his chest.

Huh. Oh...

A sigh of relief escaped. "Thank goodness, I was afraid that...well yeah I need my job. I love my job. I love it so much that I barely have a life haha! I didn't mean to mess with your....camera thing. I'd intended on just leaving sir since I was unsure of whether or not you wanted me to stay or go sir. I mean your meeting was about thirty minutes long so I didn't want to linger; I'm not impatient though sir. Thirty minutes is not long to me at all! I'd never rush you sir. I'm really sorry. I won't get in your way again, sir. That was very rude of me wasn't it sir? I'm ..." I faltered. He smirked.

His gaze shifted to my forehead. Oh no do I have a sign on it that says ...well... something terribly vulgar or scandalous on it?

"Sir?"

"Your head."

"It's huge isn't it sir?" I touched it and met sticky moisture. Huh? Pain. "I'm bleeding. Oh...I must have bumped my head on your desk when I fell...I'll go and fix this...sorry." I took a few steps forward; his fingers wrapped around my wrist and I was pulled back. "Or not..."

"Let me."

"Oh...ok..."

And I fell silent. He led me back to his desk and made me sit at the edge of the nearest corner. With a gentle finger beneath my chin, I was made to look up at him. My skin grew hot. Oh gosh.

"Thank you sir...you know you don't have to do this." my hands feel so useless in my lap. "I mean it's...my own fault. If I hadn't..."

"Maybe I want to do it Elena." he smirked.

True. "Oh okay." and maybe I don't have anything against him touching--I mean healing. I said Healing!--me. "Okay."

He chuckled softly. "Okay."

"Okay." I stared at my lap; face burning.

A dim greenish glow came from above casting a shadow over my lap. Cure Materia. Warmth replaced the dull pain and spread through every vein; I could feel the wound stitching to surrounding skin...

"I always seem to hurt myself when you're around, huh?" I commented. He chuckled softly but did not answer otherwise.

Slowly I looked up from my lap and up his long fitted white coat...narrow waist-line...black turtle-neck beneath well placed layers of black and white...the silent expression in his eyes...and the way his perfect hair falls freely over them...back to his lips. Such..._nice_...lips. The corners curve into a knowing smirk.

"I'm done Elena. Try to be more careful."

I met his gaze and nodded somehow. Silence. He leaned in..my heart thudded in my ears....and then..

_ Ring._ Is that a cell phone? _Ignore it! Please don't be mine!_

A light tingle caressed my lips briefly. He smirked slightly. "Answer it."

"But I..."

."Answer it, Elena." he straightened up and looked down at me.

"But...but..." I drew my bottom lip into my teeth.

"What if I made that an order?"

I drew my bottom lip into my teeth. "Are you, sir?" Or should I call him Rufus?

_ Ring. Ring._

"Should I?" he moved away.

"Hehe...no...sir." I pulled it from my pocket and flipped it open. Darn whoever this is calling! I stole a glance in his direction. He was cutting off the video feed and not paying any attention to me.

"Elena here." I coughed. Do I sound a bit more high-pitched than usual?

Rufus was behind me now at his desk. He moves so efficiently! I would have--

"Bout time you answered. What were you doing? Or—at the risk of spinning lies and fairy tales--_who_?"

Reno.

"Reno?" Glancing over my shoulder, Rufus was now leaning back casually in his seat; I met his eyes and he raised a brow and waved a hand for me to continue. "Hey...buddy..."

"Buddy?" he scoffed. "Don't make me kill you."

"What's wrong with buddy? Seriously."

"It's weird. Now listen." his tone suddenly dropped gravely. "I need you to get home right now, it's urgent. Make sure you change clothes."

What? Are we going on an undercover assignment? Did Rufus already know this and just wanted it to be a surprise? He sure did seem keen on me answering the phone instead of allowing me the opportunity to play nice with his tongue.

That's it....Naughty Elena isn't allowed out of her cage for twenty years.

"What for? Are we--?"

"No we are not going on some super undercover mission that we decided to keep hidden from you until the last minute. Seriously, just get your cute little ass home. You'll get more instruction then."

_ Click._ He hung up on me! What the hell.

"Um..." I turned half-way to Rufus. The corner of the desk poked me painfully in the thigh.

He pushed his hair from his face almost lazily. "Well?"

"Reno wants me to--"

He held up a hand; I fell silent. "Go."

"But..."

"Trust me. Go. I have work to do anyway."

"Of course sir."

* * *

Without cutting on the lights I bumped against every piece of furniture in the living room until I made it into the hall and finally into my bedroom where a light finally was turned on.

_ What is it?_

I unzipped, unbuttoned, and threw to the floor while chucking my boots.

_ Is it painfully important? Was Rufus just pretending not to care about it?_

The first shirt I grabbed happened to be a black tank top. Oh no nononono. What else what else...

_ Ring._Oh no! Okay okay so I'll wear the top. _Ring._ After a momentary blindness it was on snugly. _Ring._ Pants! I need pants! I can't join them in my underwear! _Ring!_ Snatching a pair of black jeans, I jumped into them. Okay shoes! No...not the black heels from the other night! _Ring!!_ Yes! A pair of normal shoes. _RingRingRing! _My hair! Quickly, I smoothed it down and snatched up the phone.

"Elena here. Is it you Reno?" I inhaled sharply.

"Who else would it be? You should seriously close your bedroom windows at night. Running around like a half-naked chocobo with its head cut off..."

"Ahh!"

They're already here!? I ran to the window. Sure enough, a mysterious black car sat near the sidewalk. Reno's red hair was most obvious. He was leaning against the car with a cell phone to his ear. Beside him was Rude.

"Hey. Get down here before he changes his mind." he waved. "He's meeting us there. Figured you'd want to be a part of one of these increasingly rare nights where he actually comes." there was an orange glow below. Reno lit a cigarette.

"Who?" I gulped more oxygen.

"Who else?" he sighed; smoke billowed up from the darkness.

"Reno. _Who_?"

He mocked my 'who' in a high-pitched voice before answering.

"Tseng."

* * *

--

* * *

_** GW08: Hey y'all. Miss me? Aww not that much I guess? I know you guys don't come for me, you come for the story! But can I at least get a hug or something? Haha anyway. Well this chapter...it's what I like to call a fun chapter (or a filler chapter for those who ....say that.) I wanted to show more of the guys and well..Rufus of course. How do you guys feel about the ending line of this chapter ?! Tseng is joining the mix huh? I wonder what convinced him to join The Guys this time. Was it Elena? Hmm..who knows. Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoyed this know what's weird? I should be updating again soon. But first I must ask a favor of you:**_

_** Please review. If you don't I might have to plot world domination and wear a spiffy white suit while doing it. . Leave some thoughts, questions, comments. I really like getting them and not just to make my ego swell so I can't even get through a doorway; they really help me see what you guys feel when you are reading so do me a favor and drop a few lines why don't you? **_

* * *


	20. One With The Guys

* * *

**Chapter 20**

One With The Guys

* * *

Cutting off the piercing nervous squeal accompanied by circus music in my head, I focused on sliding into the car all while ensuring myself that I wouldn't trip or face plant on the sidewalk. Then we were speeding away from my building in a blur and I nestled into the backseat and gnawed silently at my bottom lip. Reno was in front of me, resting his head against the window; his red hair pressed up against it like a flame threatening to lick up the glass. Beside him with one hand around the steering wheel, was Rude who occasionally, accidentally, caught my eye in the rear view mirror while changing lanes. I adjusted my seatbelt and stared at the back of Reno's head. He reached for the radio and low rock music filled the car. After a moment, he changed the station again and again before finally giving up and turning it off. The sound of his lighter clicking rhythmically replaced the silence. I chewed on my bottom lip and stared back into the passing scenery.

"How you doin' back there? Had a heart attack?" Reno stopped clicking the lighter. I rolled my eyes at my reflection.

"You _could _have told me Tseng was coming." I trained myself not to get high and squeaky when I said Tseng's name.

"Aww if I did that it wouldn't have been fun and we wouldn't have got to see you running around. I'm sure that's the least of your problems you're worried about how you'll act around your _boss_." he made 'boss' high pitched. "Eh, am I right bro?"

"...." Rude continued to drive silently. Heh, at least he's on my side. I think.

Unfortunately, Reno's right and there is no way I can defend myself. Knowing this, I stared out at the city flying by and the other cars on the road and let my thoughts take over once again. Where are we going? What will Tseng be like outside of work? Then there's the dilemma that's becoming more familiar: do I call him by his formal title or his common name? Oh crap.

"Hey guys?" No, I better not ask. Reno'll just make something out of it. "Never mind."

There was movement then Reno was peering at me over the front seat; his blue eyes sparkled mischievously. A grin began a slow menacing materialization. "Tell us. I promise I won't be a jerk."

"That's a stretch."

The comment came from the right in the semi-darkness. A smile tugged at my lips. "Take that you dirty weasel. Rude agrees with me."

He scoffed and grinned; turning briefly to nudge Rude who slapped at his hand.

Aww....friendship!!

"Anyway, so what is it? Wondering if Tseng will think you're hot in your top? Aww she's in love." and then the flesh of my cheeks was pulled painfully between his fingers and shaken.

"Ouch! And No! That's not what--"

_Ring._

Reno kept his gaze focused on me—uncomfortable!--while flipping out his phone and answering it. He was quiet; his expression only changed a little. Then he hung up. What was that about I wonder?

"Bad news." he grinned wider.

"If it's bad news why are you smiling?"

"If I told you then it wouldn't be a secret." and then he disappeared back towards the front. "Tseng says a huge bar fight broke out where we were going, so we'll have to find somewhere else to go. He's on the parking lot waiting for us."

Oh lord, a snag in the plans? So they _were _planning on getting drunk. Oh dear...what would Tseng be like _plastered_? That's something I think I'll be happy not knowing. How would I talk to him at work normally if I saw him totally out of the normal element? Or...hehe...maybe it'd be our little secret and we'd laugh about it and no one else would know why. Secrets are _fun_. Or maybe I should stop creating scenarios in my head and just see what's going to happen.

"By the way, your shirt's backward." Reno appeared over the seat again.

"What..." I looked down. Sure enough, the tag was hanging out. Crap. What if Tseng had seen me like this!? "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Not my fault."

Grumbling, I looked up at him pointedly. "Turn around why don't you? Don't look."

"Course not, what do you take me for?"

"Don't answer. It's a trick question." Rude glanced back and continued driving.

Reno smacked at his arm but Rude moved away. He appeared over the front seat again. "Go ahead and strip. I won't look. Rude might. You can never tell with those sunglasses—ow!"

Biting my lip did little to stifle the laugh. Reno went back to Rude and wasn't paying me any attention anymore. Good. I pulled my shirt over my head and turned it right-side out. "Don't look!"

"Sheesh, we're not. You're paranoid..." Reno's snide comeback was suddenly muffled by rustling fabric. "Though...I guess it is tough to work with nothing but guys..."

* * *

The night air was slightly cool but I couldn't tell thanks to the heat rising under my skin like a volcano ready to erupt. I pulled my hand free of Reno's and helped myself out of the backseat on my own; avoiding looking at Tseng for fear of a possible deadpan expression. What kind of person can't even get out of the car on their own? The image of him leaning against his own with his arms crossed and cold black hair fall over his shoulders—looking oddly casual and remotely relaxed—simply made me forget how to move for a second that's all. Reno didn't seem to think so though, he muttered in my ear before moving away to chuckle about it with Rude, telling me that I am not going to live _that _'Elena-Moment' down. Gratefully, with Tseng being a mature man that doesn't take pleasure in laughing—out loud—at my accidentally absent minded behavior, he simply said hello with a small simpering smirk playing on his lips. I pulled myself to my feet and told myself to be normal. We're all people here...no need to freak out about anything right? Besides, if I can handle being alone in _completely _inappropriate situations with _Rufus Shinra _then surely I can be something akin to normal around Tseng. Right? Right.

"Oh...hi to you too, sir." should I call him Tseng?

To my complete surprise—not really-- they didn't throw confetti and congratulate me on speaking to him without saluting or something completely ridiculous. Rude adjusted his sunglasses and dusted off the nonexistent dirt on his black clothes (we all happen to be in black...coincidence?) Reno shook his head and rolled his eyes. Tseng got right to the point:

"So. Where are we going? Ideas?" his brown eyed gaze left me unceremoniously and went to the other guys.

"How about...we go to that..."

Reno started, and they started suggesting various spots—bars I'm sure—that I'd never heard of. Every time one would suggest, another would shoot it down without saying anything. Rude would 'hmm'. Tseng would 'tch'. Reno would 'hmph'. I waited quietly, hoping someone would think of something. A breeze floated through, carrying the sounds of continuous brawling in the bar we were going to go into that was located on the other end of the parking lot.

"What do you think, Elena?"

Huh?

I looked up abruptly and drew my bottom lip from my teeth. Reno laughed softly, checked over his shoulder, and exchanged a look with Rude and then Tseng (so not cool) before repeating himself. By then, his words had already registered and my thoughts were reeling. I'd rather not go to a bar anyway, I'm not the biggest fan of drinking and the only reason why I do is to hang out with Renorude who seems fond of it. Then there's the whole thing with not wanting Tseng to see me talking out of my ass drunk. If he thinks I talk too much normally, he'd be surprised....

"How about...we go walking? We could walk around and .... you know...seeing the forest for the trees and all that stuff? Walking."

"Walking?" Reno raised an eyebrow.

"...."

"Yes, Reno. Walking. Using your legs for more than kicking people."

"Hey!"

Tseng ignored Reno and turned to me. "That's a decent idea.."

A huge grin tugged at the corners of my mouth. _Did he just say I had a good idea?!!! I have to file this away into my personal accomplishments._

"Yeah! It is isn't it, sir?"

"Oh lawd..."Reno slapped himself on the forehead lightly. "Now you've done it , boss."

He looked away from me and over at Reno, who was now leaning against Tseng's car and beginning to fish through his pockets for something that was most likely a cigarette. "Done what?" he asked flatly.

If that had been me, my voice would have gotten squeaky and high, showing that I knew what Reno was getting at. None the less, the heat in my face rose to new heights. How lucky am I that this parking lot isn't too well lit?

"Oh never mind now, boss." he made a _tsk_ing sound. "You're about as clueless as she is sometimes."

"Clueless, Reno? Of course I am. But I can live with that seeing how I make double what you do." there was a dry and ironic inflection in Tseng's tone that I'd never caught before—probably a sarcasm that I'd never noticed because I'm too busy inside my own head to pay attention to it? Now that I think about it, he's talked to me like that before. Does that mean some of those times when he was agreeing with me or something that he was really using a style of humor on me that I hadn't caught? Oh lord...I'm sad. No wonder he always looked at me strangely when I took him seriously during times like that!

"Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. I'm still hotter than you."

Tseng scoffed softly.

Reno sighed, apparently giving up on the search for a cigarette or lighter. "So...are we going to walk aimlessly or...are we walking in search for somewhere to go?"He crossed his arms and peered at me.

_Everyone _looked at me.

"...we'll cross that bridge when we get to it?" I shrugged, hoping they'd take that an as answer.

"Brilliance."

" Tch.I could have said that."

".........."

Reno led the way out onto the sidewalk. The cool night air rushed past my ears and stirred my hair as another car flew by in the opposite direction. Reno and Rude chattered up front, with Tseng adding in comments when he wished. Reno's voice carried to the back of our small party—where I slowly found myself after realizing my pace had slowed considerably because I was watching a certain person's hair play around effortlessly in the wind—telling yet another past event that I wasn't present for, giving the fact that it happened before I became a Turk. They have such an interesting history together, I can't help but feel a little twinge of leftoutedness—but that's not even a word. But! Thoughts aside, tonight is a night to start creating some of those memories for me too.

Reno came to a halt across the street from a very familiar vendor's stand, sitting solitary in front of a building. The same old man was arranging things on his table and stroking his beard thoughtfully.

"...oh hey Rude? Remember when that same old guy sold you those cheap ass sunglasses and then they got broken a few hours later in that incident in sector four?"

"I remember you hit me in the face--"

"_Accidentally."_

"--and smashed them."

The image of Reno hitting Rude in the face during an intense life or death moment should have been hard to imagine giving the fact that his reputation as a competent 'bad ass' precedes him. But it was actually pretty easy Why? Because Reno is a wild firecracker. They sometimes hit innocent bystanders regardless of how amazing they are. Such is Reno.

So.....what would I be?

"Heh. Maybe I can get you a new pair. C'mon." Reno set out across the street and Rude followed.

I crossed my arms and bit my lip, watching the guys reach the other side of the street. A stiff breeze ruffled the hairs at the nape of my neck. _Barely a few days ago, I was here with Rufus._

"You seem dazed."

I jumped. Tseng was standing beside m, looking across the road at the guys. I drew my lip into my teeth and nibbled at it. A new breeze floated by, stirring his hair once again. What am I supposed to say?! That yeah, I'm dazed because this time the other night I was beginning a night out with The President?

Yes! It's the perfect conversation starter!

"Uh...yeah. I'm not...sir."

"Tseng."

"Tseng?"

"Yes?" a small smile played on his lips and humor danced behind his russet brown eyes. _Then_ I got it. Heat rose, once again, under my skin. Gosh! I'm not supposed to like it when he smiles—however barely—at me!! Crud!

"Oh ...right. So call you by your name for now, sir? I guess...it _would _be a little weird to call you sir right now." I shuffled my feet and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Even so, I could feel his gaze on me.

"Some advice?" he said lightly.

I attempted to lift my eyes from a gross looking piece of dried gum close to my feet. "Yes?"

"You _could_ also relax. Just a bit."

"Hehehe, you're the second person to tell me that Tseng, sir."

"Oh? And who was the first?" he seemed mildly interested.

Crap!

"Um..."

_..he'll know if I'm lying!_

"If it's that hard to answer, I'll let you keep it to yourself." he laughed softly.

"Oh...no it's not that."

"Not what?" he ran a hand through his hair and before I could answer he said something more."Let's join them."

Together we crossed the street. I watched him silently; whether or not he's aware of it, he doesn't seem to mind. I looked away once we reached the guys.

"Finished making out, I'm guessin'." Reno leaned in discreetly and muttered in my ear. I slapped at him but he danced out of my reach and all I hit was air. He did all of this without anyone else noticing. Or maybe they just didn't care that Reno was harassing me.

"Hi." I looked over at the vendor and then cast my eyes on the new merchandise. There was yet another copy of _Loveless._

Reno grabbed a pair of sunglasses. They would have been perfect if they were pink and obviously made for a little girl. "Ehh how bout these Rude? A new look."

"..........."

"_Loveless _girl."

I looked up. The guys looked from me to the smiling face of the old man. Oh crap does he recognize me? The way he's gesturing ...he probably does. He dubbed me '_loveless girl_?' …

"...."

"You know him?" Tseng asked while casually flipping through the pages of another book. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and raised an eyebrow.

Everyone is looking at me. _Everyone. _

"Um...yeah. So--" I bit my lip and picked up the first thing I saw which was a slightly rusty thin chain. Maybe he'll figure out that I'd rather not talk about that right now?

There was a silence.

"You were here the other day with a blue eyed man."

"...."

"Oh you mean him?" I gestured at Reno. Maybe the old man's eyesight is bad and he'll mistake Reno for Rufus? I mean...they do both have blue eyes...even if they're not the same shade. And...well...Reno's hair is red.

Crap!

The old man shook his head and grabbed the copy of _Loveless_, flipping through it. "You read this poem right here. You remember?" he thrust a thumb at it and began reciting the first few lines.

"Oh yeah...sure did." _Fidget. Shifty eyes._

"Oh that's interesting." Reno nudged me sharply in the back.

Tseng seemed mildy interested. Rude adjusted his sunglasses and looked in my direction. A quick thought to divert this increasingly bad topic flashed across my mind and a second later the entire group of merchandise slid haphazardly off the stand before the stand crumpled to a heap below it. I withdrew my hand swiftly and put them in my pocket, gasping in time with the old man.

"Oh no..!" the old man watched his stuff fall into a heap.

"Oh..no!" I faked a gasp and put my hands to my mouth. "Let's help him pick this up.." I nudged some of the debris with the tip of my shoes.

Reno gave me a strange look but shrugged anyway. "Yeah.."

"....."

"....."

* * *

Music blasted through the windows of a car passing by. Reno slipped his goggles from his head—and his hair fell, if only by a small margin—loosely around his face. It is strange seeing him without them. He spun them around a single index finger, lazily. Rude, on the other side of him, seemed lost in his own thoughts and Tseng on the other side of me was on his cell phone, listening to someone talking to him. He caught my eye; I looked away and stared at our shadows, lumped together to look like one body with four heads. I snorted to myself.

"So...." Reno muttered, leaning a little closer to me as if he was actually trying to be discrete. "Care to share why you sabotaged that guys stuff back there? I don't think you did it just so you'd get a free necklace after you helped him fix it up."

"You're nosy Reno." I stared up at the starless sky spread out above us and the buildings that seemed to disappear inside of it. My fingertips brushed the newly acquired chain in my pocket.

"And you're something else._ I knew it._ I knew there was something suspicious about you. Tell me; is that whole naïve thing just a cute act? If it is, you're a genius."

A star winked back at me before being lost in the artificial lights competing with it. I laughed—convincingly I hope. "What 'naïve thing'?"

"Like you don't know." his tone dripped with all kind of accusations. "I knew someone couldn't be that innocent. That's not possible. Everyone's got a dark side."

"You're cynical you know."

"So what are you hiding?" he stroked his chin; in his hand the goggles spun around as a blur. His hair fell over his face and he didn't bother about moving it away.

Hiding? If I told him he wouldn't believe me anyway.

I leaned toward him, and whispered back. "Honestly?"

"Uh huh?"

"I'm hiding a lot of things. But in regards to what you're getting at, I'm hiding a secret relationship with someone that we work with." Sarcasm?

"I know you're trying to be sarcastic but I actually believe that. I'm gonna find out." he grinned smugly. Then he tossed the blur of goggles into the air.

And then …..stared up at the sky. I stopped to and stared. Where did they go? They didn't_ fall._

Rude and Tseng stopped a few paces ahead of us after realizing we'd stopped walking. Reno frowned slightly. Then I spotted them, impossibly hanging from a pole about twenty stories up.

"....."

"Crap. Now I have to go get 'em."

Asking him why they were so important that he'd knock on some strangers door just so he could retrieve his goggles from their window wasn't the first thing on my mind.

"How did they get that far up? That's impossible isn't it?" I asked no one in particular.

Reno left my side without answering and headed towards the building.

"Actually it is." it was Tseng that provided some clarity. "Ah, the law of gravity. This wouldn't be the first time that the laws of nature were disobeyed and it certainly won't be the last." he crossed his arms and focused his gaze upward.

Rude and I did the same. Reno's about to do something extraordinary isn't he? Why else would they be looking like that? With mild fascination?

Reno turned around and gave us a thumb up and a grin before turning back towards the building. He _jumped_ onto the wall , which didn't really have any foot or hand holds, and then _crawled _rapidly upward like a spider.

"Something might fly in there if you don't close it." Tseng commented with a subtly humorous air. I glanced over at him; he met my gaze and then looked back upward at Reno.

I closed my mouth just in time to see Reno wrapping himself around the skinny pole several feet into the air. My stomach clenched uncomfortably, just imagining that height. It's not that I'm afraid of heights...it's just that what would happen if he fell? I realized how stupid and totally "irrational" that thought was when dropped –on purpose—and _landed on his feet_. With goggles in hand.

"You _could_ clap or something." Reno rolled his eyes, approaching me. He slapped me hard on my shoulder. "Don't look so shocked." he grinned smugly. "I know I'm amazing. Don't tell me I've got myself a new fan."

He ruffled my hair and before I could slap his hand away, he strolled past. Rude followed. Tseng scoffed and chuckled. "Cocky bastard isn't he." Then he left my side.

_And incredibly nimble...Wait. Did he just say?_

"Yeah! Definitely a cocky bastard, sir!" I ran to catch up with him.

_Maybe I can make him see just how cool I can be too....? Eh?_

With Reno's Glorious Spider Moment over, we fell back into a purposeless stride. I doubt anyone is actually keeping their eyes peeled for somewhere to actually stop and drink something. This time I ended up beside Reno near the back of the pack. Tseng was _back_ on his cell phone and Rude was being peacefully silent.

"Hey I haven an idea." Reno suddenly said loud enough for us to hear. "We could go to a strip club."

"......"

"What? No." Tseng coughed.

"Reno..that's gross." I shivered at the thought of sitting beside them while they watched some poor idiotic soul strut all of her business in front of them. Not only is that a nightmare but I'd stick out like a sore thumb!

"Eh." Reno looked over at me and rolled his eyes. "I keep forgetting you're a girl. And there ain't no way I'm going to watch some dude stripping. She'd like that."

"What!? And how can anyone forget I'm a girl?!"

Rude and Tseng cleared their throats. What's that about?! Do they really forget I'm a girl sometimes?

"Trust me..it happens." Reno laughed softly. "So anyway..."

And he was back to changing subjects again.

Reno and I have something in common and I can't believe I never noticed it before. As we turn another corner and go past an 'oddly' familiar fountain, Reno changes topics from his belief that Chocobos are actually hate-filled birds that resent being a slave to humans and one day they will lead a bloody massacre on mankind to the twist ending in the novel that Sara lent him to how he once walked in on Rude in the shower (much to Rude's displeasure. Though I'm certain that some of the ladies at work would have turned that into some sick fetish-y fantasy) and then to how he once blew up half of the city block we were on thanks to some bombs that Rude _made._ So, I guess Reno doesn't like to be quiet for too long. So, how can he be friends with someone who seems quite disinclined to talk? Rude's apparent shyness is another thing I have to get to the bottom of. I mean, how shy can a person that can bash someone's skull in, without trying, actually be?

"...so tell me something. Was that crazy old vendor telling the truth?"

Oh no. "Um...yeah no. I think he thought I was someone else." I crossed my arms and stared ahead. Maybe if I look disinterested he'll change subjects.

Then a finger poked me sharply in the shoulder. Sighing, I looked over at him. He grinned and pulled me a little closer. _What is he up to?_

"Reno what--"

"Lean in why don't you, I'm not going to eat you or something." he laughed softly.

"You might." Even though I couldn't be sure that he might not try to eat me or something, I leaned in anyway.

He whispered little puffs of air in my ear. "Just between you and me. If you ever feel like getting a real guy instead of this lie you've spun; I'll take you on. I mean hey, you're cute--"

"Reno! I'm not lying, sheesh."

He snorted. "I know. Worth a shot though."

"A_ shot_?" I slapped at him causing him to dance a few inches away. "Oh shut up."

Even though it was a joke, I could feel an embarrassing heat rushing into my face. Do I really have to blush at _everything_?! Alleged blushing aside, I kinda am lying. Of all the secrets in the entire world that I was entrusted to keep over my twenty-one years, the one I'd rather not keep is the one that I really have to. Well not _have_ to. He didn't actually _order _it. But what would be the point of telling them? I also don't get why my personal life fascinates my guys (Yes. They're all mine. They just don't realize it yet) so much. They all have better stuff to do than concern themselves with whether or not I'm with anyone. Or maybe they're not actually concerned with my 'love' life but bring it up just to make conversation and watch me hyperventilate. Maybe all this time I've been going around being paranoid. Maybe I should stop being so defensive and obvious when they ask me? I mean, didn't I first bring them wind of my personal problems? If I don't give them a reason to probe then they won't. Then it can stay safely between me and Rufus--

But I want to tell them about it so** badly!!!!**

"....so I'm going to go home and have hot sex with a one-eyed fish and after that I'll bring it's funky dead slimy body to you wrapped in a bow."

"What?!"

"So you weren't listening. What's so much on your mind that you can't listen to the best person that ever lived? You're looking all deep and introspective. And a little like an angry termite"

"..I was uh...thinking about lots of things. So what were you saying? Sorry for dazing off."

_Did he just call me a termite?_

He shrugged lazily. "I was just asking you if you wanted to race."

"...race?"

"Yuh. I'm bored."

"I'm not gonna race you."

"Come on."

"Nooo.."

"C'mon."

"No."

"If you win, I'll give you 50 Gil and I'll stop pestering you about your personal life."

"Deal."

And then we slapped palms.

"Before you two revert back to childhood, check that out." Tseng said while putting his cell phone away smoothly.

The heat in my face increased. I looked in the direction of his gaze; nearby was a nice little sidewalk cafe.

"...."

"Do they have alcohol?"

"Nice."

"And cue high pitched holy music and a beam of light." he commented dryly before leading the way. _Gosh he's fantastic._

* * *

The sky was almost completely black, with a few stars here and there that were strong enough to fight of the artificial street lights. The air got steadily cooler and blew gentle winds through the fake plants bordering the sidewalk, making them bend and wiggle slightly. The sounds of others carried lightly to our table where we were nursing drinks. Mine had a blue hue and seemed to sparkle when the light hit it a certain way. Tseng's was clear and so was Rude's. Reno, who was sitting beside me and across from Rude, had five. They ranged from pink to brown and each glass was shaped differently.

"Mmh..." he chewed on his straw slowly and closed his eyes. "Yeah this one's good too. You should try it Rude."

"...."

Traffic hummed past us. Tseng pushed his hair from his face after another gust of wind tousled it. He looked up from his drink and met my gaze; a small simpering smile played on his lips. I wracked my head for something to say that would divert his attention from why I'm staring at him like some...something. This can't be good for my psyche. Before I could reach a solid conclusion, our waiter appeared behind him with two drinks in hand.

"Hello again." the man said politely.

"......"

"Oh are these on the house?" Reno sounded excited.

Tseng leaned in and muttered. "What's the likelihood that he's at the threshold between sober and intoxicated?"

Unsure of what else to do, I laughed softly. Then a thought crossed my mind. "I thought he didn't order anything alcoholic?"

"This is Reno we're talking about."

"I _can_ hear you." Reno snapped his fingers in our faces.

The waiter smiled politely. "I have drinks for...you sir....and you sir..."

He put down a small glass before Rude with a pink _umbrella_ floating around in it. Reno snorted, only to fall silent when a similar glass was sat down in front of him but instead of just an umbrella, a napkin with a phone number was placed beside his. Rude frowned slightly. Reno blinked. The waiter chuckled softly and pointed behind us to a table with a brunette woman that looked younger than sixteen and a guy in a very tight shirt.

"She gave us both ...drinks?" Reno stroked his chin and craned his neck to get a better view of the girl.

"Uh. No." the waiter sniffed. "_She_, gave this gentleman a drink. Her friend...gave you that one."

Her friend. The guy.

"What?!"

His shout of protest was drowned out by laughter from me, Rude, and Tseng. The waiter strolled away, chuckling.

"That's gold!" I took in a deep breath, wiping wetness from my eyes.

"Serves you right." Rude plucked the umbrella from his drink and set it lightly beside Reno's which was still floating in his cup.

"...so it seems Reno has a boyfriend." Tseng lifted his drink. "I think we should toast to that."

We lifted our glasses too and clinked them together with Tseng's. Who knew torturing Reno could be so fun? Reno grumbled and swore under his breath. He stared at the drink and shrugged. "Fine. All of you can kiss my ass. It's still a free drink."

"So perhaps you should go over there and give him a free kiss?" Tseng shrugged, not even breaking into a smile; though humor danced in his eyes. Gosh, he's really great. _Not only can he be funny without even trying but....oh lawd...am I gushing all over him?_

"I hate you." Reno threw the two umbrellas at Tseng, who simply moved an inch out of the way.

They smacked Reno's boyfriend in the back of the head. He looked around, confused and spotted Reno. He waved and winked. Eww..did he think that was a love tap?

"Love at first sight." Rude snorted and went back to his drink.

Reno grumbled.

"You guys are something else." I shook my head and went back to my drink. "But hey, since you brought it up. Do you believe in love at first sight, Rude?"

He raised an eyebrow, seemingly unsure of what to say. "No."

"It's merely infatuation." Tseng commented airily.

"Pure unadulterated horniness." Reno sipped his new drink. "That's all it is. Why'd you ask anyway Elena?"

I chewed on my straw. "No reason."

"There's a reason for everything. Ain't that right Tseng?" Reno asked.

Tseng looked thoughtful. "Yes."

"....."

It was silent for a moment; everyone seemed lost in their own beverage and thoughts. Rude's sunglasses slipped down his nose, revealing nice brown eyes I'd never seen before. He slipped them back into place.

"Hey Rude, you have really nice eyes. You should show them off more often." I said, resting my elbows on the table and holding my glass at eye level.

He looked up, raising an eyebrow. "Hmm..."

"Don't count on it. I've stolen, broken, thrown away, and burned those things before. They just keep coming back. It's almost as if he has an infinite supply somewhere in a black hole." Reno piped in after polishing off his boyfriend's glass.

"....."

Reno chuckled. "Remember the time I used them for target practice?"

An image of several pairs of sunglasses being throw into the air only to be shot perfectly by Reno while Rude stood, horrified in the background, popped in my head. I stifled a laugh.

"Remember what happened after?" Rude countered.

Reno thoughtlessly rubbed his left shoulder. "Yeah you used _me_ for target practice. Not cool..."

The image of Reno smugly looking at broken sunglasses only to feel either a fist or a bullet graze his shoulder and then realize that he'd better start running flashed across my mind. _Man...I'd pay to see that._

"You know...I have a confession."

All eyes were on me. A grin tugged at my mouth. They hear the word 'confession' and suddenly I'm the most important person out here.

"..Oh...I was just going to say that I was glad I decided to come with you guys." I shrugged.

Rude smiled slightly. Reno made a face, and then fished a lighter out of his pants and a cigarette. Tseng sighed heavily--dramatically. We looked at him. What was that for?

"I have a confession too." the hint of amusement played on his lips, ruining the previous serious sounding sigh. "I'm a bit glad I started that brawl at the bar."

"That was you?!" Reno, Rude, and I said at the same time.

Tseng shrugged. "It's nothing I'm proud of." even as he said it, he laughed softly. "How was I supposed to know that answering some drunken idiot's query in an honest fashion would get him so upset that he would attempt to swing at me?"

"And what happened then?" Tseng getting in a bar brawl was something I'd also pay to see. He'd most likely come out victorious, and then lots and lots of women would run to him and swoon at his--okay...yeah...

"I ducked and he punched a particularly bad tempered woman instead. It escalated from there." he sipped his drink. "I just walked away."

Tseng walking away from a fight he started with a smug look on his face while a lot of confused drunkards battled in the background was a fantastic thought. Oh man at this rate I'll have a lot to dream about tonight. Heh...hehe...

"Wouldn't be the first time you started a fight..." Reno paused and turned on his lighter. The flame flickered defiantly against the wind as he waited for it to catch to the cigarette. He put it to his lips--and then I slapped it out of his hand and into the street.

Ignoring Reno's irritated protest, I watched as a car dutifully ran over it.

"I'm only trying to save your life." I grinned at him before he could get any words out.

He grumbled and fished in his pockets again. I readied my hand--Tseng and Rude laughed--to slap yet another one away. Instead of cigarettes, he produced a pack of playing cards.

Without a word, he handed them to me and told me to deal.

And so I did.

"what are we playing anyway?" I straightened out my stack and began arranging them in order from least to greatest. My best card bore a huge black red-eyed Chocobo's head. _Yes_.

Reno's cards were already a fan in his hand. "The one where the black cards trump all the others. ...uh..what's it called.." he tapped the edge of the cards on the table sharply.

"Spathas." Tseng offered. His cards were also already fanned out. As was Rude's. "Partnership?"

"Nah. Every man--and Elena--for him--or her--self." Reno shrugged.

"Man or woman." I grumbled. "That makes me sound like an extra species that's neither. But...at least you attempted 'political correctness'."

Reno laughed softly. We startd. Within a few minutes Rude won. They went so fast, thinknig time was short. In fact, after the fourth round, Reno began making up rules as we went along, one being that thinking time was lmited to five seconds and if the person who's turn it was didn't put down a card, the person nearest them was allowed to take one blindly from their hand and play it regardless of what it was. Then the consequences would be on the slow player. This inspired all of us--even Tseng--to break the actual rules and create new ones.

"Hah! Won again." I wrote my score on our score..napkin.

"She's using her feminine wiles to cheat us." Reno complained good-naturedly, watching Tseng deal.

"Sore loser." Tseng and Rude said at the same time.

"Feminine wiles?" a grin tugged at my lips. I rolled my eyes at him. "I didn't realize I had any."

There was a collective laugh. The night wore on and got cooler. Traffic thinned out and other customers began to leave. My eyes got tired but I didn't care, I was on a roll.

"Brace yourselves kids..." Reno grinned mischievously and raised his final card into the air. So far, it would seem that I was about to win the last hand...but something tells me that whatever he's so evil about right now is higher than my own.

A fresh and surprisingly strong gust of wind blew past at the exact moment that his hand--with his card hidden beneath it--hit the table and all of the cards blew off.

"Damn!"

They twisted and turned within the breeze's grasp and were carried a significant distance away before landing scattered onto the street and sidewalk. Before anyone could react, Reno's Boyfriend jumped up from his own table and ran past saying how he will help us pick them up. Reno grimaced in reply and watched the guy literally crawling on the ground to get them all. His friend, on the other hand, acted as if nothing had happened and continued eating whatever she was eating.

Silence.

"Oh, how unfortunate, now we won't get to see Reno's victory dance." Tseng merely polished off his third drink and tossed his hair over his shoulders.

Rude snorted.

Reno gulped down his last two glasses. "I got your victory dance." he slammed the second one down on the table and raised a slender middle finger before stretching; almost hitting me in the face.. "Soo..." he stretched, almost hitting me in the face."How about we call it a night? Momma Tseng, I'm sure you have to get up early."

"....." Tseng ignored the momma comment. "I agree."

"Yup. Let's go Rude." Reno jumped up from the table and dusted himself off. Rude rose as well. Reno ran off down the sidewalk, kicking the cards out of his 'boyfriends' hand. Rude followed.

They disappeared around the corner before I realized something:

_They left me behind._

_....._

"Did they just leave me behind?" I said, in an unbearably high pitched voice to Tseng. How do they expect me to get home? Walk? I could...walk...I mean...it's not like anyone will attack me or something. I can take pretty good care of myself. But I don't want to walk!

"It would seem so." he didn't seem the least bit put out by this. He produced a few bills between the empty glasses. "Are you ready to go then?"

So I'm leaving with him?! Did Reno and Rude _plan _this? They are so gonna hear from me about this tomorrow!

"Uh...yes, sir." I said while standing and pushing my seat under. Maybe he did this to me because I flung his cancer stick into the street? Oh...what a cruel vengeful weasel he is! He's left me alone with the one (other) person I can't remember my own name around!! All of the progress I've made might just be shot to hell now! Bumbling Elena is two seconds from reappearing. Perhaps I should start a countdown.

"We're back to 'sir' again?"

5...4...3...2...

"I...uh..."

1.

"Relax, Elena. You won't be getting any extra credit for it." he rose from his seat, effortlessly.

_Extra _credit! Monkeys on a trampoline!!

"Yes, you are right, Tseng sir. Hah! Well...let's go." I stood up slowly and followed him.

We headed down the sidewalk and past Reno's desperate wannabe boyfriend before crossing streets. All which were very empty. Soon we were the only people out and I felt very aware of it. Each step-in an echoed silence-made me wish I had something to say. Adding to my discomfort was the increasingly cool air caressing my bare arms and shoulders. I cast a leery glance at Tseng; he felt me looking at him and met my gaze. I looked away and the night suddenly got warmer. Biting my lip, I crossed my arms and rubbed them gently.

"So...I had a lot of fun." is it just me or do I sound like an awkward ass? I'm not twelve!! I'm a _Turk! _This social situation shouldn't be the most daunting thing in my life! Seriously!

"Yes. I agree."

"Yeah." I said, wanting to add to it. I nibbled at my loose skin. "Tseng, am I completely hopeless, sir?"

"Hopeless how?"

"At...various things. Like right now." I sighed. "I don't know if you've noticed sir Tseng--now I've made you sound like a knight. Great!--but I can barely ...string together colorful sentences right now. I'm not just a stupid rookie with like...really weird and socially inept behavior. I'm extraordinary I swear." my voice echoed. _Shut up!_

"I know."

"You do?"

"Of course."

Oh my--

"That's...incredible sir." I said, trying to hold in a giggle.

He shrugged, clearly unaware of the effect of his words and the fact that a giggle was very close to exploding its contents all over him. "Not really. Everyone has something truly unique about themselves that, alone, would be considered extraordinary."

Silence. "Oh..."

"I ruined that, huh?" he sounded slightly apologetic.

I consciously nibbled my lip. Maybe he'll feel guilty! "A bit. Yes."

"Sorry."

_Aww shoot!_ He's begging to have Giggle all over him! Look at him! All...Tseng-like!

"....hah. It's okay."

Then we fell into a weird silence where every other sound was amplified:

A dog barking. A car door slamming. Our footsteps...breathing...the wind...my jumbled thoughts...my heartbeat...gah! I have to bring this up even if it may be a bad time!!

"Do I suck, sir?"

Do I _what?!_ That's not--

"Excuse me? Do you...suck?" he watched me from the corner of his eye. "I'm assuming you mean your performance at work."

"Yes actually...I didn't mean anything else of course." I laughed uncomfortably.

"Of course." he replied dryly. "Well, Elena what made you ask that?"

_Fidget._

"Well…" I stuffed my hands in my pockets, mostly because they were beginning to get cold but more so to have something to do with them. It is times like these where I wish my hands could go on auto-pilot. "Um..." what if he thinks I'm a bratty idiot for even expressing this? Ungrateful even! He's already told me to just be patient, and just do what I'm assigned. "Well..I haven't been on an field assignment since I accompanied Rufus. Uh...President Rufus...to the slums. That was a really big deal, of course, but after that I've just been doing well._..paperwork_. I'm starting to feel like an overpaid secretary, haha. And well..I just assumed it's because of something I did—most likely the incident at the Mythril Mines where I told Cloud and company where we were going…and stuff." I stared at my feet. "…is that why? I mean..I'm really starting to lose it from the boredom. Sir."

There was a tense moment of silence where he sighed slightly and a random cat ran across our path. I watched the cat run across the street, and dodge said car. When it reached the other side it settled down on the sidewalk and licked it's paws peacefully. Lucky cat. Maybe I could run off with it or..hide under a rock. _Gosh! Can't he just answer me already? _Is it really that bad?

"Well..Elena."

"Sir?" I bit my lip. "Am..I totally ruining the night by discussing work?"

He chuckled softly. "No. It's a valid question." He looked up at the sky. The wind brushed through his hair again, and after it left the black tendrils settled on his shoulders. "Elena, I'm not going to lie to you."

I groaned inwardly. Always a bad sign!

"…Heidegger doesn't really concern himself with tiny details involving us too often, which usually leaves me to decide who goes where and does what. But, other.." he paused as if he were trying to see how to word this. "Persons with higher authority may not want you going on assignments where they fear you could jeopardize something."

"….really?"

"It would seem so. You could ask him yourself. Though, I wouldn't recommend it."

He wouldn't recommend it. Hmm....who could it possibly—oh...no..

"Is it…"

"Don't ask me. I'm sure you can come to that conclusion on your own."

"Hmm..." I bit my lip and fell silent. If he's thinking what I'm thinking he's thinking I'm thinking about thinking then..

He came to a halt; I stumbled, almost running right into him. Across the street was the parking lot we'd started out on. The only car left on the parking lot was a black one with tinted windows. I took a step forward..

_Those dogs really did leave me!! Well we'd better get this over with quick. The faster Tseng takes me home..the faster I can freak out in private about Tseng and what he told me and—_

"Elena!"

A loud horn blast shattered my thoughts. I felt myself get pulled back in time to feel the wind of a car rushing past and blowing my hair into my eyes. I was being held firmly around the waist..

"…hehe…did I almost just get hit by a car?" my feet were half way off the curb. Who's holding..me..then?

"Yes." His voice was very level next to my ear. Warmth spread from my feet to my face. His grip was firm. Hehehhahaha...

"Sorry.. T-hank you?"

His arms around my waist was all I could think about; even after he withdrew with a soft, yet tense, laugh. I laughed too. Imagine that, I'm absent minded enough to almost walk off a curb with a car coming towards me. Haha…so does this mean I should swoon in his arms in the most cliché manner and say breathily: "My..hero!"?

Probably not.

"Sorry..about that. I should pay more attention." I laughed uncomfortably, running a hand through my hair.

"You should." he didn't seem too affected by that. "Let's get you home."

"Right!"

Without another word, we walked side by side across the street.

Moments later, I found myself staring out of the window at buildings and other cars passing by; trying to avoid looking (shamlessly gawking) at him and hide the redness in my cheeks that hadn't left since the whole _Walking -In -The- Street -Without -Looking- Both- Ways_ thing. He didn't say much of anything either, and there wasn't an expectant air as if we should talk about anything. Just a normal..silence...

It didn't take long to get to my apartment building. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. The air had a uncaring chill to it as I removed myself from the car and said a cheeky (are _**all **_my teeth visible right now!?) bye (or several). I made it up to the front doors, and glanced over my shoulder and waved again (gosh I'm such a girl..) before stepping inside. I contained myself until I unlocked the front door of my apartment and stepped inside. Without turning the light on, I shut the door and leaned against it for a moment. I closed my eyes and tried to erase the giddy warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.

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_**A/N: Well. I am so sorry guys! I had seriously meant to update during the Holiday break (Happy New Year people!) but the strangest thing kept happening: I kept getting stuck. I blame Tseng. It's all his fault. I started this chapter over four or six times and this time I just wrote and wrote and refused to stop until I couldn't anymore. I think it turned out fine. I hope it did anyway. I have to know what you guys think, especially of Tseng during this chapter. I can't believe how tough it was for me to break down that TSENG barrier and integrate him with the others. I wanted to show off his characterization a little more, especially his unique sense of humor that I'm inclined to believe he possesses. He strikes me as a dry and sarcastic type when he's being light-hearted about something. I hope it works and ties in nicely with everyone else. I hope I did them all justice. Tell me if you think so and about the chapter as a whole—you can also rail at me for not updating earlier—in a review! Also, I am going to post the redo of Chapter 5 when I post the next chapter. And! I don't know if y'all noticed but I wrote a new story! It's..well..it's a crackhumor story about Vincent and Cid. I would love it if y'all read it.**_

_**Also, I have to thank Lin Hikaru-7 for all those crazy messenger conversations we have and her idea about the umbrella in the guy's glasses. Good call woman! And, also, the game they're playing is actually Spades but I changed the name to Spathas. A spatha is related to a spade (the tool) so..yeah. Anyway! There you go.**_

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_**Questions of the Day: So what about Tseng? Is it just me or does it seem like Reno always brings up the three lettered S word? And finally my last question: "........"**_

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	21. It's About Perspective

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_**GW08: Well aren't you glad I updated sooner this time? I would have updated Saturday, but you can thank the site for that whole...login glitch that lasted almost four days. I don't have much to say, as you know I try to avoid Authoress Notes at the beginning of chapters these days, but I just wanted to point out—though this is probably obvious—that these long stretches of italicized scenes are indeed flashbacks. I hope you like them. I've always been weary of how to do flashbacks. I hope you guys enjoy them and aren't annoyed by the amount of flashbacks I did. They just...happened. It wasn't my fault! Well enjoy! Well..enjoys..make sure you're comfortable because this is a long chapter!!**_

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**Chapter 21**

It's About Perspective

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She always told me that everything has a reason behind it and that those reasons have reasons behind those reasons behind those reasons; and then she'd lose her train of thought because she confused me and herself. My mom, that is. That leads me to wonder now that if everything happens for a reason then why am I stuck behind a desk even though I've had ample opportunity to talk to Rufus about it?And speaking of Rufus...why did he happen? Well....I know _why _he happened! His parents did a scene from 'biology'...which brings up bad memories of the awkward discussion with my mother, father, and some old man back when I worked in a bar in the slums. But no. Horror aside, what about Rufus? And that whole 'us' thing of sorts?

Because I still don't know what to label it.

_...and then there he was as if some higher being delved into my increasingly batshit subconscious; In a look of pure white importance Rufus appeared, heading in the opposite direction—towards me—and talking on his cell phone. I wanted to call out to him and wave or something but the business side of me was very stern these days about unnecessarily interrupting higher authorities or stalking their office. I focused my energies on continuing to walk forward—with more swish to my hips, I'm only mildly ashamed to admit--and hope he'd get out of his phone conversation. Just when we crossed paths and I cursed the heavens, cosmos, lifestream, and the Ancients, he stopped short and did a double-take. He beckoned me to him, his previous business-like/slightly annoyed expression allowed a smirk to start its appearance. I wondered if this meant he was happy to see me._

"_Yes...that's all very interesting..." he spoke to the person on the other line but kept my gaze. "Just do as you're told, yes? Uhhuh." and he abruptly ended the call. "Hello, Elena."_

"_Hi, sir." Silently, I wished I wasn't empty-handed. If my hands were full, my arms wouldn't awkwardly hang to the sides or I wouldn't gesture too much and end up poking him in the eye. "Um...hi yeah. Sorry about leaving you the other night...you'll never believe what Reno called for! He wanted me to go out for drinks with himself, Rude, and Tseng..."_

_I yelled at myself to shut up because he didn't actually ask me about it, but couldn't stop._

_Towards the whole Reno Rude abandonment part, he cleared his throat. My face burned. Hiding under a rock seemed like a good idea._

"_I'm sorry...it's just that...it's hard to talk to you …with the...it..." I mumbled._

_Rufus raised an eyebrow. "Come closer. I didn't catch that."_

_Uncertainly stumbled forward. "By 'It' I mean...our ...uh...extracurricular employer/employee...interactions..."_

Extracurricular? What is it? After school sports?! But...somehow he still manages to tolerate me and my "endearing" qualities. But why? Because he can't live without me?

HAH! I think not.

Of course I shouldn't question too much. I mean I'm with Rufus Shinra! That's something to be happy about even if I can't seem to be totally comfortable around Rufus when at the end of the day...he's my boss...

_Chairs scraped as everyone began to stand. I quietly glanced in Rufus's direction at the top of the table on the way out behind Rude. He was surrounded by Scarlet and Heidegger. They are a funny pair—not like that!!—one being big, beefy, and round while the only thing on the other that sits out is her chest as it struggles beneath another low-cut red number. My thoughts go back to Sara and our most recent phone conversation where she described a combination of their laughs as an equivalent of a cat being run over by a lawn mower. She was tired of hearing them laughing together in Scarlet's private office while she and two of the other best Weapons Developers slaved over the blue print for some new robot weapon they wanted designed. The Proud Clod or something. They never told her what it was for and she said she wasn't paid enough to listen to them cackle in Scarlet's private office._

_Now, at this moment, I could see exactly why._

"_Kya ha ha! KYA HAHA!"_

"_Gya haa haa haa haa gya hahha!"_

"_Shut that horse laugh up right now. Both of you."_

_I held back my own laugh at Rufus's blunt demand. It's about time someone said it. They stopped; looking offended. Without much else to say, they concluded their conversation with Rufus and left. Thus leaving just myself and him in the conference room. I mumbled a "Hello" and made for the door._

"_Elena."_

_I stopped and turned, unsure of whether he was going to order me to do something or..kiss me. He did neither. Instead he led the way out and for a completely offended and somewhat feminist moment I thought that the only reason he stopped me was to walk out first. Then he rested a hand at the small of my back—sending a rushing tingle up my spine—and steered me into an elevator._

"_Oh...no...I still hate elevators."_

"_I know."_

_Asking him how he knows would be pointless, so I racked my brain for something related and came up with this:_

"_Have you ever walked all the way to your office, using the stairs?"_

_Rufus scoffed and looked incredulously at me; at the same time the doors opened. _

"_Are you serious?"_

"_I...yeah...I always take them."_

_He 'hmphed' and pressed the button to the highest possible floor. _

"_I'm getting the impression that wasn't your real question."_

_And how right he was. I'd been toying with the idea of doing something with him during parts of the meeting that didn't concern me. At his inquiry though, my palms began to sweat and everything suddenly felt hot._

"_I....I just was thinking about asking you to have lunch with me." I winced, waiting for a reply._

"_Ah."_

"_Please say more than ...'ah'...sir. I can be very neurotic about one-syllable words."_

_He laughed softly. "We should have lunch."_

"_Great."_

_Silence._

"_Hmm."_

"_Hmm?"_

"_That is me wondering how to ask you something."_

_One glance at him and the inflection of his tone told me that he was sampling my words in an ironic manner. "Ask me...what sir?"_

"_Would you say you're a bit...scared?_

"_Wh...wow...how...no...I mean..."_

_He gave me a...look._

"_No!! no!" I gestured wildly. Intimidating? Yes. Fear inspiring? Sure! Scary? Noooo. Sephiroth currently holds that title next to the resident mad-scientist Professor Hojo. "It's...just...I don't know how to be around you anymore since... Sir. I...yeah..."_

_Anymore? Since when was I ever not spazzed out by him?_

_"Hmm.."_

I returned the next few days to his office during the lunch hour. After Chaminade reached fifteen for the amount of times she's seen me coming to his office with/without an official reason, I began to wait until after she herself went on a lunch break. I have to admit, it's exhilarating sometimes. Though, not being able to explain why I always disappear at random (thought they don't notice often when they're on assignment) or other things isn't pleasing. He never answers his reason behind keeping it to ourselves.....

_I stood out on the balcony outside of his office alone, leaning forward, looking downward at the city below. The wind from this height was chilly today and the dark cloud cover was even greater. I crossed my arms against another gust of wind as it reached my skin through my blazer. I zipped it up and vaguely wondered if I should return to Rufus's office where he was conducting a conference with the other executives via speaker. I'd left in the first place to give them confidentiality (though I told him that I just wanted some air), though that actually seemed stupid after I thought about it giving the fact that I am a Turk and therefore it really wouldn't matter. But I stayed out anyway._

_Thick clouds moved slowly across the sky and were closely followed by more of the same type. I lost track of time, staring at it, barely noticing my fingers around the metal rails, getting painfully cold._

_I did notice, however, a sudden warmth snake around my waist and against my neck._

"_.....hi..." heat rushed into my skin. "The meeting is over I guess, Rufus?" I added 'sir' at the last second. It's hard to be informal..._

"_Yes. Finally."_

_I leaned against him, yet my grip tightened around the bars, letting cold sink further into my fingers, for a second I imagined a Sara-made gun designed for fingerless people. "Oh...ok... did you...enjoy the meeting?"_

"_I hate them..." He commented airily, his lips brushed my neck when he spoke._

_My grip tightened, heat rose in my face. What if someone happened to see us out here? "Really? Heidegger and Scarlet?"_

"_Mostly. And Palmer--" he scoffed. "At least the others are useful—even Reeve—but that one..." he trailed off, scoffing again._

_With each word, his lips brushed my neck effortlessly, and each one caused my grip to tighten more until all feeling in my hands was gone. I swallowed._

"_...what about Hojo? Though...didn't he resign and run off to Costa Del Sol?"_

_He took his time answering. "..We will retrieve him when necessary. There is no resigning in a position like his."_

_Or mine. I thought quietly. "If you dislike them, why do you keep them sir?"_

"_If their incompetence outweighed their knowledge and their abilities then I would dispose of them. But, as of right now, that would be a truly stupid thing to do."_

_So true._

_We stood in silence. _

"_Rufus, sir."_

"_Yes?"_

"_...why do you not wish to tell anyone about this?"_

"_......."_

"_I mean...it's not like you'd get in trouble. You're the President."_

_The silence was short but seemed to extend on forever. "Why does it matter?"_

"_Well...because..."_

_And then my PHS rang._

When I'm not with him, or the guys things can get very tedious and mundane. Actually worse than mundane. Like drink-poison-for-fun kind of boring. How can such a cool job make a person want to drink poison for _fun?_

The answer comes in one word. Paperwork.

It sends shivers each time. Anyone else would probably be thrilled with desk work but not me. People like me aren't meant to do a lot of meaningless paperwork. Our battle scars are supposed to be inflicted by monsters, and human enemies or targets. A battle wound isn't supposed to be a paper cut (which hurts like hell by the way) that bleeds incessantly. A girl like me wasn't hired to file things away and run errands. I'm not an assistant or secretary. I'm a Turk. Turks _go on assignments. _They don't sit around and stare out of the window, watching their co-workers returning on a helicopter and wish they'd been allowed to come. And they definitely don't make frequent trips to the archives of one of the basement floors and spend most of the day looking for single documents for who knows what. And they're not supposed to be 25% clueless during meetings and have to be filled in on the stuff they should already know. Most of all, they should already have the nerve to question a certain somebody about why they've been intentionally and unofficially put on desk duty.

However, it is hard to approach said person when I haven't seen them all week because unlike me, they're actually busy. And the one time I did see him, he was surrounded by ShinRa executives—Heidegger, Scarlet, and Reeve—and I can't be quite sure but I'm guessing that me demanding any explanation in front of them would be regarded as either completely inappropriate or eyebrow raising. The most I got out of him yesterday was a glance before he smoothly looked away as they passed by. I admit the butterflies in my stomach had a field day from the simple (hot!) gesture of acknowledgement. He _could_ have just coldly ignored me, so yes I was thrilled. But then, I reminded myself that Rude was with me, and beneath those sunglasses he could see anything.

What's worse? Being stuck inside with mounds of paperwork or having to keep a secret?

It's hard to say, but keeping secrets aren't something I'm good at. Especially when it's also a secret (to me) as of why I must keep it to myself. Secrets—like paperwork—are torture. The worst thing is it's not until a person told to keep it to themselves that it becomes hard to do so. There were many times in my childhood that my sister would do something and then tell me not to tell mom and dad. Every time I would tell them anyway and then four black eyes later we would have to think up a lie ("we were wrestling" gets old quick) to explain the torn clothes and bruises. And then I would end up ruining the lie and accidentally revealing the truth--

_The sun bore down on my skin, burning it and adding to the pain of a split lip and angry swollen nail marks running down my arm and right thigh. My head throbbed painfully, irritated by my hair almost being pulled from the roots. Sand grains burrowed into my feet and uncomfortably under my swimsuit. My eyes stung from the salt in the ocean that was lapping at the shore near us. I wanted no more than to run into it and cool myself and my wounds off. But I couldn't. Beside me, attempting to activate 'cure' Materia in her blue bikini was my sister. A frustrated frown ran across her face, just above the angry scar on her cheek that bled freely. It was one of the many, I'm proud to say, I managed to inflict before she finally overpowered me. _

_I offered to help her activate it._

"_No!" she barked, licking blood from her swelling lip. Her green eyes flashed._

_Anger swelled up in me, my fists tightened and I was ready to go another round. "Maybe it won't work because you stole it from dad's stuff!" I matched her tone._

_She sneered and looked away over her shoulder, her sand encrusted long golden hair swung behind her. I touched my own, which was a little paler, and quietly wished that I'd let mom cut my split ends the other night._

"_They're coming." she flung the Materia into the ocean._

_Sure enough, mother, wrapped in a cover up, and dad, in swim trunks, was heading towards us. We'd left them sleeping under a beach umbrella, someone must've alerted them to the fact that they're daughters were probably trying to kill each other again._

"_What are we going to tell them?" my voice was not as stable as hers._

"_We'll tell them what they want to hear." she replied with cool confidence. "I'm not going to let you ruin our vacation they'll never take us anywhere again."_

"_We're going to lie?"_

"_Lying is an ugly word. We're just going to tell them that a shark attacked us."_

_I stared at the confidence on her face. "That's stupid."_

_She shot a withering glance my way, making me feel more stupid than she. "We're kids. They expect us to say outlandish things. Just don't tell them that I beat you up--_

"_I beat you up too!"_

"_Yeah right. Just don't tell them...unless you want to end up in some reform school for troubled kids."_

"_There isn't one." I wanted to believe myself but the smug look on older sister's face made me doubt it._

"_Just let me do the talking..."_

So much for that. Like I said. Secrets suck. If she was here right now what would she think about her little sister being forced to do desk work? Even worse, what would she think about me being involved with Rufus Shinra....

"_Who's that?" my breath fogged up the window, I quickly brushed it away to get a better view. I wiped my hands on my skirt and cursed my uncomfortable socks sliding down my ankles. _

_Just through the glass of the gym was the courtyard of ShinRa Military Academy. Walking casually by past open-mouthed girls and jealous looking boys was a teenage boy that stood out (just as he wanted to I'm sure) in an expensive white ensemble. His blond hair shined against the sun. Beside him was a taller young man in a dark suit and sunglasses._

"_You don't know?" my sister looked incredulous. Now her hair was cut short and mine was still long and even worse: it was in pigtails. She cut hers in the bathroom one night after a teacher mistook her for her 'crappy younger sister'._

"_I don't care about ShinRa people." I said with as much contempt as I could muster. Actually, I'd just gotten better at lying. I knew exactly who that arrogant young Shinra was; I just didn't want to admit it. I hated ShinRa for the mere fact that their Turks (like the man in sunglasses) were better fighters than me. That deserves contempt. I also knew why they were here._

"_Maybe you should tell him that." _

_She grabbed my wrist, ignoring my protests. With one swift tug she pulled me toward a door that would lead outside to him. I resisted, pulling back, threatening to pop my own arm out of socket. She pushed the door open, ignoring my screams. I dug my nails into the door, resisting. She yanked harder until I let go and fell back, right into her arms. Her grip was fierce around my waist and my arms were pinned to the sides. Dread rushed through me; I couldn't let her do this to me. I kicked and twisted until her grip slacked and pulled away abruptly. _

"_I'm not afraid of him! I'll tell him what I think of him right here!!"_

"_Then do it, here he comes right now!"_

_Sure enough, Rufus and a tall sunglasses wearing man in a dark blue suit—a Turk, I thought enviously—came around the corner. Rufus Shinra. I felt my sister nudge me hard in the back; I resisted. My teeth grinded together painfully, torn between telling him what I thought of him...maybe even dirtying up his stupid white suit. But no I didn't. He caught my eye, his electric blue eyes lingering only for a second before he looked away and said something to the bald Turk. Then they were gone and the tension in the air subsided._

"_Heh...I thought you were going to tell him what you thought of him."_

"_Shut up." I rounded on her, my fists balled. "You just want father to have another reason to be disappointed in me within a week span!"_

_She rolled her brilliant eyes. "Maybe." she wrapped an arm across my shoulders. "I hear they're looking for new recruits...for the Turks."_

"_They...they are?"_

"_Yeah! Weren't you listening? Or did you forget as soon as you saw his face?"_

"_Who's?"_

"_Hah. Rufus Shinra's of course. You have a crush on him don't you...most girls do...even older women do."_

"_What?! No I don't! I hate him as much as I hate you...and asparagus."_

_She merely laughed and steered me in the same direction that the Turk and Shinra had went. "Admit it."_

_I rushed behind her to keep up and explain to her how ridiculous that sounded and that when I liked a ShinRa, hell would freeze._

And now I'm left to wonder what snowstorms are like in hell.

Knock. Knock knock. Knock.

"Come in." I chewed on a pen top and looked up. "It better not be paperwork." I added in an undertone.

Rude appeared at the door. "Have you seen Reno?"

"No...didn't you guys just get back from assignment?"

"Yeah..." he sounded slightly apologetic. Probably because yesterday I vented to him about how much I hate desk work.

"Oh..."I chomped down hard on the top and felt it snap under pressure. "No I haven't seen him. Is something wrong?"

Without saying a word, he waved me along and left the door frame. Curious, I rose from my desk for the first time all day and followed him into the hall. He paused at his door. And there it was:

Tape wildly strung up across his door like an X barring a crime scene. Written on printing paper, in neat bold letters was

_CAUTION: TOXIC BALD MAN AT WORK_

A snort bubbled up, I coughed it away and poked Reno's handiwork.

"Gotta love him though...right?"

"Love is not the word I'm looking for." Rude crossed his arms.

The sound of footsteps made us turn around. Tseng appeared his cell phone in one hand and a cup of something in the other. He paused, raising the sup to his lips; his brown eyes traveled over the door. He released a sigh.

"So that's where my tape went."

"HAH!"

_Crap. Did I just laugh louder than I meant to? I should get an award for selfless ass kissing!_

He looked over at me, catching my eye. A small smile played on his lips.

Tehehe...

"He's going to join us soon I'm sure." Tseng headed for his office.

Rude sighed and started peeling tape from his door.

"Wait sir!"

Tseng stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Do I have any assignments?"

Hope is a funny thing when there clearly is no means for it. The time it took for him to look down at his cell was intense. For a hot second I believed he would say--

"No."

"But why?" I almost whined but held back and only nodded. I'll just ask him myself...yeah that's what I'll do.

"Oh...ok." I bit my lip. "I'm...I'm going to go ...get lunch. I haven't' eaten all day...."

* * *

I stopped short with grapes in one hand in a little plastic thingie and two big muffins wrapped in a napkin nestled between my arm and side. The perfectly plump white grape mere inches from my mouth fell to the floor and rolled away down the clean halls of floor sixty-four.

It was him...her...it...

At first glance the person strolling past with an armful of leather bound books looked like a woman with a trail of dark brown—almost black—hair waving behind her. But my senses have been deceived by this woman before. Suddenly, I have to know who this is because if there is another thing that bugs me more than anything, it's mystery.

"Hey you!"

The figure stopped and turned around, readjusted its books. In five long strides I reached him. Beneath thick heavy eyelashes were confused dark eyes. With full lips, smooth looking skin, a delicate frame that looked like a mere poke would tip him over, and clean manicured nails...no wonder I'm confused!

"Hello?" his voice was smooth and soft but definitely masculine. Why must nature play such unfair tricks? "Do...you need something from the library?"

"Library?" Does he have a twin?! "No...haven't I seen you before in the Department of Urban Development? You're a secretary."

A small polite smile graced his lips. "No. I was filling in for a friend; since I work in the library it doesn't really matter if I'm not there often. The only thing I really do is..." he glanced at his books with a sigh. "Is filing things and tell people that they don't have the proper clearance to check something out. Well...it's nice to meet you uh..." he cocked his head to the side.

"Elena."

And then his eyes fell on my chest. For an uncomfortable moment I was about to raise him up by his neck and shake perv out of him. Then he gasped softly and I decided that those things wouldn't cause that much shock—when concealed. Tehehe...rawr....

"You are a Turk?" his eyes glistened with awe.

Hah! A Turk that's unfortunately on desk duty but none the less...

"Yeah." I grinned. "Shocking, I know. So...what is your name? It's been driving me batshit."

"......bat...shit?"

"Elena?"

"I have to go."

"Wait!"

The unnamed effeminate turned on his heel and walked away. I turned around towards the familiar voice and sure enough, Sara was strolling towards me with a medium sized cardboard box held against her chest.

"Hi Sara! I knew it was you."

"Hi. How did you know it was me?" she adjusted the box.

"We talk enough on the phone hmmm?" my gaze fell to the box. "What's in there?"

She shrugged. "The head of Urban Development, Reeve, asked me to add some new features to his Cait. So that's really great." she practically beamed. "I just got this one from his office."

"You seem really happy about that."

She nodded, pushing back a strand of long black hair. "Ohh yeah I am. What are you up to? Just got back from some exciting assignment I'm sure. You Turks have been busy lately, huh?"

"Well..."

I wish I could say I was on some exciting assignments and that the most interesting thing I've done today hasn't been filing papers and well...running into her in the hall. "..I'm...not really busy."

Her eyes widened, almost sympathetically. "...ah. Still nothing? I'm sure there's a logical explanation for it."

Grr...sympathy. I need to punch something!

"Yeah.... or maybe..." I chewed on my bottom lip; I wanted to tell her the reason that I think I've been getting no action.

"Yeah?"

"I dunno." I shrugged, keeping it to myself.

Actually I do know. I know if I don't get to do something useful soon that I will probably snap. "So...have you seen...uh...Chaminade lately?"

She raised an eyebrow, readjusted the box, and laughed tersely. "Actually no. Chaminade's not someone I talk to often."

Well...this is interesting.

"Oh...I thought you guys were friends."

"Actually--"

"--though then again, you can't make friends with someone in a day."

"Right. Its weird really." her gaze fell into the box. She reached inside, moving something around. "A few days after she got hired, she made it her business to meet me. Very aggressive really."

"Well that's understandable. You're really cool." a grin tugged at my lips.

She shook her head, fighting a smile. "No really, I'd seen her a few times around and one day while I was at lunch she popped up beside me and started chattering and asking all sorts of questions. Once she learned I worked for Weapons Development, she became my shadow. She already knew my name for goodness sake!" she laughed softly, shaking her head so that her earrings glittered through her hair. "After we went out with you, however, she stopped following me around and, I'm actually kinda glad. I'm pretty busy these days..." as if to punctuate that fact, she adjusted the box again.

Oh how I wish I was busy too. Sigh. Maybe I'll eat myself into a coma.

"Oh...that's..."

"Kind of weird, yes?" Sara glanced over her shoulder. "I should go."

"Yeah me too."

She waved. "Nice to see you again."

And then I had a random thought.

"Have you seen Reno around?"

She stopped, and the strangest expression crossed her face. "No.......................why? Did he say something?"

I shrugged. "Rude was looking for him."

She laughed suddenly very lightly. "Oh. Ah...right. Well...okay. I'll see you later." and she left around the corner.

I found my way to an elevator and pressed the button with my elbow. When it opened an unpleasant surprise came with it. I hesitated and blinked...stupidly I'm sure. Scarlet's grinning face changed into a vicious snarl. Okay...not a snarl...a slight frown. She cocked her blond curly head to the side and asked me once, twice...three times if I was getting on or not. Heidegger's boisterous cackle is what made me realize where I was once again. I nodded, mumbled, and stumbled in, finding myself pressed into a corner and being completely ignored. My anxiety slowly went away as I found myself listening to their conversation, that I believe they'd been having before I stepped on. I was just a momentary pause, a comma...a period...a semi-colon of sorts in their chatter...

".....he's going to Rocket Town. Why must he go? That's what Turks are for right? Then again...you did say he can't stand just sitting around. KYA KYA KYA! he's crazy. I love making others..." her eyes fell on me briefly. "Do the dirty work." Scarlet ran a hand through her bouncy blond curly up-do.

I bit my lip and stared hard at the ground, unwilling to catch her attention or Heidegger's. The last thing I want is that! Then they'll know I'm listening in to a conversation that has nothing to do with me.

The elevator stopped sooner than I thought it would. I stepped off, quietly blessing the Ancients that I got away from them before they ate me alive or something.

_Have they done redecorating or something? My floor doesn't look like this...wait..._

I sighed. Great. The wrong floor. Now I have to take the stairs anyway. Something I usually don't mind doing but today I just don't have the energy. This is rich considering the fact that I have so much of it pent up from not doing anything. Maybe I'm so full of potential energy that it is tiring me out? Or maybe--

"Oh hey! Look who it is!"

For a split second I thought I was hallucinating. Reno was holding an audience with a man that was leaning against a wall. This man being none other than Rufus Shinra. He looked in my direction; I met his eye and quickly looked away. Reno waved me over. Without much of a choice, I stumbled forward, wishing quietly that I wasn't holding this _crap. _Rufus caught my eye again, with a mask of indifference, and then focused his attention outside of the glass.

"Where are you wandering from?" Reno asked.

Lunch isn't something I want to say. It will further punctuate the fact that my assignments include staving off paper cuts and avoiding dirty looks from Roslyn.

"Um...Tseng and Rude are looking for you." I focused my eyes on Reno and the window while being painfully aware of Rufus's presence.

"Oh..." Reno grinned, his eyes flashed mischievously as if he just remembered his 'awesome' deed. "I know why. Hey, Elena...didn't you say you wanted to ask someone about work?"

_"...I have half the mind to ask Rufus Shinra himself! Demand answers y'know?"_

_".....right..." Rude continued to contemplate his next chess move._

_"Ohh...really?" Reno peered over my shoulder and took the liberty of moving my piece._

_"Yeah really!!"_

_"Oh...really?" something about the way he said it made me second guess myself._

_"Yeah...really?"_

"Oh?" Rufus looked over at me, his interest seemingly peeked; a small smirk materialized.

"Yeah man-"

_Man?_ He called Rufus 'man'?! I can't even call him _Rufus_ without adding a teensy weensy 'sir' at the end and _I_ have kinda sorta felt him up! Okay maybe not ....totally...felt him up unless it includes undressing him with my eyes a little! I mean! I usually don't get too far because my imagination can't seem to figure out how to undo his complicated clothing!

"-Elena here has been dyin to talk to ya."

I attempted to give him my dirtiest look before looking to Rufus. "hehe..."

"Oh...is that so?" he moved forward slightly, crossing his arms.

"No--"

"It _so_ is so, Rufus." Reno ruffled my hair--

_Gah not in front of him!_

--and chortled darkly. "Should I leave?"

"Yes." Rufus tore his gaze away, in favor of Reno. "I'll have her back to you sooner or later."

Reno shrugged. "Don't kill her. Or scare her too much; she's like a neurotic rabbit."

"Hey!"

"Of course not...why would you say that?"

Reno and Rufus's way of talking to each other was almost..... familiar. Then again, Reno talks to everyone like that and I guess they have known each other long enough.

"Heh. Well keep her as long as you want. We won't miss her, boss." In a split second he flashed me a smug grin and took my stuff.

"...hey..."

"You'll thank me later." Reno wagged the container of grapes in my face; said a 'later' to Rufus and left towards an elevator.

_I'm going to smother him in his sleep!!_

"So..." heat rose into my face the instant Reno was gone."I'm sure you...are busy..."

"That's irrelevant isn't it, Elena?" he smirked slightly and brushed his hair from his face. "Come. Tell me what you want."

And then we were walking down the hall, Rufus got polite 'hello sirs' and all I got was ignored. We stopped at an elevator, he pressed up, the doors opened and we stopped on an one with a view. The city is overcast in a dim gray, huge dark clouds moved lethargically across it with no intention of moving quickly to allow sunlight. Though it was still morning, it looked closer to dusk. When the doors closed, the cold formality in the air weakened. He leaned against the glass and regarded me with his seemingly undivided attention.

"Well?"

"Yeah...see..." might as well ask him now. "I haven't been on any assignments lately, not really, and I hear--I understand that well...I really hate desk work."

He was silent.

"I mean...I can't help but wonder why you wouldn't --well not _you_ exactly--give me anything. I'm a rookie Turk; I kinda need more field experience. Or...is that it? Do I really...am I a problem? Am I....do you see me as incompetent and more harm than good?"

"Elena, don't you think you're thinking a little too deeply into this?"

"...maybe..." suddenly I am not really sure. Maybe it simply is a matter of there not being a need for Turks where two or one will do? Somehow I don't believe that. "So...I guess this means that you aren't trying to keep me from dangerous missions because we are...well...involved..." heat rose into my face again."...and you're afraid for my...well being..."

He scoffed softly. "Of course not, that's ridiculous."

A sigh of relief escaped me. "I'm glad! It'd be pretty pointless giving the fact that it's my job to do dangerous stuff and protect you and other important people."

"I agree."

That went better than I thought it would. I should thank Reno. I would but then...he'll do his victory dance/shimmy...or victory eyebrow raise...or victory high five or victory kick or victory smirks...or--

"So..." I glanced at the numbers as they lit up.

"You know..."

I looked to him; picking at a particularly loose piece of skin on my finger.

"...I think I have something for you to do."

"Really?! Seriously?!"

"Yes. I'll need you to...escort me."

"Escort you where?" FINALLY!

"To my place."

"Your..." my mind came to a screeching halt.

"You didn't think I lived at headquarters did you?" he smirked.

"No! Of course not...it just...what are we going for?" my thoughts now rushed around in wild circles.

"I've left something important behind." he answered promptly.

Heh. That's strange. He doesn't strike me as a person to forget things. Ever.

* * *

When Rufus leads me in, with his hand firmly planted at the small of my back, I'm not sure what to expect. I didn't even realize he had released me once we stepped over the threshold. My boots clacked on the rich hard wood flooring, my gaze swept the room. A large floor-to-ceiling window provided most of the light—which was weak today—and a generous view of the city. A staircase ran near it in a spiral and disappeared elegantly. A black grand piano stood near a far corner of his spacious living room. His furniture had a contemporary modern look, the most noticeable being his black leather sectional and the glass coffee table in the center of it. There was an archway leading from the living room down a hall that I suddenly wanted to explore. It was exactly what I'd expected: way better than my crap.

"Wow...I think I'm a little envious."

He chuckled softly but didn't comment on it. "I shall only be a moment." he left my side and crossed over to the base of a staircase that curved as a spiral. He disappeared; I could barely hear his footfalls.

With him gone, I hesitate at the door, just arms length from Rufus's...stuff and I'm not really sure what to do. I am on duty so I can't just walk around and snoop through things. Should I sit on his lovely black furniture and just bore my eyes into the big painting on the wall, or into that fancy glass coffee table? What if he doesn't want me to sit down? I mean wouldn't that be a little...presumptuous? Its one thing to go around breaking into his stuff in the office but this is his home...that would be totally unprofessional of me. Even if I really want to go down through that arch hallway or up those stairs...it would be totally out of line. Yep. I'll just...go to the window and stare out of it. I'll just ignore all of my natural instincts and be a good employee. Yup. A good employee is what I am. I'm just going to...go...to the window...

...or to his piano...

I hovered uncertainly over the piano case before lifting it up and revealing its keys. I bit my lip and tapped my chin, trying to remember something from my short lived piano lessons. The only reason why I took piano lessons was because I was upset that my sister was taking them with our mother and I wasn't. After a month's worth of sitting down for two hours learning what sharps and flats were and learning the Bass and Treble cleft instead of being outside like a normal five year old should be...I gave up. The only good thing that came out of that was that my sister gave up the day before. We decided that we wouldn't become world renowned pianists.

"This is…D...natural..." I muttered; and pressed a white key nestled between two black keys lightly. A light sound came. I paused, wondering if Rufus heard me. Nothing. I ran my hands across the entire keyboard resulting in a long tinkle that became a deep resounding noise as I got to the end. "Heh…" I wonder how often he plays.

I closed the case. I shouldn't be messing with his stuff...I should be sitting down patiently and waiting on him. Right? Right.

I sat stiffly on the first piece of furniture I reached and stared at the glass table. My eyes scanned the room again, noting every little piece of décor that fit perfectly in his contemporary yet elegant living room. A few minutes ticked by. I fidgeted.

"Gah…." I stood and straightened my suit before clacking my way across his hard wood floors and to the window that extended from floor to ceiling.

With a view that almost rivals that of his office back at the HQ; from here I could see the city's buildings straining for the overcast gray sky. This makes me wonder when would be the next time I would actually be outside of the City's walls. I can remember the last time I felt quite claustrophobic in the city, I was actually beneath the plate and I was ready to leave the slums and return to my life above. Or what was left of it.

My breath fogged up the window. "On the bright side though! I'm actually out of that office...I was this close to using myself as one of Sara's experiments and pitching myself off the side of the building for excitement...."

"Now...we wouldn't want you to do that."

I whipped around. Rufus was standing behind me, barely a few inches away. _How does he always sneak up like that?!_

"Of...of course not sir. Hah." I ran a hand through my hair; my gaze left his for his hands instead. Empty. "Did you find it?"

"Find...what?"the slightest hint of an impish smirk played on his lips and in his eyes.

Is he joking? I can never tell with him. "Your...well you didn't say actually. You said you left something behind, sir."

"Ahh yes...that." he approached the window too and looked out of it with little interest.

I stood beside him. "So...where is it?" I glanced over my shoulder around the spacious living room. Nothing new and business-like was there. "Or...was it small? I assumed it was a file or something..."

"Did you?" he asked airily.

"Yes, sir. I assumed it had something to do with Rocket Town..." I said. "I overheard Scarlet and Heidegger talking about it on the elevator..." I added when he arched an eyebrow curiously.

He scoffed in a slightly apathetic way. "Those two. Such..." he shook his head and brushed his hair from his face. "Don't mention them again unless it's entirely necessary..."

"Oh..." heh. "Okay...why?"

"They sicken me." he answered in an undertone. "But..." his tone lightened. "Enough of that. You're right; I'm going to Rocket Town today."

"Oh! Then we should get back sir--"

"It's scheduled two hours from now." he regarded me with a calm gaze.

"...But....we should still get back, I mean...my lunch break is only an hour and they'll be--"

He shook his head pointedly. I faltered.

Rufus shrugged lightly."You are on an assignment are you not?"

"Well yeah...and they said they wouldn't miss me. I guess...but..." I trailed off.

Rufus said nothing; he merely looked away towards Midgar. A helicopter was landing somewhere near ShinRa headquarters.

Then it dawned on me and heat crept up beneath my skin.

"...you didn't leave anything behind did you...?"

He watched me from this corner of his eye. "Of course not. But, you must admit...it _was_ believable."

"Heh! Yeah...so...um...we're not returning yet...sir?" the ability to speak in normal sentences slowly faded. He brought me here under false pretenses...and I think I like it!

"Not unless...you want to." a smirk played on his lips.

"No...we...it's just a few hours. Now you can take me on a tour of your really...great place."

He laughed softly. "There is nothing really to see...just the usual...such as a dining room, bedrooms, a study, bathrooms, a balcony...etcetera.." he waved it away as if it were unimportant.

"Hah! That's _all_? The most I have in my apartment is a the usual and a busted up tiny rail balcony where the guy that lived there before was tossed off by his angry girlfriend!"

_Too...much information?!_

"Ah...that reminds me." he suddenly snapped his fingers. "You are going to move."

"In with you?!"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "Don't be silly, of course not." he glanced outward. "You have to move to a nearer sector. That's simply too far away and..."

_Waiiiit! Moving?! I've only been in there for like...a few months!!_

"But...I can't afford a new apartment."

"You work for ShinRa, as a Turk. Surely you knew that the company has perks for your position."

"Yeah I knew that but..." I bit my lip and fell into thought. "...does that include _you _as a perk?"

_Wait! Did I say that out loud?!_

"Not usually." he reached out; his fingers gently held my jaw.

"Tehehe...right. So...can I explore your place? You said we had two hours to waste...sooo...can I get a tour of it anyway?"

"You're very persistent." he said, but started the way across his living room and down the arch that led into the hallway.

"Thank you sir."

**---**

I settled down on the couch again; my knees were together, my hands firmly in my lap and my teeth firmly sinking into my bottom lip. We'd explored the majority of his house—the most interesting being the bedroom and no…I'm not being lewd!—and now I couldn't think of anything else to make it last longer. Rufus left me, returning down the hall for unexplained reasons. When he reappeared he placed a champagne flute in my hand, full of semi-clear bubbling liquid. He sat down beside me.

"…alcohol in the day time?"

"Daylight is a matter of perspective...wouldn't you say?" he cast a pointed gaze outside of the window.

And I got it instantly. Outside, the sky was overcast with gray, barely letting in any sunlight that would be fierce anywhere else. Thick clouds moved lethargically across the atmosphere and it would look like that all day. It really was hard to tell the difference between night and day so why bother sometimes? It was as easy as ignoring every clock that you might come in contact with."I get it. Hah..." I wrapped the stem around my fingers and lifted the glass, putting it to my lips and letting it tickle my nose. "I'd never seen it that way..."

The clearish liquid bubbled as I stared into it. The silence around us was thin, just begging for me to break it. I shifted carefully against the leather and angled myself toward him, tucking one leg under me slightly.

"You are a very mysterious man...sir…"

He put down his glass, turning towards me. "Explain."

I shrugged, reaching for my glass again so I could have something to do with my hands. "I dunno." I took a slow sip.

"I think you do."

"Well..." I put the glass down and stared at my lap. "Yeah…you're just so complicated."

Warmth tilted my chin up and I met his sharp blue gaze. A smirk played on his lips. "Aren't we all?"

"Well..." the ability to speak in normal sentences felt like it was slipping. "yeah. I just wish...I could know you better...I mean...what's your motivation?"

I'd spent hours of nonsleep trying to figure that out. If he'd tell me what it was right now, that'd save me some sleep time.

He released me. "My motivation? Well Elena, it depends on what I'm after."

I nodded, biting my lip. On what he's after? "Oh…I don't mean like...work...and power in your position." How can I get my point across without being so unsure of how to? "But like...more personal stuff."

His hair fell gently into his face; he didn't bother pushing it away. "Personal, Elena?"

"Well not like…read-your-diary-personal—"

"I don't have a _diary." _

"Journal…"

"…."

"Yeah..." I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. I felt a bit...exposed. "I dunno. So…um...what do you want to do now?"

"I have a few ideas."

"Really? Like chess?" I turned almost completely to him. "I have to warn you...I'm not very good sir. I've only started playing against Reno and Rude and so..." I shrugged.

He chuckled softly. "That's not what I had in mind."

"Oh…" I wracked my brain, trying to figure out what he could be suggesting. Board games? I doubt he plays those! Maybe he wants to do a duet on his piano? Hah! I hope not.

"I'm…a little confused..." I poked my fingers together. "I only had some grapes and well...alcohol all day...so I'm a bit slow right now." A sheepish grin tugged at my lips. "Oh...or is that what you had in mind? Some late lunch?"

"Wow." He looked up at the ceiling briefly.

"Wow?" am I missing something?

"I meant something…" he trailed off purposefully. "A little more...personal..."

"Personal?"

Hmm...does this mean he's going to pour his deepest darkest secrets out for me to cuddle with at night?

"Personal." He kept my gaze.

Then it clicked. Heat rushed to my face. How...so….terribly clueless I am!

"Oh!! _Personal."_ I drew the word out and my eyebrows wiggled without my control.

"Well not _that_ personal." He answered flatly.

Wait...what? "How personal are we talking, sir? I mean...I thought we were talking about the same thing. See that's why I think that the ability to read minds would sometimes be for the good of human evolution—"

"Shh, Elena."

"Oh…"

Then our lips were barely an inch apart.

"Oh...okay...this kind of personal…"

Without answering he brushes my hair back gently; my heart instantly struggles beneath my ribs and then our lips meet a taste of champagne lingering. His hair is soft between my fingers. The light scent of his cologne fills my senses. The world is just him and me...and his hands are in my hair and on my knee…burning through my clothes to my skin. Vaguely my thoughts scatter around….

.............What if someone bursts in?

_.........That's not possible...._

............What would Reno, Rude, and...Tseng say if they saw us...being totally and completely un-business- like?

_Does it really matter?_

Kinda....

_Kinda isn't good enough. Stop worrying...._

..............I can't. It's in my nature!

_Well...stop! Rufus Shinra is kissing you. That's priority! Kiss him harder or he'll think you're a crap kisser!_

......Oh no! What if he does!?

_Sheesh!_

I have to ask him something!

_No! Don't—_

"Rufus…" I pulled away slightly tingling. "Can I ask you something?"

He smoothed his hair down and sighed. "If you must..."

"I was wondering…about …well...why can't we tell anyone? About…this?" I gestured.

_You're ruining the mood woman!_

He was silent, his eyes moved over my face as if he were reading me. "What would be the point?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "I.." suddenly I agreed with myself..my..logical self. What I wanted to say could wait. "You know..I don't really know. Can we act like I didn't interrupt us?"

He brushed his hair from his face. "Gladly."

* * *

If I hadn't actually been there to witness it I wouldn't be so sure that I spent work hours making nice with my boss.

We reentered the ShinRa headquarters from the main entrance in the lobby. He got 'hello sirs' and I got ignored again. We stepped into an elevator; his cell phone rang and he spent the short ride up telling someone off. When we got off he walked briskly towards his office—with me following, unsure of what to do now—where he was stopped by Chaminade.

"Sir! Sir!" she flailed a sheet of paper from her increasingly messy desk. A carton of Wutai take out collapsed on a junk pile on her desk and energy bar wrappers lay strewn about. She had a phone on the other hand. "I have a message for—what is she doing with you sir." her eyes zoned in on me.

"Chaminade."

By her real name?!

"Sir..?"

"You are an assistant right?"

"Yes..." she looked from me to him.

"You're not an executive, or even a Turk or a SOLDIER right?"

"...yes...no...I'm..."

"You're a _secretary_."

She nodded, her face getting red. "Yes, sir..."

"Then stop asking _me_ questions. Know your place."

"Sir."

I crossed my arms and stared hard at the floor. She _is_ pretty nosy. _Know your place._

"Now then." he spoke in that deadly calm, extremely alluring, yet completely authoritative tone...with a hint of arrogance. "What do you want? And if you're asking for a raise again, the answer is no."

"I...but I work so hard! Over my hours!"

"I could fire you."

"No...no don't. I really _have_ _to keep this job_ at _Shinra._ It's my ..._job_...sir." she ran a hand through her hair. "Um..." she read the paper. "The helicopter to take you to Rocket Town is waiting, as are the soldiers accompanying you. They called up for you...they said they were expecting you in about five minutes...um...as scheduled. They wanted to make sure you didn't forget."

"_I_ don't forget."

She nodded so hard I thought her head would fall off."Of course sir...should I tell them you're coming?"

"Fine." he answered shortly.

She went back to work, trying to arrange her desk.

"Come."

I jumped, not realizing he was talking to me. A small smirk played on his lips as he subtly glanced in my direction. He turned on his heel and led the way to his office. As we passed, I offered Chaminade a sympathetic smile, she frowned in reply.

Grr...

Rufus moved about his office and around to his desk with a purpose. I stood near the door with my hands clasped behind my back trying to play the part of the quiet Turk that doesn't put her foot in her mouth.

"Rufus--

His cell phone rang as he flipped through something on his desk. Wordlessly, he threw it to me, I fumbled but caught it.

"You...want me to answer your...phone?"

"Yes." he didn't bother to look up from what he was looking down at, he flipped through something.

I put the phone to my ear. "..Hello...?"

"Elena?" it was Tseng. "Why...are you answering Rufus's line?"

"He um...told me to, sir. He's busy...about to go to Rocket Town, as I'm sure you know sir. Are any Turks going on that particular assignment sir? I heard Rude talking about it yesterday sir, and --"

"Elena." he sighed, exasperated.

I winced. "Sorry..."

"Well, tell Rufus that we've gotten word that Cloud's group is approaching Rocket Town. Therefore, there may be a problem and extra force may be needed."

"....oh...okay. I will, sir."

"...."

"Sir."

"......"

"...Sir?"

A long sigh. "Elena, I will be expecting you back in ten minutes."

"Um...okay...sir. Yes sir."

"......"

"Sir?"

"That'll be all."

He hung up. I took the phone from my ear while quietly wondering what that was about.

"Rufus, sir?"

He was no longer reading, but now leading against his desk, watching me impassively.

"What did Tseng want?"

"How did you--"

"It usually is. What did he want?"

"Oh..." I stroked the slick covering of his phone. "He warned that Cloud and his group is steadily approaching Rocket Town so...there might have to be more soldiers than you were going to take. And maybe even a Turk."

Like _me._

----

"Is she coming?" Palmer's receding hair flapped around with his mustard colored suit. He pointed a stubbly finger in my direction. Behind him in the distance was about three helicopters and soldiers milling about.

Rufus regarded me with very little interest and scoffed. I bit my lip and tried not to seem a little affected by that.

"This one? Of course not. Now get out of my way." he pressed past Palmer, not looking to see if he was following.

_This one?_ What does _that _suppose to mean?

I watched him stop to have a word with Palmer--("Stop following so closely to me..."). His hair blew gently in the wind, and long white coat flew around him, giving him an image of untouchable importance. I wish I could retort and tell everyone what's been going on. A little twinge in my stomach is of a lingering put-outedness as they all disappear into helicopters and the propellers come on, sweeping air across the platform. The windows are tinted black so I can't see him; I wonder if he's looking down at me. A lingering voice in my head tells me that he probably isn't.

Then I'm alone, there was complete silence other than a few employees talking. I turned away and reentered the building, heading briskly to where I was supposed to be two minutes ago...

–

Roslyn was pulling her curly reddish orange hair into a ponytail. Her dark green eyes narrowed and focused on me. I placed on a fake smile and attempted to walk past--

"You. Wait. I ...have a message." Roslyn flipped through something on her desk and then extended a pale freckly arm to me, holding a sticky note.

The Answer is No.

I blinked. "What?"

"Give that to Reno for me, please?" she finished her hair and began to thumb through a planner.

"....do it yourself."

She laughed dryly. "So he can get the satisfaction?" she snorted. "Reno is a piece of work. Are you dating him? He never lets a pretty woman around here work in peace until he gets a..._piece_ of her."

"Are you gossiping about me Roslyn?" a male's voice drenched in suggestive undertones arm draped over my shoulder, its read haired owner grinned down at me, his blue eyes narrowed. "We've been waiting for you. You're lucky Tseng's in a good mood."

"Oh!" I slapped myself on the forehead. "I was...busy...on an assignment...with Rufus. The President. Mr. Rufus--"

Reno cocked a brow.

"Um...President Rufus. You remember you suggested that we talk? Well he took me on assignment. It was just to his home. He left something behind."

He squeezed me to his side gently, laughing. "Advice? Don't provide details unless asked. I couldn't care less." He steered me away, pausing to call over his shoulder. "By the way, Roslyn, it was just a joke. Can't we be friends?"

"Hah! Burn in hell!" she shouted from behind.

"Probably will!"

---

Rude looked around when we entered Tseng's office—which was sans Tseng—and adjusted his glasses. Reno pushed me over the threshold with a sharp nudge and then disappeared down the hall without any explanation. I slid into the chair next to Rude.

"Hey."

He looked over at me. "Hi."

"I see you got that tape off your door. Hah."

"Yeah..." he laughed softly and straightened his tie. "You were gone for a while."

"...I...I know. I was on a small assignment with President Rufus. He um..." I fidgeted with my fingers. Now I'm lying to Rude too! "...he wanted to escort me...I mean he wanted met to escort him and then we came back. That's all. There wasn't anything else going on. Not that there would be or anything."

Rude was silent for a moment. "I was just...asking..."

"Yeah...I know..."

He smiled slightly, patting my shoulder lightly. "I understand."

He does?! Am I that transparent?! He knows?! He understands?! I knew there was something going on behind those dark glasses!

"Rude!" I wrapped my hands around his wrist. "You can't tell anyone. He--"

"Elena..." he raised an uncertain eyebrow. "I meant that I understood how...being on an assignment with him can make a person a little..." he trailed off, grasping for a good word. "..batshit."

I released him, my face burned. "Oh...right...yeah. Of course I knew that." I stared at my lap and fidgeted. "At least..." suddenly I brightened. "I made you say more than one sentence!"

He cleared his throat. "Maybe."

We sat in peaceful silence and waited.

"Ahh, there she is. Now where is Reno?"

Tseng strolled into his office with his files in hand, his hair billowed behind him. He sat down; I said a quiet hello, unsure of if he heard me or not. He caught my eye briefly, acknowledging me with a nod. I looked down at my lap.

_I wanna blurt it out so bad!_

Reno strolled in, seconds later, shutting the door. He pulled up another chair, spun it backwards, and then straddled it.

"Alright boss. What's up?"

Tseng gave Reno a look before continuing. "You're going to pay another visit to Don Corneo." he slid envelopes to me and Rude.

I flipped it open; the usual photograph of Don's beady self was lipped to the side. I began to thumb through the few sheets of information when Reno snatched it away.

"Hey!"

"So what are we going to see this fat ass for?" Reno closed the file and placed it on Tseng's desk.

Tseng gave him another...look...but didn't comment on it. "Don has been withholding information about what he knows--"

"Oh...I know what that means." Reno commented under his breath.

Tseng nodded. "Yes. He's probably been leading us on while he tries to find it himself. He's useless to us now."

"Finally!" Reno punched his hand into his fist. "I've been sayin it forever. That it sucks that we've been getting nowhere with trying to find Sephiroth..."

"Um...?" I wanted to ask but kept quiet.

"By the way, Reno. You're not accompanying them."

Hah!

"How come?" he didn't seem too bothered with that fact._ I _would have freaked out.

Tseng handed Reno a different file. "You're coming with me."

"Shit!"

_Lucky dog!!_

* * *

"Rude? Was I a little too overly dramatic? Was that reckless? I feel kinda bad for the guy's tooth."

The mission had been short, but quite exhilarating...

_Everything was going on shadily as usual in wall Market when we entered Sector 6 slums. People ducked into and out of shadows, watching and avoiding us. Others watched under heavily lidded eyes covered in a smoky haze. I have no fond memories of this place. I walked a few paces behind Rude, resting my hand on my gun. My nerves jumped with excitement, not for any particular reason other than the fact that I was actually out doing something. This made the second time today in less than three hours apart that I'm actually outside of ShinRa headquarters. Maybe, I thought, my solid two week stint behind the desk is truly over!_

"_Hey, Rude? Can I wear a pair of your sunglasses?"_

_Rude cleared his throat. "Uh...why?"_

"_Because I want to look dangerous, Rude." I prodded his arm lightly, trying to get a rise out of him._

_His stony-faced facade broke into a small smile. "You already are."_

_A grin tugged at my lips. "I'm not fishing for compliments but thanks! I would hug you but that would ruin our image of badassedness."_

_He chortled. "If you really want to get some credibility you can take out our target." he suggested with a quiet shrug._

"_Oh..." I paused momentarily. "Take out? I thought we were just going to rough him up."_

"_That's funny." Rude didn't laugh; he simply adjusted his sunglasses and stroked his goatee._

_I didn't ask him what was funny; I stayed quiet as we reached his headquarters only to be stopped by two uniformed men barring the door._

"_We've come to take out Don Corneo! Move!" I demanded, thinking that I was saving Rude from an uncomfortable speech, like in the Mythril Mines. Lots of unused energy rushed through me, demanding to be released. I felt my fingers curl and uncurl in my pockets. Punching one of the guys seemed like a pleasant idea._

"_Elena that's not their business." Rude muttered from the corner of his mouth. My face burned at the realization that I'd done it again. On the good side, at least Tseng and our enemies weren't there to witness it._

_One of the guys, the thicker, more muscular one grinned like a nasty leering predator. His lips pulled back to reveal sharp discolored teeth. "He ain't here. The Don's on vacation. You ShinRa can't touch em where he at..."_

_Rude crossed his arms._

"_Like hell! We're Turks! ShinRa's hand can reach to the edges of Gaia!" _

_There was a lingering silence, my voice echoed and faded. Is it just me or did I just sound like an overly excited wet-behind-the-ears idiot? Rude didn't do a rousing speech so I shouldn't have! Calm silence is the key here. Yes. Intimidation!_

"_Where did he go?" Rude asked seriously._

"_Tell us right now or else!!"_

_The other pale, sweaty one spoke up. "Ask nicely."_

"_You are really getting besides yourself!!" I growled; my thoughts went back to earlier and how Rufus pretty much disregarded me in front of Palmer. My fist balled up. Displaced aggression?_

_Meaty and Sweaty looked at each other and laughed. Meaty took a step forward. "We can't take a cute little lady like you seriously. How bout you..." his eyes trailed over me slowly. He leaned in and sniffed the air. "Join the Don. He'd like you."_

_Gah!_

"_You know what?" anger simmered. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say—THAT!" and boiled over into my fist which connected with his face sharply._

_He fell back and stumbled. A scuffle broke out beside me; I glanced over to see Rude twist the other man's body in a way that bodies aren't supposed to be twisted. There was a groan of pain and the man crumpled to the ground, twitching. Wind rushed past me, I moved to the left and meaty fell on his face. He scrambled up. A swift kick in the ribs left him in a groaning heap. For a second I felt powerful._

"_Hah!!"_

"_........" Rude stepped over the man and pushed the doors open, revealing the inside of Don's building._

_Everything looked the same, but something was off. The lobby was completely empty. The usual man at the desk was gone too._

"_Maybe they all left?" I looked to Rude for answers. To come back empty handed after finally getting an assignment wasn't an option, but it was starting to look exactly like that._

"_I'll go see what's upstairs..." Rude said._

"_Oh...no..."_

_We whipped around, that man; from the desk from last time was standing in the middle of the floor, a sandwich hanging from his mouth. Before I realized what I was doing, there was a burst of energy and speed and my knee was firmly in his chest, a hand around his neck, and my other hand holding a my gun firmly against his head. _

_They would hear about this, I thought, and I'd get some recognition for actually doing something right. He sputtered out bread crumbs. Sweat formed and rolled down his face. It was funny how last time we met, he was so very....smug._

"_Tell us where he is." I glared at him. I thought they'd be so impressed they'll never put me on desk duty again._

"_I..." the man hesitated._

"_Now!" my stomach...growled. "I'm hungry and irritable! Do you know how long I've been on desk duty with the only good thing in my days being ...a really complicated person?! Just answer the question or I'll beat it out of you!"_

_I wondered if Rude was watching, and admiring how amazing I was._

_The wide eyed surprise changed into a sneer. "Yeah right. You look like a previous one, but I know you can't do it. Just leave. Nobody's ratting out The Don."_

_What does he mean 'looks just like?' I wondered. Then it clicked. I knew exactly who he was talking about..._

"_She hates being compared..." Rude warning was the last thing I heard._

_Seconds later, blood gurgled in the heap's mouth that lay curled on the floor. It pooled out as he coughed up indignation and an ass kicking. He rolled on his back and coughed up something white and small. A tooth._

Side by side we reentered the ShinRa building and stepped onto an elevator. Rude had been in a thoughtful silence the entire fight, merely concentrating on flying. After he only gave me an "hmmm" and ".....". I fell silent too and thought about anything but Rufus and if he was thinking about me. I wanted to blurt out what would most definitely be the biggest conversation starter: That I was actually seeing our boss's boss. I want to know how he'll react and if he'll even really care about such pointless (totally pointful!) news like that. But I tried to stay quiet. I can't just go around blabbing to him about what's been going on in my life other than paper work. I have to ask Rufus why we can't tell anyone before I just start blabbing. I still don't even know what to call it. I mean do I just say "Hey Rude! I'm in a whatchamacallit with Rufus Shinra!!!"?

"A little...you were a little overly dramatic. You...you just can't do that. But you'll learn."

I suddenly felt a little silly. "So...I can't...beat up people for answers, even if they're being completely rude? Rude?"

Rude laughed softly; he removed his sunglasses, revealing those nice brown eyes that completed his face. He cleaned them off with his clothes. "It's not that, you can't just...forget yourself. You're trying too hard to make an impression."

I fell silent and let it sink in. "Don't' tell Tseng?"I managed a smile.

He looked over at me, his eyes crinkling with a friendly, yet reserved smile. "I won't."

My spirits lifted. "You should take off your glasses more often. You're pretty."

He cleared his throat and put them back on. "......."

"Oh come on!! Why do you wear them anyway?!"

"The fluorescent lighting hurts my eyes."

Really? Wait...

"That's lie! C'mon, tell me!"

"Let's get something to eat. I'm hungry."

"Subject changer! You're lucky that I'm hungry too." I gave up.

The elevator stopped a few floors above our destination.. A woman stepped on; she looked haggard and was attempting to straighten the stuff in her hand while blinking furiously.

"He's fucking mean! Taking his anger...his anger out on innocent people!!" globs of angry and humiliated tears spilled down her cheeks.

Who?!

Rude stepped off without a second glance. I offered a quick sympathy smile and followed. A man was on the ground trying to salvage documents from being trampled by a group of Shinra soldiers all swearing about 'rampage' and 'effin jerk got me punched by Heidegger!'

Rude and I exchanged a glance, clearly thinking the same thing: What did Reno do now?

"What did Reno do this time?" I looked to Rude for answers as we turned a corner, more curious to see what was going on than we were to get any late lunch now.

"What the fuck? I didn't do a damn thing. I'm offended." Reno sprang up from practically nowhere (the stairwell) with a fiery glint in his eyes. He wedged between Rude and I. "I wish I was the one that has everyone either sobbing or contemplating assassination or quitting! Hahaha..."

"Should we go straighten out the situation?"

"Are you kidding?" Reno snorted.

Curiosity overtook me. "Tell us, Reno!"

"......"

Reno sighed dramatically as if it were a big pain for him to release some information. "You gotta do me a favor if I tell ya."

Grr!

"Reno!"

"...."

I gave in, fighting Reno is futile. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Well, I want you to...hmm...I want you to stop attackin' my cigs."

"Done."

"And...hmm...I want you to do something else but I haven't figured out just what that is yet. But when I figure it out, you have to do it."

"What kind of deal is that?!"

"...."

"Do you wanna know or not?"

I bit my lip. "Fine."

Reno shrugged. "Well...anyway. A few minutes before you guys arrived and a few minutes after me, Rufus came back. Maaan was he pissed. Seeing his hand print on Heidegger's face was epic! The man looked ready to kill the Prez. Anyway so...this is how it started..."

_When Rufus stepped down from the helicopter, his blue eyes were dark with annoyance. A frown was etched across his brow with no hope of being lifted. It was clear, to Reno who was loafing on the helicopter pad 'getting a smoke' after his short mission, that Rufus was not in a very good mood. He's not used to not getting what he wants so it can put him in a horrible disposition. He ran forward head first at Palmer and head butted him off the building--_

"Reno! Stop making up stuff!" I interrupted with a glare. Rufus pitching Palmer off the building seemed highly unlikely.

"Okay okay..." we were heading down the stairs now. "I'll stop. Anyway so Palmer was helped onto a stretcher cuz his fat ass got hit by a truck during the scuffle--"

"What?! Scuffle? How do you know all this?"

Reno whipped out a piece of gum and popped it in his mouth; he handed Rude another, then me after he dangled it over my head. "I inferred all this. Those fools showed up too—y'know. Cloud and them. That's why the boss was so angry. They ruined everything haha..."

Angry. I've never seen him loose his tempter before. He always seems so cool and calculating. A bit harsh sometimes...but...

"...it's so cool when he gets mad. I love it."Reno laughed. " It was like total chaos in less than two minutes. You two missed it by a mere ten minutes. Epic shit. He's always entertaining eh, Rude? He's something else. Anybody that can make Heidegger red like a tomato is good in my book."

"You're warped..." I shoved gum into my mouth. It was arm on my tongue. "What's with you and this hot gum?"

"It makes me feel sexy."

"...."

"Gah! Just continue please."

"Right." he rolled his eyes. "So anyway, after Palmer got rolled away...yeah...Heidegger emerged from outta nowhere..."

_When the group of soldiers that accompanied Rufus suddenly stood stiffly at attention it was clear their boss--_

"Rufus is their boss too..."

"Do ya wanna hear it or not?!"

"....."

_--had joined the scene. He stood quietly behind Rufus until the President was done chewing out the helicopter pilot in that 'calm' manner of his._

"_What do you want?" Rufus turned around._

_Reno stomped out his cigarette and tried to seem casual, as if he wasn't watching the scene unfold._

_Heidegger visibly winced at the way he was being spoken to. What's worse, he knows he can't do anything about it. His soldiers would all witness his dignity get stomped all on by someone several years his junior and half his body mass. The arrogance of the young President was almost enough to make him quit or snap Rufus's neck with his beefy hands. But of course he wouldn't do that. Then he'd probably end up living in the slums and sucking Don's--_

"Reno, when you tell a story, it's vulgar!" I pressed my hands over his mouth.

"Lemme talk--" he snatched my hand away. "woman!"

_Rufus was looking particularly murderous---his eyes said it all. Something had clearly pissed him off. The bad thing about Rufus though is that his anger is short-lived. When it comes, it's explosive...but it simmers down too fast._

"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" I interrupted. All this stuff...

"You shuttin up would be."

"_Rufus--"_

"_Shut up, Heidegger, I don't want to speak with you." Rufus snapped, and began to walk away._

_Until Heidegger tapped his shoulder--_

"It was the slap heard around the world. Wapaw!!" he slammed his hands together for affect, the sound echoed down the stairwell.

_Anger flashed across Heidegger's black eyes, his meaty fist shook. Rufus swore softly and shook out his hand. He then turned away, his frown growing into a smug disdain, and he sauntered away. Heidegger released a flurry of punches on his soldiers nearby._

_Reno followed Rufus at a distance to see what would happen next._

"It was like a war path. He smacked people's things out of their hands, bruised egos, and even shoved someone into a wall that had shuffled into his path. He got on an elevator and blah blah blah...I saw you two."

"...."

"Whoa..."

"So anyway." Reno shrugged. Clearly not caring about the impact of his words. "How was the mission?"

I shrugged, lost in my own world. Somewhere, Rude answered.

And then our phones rang simultaneously.

**---**

Rufus stood with his back turned, facing the window, his hands, covered in black fingerless gloves, coming together behind his back against his white suit. At his desk, on the other side, was Tseng, who looked up at our presence. Reno approached first, following closely by Rude, I shut the door. Tseng stood and looked at us. When his eyes met mine, I adverted them to the ground and stared at my boots.

"They're here, Rufus." Tseng said.

I looked up to see Rufus turn around; the dim lighting in the sky cast a generous glow on him. Heat rushed to my face; I looked away, my gaze falling on Reno and Rude instead. Rude stood straight and waited for Rufus to say something. Reno chewed a new stick of gum and still pulled off looking professional...in his...own way. Mentally I made myself straighten up and look at my superiors.

"What did you find out about Corneo?" Rufus didn't specify who he was addressing.

I hesitated, biting my lip. Was Rude going to talk for us?

No.

"Um..."

His blue eyes met mine, almost impassively; the slightest hint of a smirk curved his lips. Hard to believe that –according to Reno—about twenty minutes ago he was on a rampage. Even more hard to believe...that I was in his arms about four hours ago...kissing him. Hehe...hahahhehe...

I touched my forehead cautiously, making sure there wasn't a red hot sign baring the words: Rufus's Whatchamacallit.

"We...um..." I ran a hand through my hair; from the corner of my eye I saw Tseng watching me as well, expecting me to actually deliver actual...words I'm sure. "We...Rude and I...went to ...Wall Market...we found out that...um..."

"Don has gone to Wutai."

I faltered, looking over at Rude. He looked over at me and shrugged. Thank you Rude. Thank you!

"Wutai....not surprising." Tseng muttered to himself.

"Prepare to report to Wutai then." Rufus said to all of us in general. "Find him and get rid of him."

"Yes." Reno commented under his breath.

Wutai!

"...."

"Also." Rufus continued. "If you see Cloud and his party there, and I'm sure you will..." he added the last part tightly. "Deal with them." he brushed his hair from his face. "Those are your orders. You're dismissed."

"Can't wait..." Reno turned and headed for the door. Reno followed.

Tseng walked past, not paying me much attention. The door closed behind him.

"Bye, sir." I turned halfway.

"Elena."

I stopped and turned back around. "Try not to miss me too much in Wutai, hmm?" the hint of the smirk that I saw earlier was now very prevalent. His tone was no longer business-like as cold.

Heat rushed to my face. "Right...I'll try..." I bit my lip. "Can I ask...you something?"

"Make it fast, they're waiting on you." he crossed his arms.

"Did you really …..slap Heidegger?"

"Of course not. Who said that? Reno?" he raised an eyebrow and frowned slightly.

That little liar! "..yeah...pretty much."

"I punched him actually."

"Ohh..."

Rufus chuckled. "Why did you ask?"

"No reason..." I shrugged. "Have a good evening sir."

"Hmm..." He sat down at his desk.

I turned away and headed for the door, opening it. Reno, Rude and Tseng looked up; they were all talking and waiting near the door. A different type of blush reached my cheeks. I suddenly felt very paranoid.

"...so you said I can treat it like a vacation huh?" Reno disregarded me and looked to Tseng.

They started walking; I caught up, walking beside Rude.

".....those were not my words." Tseng replied.

"You said 'other than your orders....it's almost like a vacation' did you not?"

"....." Tseng said nothing.

We walked towards an elevator in silence. A thought popped in my head. _Tseng's from Wutai._

"Sir...you are coming with us aren't you?"

"...no."

We stepped onto the elevator, Rude pushed our floor. I ended up standing beside Tseng, Reno engaged Rude in a conversation.

"...why not? Sir, aren't you from Wutai? Wouldn't you want to go there?"

He was silent for so long that I feared I'd said something wrong. When we reached our floor and the doors opened, he finally answered.

"It's not necessary for all four of us to go."

I fell silent. Something told me that wasn't entirely the real answer but it's not my place to pry. He disappeared into his office, closing the door.

---

The ocean rushed by, its blue waves crashing against each other beneath us. I strained my eyes out of the window until I couldn't see our the land mass that held our city anymore.

* * *

_**---**_

* * *

_**Gw08: Wutai?! Since Wutai is a side quest and can be accessed at any point in the story, I decided that it would be best to put it at this point; after Cloud and co snag the Tiny Bronco because it just didn't seem to fit anywhere else. Their laid back attitudes during the side quest just didn't seem right for any point after the Temple of Ancients, which is coming up pretty soon too. I got Rufus's rampage bit from something an NPC said in the game after the Rocket Town incident. They pretty much said that he went wild on people and was hitting them and all of that. I hope you guys liked this chapter! **_

_**The tape thing came from a prank that a girl on my hall in the dorms keeps doing to other people. Very funny.**_

_**Special thanks go to Lin Hikaru-7 for helping me out with Rufus's place. Here's a Vincent plushie from me to you. And some Thin Mint GS cookies.**_

_**Also, tell me if you guys had a problem understanding where flashbacks ended and began, I was torn between setting them off with some type of page break and...well leaving them how I did. So please, tell me yes? I promise this isn't just a ploy to make you guys review. Okay it kinda is...but I would like to hear from the masses of others that have subscribed but never reviewed. In fact you know what? I demand that you all give me feedback. Yep. Demand. Sure do...**_

* * *


	22. A White Rose Blooms in Wutai

**Chapter 22**

A White Rose Blooms in Wutai

* * *

The sea sparkles like little crystals, the sky is getting steadily lighter the further we get away from Midgar. Puffy white clouds are around and above us, nameless continents pass below dotted with greens and browns, sometimes with identifying structures rising out of them, trying to get a hold of the sky. I adjust my position for the fifth time since we took off, resting my elbow on the door and my chin on my fist. In front of me is Rude and piloting is Reno who's familiar drawl fills up the cockpit as he and Rude talk. They're talking pretty low, having an easy conversation about who knows what. I haven't been invited into it yet and while I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I suddenly barged into it but...yeah. I stayed silent and shut my eyes instead, listening for the propellers and letting my thoughts drift. How long until we get there and what's going to happen? How long will this assignment take? Honestly, I'm in no hurry to get back to Midgar because I know it'll be there whenever we get back. Heh, I wonder what Rufus is doing right now. At that thought, a stupid grin tugged at my lips; I opened my eyes—Reno and Rude are still talking, a large continent seems to be appearing on the horizon-- and turned my face toward the window again, hoping that they didn't notice. Being Rufus's (for lack of a better word) whatchamacallit is beginning to grow on me but still though, what did he mean by it depends on what he wants? What could he possibly want from _me_? A little bit of fresh air might just help me figure that out. I want to doubt highly that he wants what some people may say he wants..that thing that my mother always said that men always think about. If that is what he's playing at, I fear I might have to kill The President. But..that's probably the furthest thing from his mind. Though, how would I know? It's not like he offers up anything about himself. I should ask him next time I see him. Yes, that's what I shall do. Satisfied with my conclusion, I looked up again. Reno is scratching his hair and steering with one hand; Rude is looking out of the window. The continent I'd seen before is almost upon us; I can make out shapes of what seems to be jagged mountains against a light blue sky. A sigh of relief escaped me as I adjusted my position and leaned forward on their seats to get a better view. Reno looked at me from the corner of his eye and raised a red eyebrow.

"We thought you'd died back there." he grinned and looked ahead again, putting both hands back on the controls.

I shook my head and shrugged. "Unfortunately for you, no I haven't."

He snorts softly. "Unfortunately."

Our position changed, we were headed downward towards the continent, which I hadn't realized we were directly over now. Jagged cliffs practically grew out of the ground, dust swirled around as we landed (Reno didn't blow us up?!). I undid my seatbelt and stepped out, following them. Dust formed on my black boots where my shadow stood and extended before me. The sky was clearer than I'd seen it in years with puffy white clouds against a light blue canvas, painting with oranges, purples, and soft gold of the setting sun behind me. Around us for miles was dusty jagged mountainous terrain, all linked by wooden foot bridges strung high up at their edges. Not too far in the distance was a great mountain that extended upward from a mass of trees. The Da Chao mountain statue. Wutai was just beyond those trees.

I walked between the two, looking around at my surroundings and taking in the shore line. No other continent was visible from here, not even an island. Wutai was truly secluded from the rest of the world, and that's how they liked it, it would seem. Especially since they are the only place on the Planet that is independent by ShinRa.

Water gurgling and running smoothly over rocks was the first thing that caught my attention as we went through the trees and into the village. A large river cut through the entire city, splitting off into different, smaller rivers which were all crossable by foot bridges with red handles. Lilly pads floated lazily on the surface and beneath it where different types of fish were swam gracefully. Red seemed to be the dominate color scheme as every shop and house all were outlined with red and had stone walls. We crossed the first bridge we met, passing by a dark haired woman that had her son sitting on the railing. She looked back at us and looked away just as quickly. The people here seemed to know who we were but didn't bother to say anything for one reason or another. They all dresses similar which consisted on billowy robe-like clothing tied with big sashes. For a moment, I tried to imagine Tseng in one of the outfits and just when I almost could, the sun got directly in my eye and spotted my vision with colors. When we stepped off the bridge Reno led the way towards a group of little one-story buildings all situated together which I learned were hotel rooms, two of which we would be staying in until this job was over. Which—according to Reno—would be sooner than later giving the fact that Corneo doesn't know how to be discrete and he's a flaming pervert .

"It'll be ironic if he does it to himself." I paused at my room, stopping on the bottom step and wrapping my hand around the rail. "Painful but ironic."

"Irony is always painful." Rude commented, adjusting his sunglasses.

"It's always better that way." Reno shrugged, tapping Rude on the shoulder.

They turned around and headed across the grounds towards an identical little room, talking about something. I opened my mouth to call out to them and ask what I should do, but decided not to. Taking a tiny break—to get over that long trip—would be fine, right? With that in mind, I used the key I got from the main office and slid the door open.

"I think this is better than my apartment..hell...almost everything is better than my apartment."

Two beds draped in rich-looking sheets were side by side lying on a deep (and very comfortable!) black carpet. A big window was open and framed a nearby river; heavy red and gold drapes hung on either side of it and was designed with a gold dragon wrapping around it. I crossed the carpet to the bed nearest the window, put my stuff down, and plopped down on it. I leaned on the windowsill not to far from it and stared out at the slowly darkening scenery, blades of grass danced around in the dimming sunlight with a river as it's backdrop....

**----**

_Gah...when did I fall asleep?_

Initially I felt strangely disconnected and disoriented. Where am I and who's house am I in? Then I reminded myself that I was in Wutai and that this was a hotel room, not someone's house.

Moonlight streamed in across the ceiling in an otherwise dark room. My back is flat against the bed. _Should I get up or not? If something important had happened, the guys would have contacted me right? And it's not like I slept too long or anything. But, just in case I should go see what they're doing._

I sit up and run a hand through my hair while releasing a sigh. Honestly, I'd like to go back to sleep, my body is incredibly tired right now. Today has been a very..very long day. But I can't sleep, not yet, I have to go see what the guys are up to. Well I don't have to but I want to. I haven't done anything with them, not really, since we went out and Tseng joined us and I'm beginning to feel a little gap between us. Maybe it's because I've been turning down lunch with them and going up to Rufus's office where I have no business? Not being able to tell them something is a problem for me. I mean, trust is important in our job. I'd like to not get shot because I refuse to tell people what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm doing it with. Well not doing..it. It. Uh..that's...yeah. Anyway, I'm sure they notice. What if they take offense to it? What if they're beginning to think that I'm wishy-washy or standoffish or ..well...hiding something?They never ask me _why _I've started turning down lunch. Maybe they simply don't care? Probably. I'm most likely thinking to deep into this. But what if they don't care because they don't care to hang out with me anymore? What if they think I'm cramping their style?! What if my lack of assignments is ruining the progress I've made with them? I've hardly seen them in like a week because they're always busy and I'm well..I'm not. And when I am not busy I'm sneaking off to Rufus's office to see him. What if that's it? I was finally breaking ground with them—I've gotten Rude out of his sunglasses more than once—I can't lose them. And what about Tseng? Does he notice too? Bah! Of course he notices! And we've been getting along quite well too, he even brought me coffee the other night while I was up working late. He even made it how I actually like it (how he knows this I can't figure out..).

Wait.

"Shut up Elena, you're over thinking little things. Just go over there.." I muttered to reflection while smoothing my hair down. Yes, that's exactly what I'll do. "...and don't be weird.."

Beautiful post lights glowed all around, lighting up the open space between one side of the courtyard to the other. I made my way to their hotel room and knocked softly. Nothing. I knocked again and listened hard. There was a clicking sound from the door.

"It's open. I thought you took the key with you, man."

Reno. What does he mean by that? Does that mean that Rude went off somewhere?

I slid the door open and stepped gingerly inside, hesitating a little. Lamps were on in their room—which was identical to mine—bathing it in a soft gold glow. The bathroom door was open and a strong bream of light was coming from it's door. Silently, I nibbled my bottom lip and wondered what to do. He obviously wasn't expecting me. What's he up to anyway?

"Did you find anything interesting at the shops?"

"Er...it's Elena." I crossed the floor and stood near the bathroom so he could hear me. Water was running.

"Oh, well that explains it. Hey Elena."

Suddenly, Reno appeared as I'd never seen him before. His hair was darkened by water and flat, it lay fell around his face and down on his shoulders in tendrils. Water from these tendrils dripped freely—though there was a thick white towel in his hand—down his ...bare..chest. Each drip took a similar path, down his pectorals...fit stomach..before disappearing somewhere near his loose (but on! Thank goodness!) black pants.

"Hey..."

Another drip took the path.

Reno put his hands on his slender hips, a mischievous grin spread across his lips and his strange blue eyes narrowed. He looked mildly cat-like and devious. I took a step back and tried to keep my eyes on his and not....anywhere else (if it's there I'm gonna look! Sheeesh!).

"You're a pervert." he stated accusingly, finally using the towel on his hair. Water flashed on me. I hardly noticed.

"No I'm not..you're you should put some clothes on before you just let people waltz in!" I grew shrill.

"I was washing my hair." his catty grin grew larger.

I gestured widely. "Still! I shouldn't have to see all of..that." Heat rose into my face. So strange so strange!

"Well I guess now we're even." he tossed the towel on the bathroom sink. "You can continue to stand there if you like."

He carried on as if I wasn't standing there (in a bit of shock really). He turned away from me, back into the bathroom and pulled his hair back into a loose ponytail. Suddenly, I noticed a long not-so-healed scar going from one side of his narrow waist and snaking up his back to finally rest at his left shoulder. It was the only thing that I could see from here that was marring his fair skin. I bit my lip, chewing on whether or not to ask him about it. I don't know much about Reno—I've only just realized—so maybe I could learn something?

"Hey Reno?"

He grabbed a shirt and put it on, which covered his back from me. Reno turned back around, buttoning the shirt up—and missing certain buttons on purpose. "What's up? You sound apprehensive or somethin'."

"I'm not apprehensive.."

"Sure you are, you're biting your lip and looking awkward." he walked past me towards a small door and slid it open, and pulled out a bottle. He uncapped it, lifted it, and then stopped and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, what? You look like a scared puppy. Makes me want to kick you."

Kick me?!

".....I was just wondering about your uh..well it's on your back. That scar..."

I trailed off and we fell into silence. He put the bottle to his lips and said nothing, just stared at me silently. A fidget was building up, I tried to keep eye contact but finally looked away. He made a 'tch' sound before finally answering.

"It's nothing really, I earned it when I had that run in with Avalanche. That sword his a bitch." he snorted. "But..it'll go away."

"Did it ...bleed a lot?" I looked at him again.

He rolled his eyes and took a swig. "Eh well...but I've had worse." he seemed mildly proud of this fact. He fell back lazily—but strangely gracefully—into a plush arm chair and put the bottle between his legs which were a good distance apart. "So what's up?"

"Oh uh..where's Rude?"

He ran a hand through his hair, undoing the tie and letting his hair fall where it wanted. "He went out, said he'd be back in a little while." Reno shrugged.

"Oh, why didn't you go with him?"

A little grin played on his lips. "We're not connected by the hip y'know..." he slapped one of his own for emphasis.

My face burned. "Of course I knew that!"

"Did ya really?" He raised the bottle again. "Because I can't be too sure with you."

"I just..you two are always together. You two are close friends, right?"

"You could say that."

"See."

"Still doesn't mean we're connected at the hip." he snorted. "And how about you sit down? You're making me antsy standing up like that."

"Yeh.." I looked around for somewhere to sit. There was another armchair but it was near the door. I decided to sit on the edge of the bed nearest Reno. "Okay...sooo...you're not busy are you?"

"Do I look busy?" he laughed to himself. "You're something else."

Silently I wondered how I should take that comment. "Oh..how?"

Reno snorted and drank more of his (non-alcoholic) drink. "Lots of ways..for one, you are so entertaining." he nodded the bottle's head at me slightly, chuckled, and took another sip. "But hey, don't try to change it..it's natural."

"Hah yeah..I'm going to take that as a compliment.."

_Reno is so much cooler than me. _

He scoffed warmly. "You should, I don't give them out often." and then he grinned.

"Aww....Reno..that's sweet!"

His eyes widened and he raised a concerned eyebrow. "Sweet? Sweet. Let's not call me that again, yeah?"

"How come?"

A little evil grin crossed his face. "Because I'm not."

"So you're saying that you've never done anything nice for someone?"

He laughed shortly. "What do you think? Is something really nice or do we only do it to feel self-righteous for a little while? It's all about stroking a person's ego. Yours too, you know it."

Silently, I chewed on my lip. "Hmmm..I guess I could agree with that."

"Because I'm right."

"Not exactly. I think sometimes I've done nice things for people just because. And when I first moved into my apartment, this really nice old man helped me move some stuff."

"A perv."

I fell silent. He's actually right. The old man winks at me every time I pass by him now. Nasty.

"Fine ..fine. So how is it going with Sara? I asked her about you today and she didn't say anything."

Reno didn't say anything, he just scoffed and drank more. "Well if you're going to ask me about my personal life then I'm gonna ask you about yours."

Something went on with those two, first Sara seemed uncomfortable with answering a simple question about him and now Reno—who likes to gossip—isn't supplying any information. He probably told Rude about it, but I guess he won't tell me. Maybe I'm not worthy. "There's nothing going on in my personal life."

"Somehow, I don't believe you." Reno put his now empty bottle on the floor and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. I looked off out of the dark window. "And I'd like to believe you but, you've just been going missing a little too much these days. Turning down invites to lunch, disappearing for hours, getting jumpy when people make innocent comments.." he stroked his chin. "Something is going on here..."

Bagh!

"Nooo, you're just paranoid. I can't believe you don't trust me. But then again..you probably don't trust most people do you?" I tried to sound convincing and not advert my gaze. I wish I could just say 'hey you're right Reno, I'm Rufus's Whatchamacallit' but Rufus insists that I don't. Why is that anyway? It's not like it would be a big deal.

"Actually no." Reno sat back and crossed his arms, his eyes switching over to the window instead. In the pale moonlight his skin seemed to glow a little. His—still quite stringy—red hair fell down his shoulders.

Suddenly he looked back at me, I jumped. "Why not?"

"People are meant to disappoint." he muttered; Reno fished in his pockets and produced a slender lighter. A dancing flame appeared and disappeared with a click. He continued to do this.

"You really think so?"

"Sure." he clicked it off again.

Heh.

"So what about unconditional love and caring about a person selflessly? Do you think that's possible?" I found myself staring at the flame as if reflected in his eyes.

A sardonic grin turned up the corners of his lips, he flicked the lighter off and it suddenly felt a little darker in the room. "Think about this. When we 'care' about someone's well being--"

"I bet you worry about Rude sometimes."

" Yeah well.."

I grinned. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"You're so sweet, sure you might be a little shady, cynical, and a bit nuts but you're adorable. Give me a hug!"

"Touch me and I will come at you like a newly released prisoner."

I withdrew my arms. "Bagh."

He laughed softly. "Think about this, do you really care about someone just because you're a so-called good person or do you care and worry because selfishly you don't want to have to suffer the emotional loss. And if so, would it not be easier to never get emotionally attached in the first place?"

Silence.

"Well..yeah..I've never thought about it that way."

"I know you haven't. I'm all deep like that." he sniffed importantly.

"Yeah yeah...whatever."

We fell silent for a moment. Reno stretched. I found myself staring at my fingernails.

"You know..that offer still stands."

"What offer?!" a shrill voice met my ears—mine. Panic shot through me. I should go back to my room and lock the door! "You are so contradictory! One minute you're calling me your sister and the next you want to...to...."

His grin materialized into a devilish smirk. "C'mon say it. To what?"

"You know! You think this is funny! You sick sick sick person!" I made a move to jump up.

Suddenly I was pinned down under him; his blue eyes sparkling with mischievousness. He's surprisingly strong. I have to keep my wits about me. Don't freak out don't...freak....

Out!

"GET OFF ME RENO!" I flailed about, completely forgetting my training. Terrible! Terrible!

"Say the magic word.." he said in a sing-song voice laced with ...undertones. Does poor Sara have to deal with this?!

"I'll kill you!"

"That's not the magic word.." he muttered against my ear. "C'mon...you know you like it.."

"GAH! When he finds out what you're doing he's going to have you--" I bit my lip. Shut up shut up.

"Oh come on and say it...." he _purred_.

Stop blushing!

"Get off off off!"

"....."

We both looked up. Standing in the doorway with his sunglasses slipping down his nose and his eyes wide was Rude. I shoved Reno and felt a painful heat rise in my face.

"It's not what it looks like!" I heard myself say.

"Heh." Reno slipped off the bed and shrugged. "What's up? Did you find anything interesting?"

The strange air changed to normal just like that. Rude pushed his glasses back up.

"I got stalked by some woman...I would have been back earlier but..well....I had to hide."

I smoothed my hair down, trying to contain myself. What the hell was that all about? The image of Rude hiding from some woman that was probably less than half his size pushed the weird moment from my head.

"I should go..yep.."

"No don't. I'm so so so sorry, I won't play with you again I swear."

I turned around to see Reno putting his hands together as if in prayer; the move would have been sincere if he wasn't smirking like some demon.

"You're terrible." I felt a grin tug at my lips in spite of me. Sure he might have just come on to me—though it had nothing to do with attraction I'm sure. He's up to something—but there's something charming about Reno even if he refuses to recognize it.. How am I going to live down this crap though?

"I know. So sit down, let's hang out." Reno _winked_ at me.

I looked away, to see Rude going into the bathroom only to pause at the door. "Reno your hair is all in the sink."

"Accident."

"You always say that."

Reno grinned and looked over at me.

"You two sound like an old married couple." I crossed my arms. They really do.

"You're not the first person to say that.." Reno shrugged.

"Hmph."

I smiled to myself. Yeah sure Reno might try to molest me from time to time and I still can't figure out why Rude wears those sunglasses but I like them..maybe tonight I'll get to know them a little better? And they'll get to know me a little better too. Except for that Rufus thing. That they can not know.

It was late when I made it back to my room.

-----

My thoughts were all over the place when I woke up. It's a good thing that menial tasks like brushing teeth and showering doesn't require much thought. Over the constant spray of water I wonder what Reno and Rude are up to and if they got any sleep last night or if they stayed up well after I got tired. And what about Tseng? Has he made it to work yet and what is he doing without us around? Maybe he'll call us with an update? And what about Rufus? Has he made it to work? Does he sleep and how does he sleep? I had a weird dream last night pertaining to that very thought. It involved Rufus and a seahorse.

Very weird.**  
**

"What if the guys already know what's going on.." I muttered to myself, almost dropping my that thought, the soap slipped from my hand. I watched the blue and white bar swim around and make foam for a second and then bent down and picked it up. "And why does it matter...? Some how 'because he's my boss' doesn't seem like a good reason."

Still thinking about it, I cut off the water and grabbed the nearest fluffy white towel.

I wonder what Rufus thinks about when his mind isn't occupied.

"Maybe I should...ask him.." I stepped out of the bathroom into my sunlit room. "Yes..that'd be a great idea...next time we get to talk that is..."

On my way out I pause at the full length mirror conveniently hanging beside the door. My skin is pale. I'm pale. When did I get this pale? I've been living in gloom too long, eh? No wonder sunlight seems so bright. I mean.....sheesh.

The sun is beaming down generously all through the court yard, painting the sky in a bright cloudless blue. The moon is still visible too but faded against the sun's light. I blink against the sudden shine and shield my eyes at two tall figures walking toward me. Reno and Rude. The two were talking about something, stopping sometimes to look up at the mountain in the distance and then they laughed about something. I waited, crossing my arms, until they reached me with smiles lingering on their faces.

"Good morning Elena."

"Good morning sunshine." Reno held out a hand.

Suspicious. "You want me to shake your hand?"

"Sure." Reno grinned.

Against my better judgment, I took his hand. The next second I was pulled into a hug and a painful hair ruffling and a little bit of 'hi there scruffy!'.

"Bagh! Hahahaha get off get off!"

He released me, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "So where do you want to go this morning little lady?"

"Don't we have to find out where Don Corneo is?"

Reno shrugged. "Nope. He'll show himself eventually. People like him can't control their own disgusting impulses."

Unlike what I expected, we did not contact headquarters or start a thorough search for our target. What did we go? We went exploring like three tourists that nobody really wanted to deal with. We first went into a weapons shop that wasn't selling then an items shop where Reno ended up running up behind some girl while I purchased lightening Materia and Rude got some phoenix downs and hi potions. By the time we made it out Reno was no where to be found.

"Wonder when he'll be back.."

Finally I decided to say something, during our entire stroll so far Rude hadn't said anything other than 'hmm' and the sound of my heels clacking against the boards of the foot bridges was the most noise either of us was making. We stopped on one of them and looked over the rails at the water flowing beneath us. My question about Reno coming back was in regards to the fact that while we went to a shop to explore he found something a little more interesting to do. By interesting I mean he saw a girl out of the shop window, instantly dropped what he was going to by and ran out to harass—I mean meet—her in less than two seconds. Rude and I merely exchanged unsurprised looks and continued to shop.

"Depends.." Rude replied; he was leaning on the rail, looking up at the pale blue sky.

"On what? Whether or not he succeeds?" I guessed.

Rude nodded. Exactly.

"Isn't he ….with someone else though...?"

"It's just 'harmless flirting'." Rude put up quotation marks with his fingers.

I snorted and looked up at the sky too. A few fat white clouds were moving across it lazily, it almost gave a feeling of complacency but then I reminded myself that we're here for one thing, and it is not for a vacation. "Harmless? Flirting is not harmless..."

"....?"

"For one thing.." I stuffed my hands into my pockets. "Someone is usually going to start getting attached and stuff. It's kinda mean really, especially if one person doesn't really get what's going on. Flirting is not harmless if someone's heart is getting played with."

"Hmm...you can relate?"

"Sure--" I bit my lip and looked over at him. He was still looking up at the sky, his eyes hidden behind those sunglasses. "...well..no not really..."

Why would he say that? Am I being paranoid?

"Okay." Rude said nothing more.

I watched him silently for a second and then looked away to a group of kids kicking rocks around. I wonder what Rufus is up to right now. And what about Tseng? When none of us are there, what does he do? Reno says he might have this alternate ego that takes over when nobody is watching. This is coming from Reno so it doesn't count. Sometimes he can say some genius and insightful things and other times he is just –in Rude's friendly words— a jackass. This silence is different from the other one, it seems like he wants to say something but would rather not. It's not just a silence just because he just is. It's a loud kind of silence. Heh, I've never had one of those with him before.

To seem slightly disinterested, I fished in the bag hanging from my arm and looked at the tiny glass figurine of an elephant that I had gotten impulsively. "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Nothing important."

"Are you thinking about something crazy and you're embarrassed to admit it?"

A smile twitched on his lips; he shook his head. "No."

"You know what perplexes me, Rude?"

He looked over at me, seemingly interested.

"How can someone so quiet be friends with ...well someone so Reno?"

"I wonder that all the time."

"Hahaha." I reached out and patted his shoulder lightly. "You two just compliment each other hmm?"

I wish I had someone like that. Sara's nice to talk to but I hardly see her in person anymore and she always seems to be busy—so unlike me.

"Guess so." he replied after a moment.

"I keep getting the impression that you want to say something but you won't. Go ahead and say it Rude, it's okay! I don't bite really!"

"I'd rather not."

"Oh come on! I'm not above begging!"

"Reno."

I blinked, confused. "It's about Reno?"

"No." he pointed behind me.

Sure enough, Reno was coming towards us—minus the girl from earlier—with a grin on his face. I looked back at Rude. "You're lucky."

He shrugged.

"Miss me?" Reno leaned against the railing between Rude and I.

"No." we answered in unison.

Reno sighed. "Oh no.." he ran a hand across his forehead as if he was about to swoon. "Elena has turned Rude into her clone."

"What happened to the girl?" Rude asked.

Reno shrugged. "She wouldn't keep her hands off me, I had to ditch her."

Heh...somehow I don't believe that.

"Let's go, I found a pub near the entrance....I'm hungry and I want to get drunk.."

"Yes that's a valid reason Reno..you do realize what time of day it is? Mid-Afternoon..what kind of person drinks at that time.." I followed the two.

The bar he found had a huge turtle on top of it and a big barrel it's entrance. The thought of someone small enough being able to hide in it crossed my mind briefly. As we entered, I stopped at a poster tacked near the door. It was a publicity flyer, telling people to look for all of them hidden around the world and they might just win a prize from the Pub.

Who in their right mind will scour the planet looking for dumb flyers?

"They have the best drinks around here, tell her Rude."

Reno jerked a thumb back at me before disappearing into the bar with Rude. I followed them inside with the urge to yell at them and act like I am their mothers (such brave women to conceive those two! Did Rudebaby even cry when he came out? Did Renobaby slap the doctor back?). But I kept my mouth closed and joined them. They were already seated, being served drinks by the waiter. I settled down in one of the empty seats and looked down at the glass that the guy slid to me. I picked it up and stared into it.

I can't get drunk on the job. Not cool.

"Eh.." when I placed it back down, they both looked at me. Rude went back to his glass without a comment. It's not in Reno's nature to do the same.

He raised a eyebrow while running his index finger slowly around the rim of his glass. "What's up with you?"

"I just don't--"

"Pregnant?"

"Pre..do I _look_ pregnant?"

The grin that spread evilly across his face told me that I'd just walked right into another stabbing joke. "Well you have been slacking off lately. No assignments...maybe you've been hitting the cookies and chips out of the machine while doing paperwork?"

GRRRAAHHH!!!

"I'm not going to justify that with a response."

Reno chuckled into his glass and finished it off and took no time in ordering another for himself and Rude. I sighed to myself and nibbled my lip for a moment before nudging Rude and sliding my glass over to him.

I can't help but feel like we should be doing more than just hanging out at this bar. Call me crazy, but aren't we supposed to be looking for Corneo? We are not supposed to be sitting idly by, talking and acting like we're on a vacation. Complaining and pointing this out will only make me seem like a nag with a rod stuck up her backside. I'm trying to convince myself that they know what they're doing. It also worries me that Reno is on his fourth glass and Rude is on his third. What if they get so intoxicated that I have to do it all by myself? While that would be great for my reputation back at work, I don't want to have to see them as less than professional.

"Guys don't you think you should lay off the alcohol? We do have work to do."

Rude didn't reply, he simply adjusted his glasses. Reno scoffed and regarded me with lidded eyes, lazily. "I've got an order for ya."

I waited wearily for the punchline. Sometimes, hanging around guys all day sucks.

Just when he opened his mouth to continue, the bar door opened and light poured in. He looked behind me, muttered something, and then returned to his drink calmly. Then he looked over at Rude, who replied by saying nothing. Are they speaking telepathically?

Then I saw it, crossing the floor, barely an inch from us was a very very familiar spike haired blond with a girl in a pink dress and and another in a black mini-skirt trailing behind. They seemed to be looking for something. They meaning Cloud Strife and two of his party members.

When did _they_ get here?!

Before my brain connected with my body, I was on my feet and words fell out of my mouth.

"Y-you, you?! How did you get here...?" _Wait..that's not important how they got here._

Cloud turned around, his eyes widened in surprise. The girls behind him turned to me as well.

".... never mind that. I guess it's fate that brought us together."

Yes, fate indeed! Now I can prove my worth to the powers that be. ".... Get ready to die!!"

Reno and Rude jumped up behind me.

At least that's what I wanted to happen. Instead, Reno sighed dryly and Rude put his drink down. I turned halfway towards the, expecting them to do something about this. Can't they see that Avalanche is right here just a few feet away from us and tensing up for a battle? And it's only three of them right now, who knows where the other ones went milling off to? Aren't they going to..get up?

"..Elena.." Reno sighed. It seemed a pain for him to put his drink down. "You talk too much."

My mind went blank and I soon became aware that everyone was looking at me. And I was the only person causing a conflict. "....w..what?"

"....Elena..what are we doing out here in the middle of nowhere?"

I searched my thoughts for a good answer that wouldn't reveal information to the group currently shooting weary daggers at me with their eyes. "we are..."

Rude gave a little nod in my direction, a hint almost.

"....we are on vacation and resting up from our work..." I lied.

"And now our vacation is ruined." Reno stated simply, rolling his eyes and returning to his drink and leaving me feeling like an ass. That's his answer? They should be up here _with_ me.

"..but.."

Rude sighed. "....even the booze tastes bad now..."

What?!

It hit me, they had no intention of dealing with these guys right now. My face burned with embarrassment, I dropped my stance and slid back into my seat, trying not to look at Cloud, Aeris, or Tifa. The man behind the bar seemed to deflate with relief.

"....sorry..." I stared at the tabletop. Why am I the one apologizing?

Vaguely over a strange toast Reno started to give, I heard Cloud's dry voice.

"...Yuffie's not in here..c'mon.."

And they left without another word. _They are so lucky..._

Glasses clinked over my head as they concluded their toast. I snapped my head up, looking directly at Reno and narrowed my eyes to what I hope is the scariest thing he has ever seen in his life. Unfortunately, he shrugged and took another swig of his drink. Are they serious?!

"...do you guys realize that we just let them go?"

"Yeah." Reno leaned back in his chair. "There's not a point in bothering them right now. Relax."

"I can't relax Reno--"

"That's your problem."

"........."

"...my problem is--"

The doors opened again. I looked back, balling up my fists at my sides, ready to see that trio again, or maybe even his entire party. Instead I received a shock. In blue soldier uniforms walked in two men. They looked right at us and approached in what seemed to be a relieved manner. ShinRa soldiers? What are _they_ doing here?

One lingered at the door while the other one approached us eagerly. "Sir--"

"What a drag." Reno scoffed and finished off his next glass.

The soldier faltered uninsured while I looked skeptically at Reno. Surely he would hear the guy out right? It's not like he's Avalanche, he's one of us—if not from the same department, he's still a ShinRa employee. What if he brings news from...headquarters or something. Though that does seem highly unlikely.

"...wha..what was that?" the guy asked from beneath his helmet. I can only imagine the expression on his face. A mixture between awe and irritation? I can relate.

Reno put his glass down and shrugged. "Right now...we're off duty.." he waved a hand over Rude and I (off duty?!). "...and can't run off to save your asses from whatever you might be doing."

"...off...duty?" he sounded slightly confused. "Of course..we know you're off duty but.."

A short laugh came from Reno. "If you knew that then don't bother us! Lookin' at you is makin' me sober."

"But..but you all have orders to look for him too. We heard some people talking...we were stationed here for another purpose...but we knew you were here."

So Don really _is_ here. I looked to Reno and Rude, sure they'd get up and spring into action. Rude was observing the conversation. Reno picked up a new glass and started in on it as if he had all the time in the world. His nonchalance is disconcerting. There was a lengthy silence before it became clear that Reno was not going to get up anytime soon.

"...all right.." the soldier sounded tense and vaguely irritated. "We will get him without any help from the Turks, you just see!" he all but shouted and stormed off to rejoin the other.

The one that had been silent near the door stopped just before leaving. "And don't you think headquarters isn't going to hear about this!"

Bwugh!

I watched them for a moment, expecting them to still do something about it. Nothing.

"...Reno.." I felt a frown tug at my brow. "Do you think that was really such a good idea? I mean...is that the way a professional would act?"

At this Rude cleared his throat and looked over at Reno who rolled his eyes , exasperated.

"Elena..." it seemed to pain him to even talk. How lazy is he feeling right now? "...Don't misunderstand. A pro isn't someone who sacrifices himself for his job. That's just a fool. I've told you that before. One day I guess it'll sink in..." he snorted and picked up his glass again.

"Reno we actually are on assignment you know." Keeping my tone level was getting increasingly hard. I can't shriek at him. He's technically my superior....

"...I'm well aware of that. Makes no sense running around like a chicken with it's head cut off."

I looked to Rude. Surely he would have a much better answer and he'd actually do something. He seems like the more mature of the two. "....Rude?"

"...."

Grwwah!

"Well. I don't buy that." I stood up, every part of my body felt stiff and I felt ready to uncoil and spring off somewhere. "I'm going."

Heading for the door, I expected them to follow. I heard a chair move and a self-satisfied grin tugged at my lips as I pushed the door open and sunlight streamed in. I heard Reno's voice –saying to Rude apparently-- that she (me) is not a child so let her have her way for now.

Stepping out under the Wutai sky, I breathed a tense sigh. I can't wonder about what their problem is right now. Are they seriously just being lazy or is there a method to Reno's madness? Probably. At least I hope so, otherwise I'll have to report this to Tseng and I'd rather not. What if they're doing this on purpose so I can be the 'hero' for the day? That seems highly unlikely too. It's probably as simple as this: they're in a vacation spot and decided to take Tseng's not-so-serious suggestion ...seriously. Now that I've ran out of there, I can't go back in and look like an even bigger fool but I have no idea where those two soldiers went.

I looked around and a house near the front of the village caught my eye. A dark haired figure—a girl. Yuffie-- ran out of it. It was one of the biggest houses here. She ran across the grounds at a blinding speed, easily avoiding shocked passerby. Heh. Maybe this will lead to something interesting. She's clearly up to _something_ otherwise she wouldn't be running around like a bat out of hell. And didn't her friends say that they were looking for her? Now that I think about it, the way Cloud said it, he didn't seem too pleased. Did she do something to upset them? I guess I'll have to find out.

Keeping my distance, I followed her.

She moved as if her feet never really touched the ground, it reminded me a little bit of a slinking cat that was up to no good, which then made me think of Reno. Before my frustration with them clouded my thoughts, I pushed it away and continued to follow her. She led me down a winding path towards the tall red pagoda near the forest. It sat tall against a blue sky. I accidentally crushed several yellow tulips while hiding when Yuffie stopped abruptly and looked around. Through the sharp blades of grass I watched her run inside of a big red house. She was gone for a few minutes and then ran back out, looked around again, and then dashed towards a small roofed structure. Up the stairs she went and pulled a lever. Below, at the base, a door creaked open. She ran down the stairs and disappeared inside. Excitement ran through me but I waited a few minutes before rising and going inside.

I stopped short at the bottom of the stairs. It seemed to be an empty cellar of some sort, another set of stairs were on the other side of the room. Nothing but huge cardboard boxes lay scattered everywhere. Where did she go so fast? Is she hiding behind one of the boxes? Well if that's the case then I'll just have to find her and then deal with her.

I took two cautious steps forward and heard a low groan.

Suddenly my vision went black and there was movement behind me. A dull pain flooded my skull, my knees buckled and hit the floor. In the same moment, strong arms wrapped around my waist and I was flung over my attacker's shoulders. Jarring movement told me I was being carried up stairs.

"Let go! I said let go!!" a familiar voice cried nearby.

I twisted and tried to strike the person in any way possible, his grip stayed firm.

"Hey! Who do you think I ….ow!"

Another sharp pain crashed into my skull and the darkness grew heavier...

**-----**

When the darkness began to recede, gravity seemed to be pulling at my feet. I struggled to lift my eye lids and cursed the throbbing pain in my skull. The thick dark haze in front of my eyes slowly faded to gray and then into a jarringly blue and white sky that seemed oddly close as if I could reach it. Then the ground came into view, much further away than it should be. A great jagged canyon was beneath my dangling feet. The only stable ground was too far away to jump into. A large hand and arm, curving around us. Anxiety rose in my throat. Jagged rocks pressed painfully against my spine. In the distance, the red pagoda's roof peeked from a sea of trees far below. My stomach sank; I know where I am now: on the Da Chao mountain.

A little weary moan escaped me. Even if I figure out how to free myself, who is going to prevent me from becoming a shattered bloody mess on the ground if I don't climb down properly?!

"AHHHHHHHH!!!! GET ME DOWN!!!!!"

I jumped so hard, if I wasn't restrained I would have certainly fallen. Beside me was Yuffie, flailing about as much as she could, shaking her head wildly and sending her short raven black hair flying in all directions. After a moment she stopped, looking somewhat defeated or at least exhausted. She was on the other side of the face, the nose of the statue separated us.

"....you're going to tire yourself out." she may be an enemy but I might be able to use her if we get a chance to save ourselves.

"....shut up. Leave me alone ShinRa." she snapped, shooting daggers with her agitated brown eyes.

I bit my lip and fought the overpowering urge to reply scathingly. Today was already going downhill, I didn't need some loud kid telling me where to get off.

She sighed and stared down at the ground. I stared up at the sky and tried to think of a way to release myself from these stupid confines. The sun became unpleasant quickly. Sweat beaded up and ran down my back. After a few moments, I began to feel a little antsy. Where are they? Have they noticed that I've been missing for at least a good thirty minutes? And--

"This is stupid."

I looked up. Yuffie was still staring at the ground, frowning. "What is? Being captured by some idiots that you should have been able to handle? I can relate."

She shook her head. "No you can't."

"Why can't I?"

"Because your stupid company is the reason why Wutai is not as great as it used to be, I'm sure you've noticed."

"...er.."

"It's like a tourist trap now, we lost something when we lost the war even though we got peace. My dad doesn't even seem to care. That's why if I had lots and lots of Materia...like the kind I borrowed from Cloud and the others.." she trailed off.

So that's what she was running for. She stole from her own friends? Heh...

"Well..what do you plan to do with the Materia?"

"I.." she stopped suddenly and turned her head to me so fast I thought it was going to snap off. "I'm not telling you! You are one of them! Trying to sweet talk information out of me! Gah! I can't believe I got myself stuck up here. When I find out who the freak is that put me up here I swear!" she growled. "....how stupid am I right now.." she sighed.

She reminds me of someone. Can't figure out who.

"Well..." I wiggled a bit in my restraints hoping that they'd magically open and I could get down somehow without free falling to the base of the mountain. "...I'm pretty stupid too. I ran out on my partners and well.."

I looked over at her, offering a smile. She frowned at first before a grin reluctantly materialized on her lips. She snorted. "That's funny. I bet you feel like a total moron."

"Hey! Maybe I do but that's not for you to say--"

The sound of gravel and talking alerted us. To my shock, a round , blond, balding man in red walked across the hand and stopped at the huge fingers, right near the edge. Don Corneo. He looked up at us.

"Ahh! LET ME GO!!" Yuffie was back to energetically shaking about, trying to free herself in vain.

That disgusting little man! I can not believe I let myself become a _hostage_ to this guy!

He stroked his chins and walked down towards the palm , his entire body seemed to shimmy like disgustingly energetic jelly. "Hmm! Delicious...scrumptious! I think I've found a new HOBBY!! Which shall it be...hmm...hmm.." he seemed to be deep in thought for a second. Then he was standing right beneath me. "Should I go with...her?"

BAH!

"Hey..I'm one of the Turks! Do you think you can get away with this?!"

Don stopped and turned around surprisingly fast and walked to the edge of the finger and did that same disgusting shimmy in Yuffie's direction. "Or...maybe...her?"

"Oh gawd! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would have taken those escape lessons more seriously!!!"

She looked over at me, wide eyed. I shrugged with much difficulty. _Any moment now..they'll be coming right?_

He turned away from us so all we could see was his broad back that was stretching the red fabric of his unnecessary cloak. "Hmm!" he said to himself, dramatically. "I've made my choice!! My companion for the night will be...."

I closed my eyes. _Not me not me...this is not happening._

"The cheerful one!"

My eyes opened as he whipped around and shimmied at Yuffie. She thrashed around with new vigor, screaming swears. "GROSS-NESS!!! Don't mess with me old man!!! You don't have any Materia!!"

_So Materia is the deal breaker these days?_ Focus!

"Ooh!" his face reddened and he licked his lips. "And she's saucy too! WHEEEWHEE!!" he made a move toward the ever freaking-out Yuffie.

"Alright that's it!!"

A new voice. Corneo's glee faded rapidly and he backed away. "...What..who's there?"

Down the arm of the Da Chao statue appeared Cloud followed closely behind by the remaining women—Tifa and Aerith—and then the angry looking man with the gun arm that I knew to be Barret, then Cait and that red dog, Red XII. The newest members to their party headed up the rear, a blond rough looking man who I recognized as Cid Highwind from old files in that godforsaken basement and finally a tall slender man in a red cloak. Vincent Valentine. While I'm a bit happy to see them I can't help but wonder where Rude and Reno could possibly be. Had they really not come looking for me? Did they even pay attention to the fact that I have been missing for quite some time now?

"Oh man! Cloud!" Yuffie sounded relieved and a bit guilty. "...please don't be mad."

Cloud ignored her. It was the one in the pink dress and bow that seemed to hear her instead. Aerith's long braid snaked around her shoulder as she looked up at us. She nodded lightly at Yuffie before turning back to the matter at hand. She lightly put a hand on Vincent's shoulder, he turned slightly, crossing his arms. A few seconds later, he nodded and cast a glance up at us.

Corneo shimmied again and bounced from foot to foot. "Wheee!! Long time no see."

Cloud scoffed dryly. "Don't tell me you forgot."

Tifa, beside him, clenched her fists. "Yeah! That fall into that trap really hurt!"

Hmm..

Don shrugged. "Forgive me." he was completely insincere.

Cid hah'd loudly. "Maybe God'd forgive an ugly bitch like you, but I won't!!" The 'twang' in his voice seemed to add to the wild threat in his words. He spit off the side of the hand and touched his short blond hair while gripping his spear behind him. He was ready for action.

Is there anyone that Don _hasn't_ pissed off?

"Be Quiet!" Don demanded suddenly. Everyone fell into a shocked silence. "None of you know how much I have suffered since then.." he sighed and turned his back on the group. "...it's a long story but.."

Tifa stomped, breaking the silence. "We don't care!!" she growled. "Just let them go!"

They are concerned about me too? That doesn't seem right.

Corneo turned around. "Hmm...you guys...are serious..." his tone got less playful. "...good..good. This ain't no time for me to be foolin' around either....Tell me, why did you kill my little Aps?"

"...." Cloud visibly tensed.

"I'm gonna make you play with my new pet, so you won't get in the way of my search for a new bride!!"

Everyone assumed battle stances, weapons emerged. Red XII's flaming tail swished violently against the sky. Corneo fell melodramatically to one knee and raised an arm.

"Rapps!! Come!!"

There was an inhuman squawk and the sound of wings beating the air. Then a long necked winged creature flew in, it's talons hovering just above their heads. They lunged into battle without hesitation...

**----**

The parts lay ripped, burned, and utterly destroyed around them. Tifa rose from the ground, being the one that landed the final attack, and flung a piece of Rapps off into the canyon. Behind her, Vincent landed gracefully and kept his gun drawn.

"...I could have handled that.." Yuffie muttered.

I looked over at her catching her eye and then looked away to the ground. I received a uncomfortable shock. Beside Barret, who was thoroughly engaged in the moment and flexing his bulging muscles as if violent energy was pumping through his veins, the black and white cat had tuned around on the big pink moogle and was staring up at _me_. My stomach clenched and I looked away toward Yuffie who was still wasting energy by writhing around. I risked a glance at the Cait again. It had turned to its normal position. Reeve is watching. How embarrassing. I'm a Turk. This isn't supposed to happen!

Cloud raised his sword again, aiming for Don Corneo.

"Wait..wait..a second." Don stood and flailed his hands.

"Shut up!" Cloud demanded, his usually dull voice alive with irritation.

Corneo held up his hands, clearly not obeying. "Just listen to me—it won't take long."

Cloud let his arms fall to his sides. His sword scraped the ground. Everyone else let their stances loose tension. Do they really trust this fool?!

"Why do you think a bad guy like me would swallow his pride and plead for his life?"

Simply, Cloud shrugged.

"Because he's ready to die? Because he's sure to win? Or because he's clueless?"

Oh dear.

Instantly, Cloud answered. "Because, you're ready to die."

Don made a buzzing noise. "Wrong!!"

Suddenly, gravity shifted and my blood rushed to my head, throbbing against my already sore skull. For the first time, panic rushed through me as I stared down into the canyon. My gun fell, hitting every rock on it's way down. A Materia followed suit. I felt sick but held in my surprise.

Near by, Yuffie screamed about how she was now mad.

Corneo cackled. "If I push this button, they'll fall upside down and we'll have squashed tomatoes!"

"Damn!"

"Coward!" Tifa shouted.

I forced my eyes away from the chasm and towards the scene again. Cid scoffed. "So, this is how a loser lives..!"

Corneo wasn't shaken. He now had the upper hand. "Now, give me your women too! Hahah! I guess I'm the one laughing last!!"

"No, that would be us."

My heart jumped. A figure slipped past Cloud's group from the shadows in a cool manner. With a shock of red hair and his hands in his pockets, I've never been so happy to see Reno. Where is Rude?

"The Turks!!" Everyone looked at Reno, who simply shrugged.

"You knew this was going to happen ever since you leaked that secret." he laughed, humorlessly. "We're going to take care of you personally."

Corneo flailed about, fired up. The pain to my head increased. "Dammit! They're all goin' with me!!"

There was a small flash and suddenly, Don groaned in pain, teetered backwards, and fell off the finger, he grabbed the tips before he lost all balance.

Reno looked down the path, out of my view. "Good timing, Rude."

There was no answer, but Rude appeared near the other side of the head and crossed his arms, looking up at me. Warm embarrassment rushed to my cheeks, worsening the pain in my head.

Rude turned to Reno. "....let's get to work."

Cloud and the party watched wordlessly. Yuffie moaned in distress. Reno jumped over to the Don and put a boot on his fingers.

"Alright, Corneo." he put a hand on his hip. "This'll be over quick, so listen up. Why do you think we went through all the trouble of teaming up with these guys to get you?"

"Uh.." Reno continued, calmly. "Because we were ready to die? Because we were sure of victory? Or because we are clueless?"

Corneo's head bobbed up and down. "Two...number two?"

"All wrong." he moved his foot and applied pressure judging from the painful squealing from Corneo.

"No..! Wait, sto...!!"

Reno removed his foot at that exact moment. Corneo disappeared over the edge with a scream, which faded and then stopped abruptly.

"The correct answer was.."

Rude pushed up his sunglasses and peered into the canyon. "...'because it's our job'."

Hah! They came for me!

"Oh, thank you. Thank goodness, I never expected you to come help.."

Reno turned to me, shaking his head. "Don't act so weak. You're a turk."

I had the strongest sense to actually call him 'sir' for once. I didn't. I said nothing but a small agreement.

Cloud and the others suddenly seemed uncomfortable. One uttered 'thanks'. Rude turned his back to them again. The silence that followed was broken by a ringing phone. Reno flicked his out, said a few "Yeah..uhuh..I'll get to it.." and hung up.

Despite my headache, I was curious. "Was that the company?"

"Yeah, they want us to find Cloud."

At his word, the group assumed fighting stances. Yuffie groaned.

There was another lengthy silence where I feared brain damage.

"Are we on..?" Rude broke it this time.

Reno ran his fingers through his hair. "No. Today we're...off duty."

The whole area seemed to sigh in relief. I didn't protest. The growing tense silence faded again thanks to a struggling Yuffie.

"Hey! Who cares about that?!! Get. Me. Down!!!!"

Vincent began to come forward, looking unwilling.

**

* * *

**

The ocean licked the shore and bumped up against it. Rude and I stood near it, leaning against the helicopter. Reno left to go dispose of the body, saying that he'd rather not give Wutai a reason to figure out anything. It was Tseng's suggestion, not his own idea. After we were helped down from the mountain by Vincent, we all parted ways. Reno went climbed down to find Don's body, Cloud and his party went back into the Village, and Rude and I headed out to wait.

"Can we not tell Tseng or Rufus about what happened...the part where I get kidnapped?"

Rude laughed softly. "...I can not promise that."

"I mean, The President." I corrected myself, softly.

"....?"Rude shifted next to me. Did he hear me? Doesn't seem so.

We stood in silence again. I looked out at the ocean that seemed to go on forever.

"I'm confused. Why didn't you guys help out sooner?" I nibbled my bottom lip.

Rude adjusted his glasses and stared up at the sky. "There's always a method to Reno's madness."

"What does _that_ mean?" Before he could answer, Reno appeared , heading toward us. Madness indeed.

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--

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**Sorry it took me so long. Time really can get away from me sometimes, I'd meant to update way sooner. Hmm? Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I know there's no Rufus in it but I promise he'll be back in the next. So questions? Comments? What did you think about seeing Cloud and Co again? Reviews people, reviews! You know we're almost at 300! Thanks so much for everyone that has read and reviewed, you guys keep me going when I have creative blockage. I really appreciate it.**

**Also, whenever we reach 300, I might just give the 300th reviewer a gift. We'll talk about that later.**

**-goodwitch2008**

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	23. One Cup of Boredom

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**Chapter 23**

One Cup of Boredom, A Table Spoon of Desperation and a Half a Stick of Charisma

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Another white glob slid down the tiny tube and hung on to the bristles for a moment before dropping down onto my paper where it was blown dry by my breath which I hoped didn't leave the slight smell of lunch in the correctional liquid. I pulled back from my handiwork and observed. My 'handiwork' was a freckly smiley face on a black sheet of construction paper I found in the trash. This is going to be my newest bit of 'art' I've made in the past hour, joining the paper crane at the corner of my desk beside my glass elephant from Wutai, the squiggly lines and scribblings of 'Rufus' in different ways on a sheet of printing paper, a chewed up pencil with my name carved into it, and a big curly haired sad face written in pencil on my desk. I've never felt so useless in my life, I can't stand having nothing to do and this is a really big insult. I should not be sitting at my desk making the coolest face in the world out of toxic substances, I should be out on assignment with Reno and Rude. Technically, Tseng told me earlier when I realized they were gone that where they were going would only take them like an hour and it was just some simple 'field research'. I like to believe Tseng, he tells me nice things and I listen, probably because I'm still so strung up on him but the guys did not return an hour later. In fact, it's been three hours since they left and lunch has come and gone. So now I'm bored, and a little bit irritable. Did no one check the fine print that said that Elena does not like to be idle? Someone must did not get the memo. That someone being Rufus apparently. I still have not addressed him properly about having me be an overpaid secretary. I don't understand his reasoning behind it at all. He said it had nothing to do with him worrying about my safety so what could it possibly be?! Could it be about Wutai? I know my performance at Wutai was significantly crappy. Reno took no remorse in pointing that out on the flight back and when we landed and reported it to Tseng, he—nor Rude—minced words for my sake. The point is, I sucked and I humiliated myself. No one wants to get kidnapped by a disgusting pervert and his stupid flunkies that probably can't even spell Concubine. What does that say about me that I fell into some sort of trap? It says that I'm a sad little person is what it says. But Rufus isn't supposed to know that. While I am trying not to be mad at him for doing this to me yet again, I can't help but wonder why he's doing it to me. Since I'm his...Whatchamacallit..and all I'd think he'd want to go out of his way to ensure my happiness. But I guess not, not Rufus Shinra uh uh.

With one last brush stroke I capped the bottle and looked at my handiwork. If the company psychiatrist saw this mess they'd think I had latent issues going from mother issues to abandonment issues and everything in between. Half of the face was happy, the other was sad, and it was covered in big circular things like freckles. It has a Mohawk with bells on it. Oh yes, the wonders of...boredom.

"....I need something to do. Just a little something, I just have to have a goal.." I sighed and balled up the paper, it was still a little wet. I threw it in the trash and buried my face in my hands. "Why..why...why.." I sound so pitiful. Like a three legged dog that's being kicked in the ribs by a homeless man named Bob. That a severe kind of pitiful.

Having nothing to do has also drained my energy. I almost didn't even want to get up and come to work today, I just knew this was going to happen. I knew I would be left here doing other people's paperwork and being bored out of my mind. I don't want my only thing to look back at after my first year of working here to be a small scar on the palm of my hand after shooting myself there a few weeks ago, and a mountain of doodles. Oh and making out with Rufus a total of ...seven times. That tidbit, I'm actually proud of. But that's not the point. I'm tired of sitting at this desk staring at my computer screen, playing stupid computer card games and getting paper cuts! I'm also tired of being tired because I'm tired! I can't believe how I ruined everything from just a simple trip to Wutai. What if all of that was a test?! Because I kinda doubt they needed all three Turks to go there and dump a disgusting blob off a mountain. What is Rufus playing at?! Is he trying to make me dislike him?! Or is it more sinister than that? Maybe he's trying to make me go crazy!!

"Eh, probably not." I got up from my desk, suddenly I feel like getting coffee. It'll be the best thing for me to do today. Down on the floor where the gym and pool is they have different types of caffeine beverages (and other things...I never eat down there though unless Reno or Rude go). What's sad is that the most interesting part of my day might just be trying out a couple of new flavors. I can see it now, the guys will come back from Costa Del Sol talking about how Reno blew up something and how Rude got a new pair of shades or something and when they ask me what I did all day I can just say:

"Oh shucks! Well gosh golly geewiz! I tried out some new flavors today guh huckh!"

How depressing is that mess?!

With two steaming tall foam cups with plastic caps in hand and mixed aromas of cinnamon and chocolate, I step off the elevator. Isn't this great? The most fascinating thing that's about to happen to me today is wondering whether I should drink the cinamony one or the the chocolaty one first. What joy! I don't know how Tseng stays here for several days sometimes. But then again, Tseng actually has important things to do while I ...don't. Even Tseng is gone right now though, at least he left about two hours ago to go handle some business, he didn't specify what but he checked in on me and told me so.

There's a big window at the corner of my hall that overlooks a balcony, it's not the same one that Reno usually goes on, the same one that he took me on when we talked. It's facing in a different direction. I walk past it, I notice a lone suited figure standing out there, black hair billowing in the wind, leaning on the banister and looking out at the city, with a phone to his ear. Tseng! So I guess he came back!

Maybe I'll offer him one of these.

"Um...sir?"

I waited for him to hang up once I got outside with him. The wind hung in the air, barely moving and when it did it lifted his hair off his back and tossed it around his shoulders. My own, not being as graceful, slapped me in the face and got it my eye making it burn but I couldn't do anything about it. I stepped over to him and thrust out both arms, not really sure what to say. I don't really have any other reason for joining him other than...well...cinnamon or chocolate.

He looked over at me and then turned around, saying hello. Then his gaze fell on my outstretched arms. A small unsure laugh escaped me. I should explain!

"Tseng, funny story. I was bored so I want down to get some coffee and decided to get two instead of one. Then I saw you so I was like, it'd be nice to just..share. I didn't even know you were back but it's nice that you're back. I've been sooo bored today. It's painful really. I mean maybe I understand why but..yeah anyway back to coffee. I'm not sure if you like either one of these flavors but I got um...well I'm not really sure since there were so many options and I pretty much just pointed at random. One is uh..." I looked at the label without really seeing it. "Chocolate cocoa mocha something and the other one is cinnamon swirl something or another...I don't know I think it's kinda frothy..." I shrugged. "Well....yeah..."

_Smooth Elena, really smooth._

"Sure, why not." he took the one from my left hand. "You seem to have been having an interesting and busy day wouldn't you say so?"

"Well..actually..uh.."

"...I was being ironic." he laughed softly. "I'm sorry, I'm not funny am I?"

"No! You are, I just..sometimes your version of humor just goes over my head. I like it though, it's dry and witty without being vulgar or rude like some people's..it's...nice" I bit my lip and tried some of my coffee (without really tasting it at all), hoping my obvious ass kissing would be overlooked. And hopefully the heat in my face. "...yeah."

I looked over at him, he was looking up at the sky seemingly thoughtful. This is the first time I've actually been alone with Tseng when it didn't involve work or him giving me orders. I know I'm not supposed to secretly wish for him to suddenly confess his undying love to me but I can't help it. He's just so..so..so..Tseng! Even the way he's holding the cup loosely with both hands over the edge of the rail and the way his hair Is billowing around him is almost good enough for some magazine or at least my imagination--

His eyes met mine and an eyebrow raised. "Elena? What is it?"

AHH! He's caught me ogling him like some hungry puppy!

"Nothing." I mumbled quickly, staring down at the plastic top on my cup. "Sorry."

AHH!!!

"...."

"I should go." I forced myself to look up at him. "You know..with all of that interesting work I have to do and all." I tried to smile and hoped that sounded at least a little witty or sarcastic

He nodded and a small smile twitched on his lips.

"I did it right?" A real grin replaced the one that probably looked like I was in pain. "The...ironic thing?"

Tseng leaned against the rail, facing me, and nodded while lifting the cup to his lips. "Yes, a bit."

"That's a relief. Usually random shit just flies out of my mouth." Crap! "Like..just now." I winced inwardly and wished I could scald my tongue with my drink , but it wasn't exactly that kind of coffee. ShinRa tries not to provide burn-your-tongue-off-and-get-a-skin graft_ scalding_. People get sued like that.

"Yes, like just now indeed." he shook his head, probably thinking something to himself. The oddest little smile played on his lips as he turned away from me and back toward the city and the sky. "Good luck, Elena."

"Good luck, sir?"

"Yes." he ran a hand through his hair. "Just remember, you'll have to be much more assertive than that. I know you have it in you. You should use it more often instead of stifling yourself. A little aggression might help to get your goal across too."

"What...?" My mind went blank. Is this him cleverly admitting that he secretly has all kinds of feelings for me and he wants me to be more aggressive and just admit them so we can run off into the sunset?!

"...You'll figure it out. I'd love to see what happens afterward."

"...somehow I get the feeling we're not talking about the same thing." I scratched my hair. "Are we?"

"Of course we are."

Right.

Without saying anything else at the risk of confusing myself, I left him and went back inside. I returned to my office and sat down at my desk and sipped mine slowly. It's the cinnamon one. I put the cup down and stared at my desk replaying Tseng's words in my head. We didn't seem to be on the same page. Maybe what he meant was something else..hmm..

The minutes ticked by and I still drew a blank.

"He said....be aggressive..to get my goal accomplished. What is my goal? Not_ that_ goal I hope. He can't know _that_ goal. _That_ goal is my own business. No one knows _that _goal. But me." I picked up the coffee again. I finished it off and ran a hand through my hair. "...unless he means....talking to Rufus."

"Ah hah....I'm going to go talk to him."

I got up, and stormed out of my office, feeling a mixture of excitement and determination. I am not going to freak out and back out, I have to get a real answer out of him for once. Or at least a good result! And as a matter of fact, I'm going to demand that he let me get more experience or I'll let him get shot by Avalanche or something. How can I do my job if he won't let me do it? Hmm?!

Chaminade was pacing around her desk when I reached the seventieth floor, she was on her personal cellphone and was red in the face. I slipped past her as soon as her back was turned, pushing her weird behavior from my thoughts. I can care less what's going on with her. Maybe I can get Rufus to fire her if this goes over well? Of course not, I wouldn't want to get her fired. Sure she's nosy, a little creepy in the non-erotic way (there is a way..there is.), and doesn't get the Elena seal of approval BUT she doesn't deserve to be fired.

Maybe I'll get fired if I don't start proving some worth around here. I bet Tseng questions why the hell they let me be a Turk!

I knocked on his door once, twice, three times. Maybe he's not in there--

The door opened, Rufus looked down at me, a slight frown across his face. He wasn't expecting me was he?

"...Elena? Did Tseng send you up?" He stood between the door frame.

"No. I came up on my own." I crossed my arms, holding his gaze. "I need to talk to you.."

"Oh, well." he laughed softly. "Later. I'm a bit busy." he made a move to close the door.

Before I knew it, I stuck out my hand and held the door open. "Well, with all due respect, sir... If _I_ were busy, I wouldn't be bothering you."

Rufus's eyes widened for a second and then narrowed almost into slits. The urge to bite my lip and fidget came strong but I held back and waited.

"Excuse me?" he crossed his arms.

"Excuse _me_, Rufus but I'm sure you can understand why I'm here. You have had me almost completely on desk duty for the past few weeks and I've only been on assignments that you deem worthy. And about your previous explanation...well..I don't believe you. And I know that technically you don't have to explain yourself to me but damn it …." I sighed. "...I am not meant to be filing papers and stuff Rufus. That's not my job. I'm not a secretary, I'm not Chaminade or Roslyn, I'm a Turk and I'd prefer it if I was used more than I am. I mean how else will I get any experience?"

At Rufus's sigh, I forced myself to look up again. His growing annoyed expression was gone, he was...smirking. Was something funny?!

"What's funny?"

Rufus chuckled dryly. "We'll talk later."

"Later? Later! But--"

The door was closed lightly in my face. I raised my hand to knock again, feeling extremely sour. How dare he do that! I knocked again, hurting my knuckles with the force. The door opened. Rufus once again stood between me and his office.

"Elena you're still here?" he raised an eyebrow. Did he really expect me to leave?

"Of course I am. It's not in my nature to just walk away." I crossed my arms and tried not to think too hard. "...once you get to know me better, you'll figure that out."

He was silent, he just looked at me, his blue eyes searching my face. He didn't seem annoyed that I was here nor did he seem mad. He just observed me until the urge to fidget came on strong. I stood my ground, planted my heels into the floor and looked up at him.

Finally, a small smirk appeared, and I was thrown off guard. I wasn't expecting him to seem so....self satisfied.

"What?" I asked tensely. "Why are you smirking like that?"

He shrugged slightly. "I have my reasons. Look Elena, while this is all very entertaining, I really do have work to do."

"But--"

He pressed a finger to my lips. "We'll talk later. Maybe."

And once again the door was closed in my face. I stood there for a moment, half way in shock with a very negative feeling creeping up. Half of me wanted to kick the door and start screaming obscenities, the other half chastised and reminded me that I am the one that popped up unannounced at his office for no other reason. That half told me to look at it from his point of view as I headed back past Chaminade's desk—which was now empty—and onto the elevator and that if I thought about it I probably wouldn't want some confrontational desperate psycho interrupting my suddenly very demanding work. But something tells me whatever he was doing could have waited a few minutes.

I got back to my floor and stepped off the elevator, running smack dab into a broad chest.

"Oof.." I looked up and saw sunglasses looking down at me. "Rude? Hey."

"Hey." he moved out of the way. "What's up?"

"Nothing..nothing.." I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Where's Reno?"

He adjusted his sunglasses. "No idea. After we got back he ran off talking about he had to go talk to 'that girl'."

"Sara?"

"Maybe. He didn't specify." Rude shrugged. "Where are you coming from?"

"Er..." I want to tell him so bad, just lay out a big rant all over him and make him listen to it. But I can't. Why can't I anyway?! I should, just to spite him since he closed the door in my face. How dare he do something like that to me!

"You're turning red." Rude put a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?"

No I'm not!!! Bwwwaah!

"....actually no. Well..how okay can I be when I'm bored out of my mind and certain people won't hear me out...grrr.."

"Certain people? Rufus?"

"Why...why would you say that?" Panic!

"Well, I was assuming you'd went to talk to Rufus. I mean you did didn't you?" Rude crossed his arms and raised a brow.

Gah! I feel like I'm being interrogated!

"...yeah...yeah..maybe..um...yeah." I reminded myself to stay calm, Rude is just being nice unlike a certain person on the seventieth floor. Grrawr. "Yeah."

Rude raised an eyebrow. "Okay. How did it go?"

"Not well."

**

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**

"So how did it go?"

I looked at Tseng, trying to figure out how I wanted to answer this. If I lied he'd know it and if I told the truth I'd feel incredibly lame. I decided to go with the easy approach and simply bite my lip and shrug. Maybe he'll get the impression that I don't want to talk about it and change the subject. Yesterday's events were kinda his fault, if he hadn't put me up to it I wouldn't have got the door slammed in my face by Rufus. Earlier today we had one of those meetings were the Turks attended and listened in, I happened to end up sitting closer to Rufus than I anticipated. At first Rude was going to sit there but let me and I couldn't very well tell him no, then it'd seem weird. There was a tension in that room that could break a knife if a knife tried to cut it. Does that make sense? Anyway... I kept my eyes peeled on Palmer's black eye the entire time or Reeve who smiled at me politely. Reeve seems like a cool guy. Anyone that makes spying robotic cats is cool in my book. If I was that cool I wouldn't be on desk duty. Grr. Anyway at one point Reno took the time to kick me sharply in the leg because he felt like it (I punched him for this as soon as the meeting was over. He burst into laughter and ruffled my hair. I'm not his little sister! Grrrah! We're barely five years apart! But I can't say that I don't kinda sorta like it. Creepy thought: I'm his little sister that he sometimes acts like he wants to get incestuous with...) and I inhaled so sharply that half of the table looked at me in the middle of Rufus talking. He looked at me too, blankly and went on like nothing had happened. A lot of important things were being talked about and all I wanted to do was lunge at him across the table and go rolling on the floor and ripping out clumps of that perfect golden hair.

Finally I decided I should answer.

"He closed the door in my face."

"Oh." Tseng leaned against a window in the break room where we were and looked thoughtful. "Perhaps that was a bad idea."

"Hah! Yah it was!" I laughed, not a nasty laugh but a laugh laugh. It was refreshing to just laugh about something without getting wound up about it. I think I'm getting too high strung these days.

Tseng clearly didn't expect my reaction. He raised an eyebrow and was silent for a moment. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I'm beginning to love having you around."

Which way of taking that is the wrong way?

He left me there with the smile frozen in place and he said something about having something to do. I didn't have time to dwell on his offhand compliment and/or insult because Rude and Reno sauntered in. Well Reno did the sauntering. Rude just walked in like a normal person. Reno's walk is catlike, stealthy, and shady all at the same time. It makes him seem like he's always up to something devious and intriguing. I just hope that his devious intriguing antics didn't involve me a roll of tape or something.

I'm still on Tseng using the word 'Love' and 'You' in the same sentence. That sure improved my mood from this morning where I was more sullen than ever. Even the lady at the front desk—Edna--asked me if something was wrong. If –how ironic—my 'boyfriend' had broke up with me. When I asked her where in the kittens on a fire hydrant she'd gotten that idea she just shrugged and said she assumed it was about a man. Half of me wanted to shoot her and tell her to mind her own business or talk about the weather, the other half wanted me to proclaim that it wasn't just any man but Rufus Shinra himself and the fact that he shut the door in my face the day before. But she wouldn't want to hear that. I know eventually I'll have to talk to him, I just have to figure out how to corner him--

"......I think she's losing it Rude." a pale palm was waving in front of my face and behind it was blue eyes and red hair and a grin.

I blinked. "...sorry..what were you saying?"

"You were starin' off in space like something was wrong with you." Reno put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "What's up?"

Rude settled down in a nearby chair and took off his sunglasses and cleaned them. Reno was still waiting for an answer.

"Nothing..."

"You've been actin' funny. Rude noticed it too. Spill."

"Stop being a girl, you're such a gossip. That's supposed to be my job." I wanted to say, just to shock him with a catty response but instead I shrugged and mumbled something about boredom.

"If you're bored how about you join us. We're gonna train a bit, c'mon we promise not to go easy on you."

I looked up at him and nibbled my bottom lip. "Promise?"

"I swear."

"Good, let's go."

And we did and they didn't. Go easy on me that is. Yet another thing to make me feel a little better today is knowing that I can last in a fight against Reno and almost against Rude. Almost. I never want to be at the receiving end of Rude's fist again (but he did pick me up off the floor and act all concerned if I had a concussion). Gawd! The best part of training was watching them fight each other. It was like a dance sometimes, they knew each other's moves well in the end it turned out being a tie. Then we moved on to fighting artificial intelligence programs in holograms and worked as a team. I think I fit in nicely with them. We're all odd but compliment each other right? Reno's attack style is completely random it seems, Rude's is more thought out and powerful. I can't wait to see Tseng in action. When we were done four hours had passed and they were called out to go do an assignment. I told them I'd stay for a little while but lost the energy to fight rendered enemies after they left. Once again, I am stuck here by myself! I took a shower and left the training area, lost in my own thoughts. As usual, when I am lost in my thoughts I end up running into people. This time instead of a broad masculine chest like Rude's it was a big feminine chest belonging to Scarlet.

"Watch where you are going why don't you?" she stooped down in her red dress, picking up the file that dropped from her hand. Half of me wanted to help her but half of me didn't. So I didn't. It was nice for a change to have one of the executives picking up something while I watched. Her blond curls fell around her as she stood up briskly. I apologized and expected her to leave. Instead she dusted off her red dress and turned her eyes on me, thoughtful almost.

"....?"

"You're a Turk right? Elena?"

"Yeah...yes...uh huh...and you're Sara's boss you overworking hag with an ugly laugh and questionable attire....." I almost said in response to her pointless question but held it in and just nodded. She was just asking a question, no need to be snippy to everyone. I blame Rufus! He has me in a sour mood!

"Yes....why?"

She handed me one of the skinny files she was holding. "Take that to The President for me why don't you."

Why cruel world?!

This will be a good time to have an actual excuse to see him and then force him to talk to me. Yes. That's what I'll do and this time I won't take no for an answer. I just have to make sure I actually get in his office this time. Thank Shiva for Scarlet. Though I know that Sara wouldn't agree.

"......uh...--"

"Thank you." she clacked away and around a corner.

"....friggen impolite." I muttered to myself and made my way to his office trying to fight down the solid determination threatening to bubble over in my throat.

This time I'm going to get what I want or I'm blowing up the entire ShinRa building. If he rubs me the wrong way—or right way teheheheehehehe—I might detonate. Kablam!

Maybe I'll try out my spontaneous combustion powers on Chaminade first.  
She peers at me over her glasses I never knew she wore—for reading she said—and put down the phone . I noticed a lot had changed about her in the past few weeks, nothing that I noticed before because she's not really that significant to me. Firstly, her size had dimensioned and her clothes weren't as tight as they used to be and secondly, that size seemed to be turning into muscle. Has someone been hitting the gym? Her hair was darker than it used to be and tied into a neater bun and her desk was neater too. Did Rufus cause this with his powers of persuasion? Who knows. I don't care right now, I just want to get past her and her hawk stare.

I shoved Scarlet's files under her nose quickly, having read them myself I knew exactly what was in them now. It wasn't all that interesting, just stuff about her newest project, the one that had Sara up all hours of the night with prototypes and stats and figures and stuff like that. I still can't help but wonder what she's going to use it for.

"Is he in his office?" I repeated for the second time while she slowly smeared whiteout on a typed letter of her own.

"I think so. He really laid into me yesterday about letting people slip by unnoticed. I have to tell him you're here."

She reached for the intercom. I slammed it down on her desk and kept my hand firmly on hers. She looked up, wide eyed and her glasses slipping off her nose. I never noticed, her eyes aren't brown but dark forest green. Heh. Contacts maybe?

"That won't be necessary I promise. He knows I'm coming. And if he yells at you or something about it just tell him that I threatened you with my gun."

"Gun?"

"Yeah." I pulled it out and pointed it at her. "Let me through."

She paled and her mouth fell open. A grin pulled at my lips.

"I'm not actually going to shoot you, this is for the cameras. See, I'm playing the role of the desperate crazy person and you're just doing your job. So you're going to let me through without causing a fuss. Besides, you should know I don't usually do the gun thing, I'm happier punching. If I really was going to attack you the only evidence would be a black eye and a concussion. Not a close-range bullet wound between your newly tweezed eyebrows."

"........"

"So I'm going to put the gun up now and go on my merry way. Scarlet sent me." I put the gun away, picked the files up off the floor and strolled past her feeling extremely awesome.

She's so going to hate me eventually or quit because crazy people keep attacking her. Crazy people that come in the form of 'petite blonds with psychotic tendencies'.

I walked down the corridor to his office that separated Chaminade's desk from his door and knocked three times, still feeding off the energy of scaring the hell out of her. Reno would be proud. The door opened and I stepped in, half expecting Rufus to be behind it. But no, he was sitting at his desk leaning back in the chair and looking off at the screen on his wall. The remote in his hands.

"That was quite a show you put on, Elena."

"Yeah well.." I crossed my arms, pushing the file against my chest.

"I'm impressed."

I made a little noise but said nothing.

He just turned in his chair and observed me, intertwining his fingers. A small smirk was playing on his lips, I could tell even from my stance near the door. I walked a little closer, my fingers twitched with the tiny urge to slap him. Just a little.

"....I have been waiting for that. I can't say I'm surprised about yesterday or today."

"Waiting for what?" I reached his desk and put the files down as lightly as possible despite the urge to slam them down, jump across the desk and roll out of the window with him. But I was curious.

"For you to drop that act. You're not _that _much of a good girl. Though it's amusing how hard you try to deter your natural impulses." he brushed his hair from his face. "So, I assume you're upset about something." he ignored Scarlet's file. "Is it the fact that you have been quite stationary or is it something else?"

I wasn't really sure what something else could be so I stuck to my first issue. "...I'm tired of being 'stationary' like I told you before you closed the door in my face yesterday." I answered shortly and remained standing. I adverted my gaze to the window instead. His gaze would do things to me, I know it.

"I'll see what I can do about that."

I looked down at him, honestly surprised. He actually is going to just change it just like that? I didn't care why he did it, I just wanted him to stop but I wasn't expecting it to be so easy. My tension and irritation slowly began ebbing away and his office didn't seem so unpleasant anymore.

"That's it?"

He rose from his desk. "Why not?"

"Well...damn." an exhausted sigh escaped me before I could stop myself. "I got myself all worked up for nothing.."

He chuckled softly. "You're something else, Elena."

"Aren't we all? You're not that bad yourself, when you're not driving people insane." I shifted from foot to foot.

He had his back turned to me, looking out of the window with his hands clasped behind his back. "True."

"Though the driving people insane thing is a part of your charm....it depends on the person that's looking."

Flirting! I went from near- snapping to flirting in five minutes flat! He really does have an affect on me.

"Now...I feel a little awkward." I admitted. I did. Who wouldn't? The solution came so easily that I feel a little unsure of what to do next, other than leave. And I don't want to leave, not yet. Partly because I'll be returning to boredom in my office for at least one more day. Partly because I want to make sure that everything is _okay_.

"And why is that?" he turned around, leaning against the window. The sky cast a shadow on him and I vaguely wondered if it would rain this afternoon.

"Well...because I feel like I overreacted."

"Yes, but desperation can do that to even the most mild mannered of us." he watched me intently, his blue eyes never leaving my face. I found myself inching around his desk, closer to him without really thinking about it.

Soon I'm right in front of him looking up at him. Then kissing him with my back pressed to the cold glass window.

I left Rufus's office feeling much better than I did when I went in. I even stopped and apologized to Chaminade, though all that did was make her look horrified and think I was playing an evil sadistic joke on her. She'd better not let Reno get hold of her if she wants to keep the last strains of sanity she probably has intact. He can send her away in a straight jacket. I know this, I've seen Reno operate. The man is crazy. How does Rude cope with him? Maybe I'll ask Rude. I have lots of things to ask Rude. Rude's a pickle. Not like...an actual...pickle but..yeah. He's a pickle. Everything is a pickle. I should go thank Scarlet for letting me run into her and be her errand girl too. I'm just glad that I won't be running too many of those anymore since I had my little talk with Rufus.

I went through the rest of the day in a better mood, which Tseng noticed when I stopped by his office with a cup of coffee for himself and me. Two new flavors this time.

**-----**

When the guys appeared at my office door I was expecting them to bestow me with last minute extra-paperwork before they went out and got drunk or something for the night. I sighed and waited for them to pull out the stacks of paperwork. I saw myself sitting at my desk up until midnight getting most of it done, hearing Tseng leave and all that good stuff. But that's not what they asked at all, they wanted me to go out with them to drink and have fun n'stuff—Reno's words—unfortunately I turned them down. I suddenly didn't feel like doing much of anything other than going home, taking a long bubbly bath (Sara says it does wonders for the mind.) with all kinds of useless gels and beads and then curling up in bed and dreaming about Rufus. I got home early—which doesn't happen often—and switched on the light in my living room and sighed. I started a bath; stopped at the mirror and smoothed down my hair with a frown. I wonder how long that strand has been sitting up like that. Just as I was about to turn away the phone buzzed in my pocket.

I jumped and opened the phone, knowing that it just has to be Reno calling to convince me to join them. I turned off the water. The bubbles frothed on the surface, practically yelling at me to put the phone down and get naked. I looked away from the tub and back at my reflection.

"Reno I told you I didn't want to go." I straightened my tie. "And don't beg either, I have decided to just take a bath and go to sleep. I know that's boring in your world and that proves that I seriously have no life but that's okay right now. So don't even ask, I'm going to just be by myself, kay? You hear me Reno?"

"I hear you but I'm not Reno."

Ah!!

The phone almost slips from my fingers. "...Rufus?"

"You sound surprised." he is being sarcastic. His tone drops.

"Of course I'm surprised! It's not everyday that you call me. In fact, you've never called me. Ever. Not even on my PHS at work. Ever. You sound a little different over airwaves. "

"......"

"...........so........." I roll my eyes at my reflection feeling like a complete idiot.

There was a light laugh. Was he laughing for my sake or did he really find something worth laughing about? I hope it's the latter; I am trying not to be a fool right now.

"Elena, are you certain that you want to stay in tonight?"

I dug my toes into my carpet and bit my lip. Suddenly staying home and soaking in my own dirt didn't seem too enticing. "....well...no. What do you have planned?"

"Nothing actually, I just left the office."

I loosened my tie thoughtfully as it sunk in. "The great Rufus Shinra has nothing planned? What is the world coming to? An end?"

He chuckled. "Cute. I'm sure we could figure something out though, yes? The night is still young."

Having no plan seemed like a great plan to me. A couple of ideas ran through my mind and both seemed like bad ones. "Yeah I'm sure we could figure something out. I have a few ideas. I would just like to see you just because anyway. You were right about me going to Wutai for almost two days. I missed you terribly..."

Heat rushed to my face. I hope he got that as the joke I meant it and not like I was desperate and obsessed with him. Because I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not obsessed with anything but chocolate and...maybe on occasion...tiny clear objects but ….I mean. Obsessed with a person? No....I'm not. Oh I hope he doesn't think I'm some overbearing nut job...

"I did too, the feeling is mutual. I had to sit around boring people all day with no entertainment. Though, Tseng and I did have an interesting conversation"

Thank goodness. He got the banter. Of course he would though, he's Rufus Shinra. But wait...an interesting conversation with Tseng (not saying that's impossible but it's quite possible. He's...interesting)? About what I wonder? Is it too far fetched to think it was about me?

"Oh?"

"Yes." he continued on, not elaborating at all. "I'll be there in twenty minutes, meet me outside."

**

* * *

**

He is like a stealthy wind; he slips up behind me, encircling my waist, peering over my shoulder, the weight of his chin on it. Gladly I keep my rhythm, chopping up the most lethal of vegetables: onions. My hands are on automatic, my eyes are stinging and watering, my cheeks are burning. Chopping slicing, dicing, mincing, and grating are most of my duties tonight for I steered clear of doing too much because I didn't want to burn anything. He made the desert and bread; I did the salad and most of the main dish—I'm glad I can boil water and chop or this would be a one man show. He was done faster than me so he left to set up.

Honestly I'm surprised about two things: the fact that I can cook if I pay attention; and that Rufus actually doesn't mind slaving away in a kitchen (albeit how awesome his kitchen is).

I wouldn't have known this little tidbit about him had I not suggested that we cook and eat something ….

_Rufus joined me in the kitchen, I noticed his epic long white coat was now off. The black vest and other layers under it fit nicely to him I noticed with a blush. I looked away quickly and returned to the recipe book that was in the drawer to the left of the sink—as he'd told me before he left. He put a hand lightly at the small of my back and leaned in to look at what I was looking at. I was supposed to decide on what we'd eat since I came up with it. I didn't have any idea and the light smell of his cologne was making it a bit hard to think. I bit my lip and continued flipping through the thick recipe __book. Just as I was about to give up and let him decide, he put a hand on mine. I looked up at him, eyes wide, thinking he was about to kiss me or something. He wasn't even looking at me but at the page, his hair fell over his eyes. I looked down and removed my hand after he moved his. On the page was a beautiful colorful picture of some type of pasta. The only thing I noticed in it was cuts of zucchini. I looked over at him quizzically, worried that this would be too complicated for me. Then I read over the recipe. I can do pasta . There is a lot of cutting involved in this...I'll stick to what I know I can do. Who knows, I might just impress him with my mad skills. _

_He cleared his throat to get my attention again, I grinned. A small smile twitched on his lips, he shook his head and told me to continue on. And I did. We would need breadsticks, as my logic says, because they go with pasta like socks go with cold feet. And a salad maybe. And some kind of yummy desert that involved chocolate. Thats' what I found second. There was a pretty picture of two chocolate filled fancy glasses topped with some type of nut. Chocolate Hazelnut Mousse. I pulled the corner of the page down to mark it as a reminder only for Rufus to unfold the page with a small puff of air and mark it with place holders I hadn't noticed. I flushed. He chuckled lightly. We found sesame breadsticks and some arugula salad with mozzarella and black olives. He removed the respective pages from the recipe book and told me that we'd better get started. Then it hit me. Rufus is going to cook?_

_My suspicions were further confirmed when he rolled up his sleeves. I had to say something. In what world do I not say something?_

_"You...cook?" I couldn't seriously imagine him in a pink apron and hairnet. The hilarity._

_He stopped in the middle of opening a drawer and a smirk slowly grew on his lips. "Of course I do." he said matter-of-factly. "Do you think that all pampered brats can't fend for themselves?"_

_My face grew hot, I floundered. "Um..no..I just.."_

_He held up a hand, looking amused. I decided I should stop taking life so seriously._

_"....Sometimes I have hired help for...necessary things. Most of the time I'd rather not have strangers in my personal space." he explained simply._

_I nodded, pretending to get it, and helped him get the stuff ready. Then the thought came back when we got started on the desert first. Maybe that's why, I thought, that's why he'd rather not have people knowing about this whatchamacallit (?). Because it's not their business. Heh..._

_Maybe._

_He worked methodically, we bantered a bit, I smiled a lot. This is awesome, I thought. Rufus actually does know what he's doing in the kitchen too. He was already chilling our desert and baking the bread before I even finished cutting my first tomato. It's because I was staring at him the whole time, admiring his system and trying to figure out how his mind worked. He caught me staring, I blushed and went back to cutting, chopping faster until my hands became a blur and I got in the rhythm of it. That's when he left and told me he was going to set up the table._

_While he was gone I let my thoughts wonder and continued chopping up things and adding them to the simmering pasta......._

_And then here we are._

"I'm glad I decided to come out...." I admitted after he didn't say anything; I could feel his gaze on the side of my face. I wonder what he's thinking about it. About how I have blemishes?! Gah, I hope not.

"I'm glad I decided to call you." he concedes. I feel him brush my hair behind my ears, his lips ghost across my cheek.

Heat that has nothing to do with the baking and simmering goods rose in my face.

"...yeah..." I answer lamely. "Me too." I wish I had something more witty to say than that. Darn him and his mind-numbing powers! I look down at my hands and realize...I'm not cutting anything anymore, the blade is just thwacking against the cutting board. Everything is sliced and diced as it should be. The blade is incredibly close to mincing a bit of my fingers. I put the knife down and release a small sigh. "If you don't stop I might lose a hand."

"Hmm.." he replies, humored it would seem.

"It's true."

He releases me and helps put the remaining stuff in the pot with the pasta. It's hard to believe I'm here right now when just yesterday I was feeling very discontent. No, that's too mild a word. I think it's best to say that I wanted to kick something and rip out my hair..or kick him and rip out some of his.

Now...we wait.

"Well..." I wash my hands again hoping the onion smell is gone. "What...now? While the pasta finishes?"

He leans against the island in the middle of the kitchen and crosses his arms. "We wait..."

"I can do waiting." I mumble, thinking about my mantra for tonight as in : I can do pasta and salad. I can _so_ do boiling water. Which, after I kept chanting it to myself, got Rufus to stop what he was doing and look over at me.

I can only hope that he thought that was a little cute. That's what I'm hoping.

"Can we go out on the balcony for a while?"

He led the way, I followed.

I wish stars were out tonight but they aren't. They hardly ever are. But somehow the moon (full) always makes it through the clouds and oppressively black and gray sky and give some light to Midgar. Its silver glow bathed the second story balcony in light and created shadows. Also against the night sky was the tallest structure in Midgar, visible almost everywhere in the city, the ShinRa Tower. All of the lights were still on, as I knew it was still semi-busy. Even at night when the Turks might be gone home and the president leaves early. Even after that. I've never been called in after midnight but Reno and Rude have. The city around it, below it, sparkles like lesser stars with all of its never stopping artificial light.

I sit on the rail, with my back to the scene , and let the wind tousle my hair.

"What if I loose my balance?"

He looked at me, his frosty blue eyes illuminated by the moon. I want to hear his answer. I've been wondering if he'd be worried about my well being at all. Even if I am a Turk and _his_ well being is priority not mine. I knew if he were falling—hypothetically--I would instantly help. In fact, I wouldn't allow it in the first place. Question is, would I do it because it's my job or because I'm selfishly concerned because I don't want to have to deal with the stress of losing someone I....care ...about (Reno's words at Wutai). The jury's still out on that one.

"Hmm.." he doesn't answer. He just looks out at the moon again.

We have several good minutes before the pasta is done. Everything else is ready.

I wrack my brain trying to think of questions that he can't avoid an answer to. Only one comes up. The only one of course. The one that he never answers. I doubt my conclusion can be completely right. About privacy. I'm sure this is against rules even if he claims to make them. I'm not sure.

It's not like the answer would change anything.

"Rufus?" I laugh, realizing something. "heh. I call you by our name without hesitation!!" I clapped, almost loosing my balance. My hands grab the rails. "Whoa...hahhaa"

"Perhaps you should get down."

His eyes don't hold me with their thinly veiled command. His hand is around my wrist. He releases it but I smile anyway while hoping down.

He wouldn't let me if he can't stop it. Reflex? Or....selfishness?

"My question.." I grin at him.

His hair is wind tousled too. It's cute. It's unexpected like his willingness to cook and avoid a butt-kissing entourage every once in a while.

He caught my gaze and smoothed it down.

Still cute.  
"How do you live …." he closes the space between us, tips my chin up with a finger. "...with such unruly hair?" it seems like a rhetorical question.

My face grew hot. "I've never done a family tree to pinpoint the culprit DNA but a day doesn't go by when I wish I had yours."

There we go! Witty remark!

He chuckles. Then our mouths are together, his fingers are in my hair (smoothing it...?) and on my back. I'm still too paralyzed in these moments to do more than hold him and hope I am a decent kisser. We stay embraced after. I've never been a big fan of chilly winds and those are abundant up here. I rest my head on his shoulder. It's strangely...private. Not like at work or when we're actually out.

"Why do you like keeping..."

What to call it? Us? It? Whatchamacallit? Dat-errr-thang-wit-da-kissin'?

".....this a secret? Is it because you'd rather keep it private?"

Never mind the stress on a blabbermouth to keep something _this_ big a secret. And I can't even keep little secrets.

Rufus looked down at me. I notice two things: I'm not that much shorter than him (maybe it's the boots..) and he has a small light brown freckle near the outer corner of his lift eye. I've found a blemish, but it only makes him more perfect and interesting to look at. I wonder how many others he has? What about a birthmark? I'll have to know.

Like I have to know this. Is it about privacy or something else?

"Yes, Elena." he kissed me briefly. "And no."

We went back inside. Everything should be ready.

**-----**

"...you know...." I savored the thick chocolate melting away on my tongue. I'm actually surprised about how well I did in the kitchen tonight. Everything is going so well and I feel so relaxed and stuff..maybe releasing some frustration helped. "....I'm actually glad I decided to come out."

Rufus's lips turned up in something akin to a smile. It's not a smirk, I know. "You've said that three times and that was just in the past half-hour."

"Oh!" I blushed and grabbed my half-empty glass of wine. It tastes odd since my mouth is coated with chocolate mousse. "....um...hahah..well it still doesn't change the truth of it." I downed the rest of it and returned to the chocolate. "Maybe..." I shrugged loosely. "I wanted to make sure you remembered it."

I looked up to catch his expression. I met his gaze. He was watching me the whole time.

"Whut?" I feel a little self-conscious.

He shook his head, chuckling. "Nothing, Elena."

I looked around the dimly lit dining room before looking at him. "I wish I could read your mind."

"And where is the fun in that?" he challenged, raising one eyebrow. He looks cute like that. I want to lean across the table and pinch his cheeks or something.

"Hmm..I dunno. It would be nice though..."

One of his hands are free, it's resting on the table only a few inches from mine. My fingertips tingle with anticipation. I concentrate on what to say once I do it.

My hand is over his; he looks up at me, a small smirk appearing.

Say it!

"I don't really want to go home yet." I smile. I think.

Wait...no. That really doesn't sound right. It sounded better in my head! That sounds far too suggestive!

Silence.

He's about to say something but instead gently slides his hand from under mine and answers his phone that I didn't realize was ringing.

I'm torn between the desire to kick or hug whomever is calling. They just diverted what was sure to be a ...interesting reply. He stands up and walks around, listening to whomever. I want him to yell at the person. I sit there for a second until I feel odd. Not sure what else to do, I stand and reach for some dishes with the intention of cleaning up. He reads my mind and gestures. No, leave them. I leave the dining room empty handed and find my way back to the main room. The lights come on automatically once again, bathing it in artificial light. I find the switch, cut it back off, and sit on the couch.

The moon comes through the big floor-to-ceiling window that frames the sky and slides across the hardwood floors. I lay down on the couch, on my side and hang my feet off the side. I can hear Rufus talking nearby. Is he in the hall? Maybe I should sit up. Then he isn't talking anymore. Vaguely, I wonder if he's putting the dishes in t he dishwasher.

"Ahh..there you are." he crosses in front of me, mostly a shadow.

I think about sitting up again but before I can find the energy my upper half is raised with assistance and then lowered again. My head is resting on his lap. The moon doesn't have my attention anymore because my scalp is tingling from stimulation. His fingers are running through my hair effortlessly (what, no kinks?). It's..nice. They float down my arm and rest there for a moment.

….really nice.......

"......ready to go? Or can you not get enough of me?" he's being ironic I think. I can't tell. I don't feel like trying to. His fingers are in my hair again.

"....five more minutes...."

* * *

----

* * *

**Gw08**:_Hi everyone! I know this chapter is long overdue! Sorry about that! I had to rewrite it several times and figure out how to get where I was going with it. So, Now that summer break has started --way back in the early parts of May--, I should be able to update more often(provided I don't get writers' block again). Yay!! Second thing, we've reached 300 reviews ! So thank you guys. Though some of you may not believe it, your feedback is very helpful and keeps me motivated. It's nice that some of you take the time to leave comments. I'm especially grateful to the ones that leave constructive or insightful critiques. Every writer deserves some of that. While we're discussing reviews...in chapter 22 I stated that reviewer number 300 would get a gift. The gift was a 1 shot or an idea they give me involving any two FFVII characters. I've decided that instead of doing that, we'll celebrate 300 differently. Listen closely. Everyone is encouraged to Private Message me ideas for a 1 shot and/or a small scene in Flux. It will be dedicated to you. I will choose about 2 one shot ideas and 2 scenes for Flux. How does that sound? This will be open for about two weeks. Multiple entries are okay. You have to have an account to private message me and please don't use a review to submit an idea. Sound good? ^_^. I hope so._

_I know Chappter 22 wasn't so great, at least I don't think so. But I hope this one was! It also gave you a healthy dose of Rufus and Elena (without revealing much, you'll be getting another dose in the next chapter). Tell me about your thoughts, feelings, questions, comments in a review! _

_Happy Readings!_

_Goodwitch2008_

_P.S.  
_

_On another note. An anonymous user named Jessie ShinRa reviewed Chapter 21 and I just wanted you to know I'm not ignoring you I promise. Your email did not show up in the review and I couldn't tell you this because you are anonymous. Create an account or email my haoo. My username is my email. _


	24. A Slight Shift In Things

**Chapter 24**

A Slight Shift In Things

* * *

An earsplitting clap of thunder and a blinding light flashed across my eyelids, illuminating a strange unfamiliar view outside of a window. Shadows burst into view for a quick second. Thick blankets of rain obscured the city outside of a window; moon is a blurry silver circle. My heart rushed. I opened my eyes and sat up abruptly with questions running through my head. When did I fall asleep? I don't remember falling asleep. The last thing I remember was being with Rufus at his place resting on his lap. A soft groan meets my ears which takes me a second to realize it's from me. I fell asleep. But..did I wake up? When did he take me home. Something tells me that the answer to that is never. These sheets feel strangely expensive and silk, the bed is way too comfortable, and...these strange shapes...these shadows of furniture are oddly unfamiliar.

What happened?!

_Something happened!!_

Sucking in a breath, I ran a hesitant hand over myself to ensure I had on clothes. With a sigh of slight relief I slipped out of the bed.

_Nothing happened._

It's too dark in here.

I need to find Rufus. I need to find my way out of here and talk to him. I _need_ to. I have to go to work in the morning. What time is it anyway? It has to be late. When did it start storming like that? Where is the light switch? More importantly where is the door!? Why didn't he just wake me up?! This is so embarrassing, me falling asleep at Rufus's place in his lap?! Well..does that mean he carried me up here? Am I in his _bed?!_ And where is he?! I've _got_ to find Rufus..I've got to find him right now! He has got to take me home! Why didn't I drive here myself?!

"Where is the light switch---ahh!"

I ran into something and hopelessly lost my balance.

Instinctively I swung out my arms trying to hold on to something; a rush of pain ran through my head as I hit the floor, my legs and arms splayed out around me. Sharp needles poke at my skin all around and near me. _Glass_. Lightning flashes. That did not just happen!

Bright lights suddenly burn into my eyes, blinding me for a moment.

Then I am lifted to my feet and steadied.

I blink.

"...I see you are awake."

His hair is a bit unkempt and falling freely in his face. He's wearing long black pajama pants that sit loosely on his hips and—no shirt. At all. At....all. _No shirt_. My heart seemed to flutter in time with the thunder claps and flashes of lightening. My gaze traveled over him again slowly. I've never seen--I mean I admit to absentmindedly undressing him with my eyes every once in a while but I ....something about..._he has such a nice frame_...which is very apparent given the way his clothes fit him...so..._fit_--'s always-there smirk creeps up at the corners of his mouth as usual. He's holding me by my shoulders. I blushed.

I feel his fingertips under my chin and then I'm looking up at him. "My eyes are up here, Elena."

"I..I..I know...that..." I cleared my throat, and averted my eyes to the mess of colored glass on the floor near us. I winced inwardly. I broke that didn't I? "urm....what time is it?"

"Two forty-five A.M." he sounded so calm—and amused—that my heightened state seemed a little unnecessary. But can he blame me?! How would he feel if he woke up in this situation?!

"...I broke your thingie..."

He chuckled. "Yes. You did. Don't worry about it, I'll handle it. It was not important."

Rufus placed a hand to the side of my face and turned it back to him. I averted my eyes to the window; a storm is raging outside. Lightning flashed again, thunder rumbled, wind tossed around the rain in several different directions all at once.. "....oh...ok.."

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"A bit. I mean you're half naked....and..." I force myself to look into his face. "...hehe...nothing _happened_ right?"

My heart hasn't slowed down yet. If anything it's speeding up.

He chuckled softly and raised a brow. "What do you think?"

"Um.."

"Nothing happened." he released me.

"...I uh...sorry about that. Why didn't you wake me up?" I ran a hand through my hair. I feel so weird now that he's let me go. It was better having him to hold on to. Now my arms feel like they're two limp noodles at my side and my feet feel all exposed on his floor.

He crossed the room, gingerly stepping around the shards, and closed the curtains. "You looked so peaceful. Too beautiful to rouse." he looked at me over his shoulder while closing them.

I laughed softly. He can't be serious. "That's the biggest lie you've ever told me."

"I doubt it." he seemed like he muttered softly, turning away from the window.

"...I am not peaceful or beautiful when I'm asleep. I flail about, kick things, and usually mumble. I used to sleep walk y'know." I took a better look around the room. Now that the lights are on, I can recall what I saw during our 'tour' including the deck outside of double doors in his expansive room, which is currently being drenched in rain I bet. It's probably not wise for me to attempt getting home in weather like this and...I kinda don't want to. "You're lucky I didn't give you a black eye."

"Is that so?" he moved over to the bed and smoothed out the wrinkles my body had put in it. "I'll keep that in mind if there is a next time."

A smile tugged at my lips, I shoved my hands in my pockets and shifted from foot to foot. The glass shards were almost clear, with a slightly blue hue. I wonder what it looked like. It's a shame that I broke it really. I should at least pick it up.

Without thinking anymore about it, I got on my knees and grabbed a white cloth that was on the glass side table I'd knocked the vase off and started picking up the shards carefully and putting them on it.

"So.....I guess I'm gonna stay here..."

There was a crash of thunder and another flash of lightening. The rain seemed to get louder. I looked up at the ceiling.

There is no way in hell I'm going outside. In this weather?! I can see it now: I make Rufus go out in this weather and we're driving along, we crash, and he dies. Or worse, we get kidnapped by ninjas. Then what? That's not very good protection skills for me isn't it? It's my job to protect him..so...I can't ask him to drive me home. And honestly I don't want to go home. I don't want to look back on this morning and be like ..."What if I'd stayed?" so I'm going to stay.

Rufus looked out of a window, opening the curtain and peering out into the rain. ".....we'll straighten out the minor details..."

There is no way I'm going outside in that.

_**----**_

One of the minor details was black and hung loose on my shoulders and stopped somewhere around my bare legs. I fumbled with the buttons in the mirror again, trying to get them right this time instead of missing a few.. The black buttons practically faded into the long sleeved over sized top. I just wish I could get the buttons right. The last thing I want is for the top two buttons to be open, thus revealing _extra _bare skin and potentially a little bit of the ladies. They are not _willing to be introduced_. Heck, when I'd stepped out of the shower and saw that folded in place of my clothes I'd blushed, knowing I'd be wearing something of his.

".......hmmm.." I ran a hand through my hair. Still damp. "...hmm..." I unbuttoned the first button and the last. "Better."

A streak of light flashed dangerously behind me in the mirror. I looked over the room again. Rufus provided me—one of the other minor details—with a guest room a few doors down from his study. While the bed looks very comfortable, I doubt I'm going to actually succeed in sleeping well in it. For one thing, it's storming outside and thunder will startle me awake very fast and for another thing, it's hard for me to sleep in an unfamiliar place. Isn't that hard for anybody? One could refute that and ask how was I able to fall asleep in Rufus's lap then? I refuse to answer that because I don't know why. Maybe because it wasn't on purpose?

There is another clap of thunder; vaguely I wonder what Rufus is up to. Is he asleep? Did he return to his late-night work in his study? Is he wondering if I'm asleep yet? A flash of lightening follows quickly afterward. I went over to one of the nearest windows and push the curtains apart. The sky is scarred with thick gray clouds; the moon is almost invisible beneath the blanket of rain pounding against the glass. I stare at it a while, looking past myself reflected against it wondering what Tseng is up to or Reno or Rude.

I crawled into bed and laid flat on my back with my hands clasped. I closed my eyes and concentrated on listening to the thunder rumble overhead and trying to will myself to sleep in this unfamiliar room, with this unfamiliar bed, in this unfamiliar pajama shirt listening to a storm.

It hasn't rained in a while. The last time it rained I was locked out of my car and Rufus drove me home. That was just the beginning wasn't it? Of our...this...uh...thing. Then I was so shocked that Rufus Shinra offered to take me home...if I knew then what I know now—that I'd be spending the night at his place—I probably would have hyperventilated and/or died. Or at least fainted. What if a future me –the current me?--had come into the past—which would have been the...present?--and said that?! And...what if a current future me (?) comes into the past (my current present?) and tells me that Rufus marries me and we have triplets named Reno, Rude, and Tseng?!

"....I'm insane..." I snorted softly, rolling over on my side facing the door.

The storm continued on, pounding against the ceiling. Occasional flashes of lightening would illuminate the walls briefly, accompanied with a rumble of thunder. Time seemed to seep by slowly. Several times I closed my eyes and fantasized about random scenarios or I forced my mind to be blank. Every time my eyes would get heavy an urgent thought would blast into my head. Like what am I going to do about getting into work in the morning without anyone noticing that I came in with Rufus?

_I can't sleep._

I tossed and turned trying various positions...

Eyes closed; the thundering rain is unbearable, the sheets are too this or that, my feet tingle, my legs aren't straight and lying on my side isn't working. Eyes open; on my back lightening juts out viciously across the sky, temporarily blinding me. I feel oddly exposed and I always have lucid dreams in this position. Eyes closed with back turned to the window; the clock ticks threateningly telling me to sleep or pay the consequences at work. The sound of my own breathing annoys me. Eyes closed, on my stomach. It is uncomfortable. Eyes closed, original position; I'm wide awake and hungry. My stomach growls and clenches. Zucchini pasta was ages ago. I need something to hold on to. Eyes closed, arms around two decorative pillows, fetal position. A thunder clap jars me from my comfort-ish-ness.

I kicked something.

Everything on the nearest bedside table crashes to the floor with a chorus of thuds, shattering, and—the alarm clock malfunctions as it too hits the floor. Argh!

_Beep beep beep beep..._

"Ragh!" I slide to the edge and lean halfway off the bed, twisting into an odd position.

_...beep beep beep. Beep bee--_

I slam it back onto the side table and hope he heard none of that. I turned away from the mess I'll fix tomorrow and hummed softly a song that was on the radio yesterday morning. Something about pepper spray or something. Anything to help me fall asleep.

_I bet he's asleep..._

With a sigh I slid out of bed, tugging the shirt down. I feel my way into the hall without turning on any lights. My bare feet are cold against the floor; all I can make out is fuzzy outlines here and there. For a second I reach for the nearest hall sconce but decide against it, right before plowing into a hall table.

"Gah!" I hissed and held the table steady. I don't get the point of stuff like this in the hall. Is it to see how fast a person can break their neck on one of they're in the dark or in a hurry?!

I knocked softly on his bedroom door. Why am I doing it? What if he's asleep? I opened it halfway. Lightning flashed just in time for me to see that he wasn't. _Why am I looking for him?_

Closing the door, I headed further down the hall. A beam of light is shining across the floor looking from under the doors to his study. _Why am I not surprised?_

Hesitating only for a moment I gently pushed the door open.

For a split second I expect to find him asleep at his desk all sprawled out on random papers with his hair all over his sleeping face and a pen limp in his writing hand. Instead, Rufus is sitting up at his desk looking over something spread over it. A slight frown creased his brow and his hair fell over his face; he moved it. There is a pen in his left hand, which he was moving between his fingers. He doesn't look up to indicate that he knows I'm here; he continues to read over whatever that is. Unconsciously, I draw skin from my bottom lip into my mouth and nibbled at it. I feel like I'm invading.

Thunder rumbled. I hesitated then backed up into the hall and shut the door gently.

I found myself heading past "my" room and to the head of the stairs which curved down to the first floor.

Down here the rain is a little bit muffled; It makes me think of millions of tiny fists beating on the roof. I feel a little weird waltzing around his apartment in his stuff and what not. If someone had told me a few months ago that I'd be spending a night at Rufus's penthouse and wearing his top and touching his soaps and what not I probably would have punched them and given them a permanent black eye. But nope, here I am in his kitchen staring out of a window and clutching a glass of water.

Fat droplets of rain slam themselves against the window over and over again, making the city look like smudgy blotches of light. The moon is almost completely obscured. Lightening shoots across the sky again, and breaks up before disappearing into clouds. Thunder claps overhead. I lean really close to the window; my breath makes a fog circle. Another flash of lightening brightens up the clouds for a moment and almost blinds me.

I lifted the glass to my lips and took a sip.

A small smile twitched on my lips. _This is kinda nice. _I closed my eyes; the window is cold against my forehead.

…_...._

…_........_

"Elena? What are you doing down here in the dark?"

I don't answer straight out. For a second I think it's in my head, and that I've imagined him up behind me with his arms around my waist. I straighten out my stance and the glass almost slips from my fingers. His tone is soft and warm against my ear.

"...um...I couldn't sleep...."

"Hmm...me either..."he says. I feel his arms tighten slightly around me.

I lean against him. "...I know...I... saw you working."

He chuckled softly. "So I wasn't imagining that."

"Heheh no..."

We're silent for a while; the storm continues to dance across the sky. A thought crosses my mind: does he have insomnia or can he not just sleep because I'm here? Heheh..

"Umm....do you stay up working often?"

"Occasionally..."

"Do you have insomnia?" I ask, letting my gaze drop into my glass. It's hard to see in the dark. Lightning flashes again. "Or...?"

"No. Simply don't see the purpose in wasting time resting."

"..really? If I don't get to sleep I usually get crazy." I admitted. "How many hours do you usually get?"

"I get enough...." he replied in an offhand manner. I felt his lips against the side of my face.

My cheeks grew warm and suddenly I'm not paying much attention to what's going on in front of me. Somehow the glass is slipped from my hand—for a second I expect a crash—and I hear it being placed on a nearby surface.

"Rufus....tell me something about yourself that I don't know."

Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll tell me something I can go to sleep thinking about.

"I think you have lovely brown eyes."

"....thank you...hehehe..gosh...um..so why don't you stop trying to charm me and answer the question?"

"I did."

"Rufus come on...I don't know anything about you. Not anything that I wouldn't already know or could look up in some newspaper or something...."

"....Elena, really..it's pointless. Knowing random trivia wouldn't help you _know_ me. Just like knowing your little character ticks won't help me _know _you. Not really."

"...what character tics? I...I thought they weren't obvious."

"You fidget when you feel awkward or uncomfortable, you bite your lips or nails when nervous, your brow furrows deeply and you get an attractively defiant pout when you are trying to think. You look down at the ground when you feel extremely self-conscience or intimidated. You mess with your hair also when you are nervous or feeling uncomfortable. Your eyes turn into mud puddles when you are hopelessly frustrated. Your fists clench tightly and you set your jaw when you're determined--"

"Oh..oh oohkay shoot. You notice a lot."

"Of course. Naturally."

Lightening shot across the sky; I felt myself get turned around and his lips covered mine.

"Wait..." I pulled away and looked up at his shadowy figure. Lightning flashed again, across his frosty blue eyes. "...hehe...I have one more question."

"And that would be?" I can just imagine him smirking in the dark.

It's an age old question. One that I'm not really sure I've gotten a real answer to. "Why me?"

"...hmm...I wonder that sometimes myself."

"Oh..?"

"Mmhmm..."

He kissed me again.

* * *

My last thought and the subject of my dreams from last night was that I hoped we'd wake up cuddling or something. Maybe I'd catch him watching me sleep and the sun would cast a halo around his form and make his hair glow. That he'd be brushing back my hair and smiling and say something really awesome like "good morning my sweet beautiful...buttercup". Okay scratch that. That would just be wrong. But I wasn't exactly right. Instead I was awakened by a gentle shake by not a shirtless Rufus Shinra but a fully dressed one. For a second I thought I was asleep in the conference room and he woke me up because he was sitting nearest me. I almost expected to look around and see the faces of my colleagues and the executives staring at me like 'wtf is her problem'? Then I realized it was the bedroom. The sun wasn't out so there also was no glow, the sky was angry and gray looking and it was hard to tell what time it was. Until I looked at the clock. He goes to work earlier than I do. I mean that's what happens when you sleep in the President's house. I'd searched his face for a second, still disconcerted and he looked down at me, hair falling in his face. After the third time he called my name I sat up and almost knocked him out. Seriously. I sat up too fast and bumped his forehead.

What happened that was expected though was that when we made it outside with drizzling rain sliding down his windshield those skinny city trees were toppled, leaves were strewn in the street, puddles of water filled up the cobbled roads, and the sky looked two seconds from opening up a second helping. Heck, from the way it was looking—and still is looking—I would not be surprised if it snowed. I also got surprising news about something that had slipped my mind: I'm moving soon to a new building nearer headquarters. He informed me of it as an afterthought as we got out of his car.

What was totally worth getting up three hours earlier in the morning was seeing the look on the lady on the ground floor's face—ahem _Edna_—when we walked in together. There is nothing scandalous about seeing the President and a Turk walking inside together, she was just shocked to see him at all. I'm under the impression that he doesn't take the main doors often. It was great not hearing her comment on the weather. I found myself wondering who's at her desk when her shift is over.

The HQ only had half the life it usually has because at night less people are on duty. Though, Turks are technically always on call we too get off duty but I have yet to see an off day for myself (unless someone snarkily counts all of the days I've spent almost being bored to tears behind my desk). Anyway, somehow though there was a steady stream of people entering and exiting the building, we found ourselves alone on an elevator that didn't stop for anybody. I'd smiled to myself after being reminded of the other time we'd ended up together in an elevator. He was concentrating on the numbers and I was concentrating on not concentrating on him. And not being ill. Honestly, while I still don't care for elevators I don't really feel the effects of them anymore. Tseng was right; I've become accustomed to them.

When the elevator stopped at my floor, something came over me to break the thin veil of silence we'd been sporting since we entered the H.Q and I pulled him halfway out of it (by his clothes none the less..what has gotten into me?!) and kissed him good right there. It was only after he stepped back onto the elevator and I was watching the numbers light up that I realized that someone could have very well saw that. Then I got paranoid. To make matters worse, Rude popped up behind me—sans Reno—and when I asked him where he came from he said he'd had an early morning assignment and that right now Reno was probably still asleep at the apartment, sleeping off a 'wild night of drinking'.

Which he was compelled to rehash to poor Rude and I the entire time we were at lunch with him.

It's the first time I've been to lunch with them in a few weeks so—in Reno's words—to celebrate we went to a fast food restaurant and got stuff that ShinRa doesn't put on its menu.

It is the sound of me trying to suck the last remnants of soda through a straw that starts Reno off again.

"...and so that's when Rude has to get a call from the H.Q. Tellin' him that something happened—which makes me wonder why security detail didn't handle it themselves—and to come check it out. Turns out it was a false alarm down in one of the above ground basements. It's possible that the storm tripped something off and maintenance is gonna have to fix it."

"Might not have been." Rude flung his own cup into a nearby trashcan before following me onto the elevator.

"...Reno...question..." I chewed on my straw. "Why were you hitting on all of those girls and stuff if you're so interested in Sara?"

At the restaurant he hit on several of the female employees, including one that I'm pretty sure had only been in puberty for like two years, and several of the customers. They fawned all over him.

"Sara?"

"Yeah Sara. The really nice girl from the Weapon's Department that tells me you aggressively pursued her until she gave in to your advances." I nudged Rude. "Remember that?"

He laughed softly. "Yes I remember that. Explain yourself, Reno."

Rude is awesome. I like him more and more every day. Don't get me wrong, Reno's cool too but Rude wouldn't try to seduce me in a Wutainese hotel room nor would he pester me (and trick me into looking off so he can steal my fries ) and ruffle my hair until it looks like I got into a fight with a brush and lost.

Reno scoffed and punched the button to our floor. "I ain't explainin' anything. Sara's playing hard to get."

"What you mean is she won't go out with you again." Rude smirked.

"Now that you mention it..." I scratched my hair in faux thoughtfulness. "Sara did say something about how you ruined the entire date because you stiffed her on the bill and ran off with the waitress."

"That's a lie and you know it." Reno poked me hard on the arm.

"Ouch..." I rubbed away the sharp stab of pain and continued to chew my straw. "Fine it is. Honestly she doesn't bring you up ever. I was wondering what that was about."

"Trust me. She won't go out with him again." Rude assured me.

Rude is awesome and since I've gotten him to talk more often to me that makes me awesome too.

"I can get her to go out with me again, trust me. No one can resist me. Even Elena foams at the mouth when I'm not lookin'"

The elevator doors slid open.

"What?! That's so not true!"

I mean sure I did stare a little...or something...when he was...but still. It's not my fault that I have a weakness for half naked men. But still it's not true.

Rude stepped out first. Reno followed, cackling. I stormed after him, he's not going to pin that one on me.

"Reno don't go spreading rumors that I foam at the mouth over you--"

" Anyway!" Reno put his hand in my face despite my demands. "It has nothing to do with her not wanting to go out with me again. 'sides, maybe she wants to go out with the gentler sex."

"What?! Now you're calling a lesbian?"

"No I'm calling _you _a lesbian, Elena." Reno snorted. "I dunno..it would explain a few things..." he was now walking backwards toward his office. "Like how you're so secretive these days, how you keep disappearing to lunch with someone, and how you were asking us about romance a few months ago but wouldn't reveal who this so called guy was. Maybe Sara is your girlfriend and she won't allegedly go out with my awesomeness again because she wants you for dinner instead."

"Oh my gawd! That is so warped! Do you even believe what you're saying?!"

I flung my empty cup at him. He danced out of the way.

"Okay okaay.." Reno held in a laugh and put his hands up in surrender just before I reached him to put my hands around his neck. "Rude what do you think? Think my theory is plausible?"

We looked to Rude. He sighed and crossed his arms.

"I think you already know your theory is bull." a smirk twitched at his lips. "And knowing you..you'd like the thought."

"Like hell I would. That'd be hot." Reno agree enthusiastically and then disappeared into his office and shut the door talking about he has something important to do.

"....."

I jumped. "Haha Rude, I almost forgot you were still here."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing." Rude walked ahead of me a little bit. "Elena, I wanted to...talk to you about something.."

His tone changed. I bit my lip. "Like what?"

He shook his head. "Let's discuss it later."

"But what if I'm busy or what if I don't see you until tomorrow or something?"

"You'll see us again tonight."

"I will?"

Rude disappeared into his own office.

"........" I stood there and crossed my arms. "Enough with the cryptic...unanswered...popping up out of no--"

My cell phone rang.

_**-----**_

"Thank you again sir for this...if it weren't for this I'd probably be stuck at my desk making sticky-note dresses for my pens..."

The sky was dark gray and full of thick clouds threatening more rain. Water splashed on my boots as I stepped into a puddle on the way to a helicopter waiting on us. I am reminded of my rainy morning with Rufus and felt a twinge and a blush on my cheeks. Tseng is beside me, his phone talking to none other than the President. He'd informed me on the elevator what the assignment was about. Apparently, Cloud and his friends have gotten their hands on the Keystone and Cait Sith had managed to get it from them without them noticing. Now we're going to retrieve it so we can see what the Temple of Ancients can do for us. Cloud and his friends are at the Gold Saucer. He told me I'd be doing the flying.

While I'm glad to be doing this with Tseng I can't help but be aware of the fact that Reeve has been doing more than me just from controlling a robotic cat from a distance and deceiving the entire group while I have done nothing but a whole lot of time wasting.

".....you're welcome I guess." he flipped through a file in his lap. "....did you just say you would be making dresses for your pens?"

"Haha...can we forget I just said that?" I looked back at the sky around us. It was getting brighter the further we went but it was obvious the storm was traveling this way.

"...I already have."

A grin tugged at my lips, "Thank you..." ,but quickly became a yawn that couldn't be stifled.

"Tired?"

"Um....." I admitted sheepishly. "I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Had a lot on your mind?"

I felt his gaze on me but didn't meet it for fear I'd blurt out all kinds of truth if I did. Or get lost in all that awesomeness. _I have got to get over him. _"...a little bit, sir."

"Did you sleep well sir?" I asked lightly. I feel increasingly transparent the longer we fly as if he's probing my brain. Like I'm being interrogated in a really cold metal room with double sided mirrors and three men in suits, one with long hair, one with no hair, and one with red hair. They're equally menacing but in different ways. How can I explain? How can I justify where I was? Do I reveal my secrets? Would the three men believe the girl with no life? The girl who is perpetually single? What if my alibi fell through? What if the man on the other side of the glass with the piercing blue eyes that dare to break the thick mirror denies it all and says he's never even met me before? Let alone invited me to his house, cooked with me, and then talked with me as I fell asleep for five and a half hours?! What will I do--

"Elena, are you okay?"

My knuckles are white and I have a death-grip on the steering panel. My teeth are firmly in my bottom lip. I can feel tension tightening every inch of my body.

"Um...yeah." I tried to relax. "Yes, sir. Just worried about crazy stuff that there's really no need to be worried about. Just..y'know...stuff. Just the crazy stresses of a crazy stupid paranoid girl." I shrugged. "So..um..did you sleep well?"

I can't look at him. He'll be able to read my mind!

"....more or less. Considering..." he answered. _Considering?_

We fell into a quiet silence. I concentrated on flying as the scenery changed and the sun began setting in the horizon. He looked out of the window, I can only imagine what he's thinking about. We got within a mile of our destination—The Gold Saucer—before I found something to talk about.

"Tseng?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing."

"....no. Go ahead say it."

I finally looked at him; he's watching me. The sun hits his eyes in a way that makes them stand out beautifully under his dark lashes. So pretty..and brown.._ahem_.

"I was um." I look ahead again. "Well...I was just thinking how it must suck to be lied to. And think about the stress it might play on the liar provided they're not a pathological sociopath bent on their goal and only their goal. And I'm not--"

"You want to know what I'm thinking?"

"That I'm going off on a spiraling tangent with no end in--"

"Yes." he cut me off. "Though..." he seemed thoughtful. " I can't help but wonder what made you think about that?"

"I dunno...it's just that Cloud and his friends have trusted Reeve's robot and now it's about to betray them. It sucks a little for them."

"Hmm..I guess you're right. But then again they were the ones stupid enough to trust a mysterious robotic cat on top of a giant pink Moogle."

"True. Fair enough..haha..." I felt a strong urge to chew my nails. "So what's your take on uhm...lies?"

"Sometimes they can be necessary."

"Hmm...how would you feel if someone you trusted unintentionally accidentally on purpose deceived you about something that really shouldn't be that big a deal?" I peeked at him from the corner of my eye.

He was looking ahead, a slight frown crossed his brow. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. And you shouldn't either."

"Right you are sir...so um...where are we going to land?"

"We won't be. This should turn out to be a very simple operation."

"Oh. Sounds good. Though I have to admit, I wouldn't have minded punching someone a little..."

Tseng chuckled. I grinned and returned to flying. Tseng started talking to someone on his phone and it didn't take long for me to realize it was Reeve. He asks him exactly where he would be so we could swiftly retrieve the key and get away before any retaliation could be sought. With a nod and a 'sir' I flew us over the sprawling theme park (fighting a giggle at the thought of Rufus outrunning Moogles here as a child—which I'm determined to believe is why he hates the place—while trying to fly and be serious is hard) and had us hover down at an exit to one of the game areas.

Within seconds a robotic black and white cat came bouncing along down the stairs on that huge Moogle. I could just see that permanent smile on its face while it was doing something so diabolical, though I'm not able to see much. Cloud and several of his friends are in close pursuit but the cat tossed the item to Tseng—they literally met halfway because the Cait jumped and Tseng was hanging down from the 'copter—and then it it's over. Very simple is an understatement but it is still oddly satisfying.

"Well done, yes?" Tseng flashed a self-satisfied grin my way (oh dear am I blushing?) while strapping himself back in. The keystone was wrapped up in a brown cloth.

"Yes indeed sir. So..that key will let us enter the Temple I keep hearing so much about?" I glanced at it.

"Yes."

I opened my mouth to reply but instead a very vocal yawn escaped. I blushed and stared ahead. "..sorry.."

"Elena, it'll be a generally long flight back. How about I fly and you rest a little?" he asked; I'm grateful he didn't laugh at my ugly yawning. Ick.

"Sir...I..I couldn't." I insisted despite my body yelling at me to take him up on that offer. Though I might have spent the night in one of the most comfortable beds I've ever been in I didn't sleep well. It's hard to sleep well in a strange place. I'm just happy I didn't wake up every hour. A small little...nap wouldn't hurt. Maybe not even a nap, just me having my eyes closed would be great. But I can't do that. That's unprofessional. Tseng's testing me isn't he! He's testing me to see if I'll take the bait or not!

"Whatever you say." he answered. Tseng got his phone out and called. "Rufus.."

After that I paid more attention to what I was doing than what he was saying to Rufus. I could just see him on the other end, in his white suit doing something important looking all blue eyed and sinister and .._.hot_. Heat rushed in my face and I bit my lip.

I wonder if Reeve ever wanted to tell the others that he was deceiving them the entire time.

* * *

My eyes are heavy, they are hurting, and I can bet that red little lines are popping up in them because of the strain. I'm out of the coffee that Tseng was so super-duperliciously awesome to bring me along with news that after I finished my report and delivered it to his office I could leave early and have the rest of the evening off. At this point I wish I had taken Tseng up on his offer to let him do the driving (especially after I almost hit a flock of birds). I'm grateful that Reno and Rude are away on assignment or at least aren't bothering me so I don't have to worry about unexpected surprises. Like earlier when we first got back and Reno ran in screaming and waving his arms wildly and startled me to the point of falling out of my chair and then assumed a calm demeanor and walked out like nothing happened.

With a triumphant sigh, I cross my I's and dot my T's and print out the report. All I want to do is go home and hug my pillow and maybe night-daydream about Rufus until I fall asleep in my own bed. Thankfully, my efficient detail-oriented whatchamacallit had some ( the following is Roslyn's words, which she told me dryly as soon as we returned. Tseng didn't question it) peons deliver my car to the grounds as well as my spare keys.

The parking lot was empty was and bathed in spots of light every few rows. I fingered my keys and headed for my parking space. When I reached the car I paused. The ShinRa tower caught my eye. The lights all the way at the top are on. I wonder what Rufus is doing up there right now. Is he thinking of me? Working out something? I touch my lips gently and blush, remembering how yesterday I barged into his office and we ended up with my back against the window and a light scent of his cologne on my suit for the rest of the day.

"Hmm..."

The wind rustled and I picked up the faint sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. Instantly I whipped around to see a ShinRa worker strolling briskly by and chattering on his cell phone.

"...I don't care Lillian...no. She's trying to get over on you like she used to on her..."

His voice faded as he disappeared around the corner.

"......heh.." I chuckled to myself and wondered who Lilian could be. "Sleepiness has me paranoid..." I unlocked my car and pulled the door open.

"_NOW!!"_

Suddenly my vision faded into black. Panic rose. I reached for my gun only to feel it plucked from my hand and its parts clattered to the ground right before my arms were pinned immovably behind my back. I flailed and twisted violently. _Who is this?! _I sunk my elbow into a firm chest. A man grunted and the grip loosened. I turned blindly, straining to hear. I swung and narrowly missed again and again. Metal creaked. Arms wrapped around me; paralyzing my own. A scream echoed. _Is that me?_ Is that..._laughter?_

My mind rushed; I lost contact with the ground and kicked wildly, trying to hit anything. _There are two of them. Focus. _Abruptly I came in contact with a soft surface and a confined space. Metal creaked, there was a laugh. Then the world muffled and seconds later it vibrated and there was forward movement and squealing tires. _A trunk. My _own _trunk._

_I need a plan._

Wasting energy moving blindly in the dark isn't smart. These guys know how to fight so I'll need to wait, at least until they stop the car. They thought ahead. They knew what I was going to do. They _know_ me. Otherwise the knife I have in my trunk wouldn't be gone and they would be out cold on the ground. Nowhere in a scenario like this should I be in a trunk being carted off to who knows where. But..why in the world would they be stupid enough not to tie my legs and arms up? Or at least cast another ailment spell on me other than just a blinding one..._hmmm..._

I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. _Could this be linked with.....something else?_

The tires squealed and I slammed into the back wall of the trunk. We've stopped. The trunk unlocked and opened.

Everything is fuzzy shadows but my vision is coming back.

"Ahh!!" I sprung from the trunk and jumped on the first fuzzy black figure. "YOU BASTARD!"

….Only to be pulled back as soon as me and the figure hit the ground....

"LET ME GO! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"...hahaha chill out..."

_Laughter..._

"Hahahahah!!!"

The dots in my vision come back startlingly fast. Getting up off the ground is a red haired little devil.

_Reno. _

The other person released me, I whipped around. _Rude._

"...what in the hell?!" Are they trying to kill me?!

"Chill." Reno snorted behind me. "Uh oh watch it Rude she's gonna hit you."

I missed Rude by an inch, he stepped out of the way and I stumbled from the force.

"Let us explain.." humor laced Rude's voice. He adjusted his sunglasses.

"This was all Reno's doing wasn't it." I rounded on Reno. I'm confused and I want to hit one of them.

He held up his hands in mock surrender. The evil smirk answered my question. "Of course it was. But hey...if you chill out..." he closed the space between us—close enough for me to strangle him. "...we want to show you something. We have a surprise for you."

He wrapped his arms around me, pinning mine to my sides and hugged me close. Laughing the entire time.

"Stop stop stop! Lemme go you dirty bastard!" I wriggled.

And wriggled.

And he didn't let me go.

With a sigh I stopped. I'm curious. "...okay...say I don't try to kill you as soon as you let me go. What's the surprise?"

Reno released me. " Okay Rude, hand them to her...she's not murderous anymore."

Rude tossed something to me. I caught it.

"Keys?"

"Yep. To your new place..we're in the same building now."

"What?!"

"And there goes the shrieking." Reno winced. Is my shrieking really that bad?

Before I could make any sense of this, Reno grabbed my wrist and pulled me along into a building I've never seen before. Rude followed. We stepped onto an elevator and he pushed a button.

"Reno explain..." I crossed my arms and leaned against it. "What do you mean my new place?"

"You didn't know?"

I fell silent. Now that I think about it, Rufus did mention today that I would have to move closer than the sector I was in but I hadn't really thought about it after that. I don't like surprises. Well okay I like surprises when they don't involve me being shoved into a trunk by Reno and his accomplice Rude.

"....I sorta knew ..I guess.... but...why did you kidnap me?"

"Oh..hahha...we just wanted to piss you off." he shrugged.

"No. _Reno _just wanted to piss you off." Rude chimed in.

"That's a dangerous game to play..." I warned. It is! I could have done things..to them.

"Is it?" Reno cocked an eyebrow and put his hands on his hips looking comically perplexed. "Didn't notice. I mean between your girly screams and flailing around...I'd say you didn't put up too much of a fight. At what point between those girlish screams were you going to proceed to kick our asses?"

The elevator stopped. They strolled out, I followed. I prodded Reno sharply in his back.

"You blinded me!"

"Still. You sucked a little.." he shrugged at me.

"Gah!"

Deciding it's pointless to argue because he'd get a kick out of it, I asked how he got a hold of my new keys. He explained in so few words that when he got wind of my moving he took it upon himself to commandeer the keys from the messenger before the messenger could reach me. Then they planned the kidnapping. We stopped at the end of a long hall at the door embossed with three gold numbers.

"Was this really necessary guys? It'll just be a bunch of empty rooms."

Despite saying it, excitement rushes through me and the kidnapping is forgotten. I turned the key, there was a click of several tumblers. Reno pushed the door open for me.

"....damn..." escaped my mouth.

Just empty rooms my butt!

My mouth fell open.

The entire living room is furnished and could quite possibly swallow my other living room whole. The furniture is brand new way better than my old furniture (though I vaguely wonder what has happened to it). It's all black. This is the first time I've had furniture in a place that actually is part of an original set. There is an archway where I can see a kitchen that could also swallow my other kitchen whole.

"Well go look.."

I felt a nudge and then a punch on my shoulder. I stumbled inside onto the carpet and looked back at them to see they'd already walked in. Reno turned on the big flat television and started making comments about how mine is a few inches bigger than there's and thus I'm lame. Rude sat down in a chair and cleaned his glasses. I left them in the living room and walked into the kitchen in a daze.

Yes. It can definitely swallow the other one whole. And...the floors are a nice brown wood instead of evil..evil linoleum. While I'm a bit surprised about this and should be concerned about the wellbeing of my things and if pervs touched my clothes and underwear, I can't help but be happy about this right?

I wandered around the entire apartment which consists of two bedrooms (both completely furnished and the bigger one has all of my personal items already neatly in appropriate places...I hope the movers weren't perverts..), a bathroom that could swallow my old bathroom but would get a tummy ache, and--

"Oh my gosh!! A real balcony!!" I didn't believe my eyes as I returned to the bigger bedroom and noticed a sliding glass door showing off the city lights. How did I miss this the first time?!

I slid the door open and stepped out into the cool night air. There was round glass table and four matching chairs. The storm left the night sky as a mixture of gray and black. It was cloudy out.

_This is so..._

"WOOOHOO!!" I jumped on the rails and waved around. "HELLO WORLD! WOOOO!!HOO!!!"

"I told you she's crazy."

Reno was leaning against the door frame shaking his head and fighting a grin. Rude was laughing silently. I blushed and jumped down from the rail.

"No I'm not, you shouldn't sneak up on people during private moments!" I ran a hand through my hair; the heat continued to rise into my face. "So..."

"We're your neighbors."

…_....._

…_........._

…_................_

"I just realized that..."

How am I supposed to feel about that? Part of me is very happy with that thought while the other part is afraid Reno will figure out my best hiding spot for my spare key and break in and then I'll wake up with my hand in warm water and my pants wet. Unpleasant.

"...oh...you are?"

"We live on the other end of the hall.." Rude answered simply.

Reno nodded. I caught a devilish smirk cross his lips.

Oh no..I think he's already figuring out ways to torture me. I might have to find a cleverer spot to put my spare key than in the sconce outside of my door. That's where I usually put them.

"Well this will be...fun...I guess."

"Sara lives seven blocks from here." Reno interjected.

"...you would know that...." scratched my hair.

"Yep. I just sent Rude out to go get her. She's in the living room admiring your bookshelf." Reno shrugged.

Wait...what?

"Reno how in the ...why..?"

He shrugged. "We decided that an extra guest would make things funner. C'mon.."

Before I could say anything, Reno grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me along to greet Sara.

_**-----**_

We end up ordering Wutai takeout and hanging out on my (it's mine it's all mine!!) balcony and chatting and laughing. Just as the warm fuzzy feelings start up in my heart it starts raining. First it's little warning drips then it becomes an all out downpour (though nowhere near as bad as last night) and we ran back inside laughing. Our evening is cut short but we don't mind. We're a bit buzzy off of rice and soda. Sara borrows my umbrella saying she'll head home before the storm really gets going but Reno insisted on taking her home. He said they had some private things to talk about and she wasn't getting off the hook that easily. I gave her a look and a raised eyebrow. She mouthed something apologetically at me and shrugged. After they left Rude helped me clean up the cartons and stuff.

It's not until after he leaves and I'm curled up in fetal position in my new bed trying to sleep that I realize something....

Rude never told me what he wanted to talk about.

* * *

----

* * *

_**GW08: So I have quite a bit to say. Where should I start? Remember the celebration for 300? Well only about four people actually submitted ideas. If you guys are trying to think up stuff I'm willing to wait until the second week of August before choosing one or two of the best ideas and doing what I said I would do. I'm actually very interested to see what you guys could come up with. It can be silly or serious or crack it doesn't matter. **_

_**Anyway, this leads me to the next thing. I wrote a one shot about Tseng and Elena. I'd love for you guys to read it and give me your thoughts on it. It's called An Evening Ablaze. **_

_**I was sure of how I wanted it to end but I wasn't sure how to get there though I knew what I wanted. Does that make sense? Hahah either way, I hope you people liked it. Without saying much, I can promise that the next chapter will pick things up.**_

_**I finally posted the redone version of chapter six and I highly recommend reading it over. There are several new scenes in all of the chapters I've redone. I'm now working on redoing chapters 7 through 9 then I think my overhaul should be complete. ^_^ so I hope you guys check that out. I think you'll enjoy them.**_

_**So anyway guys, as usual I ask you to please review the chapter and tell me what you liked, didn't like, or didn't understand. I want to thank you people for your continued support, it really keeps a woman going when she's about to run on empty..**_

_**Thanks guys. Please review!**_

_**--goodwitch08**_


	25. Shouldn't Dip Your Pen In Company Ink

**Chapter 25 **

Shouldn't Dip Your Pen In Company Ink

* * *

The heat in my fingers pressed against a coffee cup I clutched desperately in my hands spread from my fingertips and up my arms to my face and ceased almost all movement_._ As he brushed past me effortlessly my heart fluttered. His smoldering blue eyes met mine and a slight smirk turned up the corner of his lips. I parted my own to say something as he passed by but no words escaped. He looked away smoothly, leaving me hanging with lingering inadequate warmth. Somehow I turned to watch him walk away down the hall. His long white coat billowed behind him as if he had his own personal wind; even his hair seemed alive with drama. Gah look at him. Whatever did I do to deserve a Rufus Shinra? When did I--

"Excuse me."

Everything sped up to normal. My beating heart muted as the 'background' noise was no longer muffled. Gentle hands touched my arms briefly and moved me out of the way to prevent a collision. I almost lost grip on the coffee that I suddenly couldn't remember exactly what purpose it had.

"I'm sorry, sir."

Reeve Tuesti. Cait Sith's creator and controller. Mastermind with a black goatee.

He briefly looked back at me and smiled slightly while inclining his head. His neck length black hair fell around his face.

"I hope you are well, Elena."

He's the first executive to bother to call me by name or even bother to remember my name other than Rufus!

My mouth and mind tried desperately to work in harmony. Nothing. I shrugged hopelessly and nodded.

Did he see me gawk/flirting with Rufus?!

I felt him pat my wrist and watched him leave down the hall where _Rufus was watching_. Heat lingered on my face as Reeve disappeared inside of the conference room. Rufus lifted a hand and curled his fingers in a light wave. I lifted my hand uncertainly and mirrored his action. He smirked then disappeared inside of the conference room.

"..that's what I was trying to tell you..."

The sound of heels clacking and a familiar voice brought me back. I whipped around to see a vision of red and green coming down the hall towards me deep in conversation. None other than the cackling hens that Sara despises. Scarlet and Heidegger. They're the last people I want to notice me here for no reason.

Spotting the nearest exit I fled.

The door shut behind me. I lean against it and exhale slowly. Then I realize where I am. I ran into a stairwell. A small laugh escaped me; I took a sip of the foreign object in my hand. Halfway through the big foam cup I noticed the sound of heels walking back and forth on the stairs above me and distinct distressed sighing. Curiously, I make my way up the stairs.

With long dark hair billowing freely behind her is Sara pacing back and forth in a lab coat, running a hand through her hair. What's wrong?

"...Sara?"

She stopped and looked at me For a second as if she didn't realize who I was; she laughed tensely. "Elena, I am glad you're here. I need to talk to someone about this..."

"About what?"

"Oh Elena, it's horrible..."

Suddenly she grabbed my wrist—her nails bit into my skin—and led me briskly down a few stairs with an air of anxiety. I opened my mouth to ask her exactly what was going on but bit back the question. She led us into the Weapon's Department and didn't stop until we were somewhere by ourselves.

Sara sighed again, ran a hand through her hair, then promptly began to pace. "Gone Elena, all gone!" he lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. "Even the copies to the Proud Clod."

What is she talking about? What's gone? I've never seen her look so frazzled. Even strands of hair are out of place today! I watched her go back and forth, her heels clacked along with her. "Hmmm? Sara what exactly is going on?" Half of me wants to pull her into a big warm hug and say 'don't worry be happy' and the other half wants to get to the bottom of it. People like Sara don't start acting like this for no reason. I doubt she's upset because a bottle of nail polish or something went missing.

Sara stopped for a second and looked at me. Then sighed again and began pacing again. The next words fly out of her mouth so fast I barely catch them.

"Weapons, Elena. Missing. "She tugged on her hair. "You can't tell anyone please I...I don't know how to explain this. The security tapes show nothing out of the ordinary—they were all here and accounted for until—"her voice got shrill (do I sound like that when I freak out?) "--I don't want to be accused of selling this stuff on some black market for some dark seedy purposes! Most of the missing things are things I at least had a hand in creating! How to I explain this? Scarlet will not be receptive--"

This hast to stop.

"Slow down. This isn't the end of the world. Please sit...um can we—do you have an office or somewhere private we can go?"

"And--"

_Smack._

With wide eyes she touched the side of her face. "...you slapped me..?"

"Sorry.....I do tend to hit a bit hard..." I winced inwardly. It was the quickest way to get her to realize she's being...._me_. And that was meant to be just a light tap.

She blinked, almost as if she was unsure how to respond. "...I have a...office space...we can talk in..." she blinked again slowly.

"Great." I gave what I hoped was an apologetic smile.

Sara threw me another sideways glance then led the way.

She led us into a large work area with about 10 desks and partitions around each one; the area was surrounded by glass walls. She continued past the desks to an office behind a closed door that over looked the other desks. For a second I thought it was Scarlet's office for this floor. Sara unlocked the door and led me in. She commented that she'd love for me to figure out how long it took her to get this office. Her office space is filled with things she's been working on. It's clear she's busy most of the day. I wish I could say the same thing about myself. On one side there's a single window that's covered with office curtains.

She sighed and sat on the edge of her desk, moving a few blue prints of things out of the way. I leaned against the door. "I was promoted last year."

Can she read minds too? "Oh..."

"Not that it really makes a difference. Except for the extra work. Sometimes I forget the title Scarlet gave this position..." she seemed to be talking to herself more than me.

"Um...Okay now what happened?"

She sighed. "Today....I went to work on a few buggy protective suits and that's when I noticed that almost all of my things were missing or at least hand drawn models of them like with the Proud Clod..."

I stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Did you check if another developer was testing them?"

She rose from the desk and sat in the chair behind it. Before answering she messed with the computer, clicking a few things I couldn't see. She sighed again. "Yes. I checked every possible solution." she clutched her hair on top of her head; It leaked through her fingers like dark waterfalls. She stared down at the desk. "None of them were using them or noticed anything strange. I even contacted friends in the security departments and soldiers and they insisted they weren't doing any trials with those particular items."

"...oh...um...how do you keep up on them?"

"Various things...like bar codes and things like that..." she answered then quieted for a second. She met my eyes. "What am I going to do?"

I stuffed my hands in my pocket and fought an urge to fidget. She's asking me what she should do. She trusts me that much? I don't know how I feel about that. What am I supposed to say? Pat her on the head and tell her it'll be all fine when it might not be because I don't think Scarlet would be very forgiving. And what if the stuff she's lost is very important? But then again nothing could be wrong and there could be a simple explanation. But I doubt it. Maybe I'm just paranoid. But I doubt it.

"It'll uh...be fine." I moved further into her office and sat down in a nearby chair. "How many developers work on the Proud Clod?"

"Seven. All under Scarlet's critical gaze...."

"And you're the Chief Developer?"

She smiled bleakly. "Oh is that what it says on the door outside? I barely notice."

"Oh." How am I supposed to respond to that? "So...um...and you've checked security feeds?"

"You're so calm." she sounded surprised.

I fidgeted. "Not really. I'm trying to go against my nature at the moment."

It's better to attempt being calm and get answers than doing what I really want to do. I feel so professional and awesome right now.

"Thank you." she cast her gaze down to her desk and sighed.

I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. "I just don't want you to get in trouble." I laughed softly. "I really like you. So um...the feeds were normal and not at all tampered with?"

"Yes. All through the night and morning."

I leaned forward with interest. That sounds odd. With all of the cameras in this building something should have been noticed. Someone lugging expensive Shinra property out of the building would definitely be noticed. What if the person works from the inside, knows the building very well, and somehow avoids the cameras? This could be more important that I thought. When Tseng hears about this maybe he'll give the assignment to me so I will have something of my own to do.

"This could be a serious security breach. I will notify--"

"Don't." she straightened up and repeated the request insistently.

I recollected my thoughts. I wasn't expecting such a strong reaction. "Why—_I have to_. Why _not_?"

She started straightening things on her desk tensely. "I'll be held responsible Elena and I don't know how to explain it what happened to that stuff. I want to attempt finding them...there has to be some explanation."

What if this person or people also stole normal weapons from the military? It's not like they would be noticed since there are so many. They wouldn't be noticed for quite some time.

"Yeah and that's why I have to report it Sara." I fought an urge to start biting on my bottom lip. I'm supposed to be professional here!!

"Just give me a few days to figure it out...there has to be a logical explanation..."

"Sara--"

"...gahd, I shouldn't have told you."

"...."

She sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm putting you in a bad position." she looked up at me.

"A little bit." I shrugged and tried to give an encouraging smile.

She sighed. "...Elena...could you keep it to yourself at least for two days? I'm sure something will turn up."

I refuse to keep another secret. I'm already exploding from the one I have to keep already and this one is way more serious. Or at least it could be.

"I--"

"So you will help me?" she brightened.

"What? Well of course! You're my only female friend around here."

She rolled her eyes in relief. "Oh...thank you." she smiled slightly. "After two days if I have nothing you can tell your commander and I'll tell--"

Wait that's not what I meant!

"Whoa! Sara this is a potentially bad situation. I have to tell my boss." I kept my tone solid to make the point.

"What if it's nothing?"

"What if it _is_ something?"

"I could get fired or worse: _accused._"

"And I could too. Besides this could be the work of assassins or something or they could be weapon dealers selling them to assassins or terrorists or both or I dunno _something_...this must be reported and dealt with or--"

"But Elena--" she cut me off.

"What if The President is the target or something?" I crossed my arms. Hopefully she sees I'm not changing my mind.

"But this is all speculation..."

"I know but _I care about_ what happens to _the President_."

Silence. She stared at me. I averted my gaze to my lap. Did that sound a little odd the way I said that?! What if she noticed that?

"I understand." she broke the silence with a low voice. "It's your job to care..."

"Yeah." I don't know what else to say. I hate secrets sometimes.

Another silence fell around us. The sound of people moving around outside could be heard outside of the walls. I fidgeted and brought my gaze back to hers.

She's rummaging through a purse that is now on her lap. "You're right." she unzipped it. "Not reporting it would make me look far worse among other things. How irrational of me."

"Hah, yeah it's like opposite day or something."

"Hmmm...you're not irrational...just..." she trailed off while concentrating on the contents of her purse.

"Yeeeeah I am. Not to mention other things um... I'll inform Tseng and hear his opinion and stuff."

"Alright." she pulled something out of her purse. A pack of cigarettes and one of the ShinRa EMRs. Based on the scratches on it, it's well used. "Um...by the way could you give this to Reno? He left it at um...my apartment the other day."

"Oh?" Why does she have Reno's cigarettes and weapon?

"...yeah." She pushed them across the desk.

"Oooh..." I picked them up and set them in my lap.

"Yeah?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Heh." A smirk twitched on my lips.

"What?" her eyes widened.

"Nothing." I bit my lip. Reno stayed at her place last night. He didn't come straight back then.

She gasped. "Oh! It's ….not like that. It's not what you think."

"What do I think?" I tilted my head to the side slightly. Hmmm what _do _I think?

"....well maybe it's like that a little..." she looked down at her desk. Her skin reddened.

"Ooh." My oh my. Is that what I'm thinking?

"Your coffee is probably cold by now" she cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Oh! " I looked at the foreign object in my hand. The foam cup. "Actually....I'd gotten this for Tseng..." It's empty now. I tossed it into her trashcan.

"Oh...I see." she coughed slightly.

My face grew warm. "No no no no there's nothing to see there."

"Oh." she seemed thoughtful. "I could see that."

"You and me both..." I muttered.

"Oooh?"

"Eh." I shrugged not wanting to elaborate and explain the twisted triangle in my head. We'd better stop before I end up confessing other things. I _really_ hate secrets right now.

"Why not him then?"

"It's...complicated..." I shrugged again. "and...yeah..."

"That's true." she stroked her chin thoughtfully. "He's your boss."

"Yep..." I nodded. "And you know what they say..."

"You shouldn't dip your pen in the company ink." she finished.

I'm glad I dodged that one. How can I explain that? Would I even want to explain that one? Oh yes Sara you think you've got problems? I'm involved with President Rufus _and _I still have feelings for my commander. Otherwise I wouldn't have gone out of my way to get that coffee for Tseng even though he didn't ask for anything.

"Unless he's not technically a co-worker, eh Sara?"

She scoffed and laughed at the same time. "Hmmm it would seem."

What's going on with those two anyway?

"Well..." I stood up and grabbed Reno's stuff. "I better go talk to Tseng about it."

I made my way to the door.

"Hey Elena?"

"Yeah?" I stopped and looked back.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." a grin tugged at my lips. "I'll tell you what happens..."

I made my way back up to my floor, stewing in my own thoughts. I dropped Reno's cigarettes off into the trash on my way to an elevator where --gasp-- no one was in except for that quiet effeminate librarian guy who's name I don't know. I looked over at him. He didn't say a word; he stared determinedly at a wall and kept his distance. I smiled to myself and decided not to ask him what his name was today or accidentally call him a woman. He got off before I did with his hair swishing behind him. I shook my head and wondered if other people ever mistake him for a woman. Is he still miffed at me for calling him a woman twice?

Rude and Reno are in the lounge on our floor. Reno is lying on the couch with his feet propped up on the arm while Rude is sitting in a chair nearby talking to him. I walked in quietly and waited for one of them to notice. Rude looked over at me from behind his sunglasses. I waved Reno's EMR and walked in.

"Ohh there it is..." Reno sat up. "What are you doing with my rod?"

I tossed it to him. "Sara gave it to me. She says you left it at her apartment."

"So that's why you did not come back until 1 in the morning." Rude chuckled.

Unlike with Sara's, the blush is instantly visible on Reno's cheeks. Is that how I look when I blush? He shook his head, scoffed, and stood up while putting the weapon away. Rude and I laughed.

"I ain't saying anything." he perched on the arm of the couch. "Say, Elena? Where were you so long anyway? Tseng was lookin' for ya."

"He was?!"

"Yeah." Rude confirmed it.

"Why didn't he call me then? What did he want?"

"Hey Rude maybe she was off doing her mysterious boyfriend in the stairwells..."

"No I wasn't. Rude! Tell him I wasn't."

"How am I supposed to know if you were or weren't?" incredulous humor laced Rude's tone.

Good point.

"...I don't even..."

"Of course you don't. It's obvious. That's why you're so uptight." Reno winked.

"That...I am not uptight. Where is Tseng? I really need to talk to him about something anyway." I'd rather not go down that road with Reno. Such naughty things come out of his mouth.

"Tell me what happened to my new pack of cigarettes and I might tell you." Reno challenged.

"He said he was going to talk to The President about a few things." Rude interjected calmly.

"Dang it Rude!"

"Thank you Rude!" I patted him on the shoulder and then to the door. I stopped. "Oh and Reno?"

"Yeah?"

I looked over my shoulder. "I threw them in the trash."

"What?!"

He jumped up. With a burst of speed I ran for the nearest elevator and pushed the button jumping in just in time before he reached it. As it climbed up I heard him banging on the door. I laughed to myself and leaned against the wall. It's the least I can do after they kidnapped me yesterday.

I stepped off the elevator and ran straight into Chaminade. She stepped back with a sigh and ran smoothed down her hair. Her eyes darted behind me as I heard the doors close behind me. Her eyebrows furrowed together. Talk about impatient.

"Whoa, um Chaminade where are _you_ going?"

"To get some lunch. It's practically the only time I get to leave my desk. He doesn't even really need me. I think he gets a kick out of torturing my mind."

She sighed and moved from foot to foot. I doubt anyone can be _that_ hungry.

"Oh...um is he in?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Just knock..." she waved a hand flippantly, "Or whatever..."

Without another word she went around me and pushed the button. The doors slid back open. She muttered something as the doors closed on her.

"..heh."

I wonder what her problem is. Has Rufus finally driven her insane? As much as I like him I would never want to be his assistant or secretary. That would be a horrible experience I'm sure. Or maybe Chaminade's just a little melodramatic. Maybe. I can't help but think there's something weird about her sometimes. The under-eyed looks, the weird smiles that look like frowns. What if she knows about Rufus and me? What if she knows and she's secretly judging me or what if she's jealous because by law the secretary is supposed to be the one in an affair with the boss not the 'rookie chick from The Investigative Division of General Affairs Department that still let's her thoughts linger on her other boss--

I stopped short. "That's weird..."

The door was slightly ajar. _What if something's wrong? _Without thinking I shoved the door open unsure what to expect.

Rufus looked up at me. Tseng turned halfway from this spot and looked at me as well, his eyebrows raised to the point of almost disappearing in his hair.

"Elena?" he blinked.

Heat rushed to my face. I dropped my stance and glanced at Rufus for an explanation. A smirk was playing on his lips; his left hand appeared from under his desk.

"I--" How do I explain barging into The President's office?! I feel like an idiot!

The silence bore down on me with glaring red eyes.

Rufus moved slightly in his chair and brought his fingers together. The smirk twitched at the corners of his lips. "Hello Elena. This is a surprise." he waved me in loosely. "We were not expecting you."

"At all." Tseng added. I felt his gaze hard on me.

"I-I'm sorry Mr. President, Director...sirs. I didn't I didn't mean to interrupt. The door was oddly aj—open so I thought something terrible had happened since um this whole suspicious thing um is going on in the Weapon's Department and I'm so sorry this is so awkward um I never meant to barge in um Chaminade she um didn't even...I' m sorry um I'll leave."

"You should--"

"No, stay. We were just discussing you." Rufus interrupted Tseng softly.

Discussing me?!

I looked from one to the other. They both looked at me. A slight frown was beginning to crease Tseng's brow. Rufus inclines his head slightly, looking at me from under his lashes and smirking the entire time. My heart pounds in my ears. I'm afraid Tseng can hear it.

Somehow I remembered how to speak. "Me..._me_?"

"Yes. Come in. Sit."

"Um...but I--"

"Is something wrong Elena?" Rufus seemed to challenge me. His eyes narrowed and his smirk became more defined.

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

I want to run off right now! What sense did I have even coming up here? If I wanted to talk to Tseng I could have just waited on him to return. How was I supposed to know he would still be in his meeting with Rufus?! I want to leave. I should leave right now.

I reached for the door and an apology gets ready to spring from my lips.

But I can't can I? I promised Sara I'd help her out and to help her I have to talk to Tseng and eventually Rufus about it anyway right? I might as well do it now. It would kill two birds with one stone I guess. Even if I might end up going insane because of it.

"Um...no sir. President, sir...nothing is wrong."

Each time my heels hit the floor I felt like the noise was incredibly loud. No one else is making any noise but me, and I can feel their eyes on me unwaveringly. I concentrated on not falling while pulling out a chair beside Tseng and sliding into it. I pressed my knees together, put my hands in my lap, and stared at the sky outside of the window. _Will they please please stop looking at me?!_

"Tseng why don't you take Elena as your partner?"

What?! What does he mean by partner? There are several different uses for that word! What is he implying? What isn't he implying? Why is he implying or not implying something?

I glanced at Rufus, caught his eye, and quickly looked to Tseng for an answer. He looked away to Rufus. Silence. I found myself chewing on my bottom lip and my nails digging into my legs. I'm going to scream if someone doesn't say something!

"Partner for what?" I asked quietly. I hope I sound calm. _A threesome?!_

"The Temple of Ancients." They replied at the same time.

"Oh...really? _Me_?" I tried to contain my excitement and seem professional. If they could read my mind they'd be horrified.

"Well," Rufus nodded in my direction; a smirk still danced on his lips. "You _did _say you wanted more assignments."

"Oh...well...true." I broke our gaze and stared at my lap. It's safer than looking in his eyes. Or Tseng's for that matter.

"So why are you here Elena?" Tseng asked.

"I-I uh..." My head snapped up. Rufus smirked. Tseng's mouth was a flat line and his frown lingered on his brow. Gahd. "….I ...I was looking for you sir. And I....I guess I should have called or waited. I'm incredibly sorry about intruding." _I've got to get out of here_! I made a move to stand, "I'll leave...thank you so much for the assignment. I can't wait--"

Rufus's fingers wrapped around my hand. Heat rushed to my face, my heart throbbed in my ears. I couldn't stop looking in his eyes. My hands trembled and my palms began to sweat. What is he playing at?! Oh gahd! I can't even look at Tseng right now!

"Sit. I wish to know about this problem in the Weapon's Department that you eluded to." he released my hand. "Elaborate please?" he pressed his index fingers and thumbs together effortlessly against his desk in the shape of a triangle and watched me.

I nodded slowly and sat back down. Tseng cleared his throat beside me.

He's trying to make me go insane isn't he!

I cleared my own and tried to collect my thoughts. "Um...well...I've been informed..." I began to tell them.

Hearing only myself talk while they listened is weird. I can feel both of their eyes on me while my own is focused on anything but them. I keep it short and to the point (a feat Rude would be proud of!) and then fell silent.

"Hmm." I heard Rufus say. I fought the urge to look at him. Does he think it's worth worrying about?

"...I...um...I think I should investigate it some more and um...figure out a good course of action...if you think it's worth it. Um...I'd actually like the assignment..."

My voice fades into a thick silence. I force myself to look up confirming they are both watching me. Rufus smirks and runs a hand through his hair. "Tseng what do you think? Can she handle it?"

"Can I handle it?!" I wanted to ask but bit my tongue. That question was laced with undertones...

"I think so."

"Well there you have it."

"So..." I rubbed my palms against my pants. At least I get to do this assignment. I have to tell and thank Sara for telling me. "..um...this is great. Thank you...sir..."

Silence.

"You're welcome, Elena."

"You too sir." I looked to Tseng. "Um...when are we leaving for the Temple anyway?"

"Tomorrow morning." his expression provided nothing of what might be going through his head.

"Oh...um...okay..."

"You can leave now if you wish, Elena." Rufus said smoothly.

I stood up with a nod. "Thank you sir."

Without looking back I headed for the door as quickly as possible while trying not to break out in a run. I got far from his office then boarded the nearest elevator and leaned against the wall as I was carried downward. I let out a slow breath and realized I hadn't breathed since I stepped in his office.

_I need some air._

Leaving out of a side door on our floor I stepped out on a small balcony on the side of the building. The same one that Reno and I had our talk on that time. With a sigh I went to the edge and gripped the railing and looked over the sky. What was all that about anyway?

"Whoa you look terrible like you've seen a ghost or something."

Reno appeared beside me, leaning with his back against the rail a lit cigarette poised between his fingers near his lips. He watched me from the corner of his eye. I sighed inwardly. Was he already out here? I didn't notice.

"Oh...hey Reno." I stared down into the city. "Thanks for telling me I look terrible."

"No really." he tossed the cigarette over the edge. It disappeared with a short trail of smoke. "You're paler than usual."

"Thanks Reno." The last thing I need is someone telling me that something else is wrong with me. I feel so tired; all I want to do is go sleep on one of those big fluffy gray clouds up there. But I don't think I even have the energy to do that. I don't understand what just happened.

"Really Laney, you okay?" I felt his arm go around my shoulders and smelled the lingering scent of cigarette smoke. I feel a little better now. A little.

"What do you care?"

"Hey, I care." Reno pulled me closer to his side. I resisted the urge to rest my head against him even though I feel incredibly tired all of a sudden. "You look paralyzed like you've been mindfucked or something."

"Mindfucked...heh...that's a very fitting term." I muttered almost to myself.

What better way to describe what just happened? It's happened before but that seemed to be a mindfuck threesome or something.

"Heh, yeah?" Reno brightened. He likes the fact that I like his term doesn't he?

"Yep." I managed. Even talking is starting to become a chore. _Total mind shut down commencing..._

"Okay now I'm seriously concerned, what's up?" he peered at me.

I averted my gaze to the city again. "Reno it's..." I trailed off.

"C'mon try me." he sounds so convincing. "I have a soft chewy inside."

I chewed at the inside of my mouth and soon tasted blood. "Bastard coating with bastard filling is what I've heard."

He gave a short laugh. "Aww are you being cute?"

"I'm never cute."

"That's so cute."

I felt a smile twitched at my lips before falling off my face and dying off my feet.

"C'mon Elena." he said in a sing song voice; I felt his hand squeeze my shoulder.

Small warmth rushed through me and the smile tried to flicker back again but flat lined.

Another sigh escaped me. "I...well...feel thoroughly confused y'know? A mix of everything. I'm happy because I get to go to the Temple and I have another assignment too but...I feel really drained. I guess I've been seriously...um... mindfucked. Couldn't you think of a less vulgar way to put that?"

"By who?"

The President of course. Who else would have such grand powers?

"Does it really matter?" I sighed. "I can't help it. It's all my fault really. I like it but sometimes it makes me feel so nauseated with worry."

"Are you talking about work or something else?" he sounded very interested.

"Yes and no...really. They're oddly intertwined and connected..." I made two big half circles with my hands and slipped my fingers between themselves roughly trying to simulate a web. "....like a sick-twisted beautiful mysterious sexy--"

"Whoa whoa whoa if we're going down that road I'm not sure if I wanna hear it. I wanna maintain my belief that you are a pure innocent sweet girl. 'Sides it'll make me jealous since I want you so bad."

I rolled my eyes. He grinned and shrugged. I felt a grin flicker to life.

"I don't know how to cope with it at times." I admitted.

"Do what I do." he patted my shoulder.

"Partake in unhealthy behavior like drinking myself stupid and having loose sex?"

"Hey! I do not have loose sex. I resent that."

"Sorry..." did I just offend him?

"No offense taken man." he waved it off with his free hand. "What's crazy to me is that I don't see why you're so overwhelmed. You hardly even do anything."

"Thanks a lot Reno." I shoved his arm off me. And I thought I said the worst things at the worst moments? Its' true though. "I can't tell you and you wouldn't get it anyway."

Reno slithered back over to me and resumed the position. He leaned in; strands of red hair fell across his eyes. "I might."

Maybe he could. Sometimes it's very stressful and it would be nice to be able to talk to someone about it. I opened my mouth hesitantly. It should be easy, just form the words and say what I am to Rufus. But I don't even know what I am to him. Whatchamacallit isn't a very good description. I shook my head, laughed, and looked at the sky. "I can't tell you."

He made a 'tch' sound. "Or you won't tell me. How come? "

"I can't tell you because I'm not even really sure what's going on myself. I just feel roughly..." I reached for an adequate word.

"Mind fucked." he offered without missing a beat.

"Yeah." I nodded. " Incredibly."

The door opened behind us. I looked back. Rude was behind us holding a file in his hand. "Reno. "

"Time to go already?" Reno shrugged at me apologetically. "Sorry Laney gotta go to Costa Del Sol"

"Oh for what?" I remember them talking about it earlier but my mind is moving too slowly right now.

"Not for sexy bikini clad women and a vacation." he snorted. "Just to finally pick up 1 mad scientist."

"Oh. Have fun."

I watched them go together. I stayed outside for a few more minutes and then went back inside to give Sara the news.

* * *

Cold air blasts like a slap in the face. The streets are slicked with the most recent bouts of rain and thunder rumbles in the distance. A few animals trot here and there freely without having to worry about getting hit by a car or something. Most of the buildings are dark except for the Shinra building which is visible from almost every part of Midgar. Its stands tall against the cloudy early morning sky. It's dark out, and quiet. All I can hear is my breathing. My gaze lingers on the uppermost floor of the ShinRa building—The ShinRa Tower is dark too. A small grin crosses my lips. Rufus is at home. Is he sleeping? I don't know. Maybe. I wonder what he's like when he's asleep. _I _would be sleeping if I hadn't suddenly woke up after what felt like a dreamless night. But here I am, during the dead of the morning coming down the steps of my new building to take a jog. What better way to get to know this area? Honestly it doesn't look much different from most of the other sectors. It's lined with skinny city trees and filled with buildings of different shapes and sizes offering different things. Though somehow I have the feeling that this area contains more ShinRa workers than the others.

I stepped down from the steps to my new building and took a glance back at it when I reached the sidewalk. It's bigger, taller, and glossier than my previous building. So much has changed in a few days. Hell a few months! When I started at ShinRa I was a single girl and now I'm in a something-or-another with the last person I would have ever thought would look my way.

Soon the cool wind is rushing past me, rustling my jogging pants and short sleeved top. Energy buzzed through my veins and all I could hear was my own breathing and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement.

_What if I'd said no? Can anyone even tell Rufus Shinra no? He's the most powerful person in the world. And he's insanely good looking. Is there even a way around that one? Not that I want to get around it. _

I caught the smell of wet grass as I sped up around a corner and went past a flower plot.

_It could have been nipped firmly in the bud. But I have a lack of nipping prowess. And what crazy person would nip that? When he made his intentions slightly clear (like murky water...) by almost seducing me into a coma I could have nipped it right then and there. But I didn't. _

A pair of headlights came towards me and passed quickly. I sped around another corner. My heart rate increased. My feet paired with blood pumping in my ears and my breathing. I took a glance up at the sky. Grey and black. If it starts raining I probably won't stop.

_I wish I could talk to someone about it..._

With a sudden burst of speed I rushed past a jogger in all black heading in the opposite direction.

_Wait...I know that guy..._

Narrowly avoiding hitting a city tree, I skidded to a halt and spun around. The 'guy' stopped as well.

"Rude?"

He raised a hand in acknowledgement. "You were running like something was after you..."

A few leaves floated past my feet. I ran a hand through my hair and tried to catch my breath. I wasn't expecting to see Rude up early jogging too.

"...like something was after me? No...not really...just thinking...about...y'know...stuff." I shrugged.

Rude came under the street lamp I was standing near. He's not wearing his sunglasses. He put his hands in his pockets and glanced at the ground before looking at me.

"Were you heading back to the building?"

So weird that I'm their neighbor now.

"Yeah." he replied. "But I could stay out here with you if you want me to."

"I was about to head back too...."

Together we started off again, taking my path down another street and in between some cars parked on the side walk. We were silent for a while, just enjoying each other's company. I looked over at him a few times, admiring his form. He has a type of grace on his feet, unlike me. I just fall on my ass.

"Rude..." I broke the silence. "...what did you want to talk to me about?"

"....."

"Aren't you going to tell me?"

"...I'm trying to figure out how to put it..."

"Oh?"

I slowed to a brisk walk; he did the same. I took in a heap of cold air and glanced up at the ShinRa building again. A lone car passed by us, sending a breeze in its wake. Thunder rumbled in the distance. It's going to rain again; I wonder when it'll stop. I ran a hand through my hair and watched him. He's looking up at the sky.

"....."

A grin tugged at my lips. He's so quiet; I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. Even without his sunglasses I can't really read him. Then again, I can't read anybody can I? But people always take the time to tell me about just how much of an open book I am. Boy if I could read Rude I'd deserve a prize. I bet even Reno can't read him all the time.

We went back inside and got on an elevator in peaceful silence. I paid attention to my body slowing down. The elevator stopped and we stepped off onto the deadly quiet hallway. It almost seemed dream like with how the sconces lit up the halls every few doors and made everything seem sleepy. Too bad I'm not sleepy right now.

"You're going to the Temple of Ancients with Tseng in a few hours."

I nodded. I didn't expect him to say anything. "Yep! Can't wait!" I really can't! This will be fun. Just me and Tseng on a real assignment together!

Rude chuckled softly.

"What?" I smiled up at him.

He shrugged. "You're so _eager_."

"_Over_eager..." I sighed. There is no way that's a good thing. "How can I be more like you? You're so put together and awesome. How long until I get like that and how long until I'm able to wear sunglasses indoors and pull it off with the same amount of cool?"

He smiled slightly and produced a pair of sunglasses and slipped them over his face thus shading his eyes. Rude nudged me lightly with his elbow. "Would it be worth pointing out that me calling you eager wasn't meant to be a bad thing?

"Oh! Really? Oh.._how_?"

Rude laughed. That nice rumbling laugh he has when he really finds something funny. A big grin tugged at my lips. We continued on down the hall and stopped at my door. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and curled my fingers around the keys.

"...You know what sucks? I'm not sleepy and I should be..." Hopefully he gets the hint that I'd rather stay up right now. I just don't feel like going to sleep right now. I can't go to sleep right now. If I could I wouldn't have been jogging this early in the morning. I feel so energized right now and I can't keep thinking about what happened—or didn't happen—today.

"Well hopefully you get some rest." he smiled slightly and started heading down the hall.

"Um...yeah. Um..."

Please don't go Rude! Let me come with you! Don't make me sit in this unfamiliar apartment all alone!

As if he could read my mind Rude stopped, and turned around halfway. "I could stay up for a little while...I'm not tired myself."

"Oh Rude!" Without thinking I ran up to him and jumped to wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you! Oh no ...am I loud?" I lowered my voice. "_Thank you.._."

He flicked on the switch and led the way into he and Reno's apartment. I stopped and looked around; other than the lived-in look and atmosphere it is very similar to my new apartment down the hall. Everything is also a lot neater than I would have expected.

Rude took a short trip into the kitchen and returned with two cans of soda. He handed one to me then eased himself into an armchair and popped it open. I sat down on the couch and popped mine open cautiously; since Reno lives here I can't help but wonder where pranks are hidden throughout the apartment.

"I figured you two were roommates..." I took a sip. Mmh lemony.

"Why? Because we're attached at the hip?"

"Well I didn't mean..."

Rude chuckled. "It's a joke Elena."

"Oh...haha I knew that. Um so...who does most of the cleaning up?" I looked around the living room again. It's not obsessively clean but it's cleaner than I expected. I'm used to believing that guys are pigs. Except for Rufus. And maybe Tseng.

"Oddly enough, Reno does. He can be obsessive." Rude smiled to himself as if he was remembering something that related to his statement. "And tends to nag at times. Then other times he couldn't care less what the place looked like."

Wow Reno's a nagging neat freak? Somehow I wouldn't have pegged him for one. The way he dresses would tell me otherwise. I'd think Rude was the one that had to tell Reno to not put empty cartons of milk back in the fridge or drink out of the carton and things like that. I wonder what Reno's take on coasters is.

"..oh that's pretty unexpected." I downed half of my can in one gulp. It stung pleasantly against my throat. "Especially since his office can get pretty messy at times."

I'm willing to bet that Rufus would flinch if he saw Reno's office.

Rude chuckled. I laughed softly and glanced toward the hall wondering if Reno was asleep or in his room at all.

"So Rude are there any reason you wear sunglasses other than you look cool? We've decided it's not because you're blind-'cause who ever heard of a blind Turk—or because inside light hurts your eyes as you once claimed so what is it? Do you do it to scare people and perfect the tall, dark, silent, and handsome thing?"

Rude chuckled, shook his head and drank some more. I grinned.

"Think it'll rain again?"

Suddenly the distinct sound of rain pounding on the roof and windows startled us. Thunder exploded over head and a bolt of lightning flashed behind the curtain.

"I guess that answers it."

Rude and I exchanged looks then turned our faces up at the ceiling.

"I guess so!" I giggled. Even the weather has punch lines. "You know it's been raining a lot lately." my laughter faded. "...in fact "I could hardly sleep last night. I always get like that when I'm at a new place y'know? Or an unfamiliar place like uhm...the night...before--" I coughed. I can't tell him about the night before even though I'd like to sometimes. Especially after earlier. When I got back from Rufus's office I felt confused, tired, and freaked out. After I got back from telling Sara the news I sat in my office and stared at the wall for about ten minutes while replaying what seemed to have happened in his office over and over in my head. I can't tell him. But I'd like to."...so what did you want to talk to me about anyway? It's been a day and you still haven't told me. Have you figured out how to say it?"

"....."

"Ooh you know what? This is so crazy but last night I thought you and Sara would make such a cute couple."

"..." he peered at me over his glasses with a skeptical raised eyebrow.

I waved him off with my drink. "Oh don't look at me like that. I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with Reno and her. Do you have any leads?"

He relaxed again and pushed his sunglasses up. "Not really..."

"I sound like such a gossip don't I? I'm sorta excited to be in this building since I now have you two as neighbors and who knows who else. I'm sorta weary too since I keep thinking Reno will be standing over me when I wake up one morning and then douse me with feathers and honey. Crazy right? Oh yeah Rude what is it that you wanted to talk about? Have you figured out how to put it yet? And what could it possibly be that you have to think of how to say it? It can't be that serious can it? So what did you want to say? I'm all ears. Well no not all ears haha if I was all ears I'd look like a freak but be able to hear for miles. I'm insane aren't I? Yes I know I am you don't have to agree--"

"I was just going to say that if you want to keep secrets you should be a little more discrete."

"What?"

"You did intend on your affair with Rufus to be secret right?"

* * *

My boots hydroplaned across a huge puddle of water near the waiting black chopper as I skidded to a breathless halt and shoved my hair out of my face. I pulled open the door to see Tseng watching my progress patiently. Only the slight hint of a frown creased his brow and his lips were practically a straight line. No hint of a smile or grin or smirk could be seen. The heat that's already rushing through my body flushed my cheeks once again. I glanced at the ground then—for fear of not wanting to waste even more time—I got into the helicopter and drew my bottom lip firmly into my teeth to stop from repeating what he already knew. That I had to run all the way back to my office because I left my gun behind like an ass. I had been cleaning it before he said it was time to go and left it on my desk.

I have to say something though. Otherwise he'll think I'm nonchalant about it or something.

"Sorry I'm late, sir. I was um...detained." I put on my headgear and strapped myself in.

"Is that right?" I couldn't tell if he was being ironic or serious so I said nothing. "I'm sure it was important." he looked out of his window then turned on the helicopter.

"....uh yeah." I muttered, hoping in vain that I was somehow drowned out by the rotating propellers.

Detained indeed.

_My nails bit into the palm of my hands, my throat was thick with anxiety, and my walking was beginning to pass over the thin line between brisk and flat out running. My heart thumped like a fast out of control drumbeat_ time waster time waster time waster _it seemed to say. Everything was a blur as I went ahead and crossed that line. Then stars burst into my vision as I collided with something or someone quite solid._

"_Oof!"I grunted._

_Papers scattered into a loose pile. I steadied myself and looked up to the victim with a mouth full of quick apologies._

"_I'm s—" My words caught in my throat and tangled with the feeling that was already occupying it._

_His irritated expression melted away as he looked up at his assailant. Rufus. Complete with sharp blue eyes and that weird feeling I get whenever I even see him. I wanted to say something cute like "We've got to stop meeting like this shnuckums" instead I looked down at the mess with a grimace. _This _is going to take even more time._

_While standing with the newly put together file something flashed across my mind. He didn't even bother to help me pick them up this time. In fact, he'd been silently watching me the entire time while I picked them up for him. Provided yes, it was my fault that he dropped them but still he'd made a point out of helping me last time._

"_You didn't help me this time, "I handed them back to him, "...sir." I added with what I hoped was irony or something._

_He took them, straightened out the corners, and tucked it under his arm. "Yes well that was a onetime thing. I didn't have anything to gain from this one."_

We're flying out of Midgar's airspace and into the desolate plains around it. I sighed to myself and stared out of the window. We haven't spoken in exactly—I checked my watch—five minutes. How was I supposed to explain that? I risked a glance in his direction. He was busy with the controls and seemed to be deep in thought himself.

Then his eyes turned toward me slightly.

I looked away to the horizon. What to say what to say what to say? He just caught me staring at him! "So...um this is will be very good for ShinRa if we're right. For Midgar and the entire Planet too...if the President's theory about the Promised Land is right..."

"Perhaps." he answered.

I fidgeted. Why am I the kind of person that can't stand drowning in perpetual silence? Why can't I be more like the quieter people I know? "Um...how has your day been going sir?"

"Not well. I have a little slut chewing my ear off to compensate for the way she's feeling about herself after what she did before joining me."

"What?" I looked over at him so fast my eyes flinched.

He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow looking slightly confused. "I said, 'I've had better days'."

Now I'm hearing things!!!

"Oh!" I sighed in relief. I returned my eyes to the scenery. What else could I possibly look at that wouldn't make me want to draw my knees up to my chest and start rocking back and forth? At least the sky—which was steadily getting brighter the more we got away from Midgar—wouldn't make me paranoid.

"What did you _think_ I said?"

"Um...nothing." I kept my gaze firmly on a patch of sky surrounded by light gray clouds. Of course he'd never say that to me. He didn't see anything and he's way too nice to say something like that. "Just the torture of a guilty conscience I guess...." I muttered almost to myself.

"_I'm a big girl; Rufus I didn't need you to escort me." I wanted to sound coy now that I was about to leave him and finally get where I was going. In the back of my mind I wondered exactly how long I'd been away from the chopper and how much of a delay I put in our plans._

_Rufus smirked. "Do not flatter yourself Elena. I was technically heading in this direction anyway."_

"_Well..." I didn't know what else to say. "Heh. I should go...then..."_

"_You should." he crossed his arms. "Tseng is waiting on you."_

"_Speaking of him. Was that just my imagination yesterday in your office?"_

_An actual answer was all I wanted._

"_What do you mean?" he raised an eyebrow. _

_I attempted to study his face but couldn't even begin to read his mind let alone his expression. I gave up._

"_Maybe—eh I'm not sure. Um...bye. I hope we're back soon..." I hesitated. I was not really sure what I wanted him to say or do. "....so...yep." _

_Then he drew me in close to him. I inhaled sharply and tried to swallow the electric feeling that ran through me. As I was about to protest this for several reasons his fingers caressed the side of my face before coming to rest beneath my chin and tipping it up. His lashes brushed his skin as he blinks and his startling blue eyes make heat rush to my face. In the back of my head I'm telling myself this is what got me in trouble last time. I should be heading outside right now and getting in the helicopter with Tseng and leaving. I should not be engaging in such inappropriate behavior. _

_A slow curve turned up on his lips and the thoughts left my mind. All I wanted to do was kiss him and feel like I'm the most important person in the world to him for a few minutes. The thoughts tried to come back but faded as he pulled me closer; I could feel his chest under my hands, his fingers pressing lightly at the nape of my neck, and that pleasant scent he always has. _

Tseng glanced over at me. "A guilty conscious?" then looked back to the controls. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not, sir."

What am I supposed to say to that? Oh sir I'm feeling a little guilty because moments before I finally returned to you I was sharing a very pleasing kiss with my whatchamacallit who just happens to be our Rufus Shinra? What am I supposed to say to that? Should I also add that I still have feelings for him too while I'm confessing such things that shouldn't be confessed. Hell I shouldn't even have anything TO confess! Every time I attempt questioning why I am involved with Rufus I forget my train of thought because he's just so pretty and he likes me. _He_ likes _me_. It would be easier if we could tell people about it however. I mean Rufus doesn't seem to care if we get seen or not even though he's the one that insists that we keep it to ourselves. Whatever _it_ is.

Well actually...it's not completely secret anymore but since Rude knows that is practically one and the same. I've wondered what Rufus's motives are behind keeping it a secret. Does he just think it's funner that way (it is a little until he starts mindf-ing me in his office while Tseng is present)? Or maybe less likely he wants to protect me from something? Maybe he likes me so much that he wants to protect me from judgment and scrutiny? Or maybe he'd rather keep it secret so that whenever it may end he'll be able to end it without having any mess to clean up and we'll be just like we always were. Strangers. Employee and Employer. Every time I think about that though I feel a little nauseous because I'd rather it not end. Every time he doesn't talk to me for a day I get paranoid.

I have a problem.

Or maybe the real reason is because Rufus prefers not to tell anyone so that he can protect me from certain cardiac arrest or blacking out because when Rude said that to me last night I thought I was going to have a heart attack...

"_....."_

_He knows._

_Everything dulled in the background except for Rude's words circulating in my head. I wanted to say something in defense. Lie. Deny. But I realized that he wasn't asking a question he was simply informing me. I stared at my lap. Everything suddenly felt very hot and very uncomfortable. I didn't know what to say or how to say it. _

"_Please don't tell anyone..." I finally said in a very small voice. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. My mouth felt dry, my heart was beating hard against my chest, and my hands were shaking a little._

_I heard him sigh. "..I never planned on it."_

"_I...I should explain."_

"_You don't have to." I felt his hand on my shoulder. _

_I looked up at him. "....?"_

_He shrugged. "It's your business."_

It _is_ my business but I want to talk to someone about it. Who better to know than the most silent person in the Turks? I didn't think about this last night though, I was too flustered and a little embarrassed for some reason. I left soon after that and he didn't say anything else about it. Somehow I finally did fall asleep by listening closely to the rain and making my thoughts go blank. By blank I mean creating different scenarios of how Rude could have possibly found out. I have so many questions for him but they'll have to wait until I can look him in the eye again. All morning I stayed in my office until it was time for Tseng and I to leave so that I wouldn't have to run into him—or Reno. If I had I probably would have spontaneously combusted. Or...something.

I really shouldn't be too freaked out by this right? I'm sure other people have been in whatchamacallits with people they work with and work for. Maybe Tseng has. I wonder what he would say.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" I looked over at him.

"Only if I get to ask you one in return." he replied without bothering to meet my gaze.

We're now flying over an open body of water.

"Oh okay." I chewed on my lip. I can't ask him if he's ever been involved or thought of being involved with an employee. That might imply all sorts of things! But I still need to ask him something since I already started this. Stupid me! "Um...when you first met me...."

"I'm listening."

"....what was your first impression just based on appearance?"

As soon as the words tumbled out of my mouth I winced inwardly. I hope he doesn't compare me to my sister. Oh gahd what if he and my sister had something going on?! No. Stop. That's a terrible thought!

"Hmm I thought that while you obviously bare resemblance to your sister..."

Ohhhhno...

"--you were a bit disarming." He glanced over at me, meeting my gaze.

I looked away. "Disarming?"

"Yes. Frankly you don't seem dangerous at all."

"Oh..." What is that supposed to mean? That's a terrible thing to say! Does this mean I've been lying to myself all these years about the amount of fear I can instill in a person?

"This is a great thing. Which I'm sure you know."

My mouth fell open slightly and heat rushed to my cheeks. A grin tugged at my lips. "It is?"

"Of course." he shrugged slightly.

"Oh." I fidgeted. "Well I'm not sure how I feel about that sir."

"Well it is supposed to be a compliment." he gave me a slight smile. The sun hit his eyes in a way that made the colors seem to come to life.

I smiled back; that coiling feeling rose up in my stomach. I looked away quickly down at the land beneath us. We're now above what looks like nothing but forest.

"Of all the questions in the world, why that one?" Tseng asked.

"Um..." how can I say that wasn't really what I wanted to ask at all at first? I also wanted to ask him if he ever saw me as anything but a genderless employee. But that's just inappropriate isn't it? "I don't know. I was just wondering. I care a lot about how certain......people view me."

"I see."

I looked over at him. He was directing the helicopter and giving it his full attention. I changed the subject to our destination. He told me we were about to land in less than ten minutes in a certain area where the Temple is supposed to be.

We stayed silent after that. Something seemed to linger in the air. The same something that was there when he drove me home after Reno and Rude ditched me when we all hung out that night. I bit my lip and concentrated on my lap and tried not to think about what Rufus did after he almost made me melt in a puddle.

A few minutes later we landed on a shore line near a forest. I followed him into the trees.

There was nothing but forest around us and patches of blue sky over our heads. There were no beaten paths to lead us easily into the Temple. Tseng was looking down at his phone in a business-like manner. I didn't have to ask him what he was doing. Unlike what I probably would have been doing, he wasn't checking emails or something. He was looking at something akin to a compass or a GPS that would lead us through the trees and directly to the face of The Temple of Ancients.

* * *

----

* * *

_**Hi all...faster update this time eh? I tried a new method this time with the writing where I did the dialogue first and then added the rest of the scene later. I wonder if it worked. It seemed to make things a little faster since most of the time the things they say are what get me caught up the most. Anyway, those are just the ramblings of an authoress. **_

_**Ummmsness about the 300 review celebration I want to thank everyone who submitted and now I'm done taking submissions and you guys will see which ones I chose whenever I write and post them! ^_^!**_

_**Anywhos I've started College again but I am hoping to update more often; while I thought I'd update about six times over the summer I think I only updated a total of two or three times because I seemed to get some bad writers' block at the worst possible time. Thank you guys who help me with little snags in the story. You know who you are! ^_^. You're silent heroes! With that said I hope you are all having a nice school term and/or vacation, work, etc. Good luck and someone better write another Rufena story out there because I would like something to read about them from another person's perspective other than my own!**_

_**Anyway so let's talk about the big elephant in the room. Rude knows. How long as Rude known? Hmmmmm we'll have to find out won't we? As you all can see the Temple of Ancients seems to be the next Chapter. Pray for Tseng. Better yet, pray for me and hope I do that part the same amount of justice I did other in-game assignments but even better. So, what do you think about Rude's revealing, how do you think this will change things? What about Sara's problem? Are you guys suspicious of anyone yet? Should you be? Tell me in a review!**_

_**--goodwitch2008**_


	26. Temple of Ancients

_**GW08:**__ Hello all. Sorry about the 9 month or so wait. Unforgiveable I know! Let me just say that it all boils down to two things: Other responsibilities and WRITER'S BLOCK. I even wrote a poem about Writer's Block for my creative writing class. Argh. I'll have you all know that Elena never stopped poking me sharply with the business end of her gun the entire time. Moments of inspiration were hard to come by with this chapter, mainly because this chapter is the chapter that will change the mood for a good portion of the remainder of Part 1 of Flux. Also because stabbing Tseng—while enjoyable—was very hard to do. None the less, with a little help from some choice music and lots and lots of thought and writing and deleting and drafts this chapter has finally come to life. And while I'm not promising anything spectacular, I do hope you enjoy this chapter. There isn't a lot of Rufus in this chapter but he promises he'll be back very soon. I've already begun working on the next slew of chapters and I don't plan on making you guys wait so long again. I hope everyone had a good semester, I sure did. And thank you for being patient. And thank you to those that sent me several emails concerned if Flux had been discontinued. You guys made me want to hug you! So without further ado and over 13,000 words for this chapter I give you what you've been waiting for. Enjoy._

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**Chapter 26**

Temple of Ancients

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Wind whispered around us as it rushed through the trees. Little beams of sunlight danced in my eyes whenever we passed beneath an opening that allowed the sky to be seen in our otherwise shaded surroundings. Greenish shadows jumped out from behind the trees. Narrow beams of white light filled with little particles would sometimes light up the overgrown path ahead of us. The wind brushed past my neck. An animal called in the distance. I crossed my arms and stared at my feet I took another shallow breath and tried to swallow but my throat felt tight. Beside me, Tseng sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I glanced over at him; He was looking ahead and frowning slightly to himself.

I wish I could read his mind.

Another stiff breeze rustled the trees and allowed little flashes of sunlight to jump around us before casting us into gloominess again. I pulled my bottom lip into my teeth and sighed to myself. The forest is making me uncomfortable.

"Sir?"

I haven't uttered a word to him since we first stepped off the helicopter. He seems to like it better when I don't talk.

"Yes?" I felt his gaze on me but I kept my eyes trained on the cluster of trees ahead of us. The last thing I want is to be distracted for a moment and then end up getting attacked.

"Do you get the feeling...that we….don't belong here?"

"What do you mean?" Tseng's stopped. I stopped. He lifted his gaze to the thick canopy above us. Another wind brushed past, rustling the leaves and his hair around his face. I fought an urge to push it back for him.

"..Um...just that this place...it seems forbidden...or...sacred or...something..." I shrugged, wishing I could sound a little more eloquent. I never have been able to explain my thoughts properly. I guess that's why I'm a horrible speech giver.

Tseng opened his mouth to respond but his cell phone rang. The trees above us rustled violently; several flying creatures took off into the sky. I tightened my grip on my gun that was still resting at my hip. I hope he doesn't notice.

He glanced at his phone and a slight frown creased his brow—it happened so fast I barely noticed it. Maybe it's the sunlight in his eyes. He lifted it to his ear and started moving forward again, I followed. I didn't say a word, but I figured out from his end of the short exchange that it was Rufus on the other end.

I stayed silent and stared at the ground. Just knowing that Rufus was on the other end of that conversation made me blush and feel like I had some explaining to do. Moments after Tseng hung up we came upon a jagged chasm in the ground that abruptly cut off the forest. Across it hung an old wooden footbridge that seemed sturdier than it should have been and just on the other side was the Temple of Ancients sitting ominously against the sky.

A gentle wind rustled the trees behind us; I looked back just in case.

He took the first step onto the bridge and I followed.

White smoke danced up from below us, covering our feet and wrapping around our legs like thousands of snakes that would break away into nothing each time we moved. Every time I moved, I winced inwardly feeling like my heels on my boots are making way too much noise. Why can't I wear less girly shoes? They're a bit impractical aren't they?

I stayed close behind Tseng; our hands bumped occasionally as they traveled along the rough rope that kept the bridge steady. It was quiet, the only sound coming from the rustle of trees around us whenever the wind decided to blow through.

I released a sigh as we stepped off the bridge and onto stable ground. I glanced behind me towards the forest, suddenly it seemed unreachable. I stared up at the crumbling stone archway before us. Tseng crossed his arms and took a few cautious steps forward, I followed him. We entered an area that was surrounded by crumbling walls and broken statues and covered in vines. A few feet ahead were the base of some large stone stairs that led up to the entrance of the temple—which seemed very far away.

"Report to headquarters….tell them we've found it."

It took a second for his request to register.

"Um…" I dug in my pocket and slipped it out. I pressed a button; it lit up and automatically dialed. I put it to my ear and waited.

"Yes?" Rufus. It feels like days since I last heard his voice.

The phone went black.

"Um…."

"Something wrong?" Tseng turned away from the Temple and observed me with a raised eyebrow.

I glanced at it again, hoping it would magically come back on but it remained unresponsive.

"Um..." I quietly hoped I had remembered to charge my phone. "Sir my phone is dead..."

"Seriously?" he said in a deadpan tone. Maybe he also thought I had forgotten to change it.

"Yes sir."

It's not my fault!

With a sigh he pulled out his own. A sigh told me that his didn't respond to his touch either. "He'll just have to wait."

Tseng frowned slightly to himself and put his useless phone away. A warm wind breathed down my neck. I swallowed. How will we contact anyone if something bad happens?

"Guess so…" I pressed my teeth into my lip.

Our connections with the world are gone.

We walked beneath the arch together with Tseng advising me to stay close because there are probably traps in a place like this. The Temple dwarfed the crumbling walls that surrounded it. Without stopping, Tseng led us to the base of a flight of huge brown stone steps that would lead us to the entrance. As we climbed the stairs, the air seemed to get heavier and the pit of my stomach got tighter.

I can't stop thinking about it. I want to perform well and not do anything stupid and completely incompetent so that maybe he'll think higher of me and I'll get to do more important assignments like this one. I want to tell myself that it can't be too bad. That it's just research at some old ruins and the likelihood of us running into anybody else is very small, and then maybe I can get through this without trying too hard and ruining something.

We reached the top of the stairs and I dared to look back down. The ground seemed unbelievably far away. What if I fell and my lifeless body slammed into each of those sharp edges on the way down? I tore my eyes away.

Before us was an altar with grooves in it that indicated that something was missing. Two sconces lit filled with fire danced against the walls, lighting up most of the area but leaving shadows lining the walls. We stepped onto the platform. Tseng produced the orb that was the key to the Temple of Ancients. It slipped perfectly into place. Blue light slid like liquid from it and into connecting orbs. The entire temple seemed to sigh. My stomach tightened painfully. I looked up at Tseng. The blue light had tinged his skin. His hair fell off his shoulders as he leaned forward slightly.

I looked away.

What if I don't get this one right? What if there is more to this assignment than just gathering information and getting that strange artifact that has been mentioned in several company meetings lately? What if something goes wrong? I can't get this one wrong like I did at the Mythril mines. Every time I think about how horribly my first assignment went, I want to ride myself off the 70th floor with a chocobo.

Fly birdie fly! Splat.

The last orb filled with blue light. Slowly the entire platform began to sink slowly into the ground and daylight faded. I looked over at Tseng against the orange glow of the two flames dancing behind our heads. He looked up and our eyes met across the altar. Once again, I looked away.

I stared at a flame dancing on the old crumbling wall beside me instead of at him.

We slowed to a stop. A darkened corridor lay before us with no light. The only light came from the flame dancing behind us making long shadows across the floor. I swallowed again as the thought of ancient traps swirled around my mind. The last thing I want is to get impaled by some old rusting spear or get flattened by some big ancient boulder. I just don't want to encounter anything that a well placed bullet can't handle. I'd rather not use magic.

"….what are we looking for again, sir?"

I know the answer to that; I just want to have something to say. It's better than being silent. Talking makes everything better.

"Mainly the Black Materia...…. it won't be easy to reach—here…"

I looked over to see a large flame dancing on a stick behind held out to me by Tseng's arm. I trapped my hand around the pole, grazing his hand as he released it. The warmth of the flame caressed my cheek.

"Thank you sir."

I took a step forward towards the darkness only to be stopped by his arm stretched out in front of me. He raised an eyebrow; his brown eyes reflected the flame in his hand.

"You can't simply _walk_ forward in a place like this."

Translation: Elena, you're an idiot.

I nodded.

I watched as he raised his own torch and examined the walls around us closely. I wonder if he's ever been in a place like this before and something bad happened involving a trap. Or is he just intelligently cautious? He's so mysterious…sorta like Rufus is but in a different way. Look at him…all diligent and thoughtful in his inspection. I know I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts right now but I can't help it….I still have _feelings_ for Tseng. There I said it. I hate that every time he says something to me or looks at me I get-flustered. I should be ashamed of myself. _Really._

"Come."

Tseng straightened up and moved ahead into the wall of darkness. I followed the bobbing torch ahead of me closely. Against the limited glow of our torches were slick stone walls covered in a thin layer of cobwebs in between the gaps. This is just some old ruin….there is nothing to be afraid of, though I can take on a walking corpse if the occasion calls for it. I should be focused on doing well and making a good impression and that's all.

I'm a _professional_. And I should conduct myself in a professional manner—

_OH MY GAHD WHAT JUST CRAWLED ON ME?_

Professional!

Tseng's torch stopped. I almost ran into him. We entered a new area. Small torches flared to life all around us. We are standing in the middle of a large room filled with interlocking stone arches, bridges, and large staircases. The ground was a mixture of dirt, rock, and stone. Vines snaked around the crumbling stone steps.

"Wow."

Tseng chuckled lightly.

I looked over at him, a grin tugged at my lips. A ghost of a smile graced his lips for a moment. He walked ahead, warmth caressed my cheeks.

We took the first set of stairs. At the top was an archway that led us into a dimly lit corridor. I walked beside him, trying not to look at him. Our flames danced and warmed our faces before us and blended our shadows in weird way. We fell into an easy stride.

"So….um…" I glanced over at him, his flame cast a shadow on his half his face. "…can we talk?"

He glanced over at me, our eyes met for a brief second before he looked ahead again.

"About what?"

"Anything. " I shrugged into the darkness. "All this silence is driving me crazy."

"Oh….is it bothering out that much?"

Yes actually it is Tseng, I want to say, you have no idea how much. Silence always gives me time to think. Time to think usually creates warped scenarios about everything going wrong or right in my life at the moment. Tseng you are one of those things in my life right now and your silence is driving me insane. The only time I like silence is when I'm asleep and even then my dreams have a tendency to get rambunctiously loud. I can't even tell you how many times I've woken up talking in my sleep about squirrels or something.

I've never been one to stay quiet. Not as a kid, not when I worked in those bars, and definitely not now. They say silence is golden but personally I think that's a load of crap. Silence is for people who are more -I can't keep all those thoughts inside of me or I'd fall apart piece by piece. I don't think you want to put the Elena puzzle back together Tseng.

"Yes." I finally replied. "Hehehe…sorry…..I know I talk too much…"

"Only a little…" I saw the corner of his mouth curve up in a half smirk.

"That's funny, sir…"

"Tseng."

"What?"

"It's okay to use my name sometimes…"

"Oops…um you told me that before….…yes sir…"

"Elena…"

"I mean, _Tseng_."

"Yes?"

I laughed. He laughed. Our short lived echoed back at us and bounced off the old stone walls. After a moment we fell into silence for a moment. We turned a corner and continued down the corridor, not saying anything.

I can't help but feel like I'm _missing something._

"So you say you want to talk…."

"Yes sir—Tseng. I'm not sure about what though."

"Hmmm…a dilemma…"

"I guess so. Hah."

Silence.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Um….um….like what? Is it a _personal_ question?"

"It depends on how you look at it I guess..."

"Oh….please don't say that. I have a tendency to freak out." I winced inwardly. Stupid Elena.

"I never noticed."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Of course not."

"Are you sure?"

"Always."

He's great.

"So what's the question….hehehehehe…?"

"Why are you so….nervous?"

"I um …I'm…..I…."

Tseng waved it away. "Relax."

He's said that before. He's always telling me to relax. I can't relax. Not with him. Not with anybody. The most relaxed I've been with anyone that I work with is with Rude.

"Just….a little?"

"Just a little." He confirmed.

The torches became fewer as we turned another corner and came face to face with a stone wall. A dead end. Tseng turned around and I followed. We found an alternate route and found ourselves right back where we started.

Tseng muttered something and frowned slightly. We started up another staircase and found ourselves at a dead end wall covered in thick vines. Climbing them we pulled up on a small stone foot bridge high above the other stairs. Two archways on either end of the bridge led down two different paths. Splitting up, we took both paths only to end up back on the first level before a random new entrance.

Tseng sighed and led the way in. We found ourselves back where we started.

"Sir…maybe the reason we saw no traps is because the Temple drives its victims crazy instead…"

We took a new path and ended up at another dead end. A different path brought us to the main area where we started. A headache began throbbing right at the back of my head, above the nape of my neck. There is no pattern to be seen in how to navigate this place effectively. The temple doesn't need traps…it just let's people wander until they die of exhaustion and starvation doesn't it. Or maybe they just end the torture themselves…

"Do you think we'll ever get out of here?"

My question echoed down a particularly cold, narrow, poorly lit corridor.

"Eventually."

Tseng seemed untroubled, still. Maybe he's just good at containing himself.

"What if we die in here and years from now they find our bones?"

"…."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I've begun to grow used to your idiosyncrasies." He shrugged lightly. "However…next to Reno you're normal."

"Hah! Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We found ourselves back where we started, surrounded by stones and the heads, legs, arms, and torsos of old forgotten statues. Tseng muttered what seemed to be a swear in foreign tongue.

We continued on.

Everything seems to be blending together now. My feet are starting to hurt in these stupid boots and my torch light seems to be getting dimmer with each turn we make

"We should take a break…"

Can he read minds?

I leaned against the wall and slid down into sitting position, drawing my knees to my chest. The slick stone walls were cool against my back; it didn't take long for it to sink through my clothes and onto my skin. I rested my head against the stone and stared across from me at the eyeless statue across from me, shrouded in shadows. Fire danced in a few sconces around us, our own torch lights were merely feeble flickers that made weird shadows on the walls. Tseng was silent beside me.

I stole a glance in his direction. The fire light lit up his skin and cast shadows on his face at the same time giving him an otherworldly glow. His long black hair hung lazily behind him and on his shoulders. His eyes focused on the statue whose eyeless glare stared down at us.

I looked away back at the statue and wondered who she was a depiction of. Some great ancient woman who deserved a statue? Perhaps she was a priest of some sort? Was she anything like that Aerith girl? One of those days in the office I took the time to read up on all of Cloud's friends that had files, including her. I had noticed that Tseng wrote most of those files. He's never talked about her though. Not to me at least.

But why should he? I'm not all that important. I'm nobody.

"It's unlike you to be so quiet…"

I could feel him looking at me but I met his eyes anyway though only for a second before I looked away, back at the statue, and fought the smile tugging relentlessly at my lips.

"Um….I'm just thinking…"

_About you._

The unspoken seemed to linger in the stale air that hadn't been breathed for probably centuries. I know I shouldn't be thinking about him since so many good things are happening to me right now with Rufus but I can't shake the feeling I get whenever I'm around him for too long.

"Care to share?" he quipped. Is he truly curious or is he just saying that to make conversation? It's the first time we've really talked in a while. I don't know how long…I've stopped checking my watch.

I wish I could talk to him like how I talk to Reno and Rude.

"….not really sir. It's all a bit stupid and dull. Nothing that you'd want to hear." I shrugged. That's not exactly a lie. I doubt he'd want o hear my confessions. "So...sir what are you thinking about?"

Unreadable. His hair spilled over his shoulders and hung delicately in his face. Loose strands occasionally brushed his cheek.

I wonder—no…I shouldn't wonder.

"Nothing….relevant…." He seemed to choose his words carefully.

"Oh."

Silence. A yawn struggled to escape, I put a hand over my mouth; it leaked quietly through my fingers.

"Tired?"

"Yes…I didn't sleep well last night. I had a lot to think about…"

"Ahh…."

I guess he can relate. I'm sure there are nights where he can't sleep because he's thinking about something. Maybe his thoughts keep him up at night. I wonder what those thoughts are.

"We should resume our search…"

-vvvv-

The walls lit up with a faint orangish glow and our shadows stretched grotesquely across the stone. The rejuvenated fire cut through the darkness only for it to close in on us as we continued forward. I glanced over my shoulder. Shadows looked back at me threateningly. _Why do I feel like we're being watched?_I glanced over at Tseng. He looked over at me and turned his gaze back to the dark winding corridor ahead of us. I feel a little better with him beside me even though technically there is nothing to be afraid of.

Except for myself maybe and Tseng.

Tseng. He's still a mystery. I'm surrounded by them but he's just one I would love to know more about. I know I shouldn't still feel all giddy when I see him but I do. I wish I didn't. It's obvious that the feeling isn't mutual. He doesn't treat me like a strain on his shirt but sometimes I do feel like he sees me as an unfortunate nuisance that he has to somehow mold into a real Turk. I'm sure everyone feels that way when they compare me to my sister. I never know what to think of him. Sometimes he's mildly warm towards me and other times he acts like he doesn't want to be around me and he can't wait to dismiss me.

I wonder if he'd even bother about attempting conversation with me today if we weren't stuck in here together.

"Sir…?"

"Yes, Elena?" there is that leveled, patient way he talks to me when he's exasperated. I know he's not irritated with me but with the temple itself but…

"Is there…something that I am doing wrong?"

"What do you mean?" he seemed to be only half listening. Maybe I'm just—maybe I should let it go?

Too late for that.

"Well not right now but other times. Sometimes I feel like I've done something to I dunno…like perhaps you don't like me…or..…"

"What?"

His tone said it all. This is stupid. I could have brought up anything like what I had for breakfast (some leftovers that felt like years ago) or I dunno—something a little less polarizing like my illicit whatchamathing with Rude-Knows-Who. Anything but the stupid notion that Tseng holds some reason to dislike me in his heart or something…

He holding a grudge would mean he actually took moments of mental energy to dwell on me. Tseng clearly doesn't think of me often. He probably doesn't think much of me at all.

"Not…necessarily…'like' I guess….but…" my voice faded into darkness. I should keep my stupid thoughts to myself.

"What would give you that idea?" he asked quietly.

"Never mind. I guess I was just…thinking too hard…" I closed out the world around me for a moment.

Stupid. Why did I even say anything? The tension I've been feeling in the air is all in my head. He has no reason to dislike me. I highly doubt he dwelled on my performance at the Mythril Mines or anything and everything has been going fine even though we're completely lost—

"Elena?"

"S-sir?" I opened my eyes.

"Move to your left and hold out your light above your head."

My heart felt like lead and plummeted down into my stomach.

He doesn't care.

Why should he?

Tseng was examining a wall nearby, with his torchlight guiding him. His back was turned to me. On the wall was strange symbols carved into it. We haven't run across anything else like it. Most of the walls were just bare.

"_Elena."_

"Sorry sir…" hastily I backed away towards the other side and raised my torch.

"A little further…" he instructed curtly.

Gah I'm so stupid. We were okay until I let my thoughts get the better of me. Now he thinks I'm crazy or something.

I continued to move backwards until my back grazed the wall behind me.

"Perfect."

I watched quietly as he traced the characters. This is about as useful as I am eh? For him at least? I know I'm a rookie but obviously they saw something in me if they chose me, right?

I dunno. I just for once…I want him to need me—

Suddenly I tumbled backwards, and was unable to catch myself. A scream burst from my lips. I saw Tseng turn around, surprise written across his face. He called out to me. He faded away as darkness clouded my senses and pressed down on me like a blanket. I twisted violently through the air and then slammed onto the ground.

Silence.

I forced my eyes open. My torch was flickering beside me.

"Tseng?"

No answer.

Trap door? Probably.

Great. Just great. It's bad enough that we're lost but then I go and fall through some ancient trap door? Gah. I have to find my way out of here. Wherever 'here' is. Probably one of those stupid corridors again.

"Tseng?" I called out hopefully.

Nothing.

He sounded a little worried when he called my name though. That's a plus. Too bad it'll be a negative when he finds me. If we find each other at all.

"Tseng?" I called out again.

My voice echoed back at me but it sounded distorted and foreign. A chill rushed down my spine. I grabbed my torch and held it ahead of me. The feeble light barely cut through the darkness at all. I took a step forward and my feet bumped something hard, I stumbled and the torch fell from my hands and I was thrust into darkness.

"Great..." I hissed. "Just great..."

Cautiously I stood and moved forward. There was a damp chill in the air. Pushing the thought of using Materia aside, I pulled out my gun and didn't feel a little safer until I heard it click. With my free hand I traced the bumpy stone walls. They crumbled beneath my fingers. There was dampness in the air in this area.

A bit of the wall fell between my fingers and danced across the floor ahead of me.

"T-Tseng?" I called out.

Still nothing.

I hit a curve and began to move a little faster, calling out his name every few breaths.

"Sir?"

I stopped abruptly and listened harder. The sound was light but unmistakable footfalls.

I followed the sound and called him again.

Nothing.

I released a small sigh and paused. I strained my ears for his steps. All I can hear is my own shallow breathing. I started out again hoping to hear them. I can't stand all of this darkness alone. The darkness seemed to lighten a bit as I moved forward. A flickering glow was coming from a nearby corridor. I started down that one and called out to Tseng again.

A shadow streaked across my vision. I stumbled back.

"Sir?" I peered against the heavy darkness that was only pierced by one little flame flickering on the wall like a beacon.

Another shadow streaked past me.

My heart thudded faster in my chest and my fists clenched, my nerves shook violently under my skin. I hesitated before moving forward again towards evenly spaced heavy footfalls. I called out again, hoping he'd answer me and hoping I wasn't just making this one up in my head as well. I drew in a light breath and squinted against the darkness and it stared back at me. I crossed my arms and listened harder, hoping for another footfall. He can't be too far away right?

The steps stopped and then started again.

"Tseng? Sir I'm so sorry I got lost…"

The steps stopped abruptly.

"Sir?"

I peered against the darkness and tried to ignore the nagging feeling at the pit of my stomach. Tseng and I are the only people in here.

Right?

And if anyone else was here why wouldn't they answer me? Maybe Tseng has stopped too, maybe he's trying to make sure he's hearing my trembling stupid girly voice and he's not just hearing things too.

I called again.

No answer. Air brushed against my left cheek. The footsteps seemed to be retreating….in the opposite direction. _Behind_ me.

_That's weird…_

"Tseng, sir?" against my better judgment—a strong, loud resounding NO in the back of my mind—I followed the footsteps. They were heavy foot falls but the person seemed to be light on their feet. Who else would it be? "Sir I'm behind you…"

"Oof!"

Pain thrust into my chest and white burst into my vision. I spun through the air before my back and elbow slammed into the stone. Finally my skull smashed onto the floor. A moment of whiteness flashed across my eyes. Something clattered and slid out of my reach and thudded against the opposite wall. I heard myself groan softly. The pain dulled slightly as the sound of footsteps ebbed away.

_What just happened?_

Ignoring the protests in my body I crawled to my knees and felt around in the dark for my gun. The stone was cold under my shaking fingers until they reached something slick and warm.

_Drip…drip…splat…_

The taste of copper laced my tongue. _Blood._

It oozed down my face from my nose. I felt it trickle over my lips and splatter against the stone. I stayed in this position for a moment, listening to my blood drip and splat onto the ancient stone.

Who or what was that? It definitely wasn't Tseng. It felt—

I have to find my gun. And I hope to find Tseng before it does. Whatever it is. I've got to find my way out of here. I don't like this.

_What was that?_

The sound of bits of rock from a nearby crumbling wall popped onto the floor.

Do I move or simply wait here until he finds me? I can't see anything but darkness and vague shadows. I hate this. I hate feeling helpless and anxious. And where is my gun? It clattered somewhere around here when it flew out of my hands…

_Drip….splat…._

The last thing I need is more blood loss.

I leaned against the wall, tilted my head back, and pinched my nose. I felt blood pour backwards, coating my throat. I closed my eyes against the darkness and swallowed heavily.

There was silence except for my own breathing. How long will I have to wait? What if he doesn't even find me? I can't just sit here…I don't think I could respect myself to just sit here and wait for whatever is coming. I don't think he'd want me to do that anyway. I have to find him but at the same time, what if I get up and just miss him by a few moments? We'll be running around in circles trying to find each other then.

That is…if he's even looking for me.

No. I believe he is looking for me. I doubt he'd abandon me no matter how useless he might think I am sometimes.

What should I do?

I'll figure that out once I find my gun. I can't have hand to hand combat with something that I can't see.

Pulling myself off the wall I released my nose and waited. It is no longer dripping but I bet I look like crap right now. I rubbed my face vigorously for a moment.

_Now…where is that gun?_

My fingers grazed something cold and metal. I swallowed a whoop of victory and snatched it up. _Click._ I feel much better now. I pulled myself to my feet slowly, using the wall as support. My head swam and I felt like I would pass out any second now. The pain that had died came back full force in my abdomen.

I gritted my teeth and took a step forward, and then another. I refuse to let a violent shove get the best of me. Though…whatever it was…it was definitely really strong. I inhaled sharply as another sting of pain ran across my torso. I know that nothing's broken…but that doesn't stop it from hurting way more than it should.

I took another step and gripped my gun and used my free hand to lead me.

"Ahhh!" A twinge of pain blasted across my ribs. My knees cracked against the stone and I felt the metal slip away from my fingers and heard it slide a few inches away.

A soft swear escaped. I closed my eyes tightly against the darkness.

Moving gingerly, I forced myself into sitting position. For a second, my thoughts went back to when Rufus healed me in his office after I hit my head on his desk. That felt like a long time ago. Everything feels like a long time ago in this place. I can barely remember what he looks like—except for those sharp blue eyes.

I shook my head. The last thing I need is to have Rufus on my mind in a situation like this. I bet he's not thinking about me at all right now so I should return the favor.

_Get up._

The pain ebbed away; I grabbed my gun and stood up slowly. I took one step and then another. It's easier this time. I tightened my grip on my gun and put out my free hand until it touched the cold stone wall nearest me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and allowed myself to be led by touch.

_I hope Tseng doesn't hate me too much for getting lost. We were having such a nice time despite the circumstances…_

I turned another corner into more darkness.

_What's that?_

I stopped and listened. The sound of distant footsteps echoed off the walls. I opened my eyes; my heart thudded a little faster in my chest. I tightened my grip on my gun and continued down the corridor a little faster than what was probably wise. I turned another corner.

The blackness around me was suddenly pierced by a dancing orange flame bobbing up and down.

"Tseng?" My voice came out sounding unstable and shrill.

The flame stopped. For a split second worry washed over me. Then his voice rang out, calling my name uncertainly.

_Don't hug him don't hug him don't hug him…_

"Tseng!" I met him halfway. "I'm so happy to see you."

The firelight danced over his face. Apologies and explanations sprang to my lips but I faltered.

"I believe I've found a path that will lead us closer to the Materia. I would have went ahead but I want to find you first—"his gaze glided over my face. A frown creased his brow. "What happened?"

The relief of finding him faded slightly.

"Um…" I explained to him what happened. It was subtle but his demeanor grew tense. He cast a furtive glance over my shoulder, causing the hairs on my neck to stand. His eyes met mine. I felt his hand rest on my shoulder.

"Let's go."

I swallowed and nodded. Is he not telling me something? Something has him uneasy.

Biting back my questions, I followed him. Tseng walked with a purposeful stride, making me feel a lot more secure. He led the way, with only the feeble light of his torch as a guide through endless winding corridors. We reached a passage that split into two directions. Tseng paused for a moment to think and then confidently chose the one to the left. As we walked, the hall lightened, more sconces appeared and I felt a little more at ease. We took another turn and found ourselves back where we started.

The room with all the stairs.

I looked over at him, feeling my eyebrow raise. "Sir?"

Tseng looked over at me, also raising a brow. "We're not lost, Elena."

"Oh...just…wondering."

"You should have more faith in me."

"I'm sorry…"

"I wasn't being entirely serious …" he trailed off.

Duh, Elena duh!

"I knew that…" A small smile tugged at my lips.

Tseng returned a brief smirk then he turned away from me. "The path is a little precarious so be careful..." and with that he walked across toward a steep, crumbling stone wall covered in thick vines.

I stuffed my gun into my pockets and wrapped my fingers around some of them, crushing some of the leaves in my hands. I pulled myself up until my feet were no longer touching the ground. A few bits of rock tumbled past me and clattered onto the ground. I continued on my way up, becoming very aware of the fact that the ground was getting farther away. I reached the top and saw Tseng's hand extended for me.

Warmth rushed to my cheeks. His hair fell gently off his shoulders and hung loosely in his face. My fingers grazed it as I reached for his hand. His fingers curled around my smaller hand and I felt him pulling me upward. I met him halfway and quickly found myself over the wall. He released my hand. I straightened and dusted myself off just to have something to do to avoid looking in his eyes.

Tseng pushed apart some hanging vines a few feet in front of us. There was a stone archway that was shorter than the average person. Despite this observation, I still bumped my head sharply against the entrance.

"Tcshh…" I hissed in pain.

"Something wrong?" I heard Tseng ahead of me.

"No sir…I just um…bumped my head sir…"

We emerged at the base of five large crumbling stone steps; I couldn't see anything past them in the dim, barely-there lighting. Tseng was practically a shadow in front of me with his dark suit and with that long black hair. I just hope we don't run into whoever that was.

With that thought I started up the stairs.

"Stop."

The sharpness of his tone halted me at the top of the stairs. A long bridge-like path lay out in front of me and extended to my right before ending abruptly. A strange blue glow danced on a wall further down the path. Everything else was blanketed in impenetrable darkness. I whipped around to question him only to find him already at my side.

"Look." He nodded in the direction where I'd been looking a moment ago.

Suddenly a loud rumbling filled my ears. The ground vibrated beneath my boots and debris fell around us. A gigantic stone appeared on the path out of nowhere. It rolled towards us, the sound grew deafening and the ground shook violently. The stone passed dangerously close. I suddenly felt very small next to it. More boulders appeared directly behind it at a rapid pace. To get past those would require epic timing and critical thinking.

Crap!

"So I guess they do have traps…" I took several steps backward until the sound was bearable. Tseng had the same idea.

"Tseng how are we—?"

"It's dangerous." Shadows danced on his face, "however, it is possible…"

He told me that after he stumbled onto the area he waited and studied the rocks. They all moved in a predictable pattern and had a six second interval. They also are not shaped like full circles but more like crescents. There is a very large crevice in each rock, large enough to fit a person as it passes over them harmlessly.

"Simple enough?" Tseng asked, eyeing a boulder as it rumbled past.

I swallowed and rubbed my sweaty palms on my pants. "There isn't another way?"

"Very doubtful." He said this all in a matter-of-fact way. "The ancients wanted it this way."

"But sir…if we make a mistake we could get seriously injured…" I trailed off.

"Or we could get crushed to death." He said in a humorless tone. "See to it that you don't mess up."

I looked over at him. He shrugged simply.

"Yes sir…"

I felt the weight of his hand on my shoulder. He gave me a very serious look and for a split second my mind went blank.

"S-sir?"

"Seriously though…"

I nodded feebly.

"I would rather not have to scrape you up off the floor."

Oh.

"S-same with you."

Tseng released me. "Ladies' first?"

A massive boulder rolled past me. Maybe getting flung into walls wasn't so bad. Somehow, I nodded.

Another rolled past and then one more. I counted in my head, the pattern started making sense._It's just an obstacle course!_ Without a second thought I rushed out.

_Focusfocusfocus!_ Everything inside of me screamed telling me to get out of the way of the massive boulder staring down at me. My ankles quaked violently but I held my ground. I flung myself to the ground as it got close enough. A twinge of pain shot through my wrist and chest. The rumbling got louder until it became deafening and I could feel it shaking my core. I braced myself.

Nothing.

I bent myself into a loose crouch and swung my head back to see a boulder rumbling behind me but no indication of Tseng. He can take care of himself. I swiveled around just in time to see the next rushing for me. I stayed in position, tucking my head into my chest. It too passed neatly over me. With a burst of energy I ran forward, rolling through the next two obstacles easily.

I sprinted to the next one and rolled under it. I ignored the burning sensation bubbling across my stomach. With another burst of speed I dived beneath the next two. They're getting faster as I get closer to the blue light. The air I gulped burned at my throat. I broke into as much of a run as possible while staying in a crouched position. I crawled rapidly through the next few boulders.

How long is this going to take?

My back protested. I stumbled; my heel came from under me for a second. I threw my body forward, banging my elbow against the stone sharply and barely making it beneath the stone. I licked my sore lips and forced strands of hair out of my line of sight. I spotted a glimpse of the blue light dancing close to me.

Without hesitation I lunged beneath the next one and forced myself in the opposite direction. I spun through the air for a second and my back slammed into something hard and stationary. I laid there for a moment, my eyes adjusted. Only a few inches away from me, another boulder passed by harmlessly. I reached up. My fingers curled around cracked stone. I inhaled sharply and pulled myself to my knees and my eyes were instantly drawn to what was before me.

A large blue pool of heavenly purplish liquid simmered beneath me. It was self contained in a large stone below- ground tub. There seemed to be a light coming from inside it. I reached forward, my fingers grazed the surface. It was cold and smooth like silk. I pressed my hand further down into it, despite the resistance that was stronger than water. Millions of fragmented agitated whispers filled my ears, drowning out boulders. I felt my eyes close. Snatches of messages clouded my mind.

What are they saying?

"Are you sure you should be touching that?"

My eyes flew open and I whipped around. Tseng was walking towards me and smoothing his suit out. For the most part he looked generally unruffled by the whole ordeal with the boulders.

Something's off…

I looked past him. The path was clear again, the boulders were no longer rolling past. The silence was almost deafening. Realizing that he is referring to my hand in the mysterious pool of light, I tugged it free. My hand is completely dry.

Tseng walked around the pool, studying it. I could see the wheels turning in his head. He stopped once he reached me again and kneeled before the pool. He reached into his pocket and produced a small object that fit into his fist. It took me a moment to realize he was taking a sample for the labs.

As he leaned down, his hair fell off his shoulders, almost grazing the surface of the water. Purplish blue light tinged his skin and gave him an otherworldly glow. He looked up suddenly, meeting my gaze.

"What?" he capped the sample and put it into a little paper sleeve and back into his pocket.

"Nothing …." I looked away into the pool._….._

We were silent for a moment.

"Sir? What do you think this is?" I drew my bottom lip into my teeth. "When I touched it….I heard voices…"

"Really?" his interest was piqued. "What did they say?"

I felt his gaze on me. I forced myself to look up at him. "Well…I couldn't hear them. They were whispering harshly…I could only make out little snatches of words…none of them made any sense."

I feel useless.

"I see…" A small crease folded his brow for a moment. "Oh well…let's move on." He rose to his feet.

I pulled myself up as well and instantly felt lightheaded. What's wrong with me? Other than starvation and exhaustion? I can't let him see me waver; he'll think I'm weak. I don't want to give him another reason to wonder why he decided to recruit me again. I'm sure he wonders that all the time. This is still my redemption for the Mythril Mines incident. I've already wasted our time and ShinRa's time long enough with my getting lost and everything, I don't need to start becoming a damsel in distress now. He wouldn't respect that and I _definitely_ wouldn't.

I caught up with him before he noticed and joined him on the path. I guess it's safe since a big rock hasn't shot out of nowhere and crushed us? At least I did that part right and didn't get smashed into the stone.

There is dimly lit staircase at the end of the path. It is extremely narrow. Tseng went down first, and I followed him closely. We stopped at what seemed to be a dead end but what was really an entrance covered in small easily movable stones. Tseng pressed forward, I followed. Pain trickled across my abdomen, almost as a warning as we moved the final stones blocking out path. Before us was a short corridor, lined with fire lit sconces dancing happily against the slick stone walls. At the end of the path was complete darkness.

Tseng cautiously went forward, I followed. Darkness swallowed us abruptly at the end of the hall. And then slowly little flames began to flicker to life. We were standing at the edge of a circular black void; a few steps forward would send us plummeting to some unknown fate. I inched forward, and peered into the abyss. A piece of stone fell and disappeared into the darkness. I stepped back.

My gaze fell on what was directly across from us. An arched path, similar to the one we were standing in. The flames flickered on the letters grouped together above the entrance. I scanned the cylinder. Eleven rooms, all with different letters grouped together systematically. I've seen those letters before in that format. Those are numbers.

"We'll have to cross those rafters to reach each room individually…" Tseng muttered, almost to himself.

"Do you think there is an alternative …route?" the darkness seems to be looking back at me. I don't want to do this but it's better than dying in here.

"Probably not. The Ancients had a challenge in mind, though so far they've been pretty simple."

"So…what do you think this all means, Tseng?"

He crossed his arms and leaned against the nearest wall. The fire danced around him, gracing his features with shadows and light. I forced myself to look away, back into the pit.

What if he ever realized how I feel about him? He would probably laugh cruelly and point—all in _slow motion_. It's not like I have any control over—

"Elena."

I jumped. "Sir?"

"What does that look like to you?" he gestured in the direction of the room.

"Um…a clock."

He nodded.

"So we have to change time?"

"It seems that way…" He took in the darkness curiously for a moment. "The question is...how?"  
"Well…." I extended the tip of my boot gingerly and pressed down on the edge of the longest hand which was sitting right in front of us. It was stronger than it looked. "I am willing to bet, Tseng, that it has something to do with the center platform." I pulled my foot back.

A shimmer of a smirk danced at the corner of his mouth when I looked over at him. Heat rushed to my cheeks. Slowly, Tseng raised a single eyebrow.

"What, sir?"

"Nothing." He shrugged it off lightly.

"Oh." I wanted it to be something. Anything.

"Let's go." He turned away. His hair swished behind him almost tauntingly.

"Right." I followed.

A heavy but empty feeling fell to the pit of my stomach as I stepped onto the beam. One little slip and I could just fall into it. I wish I didn't have on heels, they could complicate things. What if I do fall? What's down there? Is there even a bottom or will I just keep falling forever? I shouldn't look down. No. I shouldn't look down.

I tore my eyes away from the darkness and my feet moving steadily on in front of the other. Instead I stared at Tseng's back or at the firelight dancing around us in a circle. I drew my teeth into my bottom lip and tasted a little bit of blood. A chill ran down my spine.

_What if it's watching us?_

I glanced behind me and realized too late that this was a bad idea. My gaze connected with the chasm beneath us. A split second later a sharp pain shot across abdomen. My right heel slipped from under me. My ankle twisted uncomfortably and I propelled forward. The weight of gravity tugged at my body; I heard a shriek only to realize it was me. _Nonononono_. The darkness rushed closer.

It stopped.

"Whoa! Steady…" I heard Tseng.

The darkness fell away and warmth spread through my body like wildfire. Short shallow breaths burst from my lips. The warmth of his breathing caressed the side of my face. I forced down the lump—that I'm pretty sure was my heart-back down my throat. _._

Slowly I became aware of the pressure of his grip on me. He's _strong._

"Are you okay?" the question came out as pleasant warm bursts.

I closed my fingers around his back. His hair slipped between them, evading me._Snap out of it._

"Elena?" I felt his grip adjust and found myself looking up at him from arm's length. His fingers wrapped around my upper arms.

I tore my eyes away from the darkness and met his brown eyes. Almost black.

_Stay professional!_

" Um…" I shook my head. I wanted to laugh it off. How can I? I'm both flustered and frustrated.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" my voice bounced off the walls and smashed against them. That wounded way too chipper to be believable. "…um.." I can't look at him right now. "Yeah…just ….a little stumble…" I felt my fingers twitch. "Stupid…heels…"

Liar.

Tseng sighed. "Okay. Let's get this over with then."

We made it over to the platform and barely fit on it together. The surface was clear, revealing clockwork. Tseng stooped down and examined it like he was used to handling stuff like this. He flipped open a tiny hatch that wasn't hard to find while I watched uselessly. He didn't seem ruffled at all by what had happened.

I crossed my arms over my chest. A dull pain throbbed under my crossed arms. I am betting when I examine this thing there's going to be an ugly bruise. I don't really care about that though, right now I feel like a moron for losing my balance like that. Look at him, all efficient and balanced. Was there ever a point in his career when he sucked as much as I do? I doubt that. I mean…gah I can't even walk in a straight line! I can't name _one_ thing that I've done right since we've been here. The only thing that I can think of that's positive is that the Mythril Mines incident is still the worst assignment I've been on. I mean I told opposing forces about classified information. On _accident._

I wonder if he ever questions why he hired me. I mean I'm not as bad as I seem, honestly! I just…I just can't seem to ever get it right. Especially whenever I'm with him. That's why it's so frustrating, because I _know_ I can do it. And this is just a chance to prove it.

"Um…Tseng?"

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking…there's no reason for us both to explore each and every room so...what if I did it? You could control the um…clock's hands…."

"Fine."

That's _all?_ No protest that I might lose my balance and fall to my untimely death? No worry?

"Okay great. Um…..have you figured it out?" I bit my lip for comfort. There is no way I can do this part wrong.

"Actually, yes I have."

"Great…great…"

A reverberation of metal and stone scraping filled the air; the originally stationary hands swiveled smoothly over the darkness and stopped neatly before two openings that were directly across from each other. Without having to be told, I stepped onto the arrow shaped tip of the hand and braced myself.

Don't fall.

That's all I have to do is not fall this time. Tseng won't be there to catch me. I mean this thing is wide enough so that I shouldn't really have a reason to fall. Yes. Just walk. That's all. Just walk at a steady pace…

_Creak._

With an eruption of energy I raced across the platform, arms flailing wildly, slicing through the darkness. I jumped off the beam at the entrance and landed on my feet.

_Clap…clap…clap…_

I spun around. Tseng was watching me and _applauding_. For a second I thought he was serious then I realized the slightly sarcastic pulse behind it. My face burned and a stupid grin tugged at my lips in spite of the situation.

"Thank you, Tseng!" I shouted before I could think.

"You're quite welcome." I heard him laugh softly. I couldn't see his face very well from this distance but I knew he was wearing a simpering smirk.

Victory!

Sort of…

Oh whatever. I'll take what I can get.

I turned back around. The corridor was identical to the one we'd taken to enter this room. It was lined with several flames, giving an overly generous glow to the stones. I waltzed in and found a room at the end of the tunnel. The floor was caked in dirt and there was nothing but an empty open chest sitting on top of an altar. I left and took the other route, this time without running but just walking quickly. There was nothing in this room but a dirty floor and a broken down statue of something unidentifiable.

-vvvv-

"Nothing at all?" Tseng was busy choosing the next direction for me to walk in after four rooms turned up worthless. He didn't bother looking up at me at all, he was back to being strictly business. The air about him is never cold though. It's just serious.

I watched the hands spin into a new place.

"Nope. I'll keep searching…"

-vvvv-

"Only two more to go.." Tseng muttered, almost to himself.

The hands swiveled into place. I held in a sigh, and began to cross them. The good thing is, there is no way that both of these rooms are totally empty and useless. At the same time, that is possible. What if the solution to this puzzle is even simpler than we thought? What if we have to jump down…_there?_

I glanced down. The darkness leered back at me.

Don't look down. That's all I have to do is not look down.

I stepped off the hand and started down yet another identical corridor. The lighting at the end of this one was dim, and barely there. I stepped out of the corridor and darkness closed around me swiftly. The air is damp here. I stood still and listened closely. I could hear little stones falling around me, making little noises as they fell on the dirt covered ground. I drew my lip into my mouth for comfort and continued forward. My boot connected with a large rock. I stood still and peered against the darkness.

I can't see anything.

I retreated and quickly grabbed one of the torches off the wall. My boots crunched the gravel beneath them. It seemed much louder than it should be. I swallowed and shook my head—can't get nervous now but I keep feeling like something is watching me.

The flames revealed several black passages, all completely unlit.

Great. More mazes.

The modest blaze danced on a large stone pillar less than a few feet away from me. I took a cautious step forward, and then another. There was a set of stone steps that led up to a large set of double doors made of rusting metal.

"Yes! This has to be it."

"Good job."

"AHH! DAMN IT!"

"Remind me not to slip up on you again…"

Tseng.

My heart danced wildly in my throat. I inhaled sharply and ignored the burning in my face and whipped around to see him. He was also holding a torch.

"Sir…I was…about to…tell you…"

"You were taking a while…so naturally I figured you'd found something." He explained simply.

"Oh...yeah...of course…" I ran my free hand through my hair. "Um…well look what I found." I led him over to the door and waited for his reasoning. I can't be smug until I know it's actually something.

"…hmm…how do we open it…." I heard him say next to me. Rocks crunched under foot and Tseng's flame bobbed away from me. I watched it disappear for a moment and then he returned.

He sighed.

Yep. Another maze.

We started our search in silence, concentrating solely on getting to our goal. Our flames flickered with a little less life the longer we continued our search. What are we looking for? I'm ready to blow up something. Shadows jumped out and played on the crumbling stone walls. I glanced over at Tseng. He seemed to have his usual demeanor about him but there was a tension in his jaw that wasn't there before. Or at least I hadn't noticed it.

We exited onto another level.

-vvvv-

The fire on my torch is dying. The shadows are beginning to close in and I can barely see less than a few feet in front of me. We have still found nothing. Tseng hasn't spoken a word since we ended up back where we started two times in a row now. We're missing something. We have to be…but there are no levers or anything like that to pull. There was a keyhole though...but where is the key?

-vvvv-

"….Tseng? Did you hear that?"

_Swoosh._ A shadow moved. My heart thudded faster. Tseng didn't respond but I felt him still beside me. _Swoosh._ Pieces of stone clattered around us. A shadow hovered a few feet away from us. Slowly a head and shoulders became visible.

_Bang!_

A gunshot exploded. The shadow collapsed with a soft thud. I looked over at Tseng against the slowly dying firelight. The familiar glint of a black gun shined against the flames. He put it away smoothly and approached the unmoving figure.

What just happened? I watched him stoop over the body. A few moments later he stood and returned to me.

"We have the key now." He was totally calm as if he hadn't just shot some ancient guard in the back. He walked past me.

Is there something wrong with me for finding that more than a bit attractive?

I started to follow him but stopped and peered over my shoulder.

It's gone.

With little effort, we made our way back to the top level where the door was. Tseng unceremoniously slipped the key into the keyhole. There was a resounding click and the doors creaked inward slowly. Bright golden light leaked out, stunning me for a second. I released my torch and let it die peacefully on the ground.

This is definitely it.

The walls seem to be lined with gold and were covered in ancient symbols and hieroglyphs. Dozens of torches lit up brightly colored murals. At the center of the room was a large gold plated chest. I felt Tseng's hand rest on my shoulder. He made a comment, I looked back at him. The heavy tightness that had coiled itself around the pit of my stomach loosened. I feel like turning some flips and screaming at the top of my lungs. But not yet. Not until we get what we came for.

The chest gleamed at us in the firelight, daring us to open it. Tseng traced intricately carved ancient letters that were on top of the chest. Floating above them was a flickering model of the entire temple.

Tseng fell silent; he was busy deciphering what the chest said. I feel useless now. I can't just stand here and stare at him though this does feel like the first time that I've looked at him properly since we entered this place. He seems a little fatigued.

He looked up at me, meeting my gaze. Quickly I looked back at the wall and tried to focus I bit my lip and looked walls. Maybe there's something worth seeing on them….it's better than sitting here staring at him.

Silence.

I rose to my feet and looked around. The paint was smooth under my fingers. I traced a few carved ancient letters with my nails. What does this mean?

The flames crackled loudly around us. A little bead of sweat trickled down my neck. The heat bounced back and forth off the golden walls and made the paintings seem extremely bright.

They all seem to be looking in the same direction…

My eyes are heavy, and a headache is forming right between them. I don't know how long it's been since I've slept but now that we're standing still…I feel like every inch of my body is screaming for rest. I want to sit down. But I can't…that would seem unprofessional.

A cluster of torches danced near the end of the mural where the wall connected with the next.

The painted eyes of the ancients were all gazing upward, in the same direction towards and oddly shaped—_something -_falling from the sky. I opened my mouth to call Tseng but felt him take his place beside me. He studied the mural for a moment.

"Do you think we can find the 'Promised Land' with this?"

The flames danced around us and hissed.

"I wonder. Look…" he ran a hand through his hair and sighed softly. "I need you to go contact the President."

"Why?"

That means I would have to leave the temple.

"I need you to inform him of what we've discovered. The ancients let us get this close to the Black Materia….however…."

"Yeah?"

"I believe the temple will crush us if we retrieve it."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. That's why I need you to inform Rufus of this."

"Sir…you're going to ….stay in here by yourself?"

The last thing I want to do is leave him in here by himself. Also, I'd rather not walk around trying to find the exit by myself either. Who knows how long that would take?

"Yes." He waved it off. "There is a lot in this room that needs to be understood…" he looked around thoughtfully. "….I'll still be here when you return. There is no reason for both of us to leave."

I nodded. "Well…." I bit my lip and stuffed my hands in my pockets. "Be careful, Tseng." I forced myself to look up at him.

"Yeah…" Tseng crossed his arms and looked away from me, back towards the murals. His gaze traveled over the wall for a moment. "Hey Elena…." he seemed to be choosing his words with caution.

"Sir?"

"How about….dinner…. after this job is over?"

_What?_

What does that even _mean_? Am I still conscious? That's it. I've got to be dreaming this. Tseng isn't standing right beside me waiting on an answer to that question with those lovely chocolate eyes. Nope. Not possible. I should pinch myself and make sure—no that'd be weird if this is real. He'd think I was crazy then. But—maybe just maybe he's actually asking me_this_ question. He probably doesn't mean anything too shocking by it. I mean it's not like he's asking me out on a…romantic thing I mean…that'd be crazy. I mean…it'd be crazy on his part anyway. I'd say yes.

I mean…there is no way. There is _no way_that Tseng is…asking me out on a…a whatchamathing. Tseng. Tseng my boss. Tseng my commander. Tseng. The one that probably thinks I need my head scanned is asking me…

It must be like a victory thing. A friendly thing. Yes. A business thing. Yes. Yes….that's what it is. Tseng thinks it'd be nice to let loose after suffering in this hole with me for hours. Ahh! That's all it is. Yes. Tseng could never be attracted to this crazy—

I better answer him before he thinks I've suddenly lost connections with my brain!

Words tumbled out of my mouth.

"…thank you very much…sir…..if I may be excused…."

* * *

Sunlight blasted sharply into my eyes. It took a moment for them to adjust. The sun was high in a sky splashed with streaks of purple, gold and blue. The forest in the distance swayed easily in the breeze. I took the stairs three at a time, and it still seemed to take forever. When I reached the ground I took out my phone and stared at the blank screen. It wasn't until I crossed the bridge that it made a sound. It lit up as soon as I reached the edge of the forest.

And told me that I had 2 missed calls.

Both from Rufus.

A _day_ago.

A dense white haze hug over the trees, giving the sun an otherworldly glow. Random branches and stones jutted out of it in every direction. I can't see more than a few inches in front of me.

I leaned against a tree. The leaves rustled gently, thin beams of sunlight shined through them. I closed my eyes for a second, and took a deep breath. Everything that happened in the Temple came back to me. I'd forced myself not to think about what Tseng asked me as I found my way out of the temple but what about after this job is over? I'm going to have give him an answer aren't I? And I'm not sure what that answer should be. I want to say yes. I've waited on him to ask me something like that but I never thought it was possible and now suddenly he just asks me? Was he thinking about it the entire time? But I thought that he believed that something was going on with Rufus and me? Or did he actually believe me when I denied it last time? Or….maybe he didn't mean it like that at all...

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think.

Maybe…yeah...he was just being friendly. Nothing too serious…

I opened my eyes and found a bird looking down at me from a nearby branch. I looked away from it and looked off across the foot bridge again. A wave of worry washed over me; I don't feel comfortable leaving Tseng inside of that Temple alone. I pushed a button and watched the screen intently, wondering if it would work. Half of me didn't want to hear Rufus's voice on the other end of the call.

I feel incredibly guilty all of a sudden.

After the fifth ring, someone picked up. There was silence for a moment and then Rufus's voice on the other end, bluntly asking what happened earlier and why we didn't call him back. He was in business mode. No sweet nothings to whisper in my ear. I explained to him about our phones literally dying as soon as we crossed the bridge.

"….convenient…." came his response.

I can see him sitting at his desk…or maybe walking around his office…or maybe standing at the window looking out while my voice talks to him on a speakerphone. Or maybe directly in his ear. He's looking over the city, his cold blue eyes not lingering on anything for too long. He has a slight frown on his face. Maybe.

"And where is Tseng?" he asks. Does he know something? Maybe he knows something. No he can't possibly know something. He's not psychic.

"Um…still inside of the Temple, sir."

An animal called in the distance. The trees disappeared into a foggy early morning haze after a while. I couldn't see anything past a few feet. Rufus was silent for a moment.

"And why is that?"

"He decided to stay behind. He is still gathering information in the room…we think we've found something about the um…Promised Land? And um…well we think we've found a chest that contains the Black Materia but well…"

"There is a problem."

"Yes….something about the temple crushing whoever opens it…."

A twig snapped nearby. _Voices._

I ducked behind the tree and pressed my body against it, while still holding the phone firmly. The voices got closer. Grass was crushed under foot. I held my breath and closed peered hard through the dense fog. Nine distinct figures emerged from the fog. They got closer; I pressed myself against the tree and hoped no wandering eyes would notice me.

I don't want to screw this up.

They got closer until I could see them vividly. They were barely inches away as they passed by me. One little move and I could touch them. I released a sigh and received a shock. One of them had stopped for a moment and looked around. The girl in the pink dress, Tseng called her Aerith. The Ancient. She looked around; none of her party seemed to notice. Her eyes met mine. My fingers grazed my gun.

I heard Rufus's voice ask me a question. I didn't move.

Then wordlessly she turned back around and caught up with her party without looking back. Her long brown braid danced behind her.

"Elena did you hear anything I just said?"

"No sir—"

"Elena, I said—"

"Rufus. Cloud and his friends have arrived. I have to go."

I don't want Tseng to have to face them alone. Then again…there is no way they can get inside of the temple without the key so I don't have much to worry about? Right?

"I have something to take care of. Contact me if anything changes."

"Of course…." I ran a hand through my hair. Should I say something else? Maybe tell him to have a nice morning? Ask him if he missed me? I won't say anything. I'll keep it professional and cold like he has already established. I don't want him to hang up though.

"Is there anything else?"

"Um….not really."

Silence.

"Be careful, Elena."

"I…of course. Thank you."

He hung up. I stared at the screen for a moment. Why do I feel like I should have said something more than that? He told me to be careful. Somehow I just wasn't expecting that. That's refreshing. Heh…I guess I better get going. I have things to take care of; I can't leave Tseng in there by himself, especially with Cloud and his friends here. Not that they'll actually be able to get into the temple without the key. As a matter of fact—how will I get back in?

I didn't think this through.

With a small sigh I stuffed the phone into my pocket and turned back towards the bridge. It feels like a long time since Tseng and I had crossed this bridge and went into the temple in the first place. I guess when we get back to headquarters we'll report and do all the necessary protocol and then everything will be right back to normal. I don't want to be back sitting at my desk feeling useless. But what about the whole thing with Tseng? If I can even call it that. If I say yes will it change anything?

Probably not. Nothing is going to change. He didn't mean it like that, it's that simple.

I made it across the bridge and continued on without looking back. A feeling of urgency burned in my throat as the Temple hovered ominously over me, daring me to go back inside. Inhaling sharply I forced myself to continue towards the long stone staircase that would take me to the entrance room. I placed my foot on the first step and glanced behind me. The forest waved back at me. Sunlight danced on the treetops.

I can't shake that feeling like something is wrong. Maybe I'm being paranoid? What am I supposed to do if I get up there and Cloud and his friends are looking down at me? Shoot them in the face? Do I have enough bullets? Maybe they'll just ignore me.

My pace quickened, I stretched myself and started to take them three at a time. Suddenly I reached the top. Firelight danced on the stone walls, casting fallen pillars into shadows and lighting up the altar. I took a cautious step forward; my heels resounded loudly and echoed against the stone.

No one is here.

Something isn't right.

Where are they? Shouldn't they be up here? There is no way they got inside. The key into this place just seems like one of those things that would have '_do not duplicate_' etched on it. Where are they then? What if—

Something just _moved._

I stopped abruptly. Near the altar there was a figure slumped over against the wall, half hidden by the flames.

"Tseng?"

No….. why would Tseng be in here? Why would he leave the mural room? That can't be Tseng.

It can't be.

I found myself on my knees beside him. His hair hung freely down in his face, obscuring it. His hands were over his stomach, almost protectively. Scarlet gleamed in the firelight over his white fingers. _Blood._ No this doesn't make sense. This doesn't make _any_ sense. Tseng was in the mural room. Why is he—why is he bleeding?

"S-sir?" My voice cracked pitifully. Why isn't he responding! "Tseng please…" I pushed the sheet of hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. Shadows danced on his face, his skin is ashen and covered in a thin layer of sweat. "Tseng…"

This isn't right! He's not supposed to be_injured_. What am I supposed to do? How bad is it? What should I do? What should I do? I can't think straight. This isn't supposed to be happening. He's supposed to be inside of the temple. Where are Cloud and his friends? Did they somehow jump him, take the key from him and go inside _leaving him here_ to die? Why is this happening—?

Tseng lifted his head slowly; his gaze met mine through narrow slits. Sharp breaths came from between his lips which were drawn in a tight line.

"…Tseng…what's going on?" I whispered. "I-I saw those…I saw Cloud and his friends come up here…no Tseng answer me please—what am I supposed to—"

He looked away from me. His hair fell back into his face as his head slumped against his chest limply.

"Sir—Tseng I can...I can heal with Materia—"A shrill voice bounced off the walls. Is that me?

He shook his head; a grunt escaped him; and he clutched his chest. Blood leaked over his fingers in a steady stream; it trailed down the front of his hand and dripped into black bloody puddle that pooled on the stone.

This is _bad._ What am I supposed to—?

I have to snap out of it!

No one else can help him right now.

He _only_ has _me._

I got him to lie down on his back. His hair fanned out around him, his hands rested protectively over his wound. He opened his eyes barely and looked up at me. I looked down at his blood covered hands.

"Tseng…I forgot to tell you..."

Talking helps.

I can do this.

My hands are shaking as they take his and move them to his sides. They quickly get sticky and wet with blood that I cannot see thanks to the darkness of his jacket. "…I got in contact with ….him…" my voice trembled. I hate myself right now. Why can't I be stronger than this? "And um…"

He's _watching_ me.

"…..I told him the problem we—we—"My fingers curled around the zipper of his suit jacket. I tugged it, pulling it down, revealing the white dress shirt underneath with each tug. "…we...had—um he said he'd…take care of it—I think….I can't really…remember—that all feels—"I reached the end of the slider and pushed the jacket apart. "So long ago…"

_Oh gahd._

_More_blood. The fresh coppery smell filled my nose. The shirt was practically completely soaked in it. A weird noise met my ears; I realized it was me _whimpering._

"Sir…how did this…." I shoved my hair out of my face. "…why did they…" What am I talking about? Does that really matter why? What matters is that…

I looked up, meeting his eyes; they glittered darkly against the firelight. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I found myself touching the side of his face, trying to tell him something. What could I possibly say—?

He averted his gaze; he grimaced and turned his head to the side.

Talking helps…_if I don't talk…_

More blood leaked from the wound, pouring out of the hole in his shirt and creating a new pool on the floor with each splatter. _He'll die without me._ I pulled my lip into my teeth and bit down hard, drawing my own blood. My hands shook violently. I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt—my face burned-

_Gah!_

I clumped the fabric in my fists; the weakened soaked fabric tore easily like paper and fell away to the sides revealing the contours of a well-defined chest. I ignored the burning in my face and focused on the wide violent gash at his side. His chest rose and fell sharply. With each beat of his pulse more blood pooled in a dark puddle on the floor. It glistened in the firelight, daring me to stop it.

I pressed my left palm hard against it, applying pressure. It was warm and clammy against my palm. Some of it leaked free beneath it in several little streams, desperate to escape. With my free hand I loosened and removed my own tie and shrugged out of my jacket and made a wad out of it and pressed it hard against the wound. This should help…it _has_to….

_What now?_I just sit here and hope for the best? Hope that the President actually had the foresight to send someone over?

Seconds ticked by. I glanced up at Tseng's face. His hair was covering his face again. I reached up and pushed it away, grazing his skin and smearing a thin line of blood across his cheek. His eyes are closed. He doesn't respond to my touch.

"Tseng ….don't worry you'll be okay…I don't know how I know this but I do…I just do…" my voice quavered painfully. "…I mean….he knows we need…assistance….and….?"

Silence.

Fire crackled behind me; an orange glow and darkness framed his face. I glanced over my shoulder, the shadows seemed to move. I stared back down at him, biting my lip and pressing harder on the wound.

What am I supposed to do now? Why did this have to happen? Someone stabbed him. _They_ stabbed him and then left him and made off with the key. They're inside of the temple right now taking what we came for. None of that matters right now—

_"Tseng?"_

_

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_

-vvv-

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_**GW08**__: Well well well!_

_I'd appreciate reviews. I'd love to know everyone's thoughts out there mainly about my action scenes and that final scene there. I've never written scenes like those in first person point of view. Tell me how they worked out for you. Not to mention I just want some love! I've missed you guys! I know I've got a few new readers during these long 9 or so months and I'm sure I lost some…either way I'd love to hear from you as always. I'm wori worried about how I handled the final scene for this chapter-did I do it justice? Review time! ^.^_


	27. Powerless Tenacity

v

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**Chapter 27**

Powerless Tenacity

* * *

Nearly two hours have passed since I decided that help wasn't coming and I had to leave Tseng alone to fetch the helicopter that was still sitting quietly on the shoreline. It took me twenty minutes to run down those steps and through that forest to get to it, it took me another ten to fly it close enough to the Temple. There's a large scar on the side of the helicopter where stone from the temple's steps scraped off paint. Then it took several moments to help him stand and allow him to put most of his weight on me as I walked him to the helicopter.

The flight felt like it took even longer. Flying was nearly impossible. It felt like years since I'd seen that gloomy Midgar sky and civilization. It took only a few moments for me to realize that the help that I decided not to wait on had just passed by me in the air. Two helicopters flying in the direction that I had just come from. It took seconds for Tseng to be taken away from me by medical staff and for me to be left alone.

It feels like a lifetime since I've been in this in this building and in this office.

Everything feels _foreign_.

I shouldn't be in a place so stable and clean after what just happened. There's no waiting room in the medical ward and I didn't _want _to wait. The thoughts were too much, I felt like I was going to shatter into a million pieces if one more doctor rushed past me without telling me anything.

So I came up here.

I can still smell the metallic scent of his blood. I can see it on my hands which are balled up into fists on my lap. It's under my nails and on my shirt. There is a clock ticking behind my head—I didn't even know there was a clock in here. Across from me is an empty chair and behind that chair are large semi-grey clouds obscuring the sun completely. The only thing separating me from the sky is that window.

I'm _freezing._ Has it always been so cold up here?I would have noticed right? I've been up here a thousand times but…it seems different. Where is he? It's been thirty minutes.

"Elena?"

My heart leapt into my throat; I whipped around and brought myself to my feet.

And here he is, standing at the door with a slightly confused frown gracing his perfect face. He's unmarked and uninjured and as handsome as ever. I'm dirty, tired, and covered in someone else's blood.

I haven't seen him for days; I missed him, I think.

"Rufus—"

"What are you doing up here?"

Valid question. He's right, what am I doing up here? He didn't tell me to come up here. I made the decision on my own. I thought—I don't know what I thought. I should leave. He doesn't need me up here right now bothering him. He has a lot to take care of. Yes, I should go. I shouldn't have come up here anyway.

"Elena?"

"I—I don't know…"

"What?"

"I guess I thought—"

This is going badly. I can't look at him right now. I'm just going to leave. Where am I going to go? Home? I don't _want_ to go there. I don't want to be alone right now. But he doesn't want me here. I don't know what to say—it'll sound ridiculous and pathetic if I told him that I thought he'd—I'd dunno…

"Elena."

I'm such an _idiot._

"….I'll go. I'm sorry." I muttered, averting my gaze and walking past him for the door.

"Elena, stop." I felt his hand grip my upper arm. What now? He'll want to know the details of the events that took place after I hung up won't he? I don't want to talk about that. Not right now.

"Sir….." I turned around to face him. He released me.

"Explain." he isn't smiling or smirking. There isn't mischief dancing in his eyes or anything. Just a bit of the usual chilliness and _something _else. I can't tell what he's thinking at all.

"Well I…"

I feel guilty. And I'm not sure why I'm up here. I just…

"Elena…" he sighed, "just go."

Go?

"Go where? You just told me to stop—"

He held up a hand to silence me. "Go. Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

He's dismissing me?

"What?" I stepped back, out of his reach. "No. I can't go home. There is something I could be doing. Writing up the report—explaining what happened—or anything."

"Elena, all of that can wait until tomorrow. You are in no condition to be of use to anybody—"

Is he taking pity on me? Or does he just not want me in his office?

"I'm _not_ leaving."

Rufus frowned and opened his mouth to respond but his phone rang. He answered it smoothly, as if the tension around us didn't bother him. Of course it doesn't bother him, _nothing_ bothers him. What happens once he ends that phone call? What is he going to say?

This was a bad idea.

I can't even do this right.

Rufus placed the phone on his desk and leaned against it and crossed his arms.

"Elena, if you are incapable of driving yourself home, I can have a car pick you up at my private entrance." He said in a tone that was both dismissive and definite. Saying anything would change nothing.

This isn't what I wanted. I didn't mean to get on his nerves. I just wanted…I wanted...…I don't know what I wanted from him, whatever it is; he's in no position to give it right now. What was I expecting by coming up here and practically inviting myself into his office while he was away? I don't know. I just don't _know_.

"…..I…..I can drive myself."

"Fine." He seemed unconcerned and preoccupied.

"Okay. I'm sorry…" I turned on my heel and headed for the door.

Wait.

"Tseng is he…" I faltered.

"In surgery."

"Oh." I can feel his gaze hard on my back. I should be relieved but how can I be?

"Thank you."

**

* * *

**

Chunks of broken glass glittered back at me from my spot on the couch. There is stiffness in my neck and my head aches. I don't remember how I got here. One leg is flung over the back of the couch and the other is at an odd angle under me. One arm is on my stomach and the other is grazing the floor, dangling closely to the shards of glass. I don't remember falling asleep. All I remember is coming into the apartment and—I slapped whatever that was off the coffee table. It didn't make me feel better then and it doesn't make me feel better now. I'm pathetic.

It's past eight o'clock in the evening. That means that several hours have passed since I returned to Midgar.

_Knock._

Go away. I don't feel like standing up. I'm unfit to talk to anybody. Who could be knocking anyway? Nobody wants to see me. Besides, I don't want anyone to see me like this. Rufus already saw it. I don't want—why do I have to be so _weak?_

"Elena?"

I forced myself upright and looked towards the door. Standing between the door and the hall was Rude, fully dressed in uniform and sunglasses. He just came back from the office then, probably from an assignment. But how did he—

"Your door was half open and you left the key in it." Rude shrugged apologetically. He placed the key on the side table near the door to punctuate the point.

"Oh." I tried to smile. I can't even lock my own door properly. "Thank you, Rude."

Silence.

He makes a move to leave but hesitates.

"Rude you—"

"Are you….okay?"

I stared at my lap. Now he's been caught in this. How can I answer that? Am I okay? He already knows the answer to that so he's only asking as a courtesy.

"….no Rude. Would you be okay?" I'm sure they all know what happened to Tseng. "It's my fault..."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes."

"…..why?"

"Because it's true. I can't do anything right. _Anything!"_

"….."

"I should be the one in surgery with a hole in me. I should be the one. I hate this so much. Why am I so _damn _incompetent? _Every time _I try to prove myself and try and get something right…bad things happen."

"…."

"You were there! You _saw _how I screwed up that job at the Mythril mines! And this time…he could have_ died_ and it would have been my fault. I told myself that I'd do better and I did worse! I don't know how he tolerates me!"

"Elena, I don't think—"

"Oh my gahd I bet he knew all along. He knew I had feelings for him. I still do! Every time he looked at me and whenever he'd say anything to me—and his eyes oh his eyes—I like eyes. They are my favorite feature on people. Even in that hellhole, just being beside him—I swear my heart skipped a beat…do you know how hard it's been for me? I never wanted to like Tseng like that it just happened even though he acted like he didn't really pay attention to me—and I always just pushed the thought away because it couldn't ever happen because—I'm not that great and then right before I leave him behind he asks me to dinner. Me!"

"Um…."

"What was I supposed to say? I wanted to say yes—you have no idea how badly I wanted to say yes but I ran off like a moron. Not to mention I've been having a—_thing—_with Rufus Shinra. Even saying that out loud makes me want to scan my own head. It is a relief that someone knows—"

"Elena…this is—"

"—but I don't know what the hell I'm doing! I'm so confused with him! I call him my whatchamatcallit, isn't that sad? I've invested about what? Some months of my life at ShinRa having this illicit _thing_ and I don't have a name for it. He never gives me a straight answer—sometimes I think it's a one sided thing and he's not as invested in it as I am. I hope that's not true! He's the one that started this! I've spent countless nights thinking about it. I like him a lot but I just—he drives me insane! He's impossible! I keep feeling like I'm missing something and he won't tell me what it is. And after all those times that I skipped lunch with you guys to see him—heck I spent the night at his place a few nights ago and it feels like a long time ago—"

"….."

"—nothing _happened _ but I did feel closer to him that night. Gah! I'm so sick of the secrets but—we know I can't do anything right. I can't shut up, I can't keep secrets, I can't even—and when did I become miss popularity? How in the hell did I end up having Rufus Shinra seducing me and Tseng inviting me to dinner? I don't deserve it. I don't understand what's going on. When I took this job I only worried about being compared to my sister and forcing down that nasty crap at bars with you guys would deem me worthy to invite out—"

"Elena…"

"-I know I worked at a bar but I hate beer…. I hate the way it tastes, and I hate being drunk. Can you blame me?"

"No…"

"I blame me. I've gotten myself wrapped up in an undefined _whatever _with Rufus of all people and I suck at the job that I get paid to do. I'm nothing like her am I? She wouldn't have ever—"

"Don't do that to yourself—"

"_What_ am I supposed to do?"

Silence.

Oh gahd. What just happened and when did I stand up?

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean…"

I feel so exposed. So stupid. What am I doing?

He's so uncomfortable right now. I know he is. I can't even look at him.

I slipped back down onto the couch and buried my face in my hands. I exhaled slowly. It doesn't make me feel better. Nothing can make me feel better.

"Rude…you can go…sorry…" I heard myself say through my fingers.

The door closed. Good call. I would have left me too. I'm pathetic—

"I think I'll stay for a while, if that's okay with you." I felt him drape his arm around my shoulder.

"Rude you don't have to…" I stared at my lap. "I'm surprised I didn't…run you off…" I whispered, "And where is Reno anyway?"

He chuckled, mostly to himself. "Still at the office."

"What aren't you telling me?" I drew my bottom lip into my mouth and chewed on it. Did something terrible happen? No if something terrible happened he wouldn't be laughing—that would just be wrong.

Rude adjusted. "Well….let's just say that for the time being…you'll have to answer to Reno."

"You serious?"

"Would I joke about something like that?"

Wow.

I found myself resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes. He smells lightly of soap and he's really warm.

Silence.

"…Rude?"

"Yeah?"

"….what am I supposed to do?"

"I think you're the only one that can answer that Elena…" he trailed off, "but I can offer some advice…"

I looked up at him. His sunglass-shielded gaze is focused on the window in front of us, most of it which is blocked by the flat screen television that came with the apartment. I haven't even gotten to use that thing yet. Everything has just been so crazy. I feel weird now, like a weight has been lifted. But how long until that weight comes back? I'll have to go back to work tomorrow...and then what? What am I supposed to do?

"Yeah?"

"Just try to go about business as usual…don't you have another assignment anyway?"

"Oh...yeah...I almost forgot about it…"

I fell silent. I have a lot to think about tonight don't I? I didn't mean to explode all of that mess on poor Rude, but he took it better than he should have. He's such a nice person. At least I didn't cry in front of him. That would have been unforgivable. He's right though, I will have something to take my mind off of what just happened, I'll just throw myself into my work and try to actually do something that will benefit the company and…try to figure some things out. That's what Tseng would want me to do.

We remained silent. I stared at the blank flat screen of my television. Should I ask him if he knows anything about Tseng's condition? Or should I just wait until tomorrow? He probably doesn't know either. Maybe he does. But maybe I don't want to know anything right now.

A ringing phone pierced the silence. Who is it? Someone for me?

Of course not.

"Reno?" Rude adjusted himself. He didn't respond very much, he just listened to Reno running off at the mouth on the other end of the call. "Okay." He snapped the phone shut.

"Um…if you have to go that's okay…." I sat up. He can leave if he wants, I really want to take a shower anyway, I'm starting to become very aware of the fact that I still have blood on me and I'm in the same clothes I've had on for two days. Then there's that niggling pain in my abdomen whenever I move a little too much.

"Actually he was calling for you."

"Really? Well that doesn't make any sense….why didn't he just call my phone?"

"Well…" Rude chuckled warmly. "He apparently didn't want to see you in person or hear your voice just in case you were crying."

A laugh bubbled up in my throat, but didn't find its way out. "Really?"

Somehow…that's really touching. Reno actually called in to see how I was doing? Or maybe he called to make sure the coast was clear so he could avoid me. Either way, I never once thought about crying though. I don't cry very often, despite whatever Reno might believe. I think the last time I shed a tear was—

"Yeah. He's on his way here." Rude shifted in his seat and adjusted his glasses with his free hand.

Silence.

"Oh well…okay. Thanks for listening Rude…and suffering through that…you were an innocent bystander…" I pushed my fingers through my hair.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I waved him off, "yeah yeah…"

I want to believe that I'm overreacting. But admitting that I've been overreacting makes me feel even worse, admitting that to myself makes me hate myself even more. I don't see how I can get over this though, yeah talking—ranting—to Rude made it better but…once he leaves how am I going to be able to handle it? Who says I won't shatter into a million pieces? My mom always said that a nice bath and some sleep can help make anything seem clearer the next day—but I can't bring myself to break out the scented candles and bubble bath and rose petals. Somehow that just seems inappropriate right now. Not to mention I don't deserve any comforts right now.

"Alright then…" Rude stood up, dusted himself off, and adjusted his sunglasses. "….I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks again, Rude." I looked up at him and managed to get a smile to pull at my lips. "That name just doesn't fit you...I still say you're anything but."

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, "still not funny." a smile twitched at his lips.

Rude left with one more 'see you tomorrow' thrown in for good measure. I watched him close the door but didn't make a move to go and lock it. I drew my knees up to my chest and leaned against the back of the couch. Only a single light is on, sitting near the front door casting everything in a weird orange glow. It makes me think of the temple and that poor dim lighting.

I raked my hands through my hair again and glimpsed a darkened stain on my hand. Blood.

Without another thought I pulled myself off the couch and headed for the bathroom.

In the mirror, against white artificial light—the kind that doesn't allow you to hide anything with a pretty glow—I saw a strange looking girl peering back at me through a mane of hair in desperate need of washing. Her skin is pale, there's blood streaked on her face and clothes, and there are shadows under her eyes. She looks tired and like she's been through a lot. She looks terrible. She understands now why her boss thought she was in serious need of some down time.

I made eye contact with the girl and instantly looked away.

I don't want to look at myself right now.

This shirt is covered in blood—it's no good to me now. I tore it off and threw it onto the floor. I took another glance at the mirror. Across my stomach as a large ugly purplish blue bruise. I thought back to what happened when I got lost in the temple, tiny pinpricks of pain throbbed beneath it in response.

"Well….Elena…you got what you wanted didn't you?" I frowned, rolled my eyes at myself, and glanced down the bruise again. "You _wanted_ an action and you got some…hope you're happy…"

**

* * *

**

Policy is such an ambiguous term that can let people get their way and make up rules on the sly. Policies are also meant to have loop holes. These holes give people like me an escape from having a complete stranger in a neat suit with a judgmental gleam in their eye and a spiffy notepad and pen probe their brain. At ShinRa, I learned today from Reno, I am required to see the company psychiatrist after an event like 'that' on the job so they can sign off on whether I've snapped or not. His exact words about the matter was 'some ole' bulls—t'. He's definitely not Tseng.

I don't know what Tseng would have told me about the policy but Reno told me just to go and explain to the good doctor (his words. I get the feeling he has had to be profiled by them before) that I am totally capable of handling the stress of the job so please (meaning 'you will or else') sign off on it so I can get back to that super important job.

"Here you go….sign here….and here…"

I took the shiny silver pen from her hand and scribbled my name as fast as possible then looked to her for instruction. She slipped the pen from my hand gingerly as if she expected it to explode or for me to bite her hand off and briskly signed in two places. She's done this many times before I can tell.

She flipped the sheet. "And here."

I tried to give her a smile but she didn't respond. She seemed confused by it. I signed again and then watched as she stamped all three sheets and slipped them into a large envelope that she'd do something with later.

"Thank you, have a nice day," she said almost automatically.

I muttered a goodbye and left for my office.

Watching my own feet is easier than passing by Tseng's office and looking at that closed door and knowing that he's not in there. The further I get from it as I walk down the hall, the more I want to look over my shoulder and make sure he's not there.

I have an assignment waiting for me in my office. Reno told me that the Weapons Department had been put under investigation but neither of them had the time to move it forward. I thought a security breach would be a big deal but apparently there are more pressing matters that need to be done when they aren't babysitting Toddler Turk (Reno's newest nickname—how depressing).

I don't think I can handle looking into it right now. How can I be introduced into the wonderful world of interrogation and stuff when I can't even get my own thoughts straight?

Something else is waiting for me also: putting together a report about what happened at the Temple of Ancients. I just don't want to revisit that right now.

Rude and Reno's offices are closed. Maybe they went to go do something. I don't know. Rude might be in there but I don't want to bother him and Reno must not be in his office because ne never closes his door otherwise—just like me.

Some air would be nice.

The sky is a light grey color, and everything is cast in a weird shadowy glow. The air is just sitting in one spot, leaving a slight damp chill hovering around me. I do remember it raining last night when I fell asleep in front of the TV after I woke up in the middle of the night. The city below is cast in a dense grayish white haze. Such a pretty sight.

My mind just won't shut up. All of my thoughts keep chasing each other in a circle. I just want some peace and quiet. I remember when Tseng and I were out here and I gave him coffee. I was such an idiot but he didn't seem to mind. He _tolerated_ me. That's more than just a little depressing.

I exhaled slowly and leaned against the railings, wrapping my fingers around it tightly. I remember standing on the balcony outside of Rufus's office all the way up on the 70th floor…and he walked behind me wrapped his arms around me. Oh man that feels like so long ago—

"You really like him, huh?"

What?

Reno appeared beside me, holding two steaming foam cups. His eyes seem more green than blue in this light. He nudged me and slipped one of the cups into my hand. "I got it just how you like it…with lots of cream and milk. Guess this is our spot, eh?"

"Wait what? Like who? And um….thank you? How did you know that I like my coffee like this?" I sipped it. It's overly sweet with a slightly bitter aftertaste. Perfect.

Reno shrugged and propped himself up on the railing, using his free hand and his feet to keep him steady. "I notice things like that…little details…"

Oh. Well I guess that makes sense. He is a Turk and he somehow is next on the leadership ladder so I guess—should I call him sir? Somehow I don't think he'd like that very much. He'd probably throw me off the building.

"Um…so where is Rude?" I don't know how I feel about him joining me out here. It's nice that he thought to bring me coffee though. All I had for breakfast was the leftovers from two days ago. It was something unidentifiable. Ugh.

"He had some work to do…" he waved it off.

"Shouldn't you be working too?"

"I could ask you the same thing, besides I _am _working. Can't ya tell?" he winked.

"If you say so. You're the boss…" I looked away, back towards the city and took another sip just to have something to do.

"Which reminds me." Reno jumped off the rail and I felt his arm slip around my shoulder. "You really like him, eh?" he smells of coffee and a lingering scent of a cigarette.

Drawing my lip into my teeth, I didn't answer. I lifted the cup to my lips again but put it right back down. "I'm not answering that, Reno."

I can feel him staring at me. Reading me.

"….you know…" Reno finally spoke, in an uncharacteristically serious tone that made me look at him instantly. "….you gotta stop beating yourself up about that—"

"I'm not talking about it, Reno."

"Now now, don't get feisty…" he released me and leaned his back against the rail. He peered at me under his lashes. "…I'm just telling ya. I know you're beating yourself up about it…."

Did Rude tell him something?

"…and no…Rude didn't tell me anything. And no I can't read minds, but I can read you pretty easily..." He tossed his cup off the side of the building without a second thought, "All I'm sayin' is…stuff like that is gonna happen again and again. I don't know what happened down there but it ain't your fault. 'Sides, it ain't like he's gonna die or something…" he snorted, almost as if the thought itself was impossible.

I opened my mouth to say something but I stopped. What can I say? If I disagree with him he'll just find holes in my logic to prove that I'm beating myself up over nothing. But he wasn't there. He doesn't know how I feel—even if he is speaking from experience. It was just…it isn't just the fact that he got injured in my absence. It's because I am still a hopeless, bungling, ham-fisted, inept, amateurish, useless, and hopelessly awkward unprofessional—

"Laney?"

I snapped my gaze back to him. Reno's looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, yeah I know Reno. You're going to tell me that I should get over it and it's not my fault and I should get back to work. I just…need some time." I looked directly at him, meeting his stare head-on. "Besides, if you don't leave right now I'm going to start crying."

"Please don't." he suddenly looked very uncomfortable.

"I was kidding….." a smile twitched at my lips. Joking is better than talking about yesterday right now.

"Oh." He sighed in relief. "Yeah yeah, I knew that…" he slipped his hands into his pockets. "Ya, want me to leave you alone?"

"No…not really...but you could order me to get back to work…"

-vvvv-

I stared at my computer screen, and my fingers drummed on the keyboard typing nonsense into the ShinRa directory. I'm supposed to be looking up information on 'persons of interest' as Reno called them but I just can't. There's a file on my desk with the names in it, including Sara's, but the letters keep bleeding together and aren't making much sense. I can't do this right now. I can't just sit here and act like nothing is wrong while Tseng is incapacitated. I'm afraid to visit him though.

Maybe I can….just….leave a message.

The cell phone, all slick, black, and useful is just sitting there. It hasn't ringed since I called Rufus yesterday morning before everything fell apart. Yeah, I'll do it. It can't change anything but…

As usual it automatically dialed. Automated voice came up after five rings, directing me to his inbox then there was silence.

What to say? What can I possibly say that will matter? Will he even check this message? If he listens will it affect him at all?

"Um….sir…" I sound stupid.

I should just hang up. But I can't. If I do….I have to say _something_. I released a shaky sigh.

"Sir—no…you told me to call you Tseng didn't you? Tseng….I….um…I'm not really sure why I'm leaving you a message that you'll probably never listen to but…I feel…..so bad about what happened to you. I um…I wanted that assignment to be my redemption for disappointing you at the Mythril mines…and for not living up to expectations. I wish it was me that got injured sir, I really do but we can't change the past can we? This is—I'm sorry Tseng. I hope to see you alive and well soon. I promise, if the opportunity—_when_ the opportunity arises I will get revenge for you….um….I guess that's all. Anything else can wait until I see you again. Um…...bye."

Sent.

Oh I hope that wasn't a bad idea. What if he hears it and thinks I'm completely stupid for taking it that seriously? Or what if he's deeply moved by it. I like to think that he'd be deeply moved by it. He probably won't even mention it; such is the way of Tseng. Heck, he probably won't even listen to it. I don't know how I feel about that. Half of me already regret making that message and the other half hopes he appreciates it.

It's the least I can do for now. Yep…

With a sigh I returned the computer screen. My eyes are tired. I scanned my office instead.

There was a spot on my desk where the glass elephant figurine I'd gotten in Wutai had been sitting for days, then only a couple of days before going to the Temple with Tseng I had decided to take it home with me and put it on my coffee table. I figured it just didn't look professional having something so cute at work. I didn't even realize that I broke it until after I took a shower and cleaned up the mess.

I rose to my feet. There is no way I can do that right now, I've got way too much on my mind. I need….maybe I'll just take a little walk around the building to clear my head.

I pushed myself out into the hall and headed for the stairwell.

-vvvv-

Yesterday I barely paid attention to the sterile white halls of the medical ward as I paced them with my heart beating out of my chest. Today I'm not sure why I'm down here. What do I expect to accomplish? He's probably in a medicated sleep. Do I really want to see him like that? Hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV drip and totally unaware of my presence?

"You already saw him bleeding to death, how could this be any worse?" I hissed to myself.

A few feet away was the nurse's station. An older lady with a grey pixie cut is overseeing it. She seems bored.

I can do this. I came this far, what do I have to lose?

My sanity? Nope, the psychiatrist signed off on that this morning. Sure, it was without an examination, but that is hardly the point.

"Um…hello?" I approached the desk. I haven't done this very often. I hate hospitals and hospital-esque places. As a child I was fascinated and as a preteen I did find the occasional cute doctor in a white coat to be _really _fascinating but…well…

"Hello. What do you need?" she looked up at me with droopy lidded eyes. Does she even sleep?

"I want to see a patient." I raked my fingers through my hair. A patient. It just sounds so wrong.

"Okay….who?" she perked up and glanced at her computer screen.

"Um….Tseng?" That should suffice. I don't know his last name.

The woman crossed her arms and seemed more imposing than before. "I'm sorry, visitation is restricted access only." She sounded rehearsed and seemed self-important about being able to say that.

Arrgh.

"I'm sorry…I'm Elena."

That should help.

She raised an eyebrow. "And I'm Nancy. I'm sorry, you can't—"

"The hell I can't. I'm the one who was with him and who gave him first aid and flew him back to this damned city—"

'Nancy' reached forward and lifted up my name tag with the tip of her pen. "Ah. I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

That I am a member of the Turks. Of course. Who would? Gah.

She gave me his room number and directions without another word except for telling me that I would have to swipe my card for access. I didn't bother saying thank you and headed in the direction she told me. After stepping off an elevator and walking down a short stretch of hall I came to a pair of automatic glass doors. I slid my card through the machine and felt a little tingle of pride when the doors slid open for me, revealing a brand new maze of halls of rooms.

Blocking out all other thoughts, I recited the room number in my head. I walked briskly, narrowly avoiding others in the hall way. I rounded a corner.

My palms grow sweaty, my heart beats faster.

_I can do this I can do this I can do this…_

Rufus. Closing the door to a room that I'm sure contains Tseng. His back is turned to me.

_I can't do this!_

Moments later I found myself leaning against the walls of an elevator as the doors slid closed and it began its smooth descent.

_I hate myself right now._

I just can't go back down there now and walk past Natalie or Nancy or whatever her name was and get back on that other elevator and re-scan my card and everything. What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking at all, that's the problem. Why did I run off? Because of Rufus? Or maybe I just didn't want to see either one of them right now.

The doors opened. For a split second I thought I'd come face to face with Rufus. Instead I found myself staring at glass lined walls of the gym. There's hardly anybody else in there except for a few people lifting weights and running on a treadmill. The punching bags are free.

Maybe I could hang out in here for a little while.

"Might as well…I mean I can't even punch a button on an elevator properly…."

I made my way to my locker and pulled out a black tank top and matching pants and sports shoes. I slipped them on and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I headed back into the main area and stood before one of the punching bags. I slipped on a pair of gloves, took a stance, and struck the bag with as much force as I could muster.

-vvvv-

With a clenched fist I swung again and missed. My muscles screamed in agony and hands cramped uncomfortably. I swore under my breath and shoved sweaty strands of hair from my face. Sucking in a copious amount of air and I started at again only to stop once more, my abdomen started prickling threateningly. I found myself hunched over and feeling nauseous. I made it to a nearby bench and collapsed onto it, burying my face in my hands.

What am I trying to do? End up in the hospital with him? This is too much. Tseng wouldn't want me to do this to myself. I just need to take Rude's advice and keep going on, it's not like he's dead. Besides, he wouldn't react the same way if the situation was different. He wouldn't be running around like I am. He would be cool, calm, and collected. Sure he'd probably be a little concerned and yeah he might visit me but he wouldn't be overexerting himself to my memory.

I can't punch away my feelings and I can't avoid doing my work. There are a lot of things going on that I really don't know anything about. Maybe if I reacted to this situation the way most Turks would, people would think twice before dismissing me. I can't stop being a rookie until I stop acting like one. The first thing I need to do is write up that report and then deliver it to Rufus.

**

* * *

**

Chaminade is not at her desk. And to think I had mentally prepared myself for her resistance. Just like I had prepared for the resistance of printing, standing up, getting on the elevator, getting off the elevator, walking down the hall, scanning my card, and approaching her desk. Now that I think about it, she wasn't here yesterday either. Not that I care.

I've been reminding myself to breathe during this entire stroll and now that I'm face to face with his office door I'm afraid that I've lost the ability to knock.

Erm…

I can't just _stand_ here and stand at the door. I have to be _professional _about this. As professional as someone in a situation like mine can be. All I'm doing is delivering this and leaving. I shouldn't have to even recite anything since I was very explicit about everything. Almost. He doesn't need to know about the dinner invitation. I still don't even know what that was about and I feel guilty for being happy about it.

Okay…

I knocked once and then bounced around on the balls of my feet. Maybe he's not available right now. I should go. No, I can't go. Nine times out of ten he's in his office—

The door slid open.

Oh gahds. Hopefully he won't mention what happened in his office yesterday.

I stepped inside.

Rufus is busy holding what seems to be an unpleasant phone conversation for whoever is on the other end of the line. He glanced at me and motioned for me to wait with a curt gesture. I remained standing, clutching the back of the chair with one hand and the painfully thick report in the other. I stared at his desktop. Why is it so cold in here?

All I have to do is leave the files and go. No need for anything spectacular. This is just business. He's busy. I'm busy—

"That's the report?"

I jumped. Is he talking to me? Yes. Yes he is.

"Um…yes…I tried to be as detailed as possible." I handed it over.

Rufus flipped it open while sitting down. His sharp blue eyes flicked up at me. "Sit."

"Okay." I sat without a complaint.

Without another word he scanned the first page. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. This silence is killing me.

"This is entirely too long…" Rufus placed the file on the desk and made eye contact with me. Suddenly it feels very hot in here despite parts of my body that are shivering involuntarily from the chill in the air.

"I'm sorry…I um…I know it's several pages long but…I …."

Rufus returned to the document and flipped through several pages without even reading them. Warmth spread through my face, and my fists clenched in my lap. He remained silent, taking in bits and pieces of _relevant_ information. Sometimes his brow would furrow and he'd drum his fingers unconsciously on the desk top, and other times he'd run his fingers through his hair which constantly fell perfectly into his face.

I want to slap him.

For what reason? For the lack of warmth and sympathy. Yeah I know that this is business and we're both professionals but we're also more than that. Aren't we? The way he's flipping through it so carelessly bothers me though. Is he even concerned about what I went through?

I don't know…I don't even know what my feelings towards him are. I like him a lot, I know that. But…how can I…I mean he never answers even the simplest of direct questions. Am I taking this all too seriously? Maybe I am, but I deserve some feedback. Why the secrets? Why—

The sound of the file closing with a forceful snap shattered my thoughts.

"Are you certain that you recorded every detail?"

"Yes. It took me four and a half hours….."

"I see….." he leaned forward, resting in his hands on top of my file.

"Are you…saying that it's useless?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"I…I…"

"Hardly any of this—"he waved a hand at it, as if trying to find the right word to describe it without calling it crap, "contains any pertinent information."

"I'm—I'm sorry…I…."

He scoffed and muttered something to himself that sounded like he'd have to wait until Tseng was conscious to get any real information. And something about failure. My face burned, I looked down at my lap. I should just leave…but I feel like I need to explain myself first. I should explain….I didn't mean to disappoint.

"I'm sorry that the information that I gathered wasn't entirely relevant…I didn't stay in the Temple…I'm…s—"

"You're apologizing?" he said it in a way that made it seem ridiculous.

"Yes. I—I know…I'm…also…sorry about yesterday…I just thought—"

He waved it off coldly, "I don't have in any interest in hearing what you have to say."

What?

"But I'm trying to explain!" I heard my voice get louder; I quickly lowered it with an obligatory sign of respect thrown in under my breath. I found myself clutching the edge of the desk.

"Fine, Elena." He leaned back and rested his hands in his lap. "_Explain_."

"I...I _know _okay? I know I didn't do very well. And I wanted to. You have no idea how much I wanted to Rufus. I wanted to feel good about my performance, but…..everything went wrong. I'm- I wanted to do so well because…because I…my sister—this might sound crazy to you but…" I hesitated.

A ringing phone slashed through the heavy silence. I brought my gaze from the glass desktop to see him putting it to his ear, with a brief glance in my direction. I looked away, out of the window where the city hovered below in a grayish white haze. I can't believe this is happening. Why is he being so….he's acting like he doesn't even know me? Is it so crazy for me to expect some warmth and a little empathy? I mean—

"Continue?" he put the phone away. That was a very short call.

I forced myself to look at him.

"You know what I felt really foolish yesterday after I left your office, and you know what else is crazy?"I heard myself say, "I thought about it and I finally figured it out. I came to you yesterday because….I wanted you to comfort me. I know. How can I expect you to comfort me? How dare I assume that you would take part in such an activity? Why am I taking this thing so seriously? I don't know. I tend to get attached when I start caring about someone. Not a very desirable trait, I know. I'm sorry for expecting that of you _President Shinra_. How stupid of me…I mean how can I expect anything from someone who never even tells me the simplest things about himself? And yeah…I know that you're a private person but—I mean….maybe you're not brave enough or maybe you don't see it how I do-"

"Elena—"

I rose to my feet. "Am I dismissed?"

Once again, a ringing phone cut through the silence. Rufus glanced at the phone then at me and for the tiniest moment he hesitated. "Yeah."

"I'll leave you alone then, sir."

* * *

vvv

* * *

**GW08: So faster update ,eh? I hope you guys liked it. This chapter was much easier to write than the last, for obvious reasons! I'll be updating again soon but I won't say how soon because then I'll jynx it! Anyway, as usual I just want to ask you guys to leave a review. It doesn't have to be long and epic, it can be short and sweet. I'm really curious to know what everyone is thinking and what certain people may notice as opposed to others. So...questions and comments are welcome! And if you see any typos please tell me! I reread every chapter at least twice but I always miss something!**

**Oh! Also!**

**Special Thanks:**

**Someone2003 you are full of win. Thank you for the laughs, inspiration, motivation, and that little comment you made one night that spawned the scene where Tseng shoots the old guard in the Temple of Ancients. :D**


	28. Transition

**-vvv-**

* * *

**Chapter 28**

Transition

* * *

A white streak of lightning shot across the starless night sky, and then a second later rain began to pound against the window. I pulled my sheets back over my shoulder, and curled my legs tightly to my chest. I should be asleep right now, but I can't seem to find a way to shut my thoughts up long enough to find rest. Another streak of light flashed across my eyes, almost blinding me. I would get up and close the curtains, but I don't feel like moving. I'm perfectly comfortable where I am. Besides, in a few hours the next day will start.

It'll be another day since The Temple of Ancients. Another day since what I've dubbed The Assault on the 70th floor. I don't remember how I even got through the rest of _that _day, let alone the one before it. All I remember is going to the elevator, and leaning against the glass with my eyes closed with all sorts of thoughts rushing through my head. At first I felt proud of myself and a little arrogant, then the reality of the situation sank in and I felt anxious—and I desperately wanted to go back to him and apologize or something for my insubordinate behavior, but mostly because I felt like I needed to explain myself properly on a more personal note. And maybe give him a chance to explain himself as well.

I don't remember how I made it back to my floor, but I know I locked myself in my office and wouldn't answer the phone or any knocks—not that there were any, Reno and Rude had left the building but I didn't know that at the time. I just sat there in the dark for about an hour with my face buried in my hands willing myself to stay put and not cry—just like when I talked to Rude that night before. I don't cry anymore. Or…at least I try not to. I used to cry all the time—so I kept my emotions from myself and stared at the desktop until finally I just got up, left, and went home. The next morning I had a stupid fear that something bad would come of what I did the day before—but then I told myself that Rufus is not petty and wouldn't lose a potentially decent Turk because of his bruised ego. I also expected him to take the time to talk to me.

He didn't. He still hasn't.

It has been a week now.

A whole week.

I can't eat, and when I do I can barely taste whatever it is that I've shoved into my mouth, and all of my thoughts find their way back to exactly what I'm trying to avoid. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to avoid. Him? I guess. What happened to Tseng? Maybe. I know the guys have noticed, despite how busy they seem to be and how much they may try to pretend otherwise. Rude hasn't pried me for information, but every time he's around me, I know he's thinking stuff behind those sunglasses.

Reno has been taking on the role of Commander, and therefore he's been in the office much more than he'd like—I think it has been driving him crazy. He talks to Tseng, and tells me how he's doing sometimes but I still haven't visited him myself. I try not to think about it. I've been throwing myself into the Weapons Department investigation that seems to be going nowhere and pretty much have stayed locked in my office whenever I'm not interviewing or interrogating someone.

Reno and Rude finally forced me to go out tonight, and made me go out with them for drinks—they let me choose the place. Not once did I think about Rufus, Tseng, or work or anything else…until right now.

Hard to believe that only a few hours ago I was out having a decent time. All I was thinking about was if the stories that Reno was telling were true or not. Now I can't help but notice how lonely I feel I this unfamiliar apartment. The rain isn't helping either; all it does is remind me about the last time it stormed this hard in the middle of the night and I was with Rufus...

_ Thunder rumbled around us and rain blew against against the windows. Our lips parted for a second time, I could barely see him, he was mostly just a shadow in front of me I could only feel the warmth of his arms around me and his hand on my face, pulling me closer to bring our lips together for a third time. I tightened my grip around him and allowed myself to relax, and just enjoy the moment instead of questioning whether it was actually real. Then, suddenly a round of thunder roared with such intensity that I flinched involuntarily and broke away with a painfully girlish gasp._

_ "I didn't realize you were afraid of thunder," he chuckled softly against my ear, "do I have to keep you safe?" _

_ My lips tugged in a smile at the implication that I was afraid of loud noises. "I'm the one that's supposed to keep _you _safe. And for the record, I'm not the one that's afraid of thunder and lightning. I actually find it nice most times. I love storms like this. Sometimes I'll-" I forced myself to stop explaining before it seemed like I was compensating for flinching. It was one thing that I had over my sister. She hated storms when we were kids. _

_ "...Rufus…? You know what's weird?"_

_ Lightening flashed across his eyes._

_ "No…tell me…" I felt his hands slip out of my hair and around my waist. Warmth spread across my cheeks, and I suddenly felt like this was just a little too close for comfort. I felt myself step back slightly. _

_ "Well…hehehe….." I laughed, mostly to myself. I couldn't believe I was about to admit this aloud, but I wanted to hear his response. "…you're my first um…" I hesitated. Boyfriend? Would that be the proper term for it, I wondered. That word just never seems to fit. "…uh….you're the first…like…..haha…I mean…I've..never really had a..um...my experience is limited in this area of my life…." I winced inwardly. _

_ "Oh?" He didn't seem surprised._

_ "Yeah…you probably don't want to hear all of that. I'll stop talking now."_

_ "No, I like hearing your thoughts…" he spoke softly, the warmth of his breath tickling my ear._

_ "Really?" I asked, skeptically. _

_ "Really," his lips brushed mine softly, "don't you believe me?"_

_ I mumbled something incoherent. Warmth covered my lips and slipped between them. The light scent of soap filled my nose. I closed my eyes against the semi-dark kitchen just as a flash of lightening illuminated it. His hair was soft between my fingers and the window sent a chill through my back. The silk fabric of our shirts whispered quietly beneath the thundering of rain. My thoughts drifted, all I could concentrate on was the weight of his body pressed against mine._

_ He pulled me closer to him, his fingers pressing against my scalp, his free hand trailing down the small of my back. I caught it, and intertwined our fingers, noticing that between our hands, mine were rougher. I began to forget the world around us as he kissed me with a brand new intensity. An involuntary sound bubbled up out of my chest and escaped my lips before I could stop it. He released a low, heavy chuckle as our lips parted only to meet again._

_ Then abruptly, a particularly violent crash of thunder exploded around us. We flinched. Rufus swore very softly. I gasped, barely able to catch my breath._

_ And for a moment, there was silence, except for the rain._

_ We laughed._

That was the first time that I heard him actually laugh instead of doing that sneaky chuckle where it is as if he knows more than everyone else does. He seemed a little more human that night, and everything with us felt a little more real_. _. I should be asleep. How can I though?

The faster I can sleep, the faster I can get to tomorrow.

Tomorrow is going to be a little different. I hope.

* * *

Rain splattered against the windshield as I maneuvered my car between two obnoxiously large black SUVs. The windshield wipers slowed to a stop as I cut the car off and leaned back into the seat. Rain thundered down on the car, almost as if it was desperate to reach and drown me. The ShinRa building, and the people running into it with raincoats and umbrellas was a blurry wet mess beyond the glass. Inhaling softly, I reached for my umbrella only to end up grasping air. Then I remembered that I left it behind; it is still sitting in my apartment propped against the wall draining from yesterday's abusive downpour.

So today is another day.

And it is raining.

And I left my umbrella at the apartment.

What am I going to do? I can't just sit here and wait for it to stop. I have things to do, not to mention I'm sure that'll start looking pretty suspicious if I just sat here in the parking lot staring at people. Someone might report it and then I'd have the whole ShinRa army bearing down on me. That's the last thing that I want to happen. I can't take on an entire army, so the only thing left for me to do is make a run for it, or at least walk really fast without mowing someone down.

I pushed the door open, wind and rain blew in my face. I closed the door, slipped the key into my pocket, and started briskly towards the building, which seemed further away than normal. Several ShinRa employees walked right past me, some of them doing a double take, and speeding up with their umbrellas that wouldn't be big enough to fit two people comfortably. This could be worse; I could be struck by lightning or hit by an out of control car with a disgruntled ShinRa employee behind the wheel.

Can I take a third option?

"Forgot your umbrella, eh?" A male's voice spoke next to me. For a split second, my heart rushed and I stupidly thought it was Rufus or Tseng holding an extra large black umbrella over my head. I looked over to see Reeve Tuesti walking beside me, with the rain dancing behind him framing his form in an oddly angelic manner.

"Oh…...my… gosh…um…thank you…thank you sir Mr. Director Tuesti…sir…you didn't have to….."

He shook his head and offered a tiny smile. "…I wanted to. How are you doing, Elena?"

Such a loaded question. I think it's best if I just answer with the simplest thing. He doesn't actually want to know how I'm doing. He's just being polite and making conversation. I doubt he wants to know that I have been a particularly horrible morning, like how I slammed my knee into a side table that seemed to pop out of nowhere, how I haven't eaten breakfast, and how I woke up several hours earlier than I should have. No. He doesn't care that usually my lack of sleeping is the fault of thinking about Rufus or waking up with a thin layer of sweat because of violent dreams. He doesn't want to know that. No need to unload on yet another unwilling member of ShinRa. If I were Rude, I'd have nightmares about _that._

"Umm….I'm okay. I'm…fine…" I mumbled.

He didn't respond, instead he simply stared ahead; his mind seemed to be somewhere else. The rain thundered around us, stray droplets splashed against my face and my clothes. Reeve doesn't really seem to mind the weather at all. No. He doesn't actually seem to be paying much attention to his surroundings. I wonder what has him so preoccupied. I guess it isn't really my business, is it? He glanced at me then returned his attention elsewhere. We reached the building in silence; he folded his umbrella down and shook it out, and then stepped through the automatic doors of the building. A few people were milling around, a mildly familiar woman was talking to the real Edna, who was on duty at the front desk. Reeve headed for the nearest elevator, and I followed closely behind.

The elevator on the 18th floor and was coming down. Reeve stared blankly at the numbers. Crossing my arms, I shifted from foot to foot and stared at the metal doors, willing them to open. Reeve inhaled softly, as if he was about to speak. His brow was furrowed, and then he flicked his dark gaze over at me. Should I say something? Wish him a nice day?

"Have you spoken to Tseng recently?"

"Um..." that's not what I was expecting at all. Is something wrong? Did something else happen to Tseng? Should I go see him? What kind of question is that? The way he said it makes me think that something's off. "…I'm afraid not sir, I haven't had the..."

"Time?"

"C-courage, sir."

He nodded as if he understood what I was trying to say, and then looked back at the elevator. The doors slid open. "I spoke to him yesterday. He should be getting released in a few days to continue recovering at home."

"Oh…" I didn't know that. Why didn't I know that? What if he expected me to visit him and since I never did, he believes that I don't care enough to see him? Or worse?

I followed Reeve inside. Someone else was in the elevator as well. Roslyn. Her dark red hair was pulled back into a curly ponytail, and she was leaning against the wall with one heel propped against the walls of the elevator. A phone was pressed to her ear, but she met my gaze and nodded in recognition.

Reeve crossed his arms as well and watched the numbers once again. He does not intend to continue our conversation, does he? Probably not. People around here seem to enjoy saying vague things and then not elaborating on them a little too much. I found a spot against a corner, and quietly gripped the silver railings that ran across the back of the elevator. Other than the rain pounding against the glass behind us, the only noise in the elevator was Roslyn's phone conversation, which she was trying very hard to keep as low as possible.

Snatches of the conversation proved that she was probably talking to someone who was very close to her, and they were asking for something that she didn't want to give. A few moments later, she ended the call.

"….your sister?" Reeve asked, politely.

Roslyn pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and shoved her phone into her pocket. She opened her mouth to respond, her eyes widened slightly. Hah! She wasn't expecting to be addressed by a high level Shinra employee was she. I've never seen her make that much of a facial expression before. I guess this proves that she might just be human and not some type of robot. Maybe?

"Yes, actually, sir…younger sister….she works in the city…." she looked away and stared out of the window.

Reeve didn't respond, and the elevator came to a stop. Reeve stepped off first, and Roslyn returned to her phone. She's probably sending her sister a text message about what just happened. I turned my attention to the glass behind us. Rain blurred the city below, turning it into blotches of color and sky.

"Hey, you coming?"

Roslyn was standing in the hall, holding open the elevator doors with a blank expression across her face.

"Uhm…yeah…heh…"

"Tch."

Roslyn disappeared quickly around the corner, heading for her desk. I sighed softly, and ran a hand through my hair. Despite staying late almost every night this week and coming to work, early to keep busy, coming into this building hasn't been very easy since then. I keep expecting something to happen with Rufus, but nothing ever does. We've had three meetings since then, and I missed two of them after he coolly ignored me the entire time. He didn't once look in my direction. And that left me rattled for the rest of that day. I don't know what else to do except for bury myself in work.

The floor is pretty quiet. Tseng's office is the first one that I see on my way down; I generally try to avoid looking at the closed door, knowing that he isn't behind it doing Tseng-like things. It is a little disconcerting to know that he's not behind that door. I remember getting lost a lot during my first few days on the job. Usually, it was just me and him on the floor whenever Rude and Reno were out in the field….

_I hugged the documents to my chest and made my way through the stairwell door and down the hall. The commander's office was either at the end of the hall or the beginning, depending on which way I entered the floor. I could enter, either from the stairwell that was on the other end of the hall or on the elevator that was near the lounge and the Commander's office. There was a sprinkling of a few other private offices directly in front of the commander's office on either side of the hallway._

_ Mine was on the left side of the hall with empty offices on either side of it. On the right side of the hall was Reno and Rude's offices, side by side and nearest the commander's large window covered office—which had the blinds closed most of the time. Then there was the lounge area and an open area with empty desks and unused computers sat like monuments of the past. _

_ At first I was pleasantly surprised that I—a rookie—would get an office, but then I realized that the only reason that I had one was because it would be pointless to have me sitting at one of those cubicles alone. They had free office space, so why not use it. _

_ I wondered if my sister had an office or if she worked out in the larger area with the other Turks. What did they talk about? Did they make jokes? I wanted to ask Reno and Rude about her but, it never seemed like the appropriate time to ask anything. They have more important things to worry about._

_ There was nobody else on the floor except for Tseng and me. I knew he was in his office, and I didn't want to bother him but I had only just filed my report about some small assignment in the city. I always did the reports directly after they happened, to show just how dedicated and responsible I was. I didn't want him to think less of me._

_ The closer I got to the Commander's door, the more my stomach tightened. I hugged the file to my chest, and it made me feel better. Every time I'm around him, I feel like I'm being judged. Like somehow, the way that I hold myself might reveal how good of a Turk I will turn out to be._

_ There was a moment of silence when I knocked, and I thought I heard him tell me to come in but I wasn't sure. I didn't want to hesitate and make him repeat himself, and I definitely did not want to have to knock again. What if he thought I had a hearing problem? That would be strike one wouldn't it? Or maybe strike three; I wasn't sure if I'd actually gotten any strikes yet. Maybe I forgot to address him properly once or twice, and now I was already on strike five? How many strikes until he decides that I'm not good enough?_

_ I reminded myself to maintain eye contact no matter how much I wanted to look away, then I pushed the door open gently, it slipped open only a crack without making a sound. I could see him, sitting at his desk in the faded glow of the sun. _

_ His office always seems a little dark; I think he likes it that way._

_ And there he was, sitting at his desk completely unaware of my presence. It quickly dawned on me that he never heard me knock because I was knocking way too softly. He was reading over something on his desk, with a slight frown etched in his dark brows. He was leaning over it slightly, in an almost relaxed position with one arm resting on the desk and his hand dangling off the edge of it, brushing his suit ever so often. The other hand was buried in his hair as he rested his head against it. _

_ Quickly, I knocked against the doorframe. He looked up, seemingly unruffled by the fact that I slipped up on him unannounced. His gaze didn't meet mine, but instead fell on the file in my hands. _

_ "I'm sorry, sir. I knocked but…" I hugged the file to my chest again and instantly felt stupid. _

_ His gaze met mine. He has such dark brown eyes; in certain light, they seem completely black. He didn't crack a smile; in fact, his jaw seemed to clench only a little. I wished I'd just waited for him to realize I was at the door. Barging into the commander's office can't be a good thing._

_ "Its fine," he said dismissively "is that your report?"_

_ At this point, I was used Tseng's terse manner of speaking; he got to the point and didn't seem to like holding pointless conversations, at least not with me. It always made him seem like he was slightly annoyed, but he was always polite and calm. Always saying thank you and please—even if those formalities were actually orders that could not be refused._

_ "Uhm—" I hate when I hesitate instead of simply answering a question. What's so hard about what he asked me? "—yes sir."_

_ "Leave it on the desk." He returned to the document that he was reading. I felt utterly and completely dismissed._

_ I placed the file on his desk, near the one he was reading, careful not to seem like I was watching. The file made a slight smacking sound as it hit the surface and I was afraid that it sounded like I was slamming it down aggressively. He looked up at me, meeting my gaze. His eyes seem browner up close. His black eyelashes make them seem black though. I held his gaze, unsure of what to do. _

_ He was studying me. I consciously tried to rearrange my face; I knew that I probably looked a little nervous. After only a second he looked at the file that I'd just put down. He didn't reach for it and didn't open it, but I heard a soft intake of breath. He was about to say something. I braced myself for some sort of reprimand or order. Or perhaps some form of criticism or advice. I stood straight, my fingers twitched as they hung uselessly against the fabric of my pants._

_ Then he opened his mouth and said, "Be prepared to leave in an hour."_

_ "To where, sir?" A tingle of excitement rushed through me. I felt my cheeks grow warm for no apparent reason. I always like going in the field, I don't get to do it nearly as much as I'd like. I know that the reason behind that is that they've been a bit busy, so they can't always join me. Not to mention the fact that one of them was still recovering._

_ "The Mythril Mines." he answered simply, not bothering to look at me again. "Rude and I will be going as well."_

_ Quickly, I recollected everything that I knew about the place and what had been talked about in this morning's briefing. This could be my big chance to impress him. I couldn't help but feel a strong urge to please him; maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was always so serious despite being not much older than I am. Maybe it had more to do with the fact that I couldn't help taking second and third glances at him whenever he wasn't looking._

_ There's just something about him…_

_ "Thank you, sir." I heard myself say, but my mind was already rushing with thoughts of how this assignment could go._

_ "At least now you can't say that I don't take you anywhere." The corner of his mouth twitched upward very slightly, in what a way that could only be described as a smirk._

_ My mind went blank; I had no idea how to respond. I wasn't used to him being anything but strictly business with me. So I smiled, turned around, and headed for the door. Behind me, I heard a phone ring. As I opened the door, I heard him answer in a simple and effective manner, and a second later, I realized that he was holding a conversation with the President._

_ "….goodbye, sir." I muttered, despite knowing that he probably didn't hear me at all._

What I'd do to be able to go back to that moment and fix everything that went wrong right after that. I wouldn't have screwed up that Mythril Mines assignment, and maybe I wouldn't have virtually been put on desk duty for such a long time thus giving me more experience in the field. No amount of experience could have prepared me for what I saw in that Temple though. It takes more mental power than anyone would want to use that late at night to focus on something else that doesn't involve that place.

Gah.

The floor is so _quiet_. Where is everyone? Reno's door is closed meaning that means he's not in there. If Rude was in his office, I'd know it despite the fact that he leaves his door closed most of the time. Wherever Reno is, Rude is probably there too. Usually.

My office is quiet too, and a little cold. The curtains are open, showing off the dark grey sky and the rain that's sliding down the panes. It has been raining almost nonstop. I guess I prefer it to the usual dark dreary sky and heat.

I eased into my desk and made a move to one of the various useless files on it pertaining to my investigation. I stopped and just leaned back in my seat and stared at the ceiling instead. What is the point? I won't find anything new. It is all a dead end. Unless some new information becomes known, I have nothing to offer.

Nothing is all I seem to have lately. I need _something._ All of this sitting around and questioning people who have worked for ShinRa longer than I have isn't my idea of something. I want to help Sara out, but it seems fruitless. I can't shake the feeling that a whole lot of something is going to happen and I'm going to miss it because I'll be stuck here waiting for my something to come. I just can't sit around. If I do, I'll be forced to think about everything. Nothing is better than everything at once. Anything is better than sitting around and thinking. I don't like thinking anymore. Just give me something to do and I'll be fine for a few hours. It is funny that I've been staying late at the office and spending more hours here than I should despite the fact that the person that runs this place is the one someone that I want to avoid.

Whatever. I don't care.

Okay I do a little, but I shouldn't.

I don't want to be one of those girls that obsess about her whatchamacallit when there are bigger things going on. I mean _seriously._

I leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling. The rain thudded quietly against the windows around me. I sat up straight and tapped a key on the keyboard, bringing up the ShinRa logo and a password prompt. The cursor blinked patiently on the screen, daring me to answer its riddle incorrectly more than three times. Running my hands through my hair, I stared at the blinking cursor.

What am I going to do?

The screen on my cell phone lit up and a brief musical notification played. I leaned over it without picking it up and reread the message on my screen several times..

_Can we talk?_

**-vvv-**

I flipped through the file in my hands just to have something to do with them as the elevator doors closed on me and it started to move in the direction of The Weapons Development Department floor. Talk? Why does that statement always sound so scary whenever people say it? Talk about _what_? Nothing good ever comes from those three words.

All too quickly, the elevator stopped and the doors slid open. I stepped out, and almost instantly I received an unpleasant shock and my heart thudded a little faster in my chest. Rufus appeared around a corner, heading directly towards me while not really seeming to notice at all, but then his cool gaze locked onto mine only for a second, and he looked away as if I were a stranger that he didn't mean to make eye contact with. I paused, but he kept up his purposeful, and slightly arrogant, stride. He passed by smoothly, so close that I could simply reach out and touch his cream-colored sleeve. The elevator doors re-opened behind me and then closed with a soft ding that punctuated the silence.

_Keep walking. You have a reason for being down here. Don't think…don't think…_

I knew that seeing him again was inevitable, and I had played up various scenarios in my head of what I'd say when we crossed paths. Not once did I expect it would be just as simple as _that._

So cold.

I should be happy. Everything is as it should be now. Yes. It's like it never happened. I should be happy. Yeah like it never happened…except….

Oh, except for the fact that I can't stop myself from replaying that scene in his office in my head every time I go back to my apartment for a few hours of rest. No matter how hard I try to focus completely on the investigation, I can't stop thinking about _everything_. If it's not something about Tseng, then it's about Rufus. And rarely if it's not about either one of them, it's about Sara.

I think she hates me now.

Hopefully, whatever she has to tell me will be enough to shift suspicion to someone else. Hopefully I can focus on what she has to say instead of focusing on what just happened in the hallway.

I passed by two women with headsets firmly attached to their ears, they were ignoring each other despite walking side by side with rolls of weapon designs in their hands and white coats flapping around them.

From the way things are looking, a person on the outside wouldn't even be able to tell that the entire department is currently under investigation. There isn't anyone hyperventilating on the floor or anything. Everyone's just doing their job as usual. Some of them looked up at me and averted their gaze like I was some strange plague that would cause them to get dark spots on their bodies and vomit up black sludge. Others, who I had questioned at some point during the week, nodded in recognition and swept off to do super important weapon developing things.

And there is Sara, standing outside of her office, and leaning against the glass with her arms crossed over her white lab coat. She seems to not really be focused on anything and especially not the people working around her. I clutched my file in one hand and raked my fingers through my hair with the other. How am I supposed to address her? I can't be all chipper and friendly, but if I'm cold and detached it might send the wrong message…

"Hey…." I stepped into her eye line.

Her brown eyes focused on me, and there was a downward twitch of her lips. "Hey…" she trailed off; her gaze left mine and swept over the area.

"Is that my file?"

Her file. I felt like I was invading her privacy simply by reading it. Sure, there wasn't anything extremely exciting in there. Just that her _middle name_ is Sara and that she's been working at ShinRa since she was in her late teens. Impressive, but it still felt wrong. Those are things I should have learned from talking to her, not reading them in an oddly detailed employee file.

"Um….yeah…" I glanced down at the clipped on picture of her gazing emotionlessly into the camera and crossed my arms over it, wishing I'd left it in my office. "…so you said you wanted to talk?"

"Heh…" she ran a hand through her hair. It was cascading freely down to the middle of her back today. She's not herself. I can't blame her...I wouldn't want to be a subject of suspicion at ShinRa either. I guess the only thing she can do to keep sane is come to work as usual and fight off Scarlet's subtle mascara -laced glares.

I'm a little ashamed for having to be the one that interrogated her like that. Complete with a two-way mirror, a cold metal table, and two chairs facing each other. It was unnecessary but someone — Scarlet—wanted it done that way. Reno and Rude were behind the glass, probably more out of curiosity than supervision. Scarlet was probably watching from closed circuit feeds in her office. I was calmer than I should have been until I entered the room and saw her look up at me. She wasn't expecting me to be the one to interview her- a potential friend and someone with less history with the company probing into her credibility. It was the worst seventy-eight minutes in my life.

She hadn't spoken to me since.

Until right now. Awkward.

"…um…." I should just apologize now and get it out of the way. Let her know just how terrible I feel about it. "um….Sara…look…I'm...um... am …sorry about…"

"You don't have anything to apologize about. Okay?" she waved it off lightly, "Come in…" She pushed open the door to her office and led the way inside. On her desk was what seemed to be a copy of the missing blueprints.

I closed the door lightly behind me and leaned against it. She didn't sit either; she supported herself with the back of her chair and stared down at the blueprints for a moment before sighing slightly. I flipped open her file to have something to do with my hands and eyes despite wishing that I'd actually left it behind. Why did I bring it down anyway? Sure, I don't know it by heart, but I've stared at the front cover and the first page enough to be able to recite that in my sleep.

"Elena…" Sara reached down and briefly touched the blueprints. Her brow furrowed and she ran her hand through her hair. She sighed, "um…"

"What?"

She exhaled slowly and crossed her arms while still staring at the blueprints. "These are the originals."

"_What?_"

"The original blueprints…" she crossed and uncrossed her arms, glanced at the door behind me, "these are the originals."

"Seriously?"

"I know. That's what I said. And… I know it looks bad…what am I supposed to do? If I simply waltz up to Scarlet and show her the blueprints she'll think I took them in the first place." Sara pulled out her chair but didn't sit. Should I offer support? No. I should get an answer that makes sense.

"What happened?"

She shook her head and shrugged, "I didn't take them. That would be stupid in several ways. Not to mention, I don't take my work home with me…"

"Me either. But um...Sara…" I don't want her to think that I don't trust her. I just want to understand. Things are already weirder and weirder by the minute in all sorts of ways. It would be nice to have Sara on my side again. "..these are the ones that were stolen in the first place?"

"Yes."

"Was the other stuff returned?"

"Not that I know of. I don't think so," she placed her hands behind the chair again, and I got a glimpse of her nails. Not polished and hints of biting. "…what should I do?" she looked up at me.

I looked away and back at her expressionless ID photo clipped to the inside of her file. "I'll…um… have to figure that out." How exactly am I supposed to figure this out though? The first mildly interesting case that I am assigned to that I'm doing practically alone and it has to involve Sara. What if I can't figure it out?

"Oh."

Oh, indeed.

"Yeah um...Sara…is that all?" I flipped the file closed "You seem…"

"No." she sounded relieved and reluctant at the same time, "no… that's not all. I didn't want to say anything earlier because I knew it'd sound weird or like I was making excuses, but I don't think I can keep it to myself any longer."

"I'm listening…"

"Well…" she paused momentarily before exhaling out a string of words, "I've been seeing someone."

"What? Other than Reno?"

"Uh, no not like that." she quirked an eyebrow, then released another sigh, " I've …how do I explain this…um….you know I have a younger brother, right?"

"Um…." I flipped the file open again, mostly to have something to do. I knew the answer to the question. I glanced over the second sheet again to make sure that I had my facts straight. "..step-brother….yeah…um…his name is …um…Jin"

I'd feel pretty important right now, if this situation didn't involve me investigating a friend. I mean...we are friends, right?

Sara nodded, "Yeah. Jin. Well I think I've been seeing him around the building for months, but I just passed it off. I mean many guys look like him around here. But recently, I am almost certain that I saw him barely 10 feet away from me slipping into a stairwell. A few minutes later when I returned to my office I found the blueprints sitting rolled up on my desk ."

"Um…but your brother doesn't work here…."

"You're right," she traced lines on the blueprints mindlessly. "No he doesn't. Never has. He hates ShinRa. He's hated ShinRa for as long as I've known him. And yeah I know that a lot of people hate ShinRa…."

"True."

"But his hatred wasn't the usual resentment or disagreement or general distrust towards ShinRa, it was an obsessive and passionate hatred."

"Oh…" I don't like where this is going.

"He blames ShinRa for everything that's wrong with his world. Especially his father's sudden death…" she trailed off and fell silent for a moment. Then she pulled out her chair and slipped down into it, focusing solely on the blueprints in front of her.

"Yeah?" I glanced at Sara's file without actually seeing it.

"I mean…" she trailed off, "when he found out that I was going to leave to start working for ShinRa as when I was seventeen...tch…he just about lost it. We were close, but the year I started working for Weapons Development he slowly stopped talking to me and became increasingly secretive. Finally, he completely disappeared. My father and stepmother didn't know where he'd went either. When they moved back to my hometown…"

"..um...Costa del Sol, right?" I glanced at the file, just to have something to look at other than her.

"Yeah. When they moved back, there…I heard from him once. That was about two years ago. He'd told me he'd been…" she put up both hands and formed quotations with her fingers, "'traveling'".

"Traveling?" I can't believe I never asked her about her personal life before. Most of our conversations were about me. And during most of them, I wasn't even completely honest.

"Yeah. I figured he'd went back to his birthplace," she shrugged, "I thought maybe he needed some time to….get away? Find proper closure? I don't know. Just time, I guess. I mean...he never really seemed to adjust….tch…" she raked her fingers through her dark hair.

"…oh…what else?" Should I say something warm? I feel like I'm being so callous, cold, and unfriendly right now.

"Well like I was saying. I think I've seen him here. Several times. I thought I was just seeing things but…like I said. I'm almost certain that it was him this time. He has one of those faces…" she glanced towards the printer on her desk and then back at the blueprints.

Silence.

"Sara..."

"Hmm?" she finally looked up at me, expectantly.

"Um...okay…let's say that maybe he's planning something and he has this like…huge underground following of ShinRa haters that wants to …I don't know...what do most of those guys want to do? Violent protests, um…maybe assassination...maybe he's been planning this forever but…"

"Yeah…?" she leaned forward.

"How would he get inside of the building?"

She frowned slightly. I continued, "ShinRa's security protocol has changed and tightened since Rufus's—um The President's father got…killed—or used as a pin cushion as I like to say.…"

Sara nodded, "Yeah, I know, but with all of these employees I'm pretty sure it is easy to blend in. He could know people. He is very charismatic. He has a knack for convincing people to think how he wants and to do things for him. Sort of like President ShinRa really-

"Rufus."

"What?"

"President ShinRa was his father. He doesn't' like to be called that."

Sara blinked and stared at me for a moment. "Right…" she finally waved it off, "I never knew that..."

"…" My cheeks burned. I glanced at the file again, not seeing anything that was actually printed on it. She's still staring at me, isn't she?

"….."

Silence.

"You were saying?" I cleared my throat. Yes. I should keep this as business-like as possible.

"Uh…like I was saying. Um…he could have easily gotten through with certain connections, right? I mean…it is definitely possible, right? I mean...those…eco-terrorists—"

" You mean AVALANCHE. I call them Cloud and Co most of the time really…"

"Cloud and Co?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

"Well," Sara laughed very softly, "AVALANCHE made it into the building virtually unnoticed…avoiding all sorts of security checkpoints…used other employee's cardkeys to access restricted floors…and they were a large, oddly dressed group of people. Just imagine what one cunning, charismatic, and stealthy guy could do. I mean…it is possible, right?"

That makes sense.

"Definitely. But um….we need some sort of proof." I hesitated, "I don't want you to get in trouble for this, Sara."

"…thanks…"

Silence.

"Do you have a picture of him?"

"Well…yeah." She reached for her purse that was sitting quietly in on a small table nearby, but she stopped as if remembering something, "I mean…it isn't very recent…"

"Doesn't matter. His facial structure should still be somewhat similar…I could have it ran through the database and digitally checked against current and past employees as well as anyone that has been captured by ShinRa's cameras. I doubt he was able to avoid all of them, regardless of how well he knows the building. It pays to work for the paranoid, eh?"

"Hah…sometimes…I guess…" she nodded.

"But um...…what if you're right?"

"I don't know."

"…well…I'll have to report this."

What else can I possibly say?

"I know."

"Um…well…" I moved towards the door, uncertain of what else to do. What else can I possibly do? Hug her? I'd like to but well…she might find it weird. Not to mention, it might be a little inappropriate at this exact moment. "I should go report this to Reno."

"Reno?"

"Yeah…um…" I pulled on the corners of the file, "Reno's in charge while Tseng is….recovering."

"Oh…I guess I should have known that," She said almost to herself, "Recovering from...?"

Oh no. I don't want to talk about this. This is the last thing that I want to talk about. If I don't answer the question though, she might interpret that to mean that I don't trust her, or that it is too traumatic to talk about. I mean…I can talk about it. I just..I just don't like to. "Our last assignment." Do I sound at ease? Relaxed? Flippant even? Do I sound like I'm discussing the weather? That's the desired effect here. "He got… stabbed…I was the only other person there….so...yeah…" I shrugged despite my shoulders feeling heavy. I hate hearing it retold.

"Are you okay?" her tone softened.

Oh no. Not this. "I'll be fine."

"Elena, I didn't ask you that, I asked you if you were okay."

My mouth felt dry and my throat tightened. Why does she have to be so nice and caring all the time? How am I supposed to answer that? I don't have the energy to unload on her like I did to Rude, and if I talk about it anymore, it'll probably bring up all sorts of other things and then it'll be a repeat of what happened when I found out about—

I'll just give her an easy answer. This is not the time or the place. Right? Besides, she has other things to worry about and so do I. Her brand of pleasantness is just something I haven't experienced in a long time, I guess.

"I'm not okay." I admitted, "but...um...I think I will be eventually….but um...I- I should go and report this to him…hear what he thinks about it."

"Okay." She nodded, "…I'll get that picture as soon as possible."

"Good." I looked away and closed the file. I'm not sure how I feel about this. "We're going to need that."

"Thank you, Elena." She paused, "and...feel better, okay? Everything will be fine for you, I'm sure." She smiled slightly.

* * *

"Reno? Are you up here?" I called out. There is something eerie about virtually nobody being on the floor except for me. That is reason enough to say off this floor as much as possible, but somehow I still find a way to be up here more than anyone should want to. The only solace is having Reno up here with me, but even that is a little weird whenever Rude isn't around as a buffer.

I continued past Tseng's office and peeked inside of Reno's. The door was open, so that means he's somewhere on the floor. Usually he'll answer to me calling out unless he's engrossed in something on the impossibly large flat-screened television in the break room. But no, I don't hear a television at all. Did he leave to go get something? Go deal with important things? I guess I'll have to wait.

I hate waiting.

"Hey. What are you doing Laneypuff?" Reno's voice came from behind me.

I whipped around and received a disturbing shock. Reno's voice was coming from behind Tseng's office door, which was slightly half-open. The door opened a little more and Reno's eyes appeared along with a slight smirk dangling on his lips. He opened the door completely and light poured out of Tseng's office and into the hall. Reno leaned against the doorframe and waved me over.

"Reno. What in the _hell_ are you doing in his office? You're violating—"

"Pipe down 'puff. Sheesh, you act like he's dead or something." He disappeared from the door leaving me no choice but to join him if I wanted to continue our conversation.

I don't want to go in there though. It's weird, and it is wrong to be in there when Tseng's not in there. What possessed Reno to even go in his office? Doesn't he have any boundaries? Any sense of respect or anything like that? Or does he just do everything and anything willy-nilly? I have to talk to him about this though, don't I? This means I have to ignore this blatant disrespect and weirdness and go into Tseng's office to talk to Reno. I mean it is urgent isn't it. Sara would want me to go in. Why is Reno doing this to me?

"Reno...um..." I stopped at the threshold. "…why are you in Tseng's office?"

Reno was sitting in Tseng's chair, going through his drawers and flipping through their contents systematically. The tip of his tongue was sticking out of the corner of his mouth and his brow was furrowed in thought.

"Reno..."

"What's up?" he stopped and looked up at me with a grin.

"What are you doing in his office? I mean…he's okay, right?"

"Okay enough to go around giving me orders. Tch." Reno leaned back in Tseng's chair and propped his feet on the gleaming surface of Tseng's desk. Flecks of dirt fell off Reno's boots and onto the surface of the desk, violating it. "if you must know, Laneypuff, he asked me to retrieve something from his office for him. Just said that I'd find it in his desk." he shrugged.

"Oh…" I trailed off. What am I supposed to say to that? He might not be technically violating Tseng's office without his consent, but it is still weird to be in here without him sitting at that desk all serious and stern and stuff. Reno's flippant presence does little in comparison.

Reno peered at me wordlessly. His green eyes narrowed until they were almost completely shrouded behind his eyelashes. "Tch."

"What?"

Reno fished his cell phone out of his pocket and began pressing buttons. He didn't respond for about two minutes until his fingers stopped moving. "Y'know he's headed home for additional rest or something like that...right?"

"Um yeah...I heard…."

I looked away from him and allowed my gaze to travel over the office instead. I've never really taken in this office completely, probably because usually I'm staring at the floor or at my hands or at the desktop. The blinds are closed, like they always are. I wonder if he sometimes he peeked through the blinds and watched us. Did he see things that he didn't want to see? What does he—?

"So, why haven't you visited him?"

I glanced at Reno. He was pressing buttons on his phone again, responding to what seemed to be a humorous text message from Rude. How am I supposed to answer that? I can't lie to him. He'll know it.

"Honestly, I don't know."

Reno pressed one final button and placed the phone in his lap. "I hate that."

"Hate…what?"

"When people say 'honestly'. It draws unnecessary attention to the statement. It makes a person wonder if everything else that you've said was a lie, or if what you're saying now is a lie and you want me to believe that you are not lying by saying honestly, which just cheapens the statement. It's a little annoying." Reno shrugged. He picked his phone back up and glanced at the screen.

"…um...I…never thought about it like that but I'm not lying. I just…I guess I've been too busy…"

Why does everybody keep asking me about why I haven't visited Tseng? Has he been asking about me? I doubt it. He probably doesn't even notice. I'm sure he understands. Maybe he gets it better than I do.

"What happened in that temple?" Reno glanced at his screen and then focused on me.

Warmth brushed my cheeks. Why is he asking me that? "That's all in my report, Reno."

He waved it off. "I know _that_. I mean...did anything else happen? Opportunity certainly was knocking. Hehehe…" he picked up his phone again and started pressing buttons in response to another text message, "You know what I think, Laney? I think that you missed a great opportunity to visit him. You could have finished what you started…hehehe…"

"I didn't start anything, Reno."

"I'm just sayin' Laney…you like Tseng and I'm sure Tseng's aware of it…" he wiggled his eyebrows, "it would have been pretty poetic if you'd have confessed your undying devotion to him while he was ailing in a hospital bed. Unless you did that in the temple. Either way, pretty dramatic and romantic, don't ya think?"

There is no way I'm responding to that. He's not going to make me admit that Tseng asked me out to dinner. I'm still not sure what the reasoning behind his question was. He might've meant as a celebratory thing for finishing the assignment. He might have wanted to question me about something else. He might've just been being nice. Or..he might have..but..I'm not answering that. I came to Reno for a specific purpose and he's not cooperating. I need to change the subject.

"Will you be serious? I have something to tell you."

"I _am _being serious. This is my serious face." He snickered to himself as he read a response on his cell phone. "…really Laney, you haven't visited him and he wants to know why. He thinks you're avoiding him."

"N-no he doesn't."

"Fine. He never said it, but that doesn't mean he's not thinking it." Reno started typing another text message. What in the world, are they talking about? Maybe I can change the subject by asking him about he and Rude's text message conversation.

"Okay..well…I'll see him eventually. What are you and Rude talking about?"

"Why do you figure that it is Rude? What if I'm texting Tseng about how cute you look right now. I'm telling him about that adorable thing you do when you wrinkle your nose or bite those lovely lips of yours. And then you're doing that thing when you're uncomfortable and being defensive by crossing your arms and scratching the left one despite not actually itching."

"What? I don't scratch my arm.."

"Oh really?" he gestured towards me.

Sure enough, my arms were crossed and my right hand was running up and down my left arm. Crap. I never realized that. "Well um..maybe I am uncomfortable because you keep asking me weird questions, but I know you're texting Rude."

"Oh? And how so?" Reno resumed texting with a soft chuckle.

"Because, you're snickering and stuff in that secretive way that you only do when you and Rude are exchanging inside jokes."

That's true enough.

"Whatever. That's not nearly as specific as mine was. Which brings us back to what I was saying—"

"Did you say I have lovely lips?"

"Yes. They're so cute, I especially like it when you bite them like what you're doing right now…" Reno took his feet down from the desk and started pulling open drawers again, "and the way you fill out that uniform…" he trailed off suggestively.

"Reno, shut up." I pushed the door closed. I don't want anybody else hearing this.

He checked his phone, snickered, responded to Rude, and went back on his half-assed search. "But it is true Laneypuff. You're gorgeous. My heart beats a little faster every time I see your beautiful blond face and those muddy brown eyes. No..hmm..mud isn't a good description..they're pools of –hmmm…I wonder how Tseng would describe it."

"I don't care how he'd describe it_", I totally care how he'd describe it_, "and I just want to talk to you about something really important. Stop talking to me about Tseng."

Reno snickered, responded to another text, and placed his phone on the desk. "Okay. What do you want to tell me?"

Thank goodness. "It is about—"

"Your undying devotion for Tseng?"

"Reno!"

"Hear me out, 'puff. I think that you need to take a break. Relax. Chill out. I think that you and Tseng owe it to each other."

"Owe it to each other?"

"Yes. He'll be less uptight, you'll be less uptight…it works out for me and you two get benefits as well."

"Reno that makes no sense."

"Sure it does."

"Reno, I may or may not have a slight fascination with Tseng, but it does not matter."

"Why not?"

"Because we're not here to talk about him. We're here to talk about the Weapons Department assignment. So no, it doesn't matter if Tseng asked me out to dinner or not or whatever because that's not important right now. Okay?"

"Whoa whoa whoa! He asked you out to dinner? "

Damn.

I paused before responding, there is no way I'm answering that either. It's not a big deal. "The blueprints for the Prod Clod have been returned. Sara found them on her desk a few hours ago, and there's even more to it than that." I sank down into a chair on the opposite side of the desk and ran a hand through my hair.

"Really?" Reno looked up from his search momentarily.

"Yes."

"Okay, tell me about it." Reno continued to sift through drawers while his cell phone lay temporarily forgotten on the desk. "and don't think for a second that I forgot about that dinner invitation."

"I'm going to pretend that you did forget about it. Anyway..um..well..Sara says that…" I explained everything. Reno continued to go through the desk's contents but his expression was frozen during the majority of my explanation. Then he opened his mouth to speak only to be cut off abruptly by his cell phone vibrating on his desk.

Reno picked it up. "Reno here."

He was quiet for a moment, a subtle frown briefly crossed his face. "Okay. Sure. Hey, hold on why didn't we know about this earlier before now? Okay. I understand. I'll get it done," he ended the call, and a small smirk materialized on his face. "Heey…Laneypuff?"

"Yeeah?" I don't like it when he looks at me like that. It's just so….

"Well. I'm thinking that I'll continue your investigation for you. I'll talk to Sara and all that for you, get that picture for you and everything." Reno glanced at his phone, "and this is the part where you ask me why."

"Why?"

"Well, because…" he clasped his hands together in the shape of a teepee and rested his chin on the two fingers that met together in the point. "…you're going on an assignment."

"What? Is that what that call was about?"

"Wouldn't you believe it? We got some pretty late information from our source—yknow Reeve—that Cloud and his buddies are on route to the Northern Continent and they should be arriving by tomorrow. So I'm going to need you to run interference to prevent them from reaching the summit of the Northern Crater so they can't interfere with ShinRa's dealings up there tomorrow. Neat, huh? And to think you were bored." He grinned.

Interference. I've known that ShinRa was going to the Northern Continent for about a week now, and I've been trying to forget the fact that I wasn't asked to help out on what looks like a very important assignment. Rude is going to watch professor Hojo. Rufus and other executives are going too. I tried not to let myself believe that I would have been asked to go if I hadn't had that unfortunate confrontation with Rufus. Coupled with the fact that I was almost certain that Cloud and Co would find their ways up there for the simple fact that they always have a tendency to appear wherever ShinRa is around…well…it was a hard pill to swallow. I just about had swallowed it though, and had told myself that I'd get my answers from Cloud some other time, but now..well..I'll take simple interference and/or arresting. I can make a difference. I'll get this one right.

"So what do you think?"

"I…I guess I'll go.."

"You're welcome. I would've done it myself but…meh.", he shrugged, and "I think you need to go on this assignment."

"I do. But..what about Sara?" I can't just skip out on her like this. That would be unfriendly and just plain wrong.

"Weren't you listening 'puff? I'll handle that stuff. Now go get ready to leave in an hour."

* * *

**GW08: Whoa. Didn't mean to take that long to update! ^_^ I don't really know what else to say other than, I shall be updating again soon (for real this time xD). I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It took a while for me to decide what direction I wanted this chapter to take, but then school sort of got in the way and writing my other stuff. No worries though, Flux is still alive and well. Elena wouldn't have it any other way. And I have a lot planned (cue: crazy author laugh). So yep, please review, because I really do appreciate insightful feedback. Questions, comments, and randomness are all appreciated. **

**Also, if you spot any surface errors I'd love to know. There always seems to be errors regardless of how many times I read over these chapters. **


	29. Snow and Lights

-vvv-

* * *

**Chapter 29**

Snow and Lights

* * *

Wind whistled through the air as I tugged on my black leather gloves. My boots sank into a fresh blanket of snow that glittered like diamonds against the golden glow of a steadily sinking sun. I tightened my coat around me and leaned against the silent helicopter. My mom was born in Icicle and so was her mom. The last time I was in Icicle, I was barely a teenager. Two ShinRa guards stood stiffly against wooden posts that hold up the name of the village. My sister and I used to race towards those posts every time we came for a vacation. I remember the first time I made it to the posts before her. That was the last time we visited…

_The wind whipped my hair into my face and stung my eyes, temporarily blinding me. Through the stinging tears, I glared at sisters back as she ran past me as fast as her long legs would let her. I was not going to let her win again, I wanted to wipe that smug look off her face. I took off, kicking snow in every direction. The wind slapped my exposed skin like daggers; my scarf unraveled and flew off as I swept past her. She shouted. I stretched my hand out towards the post—only a few more feet….just a few more…_

_My ankle twisted beneath me and I suddenly found myself face down in the snow. I struggled to stand up quickly and saw my sister speeding ahead of me and laughing triumphantly. I lunged. She clawed at my face through her gloves; I grabbed a clump of her hair and pushed her away before whipping around. Everything was a blur, I started for the post again, it was only a few inches away now, but there was a weight around my ankles. She clung to my leg, half laughing, and half threatening me. I pulled on, ignoring the growing pain in my leg and continued to drag her in the snow._

_My fingers brushed the wooden post. She released my ankle with a loud groan. Excitement rushed through me. I bent down in the snow, and fished out a sharp blade that we'd buried in the ground years ago and carved my first mark into the wooden post. Her flushed snow covered face glared up at me. I extended my hand, relishing the victory._

_"Well?" I extended my hand._

_She stood up on her own and dusted herself off, "Eh. Took you long enough."_

_I glanced at our parents a few feet behind us, mom was clapping and whistling, and dad had his hands stuffed in his pockets. I rested my arm around my sister's shoulder, knowing she'd hate that. "Well there's a first time for everything isn't it?"_

_"More than you know." she slipped her arm around my waist and offered a smile."Maybe I let you win." _

Maybe she did. Or maybe she didn't, and just wanted to cheapen my victory. I could ask her about it now, and find out what she'd say but I'm not entirely sure if that's possible.

"Hey?"

The pilot was standing there with his arms crossed and a few black bags sitting in the snow around him. I glanced at him, and he quirked an eyebrow expectantly.

"What?"

"I'm going to set this stuff up if you don't mind," he trailed off and cleared his throat.

"Okay. I'll be…around…" I tried to smile, but found that I couldn't. He nodded and trudged off in the snow towards the entrance.

He stopped, said something to the guards and pointed in my direction then disappeared into the village. After a moment, I pulled myself away from the helicopter and started towards the entrance. The soldiers stood a little straighter when I reached them and said stiff greetings. I smiled slightly, knowing very well that it wasn't technically me that they were showing respect to, but what I represented. I guess I have to take what I can get sometimes, eh? I ignored the soft voice in the back of my head that told me to ask the one on the left to move so I could check and see if our tally marks were still carved into the wood.

Houses capped with snow glittered against the golden rays from the setting sun. Mountains sat quietly in the distance against a grayish sky that looked nothing like Migdar's. Village children ran around in the snow, enjoying the last few minutes of freedom before they had to go back inside. In the center of the village was a large fountain with a statue of a young woman in a long dress pouring partially frozen water into the base. As kids, my sister and I used to play in that fountain. It is a lot deeper than it looks; I learned that the hard way when she decided to throw me in one afternoon. Said it was payback for eating something of hers. She told our mom later that the reason I was shivering and trying to claw her eyes out while being soaking wet and dripping all over the new carpet was because I thought I saw a penny down there, so I got excited and just dove right in.

I eased down onto the frozen edge of the fountain and crossed my arms. By now, sunlight was gradually sliding away from the village. In a little wooden private home a few feet away, the lights turned on and an old man walked around inside. He looked out of the window, directly at me and slipped the curtains closed. Heh. I used to play with the children that lived there. They are probably all gone now, but we used to have a lot of fun together until I ended up punching one of them in the face during a particularly rough game of tag. Then my parents wouldn't let me around them anymore unless I apologized. I was going to apologize but my sister told me that she'd seen the whole thing from their porch and thus they deserved it. Now that I think about it, how _did_ she see what transpired? I don't remember her being out that day.

Shadows stretched out across the snow as the last rays of sunlight slipped away from the village and dozens of lampposts came on automatically. Wind rustled the trees and brushed against my exposed cheek. In the sky, the moon peeked out from behind the clouds. Is it as beautiful as it used to be at night? Sometimes after dinner, mom and dad would go outside and talk in quiet tones to each other. Usually, my sister and I would end up slipping out of the house and sitting with them. Several times, we came out just as mom and dad were about to _warm each other _up. I'd sit next to my mom or in her lap as she rocked back and forth in a wooden chair that she said was carved by her great grandfather. She always smelled like a mix of her favorite flowery soap, salt, and whatever we'd eaten that night. She'd curl her arms around me and whisper silly comments in my ear. My dad and sister never knew exactly what we'd be giggling about over there—and really I wasn't sure what we were laughing about either.

The snow shimmered under the silver-white glow of the moon. The night sky was blanketed with millions of stars that winked back at me as if they were all in on a secret and were giving me a chance to be in on it too. The curtains moved and someone cut off the lights in that old house. Two children and an adult trudged across the snow towards a lodge. I curled my stiffening fingers into my palm and inhaled softly. I forced myself to stand, ignoring the slight protest in my joints. I rubbed my gloved hands together until warmth spread through my palms and fingers then stuffed them in my pockets.

The lodge that ShinRa had booked for the pilot and me was only a few steps away, most of its lights glowing. There were a few people out on the steps holding a conversation that I couldn't hear. I turned away from them and headed down a narrow tree-lined path.

Branches and snow crunched under my feet as I headed further from the main village. White moonlight glided across a frozen lake. I stopped at the edge of the lake. There were fresh grooves carved into its glassy surface, which signified blades from ice skates. I used to leave our vacation home and come out here alone at night to avoid having to watch my sister assert her superiority over me. She'd always invite me to skate with her and I would always end up hating the fact that she had more grace and skill than I did. I kept trying to make up for the fact that she had an extra couple year's experience.

I turned away from the lake and continued down the path until I stopped at a wooden two-story house with big windows and a wraparound porch. The windows were dark and lifeless against the star-filled sky. Icicles hung precariously from the roof. Several layers of caked on snow and ice lingered on the steps. Three large wooden chairs sat quietly near the front door. It looked exactly how it did the last time we visited. I wrapped my fingers around the wooden banister and gingerly made my way onto the porch. _Creak. _A strong gust of wind blasted past, and an eerie musical noise filled the air. A set of wind chimes swung over my head. _Welcome back._

Why do I feel like I'm being watched?

The window was cool beneath my hands; my silhouette stared back at me. I pressed my face against the glass and leaned in. The wind chimes continued to sing. Through the heavy curtains was nothing but shapeless shadows. I reached for the doorknob and tried it, but it did not budge. I made my way around to the other side of the house, to the back door. Beside the backdoor was a wall sconce with a blown out bulb. I knew that there was a spare key hidden in there. I stood on the tips of my boots and slipped my fingers into the glass orb. My heart sank and leapt at the same time as my fingers brushed a tiny object. A few seconds later, a tiny silver key rested in my palm. My mom had put it back here the year before my sister became a Turk. She said with a secretive smirk that it would be nice to have a spare key 'just in case'. She never explained what she meant by it.

I moved to unlock the door, but hesitated. I glanced over my shoulder at the steps that led off the back porch. I remember that I spent a lot of time on those steps alone on the last night we ever spent up here together.….

_I drew my knees up tightly against my chest. Other than the wind chimes distantly singing from the front of the house, there was complete silence. I shifted my position and hugged my knees tighter. The chilly air seeped quickly into my clothes and through my skin to my bones but I didn't care. I didn't want to go back inside._

_The door behind me slowly opened and closed and a shadow spread out in front of me. I stared at my hands and said nothing, hoping that whoever it was would go away._

_"You coming back inside?"_

_My sister. The last person that I wanted to come out and see me like this with tears of frustration still chilling against my cheeks. I opened my mouth to respond but held back because I was afraid that my voice would betray me. I hated when my emotions spilled out of my eyes. Hers never did. Or at least, she kept them to herself._

_When I didn't answer after a few seconds, she scoffed and shifted from foot to foot. "Mom is worried that you'll get sick. So…come on in already." I felt her hand clench my shoulder. I pried her hand off, digging my nails into her flesh._

_"Whoa. Seriously?" she snatched her hand back. I instantly felt like an idiot. "…what's your problem?"_

_Tears stung my eyes, but I managed a very aggressive—yet startlingly pitiful—"no." I was not jealous, I told myself, just annoyed. I felt like a failure. Several minutes ago, my parents were praising her sudden announcement that she was being seriously evaluated for a coveted place in ShinRa's Investigative Sector of the General Affairs Department. They'd told her that they had had a feeling that she was going to get in, that our father had been hearing things. I couldn't take their smiling and excited listening anymore as she explained what had been going on—I felt pathetic and unworthy. Ignored. So, to make myself heard I stood up abruptly from the table, threw my utensils down, yelled something about me being just as deserving and marched out of the backdoor, ignoring my parents calling after me._

_I was instantly ashamed of my immature outburst. I loathed myself at that moment, but I loathed her and ShinRa even more for considering her over me. Losing my temper just proved that I really wasn't as good as my sister._

_"You're jealous." She wasn't asking, she was stating it as a fact._

_I hate it when she thinks she's right._

_"No I'm not." I sounded like a bratty child, and that realization made me angrier with myself and even more so with her for not being as brash as I usually was. For once, I wanted her to be the one that was scolded for talking too much, being overzealous and unfocused, and for being impatient. She stood straighter, talked less, was more assertive, and knew how not to overdo things. She was even a slightly better marksman than I was which is why I chose hand-to-hand combat as my specialty. Yes. I was jealous, but to admit it would prove everyone else right._

_"Hmph…well…sure seems like it…" she muttered._

_I struggled to suppress a shuddering gasp. "Go …away…"_

_"And if I don't?" I could feel her eyes boring into my head, "You'll try to attack me or something? We all know how that usually goes…"_

_"_You_ usually cheat." My voice wavered despite my desire to sound as strong as possible._

_"It's not cheating. The goal is to overpower your opponent, _not_ to be predictable or to do unnecessarily flashy moves that can get you killed."_

_She always said that and she was right. Our marks were almost the same, but hers were always just a little bit better. Just a little. _

_"Go away."_

_"When are you coming back in?"_

_"When I feel like it." I said, "You can go now. You fulfilled your duty. I know mom and dad sent you out here…" I closed my eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling, but somehow they forced themselves through the cracks._

_She was silent for a second, and then she did that annoying thing where she chose her_ _words very carefully and spoke painfully slow. "Actually…I came out here on my own."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because you're my little sister." Her words almost disappeared on the chilly night air._

_"Liar." I bit my lip to stop it from quivering and kept my eyes shut tight._

_The wind chimes tinkled._

_"I'm going back inside."I heard the door close with a snap._

_A few more tears slid down my face, I sat there freezing for a few more moments before I finally wiped my tears away furiously and slipped back inside._

I dropped the key into my pocket and made my way down the steps. I don't need any more distractions.

I made my way to the inn, checked in, and wandered the halls until I found my room. I unlocked the door and went inside without bothering to cut on the lights. I felt my way through the darkness and sat down at the corner of the bed. I slipped out of my boots, jacket, and tie, undid a few buttons, and collapsed onto the mattress. I stared at bits of moonlight that dashed across the ceiling.

* * *

"Hold on. How many did you see?"

"Eight, ma'am."

"There should be one more._"_

"There's definitely only eight."

"Understood."

I stared through the trees.

Whatever it was, I needed closure. Too many nights had gone by with me staring into a dark room trying to sleep, with only the rain as company. I usually thought about stuff that I knew that I couldn't change—at least, not right then: wondering if Tseng was okay and what he was thinking when I was with him. How long—how _painful_ it must've been for him to struggle through that maze of a temple and make it outside. What if I hadn't made it in time? I could barely fly the helicopter while he was drifting between consciousnesses. All of this could've been avoided. I wanted to know why. For _once_ I wanted to know what happened and why. I deserved the truth. After that… I might be able to… get answers about so many other things.

Everything else could fall into place.

"Ma'am?"

"Report."

"The leader is heading to your location."

I brushed flakes of snow from my coat and rubbed my hands together. A branch snapped and heavy footsteps crushed the snow nearby. Seconds later, a figure crossed in front of the trees. Quietly, I stepped out. _There he is_. His oversized sword gleamed in the sunlight. His hands were stuffed in his pockets as he stood near the edge of the steep slope that was used for skiing. Wind moved his tousled shock of blond hair.

"Cloud!"

He glanced over his shoulder, his bright blue eyes seemingly looking through me. He stared for a moment, then his eyes brightened with recognition and he turned around to face me. "Hey…uh…what's down there?" he thrust a thumb in the direction of the trail that suddenly disappeared off the edge of the cliff.

How could he talk to me like that? Like we're _friends_? Like I'm the idiot that'll just run off at the mouth whenever he asks questions?

"You're not going anywhere. And do you really expect me to tell you that?"

He _shrugged_.

My fist smashed into the side of his jaw. He spun through the air, sending flurries of snow in every direction before landing onto the ground with a heavy thud. He didn't groan, or struggle to get up. His golden hair moved in the wind, and the sun bounced off the useless sword attached to his back. Cautiously, I took a step forward. There was no movement from Cloud. I approached him quickly and sank down into the snow. The offending hand hovered over his exposed cheek. A tiny silver stud glittered in his ear, his pale lashes fluttered against his pale skin. A frown was etched into his brow and his mouth was set in a grim line.

Leaves rustled around us and branches snapped behind me. Two soldiers appeared, hovering near the edge of the scene.

"Follow me…" I said with as much authority as I could muster. _Don't think, don't think_, _just walk._

They moved towards Cloud and lifted him easily. His head lolled around, bumping against his chest, his muscular arms hung limp and useless around the soldiers, and his boots and sword dragged against the snow. Why didn't he move?

I led them through the trees until we reached the frozen lake beside which my parent's old vacation home stood quietly beneath a roof of glittering snow. The soldiers asked each other what was going on. I swept past them, ordering them in what I hope is an authoritative voice to hurry up.

I looked back at Cloud's limp body bumping against the soldiers. If he were conscious, he'd take them both out easily, especially the one struggling under his weight. I turned away and headed up the front steps. The wind chime sang eerily as a chilly wind brushed past us. I slipped my hands into my coat and fished out the keys. There was a thump as the soldiers and Cloud made their way up the steps.

"Who's place is this?" one of them –the more broad shouldered and husky-voiced one—mused under his breath.

"Dunno. Been on duty here a year and ain't never noticed nobody in or out." The smaller one answered.

"Locals say it's haunted."

"Shut up." The key slid into the keyhole and turned it. _Click._

With one hand, I pushed open the door. It creaked and dragged against the carpet until finally stopping a few inches from the wall.

Dust particles floated around lazily, glinting like gold in the sunlight. My boots clacked noisily against the hardwood floors of the entrance hall. There was a chill in the air, which smelled oddly of stale cigarettes, lemons, snow, and cedar as well as the slight hint of perfume. I led them into the living room. The curtains were drawn apart, allowing beams of sunlight to lay across the dust-covered coffee table and furniture covered in white sheets, both of which were situated around a stone fireplace. The wooden vaulted ceiling had skinny cobwebs dangling from it. A wood-carved staircase winded up to the second floor and connected with a balcony.

"What should we do with him?" one of them grunted.

Hold them as long as I tell you to, how about that?

"Um...put him there." I pointed to longest couch. Part of the sheet covering it was slipping off the corner, revealing maroon upholstery.

The soldiers dumped Cloud face down onto the couch. There was a loud pop as his knuckles hit the coffee table on their way down to the hardwood floors. We waited for a second but he didn't respond—did I really hit him thathard? He deserved it. The smaller soldier attempted to remove his sword from his back, only to break into a sweat as soon as it was free. The other soldier hesitated before freeing it from his grasp, and even still, he struggled to move it against a wall, practically dragging it across the floor.

He placed it next to a decorative mirror that had the slightest hint of a handprint pressed against it. He turned towards me expectantly, fingering a pair of electric cuffs hanging off his belt. "Should we bind him?"

The smaller one looked down at Cloud and crossed his arms over his chest.

I shook my head. I don't want them in here any longer than they had to be. Besides, I'm pretty sure that Cloud would be capable of removing himself from those cuffs. I'll just point my gun at his face. There was no way he could outrun a bullet—well, he probably could—but I doubt he could handle one at close range. He's not getting out of here, even if this wasn't an official assignment.

"Just go. Wait outside or something."

After a moment of hesitation, they exited into the hall. A second later, the front door closed with a snap. The sound of the wind chime broke the otherwise chilly silence in the house. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and looked around from my spot. There was a row of misshapen pottery lining the mantelpiece above the fireplace. There was five where there should be six, because I threw one of them at my sister's head one day during a heated discussion about whether or not I liked one of the neighborhood boys. There was a spot on the area rug under the coffee table that was darkened by red wine. I had tipped it over accidentally while stumbling back in horror after finding my parents cuddled up in a blanket on the couch sharing wine, and apparently each other.

That was such a long time ago. We stopped going out together very much after that. My sister would be busy with ShinRa things. I was busy getting myself into all sorts of trouble. Spying on people, getting myself kidnapped among other things and effectively embarrassing my sister at work.

Even still, things were still relatively normal until I came home to our apartment in Midgar one day and found mom crying, dad missing (he was at ShinRa headquarters I found out later), and a neighbor sitting with mom. I'd never seen my mom cry like that before. She'd cried about stupid stuff before—during sad parts in movies and from laughter—but not like this. Before I could ask what was wrong, she looked up me and called me Elyssa—my sister. Then, realizing her mistake, she burst into tears. I remember breaking things and blaming people and swearing a lot when it hit me what was wrong. Nothing felt real, and my mind was rushing so fast I could barely stand.

That night, I found my mom sitting in our living room attempting to make sense of things. They were sitting in the dark, silhouetted by moonlight attempting to make its way through thick dark clouds sliding across the sky. Dad was doing most of the talking. He explained that Elyssa had gone _missing_ during a 'dangerous assignment'. In other words, she was dead to ShinRa. As soon as he said it, I knew it couldn't be true. I remember feeling oddly like I was being watched in that dark hallway, peering around the corner at my parents. He went on to say that usually when ShinRa reported someone dead or missing, that usually meant they were in danger and it was in their best interest to remain missing. Mom interrupted right here, and I heard the word 'traitor'. Dad calmed her down, and told her that he'd heard from his source—who I don't know—that the Turks have been "under investigation", which is a death sentence usually. Something about a possible mole and liquidation by President ShinRa.

My thoughts were swirling, and I ended up making myself known. Dad looked at me as if I had two heads and my intestines were sitting out of my body and maybe I had reptilian skin and had unhinged my jaw to eat him. He might have told me to go to bed. I started yelling and crying at the same time. I remember mom getting up and folding me into her arms, whispering something in my ear, crying too. I yelled over her shoulder that Dad was a coward. I don't remember what happened after that.

But I do remember that around the same time, Vice President ShinRa had been sent to Junon.

A couple of months passed. Mom and dad started paying more attention to me and less to each other. Sometimes I'd hear them arguing with each other about Elyssa. I don't think I was making things better by coming in all hours of the night with bruises, cuts, and scratches. And, smelling even worse—I was trying to do my own investigating—not to mention trying to get noticed.

Things got worse and better simultaneously when I turned sixteen. Mom was usually trying to find something to distract herself. Dad took more interest in my skills and pushed me harder than he ever did when Elyssa was around—except for always saying I wasn't focused enough. I wanted to outgrow her shadow and make Mom and Dad find comfort that they still had me and that was I just was good. But ShinRa still didn't contact me even after I turned seventeen, despite several close encounters with their Turks. It was odd that there only seemed to be three of them walking around at any given time. Mom and dad separated and by the time I was nineteen they were divorced. Mom got sick from Midgar's air—she'd never really gotten used to it since she was born in Icicle, raised in Mideel, and lived in Kalm for most of her young adult life until she married Dad. The stress had been getting to her fickle immune system. She had to move away.

I followed her because she wanted me to. I felt like a monster for partially wanting to stay and convince ShinRa to let me join them. For several months, I went with her to Kalm. Riding chocobos, going to fairs, keeping my skills in check late at night and early in the mornings whenever she was asleep. Then ShinRa called. Apparently, they were rebuilding their 'team' and was interested in me. I was so irritated that I declined so that they could beg. I 'm pretty sure I told the person on the phone to f—k off. One morning after returning from racing chocobos across a field (kweh), I got called by ShinRa again. Mom kept hinting that while it was my decision, she'd love it if I didn't get involved with ShinRa, despite the fact that I hadn't told her anything about them calling. Then shortly after that ShinRa helicopter landed a little outside of Kalm just for me. It was early in the morning, mom was asleep, and I was training outside. I didn't even realize Tseng was standing there watching me until I was done. He introduced himself as the man I'd told to f—k off.

Mom still hasn't answered my calls. I was going to go visit her, but then President ShinRa was killed and Rufus arrived to take his place— and I've been distracted since. Not a very good excuse, is it?

"Ugh…"

Cloud's eyes sprung open, and he stared blankly at the ceiling for a moment. He sat upright, buried his face in his hands, groaned, and swore under his breath. He pushed his fingers through his hair. His eyes swept over the room then landed on me.

"Hey, Cloud."

He jumped up and vaulted over the couch, rushing across the floor. My gun slipped into my hands and I squeezed the trigger as his fingers wrapped around the hilt of his blade. _Clink._ The bullet connected with his blade, and he released it on reflex. The sword clattered loudly against the floor. Cloud grimaced, but didn't move.

"What do you want from me?"

"You've got a lot of nerve, Cloud! Don't move or I swear I will put the next one in your face."

Cloud stopped. His eyes darted around the room. My finger twitched against the trigger.

"You don't understand."

"I _don't_ understand something. Why'd you hurt my boss like that?"

"W-what? Your boss? Tseng?"

"Don't act all cute and surprised!"

"Look, Elena..." he raised his hands in surrender. Cautious bastard. "Sephiroth did that."

_Liar._

"I ain't got a reason to lie. He gave us the key on his own."

"Don't insult my intelligence. Tseng would never just hand something over to you like that. You were desperate. You saw him leaving and jumped him like the trash you are. You left him there to die. Do you have any idea what it felt like finding him broken like that? Bleeding to death on the ground. Do you know what it's like to feel hopeless and scared and alone while someone's life slips away like that? So don't give me that bull! I _saw_ you! I thought you had standards but you're just traitorous filth with no respect for life! You could never imagine what it feels like to lose someone, or be uncertain if you'll ever see them again! SO DON'T LIE TO ME Cloud! Find a shred of decency—"

"You _IDIOT _I _am_ telling the truth! He killed your boss. He killed Aerith! She's gone because of him! You don't know ANYTHING!"

"Tseng's not…dead."

He looks up at me, then down at the couch, which he's now digging his fingers into the back of. His hair falls into his face, he rocks back and forth slightly. Silence. I let my arms drop to my sides, I can't shoot anyway,—my hands are shaking.

"I'm sorry about Aerith—"

"I don't want your pity. I want you to let me go."

"I can't. I have my orders—"

"Your orders are worthless. You need to let me go. This is a waste of our time and you know it."

"I'm not letting you go."

Why not? They expect me to fail anyway. All I was told to do was detain Cloud and his party. I've done that more or less, right? There's no way they'd make it up that mountain in time to interfere with ShinRa , right? Maybe. What would my sister do? She'd keep him until further notice. He'd be bound and gagged, gun pressed against his cheek. Her hands would be steady and she'd be unreadable. She'd say I've ruined everything. But that's expected. Being good at this would be disappointing.

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Exactly what I said. And if you really wanted to get away wouldn't you have done it by now?"

Cloud frowned slightly, and his eyes flickered to the windows behind me. Someone banged on the door and yelled his name.

"Cloud? You in there?"

"Don't move."

Really? Any second now the one with the humungous breasts is gonna knock down the door looking for him. What if the others were with her? She has probably leapt off a roof and knocked the guards out if she was already at the front door. Could I take her? Yeah, probably. But not all of them. What to do, what to do?

_Bang bang_. "Cloud?"

He gave me an exasperated you're-making-this-harder-on-yourself 50% grimace and inched towards his sword.

_Bang bang. _"Cloud, you there?" The door rattled.

Really. What could I possibly get out of this? I didn't want revenge, and I doubted that I'd be getting any glory for this vague assignment. I'm not even sure I want it. What good could I possibly be doing to anyone not involved to _not_ let them go? Well maybe not _let,_ just… fail to succeed in my mission. Yeah, and besides, I was told to _detain_ not to _capture_. I doubted they would reach the summit in time to interfere with ShinRa. Right?

"Okay."

"Okay?" Cloud's brows shot up into his hair.

"Don't make me change my mind."

"Okay okay." Cloud grabbed his sword and sprinted for the front door. Hastily, he opened it, causing the busty one to almost fall into the living room.

"Cloud! What the—" her dark gaze met mine, and her eyes narrowed.

"Let's go. I'll explain later." He hastily ushered her back over the threshold while glancing over his shoulder to offer a weird aborted smile, then stepped out of the front door while Tifa talked rapidly about ShinRa.

Silence.

Outside, the guards were in a groaning/sobbing heap on the porch. One of the big wooden chairs was turned over and mysterious wooden splinters were around them. The chimes sung gently in the wind.

* * *

The pilot asked me if I was ready to be back home as Midgar appeared in the horizon, glittering with defiance against a starless night sky filled with thick grey clouds. He said he was ready, and that the cold weather and clean, thin air didn't agree with him. He also said that he had a wife and kids waiting on him. I nodded, and opened my mouth to respond, but all that came out was a grunt—sorta like a hungry kitten daring a person to touch their grub. Or not. What did I have waiting for me? Tseng injured in the hospital—my fault. Reno asking questions, and who knows what else. My lack of communication with my mom? Dad? What about my sister? And what about Rufus? I'm glad he was gone at least for a day. I didn't need him distracting me. That's all I have been doing—wasting my time with distractions. I've got to do something, but what? And I've gotta fix some things, but how? I don't know, but I had time to figure it out, right?

I jumped down from the helicopter and dusted stray bits of snow from my shoulders and scraped some off my boots. The pilot disappeared around the helicopter, checking on something. I leaned against the body and fished my phone of out my pocket. Any messages? Missed calls? No? Oh. I dunno what I am expecting, a warm hug from Reno? I'd kill to see his devilish grin and the lingering smell of cigarette smoke right about now.

I looked up at the sky. Do I really wanna be back? I pulled myself off the cool metal hull of the helicopter, and tossed a wayward farewell to the pilot. He waved me off.

Suddenly, a bright blinding white light filled the sky, blocking out everything for several seconds. And then it faded, leaving behind an eerie silence.

* * *

vvv

* * *

_**GW08:**_

**_Hey guys! Sorry about the long wait, it really wasn't supposed to take this long. I just wasn't happy with Cloud and Elena's scene and redid it a few times. Actually, I was a little uncertain about providing so much information about Elena's family situation in one chapter like this, but I think it's necessary for the next half. Speaking of updates, I have some news: I finally have a beta. Everyone, say hi to Vanelo159. She'll be proofreading for me mostly, and sometimes we'll bounce ideas around. I think because of this, I'll be able to update in a much more timely fashion like I used to before I got really bogged down with school stuff and sheer creative exhaustion from my writing class at school. Having a beta will reduce the time I have to take in proofreading and editing entire scenes, I think. My other news is that I created a forum a few months ago, and I'd love it if y'all would check it out. It's a forum of writing prompts exclusively for FFVII fanfiction, most of which will focus on the Turks (of course). I've only posted a couple, but once I see some interest in the forum, Someone2003 and I plan on making more prompts, maybe once a week or something, for people to play around with. The idea came to me because I wanted to see more Turk fanfiction generated (okay fine, mostly Rufus/Elena fanfiction, it would be nice to see another writer's handling of this pairing. There aren't enough fics for them!) and I think random prompts are fun anyway. If anyone else would like to join the forum staff, PM me and I'll add you._**

**_All that aside, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter. The next one should be posted before the end of the month, especially since I know exactly what I want to happen in Chapter 30 (hint: Rufus is back!). And as usual, I'd appreciate some reviews, especially for this chapter, I really would love some feedback. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you're having a lovely summer._**


	30. Smoke Without Fire

-vvvv-

* * *

**Chapter 30**

_**Smoke Without Fire**_

* * *

"Early yesterday morning, the world witnessed the first real response from ShinRa in this ongoing crisis….a very commendable effort that possibly has restored faith in ShinRa's ability to handle this rapidly changing situation—"

"—alas, no word has been received yet from ShinRa's young president—"

"—Space centers are saying the meteor will impact the planet within 3 days—"

"—this is ShinRa's fault foolin' round with nature 'n actin' like those young kids was at fault. Lemme tell you. ShinRa doing thangs they ain't got no business as usual. I'm tellin ya, they pervertin' nature up in heah. I tell you what da problem is, it dat new frilly lil boy they got runnin' thangs, he too busy in the mirror—"

"—citizens are stocking up on goods, flash lights-whatever they may need in these potentially apocalyptic situations. Well folks we have a list of things you should get—"

"—sources say employees have been ordered not to hold conversations with reporters upon threat of termination—"

"-Sapphire W.E.A.P.O.N.S' destruction at the hands of ShinRa's Mako Canon brings new hope that the beasts that have been terrorizing the Planet will be yesterday's news by the end of the week. More after a word from our sponsors—"

"-the ShinRa President and executives are returning with the Sister Ray cannon today. Hopefully, the President can offer some insight into what the company plans to do—"

Whatever.

I turn off the radio and stare at the red light dangling above the intersection. It has been a week since I got back from Icicle, and saying things are bad would be an understatement. Well, at least things are bad everywhere else. It doesn't seem real because nothing has happened to Midgar yet—more importantly, nothing has happened to _me_.

We—Reno and me—watched it all unfold on television while waiting on ShinRa to call, to give us actual orders or some kind of information. They never called. Not even when we were watching Sister Ray blow the head off the W.E.A.P.O.N., they're calling Sapphire. We learned everything along with the rest of the world.

Behind the thin strips of rain streaming down the windshield, the sky is a dark reddish color, sort of like something had been ramming repeatedly against the atmosphere and gave it a nasty bruise. The morning after those lights shot across the sky, the sky was pink like cotton candy, but it's gotten worse as the week has went on. Day 7 and it looks like a broken blood vessels around someone's eye.

They said it was the result of the meteor heading towards the planet.

How did things get so bad so fast? And why do I think it's my fault?

Reno doesn't think so. He just waves it off. Heck, when I first told him, he made it sound like disobeying direct orders was a rite of passage. That's fine and all, but I'd rather my rite of passage didn't end the world.

I'd preferred it if it just made me look completely incompetent or something. That's not even a stretch of the imagination. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot anyway.

The light turns green. Reno's car in front of me takes off. I press the pedal down, the tires squeal and the car propels itself across the slick intersection. The ShinRa building gets closer, glittering defiantly against the red sky. I park beside Reno, and before I can even get out of the car good enough, he steps out holding an umbrella and opens my door. He's leaning down halfway most of his face visible, rain framing him from behind. "C'mon," he says. "Rude sent a text. They're about to land."

About to land? At his words, my throat tightens a bit but somehow I manage to slide out and shut the door. I've known they were coming back since yesterday, but I haven't managed to be excited about that. For one, it means that things are going to get even worse—if that's possible. For another, it means I have to deal with my problems. With Rufus.

Realizing I forgot my umbrella, I make a move for the door, but Reno's fingers wrap around my upper arm, stopping me. I look at him over my shoulder—what?

He shrugs, a bit of a wrinkle between his eyebrows, "You're good. C'mon." Reno pulls me under his umbrella, draping an arm around my shoulder. His scent, the faint smell of cigarettes mixed with soap and something else, maybe cologne or something, is comforting, but I still feel like I need to throw up.

I've been trying to get in contact with my mom for days, but I always get a message saying that the number can't be completed as dialed. If the world ends, it'd really suck if I didn't get to talk to her one more time. Perhaps apologize for being such a horrible daughter. And if I'm right and Elyssia is still around, how do I apologize for being such a horrible sister?

Then there's the whole thing with Rufus coming back today. I don't know what to say or how to say it. I don't even know if I want to say anything at all. Or if he'd even want me to say anything.

"So they're almost here," I glance over at Reno. _Rufus_ is almost here. I know, I know there are more important things going on, but I can't help but wonder about…us. I can't walk around and pretend that everything is okay. That's not in my nature.

"You nervous?" Reno's looking down at me, a weird little smile playing on his lips. I feel his fingers apply pressure on my shoulder a little bit.

"No," I say.

"You sure? You seem kinda tense or maybe a little scared," he has the nerve to laugh. "Listen, Laney. Just chill—"

"Don't tell me to relax, because I'm not going to," I snap, "and you pointing out that I'm tense just makes it worse. And I'm not scared, Reno. Okay?" I look away, focusing on the rain covered path ahead of us where people are rushing past, some with umbrellas or raincoats, some without. _Why do I have to care so much?_

A silence falls over us. I can feel his eyes on me. What is he thinking? We reach the front doors, and Reno lets me go in first. I cross my arms over my chest. He closes the umbrella, shakes it out, and walks through the door, locking eyes with me. A little smirk crosses his lips.

"Just then, you looked just like your sister."

"What?"

"C'mon, let's go. We gotta get to the helipads."

What does that even mean? I want to stop him right there in the middle of the lobby, but it's crowded, people pushing each other almost, getting to the elevators, some with small boxes of things that were on their desks. It's not worth it. I follow him across the lobby, and into a special glass elevator almost hidden from view that needed a special card and password to open. It granted roof access. We stepped into the elevator and the doors shut around us. Reno leans against the glass and pretends to be interested in the numbers crawling upward. There's no way I'm letting him get away with that comment. It's the first time any of them have ever directly referred to her. Why now? Does he know something?

"I don't look like my sister," I say. Maybe he'll give me a little more information. Either way, I don't want to hear that I look just like Elyssia. This haircut doesn't help with the comparisons.

"You kinda do, Laney," Reno leans against the glass. The rain comes down in sheets behind him, sliding down the glass, turning the city into a reddish blur. He shrugs, not looking me in the eye, "Explains a few things."

"Like what?"

"Eh, nothing," Reno glances over his shoulder at the city.

A flash of irritation rushes through me. "Tell me right now, or I swear—"

Reno holds up his hands in mock surrender, "You look like her. It's true whether you like it or not. _Why_ are you so wound up?"

"How are you _not _wound up?" I stare at him.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep, or the fact that everything seems to be falling apart, or maybe because I'm not looking forward to seeing a certain person that'll be coming back with the rest of them. Or maybe it's because I'm afraid he's not looking forward to me. Or maybe it's because ever since I left my mom, nothing has went my way, and I've accomplished nothing and now it could all just be…over. Or maybe it's because Reno isn't being very forthcoming and is walking around like he knows more than he's saying.

"Laney, I'm never wound up. It's just how I am," he cast a languid glance out at the sky, "Doesn't mean I'm not worried. I'm just really good at not over thinking everything. You should try it sometime."

I sigh, "Well…yeah…probably…"

Reno looks at me, his head slightly to the side, "Everything'll work out Laney."

"You think so?"

"I have no idea," he admits, and for a moment, the way his gaze shifts, his brow furrows, and his hands go automatically into his pockets tells me he is a little worried. Maybe even more than me. Maybe. He'd never tell me anyway.

"That's not what I wanted to hear. And don't try to change the subject. What were you saying about my sister?"

The elevator stops and the doors slide open before Reno can answer. He's not going to answer anyway. The doors begin to close. Reno sticks his arm out and pushes the doors back, then slips out with a casual, yet oddly critical glance in my direction, "You wouldn't wanna hear it anyway."

"Reno," I have to trot to keep up with his wide strides. We were on a wide white and gray corridor surrounded by windows with a great view of the sky. "Just tell me, it's okay really."

"Maybe later," Reno's back to his cheeky self, whatever that came over him in the elevator is buried again. I want to punch him in the throat.

"Please Reno," I sound like I'm whining a bit, but at this point I don't care, I can't help but feel like this is a now or never situation, and there is no time like the present. "Just…what is it? Tell me what you know."

Reno drapes an arm around my shoulder, "It ain't nothing serious, Laney. Ask Tseng,"

"Tseng?" What in the hell does he have to do with this? Is he the one I should be punching in the throat? Is it okay to abuse him after what happened to him in the temple?

"Yeah," Reno rolls his gaze over at me. "He can tell you about his attraction to cute, angry blondes." He says, pinching my cheeks.

"Damn it, Reno," I pull away, "Are you ever serious?"

"Always, and yet never," Reno tests his luck, squeezing my flesh between his fingers again, sending irritating pain through my face.

I might have to rip his eyes out. Today is not the day for joking. Especially not about my sister, Tseng, or anything really. Why does he always seem so calm when I'm about to fall apart from my own internal drama? Let alone the fact that the world could end in a few days, I haven't even spoken to my mother in almost a year, and I can't reach her on her old number.

"What'd you _think_ I was talking about?" Reno flashes a weird look in my direction; it is a weird hybrid of a frown and something akin to surprise.

"Nothing."

Silence. I stare ahead, fiddling with lint in my pocket.

We reach a short flight of stairs, where at the top there is a heavy metal door with a security device on it. It scans our cards, a little light turns green, and the doors swing open to reveal the roof. We exit.

The door slams behind us and the only thing separating us from getting drenched is a concrete awning above our heads. On the horizon, a fleet of black shapes is rapidly approaching. I swallow and shift from foot to foot. Reno fishes out a cigarette, places it between his lips, and flicks his lighter on. He leans against the door, with his umbrella resting against his legs, and stares ahead, his face unreadable.

"Reno, are you sure you're concerned about this even a little bit?"

"About what?" Thanks to the wind, he's having a hard time getting the flame to catch onto the cigarette.

"I dunno. Everything…"

"Yeah?" The tip of his tongue is sticking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. The flame keeps dancing around in the wind, avoiding the cigarette. "Just stop blowing for one…second…dammit…just one second…"

"Can you stop smoking for like one second?"

He cuts his eyes over at me; a grin pulls at my lips in spite of myself.

Reno scoffs, "You're so damn cute, Laney."

I glare over at him and lift my middle finger.

Reno grins, "Anytime, Laney. Anytime."

"How about tonight?"

Reno scoffs, then winks, "Keep on and I might have to take you up on that."

I shake my head, turning my gaze towards the sky. What if I told him? What if I told him everything that's been going on for the past several months? Would he even believe me? What's it matter now anyway?

A weird little sound escaped my lips and floated away on the wind.

"What?" Reno looks over at me, ignoring the cigarette poised between his fingers. He heard that?

I shift from foot to foot, "Nothing. Just…thinking about…people…"

Reno locks eyes with me; his eyes seem greener than their natural blue. His expression changes, his frown becoming an Ah-Hah! face then a smug smirk, "Oooh…" he points his unlit cigarette in my direction, "Ooooh…Laney!"

"Noo! It's not what you think!"

"That explains it!"

"No it doesn't!"

What are you yelling about?" He doesn't have a trace of humor in his face.

"What?"

"What?"

"_What?"_

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"What means what. As in what are you freaking out about? Chill." He throws his cigarette out into the rain. It lands a few inches away, the tip sending up curls of smoke. He turns his gaze towards the sky again.

I'm confused.

"Oh yeah…" he says after a moment, "Tseng asked about you."

I carefully avoid his eyes, instead looking somewhere between his shoulder and the wall behind him. He's studying me I can feel it. Why do I feel like he's challenging me? What am I telling him without meaning to? "Oh yeah? What did he say?"

"You'd know if you visited him. He probably thinks you hate him." Reno moves a little closer, he bends down slightly, peering at me.

"I don't hate him. Stop staring at me like that!"

"You love him," he stands up straight, "I totally get it." I felt the warmth of his stupid hand on my shoulder, "Laneypuff…do us all a favor. Give him a screw, and y'all will both feel better."

"Reno! It's not like that!"

"I know," Reno says with an oddly subdued look on his face.

"You do?"

"Yeah. But you want it to be."

"You don't get it." _Shut up, Elena._

"Well how about you help me get it?" He's smirking openly now. What does he think he knows?

"There's nothing to get, Reno," I hold his gaze. If I look away, he'll just read into it, and he'll probably be right. "I just never got around to visiting him. Can we drop it?"

"Sure thing."

Other than the rain, there's silence.

He's gonna bring it up again when I least expect it. For him _not_ to do it would be unusual.

I need to relax. I've dwelled on a lot of stuff for an entire week of being virtually stuck inside, watching the world fall apart at the seams while I couldn't do a thing about it. Whenever Reno wasn't there to distract me, I was forced to think about either the world's problems or my own personal problems. My sister, my mother, Rufus and Tseng.

Visiting Tseng would've meant facing The Question. Or worse, him simply pretending he never asked me to dinner, and then me never knowing what he meant by it. Was it for a date? Or was it work stuff? Then there is Rufus who suddenly treated me like a stranger. I'm just not going to deal with it anymore. I'm going to take myself out of the equation, at least until stuff starts making sense again.

See, none of this would've happened if my head hadn't been in the clouds in the first place. My sister would have never gotten herself into something like this. She would've been focused. None of this crap has gotten me anywhere, and now Rufus probably thinks I'm just some silly girl. Why can't people just say what they mean?

I need to be focused on important things. Not having whatchamacallits with my superiors. Not that Tseng meant it like that. Not that Rufus was ever serious.

"Here they come," Reno interrupts my thoughts.

Soon, the helicopters are hovering above the helipads, all bearing the ShinRa logo. My fingers find their way into my mouth. I chew what was left of my nails. The wind from the helicopter blades kick around practically nonexistent dust and tosses rain and our hair into our faces. The unmistakable whirring sound filled my ears along with the rhythmic thumping of several propellers powering down. Reno taps my shoulder, gives me a thumbs up.

The propellers slow to a stop. The doors open and soldiers in typical uniform with no raincoats step out and opened massive black umbrellas emblazoned with the ShinRa logo that send rain flying off in random directions.

Scarlet is out first, jerking on the soldier's arm because apparently he wasn't moving fast enough to shield her from the rain. She red skirt is rumpled and uneven in places, and she moves across the surface with awkward steps in her five-inch red pumps. Maybe she lost some balance after that slap fight with Tifa Lockhart that was broadcast to the entire world. If I were her, I wouldn't show my swollen mess of a face for days. Can't say she didn't deserve it. Who thought that a public execution of Avalanche members was a good idea? Had to be her or Heidegger. No way did Rufus think up something like that, right?

"If she busts her ass, I wonder if he'll help her up," Reno chuckles dryly. I'd let her sit there."

"That's not nice."

"Being nice to people is a wasted effort, Laneypuff."

"You're nice to _me_."

"No I'm not."

I look over at him and scoff. "Oh shut up, Reno."

Reno laughs quietly, "Now that's the spirit." He's fished out another cigarette, and this time gets it to light up.

Heidegger's belly emerges, swathed in dark green. His chunky arm flies out and he gets his attendant by the face and shoves him out of the way. His unkempt black hair appears—he looks like he's perpetually shocked. The soldier struggles to keep the umbrella over his head while at a safe distance from Heidegger's fists. Scarlet and Heidegger catch up with each other and began talking as they fall in stride with each other, steadily getting closer to Reno and me.

I force a smile onto my face. Gotta seem professional. It might be okay for Reno to openly mock his superiors, but I don't think I have that kind of clout just yet.

"Hey, Laney," he rests a hand on my shoulder and leans in, his breath pleasantly warm and smoky against my ear, "Think they're banging?"

"What?" I say through gritted teeth. My lips are still turned in a smile as they draw closer.

"Seriously though, wanna bet?" His lips are curled back the most perverted grin, his teeth slightly visible.

"No!" I say, wriggling away—or at least trying to. I can't make too much commotion, don't want them thinking I'm unprofessional.

"You'd lose, 'cause I'm right. Scarlet and Heidegger all bent up over his desk…sweaty meat jiggling—"

"Shut up, arrgh it's in my head! I hate you!"

"Nah, you love me," he pats my shoulder, and moves away to flick ashes from his cigarette.

Heidegger is getting closer.

"You're sick—" I mutter, and then brighten to a "Hello! Welcome back" as Heidegger reaches us.

Heidegger growls, "Just open the door, girl."

Reno snickers. Crap. I fumble around for my access card, almost dropping it, and by the time, I have it, Reno has already opened the door and they are walking in without acknowledging me.

"Elena," Reno calls over their heads in an oddly serious and authoritative voice, "You can't waste time."

"I'm sorry—" I squeak.

"They need their rough desk coitus ASAP after such a high-octane situation."

"Reno!"

He slams the door before they can respond or before Heidegger can attempt to snatch a hole out of him.

"I can't believe you said that!"

" What are they gonna do? Not a damn thing—other than each other," he smirks, a mischievous glint in his eyes. A reluctant smile tugs at my lips. I wish I could care as little as he does. I'd be better at my job at least, and nothing would faze me. Heh.

Next out: Hojo, flanked by two soldiers one holding an umbrella, both watching Hojo as if they expect him to sprout wings and go on a cannibalistic rampage before flying away with a human snack clutched in his talons. His always-there lab coat flaps in the wind, he walks with a strange gait as if he might_ actually _take flight. I've never really looked at him up-close before. He never bothered to show up for board meetings. Too busy with that all-important world-ending 'research' of his, I guess.

As he gets closer, his beady eyes flicker from side to side. Reno waves a 'go-ahead' hand at me. Quickly, I turn around and slide my card.

The light stays red. Nothing happens.

"Turn it the other way, dear," a high-pitched nasally voice hisses. An involuntary shiver runs down my back. I flip the card and slide it through the security thing again. The light turns green, and the door opens. One of the soldiers grabs the door handle and holds it open. Hojo disappears inside.

Bleugh…

Reno elbows me in the ribs, "Laneypuff, when you're sleep he might try and steal a cup of your pee. Maybe your ovaries too if you're not careful."

"You're joking right?"

"I suggest you sleep with your gun under your pillow from now on."

"Ugh…"

There is a flash of white at the last helicopter. Two umbrellas emerge on either side. A pair of black boots and dark slacks appears on the left side. Rude stepped down easily, opening his umbrella over his head. On the other side, in brilliant white, beneath his own umbrella is Rufus.

It feels like forever since I last saw them. Instantly, my palms begin to sweat. Here we go…stay calm…staycalmstaycalm….

Rude reaches us first. Reno props himself up off the wall and intercepts him.

"Rude, good to see you man," Reno gives him a full-on hug. "Laney's been driving me crazy."

I want to say something funny in reply, but I can't. I feel like I've swallowed cement. I shift from foot-to foot, fidget, look around. What should I do? Say?

Rude steps out of the rain, says something to Reno, turns to me, a small smile on his lips. Yay! Hugs! I fling myself at him, lifting slightly off the ground, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my chin on his shoulder, being enveloped in warmth.

Over his shoulder, time slows down. Rufus walks past, his hair elegantly tousled by the wind, his long white coat billowing around him. For a moment, his gaze flickers over, our eyes meet. _ You can't ignore me forever._ As quick as it happened, he looks away, continues his stride, and stops in front of Reno. They talk. Time resumes normal function.

Dammit.

"Just say the word," Rude mutters in my ear, "and I'll choke slam your boyfriend".

I manage to laugh, but it comes out weird and wary. I can't even appreciate how hilarious that image would be. I detach myself from him and shove my hands into my pockets. Whipping around, I see Rufus' back disappear inside of the door, and the door slams shut with a sense of finality. Rude busies himself with closing his umbrella as the rain pounds around us.

Reno breaks the silence.

"We got a couple hours before Rufus wants to see us in his office," Reno says. Then he looks over at me, "Guess vacation's over, eh Laney?"

"I'd hardly call that a vacation." I hear myself say.

_What is Rufus' problem with me? _

Reno unlocks the roof door, and we go inside. Reno and Rude talk, Rude actually doing most of the talking explaining what happened in Junon from his point of view. I just listen, feeling a twinge of irritation whenever Rufus' name comes up. We make it to our floor, Reno, and Rude head for the break room, and I break away from the group and go into my office, shutting the door behind me.

Leaning against the door, I focus on breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.

Okay.

I pry myself off the door and wander to my desk, collapsing into my chair, and resting my head against the cool surface. I stare at a stack of files on the corner of my desk that slightly obscures the reddening tint of the sky behind the window.

What am I doing? There's a lot going on right now. It's not about me right now, and maybe it never was. Didn't I convince myself that I was going to focus? That I wasn't going to let it get to me? So what am I doing? My sister wouldn't be acting like this. Hell, she wouldn't have let herself get distracted by silly fluffy bunny stuff. What have I done so far other than mess up everything? Half the reason I agreed to become a Turk was to find out what happened to my sister. Instead, people seem to only see me as a faulty replacement-

_ Knock. Knock._

I look up. Rude is standing there at the doorframe, hands together in front of him like silent sentinel. Good thing it's him. I don't have to pretend to be okay with him, though there are times where I wish he didn't know nearly as much as he does. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I can handle it. I'm not a child. I'm totally capable of handling things on my own. I'm not going to mess anything else up, not this time.

So, I manage a small smile, "Hey, what's up?"

Rude adjusts his sunglasses, "We're heading up to Rufus' office."

Gah...

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Reno?"

"Getting something out of his office."

"Okay…I'm coming…" I manage to stand. I push the chair under the desk, the back slams against the edge of the desk.

"You okay?" He steps forward, crossing the threshold.

"What? Oh, I'm fine. I'm kinda…I'm okay."

"Okay," Rude says. He doesn't believe me.

"Fine. I'm not okay. I have a headache, and I feel like a silly little girl because I can't stop thinking about stuff that really shouldn't matter. I've never really learned how to let stuff go, y'know? Why does it even matter? He hasn't spoken to me in weeks, and he sorta acts like I don't exist anymore. It shouldn't matter."

"But it does matter to you, right?"

My face warms, "I wish it didn't. I really hate obsessing about it. There's so much more to worry about right now, and I'm worried about _that_? I don't even want to go up there right now and pretend like everything is okay, because it's not. But I'm going to, because I'm supposed to. When everything goes back to normal, maybe then I can do something about it, but right now…"

"Yeah?"

"I dunno. Right now, I just want to punch something. But I'll be okay. It's okay." I meet him at the door, "I mean…have you ever had a problem like this? Been involved with someone that you just know it is going to be one way and then it's a totally different way? "

He adjusts his glasses, clears his throat, and looks to the left. Yes. But I'm not going to talk about it, and please don't pry.

Fair enough.

"Okay, you don't have to answer that," I say, touching his shoulder. "Let's go get this over with."

We walk out together, pass Tseng's empty office, and meet Reno at the elevator. The doors open, and as we're stepping on Rude glances back at me, a slight frown of concern on his brow. I wave and pull my mouth into the cheesiest-toothy grin I can manage and then give him a thumbs up. _No need to worry about me. I'll be okay. _

He shakes his head, and I just know he's rolling his eyes at me.

Reno steps on first, while asking Rude if he wants to be in on the Heidegger/Scarlet bet. Rude raises one brow at Reno that says what we already know: Reno's a crazy person. I hesitate before following quietly. Why can't the elevator malfunction this one time? The doors close. I'm trapped.

I can do this. It's just a meeting, and Reno and Rude will be there too. I won't launch myself at Rufus and strangle him, and if I do, I can count on them to hold me back, right?

"So, Rude how much do you want to bet?"

"Not this again," I mutter. Do they have a pool going about me too?

"Hush up, Laneypuff," Reno smirks. "Grown folks are talking."

"You're like three years…maybe four years older than me. Shut up."

"You're just jealous." Reno says.

"Of what?"

"That you're not getting some on the desks of ShinRa. Or are you?" Reno pokes me sharply on the shoulder.

Rude and I exchange a glance; he shrugs and straightens his tie. What is that supposed to mean? Does he think—no! It's not like that! It was never like that! I mean, it could've been like that—I mean…nooo….I hope that tie straightening was a joke.

Reno snickers and turns his attention to Rude, "So, 200 gil says Heidegger is banging Scarlet out."

"500 gil says they aren't." Rude clears his throat uncomfortably.

"Rude, c'mon that's gross…" The last thing I want to think about is those two doing anything with each other. Ever.

"You have to humor him or he won't shut up about it," Rude says.

"Rude's got a point. But Laney, you're right, it is nasty. Heidegger all meaty and sweaty with Scarlet's legs hiked up in those red pumps—"

The elevator stops. The doors practically fling themselves open. 69th floor. We step out and begin the short ascent to the 70th floor. To Rufus. I slip my sweaty palms into my pockets and play around with the sharp ridges for my car keys. We go up the flight of stairs separating the 69th and 70th floors.

Chaminade's desk is empty; everything has been cleared off it, except for the computer. There's a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just want to run away and maybe hide in my office—no—my apartment. No—I want to leave Midgar. Go to Kalm, have my mom help me put my head back on straight. But I can't leave the city unless it's official ShinRa business. The city is on lockdown.

As we walk down the hall, Reno's seemingly one-sided conversation becomes mumbles as I can only hear the sound of my pulse thumping faster and faster in my ears. Omgahd. I really hate confrontation. Why can't I just _calm_ down? It's just a meeting. He's probably in there right now watching as we come down the hall. Completely calm and knowing exactly what he will say and how we will respond. Always so sure of everything going exactly how he wants it to.

My grip tightens on the key in my left hand, driving the sharp points into my flesh. Rude casts another glance in my direction. I do not even bother to pretend to be smiling, he knows better than that. I want to pretend to be okay, though. I don't want anyone's protection. I can do it on own—first I just have to figure out exactly what it is I'm doing.

We stop at the door to his office. No one knocks, knowing that he can see us. I stare at my feet, until I realize that the guys are already entering his office.

I cross the threshold and a blast of colder-than-expected air-conditioning forces an involuntary shiver through me. Has it always been this cold in his office? My eyes adjust to the natural light streaming through the massive window that covers an entire wall. There he is, standing with his back to us and his hands linked behind his back. The feeble sunlight glows around him, bouncing reddish yellow rays off his shoulders and hair. His shadow is cast over the glassy surface of the desk.

Beyond the window beneath the red sky is something new completely dominating the skyline. Construction of the Sister Ray Cannon.

Reno and Rude approach the window at Rufus' left, looking outward as well. Where should I go? I hesitate, then take a step forward, then another, then another. My boots clack against the floor, the sound resonating across the massive room.

I make my way to a safe spot furthest from Rufus, beside Rude. I stop, and retreat and ease up to Rufus' right. Alone. I stare ahead at at the cannon and the pulsing red lights all over its gleaming black body. It dwarfs every building in the city except for this one, but even still, it comes close to being the tallest thing in the city.

Rufus, from the corner of my eye, stares ahead too. Completely focused on the construction outside. I look away, drawing my bottom lip into my teeth. Maybe I should just leave it alone. It can wait, right? It is not that important. It's not important to him, and I told myself that it's not important to me either, so why is it bothering me so much?

"So, how's it gonna get power?" Reno's voice pokes at the tension in the air.

A quiet sigh escapes Rufus, he turns his face towards Reno, "Midgar will provide the power, in the event of its use, and the cannon will draw from the city's mako-power grid."

"Ohh….think it'll work?"

"It's feasible, but there are other options, which brings me to the reason that I called you up here."

And Rufus gaze flickers to me from the corner of his eye. An electric feeling rushes through me. I try to hold his gaze—something. I can't. I look away towards the cannon.

I felt him move away from the window. Exhale.

"We have a lot to discuss," he says from somewhere behind me. Is he talking directly to me?

No.

Rude and I leave the window at the same time. I pass in front of Rufus. He's leaning against the edge of his desk, waiting—looking directly at me. I stare. He looks away toward the window. Gah, why is this happening?

Rude takes his seat, leaving a chair free to his left, the one directly in front of Rufus' empty chair. I ease down on the other side of the empty chair, trying to remember to breathe. I stare at my lap, my hands are in fists against my lap.

"Reno…" Rufus says.

"I'm coming…" Reno hesitates like he'd rather stay at the window, and then finally comes and takes the middle seat, leaning back in it, completely lacking the rigid, professional posture of Rude and me.

Rufus sits down, and moves his hands together. His fingers comes together to form a steeple. "I have to prepare a statement for the media, so let's keep this brief."

"Fine by me." Reno shrugs.

An irritated twitch forms at the corner of Rufus' mouth.

"First, updates," he says crisply, "Has the little problem with the Weapons Department been resolved?"

_ Little _problem?

"Yeah." Reno says before I can answer.

"Good."

"Sorta."

"What do you mean 'sort of?" Rufus leans forward slightly, his expression unreadable except for miniscule twitch in the corner of his mouth and the tension in his jaw.

Reno leans back in his chair and explains, "I sent Elena to Icicle, so I finished it for her. Sara Lorcan reported that she has a crazy brother that looks like a chick who used to work here. Did some research and investigating. Couldn't find him. My guess is that he either quit or ran away before the city went on lockdown. All I know is that if he's serious he'll probably show up again. Just have to be patient, yknow?"

Rufus frowns ever so slightly. We might not have the time to be patient. "Do you have any reason to believe that his sister is involved?"

"Nah," Reno says.

"Are you sure?" Rufus gives Reno an intent stare.

"Positive," Reno says, leaning forward, giving him full-on eye contact, "besides, all the stuff was returned, so there's nothing else I can do."

"I see," Rufus glances down at manila envelope file sitting a few inches away with the ShinRa logo embossed on it.

"Yep," Reno glances in my direction. Am I missing something? He didn't tell me much about what happened about the assignment despite us spending a week together. But, at the same time, I didn't exactly _ask_ him. It was easily the furthest thing from my mind.

Rufus speaks again, "What of Tseng? He should be back at work, and yet there are only three of you here."

At least he sorta acknowledges my presence. He won't even look in my direction.

"Well," Reno says, "Tseng's fine. He's just not here because he's taking care of something. Said he was gonna run 'some errands'." He makes air quotations around 'some errands'.

Errands?

"Oh?" There's a slightly noticeable tightening around Rufus' mouth.

"He just said that he's calling in some old debts…and that it might be beneficial if things escalate further than they already have." Reno leans forward, for emphasis, "He said wanted you to be aware of that."

Am I missing something?

"I see," Rufus says simply, but something is bothering him. Why do I feel like I'm the only person in this room that has no idea what they're talking about?

"What else you wanna know?" Reno asks.

"That'll be all. I have your orders. Reno and Rude, you'll be going to Junon tomorrow, as well as a few other places…"

He continues on, talking about their assignment, and what they were going to be doing for the next few days and how important it is. What in the hell am I supposed to do while they're away?

"…you'll leave for 2 a.m."

"Alright."

"Fine."

"And what about me, sir?"

For the first time, Rufus looks directly at me, his cold blue eyes narrowing slightly, and his jaw noticeably clenching. _I guess you can't ignore me forever, can you?_

"What about you, Elena?"

I open my mouth to speak, I hesitate. "What are my orders? Am I going with Reno and Rude?" My voice is a little shaky. Crapwhistle.

"No. You'll stay in Midgar," he turns his attention back to Reno and Rude as if that was all that needed to be said, opens his mouth to say something to them. _No. That is not okay._

"Hold on, what do you mean?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rude shift in his seat.

When Rufus turns towards me again, irritation is clearly written across his face, but he manages his next words evenly, "I mean exactly what I said. You will remain in Midgar, Elena."

"With all due respect, sir I refuse to sit around here and do nothing. I'm just as good as these guys; I should be allowed to go outside of the city as well. There is no reason for me to be stuck in Midgar. I am sick and tired of being left behind every time there is a remotely challenging assignment-"

"Elena." Rufus cuts me off. He doesn't raise his voice, but the way he says my name—his tone his tight and laced with that familiar tense, threatening way I've heard him talk to others. Never to me.

"Sir?" I manage. My voice is solid, but barely audible.

Rufus leans forward slightly, not breaking eye contact. "Have you ever thought, that the reason you're left behind so much is because when you _are_ given 'remotely challenging' assignments, you constantly fail or threaten to embarrass the organization? Do you call what happened in Icicle an_ achievement_? Do you realize that because AVALANCHE reached the summit, _this_ happened? Now we have to clean up your mess.

Either you intentionally allowed Avalanche to reach us, or you really are as incompetent as you sometimes seem. For _your_ sake, I hope it is the latter and not the former. Perhaps personal reasons clouded your judgment, what the reasons were, I frankly do not care. I don't know what Tseng saw in you and your abilities, but I have yet to see it, and I do not feel comfortable allowing you to leave this city, not until I can actually trust you to deliver results.

This is an important assignment, and it is _my _decision to have _you_ left behind in Midgar where you cannot cause anymore harm. _And _for the record, Elena, you are _not_ as good as they are, if you were, we would not be having this conversation. So, yes, you _will_ remain in Midgar, Elena, and you _will _be called if you are needed. Consider this probation. Is that good enough for you, Elena?"

Words tumble out of my mouth, "I—I—yes. Yes—yes…yes s-sir…it…yes…" I look away, out of the window, at the desktop, my lap, at the guys. Reno's looking from me to Rufus and back again, his eyebrows raised, a slight frown between them, and his lips parted slightly in an 'o' shape. Rude is frowning, his mouth tense, his brow deeply furrowed. There's silence.

_Is that how he really feels? No. That is not okay…_

"Reno, Rude, Elena, you're dismissed," Rufus says, looking away from me and addressing us as a whole. Putting a proverbial wall between himself and us. I barely hear what he's saying, my mind is reeling, my pulse rushing through my ears, a tightness in my throat, my hands in tight fists.

_ He can't just…at is not okay. He can't just..._

There's movement, chairs being pushed back. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Rude. Maybe Reno. _Don't feel sorry for me._ I manage to stand up. There's a phone ringing. Someone answers it. There's talking. Now is not a good time. Not a good time. Not looking back, I follow them out towards the exit. The airlock is released and the door slides open. Rude and Reno step through it. I should go too.

No.

Not yet.

The door closes automatically, and there's that sound of hissing air as it settles into its place. I turn around. Rufus is standing up behind his desk, pacing back and forth, listening to some poor subordinate tell him something on the phone. Bastard.

I cross the floor in a few strides, my heels resonating loudly against the surface. I'm directly in front of him, only the desk is separating us. He looks at me, a frown frozen on his face. He'd expected me to leave all meek and quiet didn't he? Well no. No. It's not that easy.

"Call me back in five," he hangs up the phone before the other person can respond.

"Oh, this'll take less than five minutes."

"Elena look—"

"No. It's my turn," I say through gritted teeth. "You can't talk to me like that—you bastard son of a bitch. Yeah, maybe I could be better, but I don't deserve this. How the hell is all of this my fault? Yes, I disobeyed orders, but what is happening right now with the planet has nothing to do with me! And even if it did, I don't deserve this! This isn't even about Icicle is it! Well, I don't know what you wanted, or what you're doing, or if you were just playing some cruel game, or whatever the fuck you thought you were doing but I don't deserve this, especially from you.

Forgive me for getting it twisted! For thinking you actually had the emotional capacity to give a fuck about anyone but yourself! I didn't ask for this, and you've been a complete bastard since I returned from the Temple and all I'd wanted was a little support! Well you know what? I'm done. Fuck you, Rufus ShinRa. I'll do my job, but I'm done with whatever the hell I thought this was. You've made it very clear that you are bored or whatever with me you awful, self-serving, self-centered, self-important asshole—"

"You're overreacting—"

_ Overreacting? _

My hand strikes the side of his face. He turns away slightly from the impact, steadies himself, looks up at me through his fingers and the thick locks of hair hanging in his face with unadulterated shock dancing in his eyes.

He's speechless.

I open my mouth—apologize? No. I'm not sorry. He's searching my face, completely taken aback. Somehow, I manage to move; I back away, tear my gaze away, turn my back, and rush for the door. What did I just do?

Down the hall, down the stairs, to the elevator—they're waiting on me. Reno and Rude. Of course they wait on me when I'm about to fall apart. I can't endure them asking if I'm okay and telling me how they would've loved to stuff his stapler in his mouth for talking to poor innocent Elena who can't take care of herself in that sort of way. Reno will tell me that Rufus was just stressed out and that's why he took his frustration out on me. That I'm not that bad. I don't want to hear it I just need to get away.

"Elena—" Rude starts.

"Laney—"Reno begins.

"Don't, okay?" I hold up a hand, effectively cutting them off. "Just don't. I don't need you guys feeling sorry for me. You'll just make it worse." I hit the elevator button. The doors shoot open. I step on, press the wrong floor, cross my arms, and stare out of the window.

"C'mon Laney—"

"No," I snap. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't want you to make me feel better. I don't want to go out with you guys tonight. I don't want to do anything. I'm going to go in my office, get my things, and go to my apartment and try to call my mom again for the 100th time, and I'm going to try to figure out what just happened back there. Then I'm going to get up tomorrow and make myself useful and pretend none of that even happened. Okay?"

"…." Rude sighs, arms crossed.

"All right," Reno says lightly.

"Good." I say, sounding stronger than I feel.

I manage to ignore the lump in my throat and the stinging in my eyes for the entire elevator ride. Rude tries to say something when we finally reach our floor, but I can't keep it together anymore. My eyes are burning, I turn away from them, rush down the hall with as much dignity as I can muster. I stumble into my office, eyes burning. I close the door, lean against it; close my eyes against the tears.

Dammit. I feel…I feel…I don't know how I feel…angry, embarrassed, foolish…

Tseng was right then? Those months ago in his office, when he was so sure that something unfortunate was going on between Rufus and me? He was warning me? Warning me that getting involved with Rufus was a bad idea? He knew him better than me and I didn't listen. I never listen because I'm always talking too much to listen to anyone else. To listen to anyone who says something that I don't like. Didn't Rufus—didn't that son of a bitch warn me about his ways? He told me that this would happen.

But he also told me I was different.

I thought—crap I don't know what I thought. It was no surprise that he has a low tolerance for mistakes, especially when he's stressed out, but I'm not everybody else. And I don't think it had anything to do with Icicle. And I'm supposed to be different. Or at least I thought I was. He's been treating me like a shadow ever since the temple. Why does he have to be so impossible?

And all I'd wanted was someone to talk to. So simple and it snowballed into this mess. What was I thinking? That I could be the one person special enough to hold his fickle attention? Just when I'd almost convinced myself that I was _different_.

Then again, he's also really good at lying and manipulating people isn't he? And I obsessed about it almost every night, about _him_. I let him distract me. And just when I'd convinced myself that I was special, and that this was real, he ignores me then humiliates me all in the span of two week—tells me I'm worthless.

I let myself get distracted. I hate this. I'm angry at myself. For sitting on this floor in my office against the door with stupid tears running down my face and my fist in my mouth trying not to let the sobs escape just in case someone's listening. I'm angry at what my sister would probably say if she saw me right now.

"_Crying again little sister?"_

Ugh! I don't regret hitting him in the face. He deserved it. But what did I do to deserve this? Why did everything have to fall apart after the temple?

This is not my fault.

I need to get it together.

My sobs dissolve into heavy breathing, but hot liquid is still squeezing out of my eyes and rolling down my cheeks, collecting at my chin, sliding down my necktie.

Some Turk I am.

What now? Do I quit or wait to get fired for hitting him in the face? What about that probation, is that still on the table after physically assaulting the man who owns the world? Will the bruise that'll be on his face tomorrow morning be the only reminder that I ever got that close to him? That I even existed? Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but haven't I earned the right?

The worst thing is he probably doesn't even care.

That's how he really felt about me the whole time? That I was incompetent? A foolish girl? Then what did he want from me? Why me? Why did I have to be the one? Was any of it even real? Was he just _tolerating_ me? The incompetent cutie who is so stupid that she accidentally set off a chain reaction that has the entire planet—and more importantly the ShinRa Company— in danger?

That still doesn't answer the question. _Why me_? Of all people. Me?

When the sobbing is gone, I'm left with that oddly cleansed—empty feeling. The light outside seems duller. I release a sigh, brush away my tears, and draw my knees up to my chest. Outside, past the window on the other side of my small office, the red sky hangs over the city like an oppressive blanket. I release a sigh.

If we're still alive in a few days, if one of those gargantuan human-hating biogenetic things or Sephiroth's meteor doesn't destroy us all…

I'll start over.

No more hoping and falling for the most unavailable men I know.

No more avoiding unpleasant things.

No more distractions.

I have to focus.

I'll prove them wrong.

I'll fix my mistakes.

* * *

-vvvv-

* * *

_**Author's Note: Well well well. Sorry I took so long. I want to promise that it won't happen again, but we'll see. The next chapter will end part one/begin part two. There will be a small but significant time jump to *after* the events of the end of FFVII. You'll see. Trust -me; you're going to love it. I know I do. I got excited just planning the next few chapters. I will try to update as soon as possible. I don't want to rush out anything I'm not happy about, but I'm not going to take forever anymore, promise. I'm gonna go back and fix up the past few chapters, and I've finally decided on a tense, so if anything looks a little odd, forgive me while I go fix up the previous chapters.**_

_**Anyway, also, I know what just happened here is awesome and worrying, but it was necessary. This is still a Rufena story, so their relationship (or lack thereof) will continue to live on—just not how it did at first—which is in everyone's best interest. Trust me ;) So glad I decided to keep the slap in. There was a time when I'd actually cut it out! And that was a time when the chapter stopped writing itself and I stared at it and it stared at me. Then Elena turned around in that office, totally breaking the fourth wall and said to me while standing right in front of Rufus who was also waiting instruction: "I want to hit him. Make it happen." And so it happened. Harharhar**_

_**A few more things: I know it's been a while, so refresh your memory! In chapter 13 Tseng confronted Elena about his suspicions of a Rufena thing going on and implied his personal thoughts on how a relationship with Rufus would go. This is what Elena is referring to when she's crying in her office.**_

_**Food for thought: Do you think Tseng was protecting her way back when? Do you think Tseng's Question was innocent and work related or do you think he's actually interested in her? Do you think Reno is clueless? Also, other than the fact that his first challenge as the leader of ShinRa (and effectively, the world) involves almost certain destruction of the entire planet and everything and everyone he knows, why do you think Rufus is in such a sour mood? **_

_**In other news: I created a new forum that will have prompts and stuff for Turk related fan fiction. So far the administrators are someone2003 (always awesome and insightful thank you madam), and myself but if any of you awesome people want to help run the forum or if you have any suggestions to make it run smoothly (I have never done one xD) just send me a PM. **_

_**Don't be afraid to contact me, I don't bite-unless asked *wink wink*. **_

_**Special thanks to my new beta once again, your insight really helped! Also thanks Pandora radio for providing some good mood music for that scene in Rufus' office.**_

_**But yeah. Reviews! Tell me what you're thinking about anything in this chapter or in the entire story so far. Ideas, theories (I really love these), random thoughts, criticisms, suggestions, speculations about Elena, Reno, Rude, Rufus, Tseng, Sara, Chaminade, her mother, her sister Elyssia, anything or anyone really. Even Chocobo shirts and spelling/grammar/style issues-it is all welcomed with open arms.**_

_**Believe it or not, but I value your input and I appreciate long, insightful reviews. It helps me with the story more than you know. So thanks to all who take the time to read, and may thanks to those who take the time to review.  
**_

_**-GW08**_

_**Edit: Additional details have been added since chapter has been published. **_


	31. 3 Days Later

_-vvvv-_

_Chapter 31_

_3 Days Later_

* * *

_-vvvv-_

_What would you do if you could do it all over again_? That's what Elyssia would ask me sometimes after she beat me at something. Right now, the thought crosses my mind as I follow Reno and Rude down the dark, grimy subway beneath Midgar. The truth is, I have no idea what I would do. Maybe I would tell myself to never join the Turks in the first place. Maybe I'd stop my sister from joining too—yeah right. What else would I do? This is all I've ever _wanted_ to do, but not quite like this. Maybe I would've apologized to Rufus for what I said and how I said it—the whole situation feels petty now that the world is probably going to collapse on us all. Would I take it back? I don't know. Maybe not.

Maybe I would've visited Tseng in the hospital, or hell…maybe I would've forced him to leave the temple with me. Maybe then that ugly mess would've been avoided. Maybe I would've answered his question about the dinner after the assignment was over. Maybe I would've told Reno and Rude that their efforts three days ago would be completely in vain, that the rocket would launch, and when it made contact with the meteor it would barely leave a scar, the thing still rapidly heading towards the planet.

Maybe I would've done a million things differently—I dunno. But I do know one thing—

"I'm not doing it."

Today seems like a great day to be insubordinate.

"Doing what?" Reno looks over at me. He and Reno are on either side of me as we walk on rails. Other than the dull buzzing of florescent lights and rats scuttling by searching for trash, there is complete silence. No one is talking much, and Reno hasn't made a single snide remark.

"This," I kick a paper bag out of the way, "wasting our time."

"Doubt it, Avalanche is most likely down here," Reno says with a shrug. He's right; intelligence spotted them in Midgar's airspace about thirty minutes ago and Heidegger ordered us to go find them. The one time he actually pays attention to our department, and it was just as well, because we weren't doing anything anyway.

"That's not what I'm saying," I hear myself say. My tone is low, but assertive. I'm glad. It is hard to be insubordinate if you sound like a wimp. "I'm saying I'm not killing them."

"Fine," Reno says, "if you don't want to you don't have to."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, we'll handle it," he glances over at me. The look on his face is calling me a Toddler Turk again.

"Reno, I'm not saying that I _couldn't_ do it, I'm saying that I'm not going to."

Yes. I think I might have broken that thing that makes me give a crap. I mean, after what I did to Rufus ShinRa of all people,I don't think there's much else wrong I can do.

"We have our orders, Elena," Rude says from the other side of me. There's no conviction in his tone, he's just simply stating a fact. Well, so am I.

"I don't care. We should be up there with the others, being useful. We shouldn't be getting in their way, we have bigger things to worry about. It's not like orders really matter to you two anyway—"

Suddenly, the lights go out and there's absolute darkness. I can't even see my hands in front of my face. There's no sound or movement for the longest time.

"What was that?" Reno's voice breaks the silence.

_Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out._

"I—I'm not…I'm not sure…" I hear myself say. I think it's a rhetorical question, but I don't care, this is not how I want to spend what could be the last day of my life. I can't stand the darkness, not anymore. Not after the Temple of Ancients. _Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm._

Reno, while pacing, mutters something about how the Sister Ray Cannon most likely just drained all the power just like Rufus said it would. That Cannon is ShinRa's last chance. If it doesn't work—well I don't want to the spend what could be the last moments of Midgar or of my life in the dark underground on a pointless mission. We have to get out of here. Where are the exits? I can't breathe—

"Elena, are you okay?" Rude's voice is low and cautious in my ear.

"Yeah…yeah…."

"You sure?" Reno's voice comes in, his elbow nudging me, "if I didn't know any better I'd say you were about to start hyperventilating."

Great, now I sound like an incompetent child. This is not how I want to be remembered. I'm sure Reno and Rude carry scars from old assignments, but I don't see them walking around about to have a panic attack just because the lights went off. Who in their right mind is afraid of the _dark_? I'm not a child. I'm just as good as they are.

"I'm fine," I say with as much force as possible, "we just need to get out of here."

"Don't worry, Laney," Reno says. Something heavy falls into my hand. "We've got you as long as you've got us, right Rude?"

"Certainly," Rude replies. There is a soft click and two strong beams of light cut through the darkness.

"Oh…flashlights," I fumble around for the switch and turn on mine as well. "Great, let's get out of here."

-vvvv-

Easier said than done.

We're farther into the underground tunnels. A few miles back we found a subway map and memorized the exits—so far none of them have worked because they're electronically sealed. We have a few tries left. Reno's leading the way and Rude is behind me.

Now our lights are aimed at an open grate at section 10 near a rusty maintenance door that won't open for us. Reno's got his free hand on his hip and is musing about how we could fit through it if it was only several inches bigger—or at least _he_ could fit through it, and I probably could too. Never mind that it is also several feet off the ground in a ceiling—though with Reno's spider-monkey tactics, _that _wouldn't be a problem.

"Hey guys?" Reno snaps out of his thoughtful trance and turns toward us, his beam momentarily blinding me, "get anything from ShinRa?"

"Nope, not since you asked two minutes ago," I say. Not sarcastically. I don't have the energy for that. I don't think any of us do. We just wanna get out of here and see if ShinRa succeeded and if everything else is okay. Even so, I can't get over how much this is like the Temple of Ancients with us being so isolated and cut off from the world in the dark—literal and figurative. Only difference is, we're the ones that are supposed to be doing the hunting. I think we're just waiting to see who'll admit it first—that none of us are really sure what's going to happen.

A few more miles in, Reno stops suddenly, and I run smack dab into his back and barely catch myself.

Reno almost loses his balance. He swears.

"Your fault," I say and slap him on the shoulder. Maybe I should hug him? No. That would be weird.

Reno chuckles and aims his flashlight down the rail corridor and into the darkness. What if a train comes out of nowhere and flattens us all? Then they'd have to scrape us off the train tracks. He makes his way across the rails, opting to balance on them instead of stepping over them, until he reaches the base of the loading area. He places his flashlight on the upper platform. The light beam flickers and rolls back and forth on a grimy wall in the distance. Reno launches himself up on the platform with cat-like grace and collects the flashlight. He waves us over. I feel my stomach clench a little. Are we finally about to get to the surface? We've barely been down here an hour, but it feels like years.

When we join him, we look where he's looking. Down the platform at the far end of the corridor, at another loading area about half a mile away, there is a rhythmic flicker from a system of fluorescent bulbs. If there's electricity that means the doors down there probably work—hopefully they're not impassable for any other reason.

"Let's get the hell out of here," Rude says, mostly to himself. A snicker bubbles up in spite of the situation. It's not every day that Rude says something like that. I just hope we actually _can_ get the hell out of here. What if the whole thing collapses on us? When this is over, I'd hate for people to ask me where I was during "The-Time-Everyone-Almost-Died" or whatever name they'll give it if everything works out and that meteor doesn't kill us all. All I'll be able to say is that I was underground and missed all of the action and that the most interesting thing I saw was a tiny mouse eating a little potato chip a while back.

Armed with flashlights and guns, we make our way towards the light.

This seems like a good time to admit some deep dark secret—oh hey Reno, guess what, up until a few days ago me and Rufus were whatchamacallits. Or oh hey I threw your cigarette stash out of the window when we were hanging out. It seems like a good time to ask some ultimate question, to go ahead and get whatever has been bothering me off my chest once and for all, but I don't really have anything to say. Would I tell him that I hit Rufus in the face? That's probably not something he'd want to hear right now. There is so much more going on than my silly little fluffy bunny problems. Three days ago, that seemed like the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Now, just thinking about it makes me feel like I might've overreacted, that my mind was in the wrong place on the wrong thing. A little. Maybe. What's it matter now anyway? I'm supposed to be starting over, not looking back. Unless we all die before the week is out—but I'm trying to keep an open mind here.

We're halfway to the flickering light. Hopefully we can find a way out. I just hope everything is okay. It's not just me…I can feel it from them too. We don't know what to expect when we get out of here. At least, I hope it's not just me, I'd like to think I have a better handle on reading them now. A little bit. All I know is this attempt—using the Cannon to destroy the thing around the Northern Crater where Sephiroth is-could backfire or miss or something. What then? ShinRa'll be out of plans while the planet has world-ending beasts rampaging and attacking cities. Then there's that big meteor that is a little too close for comfort. They say that we have a few more hours, thirty at the most, before….

But everything will be okay, right? We'll get out of here and everything will be okay. We'll be laughing at the bar about that one time that everyone almost died because of a big meteor that had been summoned by a lunatic who had been ignored for far too long. Yep. That sounds about right. Tomorrow will come. It has to because I haven't fixed what I need to fix yet.

"You're awfully quiet, Laney," Reno mutters. He's talking softly, his voice painfully low. I can barely hear him. We're halfway through the darkness, and the buzzing of the florescent lights is getting louder with each step.

"So?"

"It's weird, I don't like it."

You know what? No more secrets. Especially those that don't matter anymore. It'll be one less thing for me to worry about—to feel guilty for hiding.

"I was just thinking," I say. This isn't a big deal. Not anymore, so why am I so nervous to tell him? Yes, it is weird enough with Rude knowing, but things are different now. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. It doesn't matter. We're all gonna die anyway. Maybe.

"About what?"

"About President.…about Rufus."

"Oh yeah? What about him?"

"I'm just thinking about if it was bad timing to—"

"Shh-you hear that?" Reno stopped short directly under the fluorescent lights buzzing over our heads. Well so much for that.

Rude and I stop as well. We're standing in front of two maintenance tunnels that branch out to the east and west. Other than the dull hum of the bulb, there's nothing for a moment, and then there it is—voices and footsteps. There's definitely more than two, and from the sound of it, they're debating about something. They're probably lost. Is that Cloud I hear?

Next thing I know we're hugging the wall with the flashlights off, standing outside of the pool of fluorescent lights, effectively hidden in the darkness, I hear the click of a gun being cocked. As they get closer, their figures become solid, and then they appear under the lights. There's all of them—Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie, Cid, Barrett, Reeve—I mean Cait Sith, and the former Turk, Vincent Valentine. They have their weapons drawn, and they look a bit like crap with cuts, bruises, and fatigue written all over them. They're walking fast with a purpose, and looking around. If they look hard enough, they'd see us.

"Laney," Reno's voice is right next to my ear, "I need you to go ask them for directions."

"What?"

"Go."

"No, have you lost your mind?"

"They had to get in here some kind of way, and they like you, Laney, now go—" I feel his hand grab mine, and the next thing I know I'm shoved into the light.

Cloud appears at that exact moment. He stops. I stop, my hand flying to my gun. He locks eyes with me, first there is surprise, and then the tension in his face relaxes. The others appear on either side of him, some confused as to why he's stopped. They look at me, and their reactions are completely different. They take aggressive stances and tighten their grip on their weapons, except Vincent. The former Turk is standing there a bit covered in shadow, his arms crossed over his ridiculous leather clothes.

"I've been looking for you," I say. Oh gosh this'll be the Mythril mines all over again.

"Looking for us?" Cloud says cautiously.

His party looks from me to him, confusion written over their faces. Surely, they want to know why Cloud would talk to someone in my position with such friendliness. Didn't I say that the next time I saw him I wouldn't be nice? Welp, maybe I don't particularly feel like making good on that promise.

"We have orders to kill you," I say with as much conviction as I can muster. His party members tighten their grips on their weapons, their expressions change from confusion to weary determination. They would have no qualms against battle, even if they didn't want to, and I don't think the odds are in our favor. "But…I mean, I think giving the circumstances, it's okay to ignore those orders…"

I feel Reno and Rude's emerge on either side of me. Cloud frowns slightly, breaking eye contact with me and looking at the men.

"What she said," Reno says, out of the corner of my eye I can see him shrugging. I also can see that his weapon is out and is deceptively at rest in his hand. In one easy move, that weird electro-mag rod would extend and be dancing with blue electricity ready to mess someone up. Not to mention the gun that I know is under his suit jacket. "What do you think, Rude?"

"It makes no difference to me," Rude says, all while cracking his knuckles oh so innocently.

Cloud frowns, his gaze darting from one to the other, and he tightens his grip on his oversized sword.

"We don't have time for games," the short, broad shouldered one with the blonde hair and scraggly beard—Cid Highwind I think—says. "What are we doing?"

"I don't want to fight," Cloud admits, "but I will."

"It's up to you." Reno says, directing his words to Cloud and his friends.

The party looks around at each other uncertainly.

"Let's go," Vincent speaks up. He glances at us, and then keeps his gaze focused on Cloud. Does he know something that we don't?

"Yeah," Cloud starts walking off, slightly uncertain of turning his back to us, then he stops short, and turns slightly towards me, his eyes find mine, "Back that way there's a way out of here. Should take about twenty minutes to reach it. There's a ladder beside a malfunctioning maintenance door, there'll be a tunnel you'll have to crawl through, and it'll lead into an alleyway above ground."

"Oh…okay…um…thanks."

"Yeah," Cloud says. He gives me a weird, pained look—is that some type of smile? Is that what he calls a smile?

Awkward.

With that, Cloud and his confused friends run off, not looking back. I guess they don't trust the guys to keep up their end of the cease-fire too long. I turn towards the guys, and they're both looking at me with raised eyebrows. They don't say anything, they just put their weapons away and start towards the eastern path, away from Cloud and his friends.

Cloud was telling the truth. We find the maintenance door buzzing with electricity and a red light blinking on and off above it. Beside it is a rusted ladder leading up to a square shaped opening big enough to fit one adult-sized person at a time. Reno decides to lead the way through without me or Rude volunteering. He takes the ladder three rungs at a time, peeks inside of the hole armed with his flashlight, and then climbs inside easily. I follow and crawl partway in to allow Rude some room to get in. Reno's flashlight glows several feet in front of us, leading the way. For a couple minutes, I hear nothing but my own breathing and the sound of the metal creaking under our weight. Reno pauses occasionally to choose a path whenever we reach a divide, and then continues on his way.

As we get closer to the surface, a new sound meets our ears: sirens blaring. After about forty minutes, we reach the end of the duct. There is another ladder, a shorter one. We climb up, and the sounds of the sirens are painfully loud, rattling against the walls. Different smells are around us, and fresh air from outside is rushing in on us in the form of powerful gusts of wind. Reno climbs up and out, disappearing from view. The sky is a red circle above my head, much darker than before, it looks like the entire thing wants to cave in. Inhaling, I pull myself up out of the hole.

A strong gust of wind almost knocks me over. We're in a cramped, alley on the old side of town with crumbling buildings on either side of us. It smells like sewage, oil, and smoke. The sky directly above is a bloody shade of red. I look around and spot Reno, standing at the top of some stairs that lead out onto the deserted service streets, his face is turned upward. I rush up to join him, Rude close at my heels.

I follow his gaze.

The city. Thick black plumes of smoke coat the sky above downtown, there's fire dancing out of some of them, and—in the center of the destruction is the ShinRa building. The lower levels look perfectly fine, but the tower is—there's nothing but smoke around the ShinRa tower, thick and black, impossible to see through.

-vvvv-

Rude slides open the door of the medical heli-taxi that we flagged down and jumps down as soon as it's properly on the ground. I'm right behind him, and there is a crunch of glass under my boots. The wind has picked up considerably, sending debris flying past our heads. Reno joins us from the other side of the heli-taxi, his eyes turned up to the building. The medi-copter is back in the air almost immediately, its searchlights disappearing in the smoke. Dust from the debris stings my eyes as I take in the scene: there's jagged chunks of glass littering the parking lot, bits of concrete from the ShinRa building everywhere. There's organized chaos around us, emergency responders, civilians.

We look at each other, and for a moment everything around becomes muted and strange—blurry even—except them. This is really happening isn't it? The emergency professionals were talking—they said that when Diamond Weapon attacked, Sister Ray had only just fired, and Rufus' office took a direct hit, and now nobody can reach the top floors to check on him and no one has heard from him since.

My eyes are stinging and I don't think it's from the debris. I look away from them and towards the building. We have to get in there and find him. I just hope he is okay. Despite what happened between us, I wouldn't want something horrible to happen to him. I hope he wasn't in that office when it happened. If he was—

"Let's go find the President," Reno says, breaking my thoughts.

We head towards the main entrance, moving quickly but carefully around other people and chunks of debris and glass. The doors are sitting open, as if they're waiting on us. Inside of the building, the lobby is its glossy self, except the emptiness and silence is a bit disconcerting. The ShinRa logo burns bright on a glass sign in the middle of the lobby just as usual.

Reno walks over to the elevator we'd used to get to the roof and tries the button. No response. We walk around the lobby trying a few more elevators. No response.

Rude crosses his arms and furrows his brow. "Looks like the emergency lock system was activated."

Reno scoffs, "They managed to get that working pretty well."

"Maybe we should take the stairs?" I say.

"Great idea," a voice says.

Standing near the entrance in his suit, looking like he'd never taken a 9-foot long sword through the stomach, is Tseng.

"Tseng!" I hear a painfully shrill voice shout. Me. And, no longer in control of my body, I sprint across the lobby and throw myself against him in a completely inappropriate hug.

"It's nice to finally see you as well, Elena," he says, and I feel his hand on my shoulder in a non-hug. He breaks my embrace and backs away ever so slightly. What am I doing? That's not—whatever. I don't care. Our eyes meet and he gives me a half-smile, and briskly turns his attention to Reno and Rude who'd made it across the lobby to us. His hand is still on my shoulder.

"Good to see you all," Tseng says, his usual business-like self. This is so surreal, I wasn't exactly expecting to see him right here. Where has he been? Did he only just get back into the city? Surely, he would've searched for Rufus on his own by now if he'd seen it happen.

"You too," Reno says. "So, what's the plan?"

"Find the president. From what I've gathered, they lost contact with him in his office when the Tower was struck…so there is a high possibility that he is up there. Let's get to work. I'll go upstairs to the ShinRa tower—"

"Me too," I say. Why did I just agree to that?

"Great," Tseng says, with no indication that this bothers him. "Reno and Rude, check the executive rooms in the basement level, though I don't recall there being a panic room installed in the President's Office, he could still be in one of them."

"Will do," Reno says, and with that, he and Rude head off towards the basements.

Tseng gave a curt nod, then turns to me, "Ready?"

I nod. I can't very well tell him the truth: that I'm not ready and that I feel like I may cry and throw up. What if he's not okay? I can't very well tell him that I'm scared.

-vvvv-

The higher we get, the harder it is to breathe, and not just because climbing hundreds of stairs is plain ridiculous. The smoke has filled the stairwells. My eyes are burning and streaming with liquid and my throat feels like it is on fire. Occasionally we get some relief from the massive holes in the building where one of the blasts cut through the facade and the smoke is leaking out. We reach the sixty-ninth floor through a security entrance—Tseng shot the keypad—and end up directly in front of the stairs that'll take us to the seventh floor.

The smoke is thicker here, clinging to the ceiling. There's wires hanging down, and gashes in the walls revealing the city outside. Tseng sighs slightly and, with what seems like a bit of an effort, he leads the way up the staircase. Funny, I never expected to be heading back up to this office anytime soon, especially not like this. Hard to believe it was only three days ago that I slapped him and told him where he could take his charm and attractiveness and nasty attitude. I wish I could take it back. Just in case.

Tseng overrides the security lock on his office…what if he's not okay? How did things get so bad so fast? Am I the only one who didn't really see this coming? This whole mess? Was I really paying so little attention? I went to the meetings. I talked to Cloud, but none of it seemed to really matter. Not really. They were just assignments that happened to involve other people. Not people I know. Not to us. And yet, here we are.

The 70th floor. Chaminade's desk is empty, and even more than before, its emptiness disturbs me. What happened to her? Where is she? We turn down the hallway to Rufus' office, where the smoke is so thick, that it is almost too much.

"Tseng?" My hand is over my mouth and nose, I'm not sure if he can even hear me.

"Yes?"

We've reached the door to his office. Tseng flips open a little hidden door under the thumb-pad and begin putting in a code.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I….nothing."

"No, go ahead."

"I guess it's stupid, but I'm sorry for not coming to see you in the hospital. I wanted to but…" But what? But I'm too pathetic and selfish? I shrug.

"It's fine," Tseng says. There's no hint of anything else in his tone.

"I know…but I mean..."

Tseng stops what he's doing for a moment, and looks at me. He doesn't seem annoyed that I'm interrupting him while he's trying to recall one of many many many codes he probably had to learn. "It's fine. You have nothing to apologize for, you did your job."

"Well…I mean it was more than just 'my job'," I say.

"Yes, well," Tseng trails off, turning back towards the task. "Let's leave it at this: I'll return the favor if you're ever in a similar position. Provided we still exist in a few days. Now, let's focus."

The keypad lights up green as the last number is entered. The unmistakable sound of air escaping fills the air as the door slids open. Smoke rushes out, burning my eyes and throat and blurring my vision. Maybe that's a good thing—I'm afraid of what I'll see.

Tseng tells me to turn on my flashlight. I flick the switch on and the beam cuts through the thinning haze of smoke around us. The remains of Rufus ShinRa's office comes into view. A large metal beam lies across half of the desk—most of it being nothing but shards of glass and a warped frame at this point. Thick wires hang from the ceiling, looking like strange electric snakes. The searchlights from the helicopters outside pass over glittering shards of broken glass on the desk and floor. The window—or what used to be a window—is completely gone. My throat tightens. Whenever I'd visited his office, he'd usually be standing at it looking out over his city, seeming so preoccupied. We'd talk near that window, sometimes with him holding me from behind—usually me rambling about something….and then we'd kiss up against it-

"He's not in here." Tseng's voice cuts through my thoughts. _He's not?_

"That means he's alive?" I say, I sound a little too excited. Or he's millions of tiny pieces. "Are you…sure, sir?"

"No, but it seems likely," Tseng's voice cuts through the darkness and his flashlight beam floods my vision for a moment. "We need to do a more thorough search," he sweeps the beam over the entire office. He could be in one of the closets or the private bathroom or….not.

"Elena? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I…I'm fine, just wondering where The President could be." I've been standing there for the past minute with my flashlight pointed at the ground.

Tseng doesn't say anything. Instead simply walks across the office, glass crunching underfoot, and heads to one of the closets, and then he opens the door to the personal bathroom on the far side of the office, behind the black couches, and goes inside.

I can't just stand here and do nothing.

"What if he didn't make it out?"I say, almost to myself.

"We would've found him by now…or something indicating that he is or was in here…such as blood.…" Tseng calls out. He's mostly hidden behind the bathroom door.

_But word on the street is that he doesn't bleed?_

I make my way around the remains of the desk. A beam from the ceiling smashed most of it to bits, but one side is still intact. I crouch down, aiming my flashlight beneath it.

Something is off. Wouldn't the most important room in the building have a failsafe for something like this? At 70 floors up, surely they knew that getting immediate help from anyone would be a small chance if the top floor was compromised. Maybe there's something hidden or something? Maybe only a few people know about it?

Tseng is out of the bathroom now, standing nearby, talking on his cell phone to Reno and Rude asking if they've found anything. They haven't. Something's not right, or maybe it is right and he actually had left the building earlier? But why hasn't anyone seen or heard from him? He didn't just fall off the face of the planet. He can't have.

My light lands on something under the desk. There's a button with a red L on it beneath the desk.

"What does L mean?"

"What?" Tseng's next to me, peering under the desk as well. "I'm not sure what 'L' means, but that is a panic button. I don't recall one being installed…" he mutters to himself.

"So…are you saying that he got under his desk and maybe…hit it and…but…where would it go?"

"I would assume the floor opened and he was sent to a lower level of the building. Most likely the basement with the others—or perhaps the first floor—"Tseng turned his attention to his phone again, and put it on speaker, "Reno, Rude-Elena found a panic button beneath Rufus' desk. Check for anything on the walls of the basement floor—and then the first floor—that may indicate a hidden door."

"Will do, boss," Reno says. He sounds relieved.

"Now, we wait…" Tseng says.

"I guess so," I stand up and another look around the office. The mounted television has been smashed to bits, and is in a heap on the floor. This seems like a great moment to say something that I'll regret in the morning. The beauty of it is that morning may not ever come. "Tseng?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

"What? Again?" Tseng asks with slight incredulous humor lacing his tone. Now he probably thinks I'm an idiot that can't handle a little bit of world-ending drama.

"Yeah," I begin. I open my mouth, then close it, then open again like a drowning fish. I shift from foot to foot and look at the glass glinting on the floor. Finally, I manage to get it out: "I lied to you."

There is a tense moment of silence. I brace myself for what he's going to say. The only sound comes from the wind moaning outside.

"I know," Tseng says. Simple as that.

I look over at him, my mouth open. I can tell he's looking at me too, but I can't see his face.

"Boss!" Reno's voice cut through the silence

"Yeah?" Tseng says to Reno, but he's still looking at me. I can feel it.

"We found him—whoa—" Reno swears, "he just passed out."

-vvvv-

The weather has gotten worse by the time we make it downstairs. There's lightning flashing in the sky—a sky that looks more and more like blood and more and more like it's caving in on itself. The wind is incredibly strong, making it hard to maintain footing with any type of a grace. There's debris flying around—mostly lighter pieces of the ShinRa building, and wires. Beneath the sky are all types of aircrafts, a lot with searchlights combing the area. And in the middle of it, there's people shouting orders, medical teams and soldiers running around, and sirens blaring in the distance.

"Tseng? Where are they?"

Before the words are even completely out of my mouth, both our cell phones ring. Mine vibrates in the inner pocket of my blazer. The answer is there on the screen. They left with the medical heli-taxi that came about thirty minutes ago, and they are almost at a hospital on the other side of the city.

I exhale for what feels like the first time all day.

That means Rufus is okay—well he's alive at least. I wonder how bad his injuries are—he's got to have some, no way did he get out of this without any. But he's okay. I guess.

But what about the rest of us? Everything could be okay right now, but everything could still fall apart. And there's so much that I haven't done—so much that I want to fix. I look up at Tseng. He's looking around the scene, his face almost completely unreadable except for the little furrow between his brows. The wind is tossing his hair around freely, and somehow, framed by the searchlights; it makes him look a little angelic.

What is he thinking? That if we make it out of this alive…

There's so much to say, and yet nothing to say at all. What about tomorrow? What about all the mistakes, and the lies, and the stuff that seems so petty right now? If everything works out does that stuff stop mattering, or does it matter just as much as it did or even a little more? If we're okay three days later, what happens then? Do we all just go about our business like nothing ever happened?

"Tseng? What now?"

He looks down at me, actually focusing on me for the first time since he returned. "We'll meet up with Reno, Rude and the President at the hospital. I have a chopper coming to get us."

"No, I mean…after that?"

"I don't know, Elena," Tseng says. He looks away from me, looking around at the scene around us. There's a roll of thunder somewhere in the distance. Things tend to get worse before they get better.

"Worried?" I say. I'm trying to come off a little carefree—never mind the sick feeling in my stomach and the millions of thoughts crashing around.

"Worrying doesn't solve anything—but," Tseng pauses slightly, and looks at me, "what about you?"

I look around. There's dozens of aircrafts flying around, most of them probably overwhelmed health professionals. The ShinRa building is still crumbling above us—-terrified could be the operative word here, I think. I guess there's no reason in saving face—there may be no reason to save it? Sometimes the unknown is the scariest part.

"Terrified sir, let's go with terrified."

"Well," Tseng says, I feel his hand on my shoulder, "if we make it through this one, I'll owe you one."

"Yeah…..right…."

As I'm working hard on not bursting into tears, a chopper lands a few feet away from us, the propellers slow and finally go still, but the pilot is already coming around the helicopter to meet us halfway. He's got dark hair that barely brushes his shoulders, and black framed glasses around his eyes. He's wearing all black in the form of a dark t-shirt over his svelte frame and dark pants. And he's very serious and all business—and soft spoken his voice almost inaudible over the chaos. He doesn't seem bothered to raise it.

"It wasn't very easy getting one of these Tseng," he says as an introduction. His gaze lands on me, and he looks back at Tseng without a second thought—for a second. Then he looks at me again, his eyebrow raising. He has a do-we-know-each-other look on his face.

"I wasn't aware you had arrived—"

"_This_ is Elena," Tseng interrupts.

Then comes the automatic nice to meet you introduction, but I'm not paying attention to him or whatever he said his name was. What did he mean by that? Why did he think he knew me? I don't get an answer to my question, before I know it, Tseng is whisking me off to the helicopter, leaving the guy behind on the ground. I'm in the co-pilot's seat, with Tseng flying.

The helicopter whirs to life, all of the control panels illuminating. Tseng slips on his headgear, and then we're rising up in the air. Among the chaos, the ShinRa tower stands tall in the air wounded. The biggest wound being the huge gash in it where Rufus' office was with smoke still rising up into the scarlet sky.

* * *

-vvv-

* * *

**_GW08: Hey! I know I know I know—where were you, you say. I'm sorreh. This chapter was mostly done about 2 or 3 months ago, but I had the hardest time with the ending—not to mention I've been really busy with my personal life and all the changes therein. Anyway, I wasn't sure how hardcore I wanted to go with things and how much information I wanted to hold back until the second half. That, and I made the unfortunate decision of trying to write this chapter and the next simultaneously for a while before I realized that Chapter 32 wasn't ready yet. No fears, Chapter 32 won't take as long as the past 3 chapters have. Me and my lovely beta who keeps changing her name ;) came up with a great outline that marries everything I wanted for the next chapter perfectly. I'm excited. I hope you guys are too! This chapter marks the end of part 1 and part 2 starts with Chapter 32. I have a lot planned, and I'm going to try to get it written and published faster. I'm not going to promise specifics as far as time is concerned, but I promise that it won't take MONTHS anymore. Thank you guys for your patience. _**

**_Food for thought: 1) Who do you think ole dude at the end was? Who do you think he thought Elena was? What do you think this means? (2) What do you make of Tseng's reaction to Elena's "confession" about lying to him a while back about the nature of her relationship with Rufus? (3) Do you think Reno has any clue as to what she was about to tell him? (4) What would you personally like to see in the upcoming chapters (other than pairings? xD)?_**

**Also, guys and gals, I'm going to be changing my penname, and I'm trying to think of what I want to change it to. If you have any suggestions ;) feel free. I'm trying to think of something quirky and easy to remember. Whatever I decide on, I'll be sure to warn you guys as to what it will be in the next chapter note, though most of y'all probably search the name of the fic instead of my penname anyway, am I right?**

**_Anywho, you know what to do. Be a doll and review!_ That wasn't too tacky, was it? xD**


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